1 00:00:01,160 --> 00:00:04,942 I think I found the solution to my executive dysfunction. And 2 00:00:05,006 --> 00:00:07,878 I don't want to guarantee that this is going to work for everyone, but I 3 00:00:07,894 --> 00:00:10,886 want to share it with you because I'm having so much fun playing with this 4 00:00:10,918 --> 00:00:14,710 new concept. Hi, I'm Katie McManus, business strategist and money 5 00:00:14,750 --> 00:00:17,970 mindset coach. And welcome to the Weeniecast. 6 00:00:19,510 --> 00:00:23,142 I'm finding it's really changing how I do life 7 00:00:23,206 --> 00:00:27,038 and how I enjoy life and how I actually get done from my to 8 00:00:27,054 --> 00:00:30,644 do list. And so far, it's been pretty magical. So 9 00:00:30,732 --> 00:00:34,244 here's what it is. We're nixing the whole best 10 00:00:34,332 --> 00:00:38,180 self lingo. It's done. We're no 11 00:00:38,220 --> 00:00:41,644 longer thinking about our best selves. If you're a personal 12 00:00:41,812 --> 00:00:45,492 development junkie like I am, I guarantee you 13 00:00:45,516 --> 00:00:49,252 have several books on your bookshelf, if not like dozens, 14 00:00:49,436 --> 00:00:53,132 that will refer to your best self or your 15 00:00:53,196 --> 00:00:56,972 higher self as the, like, guiding spirits that you 16 00:00:56,996 --> 00:01:00,644 should be following. And I don't know about you, but whenever 17 00:01:00,732 --> 00:01:04,164 I think of my best self, I don't feel 18 00:01:04,252 --> 00:01:07,596 good. Like, my best self doesn't inspire 19 00:01:07,668 --> 00:01:11,300 me. It makes me feel so much shame about not being good 20 00:01:11,340 --> 00:01:14,840 enough. So let me tell you about my best self. 21 00:01:16,620 --> 00:01:20,220 My best self went to Harvard. She got straight as 22 00:01:20,300 --> 00:01:24,092 all through elementary school, middle school, high school, has maybe like 23 00:01:24,116 --> 00:01:27,660 a business degree or something. She owns a home in 24 00:01:27,700 --> 00:01:31,178 Cambridge, Massachusetts, has a super hot husband 25 00:01:31,314 --> 00:01:35,050 who's just ripped like Ryan Gosling ripped. They have a 26 00:01:35,090 --> 00:01:38,898 perfectly trained dog, which. How boring. She works out every single day. She 27 00:01:38,914 --> 00:01:42,610 eats salads every lunch, and she's super regimented 28 00:01:42,650 --> 00:01:45,962 in how she runs her life, and she never, never 29 00:01:46,026 --> 00:01:49,870 procrastinates. My best self is completely unattainable to me. 30 00:01:50,210 --> 00:01:53,790 My best self has circumstances in her life that I'm way past. 31 00:01:54,130 --> 00:01:57,138 It's not like I'm going back to elementary school, middle school, and high school at 32 00:01:57,154 --> 00:02:00,068 this point to get straight a so I can get into Harvard. That's not how 33 00:02:00,084 --> 00:02:03,492 it works. And also, the way she does life has never been a way that 34 00:02:03,516 --> 00:02:07,268 I could do life. I can't eat salads every single day. I 35 00:02:07,284 --> 00:02:10,436 really like bread and sandwiches and 36 00:02:10,468 --> 00:02:14,100 cheese. And every time I've tried to live a 37 00:02:14,140 --> 00:02:17,040 consistent routine for too long, I get bored 38 00:02:17,940 --> 00:02:21,560 and it loses its zhuzh for me. Whereas 39 00:02:22,020 --> 00:02:25,764 one particular participant of the Brave biz lab calls said, 40 00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:29,316 the goose loses its juice. And by the way, if you've never been to Brave 41 00:02:29,348 --> 00:02:33,104 Biz Labs, it is a free group coaching call that I do every fourth Friday 42 00:02:33,152 --> 00:02:36,776 of the month. I open it up to my whole community. It's absolutely 43 00:02:36,808 --> 00:02:40,340 free. You can show up and ask any question that's happening in your business. 44 00:02:40,640 --> 00:02:43,776 No judgment. There's no such thing as a stupid question on Brave 45 00:02:43,808 --> 00:02:47,600 Bizlab. And it's literally anything that comes up for you that 46 00:02:47,640 --> 00:02:50,536 keeps you from doing what you want to do in your business. And if you'd 47 00:02:50,568 --> 00:02:54,180 like to join one of these calls, then please go to weeniecast.com, 48 00:02:55,240 --> 00:02:59,000 brave biz Labs, 49 00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:02,840 and of course, that link is in the show notes. But anyway, back to why 50 00:03:02,880 --> 00:03:06,636 we're nothing playing with the best self anymore when we're referring constantly 51 00:03:06,668 --> 00:03:10,480 to our best self. We're thinking of someone who doesn't exist. 52 00:03:11,020 --> 00:03:14,420 We're thinking of an idealized version of ourselves who's absolutely 53 00:03:14,460 --> 00:03:17,836 perfect in every single way. And we all know that perfect doesn't 54 00:03:17,868 --> 00:03:21,440 exist, right? That person does not exist. 55 00:03:21,740 --> 00:03:25,188 And so when we try to live our lives to a standard 56 00:03:25,244 --> 00:03:28,668 that is based on someone who doesn't exist, guess what happens? 57 00:03:28,844 --> 00:03:32,100 We fail. And we fail again. And we fail again and we fail 58 00:03:32,140 --> 00:03:35,832 again until it just becomes like this cesspool 59 00:03:35,896 --> 00:03:39,576 of shame that we're constantly letting run our lives. And I've been 60 00:03:39,608 --> 00:03:43,240 there and I've done that and I have many t shirts from it. And it's 61 00:03:43,320 --> 00:03:47,120 not worth it. Because when you're running your life from your quote 62 00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:50,512 unquote best self, the thing that drives you is the 63 00:03:50,536 --> 00:03:54,144 shoulds. We are the shoulds. 64 00:03:54,272 --> 00:03:57,300 I should be doing this. I should be doing that. 65 00:03:57,800 --> 00:04:01,360 I should be doing this every single morning. I should have this 66 00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:05,092 already. And that's not helpful, especially for those of 67 00:04:05,116 --> 00:04:08,844 us with ADHD. We've been shooted our whole life by 68 00:04:08,972 --> 00:04:12,660 everyone in school. It's, you should be able to sit still. Why can't 69 00:04:12,700 --> 00:04:16,508 you? You should be able to do your homework. Why can't you 70 00:04:16,524 --> 00:04:20,340 sit down and do it? You should be able to focus in our first 71 00:04:20,380 --> 00:04:23,876 few jobs, or maybe even right now, it's, oh, you should be able to meet 72 00:04:23,908 --> 00:04:27,580 deadlines, you know, you should be able to focus in meetings. 73 00:04:27,620 --> 00:04:31,228 You should be able to respond to all the emails in a timely manner, to 74 00:04:31,244 --> 00:04:33,972 which I say no, Sharon, if you want me to respond to your email, don't 75 00:04:33,996 --> 00:04:37,700 give me a scary subject line. At least put an emoji in it. Come 76 00:04:37,740 --> 00:04:41,588 on. Even in keeping up our houses, even 77 00:04:41,644 --> 00:04:45,316 in doing our everyday routines, you know, you should be eating healthier. 78 00:04:45,388 --> 00:04:49,028 You should be tidying as you go, you know, you should fold 79 00:04:49,084 --> 00:04:52,200 your laundry, which, no, no, I refuse. 80 00:04:54,100 --> 00:04:57,560 So the best self model, like well intentioned, 81 00:04:58,150 --> 00:05:01,614 actually doesn't do anything for us, it actually sets us 82 00:05:01,662 --> 00:05:05,494 back because it makes us feel like we're already behind. And when we feel 83 00:05:05,542 --> 00:05:09,078 like we're already behind, guess what? Nothing we do from there 84 00:05:09,174 --> 00:05:12,730 matters because we're already behind. We've already failed. 85 00:05:13,590 --> 00:05:17,182 Right? And what happens when the thing that you're doing every day doesn't matter? 86 00:05:17,246 --> 00:05:21,046 You don't get any dopamine from it. And when you don't get any dopamine from 87 00:05:21,078 --> 00:05:24,856 it, you're basically constantly in a dopamine deficit, which 88 00:05:24,888 --> 00:05:28,176 means your executive dysfunction is going to be that much worse. 89 00:05:28,368 --> 00:05:31,960 So instead of turning to our best 90 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:35,696 self for inspiration, let's turn to something 91 00:05:35,768 --> 00:05:39,368 else. Let's turn to something better, something more enjoyable, something that we have 92 00:05:39,424 --> 00:05:42,768 far easier access to. And that is our 93 00:05:42,824 --> 00:05:44,300 favorite self. 94 00:05:46,760 --> 00:05:50,524 Your favorite self is so different from your best self. 95 00:05:50,672 --> 00:05:54,236 Your favorite self is the version of you that you 96 00:05:54,308 --> 00:05:57,924 are so excited to be in any 97 00:05:57,972 --> 00:06:01,660 moment of any day. I want you to think about your favorite self 98 00:06:01,700 --> 00:06:05,548 in friendship. You know, it really boils down to who do you want 99 00:06:05,564 --> 00:06:08,772 to be? Who do you want to show up? As for the people that you 100 00:06:08,796 --> 00:06:12,644 love? Your favorite self in romantic relationships, your 101 00:06:12,692 --> 00:06:16,244 favorite self at work, your favorite self with your pets, your 102 00:06:16,292 --> 00:06:19,764 favorite self with your bedtime routine. Your favorite 103 00:06:19,812 --> 00:06:23,196 self gets to show up to every aspect of your life and there's no 104 00:06:23,268 --> 00:06:27,044 prerequisite to becoming your favorite self in any given 105 00:06:27,092 --> 00:06:30,884 moment. Hell, I want you to imagine something simple like going to the grocery 106 00:06:30,932 --> 00:06:34,708 store. Who's your favorite version of yourself? Who goes to 107 00:06:34,724 --> 00:06:38,476 the grocery store? My favorite self who goes to the grocery store, 108 00:06:38,548 --> 00:06:41,612 has music on, is listening to music in her 109 00:06:41,636 --> 00:06:45,460 Airpods, is smiling at people, is really excited to see what 110 00:06:45,500 --> 00:06:48,974 produce is freshen. Takes her time to really think 111 00:06:49,022 --> 00:06:52,542 about what she wants to make for dinner and lunches for that week. 112 00:06:52,686 --> 00:06:56,502 You know, my favorite self picks out a treat for herself cause 113 00:06:56,526 --> 00:07:00,142 she deserves it. My favorite self loves making conversation 114 00:07:00,246 --> 00:07:04,062 with my cashier as they're checking out all my stuff. I love bagging 115 00:07:04,086 --> 00:07:07,766 for myself and there's like a bounce in my step when I'm being my 116 00:07:07,798 --> 00:07:11,390 favorite self at the grocery store. My not favorite self 117 00:07:11,470 --> 00:07:14,410 is the one that goes in distracted by something 118 00:07:14,890 --> 00:07:18,458 or frustrated with the bad drivers that I encountered 119 00:07:18,594 --> 00:07:21,978 on my way to the store. Which if you've ever been to Cape Cod in 120 00:07:21,994 --> 00:07:25,810 the summer, you understand it's miserable. My not favorite 121 00:07:25,850 --> 00:07:29,610 self gets frustrated when they're out of something that I really wanted 122 00:07:29,770 --> 00:07:33,522 instead of getting creative about how I can substitute for it and when I'm 123 00:07:33,546 --> 00:07:37,234 not being my favorite self, like without fail, I forget 124 00:07:37,282 --> 00:07:40,930 something. It's like I subconsciously know that I want a redo 125 00:07:40,970 --> 00:07:44,506 of how I was at the grocery store. And I'm not saying that favorite 126 00:07:44,538 --> 00:07:48,266 self doesn't forget stuff, but favorite self, like, figures out ways 127 00:07:48,298 --> 00:07:51,962 to work around it. I've been playing with this 128 00:07:51,986 --> 00:07:55,522 concept recently, and let me just give you an idea. Ooh, what am I gonna 129 00:07:55,546 --> 00:07:58,914 say next? Well, you'll have to keep listening to find out. But first, squirrel, 130 00:07:59,002 --> 00:08:00,830 squirrel, squirrel, squirrel. 131 00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:09,082 I've been playing with this concept recently, and let me just give you an idea 132 00:08:09,106 --> 00:08:12,898 of, like, how insane my life is right now. So I'm currently 133 00:08:12,954 --> 00:08:16,622 volunteering on two and a half different political campaigns, 134 00:08:16,806 --> 00:08:20,654 local to me, a state senator, and state rep, as well 135 00:08:20,662 --> 00:08:24,382 as our national senator. I'm running my business. I'm running the 136 00:08:24,406 --> 00:08:28,214 podcast. I'm starting a second business. I've just started 137 00:08:28,302 --> 00:08:32,006 a nonprofit, which I'm super excited to announce in a few weeks. Once everything's 138 00:08:32,038 --> 00:08:35,726 official, I am actively looking 139 00:08:35,798 --> 00:08:39,526 for a boring business to buy. I'm working on 140 00:08:39,558 --> 00:08:43,224 not one, not two, but three different books. I'm about 141 00:08:43,272 --> 00:08:46,340 to launch myself on a serious pr campaign 142 00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:50,008 for the nonprofit and for my work in 143 00:08:50,024 --> 00:08:53,584 ADHD. And of course, I'm trying to be a modern 144 00:08:53,632 --> 00:08:56,168 woman who has it all together. So I'm trying to meditate, and I'm trying to 145 00:08:56,184 --> 00:08:58,632 work out, and I'm trying to take my dog for a walk and train her 146 00:08:58,656 --> 00:09:02,144 and have fun with her and make sure that she feels loved because she's basically 147 00:09:02,192 --> 00:09:05,272 my child trying to spend time with loved ones. I'm trying to stay in touch 148 00:09:05,296 --> 00:09:09,048 with friends. All the things. Oh, and I'm trying to get eight 149 00:09:09,064 --> 00:09:11,912 to 9 hours of sleep every night. That is how insane my life is right 150 00:09:11,936 --> 00:09:15,604 now. And of course, like, under each one of those categories, 151 00:09:15,692 --> 00:09:19,492 there's a whole laundry list of that I have to do. And let me 152 00:09:19,516 --> 00:09:22,980 tell you, I have been in executive dysfunction on so 153 00:09:23,060 --> 00:09:26,836 much stuff for the last few months, and it wasn't 154 00:09:26,868 --> 00:09:30,540 until I started shifting into my favorite self that I actually started 155 00:09:30,580 --> 00:09:34,324 getting things done. When 156 00:09:34,372 --> 00:09:37,884 we look at our to do list and we think of prioritizing it from a 157 00:09:37,932 --> 00:09:41,588 should place again, it is shame based. 158 00:09:41,764 --> 00:09:45,240 We should be doing this, and if we don't do it, we're a failure. 159 00:09:45,700 --> 00:09:49,196 You know that either or is given to us a lot growing up as 160 00:09:49,228 --> 00:09:52,964 ADHD folks. And it's no wonder we talk to ourselves 161 00:09:53,012 --> 00:09:56,612 in that way. It's no wonder we should the crap out of 162 00:09:56,636 --> 00:10:00,108 ourselves. But when you look at your to do list from a point 163 00:10:00,164 --> 00:10:03,964 of what would I enjoy doing in this moment. It completely 164 00:10:04,012 --> 00:10:07,798 changes. You know, I started introducing this concept to my clients, and it 165 00:10:07,814 --> 00:10:11,118 was interesting. A few different clients have come up with this, but one in 166 00:10:11,134 --> 00:10:14,702 particular answered, okay, what? My favorite self only wants me to do jiu 167 00:10:14,726 --> 00:10:18,390 jitsu and like, eat this snack that I love, to which I 168 00:10:18,470 --> 00:10:22,062 asked, okay, cool, like, could you do jiu jitsu for 7 hours a day? 169 00:10:22,206 --> 00:10:26,046 And he said, absolutely not. I would die, you know? Cause that's a 170 00:10:26,078 --> 00:10:29,686 pretty intense workout. And could you eat that snack all day 171 00:10:29,718 --> 00:10:33,526 long without stopping? I said, no, no, no. Like, my stomach would explode. 172 00:10:33,598 --> 00:10:37,190 It would not be good. But I loved that he brought this up. I loved 173 00:10:37,230 --> 00:10:41,006 that his first instinct was, no. The favorite self can't 174 00:10:41,038 --> 00:10:44,806 be trusted because the favorite self wants me to do stuff that is not 175 00:10:44,838 --> 00:10:48,630 productive, quote unquote productive. But I actually think that the favorite 176 00:10:48,670 --> 00:10:52,206 self is the most trustworthy version of ourselves that we have. Our 177 00:10:52,238 --> 00:10:55,782 favorite self. And I'll use this client as an example. 178 00:10:55,926 --> 00:10:59,512 His favorite self wants him to get exercise before he starts work. His 179 00:10:59,536 --> 00:11:02,816 favorite self wants him to be well fed 180 00:11:03,008 --> 00:11:06,848 before he starts something. Right. Once he goes to 181 00:11:06,864 --> 00:11:10,616 a jiu jitsu class and goes and has one of these snacks, what 182 00:11:10,648 --> 00:11:14,336 will his favorite self want to do next? This individual that I'm thinking 183 00:11:14,368 --> 00:11:17,912 of, you know, his favorite self got him to sign up for BYOB, my build 184 00:11:17,936 --> 00:11:19,380 your own business group program. 185 00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:26,278 His favorite self knows the work that he wants to do, 186 00:11:26,334 --> 00:11:30,086 knows that he doesn't want to stay in his job, knows that 187 00:11:30,118 --> 00:11:33,450 he can have a major impact on his clients lives 188 00:11:34,190 --> 00:11:37,886 if he just stops being a weenie and goes 189 00:11:37,918 --> 00:11:41,678 for it, which, this person is really, really brave and 190 00:11:41,694 --> 00:11:45,366 they're doing an incredible job. They've already signed, I think, two high paying 191 00:11:45,398 --> 00:11:48,450 clients in their second month of BYOB. 192 00:11:50,030 --> 00:11:53,742 You know, we have this innate distrust of our favorite self, thinking 193 00:11:53,766 --> 00:11:57,026 that our favorite self only wants us to go and do, like, the quote unquote 194 00:11:57,058 --> 00:12:00,666 fun things. But like, yeah, of course our 195 00:12:00,698 --> 00:12:04,514 favorite self wants us to go and do the fun things. You know, the fun 196 00:12:04,602 --> 00:12:08,362 things are things that give us dopamine. There are 197 00:12:08,386 --> 00:12:12,226 things that make life that much more enjoyable. You know, I don't know about 198 00:12:12,258 --> 00:12:15,506 you, but when I do something really enjoyable and fun in the 199 00:12:15,538 --> 00:12:18,602 morning, like maybe go and have breakfast with 200 00:12:18,626 --> 00:12:22,178 girlfriends or take a really fun exercise class, 201 00:12:22,314 --> 00:12:26,120 or I, like, have a really, really sweet, like, play session 202 00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:29,180 with my puppy, I bounce into my day. 203 00:12:29,720 --> 00:12:33,376 I have, like, this really, really buoyant energy that 204 00:12:33,408 --> 00:12:37,144 carries me through every task I have to do that day 205 00:12:37,312 --> 00:12:40,888 versus me being my best self, where I feel like I've 206 00:12:40,904 --> 00:12:44,360 shouldered myself all morning and still not met the 207 00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:48,128 standard. I start my day feeling behind. I 208 00:12:48,144 --> 00:12:51,974 start my day feeling less. We don't trust our favorite self 209 00:12:52,022 --> 00:12:55,210 because growing up, our world told us 210 00:12:55,670 --> 00:12:59,414 that this isn't all fun and games, that life 211 00:12:59,462 --> 00:13:01,758 has to be serious, that we have to get stuff done, that we have to 212 00:13:01,774 --> 00:13:05,502 sit down and focus, that we have to be quiet, especially if you 213 00:13:05,526 --> 00:13:08,982 were disruptive in the classroom like I was. I was a big 214 00:13:09,006 --> 00:13:12,742 talker. It's one of the reasons why the more work I do 215 00:13:12,766 --> 00:13:16,356 on ADHD and the more clients I work with and 216 00:13:16,548 --> 00:13:19,680 the more stories I hear from clients about their childhoods, 217 00:13:20,180 --> 00:13:23,892 the more I believe there has to be a different educational structure 218 00:13:23,956 --> 00:13:27,540 for ADHD people growing up that's more 219 00:13:27,580 --> 00:13:30,680 supportive of how our brains work, how our chemistry works, 220 00:13:31,020 --> 00:13:34,852 because how the educational system is set up right now gets us 221 00:13:34,876 --> 00:13:38,092 completely out of touch with our favorite self. It sows 222 00:13:38,156 --> 00:13:41,480 distrust between us and our favorite self. 223 00:13:42,100 --> 00:13:45,468 It teaches us that our favorite self is this irresponsible, 224 00:13:45,604 --> 00:13:48,820 flippant, awful, kind of, like, lazy 225 00:13:48,860 --> 00:13:52,204 person who shouldn't be allowed to drive the bus. But 226 00:13:52,252 --> 00:13:55,868 actually, when we let our favorite self drive our bus, 227 00:13:55,924 --> 00:13:59,236 our favorite self knows exactly how we need to 228 00:13:59,268 --> 00:14:02,932 do what we need to do. You know, in prepping for 229 00:14:02,956 --> 00:14:06,668 this episode, I was talking with my producer, Neil, and we 230 00:14:06,684 --> 00:14:10,372 were talking about, can I out you? Of course. And we were talking about our 231 00:14:10,396 --> 00:14:14,180 favorite selves and, like, the things that they want us to investigate. And he was 232 00:14:14,220 --> 00:14:18,068 talking about how he just went down this rabbit hole on ghost hunting 233 00:14:18,204 --> 00:14:21,636 and how, like, he had. He just spent hours 234 00:14:21,788 --> 00:14:25,636 researching different methodologies and different haunted dwellings and all this 235 00:14:25,668 --> 00:14:29,388 stuff, and he was so interested. And as we were talking through the favorite self 236 00:14:29,444 --> 00:14:33,250 paradigm, he was saying, you know, if I had been given this lens 237 00:14:33,420 --> 00:14:36,942 to study history, I would have aced every single history 238 00:14:37,006 --> 00:14:40,758 test. And how true is that? Think about it. Like, 239 00:14:40,854 --> 00:14:44,646 how. Like, what is the thing that interests you most? And 240 00:14:44,678 --> 00:14:48,262 how could it have been applied to help you learn something 241 00:14:48,326 --> 00:14:48,930 better? 242 00:14:53,350 --> 00:14:57,014 Like, I'm convinced that if they had related math to either 243 00:14:57,062 --> 00:15:00,632 money or knitting, I would have picked up math 244 00:15:00,776 --> 00:15:04,528 way quicker. I would have had less struggles. I would 245 00:15:04,544 --> 00:15:07,944 have found ways to learn that not 246 00:15:07,992 --> 00:15:10,952 only gave me a deeper understanding of the 247 00:15:10,976 --> 00:15:14,696 concepts, but also useful for the hobbies that I was 248 00:15:14,728 --> 00:15:18,392 really curious about, you know, making money and knitting. The 249 00:15:18,416 --> 00:15:22,200 cool thing about shifting into your favorite self is it can happen at any 250 00:15:22,240 --> 00:15:25,936 moment. There was a moment this 251 00:15:25,968 --> 00:15:29,608 week where I was looking at my miles long to do list with all 252 00:15:29,664 --> 00:15:33,268 these massive projects that I'm currently working on. And as you can 253 00:15:33,284 --> 00:15:36,760 imagine, I got super overwhelmed, and I couldn't prioritize, and 254 00:15:37,060 --> 00:15:40,844 I felt myself kind of shrinking back and thinking about all 255 00:15:40,852 --> 00:15:44,564 the shoulds. We are the shoulds. 256 00:15:44,652 --> 00:15:46,868 Like, I should be working on this, and I should be working on this. And 257 00:15:46,884 --> 00:15:50,564 they're all competing. They all seem important and urgent. And I stopped myself, and I 258 00:15:50,572 --> 00:15:54,188 was like, okay, cool. Like, let's touch base with my favorite self. What does my 259 00:15:54,204 --> 00:15:58,002 favorite self think? We need to spend some time on the. And my 260 00:15:58,026 --> 00:16:01,750 favorite self stopped me in my tracks and was like, 261 00:16:03,090 --> 00:16:04,950 and not just your desk. Like, 262 00:16:07,250 --> 00:16:11,010 that has made the room cluttered. And go 263 00:16:11,050 --> 00:16:14,770 and spend ten minutes just putting stuff in a garbage bag. Just 264 00:16:14,850 --> 00:16:18,306 get it out of here. You don't have to clean, but just get the clutter 265 00:16:18,378 --> 00:16:21,378 out. And so I did that, and it took about five minutes. And then I 266 00:16:21,394 --> 00:16:25,092 noticed, oh, there's a lot of mugs up here. There's a lot of mugs 267 00:16:25,196 --> 00:16:28,748 and cups up here in my office because they tend to just collect. You 268 00:16:28,764 --> 00:16:32,452 know, I don't know if you have this experience, like, your flavor of 269 00:16:32,476 --> 00:16:36,036 ADHD. It's like, once you're done with something, it ceases to 270 00:16:36,068 --> 00:16:39,900 exist to you. So, like, once I finish drinking 271 00:16:40,060 --> 00:16:43,640 coffee out of this mug, the mug will just not exist. 272 00:16:44,140 --> 00:16:47,004 Like, it doesn't need to be taken back to the kitchen to be put in 273 00:16:47,012 --> 00:16:50,376 the dishwasher because it no longer is there. It, in my 274 00:16:50,408 --> 00:16:53,832 mind, its usefulness to me in this moment is 275 00:16:53,856 --> 00:16:57,504 done. So why would I? It's one of the reasons I think also we 276 00:16:57,552 --> 00:17:00,500 are really bad at, like, closing drawers and cupboards 277 00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:04,544 because we've gotten the plate out of the cupboard. Like, what do we need to 278 00:17:04,552 --> 00:17:08,384 do with the cupboard then? You know, we got the socks out of the drawer. 279 00:17:08,552 --> 00:17:12,336 That was it. Like, there's no next step. You just needed 280 00:17:12,368 --> 00:17:16,078 socks. Like, the drawer being open and needing to close, not a thing. 281 00:17:16,264 --> 00:17:20,058 My favorite self, you know, had me gather up all the mugs and all 282 00:17:20,074 --> 00:17:23,322 the cups and take them down to the kitchen. And I realized, oh, the dishwasher 283 00:17:23,346 --> 00:17:27,066 is full of clean stuff. Put those things away. I loaded up the dishwasher with 284 00:17:27,098 --> 00:17:30,746 some things, gave the dogs a treat, and then came back. My favorite 285 00:17:30,778 --> 00:17:34,378 self knew exactly what I wanted to work on first. And it was 286 00:17:34,434 --> 00:17:38,190 the thing that was most urgent, 287 00:17:38,490 --> 00:17:41,470 that had the highest priority, that had the most important, 288 00:17:41,820 --> 00:17:45,428 and I was able to start without that shame looming 289 00:17:45,484 --> 00:17:49,092 over me, without that should. Without that expectation of how it should have 290 00:17:49,116 --> 00:17:52,852 gone. And since I've shifted into this favorite self 291 00:17:52,916 --> 00:17:56,308 way of doing life. I 292 00:17:56,484 --> 00:18:00,252 have not struggled with executive dysfunction. The only 293 00:18:00,316 --> 00:18:04,132 reason I have not gotten things done since shifting into favorite self is 294 00:18:04,156 --> 00:18:07,812 because I just kind of run out of time. You know, I'm realizing just how 295 00:18:07,876 --> 00:18:11,630 unrealistic I am in assigning work to myself. And as I spend 296 00:18:11,670 --> 00:18:15,502 more time with my favorite self, I realize how much of 297 00:18:15,526 --> 00:18:19,182 her I already am. And as I realize how much of my 298 00:18:19,206 --> 00:18:22,998 favorite self I already am, my confidence levels grow. 299 00:18:23,174 --> 00:18:26,702 I stop questioning myself at every 300 00:18:26,766 --> 00:18:30,374 front about, oh, well, should I do this? And should I do that? I know. 301 00:18:30,462 --> 00:18:32,686 I know what I need to do and I know what I want to do. 302 00:18:32,838 --> 00:18:36,264 I know who I want to be in every moment. 303 00:18:36,422 --> 00:18:39,804 And it's not based on who I need to mirror 304 00:18:39,972 --> 00:18:43,684 to pass as normal, to pass as neurotypical. You 305 00:18:43,692 --> 00:18:47,292 know, something that those of us with ADHD, especially 306 00:18:47,396 --> 00:18:50,428 those of you who are diagnosed late, I was lucky enough, I was very lucky 307 00:18:50,444 --> 00:18:54,084 to be diagnosed early on in my life. Something that we 308 00:18:54,172 --> 00:18:57,900 are raised to do for our own well being, for our own 309 00:18:57,940 --> 00:19:01,400 safety. But when we're mirroring everyone else 310 00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:05,360 person we're not being is ourselves. And when we spend that much 311 00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:09,104 time not being ourselves, it's really hard to be confident in who we are. 312 00:19:09,272 --> 00:19:12,688 It's really hard to be confident in what it is that we want to do. 313 00:19:12,744 --> 00:19:16,384 And I think that's one of the reasons why it takes people so long sometimes 314 00:19:16,432 --> 00:19:19,864 to realize that they want to start a business because they spend so 315 00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:23,592 little time actually being themselves and 316 00:19:23,616 --> 00:19:27,224 thinking about what they want, that it can take years, if not 317 00:19:27,312 --> 00:19:31,102 decades for that deep want of starting a business, running 318 00:19:31,126 --> 00:19:34,958 a business, having real impact on the world, and having the freedom and 319 00:19:34,974 --> 00:19:38,470 flexibility that comes with it. It takes so long for that 320 00:19:38,510 --> 00:19:42,302 message to come through and for it to come through strong enough for them 321 00:19:42,326 --> 00:19:46,126 to actually get started. So I'd love to 322 00:19:46,158 --> 00:19:49,782 hear from you, my listeners, who is your favorite self 323 00:19:49,926 --> 00:19:53,454 and my favorite self right now reminds me that I'd be remiss if I didn't. 324 00:19:53,502 --> 00:19:57,292 Thank you. This is 325 00:19:57,316 --> 00:20:00,940 our 100th episode of the Weenie cast. This 326 00:20:00,980 --> 00:20:04,564 is the 100th time, if you've been with us from the very 327 00:20:04,612 --> 00:20:08,196 beginning that we've talked through, how you 328 00:20:08,228 --> 00:20:12,020 can run life better with your adhd while still 329 00:20:12,060 --> 00:20:15,400 pursuing your dreams. And I 330 00:20:15,780 --> 00:20:19,532 am honored every time I talk with my producer and hear how 331 00:20:19,556 --> 00:20:23,286 many people are listening to the podcast, every time I get a message from 332 00:20:23,318 --> 00:20:26,838 one of you about a tip that you got 333 00:20:26,934 --> 00:20:30,630 that helped you be better in your work or something that you 334 00:20:30,670 --> 00:20:34,510 learned about yourself or just the fact that listening to this 335 00:20:34,550 --> 00:20:37,870 podcast made you feel understood and seen. Thank 336 00:20:37,910 --> 00:20:41,574 you for listening. If you're ready to stop being a 337 00:20:41,582 --> 00:20:45,430 weenie and actually run a business that makes money, then go ahead and book 338 00:20:45,470 --> 00:20:49,238 a generate income strategy call with me by going to 339 00:20:49,374 --> 00:20:53,012 weeniecast.com strategycallen. 340 00:20:53,066 --> 00:20:56,904 On this call we will talk about your goals, your dreams, and your 341 00:20:56,952 --> 00:21:00,672 frustrations in getting there. And if it's a fit for both of us, 342 00:21:00,696 --> 00:21:03,220 then we can talk about different ways to work together. 343 00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:09,632 It teaches us that our favorite self is this irresponsible, 344 00:21:09,776 --> 00:21:13,620 flippant, awful, kind of like lazy person 345 00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:17,792 who shouldn't be allowed to drive the boat or who 346 00:21:17,816 --> 00:21:21,638 shouldn't be allowed to drive the bus. I feel like buses are more utilitarian when 347 00:21:21,654 --> 00:21:24,782 it comes to life. Like, who spends life going around by boat unless you live 348 00:21:24,806 --> 00:21:28,238 in a place like Venice. Personally, if I had to run my life by boat, 349 00:21:28,294 --> 00:21:32,046 I would get really, really tired of it really fast. Cause like, 350 00:21:32,078 --> 00:21:35,238 okay, so think about it. You get into your car or you get into a 351 00:21:35,254 --> 00:21:39,022 bus and you drop your keys. They land on the ground, you can pick them 352 00:21:39,046 --> 00:21:42,862 up. You get into a boat and you drop your keys. You're going 353 00:21:42,886 --> 00:21:46,518 for a swim and maybe you're not even getting them back. 354 00:21:46,574 --> 00:21:50,404 Maybe it's too deep. It's very inconvenient. I 355 00:21:50,412 --> 00:21:52,080 don't know why I brought boats up. 356 00:21:56,460 --> 00:21:58,860 Squirrel, squirrel, squirrel, squirrel.