everybody. This is NJ, the host of the NJ podcast. And this is five point Fridays. This is part of the everyday series where we share insights and ideas. Base based on a topic that's of a good importance and these insights will be shared in a format of five different points. A Fridays is a good time to sit and reflect on such topics because you're winding down from the week. And you're, you may be wrapping up to start grinding more on the weekend. And this is the season finale episode 20, a lot of episodes, lot of information. Thank you very much for enjoying. And on this episode, we're going to talk about the stages of grief. The stages of grief grief is defined as an intense sorrow, especially caused by someone's death or a feeling of loss. When we lose a loved one, the pain we experience can be unbearable. Understandably grief is complicated and we sometimes wonder if the pain will ever end. We go through a variety of emotional experiences, such as anger, confusion, and sadness. Now there's a theory developed by a psychiatrist, Elizabeth Kubler-Ross that suggest that we go through five distinct stages of grief after the loss of life. Denial anger, bargaining depression. And then finally acceptance. Now this episode, I know over the years it's being a pandemic. COVID 19. You may have lost a loved one. I've been through this myself as well, going through the five stages of grief, where you lose someone that you never thought you would ever lose. And you'd wonder if the grief will ever end. And it may not even be the loss of a loved one. It may be the loss of a job. It may be the loss of a reality. It may even be the loss of, um, yourself and a sense of identity. And when you go through the grieving process, it may see that you can, may not even see the light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes you may not see the tunnel, but if history has shown anything. And my personal experiences have shown any things that you will heal. You will smile. Again, things will make sense. You may grieve, you may grieve, but sometimes the grief doesn't end, but you've learned to, I live with it and your life will be better for us. So don't give up hope, go through these stages of grief because it's very important. Good grief. Because when you go through the grief and you cry and you go through sorrow, it cleanses your soul and allows you to have a perspective that you can carry on. But don't show at the process, go through these five stages of grief. And if you lost someone lost, lost something, go through these so that you can heal. The first stage of grief is denial. Ernest Hemingway said most men would rather deny a hard truth than faces. The first stage, and this theory, denial helps us to minimize the overwhelming pain of loss. As we process the reality of our loss, we are also trying to survive emotional pain. It can be hard to believe we have lost an important person in our lives, especially when we may have just spoken with this person the previous week or even the previous day. Our reality has shifted completely in this moment of loss. It can take our mind some time to adjust to this new reality. We are reflecting on the experiences we have shared with the person. Andrew might find a, I was wondering how to move forward in life with all this person. This is a lot of information to explore and a lot of painful imagery to process denial, attempts, to slow this process down and take us through it. One step at a time, rather than the rest of the potential of feeling overwhelmed by our emotions. Denial is not only an attempt to pretend that the loss does not exist. We are also trying to absorb and understand what's happening. The next stage of grief is anger. Focus it in times of great stress or adversity. It's always best to keep it. To plow your anger and your energy into something positive. It is common to experience anger after the loss of a loved one, we are trying to adjust to a new reality and we are likely experiencing extreme emotional discomfort. There is so much to process that anger may feel like it allows us emotional outfits. Keep in mind that anda does not require us to be very vulnerable. However, it tends to be more social acceptable than admitting. We are scared and got, allows us to express emotion with less fear of judgment or rejection. Unfortunately anger tends to be the first thing we feel when we stopped to release emotions related to loss. This can leave you feeling isolated in your experience and perceived as unapproachable by others in moments when we could benefit from comfort, connection and reassurance. The next stage is bargaining Dormamuu. I've come to bargain except Dr. Strange when coping with last it's it isn't unusual to feel so desperate that you are willing to do almost anything to alleviate or minimize the pain. Losing a loved one can cause us to consider. Any way we can avoid the card pain or the pain we are anticipating from loss. There are many ways we may try to bargain. Bargaining can come in a variety of promises, including, you know, if God, if he can heal this person, I will turn my life around God. I promise to be better. If you let this person live well, you know, God, I'd never, I'll never get angry again. If you can stop him or her from dying, we're leaving me. When bargaining starts to take place, we often directing our request to a higher power. Well, something bigger than we are that may a bill may be able to influence a different outcome. There is an acute awareness of our humanness and these moments where you realize that there's nothing we can do to influence change or a better Andrew. This feeling of helplessness can cause us to react and protest by pocketing, which gives us a perceived sense of control over something that feels so out of control. Well bargaining, we also tend to focus on our personal faults or regrets. We might look back at our interactions with the person we are losing a note all the times you felt disconnected or may have caused them pain. It is common to recall times when you may have said things we did not mean and wish you could go back and behave differently. We also tend to make the dramatic assumption that of things have played out differently. We will not be in such an emotion in a painful place. The next stage is depression. JK Robin said it's so difficult to describe depression to someone who's never been there because not sadness. I know sadness sadness is to cry and to feel, but it's that cold absence of feeling that really hollowed out, feeling, sharing our experience of processing grief. There comes a time. When I imaginations calm down and we slowly start to look at that reality of our present situation, balcony no longer feels like an option. And we are faced with what's happening. We start to feel the loss of our loved one more abundantly as our panic begins to subside. The emotional fog begins to care and the loss feels more present and unavoidable. And those moments we tend to pull inward as a sadness grows. We find ourselves who treating, being as sociable and reaching out less to others about what we are going through. Although this is a very natural stage of grief dealing with depression after the loss of a loved one can be extremely isolated. The last stage of grief is acceptance. Generally self-acceptance is conceptualized as an affirmation. Or acceptance of self in spite of weaknesses or deficiencies said mapper by mode. Well, Michael Bernard, when we come to a place of acceptance, it is not that we no longer feel the pain of loss. However, we are no longer resisting the reality of our situation and we are not struggling to make a difference, deficit, something different sadness and regret can still be present in this phase. But the emotional survival tactics of denial. While canoeing an anchor are less likely to be present. Now there are different types of grief that we can go through. I mean, Yeah, as you consider the five stages of grief, it's important to note that people grieve differently and you may or may not go through each of these stages or experience each of them in order the line or lines of these stages are often blurred. You may move from one stage to another and possibly back again, before fully moving into a new stage. In addition, there's no specific time periods that Jessa for any of these things. Someone may experience the stages. Failure quickly, such as an a metal weeks where another person may take months or even years to move them to the place of acceptance, whatever time it takes for you to move through these stages as perfectly normal, your pain is unique to you. Your relationship to the person you lost is unique and the emotional processing and feel different to each person. It is acceptable for you to take a time you need add, remove the expectation. Of how you should be performing as you process your grief. Now we're going through this grief and the other people who may go through this grief. So he's on stand, how you can help others are grieving. It can be very difficult to know what to say or do when someone has experienced loss, we do our best to confidence others, but sometimes our fist Yvette can feel inadequate and unhealthy. Yeah, a couple of things to keep in mind, firstly, avoid rescuing or fixing another person when they're grieving the person who's grieving does not need to be fixed in an attempt to be helpful. We may be uplifting, gave hopeful comment. Well, even some humor to try to ease their pain. Although the intention is good, this approach can leave people feeling as if their pain is not seen, heard over added. Secondly, done Felicity. We may want to so badly to help and for the people person to feel better. So we've believe that nudging them to talk and the process, their emotions before they truly ready will help them foster. This is not necessarily true, and it can actually be an obstacle to that healing next, make yourself accessible offer space for people to create. This lets the person know we're available. When they're ready, we can invite them to talk with us, but remember to provide, understand. And validation. If they're not ready just yet reminded them that you're there and not to hesitate to come see. I hope you enjoyed, even though it's a bit Samba and then a curly, but you enjoy this episode. Five point Fridays when we talked about the five stages of grief, but first it's denial, anger, bargaining depression, and then acceptance. If you enjoyed this episode, please like share comment and subscribe. If you're interested in any books and merchandise, please head over to the websites, have a fantastic Friday learn about these five stages of grief. Go through this five stages of grief, yourself to get some points of acceptance, know that people grieve differently. And if you're going through grief or another, person's going through grief, you know, ways that you can be there while they are grieving. Avoid fixing or rescuing them. Don't force them to grieve and make yourself accessible to them. Have a fantastic Friday, enjoy winding down or getting ready to keep on grinding over the weekend. And I will see you on the next episode.