Welcome in,

everybody!

It's the Craft Beer Republic.

Thanks for drinkin'.

Thanks for joinin'.

Fresh from the freshest coast!

I can't stop thinking about fresh coast ever since last week's show.

- Yeah,

it's kinda neat.

- It's flex!

Yeah.

I didn't even know that was a thing 'til last week.

Yeah,

you know,

we're just surrounded by large bodies of fresh water.

Makes sense.

Yeah,

come out here,

I'd be surrounded by another large body.

- Ooooh!

- The Pacific Ocean,

I don't...

- It's got all tingly inside.

- Yeah,

no.

Nothin' like some Pacific Ocean for ya.

Nothin' like some inside tingles.

- I have to leave now.

- And then leaving the show...

She's so sorry she agreed to this.

Coming to us from somewhere else that it snows,

in the middle of the country.

You may know her on the 'Gram as Ms.

Tipsy Socks.

You can also find her at OnlyToes.com and Beer Nerd Radio.

- This is our friend Steph,

what's happening?

- Hi,

how's it going?

Good.

How much do you charge for your Only Toes site?

- What is that,

like 40 bucks a month or something?

- Well,

you have to pay like a 50 cent,

- Deposit to find out how much...

- Per toe,

right?

50 cent per toe,

yeah.

- Oh,

yeah.

- And then you can find out how much it is per month after that.

- It's like a trial.

- Oh,

sure.

Yeah,

yeah,

yeah.

That makes sense.

- I mean...

- Dippin' your toes in,

that's what we call it.

- Oh,

my God.

- [Laughter] - Oh,

just the feet.

- Oh,

it's so good.

- Yeah,

people are gross.

- I can't believe you talked her into this.

I can't believe she said yes.

Like,

I tried it like six months ago,

and she very nicely was like,

"I'm so busy." - I was like,

"That's the nice way people say to fuck off." - No.

I was like,

"I'll try it one more time," and she must have been drunk or something.

Actually,

it was your chat GPT invitation that got me.

- Oh,

yeah.

I did a Flex's wife style letter.

- It was like eight paragraphs long.

- I can't believe you read it.

- I did.

I read the whole thing.

I was like,

"To whom it may concern." Did it keep saying,

like,

"Mrs.

Tipsy Socks" or something like that?

No,

it just kept going on about your wit and your charm,

and I was like,

"Oh,

I'm sold." - Yeah,

I think the prompt was...

- I was like,

"Oh,

my God,

I am so witty,

and I am so charming." - Chat GPT knows me so well.

- [Laughter] It sounded very official,

and I was like,

"I don't quite know how to handle this,

so I guess I'll just say okay." I was like,

"Maybe if she thinks that we're,

you know,

professional and shit,

then it'll work out." - I've met you,

Greg.

It didn't make sense.

- [Laughter] - Well,

I was drunk when you met me,

so it's not the first time.

- Yeah,

you were sober when I met you the first time.

- That's right.

Sorry about that.

- I also apologize,

so...

I do my best not to be sober when I meet people for the first time.

I want to set a better impression than that.

- It helps.

- Yeah,

let me tell you.

- I thought you did great.

It's fine.

- In fact,

the first time we met,

I had my Flex Greg 2024 shirt on.

- You did.

I was thinking about that shirt today.

- Trying to spread the good word.

Vote for Flex and Greg.

It's an election year.

- That was a great shirt.

I liked it a lot.

That was clever.

- Brilliant idea.

Genius,

whoever made that shirt.

All right,

let's get into things.

We've got some booze news to talk to,

some beers to drink.

I have quite the recap from Lagerville,

and we're going to ask Steph some Utah beer questions,

because nobody knows what the fuck is going on out there,

so...

But let's kick some things off with hydrations.

I lost my phone.

All right,

I'm drinking from the old Tayvore.

It's been a hot minute since Tayvore coming in through here.

Blackstack Brewing's Pultabs.

Hazy pale.

It's a pretty dope-looking can for the two people who can see it besides me.

Not a video show.

If there's one thing that Flex knows,

Flex knows I love hazy pales,

and this is a hazy pale.

- Oh,

yeah.

Big fan.

- 6%,

a 3.98 on untapped,

with over 3,000 ratings,

so not too shabby,

they say,

from the brewery.

Hazy pale ale with mosaic,

strata,

and El Dorado.

Pull up!

Very long description.

- That sounded very official,

and bossy a little at the end,

but...

- Yeah,

well,

I'm officially bossy.

- That's okay.

- So on the schnoz,

I get a little of that tropical fruit coming through.

Maybe some,

like,

pineapple?

On the old tongue-jobber,

it's more bitter than it looks,

being a nice little hazy pale here,

but it's delicious.

It's very crisp,

more of that,

like,

pineapple-y...

can't quite...

citrus?

Like,

maybe like a grapefruity-type flavor?

- Okay.

- Anyways,

fairly soft,

especially for being a pale,

and very,

very crushable.

And at 6%,

you know,

you can have a few of these and still,

I don't know,

record a podcast later.

- And maybe read a news story or two without speaking Spanish.

- Yeah,

that won't happen.

- Yeah,

it'll...

- Do you just fall back into Spanish?

- It's like Ron Burgundy,

you know?

- Alright.

Yeah,

it really doesn't make any sense at all.

So anyways,

delicious.

So thank you to Blackstack.

This is tasty.

I'll take another 2 or 3.

see?

There it goes.

2 or 3 of these.

It's only 6%.

Alright,

like I said,

so much to get to.

We just got back from,

like,

as we record,

we got back today.

It's been a day of travel.

Fig Mountain Brewery out here does Lagerville every year.

Last year was our first one we went to.

We went with a gang,

Nick and Nicole.

Everybody knows Wiley from the Booze League,

whatever they call themselves these days.

This year,

Sandro from said Booze League joined us as well.

It was a fucking...

Oh,

Fontana Jim was there?

- That's cool.

- Yeah.

Steph,

I don't know if you know who Fontana Jim is,

but he's a very angry beer drinker.

Very angry.

- I do not know,

but his name sounds impressive.

- Do you know what Fontana is?

- No.

- Oh,

it's,

like,

the redneck area of California.

We call it "Fontucky." - Oh.

- I'm sure he'll love that I'm saying that.

But hung out with him,

and it rained like a motherfucker throughout the entire festival.

Do you guys have...

- I've seen the updates.

- Yeah,

I mean,

you guys live where weather happens,

unlike me,

so I'm not used to this.

Do you guys ever have,

like,

rainy beer festivals?

- Yeah.

Actually,

I went to one last year,

and we just got drenched.

It was so much fun,

because by the time you're drunk and you're just,

like,

playing in the rain,

it's great.

- Well,

most of our festivals have to be in the summer,

too,

so if it does rain,

it's not a terrible thing.

- Yeah,

because it's kind of warm.

- Yeah,

I think that's the same here.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

We out here in California,

especially Southern California,

don't know what weather is like,

and so as it got closer and it was definitely going to rain,

they were posting almost daily updates,

like,

"Yes,

we promise this event is rain or shine.

No refunds,

you little California bitches." Like,

it is going to happen.

And so,

look,

we were prepared.

We had raincoats and ponchos,

and we wore clothes we didn't give a shit about,

and whoever had rain shoes wore rain shoes,

and I was like,

"All right,

you know what?

We're going to go.

We're going to get wet,

but we're going to get drunk,

so it's going to be fun." It was relentless.

It was so,

like,

the first hour was fun,

like,

"Ah,

we're in the rain.

We're drinking beer.

How funny for California." It got so cold after that first,

like,

the wind picked up.

They had told us ahead of time,

"We're going to have more tents out so everybody can get dry and get warm.

We're going to put heaters..." They had one more tent than usual,

and they had two little tiny heaters where people were,

like,

having orgies to get to.

Oh,

jeez.

You guys got pounded.

Oh,

yeah.

Is that what you're saying?

By rain.

Yeah,

I'm still sitting on a donut.

It was awful.

The streets,

like,

so they lined the streets with breweries in the little tents,

and those gutters flooded so bad that,

like,

they were having to move into the middle of the street and just,

like,

walk their tents in and stuff because they were getting flooded out from behind.

That sounded dirty.

It was awful.

They should have fucking canceled the thing.

I don't know.

I don't know what else to say other than it was miserable.

We were so cold and wet and not fun.

Damn with flex.

When it rains here,

it's,

like,

nice.

Was the beers good at least?

Did you even pay attention,

you know,

because it was so shitty or what?

We had some great beers.

You know,

it's all lagers,

which is always kind of fun.

You could have two or 90 and not get as hammered as you would.

That's what I don't like about going to,

the Firestone Invitational,

because,

like,

everyone brings their big barrel age beers that day.

It's like,

hey,

it's 95 minimum,

and you guys are bringing out your 28 percenters.

Nobody wants this shit.

We're a logger.

Really?

You can go and have some lager all day long.

Well,

it's like Kentucky.

They do this bourbon festival.

I know not a bourbon show,

but they do a bourbon festival where they have,

like,

55 distilleries out there sampling,

you know,

whatever.

It's like a six-hour event.

How many bourbons are you getting through?

Three?

Like,

before you're just like,

I can't go on any longer.

Yeah.

Tell my kids I love them.

Right.

It's like you're supposed to start tasting it like wine,

like,

swish the bourbon in your mouth and just spit it out.

Yeah.

Now,

that's going to be a pass for me.

And I don't dislike bourbon.

I just,

that's a lot of booze.

I like bourbon,

but that's a lot.

It's not an all-day drinker,

you know?

It's just not.

No.

All-day drinking will send you somewhere else.

So,

yeah,

that was,

oh,

this was weird.

They had some vendors at the beer festival.

I'm glad I made myself notes,

because I forget half the shit.

One of the vendors was Cutco,

like the knife company.

Like,

what the fuck is Cutco doing here?

Well,

imagine how many times people have been drunk at home and they ordered random shit.

So now,

it's like,

oh,

you go out there,

you get shit-faced,

and you're like,

holy shit,

I need new knives.

You know what?

That's smart.

This couldn't be any more perfect.

Absolutely.

I have so many drunk purchases in my life,

it's not even funny.

And the best is when I don't remember them until they show up.

And then it's like I bought myself a surprise.

You were blaming your husband?

Like,

what did you order?

No.

No,

he does not order me things,

he orders him things,

but I am like,

oh,

I don't remember ordering six phone cases,

but I guess I couldn't pick one.

How many phones do you have?

One.

Don't even own a gun,

let alone enough guns to cost an entire gun rack.

What am I going to do with a gun rack?

How it feels.

Kind of,

yeah.

That was brilliant.

Well,

thanks to Fontana Jim for taking us home in the rain,

because we didn't have to walk back.

Oh,

Sandro,

I almost forgot.

Sandro got so hammered that Wiley had to leave early,

and like,

Uncle Bernie,

or Weekend at Bernie's them,

the way back to where we were staying,

had him over his shoulder.

Buelton is a very flat city,

not a lot of hills within the city of Buelton,

especially where the festival was.

Sandro found the one hill that there was to fall down three times.

We thought he was kind of making this up,

or like,

over-exaggerating the next day.

He just pulled down his pants and showed us his bruises.

I was like,

oh my God,

like,

he was not joking.

Dude was fucking bruised up.

So,

yeah,

that's what happens when you pre-game a beer festival.

A lot of people do that.

It's not the greatest idea.

Really?

Yes.

I don't.

I wouldn't.

Yeah,

I know.

It's mind-boggling.

Yeah,

I'm bad enough just at the beer festival.

I don't need help getting that shittered.

We came back,

we dried off.

If anything,

pre-gaming would be like,

eat some pizza.

Right.

Something absorptive.

Boy,

this show just got real sciency,

I tell you.

I think that's the slogan for bounty,

right?

Real absorptive.

No longer the quilted picker-upper.

Oh,

that is more absorbent-y than that.

Exactly.

You can have that one for free,

Bounty.

Thanks.

Came back,

made some food.

There's a bar on site.

So,

we had enough beer.

We went to the bar after,

had more beer.

Oh,

a bunch of the brewers walked in and were hanging out right behind us.

And at one point,

I guess,

one was farting a lot.

And I was on the opposite side of the table.

Sandro straight up looks at them and just goes,

hey,

would you go take a shit already?

I was like,

oh my God,

we're getting in a fight tonight.

Luckily,

they didn't hear him.

Oh,

man.

And then the next day was much classier.

We went wine tasting.

That is classy.

Yeah.

Our livers had not had enough of use yet.

Would you get all wine drunk?

I actually,

I kept it together.

Nick,

on the other hand,

pretty wine drunk.

Wiley was pretty wine drunk.

Coley was pretty wine drunk.

What they say,

go big dick Nick or go home.

Yeah.

And he very much did.

Oh,

man.

And that's about it.

Craft Brewers Conference starts in Vegas this weekend.

Anybody going to Vegas for this thing?

No.

I was supposed to go and I keep getting shit about it,

but I'm not.

Oh,

you're supposed to go.

Well,

I had a pass for what I do for a sort of living,

but yeah.

No,

Vegas is not my favorite place.

I go there a few times a year,

but I just didn't want to add one more trip to Vegas to my life.

I don't know about you.

I have a max on Vegas,

like two and a half days.

I usually go to Punk Rock Bowling and it is four days in Vegas and I almost die and I just can't.

I'm not going this year.

My family and my friends are giving me shit about it,

but I'm like,

you guys,

I can't.

Four days in Vegas is like...

It's too many days.

It's a lot.

Ugh,

it's exhausting.

And we're getting to that age where it's just like,

don't recover like I used to.

I'm pretty sure I'm twice as old as both of you put together,

so...

There's no way.

Like 130.

I can guarantee I live older than you.

Yeah,

that's true.

Flex is usually in bed by now.

Yeah,

my bedtime is a ripe 820.

Listen,

Flex,

usually about 845,

I'm like,

all right,

my bedtime routine,

my anti-wrinkle routine takes about 27 minutes,

so let's start now.

Good Lord,

that's way too long.

Wow.

Flex,

how long does your anti-wrinkle routine take?

Look at all the wrinkles on my forehead.

I ain't got none.

Not long enough?

No.

No,

it's perfect.

No routine.

No,

it's not perfect.

Well,

when you raise your eyebrows like that,

come on.

Well,

that's how you get the wrinkles.

There you go.

Well,

if you're out in Vegas,

look out for a bunch of white people with beards.

I'm sure they'll be roaming the city drunk and looking for more loggers or things with adjuncts in them.

That's what happens at those things,

I think.

All right,

Steph,

answer me some Utah questions.

Okay.

Oh,

I knew this was coming.

When I agreed to do this,

I was like,

Greg's going to ask me Utah liquor law questions.

Is it true that they can't sell beer over 4%?

No,

not true at all.

So the law is that you can't have anything on draft over 5%,

which kind of sucks,

but you can still drink it.

You just have to drink it out of a can or a bottle.

So it's really bass-ackwards because I think they're trying to get you to drink less,

but what happens is you drink more because now I'm buying a 16-ounce can of like a 13% stout,

when if you just had it on draft,

I'd have like a four-ounce pour.

So you can still get it.

You just can't have it on draft.

But you can drink it on site,

like on premise,

just not from a draft.

Correct.

So when you go to a brewery,

if you want like a 13% stout...

Do they can pour it or do you just get the can?

They can pour it.

So you can't take it with you.

I mean,

you can buy beer to go,

but when you're in the tap room,

they can pour it.

So yeah,

you can still drink it,

but you're getting the whole damn thing.

Can I get a lid,

please?

You know what else is really crappy is you can re-cork your wine and take it with you if you don't finish it,

but you can't take your unfinished beer,

which makes no sense.

Well,

wine is classy.

That's...

That's why.

Because classy people don't do dumb things.

Right.

That's not true.

I wouldn't know I'm not classy.

They're just...

I feel like they're just classy enough to get away with it.

Is that what it is?

It's what it is,

yeah.

Like imagine I'm doing something stupid and a cop's like,

"Oh,

what are you doing?" And I'm like,

"Hey,

look at my re-corked wine bottle.

Oh,

shit.

Oh,

shit." I tip my cap to you.

You guys are classy as fuck.

You better get out going.

You must have been in Utah,

yeah.

You nailed it.

Flex sounds like he speaks from experience.

Is it illegal to buy drinks at a restaurant...

Illegal to buy drinks at a restaurant if you're not also buying food?

Do you have to buy food?

So there's a different classification.

So you can go to a bar or a brewery or you can go to a restaurant.

So if you're at a restaurant and you're drinking,

you do have to buy food.

If you are at an establishment that you have to be 21 or older to enter,

you can buy a drink without buying any food.

So if you're at a place where they serve children as well,

you do have to buy food.

But most places are pretty cool about it.

They'll be like,

"Yeah,

you can get like a pretzel and share it or whatever." So,

yeah.

Don't buy these French fries.

Right.

Do they still do the Sunday thing where you can't buy booze on Sunday?

No.

Oh,

thank God.

No.

But the liquor stores here are all state-owned.

And so you can't...

They're closed on Sundays.

But you can go straight to the source.

So if you go to the distilleries and the breweries,

you can buy whatever strength alcohol you want.

Got it.

From them.

Do you not sell alcohol in grocery stores?

They do.

So it has to be 5% or below to buy it in a grocery store.

You have to go to a liquor store to get anything stronger than that.

Bring on that Michelob Ultra,

everybody.

We drink a lot of 5% beer here because we don't think about it till Sunday afternoon.

You're like,

"Shit." It's like,

well,

I had a buddy who went to school in Indianapolis,

and him and his buddies would drive to Cincinnati on Sundays just to go get beer.

They're like smoking the bandit.

Right?

Couldn't buy it there on Sundays.

Yeah,

I know that's the case in some places.

No,

it's not the case here.

I don't know if there are drag counties still here.

But if there are,

it's not anywhere near to where I live.

So I really don't care.

They still...

You don't have to do the whole club thing anymore,

right?

No,

that went away quite a few years ago.

Last time I was in Utah,

it was still a thing.

That's how long it's been.

It's been a long time.

15 years ago.

Yeah,

it's been...

When I first started drinking in my early 20s,

it was still a thing.

That was like five years ago.

Yeah,

right,

right,

right,

right,

right.

I forgot.

Yeah,

my buddy lived in Utah for a few years and I went out to visit him.

I mean,

like I said,

probably 15 years ago.

He had to do the club thing.

And also,

that was my first time I'd ever been in a state that had the whole Sunday thing going on.

And Saturday night,

we'd had a few and he goes,

"Oh,

we need to run to the liquor store." I was like,

"Why?" He goes,

"We need more beer." I was like,

"Dude,

we have plenty of beer for tonight." He goes,

"No,

we need more beer." I was like,

"I'm looking at a case of fucking Bud Light." This is how long ago it was.

"I think we're good." He goes,

"No,

you don't get it.

We need to stock up for tomorrow." I was like,

"Oh." Yeah,

no,

that's not the case anymore.

I mean,

it is a little extra work if you don't live close to a brewery.

Yeah,

this is way before breweries were cool.

Yeah,

when everybody was just drinking,

I don't know,

what?

Bud Light?

High Life Light.

Coors?

Yeah.

When High Life Light still existed.

Flex actually introduced me to the whole concept of High Life Light.

So I didn't know it existed.

What?

Because I love High Life,

but I didn't know there was a light.

I don't think I've ever had High Life Light either.

No,

but we did the story and there was one of the brands at Miller Coors discontinued.

And it was a sad day in my life.

Turns out a lot of people didn't know about High Life Light.

Maybe Flex was making it up.

It was like,

no,

they had the blue flag instead of the red,

or whatever,

the banner on the High Life.

It was blue instead of red.

Just trust me.

All right.

All right,

I'm going to believe this.

Because I feel like Flex- I'm from the source.

Flex seems like a fairly trustworthy human being.

Most of the time.

I thought you were going to say attractive there.

I don't know why.

I mean,

yeah.

That was just fishing.

Now I'm uncomfortable.

Bring your worms on this fishing trip,

bud.

But I live in Milwaukee.

They brew High Life here,

so you have to trust me.

I thought it was Milwaukee.

Yes,

that is how it's pronounced.

Actually,

it's pronounced Milwaukee.

Speaking of High Life- I thought you just had that.

Oh,

you got to have that one ready when Flex was around.

When we were doing our wine tasting over the weekend after Loggerville,

we went to the store to get some food.

And a few people in our party were already pretty shittered by this point.

Nick.

And after getting food,

and we've been drinking wine all day,

and we brought more wine to bring back and drink with the food we had bought.

He goes,

hold on.

He runs to the beer section.

He comes back with a case of High Life.

Nice.

We're all like,

what do you need that for?

It's a wine day.

It's a palate cleanser.

Yeah,

well,

he insisted.

And then had a few while he was cooking.

It's an all-around good.

You can use it to drink.

You can use it to cleanse your palate.

You can use it to like- Sober up.

Wash your hands.

I don't know.

It's good for the skin.

I thought you were going to say cook or something like that.

Oh,

nobody wants to taste that.

That's garbage.

Don't,

I don't know,

dishonor your steak by cooking with.

Yeah,

no.

No thanks.

Anyways.

All right.

You've answered all the questions.

You've earned yourself a beer.

Let's make a call to the pen to find out what you're drinking.

He calls to the bullpen for beer.

Or she does.

She,

I'm she/her.

Established.

Side note,

I did convince a creepy guy once that I used to be a dude.

That was fun.

So he'd been hitting on me for a while.

And I was like,

so don't you think they did a great job?

Like changing me.

And I said,

look at my broad shoulders.

Like that's a dead giveaway.

Cause I'm Samoan.

I do have broad shoulders.

I made him very uncomfortable,

but he still didn't.

He was like,

all right,

I persist anyway.

Wow.

Did you get his number?

No.

Like,

so anyways,

my husband over here.

Um,

I am drinking a,

uh,

DIPA.

I always want to say DIPA because I'm friends with Shred.

I don't know why people want to say DIPA.

It's because of Shred.

Shred always says DIPA.

It's a,

it's a DIPA.

That guy's from Philly.

Yeah.

I'm drinking an Ilofino from Red Rock Brewing in Salt Lake City.

They are one of Utah's oldest craft beer breweries.

So,

uh,

this is their flagship beer.

It's a favorite of mine.

Um,

it's an 8% if you like Pliny.

It's similar,

but better.

I just said that.

I'm going to get so much shit about that.

Hey,

as someone from California,

you're probably right.

I like Pliny.

I'm not going to lie,

but.

I do too.

It's a classic.

Yeah.

They do it right.

But you know what?

It's not the end-all be-all like some people treat it.

I agree.

Um,

they use some of the same hops in the Ilofino,

but I feel like it's,

it's a better beer for me.

It makes me very happy.

So,

uh,

what else would you like to know about it?

That's it.

It's good.

Drink it.

Oh,

untapped.

You want to know what the untapped?

Yeah,

sure.

Well,

then go look at yourself because I don't know.

Oh,

you got it.

I do not have an untapped.

I love it.

I'm addicted to earning badges that mean nothing.

So my liver was like,

don't,

don't go there.

Don't do that.

You don't need that shit in your life.

I haven't checked a beer in so long.

I think if it wasn't for pulling up scores to talk about on the show,

I'd probably get rid of mine too.

Intern Brian was giving me shit.

Cause he's one of those guys that like checks into every beer.

He's got something like 8,000 check-ins and like,

how many check-ins do you have?

I was like,

I don't know,

like 400.

And I was like,

yeah,

I was like 250.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I just had never,

like,

I never think to do it.

Um,

and then I've gone to bottle shares before,

you know,

where there's probably 40 to 50 different bottles and you got the couple of guys that are sitting on their phone.

Just every single one,

every single one,

every single one picture rating description.

It's just like,

that's true.

Your beer.

Like if we do a bottle share,

he just goes picture,

picture,

picture,

picture.

Checks them all in.

I'm like,

just drink it,

bud.

Right.

Just,

I used to do that.

But just,

just so that I could say,

I tried this,

this,

and this,

but now I'm like,

I had beer.

It was good.

That's all I remember.

And I'm drunk.

Good enough for me.

Yeah.

The liver liked it.

We're good.

Yeah.

I just like to enjoy myself.

I,

I do like the one thing I miss is if I gave it like whatever score and then I see that beer again in the wild.

I'm like,

oh,

did I like that beer?

I'm pretty sure I had it.

I go back like two.

I must really hated that Budweiser or whatever.

See,

and I'll check.

like a beer.

I'm about to buy.

And that will sometimes do the work for you.

Right.

Yeah.

So that'll sometimes let me help me decipher on whether or not I should or shouldn't get the beer.

That is smart.

I like that.

Or if a beer can says it's hazy.

I look to see if people had posted pictures of it to see if it as actually indeed hazy.

As advertised.

Yep.

Right.

So then if it isn't,

then I'm like,

this is going to be a piece of shit and I don't get it.

Right.

If it's going to be a juicy,

but not a hazy.

I want to know what I don't.

Yeah.

I want to know.

I want to know.

I want to know.

I will say this,

this particular can of beer I actually bought for shred.

Our friend shred who threw me under the bus the other day about Utah beer,

but he requests it all the time and I bought it for him and now I'm drinking it and that's what happens.

If you don't send it to him now.

Well,

it's too late now.

Unless he's willing to drink.

No,

it's too much,

too much.

Oh,

she went too far.

You know,

somebody's got to twice here.

Makes me look like an angel.

You are an angel.

Yeah.

Are you guys golf fans at all?

Any golf fans?

You know,

it's growing.

Watch the masters.

Watch a little bit of it.

Okay.

Steph,

any.

I'm distantly related to Tony Finau.

I don't even know who that is now.

Is that a golfer?

Yeah.

As you can see,

I'm not a golf.

I'm not either.

So that's about as close to golf as I get.

All right.

So the answer is no.

One step closer to me,

but I will say,

and we mentioned this when they released some of the prices for the masters,

uh,

the beer prices at the master of the weekend.

Crazy cheap for $66.

You could buy one of every item at the concession stand.

$66.

That's like one beer at daughter stadium.

How many items are at the concession stand?

Quite a few.

Do they only,

is it like in and out burger?

They only have three things on the menu,

but they have a secret menu.

Well,

I mean,

look at it like domestic beer,

import beer,

uh,

five bucks each wine,

$6 for a poor.

Really?

Yeah.

I mean,

they spent,

sorry,

specified white wine.

There's no red.

I don't know.

Against golf rules.

You know,

all the food was supposed to be really,

really cheap.

Food's crazy.

Egg salad sandwich,

$1.50 pimento cheese sandwich,

$1.50.

Cause no one wants the rice,

but pork barbecue sandwich.

Three bucks.

I heard that one.

Classic chicken sandwich,

three bucks.

The most expensive item on here is that glass of white wine for $6.

That's crazy.

I'm like,

I could become a golf fan for a bunch of $5 beers.

I'm impressed actually.

Yeah.

And whatever a crow's nest is,

that's five bucks.

That must be some sort of cocktail or something.

Maybe.

That's what I would assume as well.

Under the beverage section.

Oh,

well then yeah,

probably.

Well,

it's under the iced tea,

but above the domestic.

It's under miscellaneous.

Yeah.

It's just a take your chances kind of thing.

What is this?

Well,

for five bucks,

I'm about to find out.

It sounds kind of dirty.

Crow's nest.

It's like,

imagine being like the one person walking up to the concession center.

Like,

Hey,

I'm going to try this crow's nest.

And you just get this look of derision,

like grossed out person behind the counter.

He's like,

what the fuck's wrong with you?

Why would you order that?

We're going to ask you to leave.

It's just a Shirley temple with some grass in it.

It's fine.

Oh,

okay.

Funny you should say that.

It does have grenadine in it.

So it's not not alcohol.

It is six parts orange juice,

half teaspoon grenadine.

It says one piece egg the fuck and two parts cranberry juice and ice.

So there's no alcohol in it?

I guess not.

So it's like a like a rocky drink.

Yeah.

What the fuck is the whole egg thing?

That sounds awful.

Well,

I know a lot of cocktails are made with like egg white,

but that's weird.

That is super weird.

I'm trying to find like other recipes because that's just the first Google one.

I don't have time to keep Googling.

But if that's what it is,

anybody out there,

please,

Masters fans,

let us know what the fuck a crow's nest is.

That sounds like garbage.

I guess I could have done a research.

It's fine.

Yeah,

it's I did enough.

All right.

Let's get into a little news before we find out what Flexi's drinking over there.

True North Ale Company.

They had a patron that accidentally discharged his gun in the tap room.

Really?

Apparently so.

For Flex,

you just missed that.

They had a patron who accidentally discharged his gun in the tap room.

I saw that.

That was a big sneeze.

Did he shoot himself like that guy that was at Arby's a few years ago?

Oh,

just you wait.

A patron visiting Ipswich,

Massachusetts based True North Ale Company accidentally discharged his concealed handgun on the floor at the floor on Friday.

The man who shot himself when the gun discharged and a juvenile who was grazed by a piece of shrapnel went to the hospital for treatment.

According to the police department,

a third patron suffered a quote minor injury and refused additional treatment.

True North co-owners Gary and Jake Rogers,

who are father and son,

said the incident was due to irresponsible handling and there was no malicious intent.

Police iterated there was no threat to the general public.

The Rogerses wrote,

"Our vision has always been for the tap room to be a fun community and family gathering place,

be a safe place to relax,

should go without saying.

We are licensed gun owners ourselves,

yet we must insist that a place like our tap room is not a place for firearms." Agreed.

Yeah,

dude shot himself in the foot.

I mean,

you can buy a knife at a beer festival,

but you probably shouldn't bring a gun to a tap room.

Imagine planning a hangout with your friends and being like,

hey,

let's go to that one place.

Which one is that?

Oh,

the one the guy shot himself?

Oh,

yeah,

yeah,

yeah.

We'll go to that one.

I like that place." Now you're known as that establishment.

Right.

Or imagine being in his group of friends like,

"Hey,

which brewery did you want to go?

Oh,

the one that Harry shot himself at.

Let's go over there." "Hey,

remember that Harry?

Oh,

what an idiot." "Still on the floor,

don't he?

Yeah,

you stay on the floor.

Show the scar,

show the scar." The worst is when they talk to someone else and they're like,

"Did you hear about that guy?" And they're like,

"Oh,

I was there.

That's my buddy." "There's still a little blood on the floor,

guy.

Yeah,

what an idiot." My stepsister,

she's a physician's assistant.

During her medical training,

she was working in some not great areas.

Somebody came in and had been shot in the foot and they insisted that they had been shot while riding their bike.

But after lots of prodding and questioning,

it finally came out that they had a gun in their pocket while riding their bike and shot themselves in the foot.

"There's a safety there for a reason." "Yeah,

that's not cool though.

Safeties are for losers." "Safety is no accident,

folks." "Yeah,

come on." "Ridiculous." "Yeah,

keep your firearms in that tap room.

All right,

before we hit any more news stories,

let's find out what Flexi's drinking over there.

"In a world where craft beer is king." "Something classy,

I'm sure." "A world where muscles are bigger than growlers.

Only one tongue can guide us.

One man.

One tongue." "One tongue jobber.

In this world,

we must find out.

What is Flex drinking?" "Hit me,

hit me." "Well,

keeping it classy as I always do,

I went out golfing today." "Oh,

that's Mulligan Mondays." "Oh,

golf." "Well,

but I went real golfing." "Oh,

you went real golfing." "Real golfing,

yes.

So I had myself some golf beers and grabbed a 12-pack of this delicious Leinenkugel's Summer Shandy.

We're gonna read some untapped ratings on this because it's just really funny to me.

4.2%,

14 IBUs,

a collective,

Greg,

3.52." "Not as bad as I thought it'd be." "This is a banger,

all right?

This is a total local banger,

297,800 check-ins." "Oh,

my." "That's a lot." "I've had a few." "Me too,

and I didn't even check them in." "Let me tell you,

72 degrees,

nothing but sun,

slight breeze in the air,

hitting the Lynx,

these puppies go down like water." "That sounds like heaven,

honestly." "Oh,

it was phenomenal." "Minus the part where you have to watch me play golf,

but yeah." "You know what?

It was not a banner day for Flex on the Lynx.

And yes,

I just love calling them the Lynx." "Feel classy." "But yeah,

honestly,

I haven't felt more Wisconsin than I did today in a while." "Hitting the Lynx with a kugel." "Hitting the Lynx with some linies,

some summer shanties.

Next thing,

I got to hit up a ball game and crank some of these guys." "Quite the day." "Let's have goals." "Let's go.

Let's just get it." "It sounds like you got it." "I did.

So yeah,

I just wanted to christen the show with a little shanty." "I like it." "No,

you go." "I was going to say it's surprisingly the first time he's had one on the show." "Yeah,

I actually think it is." "It's a banner day.

You popped your linen kugels cherry." "On the show.

I mean,

I've been drinking with you guys for years.

I'm sorry.

How do we say those again?" "I can't.

That's the problem.

Linen kugels?" "Your German is fantastic." "It's like her mouth gets glued together." "There's so many letters.

Give me a five-letter word.

This is ridiculous." "You Google-izer." "I know what a Google-ie is." "What it sounds like over there.

All right,

a little more news before we wrap things up.

Good news,

everybody.

Easter results are in." "I've been waiting." "Yeah,

I know.

It happened.

Three eggs were found.

Now,

the beverage alcohol category got a 10% boost versus the previous week,

which just further proves my point.

You must drink if you're hanging out with family." "Agreed." "Yeah,

it helps a lot." "Or you have those hard work weeks that lead right up to it,

to the holiday.

And then those drinks after the long work week,

that really hits." "Those linies hit just a little bit harder." "Wow.

You know,

you got to." "I mean,

the word 'shandy' alone just makes it feel like a holiday.

Like,

I had a rough week.

I need a shandy,

like a party." "Here,

me and my best bud,

we call it shandying some shandies." "Pretty Wisconsin,

aren't you?" "Right?

You're going to go beer some beers.

Nah,

in the summer,

you shandy some shandies.

This is what you do." "I'm going to make everything a verb from now on." "Yeah,

I mean,

it makes whatever you're talking about sound so much more fun." "What are you doing today?

I'm going to shandy some stuff,

and then I might bud light some things.

I don't know." "I'm going to laundry some laundries.

I don't know.

We'll see.

We'll see what the day brings." "Oh,

the world is your oyster.

That is for sure." "Eight people were charged in a Constellation brand train robbery.

Have you guys heard about this?" "No.

What's a Constellation?

What is that?" "1899 or something?" "Yeah." "What year is it?" "Yeah,

let me reread this.

All right,

what do you say?

Eight people were charged in a Constellation brand train robbery.

Local outlaws,

Jesse James and the gang,

took 22 Skadoo." "I can't even join in.

I'm just a singer." "You catch your breath.

Constellation brands,

you know,

like the makers of,

what was it?

Corona,

you know,

the beer brand Constellation,

or the distributor,

whatever they are.

Anyways,

an eight-person crew has been indicted over this with several charges stemming from dozens of beer thefts throughout the Northeast,

according to a press release from the U.S.

attorney.

The defendants are accused of breaking into rail yards and distributors in New York,

Connecticut,

New Jersey,

Massachusetts.

They primarily targeted Constellation brands wholesalers because the company ships its beer,

Modelo Corona Pacifica,

by train from Mexico into the U.S.

The beer theft enterprise,

as the SDNY dubbed them,

allegedly committed the heist between July 22 and March of 24.

Under cover of night,

defendants gathered in the Bronx to travel to a rail yard or distributor." They synchronize their watches too.

"Where they gained unauthorized access by cutting a hole in the fencing surrounding the location." Right?

This is some like,

I don't know if it's Mission Impossible or like Butch Cassidy.

I don't,

either way.

It's like Seal Team Six meets Beer Ninjas or something.

Seal Team Six Pack.

Yeah.

Well played.

"After allegedly taking cases of beer from locked rail cars,

they loaded a waiting vehicle,

frequently a U-Haul box truck,

and returned to the Bronx,

where the pallets were sold illegally.

The enterprise's alleged actions cumulatively..." Wow.

I can't say words now.

"Cumulatively resulted in losses to certain..." Cumulatively?

Yes.

"Certain..." I was like,

what is the word he's trying to say?

Made it worse.

"Cert beverage distribution companies of at least hundreds of thousands of dollars." So there was a markup on the Pacifica?

Well,

I guess when you get it for free,

anything's a markup at that point.

You know what?

They got to cover their expenses.

They're good criminals.

They give insurance to their employees and whatnot.

Well,

that's nice.

You know,

I didn't know all that stuff was transported on train.

Yeah,

neither do I.

What's weird is every time I've had a Modelo,

I was like,

"Wow,

this kind of tastes like train." You know?

So now it all makes sense.

Yeah.

Stuff runs a train on my liver.

Jose says...

I never want anything that tastes like train.

Whatever that tastes like.

"Jose Cesari,

the alleged leader of the group,

used Instagram to recruit new members with posts offering a guarantee that they'd make $100,000 plus in a month via the beer train method." Come on.

He was franchising.

Like those posts or the DMs you get where it's like,

"We would like to give you a free pair of sunglasses." Yeah.

Or...

A pallet of Modelo.

You pick.

All you need to do is send us $300 in Target gift cards.

And we will ship you a pallet of the worst beer you've ever had.

That's quite the heist.

That is pretty intense.

Must own all black attire.

Oh,

I'm in.

I'm going to shoo in.

Yeah.

And a little ski mask.

God,

I needed a job.

Yeah,

I do have one of those too,

I'm sure.

Probably somewhere.

Perfect.

You're in.

You're hired.

I need a job.

To join the group,

just send $500 in Target gift cards.

Oh yeah,

of all the beer they could be stealing,

much better.

All right,

let's take a trip to Florida and make fun of some politicians.

All right.

A Florida politician apologizes for trashing his hotel room.

George Riley,

Executive Director of the state GOP,

told the Tampa Bay Times,

"I will pay for any damages that were caused.

I apologize to the employees for my bad behavior." The apology

comes after being accused of being excessively drunk and

urinating and vomiting all over his hotel room last week.

So not like a rockstar trashing his apartment.

But way less cool.

Like grotesquely trashing his apartment.

Yeah.

Okay.

Like first time on vacation in 40 years.

Yeah.

His sister reached out to the Osekola...

I know how to say it,

but I can't think of it.

Yeah,

that place is county sheriff's department on Friday because

she was worried that she hadn't heard from her brother in

a week and knew he was traveling on business to kiss me.

She and her father told deputies that he suffers from a medical condition,

getting fucking hammered,

which was redacted in an incident report and needs to take medication.

Deputies went to the hotel where Riley's sister told them he was staying and spoke to a front desk associate and two managers.

They told the deputies that they refused to extend his stay in the middle of last week because of his excessive drinking and damage he'd caused to his room,

including broken electric blinds,

according to the incident reports.

He was hanging on them.

Yeah.

Up and down.

Very specific.

Or he didn't have the remote,

so he went to try to manually pull them down.

And then while he was there,

just pissed on the wall.

One hotel manager told deputies that Riley had bought so much alcohol from a store in the hotel that the manager had to order more.

That is an achievement.

Yeah.

After being denied his extension,

he packed up and left.

Using pings from his cell phone.

Now we're talking some secret agent shit.

Using pings from his cell phone,

deputies on Saturday located him at another area hotel where he's under the influence of alcohol.

Deputies examined him and determined that he didn't pose

a risk to himself or anyone else and didn't meet the

criteria to be forcibly committed for evaluation.

Just posed a risk to his hotel room.

Right.

Yeah.

Just look out for the corner of that room.

I think meeting the criteria to be evaluated in Florida is different.

It's bigger.

It's a lot.

They're like,

"He didn't have any cocaine or an alligator." Bath salts.

Yeah.

A lot of gray area.

Mostly gray.

It's Florida we're talking about here.

Yeah.

I thought I wanted to party with rock stars.

Apparently I want to party with politicians.

It gets real dirty.

They usually have the good stuff.

I guess they're classier.

They can afford it.

Just buckets of wine.

Yeah.

Do you think anything happened to this guy afterwards?

No.

No.

Oh God,

no.

Not a thing.

He's up for re-election.

It's for sure going to happen.

The cops just whispered in his ear,

"Hey man,

we just have to do this for the looks." It's all for the outfits.

And then when everyone went away,

they handed him back his re-corked bottle of wine and they're like,

"You're good.

You're good,

man.

Stay classy." Some Carlos Rossi.

Is that what it is?

Get the fuck out of here,

you scoundrel.

They gave him his box back with his wine in it.

The cap screws on.

It's fine.

Right.

Exactly.

Stelvin.

All right.

I think that's everything.

I'm going to hit some music.

I'm going to say,

"Hi,

Vanessa." Oh,

Vanessa.

And I'm going to say,

"Make sure you follow us all on the socials at CrappierRepublic @flexmeabore." Underscores in between.

And of course,

MissTipsySocks on the 'gram.

That's Miss_TipsySocks and OnlyToes.com.

I think that's everything.

Hey,

can we convince you to hang out next week?

Me?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

Let's do it.

Or have we scared you off with all of us?

No,

I don't scare easily.

All right.

Come back next week,

everybody,

where we will try our best to scare her off.

And Flex will have more lineys.

I think that's everything.

I hope everyone is staying very well hydrated.

And on that note,

good night,

everybody.