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Hey there, and welcome back to On Your Terms.

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I'm your host, Sam Vander Wielen, an attorney turned entrepreneur who helps online

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coaches and service providers legally protect and grow their online businesses using my

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DIY legal templates and my Ultimate Bundle program.

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Here on the show, each week I bring you fresh legal tips on how to legally protect your

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business and grow that business on your terms.

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So, I've got something super exciting coming for you at the end of the month, so I just

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want to drop a little teaser and tell you to keep your eyes and ears peeled.

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I can't tell you what it is quite yet.

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You got just, like, I think maybe less than two weeks for you to hear about it, but I'm

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just so excited.

And

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speaking of things that I'm excited about, I was wondering whether you've seen that I've

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been sharing brand new Q&A episodes every Thursday.

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So, if you're an OG podcast listener, you know for, like, the first-year-and-a-half, I

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had a new podcast episode every single Monday.

But

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starting on December 1st of 2022, I actually started airing a second episode each week on

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Thursday called Sam's Sidebar.

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It's a little Q&A episode where I answer one of your legal questions in ten minutes or

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less. People have really been loving it, so I hope that you've been listening.

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If you want to go back and binge a little, they're super quick.

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You can listen to them in the car, while you're walking, all that fun stuff.

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The first one I did was episode 72 on December 1st.

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That's where I talked about what else you need besides an LLC.

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That's a really good one to listen to if you think like, "I got an LLC, is there anything

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else I need to do?" Episode 74 was, What happens to my business if I die?

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Tough topic, but really important and just a really nice quick one.

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Episode 76, I talk to you about can you use the copyright symbol without registering.

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That was a really good one.

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And Episode 78 is if you can work with clients overseas.

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That's a a question I get so often.

So,

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let me know if you've been liking these Q&A episodes.

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I want to make sure.

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I'm only going to keep doing them if you like them.

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So, send me a DM, let me know if you've been listening, if you like it.

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But, otherwise, I just hope you enjoy this episode.

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It's a bit of a a pep talk.

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I really gotten into it. I think I started to cry at one point.

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But the point of this episode was really just to encourage you to believe in yourself and

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in your business before other people do, because we cannot wait for other people to buy

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into our dream. We've got to buy into it first.

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All right. So, let's just jump right in.

So,

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there's a funny thing that can happen when you start a business as a woman.

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There can be this kind of attitude or assumption that what you're doing in your business,

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well, if they'll even recognize it as a business, is kind of cute or secondary or a hobby

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or a little side hustle.

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There's a lot of belittling that goes on.

At

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least in my experience and what I've heard from friends and colleagues as well and from

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so many of you, that people in your life might not always take it seriously.

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For some of you, this might be people who are unfortunately very close to you.

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For others, it might be, you know, Uncle Larry at Thanksgiving.

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It might be some schmuck on the street.

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Who knows?

But

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either way, I've heard this time and time again that people see your business as not

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being as legitimate or serious, as if you told everybody I'm opening a bakery or I'm

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opening a gym or something like this.

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They don't see it that way.

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A lot of this comes from a lack of understanding of online business.

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And we'll talk about this a lot today.

This

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is a really different episode, by the way, than I feel I've ever done.

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But I'm really excited to have this conversation with you and I'm just excited to hear

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what you think after you listen.

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And I also see the same thing, we do this to ourselves as well, I know when I started my

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legal business and definitely when I had my health coaching business, I would always call

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it a little business.

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Like, when I was talking to people out and about, I would just be like, "I have this

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little business. I have this little thing." Do you ever do that?

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I would put myself down.

I

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also would put myself aside or put my business second to other things in my life, because

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I was still seeing it through that lens of being second or aside or not as important, not

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as legitimate if I was opening my bakery, which I would love to open if I could bake.

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I can't bake, I can just cook.

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But the idea of having a bakery with a lot of bread and croissants and all of the stuff,

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isn't that the dream?

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I think so. Having a bakery, by the way, does not make our businesses any less

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legitimate, serious, amazing accomplishments, anything like that.

What

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I find, typically speaking, from Uncle Larry to the schmuck on the street to maybe,

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unfortunately, your partner or your friend - I had a friend who did this to me - people

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don't understand what we do and they don't have a real working understanding of online

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business, so they belittle it.

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And for some people, it comes from a good place of just an ignorance or lack of

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understanding. And so, they're not trying to be rude, but their only conception and

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understanding of social media is, like, Uncle Larry posting on Facebook about the chicken

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dish he had for dinner last night.

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That's their understanding.

Or

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they've heard these stories about, you know, influencers.

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Not that there's anything wrong with influencers, by the way.

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But that's what they've seen.

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They've seen - what's that family?

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The D'Amelio family or something that became huge on TikTok and now they have a show on

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Bravo or E! Or some big network.

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I don't know, I don't watch it, but I've seen that.

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And sometimes I think that people just lump us all into this category, because you market

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your business on social media, you must be like Kim Kardashian or you're like Kylie

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Jenner because you show up on Instagram and do stories.

And

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sometimes when we are in online business - and I've even had these moments myself when I

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talk to people who are really outside of our space - you kind of have that moment where

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you come back down to earth and you're like, "Oh, right.

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People think I'm kind of weird because I'm talking to my phone or I'm taking videos of my

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food. And they're like, 'Oh, is that for Instagram?'" Or, you know, I've been out with

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people who aren't in the space and they make comments about things that it's very clear

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that they follow me on social, which is very strange.

And

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it is different what we do.

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I understand, it's new, it's different.

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And for most people who are still operating in a 9:00 to 5:00 job or who work in

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corporate or have never had a job or whatever, they might look at all these things that

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we do and think it's strange.

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Some people think it's narcissistic.

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I mean, obviously, there are narcissistic elements to what we do.

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But I mean, we're building a business and a business is like that in the space that we

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do.

So, that's another thing, where somebody in your life might look at you and be like, "Oh,

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she looks a little narcissistic." But I would look at you and be like, "Dang.

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She's building a killer business.

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She's doing what she's got to do." That's the way that I think of it.

I

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think that this lack of understanding leads to a lot of kind of rude or hurtful

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questions, despite the fact that they might have good intentions.

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Like, how's your little blog?

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When you don't have a blog, you're not a blogger.

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You blog as part of your marketing strategy, but you're not a blogger.

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And I always hate having this conversation because I'm like, "Yes, but there's nothing

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wrong with being a blogger either." There's nothing wrong with that.

It's

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just that when you are building a business that is different, you are building something

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outside of yourself, you are building something serious here.

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And that's really what we're going to talk about today.

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I really want you to use this as a pep talk and come back to it whenever you need it that

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you are building a legitimate business.

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And just because it's online, just because you use Instagram or Facebook or TikTok or

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whatever thing of the moment to promote it does not make it any less serious or

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legitimate as my dream bakery scenario.

So,

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I have faced quite a bit of this in my own journey.

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And I remember when I was leaving the law - so for anybody who doesn't know, I was a

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corporate lawyer for over five years.

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And then, I left to start a health coaching business.

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And so, at least when I left the law firm, that's what all the lawyers thought I was

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going to do, because that was my plan at the time - I got all the little like, "Oh,

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you're starting a blog." Or like, "Oh, you're going to be a yoga teacher." "Oh, you're

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going to do this."

So, if anybody's heard me tell this story before, when I told my boss that I was leaving,

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he acted very happy for me to my face.

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And then, like, five minutes later, I heard him - because he was so loud - say to one of

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my colleagues at the firm, "Sam's leaving to go teach fat people not to eat

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cheeseburgers."

Besides the fact that there's, like, 800 things wrong with that statement - can we all

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just agree to that? And please don't think I'm skipping over because I'm just trying to

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stay on track with what we're talking about today - rooted in his comment, besides the

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misogyny and the fatphobia and all these kinds of things, is the fact that he didn't

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understand what I was doing.

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He's a very smart person, and I explained to him what I was doing.

But

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I still remember, and maybe you do, too, maybe before you started an online business, you

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still remember that moment when you found the online space.

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Maybe you found another coach or something, or you landed on, like ,one of the big people

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in our industry and that kind of sucked you into this whole world.

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And maybe you found a blogger, like I started a billion years ago.

I

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kind of like entered slowly into this world a million years ago through food blogging

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because I'm obsessed with food.

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So, I read a million food blogs.

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And so, I would read these food blogs, and then those food bloggers became coaches

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sometimes, or they would take like, IIN.

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And then, I was like, What's IIN?

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What's a health coach?

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What do you mean people are meeting on Zoom?

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What do you mean people are getting paid just to support other people?

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This was all so crazy to me when I first found out.

So,

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I tried to have a lot of sympathy and empathy and understanding - this is something I'm

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working on in life in general - in trying to see things a bit more balanced and not so

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black and white that I understand where people are coming from because I, too, remember

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how crazy it sounded.

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Not crazy, but it was so foreign to me coming from a 9:00 to 5:00 - well, I didn't have a

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9:00 to 5:00 job. We had, like, an 8:00 to 9:00 job - 8:00 in the morning until 9:00 at

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night, by the way. Not 8:00 a.m.

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To 9 a.m. That would be an amazing job.

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But I had a very corporate-y buttoned up situation where everything was black and white,

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right and wrong, good and bad, good and evil.

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And it totally rocked my world.

So,

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when my boss said, "Oh.

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She's leaving to help fat people learn not to eat cheeseburgers," he might have even said

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fat women. I don't remember.

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But I just remember thinking like, "Oh, wow.

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He doesn't understand me." On top of, by the way, feeling like absolute garbage because -

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you know what it's like - I was so terrified to leave.

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I was already doubting myself.

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I had plenty of doubt in myself to then be belittled like that was just a little spark I

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needed to light that fire.

Well,

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the initial fire that it lit was like the, "Oh, my gosh.

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I'm doing the wrong thing. I'm such an idiot.

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What am I doing?" And then, that fire burned out and immediately lit the fire of like,

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"I'm going to show this guy.

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I am going to show him." And, boy, did I.

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Boy, did I.

So,

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you're going to face this as part of your business.

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You might be facing this as part of your business.

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You just went through the holiday season.

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I'm sure that you got some comments from Old Aunt Betty at Christmas like, "Hey, what's

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going on with you? What's this business again?

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I don't get it." So, it's frustrating.

I

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also got the whole husband supporting me thing.

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So, when I went to go leave the law, I remember people being like, "That's so nice that

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Ryan's letting you do that." And I was like, "How is Ryan letting me do that?

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I'm a human.

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I'm an adult on my own.

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I am an adult woman who has a job and I've saved my own money and I contribute to my

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household. I'm not being taken care of."

Now, I will balance that comment with the fact that one thing that made it much easier for

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me to leave was, well, (A) I didn't have children.

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(B) I had health insurance through Ryan's work.

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So, I fully acknowledge how much easier - and I always say that when I talk about my

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story, I hate when people are like, "Everyone leave your job.

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It's so easy. You can too." It's not so easy for everybody.

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It's not the case.

But

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I got the whole, "Oh, it's nice for him to do that." Or, I got the, "Isn't he a

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professor? How can he afford to let you do that?" I'm like, "He can't.

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That's why he's not letting me.

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And by the way, he doesn't need to let me.

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And by the way, I'm going to build this thing so I can be the breadwinner.

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Like, who cares? I don't care.

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I'm in a relationship.

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I don't care who makes the money."

I always love, by the way, when people ask me if my goal is to retire my husband.

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I'm like, "Absolutely not.

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This is my business.

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I'm not bringing my husband into this.

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This is my business.

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And he has his own life and he's incredible in his career and he's incredible at what he

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does. We do really different things." It's just funny.

But,

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anywho, you're going to get, and maybe you are getting this, but here's what I want you

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to know at the end of the day, you are building a legitimate business.

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If you have a blog, if you're a yoga teacher, if you're on Instagram, if you have a TikTok

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account, if you're a coach, if you're an influencer, if you are creating online courses,

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if you are posting sponsored content, whatever it is, you are building a legitimate

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business. You get to decide the legitimacy of what you're doing.

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Not everybody else.

I

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wrote an email to my list the other day - if you don't get my emails, by the way, there's

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a really easy way to sign up.

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I'll make sure you have the easy email link below.

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You can get my emails.

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People love my emails.

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But you can get my emails below without going through all my marketing stuff - talking

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about my beloved Philadelphia Phillies.

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So, I'm from Philly.

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I love the Phillies.

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And the Phillies were in the World Series.

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And I wrote this email before the World Series were over, and so I didn't know if the

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Phillies were going to win or not.

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It turns out they didn't. But it's okay.

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It doesn't matter. It wasn't part of the story.

The

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story was that what I thought was so incredible about the Phillies story this year - and

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hang with me, even if you don't like sports, this is a helpful example - is that the

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Phillies were total underdogs like most Philadelphia teams are.

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Nobody believes in us, including ourselves.

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And the Phillies decided that they were going to go big, and they were going to go to the

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world stage, and they were going to be the best before everybody saw them as being

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possible to do that.

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They didn't wait for everybody to think that they were an incredible team who deserved to

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go to the World Series.

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They went to the World Series and they let everybody else catch up.

That's

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how I feel about you with this business.

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You don't need everybody else to believe in your business.

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It makes me want to cry.

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You don't need everybody else to believe in your business in order for it to be

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legitimate. You get to decide that.

And

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here's the thing, and this is always what I see kind of intersecting with what I do, is

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that people will sometimes not think, especially women, that this is a legitimate

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business, the kind of business that you're building.

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They treat it as a little side hustle and they treat it as a little side blog, secondary

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backseat thing.

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And by the way, how well do you think things grow when you treat them as secondary, side

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hustle, backseat things?

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But we treat them that way.

And

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then, you come to me or you DM me or whatever, and you're like, "I don't know if I should

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legally protect my little side hustle, tiny business yet." Your business is legitimate,

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and legitimate businesses get legally protected.

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You have to legally protect this business.

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If you are still thinking it's small and tiny, whatever, that's like a separate

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conversation, which hopefully we've already covered today.

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And we need to work on that within ourselves.

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We cannot wait for other people to do this for us.

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We cannot wait for other people to recognize and legitimize what we are building here.

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And you might be starting with something seemingly small to you right now, but everything

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starts somewhere.

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Everything. So, it might be "small" today.

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That doesn't mean you're building a small business.

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Your business is going to be huge eventually.

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Six months from now or six years from now, it's going to be huge.

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That's the attitude you have to have.

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If we approach our business every single day with like, "I'm just building a little

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business. I'm building a little business." So, you're building a business that's going to

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make $5 a year, that's a little business.

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You're not doing that.

I

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know you. I know you're a go-getter.

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And I know that you're building a legitimate business.

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An online business is not any less legitimate than any other kind of business.

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And so, as I've talked about many, many times, the rules always apply to you.

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The law applies.

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The rules apply.

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The law doesn't see what you're doing as a little tiny business.

But

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this is bigger than the rules.

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This is about believing in yourself and believing in what you're building.

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And it's about believing that you're building something serious, regardless of where it's

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at now, regardless of whether the world sees it that way yet, regardless of whether Uncle

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Larry - God love him - sees it.

We're

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also feeling like all of the stress and overwhelm about the legal side of business,

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because on top of all of this nonsense that we're dealing with that I just talked with

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you about, you've got the fact - you're right - that legal stuff is confusing.

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It's overwhelming.

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It's a lot to take in.

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You've already got a lot on your plate, maybe you have a family, maybe you have another

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job, maybe of life stress, maybe you lost your dad this year.

You're

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wearing a lot of hats if you are running your business.

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You're chief marketing officer.

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You're chief financial officer.

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You're chief everything officer.

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You're wearing a lot of hats.

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And nobody taught you this stuff, and they weren't supposed to, and you weren't supposed

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to learn it.

Like, I always think it's funny that when people come to me and they feel upset about not

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knowing the legal stuff. I'm like, "That's okay.

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I don't know anything about what you do." That's what you're here for.

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This is what I'm here for.

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I'm here to help you.

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And I'm here to be the legal voice to give you the legal tips that you need.

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You don't need to be chief legal officer.

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You don't need to be in-house counsel for yourself.

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Part of growing our business is embracing that we don't have to be everything to everyone

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or to every part of our business.

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And I think that the smartest entrepreneurs that I know, know how to hone in on their zone

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of genius and then kind of outsource the rest as efficiently as possible.

So,

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instead of expecting to be your own lawyer, which you shouldn't be anyway, and harping on

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that, and spinning your wheels in it, and letting it hold you back, and being stressed

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out about whether or not you're going to be copied, or whether a client's not going to

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pay you, you get it done and you move on because we stay within our zone of genius.

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But that has to start with you believing that you're building something serious here and

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it deserves that kind of protection.

So,

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they don't teach this stuff in school.

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Honestly, that's why I created the Ultimate Bundle, my signature program, because when I

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created it a million years ago now, I thought like I want this program to be the thing

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that you would have taken had you known you were going to end up here.

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It's the all in, all encompassing program that gives you, of course, the practical stuff

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of you get all these contracts and website policies that you can download, which are

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awesome. But you also get all this on tap, on demand knowledge, like, what happens if

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somebody doesn't pay you? What happens if someone steals your stuff?

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So, all of that is included for you in the bundle, that's why I did it.

Like

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I said at the beginning, I've got something super exciting coming for you about the

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Ultimate Bundle at the end of the month, so you'll want to keep your ears and eyes

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peeled.

But will you do me a favor really quickly?

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I would love for you to send me a DM on Instagram and let me know if this episode was

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helpful for you. I've never talked about this in this way before, and so I'm just very

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curious what came up for you.

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I just really wanted to inspire you to treat your business as seriously as it deserves

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and as you deserve, and I hope that we did just that.

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So, with that, I'll see you on Thursday for Sam's Sidebar, my little Q&A.

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I hope you're listening.

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See you then.

Thanks

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so much for listening to the On Your Terms podcast.

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Make sure to follow on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you like to listen to

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podcast. You can also check out all of our podcast episodes, show notes, links, and more

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at samvanderwielen.com/podcast.

You

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can learn more about legally protecting your business and take my free legal workshop,

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00:21:47,150 --> 00:21:51,990
Five Steps to Legally Protect and Grow Your Online Business, at samvanderwielen.com.

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And to stay connected and follow along, follow me on Instagram, @samvanderwielen, and send

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me a DM to say hi.