During the season break, we've pulled out a bonus short from one of our early episodes. This one is from Episode 25, How Often Are You Asking for Help?

And one of the things that we hear from a lot of our clients that we work one-to-one with, are, that they say they felt that they weren't set up to be able to drive on their own. They felt that they were taught how to drive in lessons but they didn't feel prepared for driving alone afterwards. No. And I think this is where it's essential in your training, whether you having lessons with mum and dad or with a driving instructor or whoever it may be. That you get to start practicing the basic skills of independent driving. And, You might already do this in your lessons pick three friends. And you have to drive to pick these friends up, it's a game that I play and it gets people to actually start thinking about the route what happens when you get to that person's house? Where am I going to park my car? And it gets people to start noticing. How they're driving. Because they want to get there, they want to pick these friends up. And I think this is about practicing these skills in your lessons. Not to pass a test. But to be driving independently. So post-test what you're doing, is you're using those same skills of driving making decisions and it all becomes easier. You're more confident because you've practiced those skills and it's those skills that I feel, that we as driving instructors or mum and dad. We don't practice enough. We always there as a comfort blanket for that student that we've got, and we'd always ask questions to stop them making mistakes, or, we might ask a little, how would you deal with a situation? Okay, well, how far are you looking ahead? So, you know, those little things that we can do as instructors or mum and dad would person sit next to you. And it's not you actually going through that process. Yeah. And that's the really clear thing that we've been talking about. Isn't it? It's this idea of your driving instructor or your supervising driver is often giving little prompts, giving little hints, asking really helpful little coaching questions, but actually when you're doing that to somebody in the latter stages of their lessons, Your helping them make the decisions and not allowing them to make their own decisions. But. I'm guessing that driving instructors. Maybe feel as if they're not giving good value or they're maybe not doing their job correctly. If they're not asking questions. Yeah. and you know, I struggle with that because I want to help the person. I want the help the person succeed. So, what it is about sometimes is making sure or contracting for want of a better word at the beginning of the lesson. To make sure I know my role, the student knows their role. And. We all know what's going to happen. I'm still there as a safety blanket, but I'm going to use it at the very last moment. Because I want you, the student to be making those decisions and making them in good time so that you are arriving at a hazard prepared. You know the route that you're going to take and you're making sure that this is as close as you can get to driving on your own. And that's what we're aiming for in lessons before you pass your test is to give you that experience. Yeah. And sometimes do you find, you have to bite your tongue? Not to interfere, not to prompt, not to ask a question. Oh yeah a hundred percent. You know, you, you, you. There's something I've seen that the student hasn't. In a previous lesson, when we first started, I would have definitely mentioned. But now people are driving on their own. And I can see something like a slow moving vehicle up ahead on a dual carriageway. And this person's driving in lane one is lane two there not lane three. And I know they're going to have to overtake this slow moving vehicle and I'm thinking shut up Kev. Let this person deal with it. They need to experience this. But it's amazing when you don't say something you really want to help, but you can't. But that's where learning takes place for the student. And am I giving value for money in that situation? Yes. By not saying anything and letting the student actually deal with make decisions that situation that is happening, is going to help them, later on. Yeah, because that's the one that they're gonna remember more than all the times you've told them or prompted them in the past is the one where they're making their own decision, I guess, exactly, but it also gives us something once we've stopped, it gives us something to talk about. Yeah. And that's where my skills then come in. So you're then talking about, oh, do you remember that slow moving vehicle on the dual carriage way? How would you do that differently next time? What might happen next time for you? To be able to not slow down or have to, wait for cars to overtake you, what would you do differently? But it's going to have a better result. Resulting in you being more confident in the future. You know, what is, what is going to happen? What would you do differently? And I think that's where we need to go as instructors. And also mom and dad, you want to help you succeed. But it is allowing you that safe environment to be able to maybe make a mistake or do something or slow down we didn't really need to. So, just those little things that you're doing, to make them more confident.

I'm just gonna jump in here to let you know about our drive calm journal. We've created a 12 week prompt journal to support our listeners to take action and improve driving confidence. The journal includes questions, prompts, and exercises to create an action plan and an opportunity for reflection afterwards. Search drive calm on Amazon to take a look. We hope it helps.