Hello.

Welcome to milestone episode 190.

And today it is my absolute pleasure to bring you confidence coach Alyssa McMasters.

And if you've struggled with self belief confidence, like many of us, you are not going to want to miss this episode.

Stick with us.

The great Mark Cuban once said, business happens over years and years.

Value is measured in the total upside of a business relationship, not not by how much you squeezed out in any one deal.

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This is the Business Development Podcast based in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada and broadcasting to the world.

You'll get expert business development advice, tips and experiences and you'll hear interviews with business owners, CEOs and business development reps.

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Let's do it.

Welcome to the Business Development Podcast.

And now your expert host, Kelly Kennedy.

Hello, welcome to episode 190 of the Business Development Podcast.

I can't even believe that we are this close to episode 200.

It blows my mind.

And for such a milestone epic episode, I am absolutely pleased to bring you today Alyssa McMasters.

Yay.

I'm so happy to be here.

Alyssa is a dedicated MC speaker, confidence and career coach with a mission to empower individuals, especially those in tech, to embrace their inner confidence and step into their true power.

With over a decade of experience in sales and four years in the wellness space, Alyssa combines her expertise in neutrality, mindfulness and research back exercise to help people discover their authentic selves.

She provides compassionate conversations, actionable strategies and unwavering accountability to address areas such as workplace confidence, relationship enhancement, parenthood, navigation, body image improvement and self trust building.

As a workshop facilitator, Alyssa tailors custom workshops to meet the unique needs of her audience.

From businesses and nonprofits to conferences, her authenticity and passion captivate and excite rooms making her a sought after speaker and coach.

Drawing from personal experiences as a professional and parent, Alyssa offers relatable perspectives that empower thousands of individuals on their journey to confidence and self love.

Alyssa is not just a coach, but a catalyst for profound personal transformation, helping you unlock your true potential potential and live with authentic confidence.

Alyssa, it's an honor to finally have you on the show.

I don't know who wrote that bio, but they need a raise.

Well, 200 episodes.

You know, I've had a little practice in helping a great bio.

Beautiful.

Wow, wow, wow.

Beautiful intro.

Thank you.

It is my pleasure.

It's so cool to have you on and you know, while I was reading your bio I'm thinking I've struggled with all those things.

I'm still struggling with all those things.

Alyssa, like, this is a great path for you to choose.

I hear you.

And everybody struggles with confidence.

And I think a lot of people think that confidence is just something external, like, that you can just, like, you either have or you don't have, and like, that person is confident or they're not.

But from my perspective, confidence all comes internally, and it's about not letting your insecurities hold you back.

Not about not having them, because we all have insecurities.

It's impossible not to.

But it's about just allowing ourselves to have them and then move forward.

So we all have problems with confidence.

Even if we are CEOs or interns.

I work with all of them.

And there's the same struggles in both sides of the coin.

Totally, totally.

And I think it's so funny because I've been in business development for an incredibly long time.

I've probably been to well over a thousand meetings in my lifetime.

And yet there are still meetings to this day.

There are still interviews to this day that I get meeting anxiety, that I get stage fright where I'm like, oh, man, this is really happening?

Or am I ready for this?

And it's like, you would think that after that many times that I would just be solid.

And I think that's what people think.

It's like.

It's like, well, well, by the time you've done this for this long, you're just good.

And it's like, no, you are a human.

And like, unfortunately, we're still running from saber tooth tigers.

Yes, exactly.

The fight or flight.

Because that is a real thing that happens, especially in meetings, especially when we are trying to look our best and when we're business development professionals and we are the ones who are kind of the ones who have to put our thoughts forward.

We're the ones that control the conversation, et cetera.

It can be really hard.

I actually want to ask you a question about that.

Sure.

When you say that you get a little bit.

A little bit nervous in some meetings still, are there any themes about the meetings that you get a little bit nervous about?

You know, what they're.

I think a lot of it is, has to do with success metrics and kind of like how I felt in comparison to other people.

But it's so funny because most of the time I don't even know these other people.

Right.

Like, I had.

I had an interview, for instance, with an incredibly famous person a while ago, and it was funny because I showed up, they showed up, and we were both nervous.

Like, it was such a weird, like, surreal moment where I recognized that.

That that person was also quite nervous.

And so for me, it was like, holy cow.

Like, we're all in this together.

I'm sitting here thinking, like, who is.

I'm little old Kelly.

And they're like.

They're like, I'm on the bdp.

Right.

Like, it was a complete, completely.

It was a weird moment.

Let's just call it a weird moment.

Yeah.

And sometimes we convince ourselves that we're the only person who's nervous in a situation.

And we're like, everybody else has it together.

And I promise that none of us actually have it together.

Like, all of us are just, like, fumbling around pretending that we know what we're doing.

Totally.

We can accept that.

And we realize that again, whatever room we walk into, everybody's just fumbling through and just trying not to look like they don't know what they're doing.

Then things get a little bit easier.

So I hear you there, and it's interesting to look at those themes.

So I want you to, like, think about that, like, when the next time you're in, like, a meeting, if you get nervous.

Because I get nervous around a lot of meetings, too.

Just like, those themes that come up for you, like, you're like, is it the specific kind of person, specific kind of conversation?

Those themes are a nice thing to just kind of acknowledge about, like, why.

Why certain meetings just, like, bring up a little bit more excitement and nervousness.

Yeah, yeah.

Like, I'm not going to say that I haven't improved tremendously.

Right.

And I think that's kind of like the point that I wanted to get through to people today was that you are going to have issues with self confidence, you are going to have stage fright, you are going to have meeting anxiety, performance anxiety, whatever you are dealing, dealing with in that moment.

And it is completely normal and we're all experiencing it.

But, like, for instance, when I started my BD career, I was incredibly nervous.

I'm a very, like, introverted person and have been most of my life.

I've kind of had to learn the extroverted skill.

Not necessarily learn it, but I've had to embrace my extrovertedness.

Let's call it that.

Yeah.

A stage that, for me was not a normal place.

I still very much love my own little world and Kelly time and Kelly world.

Like, that is the world I love.

And I'm really good at being just me and so for me, some of my challenges have been how to be more extroverted in a BD position, which I, you know, I'm naturally quite good at.

But I've had to also learn and put myself in situations that have made me incredibly uncomfortable.

And yes, uncomfortable situations have gotten more comfortable as I've rose to the occasion and faced my fears and went over those challenges.

But there are still many, many, many moments where I do struggle with self confidence, where I do struggle with anxiety or like.

And sometimes I don't even know why.

Sometimes it's just like, I don't know why I'm running from the saber tooth tiger.

But in this moment, that's how I'm feeling and I'm not really sure how to deal with it.

And sometimes nothing to do with that meeting, sometimes, like some conversation happened like three days ago with your partner or a friend, and it's just kind of like ruminating a little bit and you're going into this meeting.

It sometimes actually has no, nothing to do with that particular meeting.

And something you said was really interesting.

You said, you know, you were nervous and then you got better and better and we get better and better now.

That is what I hear a lot about imposter syndrome.

Right.

People are always like, imposter syndrome is such, like a scary feeling to have where we don't feel like we deserve to be in the room.

Yeah.

But I like to reframe it in terms of you were.

You felt like an imposter until you did it.

So until you did the meeting and then you're like, okay, actually, like, I'm good until you did it.

And now you're in episode 190.

Right.

You look at your first episode and you're like, I'm sure you tell me, I don't know how you were feeling, but how were you feeling when you like, launched that first episode?

I didn't.

I don't know.

I'm not sure how I was feeling, I think at the time, okay, so the story of the BDP is it's 2022, and Kelly Kennedy knows that he needs to do something.

He's got capital business development.

He's used to old school business development, but he's seeing the world changing.

And I remember thinking, I need to do something different in 2023.

And I don't know whether that's a YouTube, but I'm like, I don't really like YouTube.

I don't know if that's where I want to be.

I don't know if that's like a podcast.

But I love podcasts.

Like, that's where it kind of came from was I love listening to podcasts.

I'm like a huge podcast listener.

What's super funny is I listen to very little business podcasts and never really have, and I still don't, but I love podcasts in general.

So I thought that's a medium that I could do well at that.

I love speaking.

I think I could do this.

Let's do it.

So I bought all this equipment, Alyssa, and I sat it in the corner of my room.

I sat there and I sat it there.

And my fiance looks at me and she goes, kelly, you got like thousands of dollars of podcast equipment in the corner of the room.

We have a family.

Do something with it or sell it.

Sometimes a weird psychological thing that once we do the first step, we're like, done.

I bought equipment.

Check.

I'm finished.

Right.

Like, sometimes our bodies are just like, are actually really excited about doing that first step.

And then we just like, kind of just take a pause for a little bit.

And there's nothing wrong with that either, but I'm happy that we're now here.

Episode 190.

Yeah, it's so funny, right?

Because it's like, it's like that without that pressure, without that, like, do something with it.

That night, I went downstairs, I set up the whole thing, and I recorded the trailer episode to the business development podcast, and the rest is history.

I've released two shows a week, every week since that point, which blows my mind.

But, yeah, like, I remember being very nervous.

I think I talked to you before the show and we were talking about episode three.

And I talk about episode three a lot because episode three almost never existed.

I.

I did not feel good about episode three.

And first off, there's nothing wrong with episode three.

I've never gotten anybody reach out, say episode three sucked.

Why did you put out episode three?

Never happened.

But I was feeling so messed up internally about episode three, and I don't.

I don't even know why.

I just didn't like it for whatever reason.

But I realized something, that in this journey, there's going to be episodes I don't like.

There's going to be days where I can't perform at 150%, that Kelly Kennedy can't show up.

But it's important that I try to show up, that I show up a little bit every time, even on the times that maybe aren't as good, because there's going to be times that are so exceptional.

That they make up for those times that aren't as good.

What was more important was just to show up.

Yeah.

And to me, that's exactly what confidence is.

Showing up even when it feels a little bit sticky.

And then we go back to imposter syndrome, and, you know, you have episode three, and you're, like, really nervous releasing it.

And now you look back to that, and you probably were kind of giggling.

You're like, why was I so nervous about it?

Right.

But we have that imposter syndrome right before we do the thing.

Right before we get the promotion.

Right before.

Or maybe we have gotten the promotion already, and we're having that imposter syndrome right before we have that first meeting.

And everyone gives you a big round of applause right before you do the thing.

So imposter syndrome isn't always a bad thing.

It just means that you haven't done it yet.

Yeah.

It's so funny because, you know, I mean, I've had situations in my life, Alyssa, where I was so racked with stage fright, with nerves, that honestly, I almost felt like I could not do that thing.

And you're physiologically falling apart.

This isn't.

This isn't just in your mind.

Like, you are pouring sweat.

You're like.

You're freaking out.

Like, what.

How do you overcome that?

Because I feel.

I agree with you.

I think that imposter syndrome is very temporary.

And I do find, like, in those meetings, for instance, the ones that I've been the most nervous for two minutes in, I'm questioning why in the world I was so nervous.

Like, why was I.

Once you get a laugh, once you get something to bring the energy in the room back to equilibrium, you feel good, you feel normal.

You're like, okay, I'm free of this.

But those moments leading up to that, before you get that opportunity to come down, can be so incredibly, physiologically mentally devastating.

How do people get through those first minutes?

Or, like, for me, that's a challenge that I still have struggled with.

Yeah.

So I have a course coming out shortly called Confidence Redefined.

And the reason why I call it that is because I think confidence means something different to everybody based on their lives.

Right.

We have the same kind of concept of, like, how do we get through those things that are feeling really sticky?

But for somebody, confidence might mean sitting in a meeting and saying no and then saying nothing else after.

For some people, confidence is like getting up in front of everybody, all your friends and family, and giving a big speech.

And for some people, being.

Having confidence is deciding to quit your job and be a stay at home mom.

So first, like defining what like that confidence and that end goal looks like for you is a super important step.

Now, just like when something's going really, really hard in any area of our life, let's even talk about financial finances.

If we're in debt, it's really hard to get out of debt.

But when we have a little bit of money, it's a little bit easier to start saving.

Right.

Confidence is the same thing.

When we're in that moment or we don't feel very good, we feel really insecure.

It's really hard to build confidence.

But when we're in like a pretty settled, secure situation, it's a lot easier to build it.

So how I like to build it is through tiny, tiny steps going towards neutrality.

We kind of talked about that in the, in the introduction.

I talk a lot about how do we get to the point where we just feel neutral about a situation.

Let's go back to the meeting conversation.

Walk into a meeting in terms of business development, maybe you have a million dollar deal that you have to renew for next year and you're like, this is my entire budget for next year.

And you're going into that meeting.

The neutrality is, I'm going to go in, I'm going to do my very best.

Here's all the things that I can control.

And I can't control anything after that.

Right.

Toxic positivity is saying, I'm going to get it, no issues, nobody can do anything against me.

And then where a lot of us sit is this pessimism, this, no one likes me, I'm not going to renew this.

What am I going to do?

So how do we get to a point where we're just a little bit more neutral, not crazy toxic positivity, because that's not helpful for anyone, but just neutral.

How do we get to the point where like I feel confident about what I'm able to control in this situation?

Yeah, yeah.

And it's so funny, I hadn't even heard the word, the term toxic positivity until my fiance brought it up the other day.

And she's like, she's like, have you like heard of the term toxic positivity?

And I was like, no, but I hope that's not us.

Yeah.

I think our, our generation, my generation I'm feeling is like fairly decent around it.

But like my parents generation that I see, nothing could be wrong.

Right.

And even then you see it in their parenting styles.

I'm right, you're wrong.

I'm the parent.

You're not.

Right.

They weren't allowed to talk about anything like our generation talks a lot about.

And I bring parenting back because it's one of the most vulnerable things that I've been through.

Yeah, they just weren't able to talk about, like, what's going on, so they had to pretend everything was so positive.

And that's where we see a kind of a lot of these struggles of being able to be vulnerable with other people in those generations.

So I see it in our generation and then the Gen Zs who all have their own personal therapists and are just like so cool and so open to so vulnerable.

There's like a lot of really beautiful, beautiful pieces about not being positive all the time.

Yeah, yeah.

It's so funny.

Like, I grew up with, you know, Gen X parents, right?

So like.

And not even just Gen X parents.

Sorry, Boomer parents.

I guess, like my parents were actually older.

So I grew up in that world where you just.

You were tough, right?

You were tough.

You're a boy, you'd be tough.

And it's not their fault.

And I grew up to be very tough.

I was a very strong willed boy and I had to.

But the problem with that was, is that I was also very to myself.

And because I would experience things that hurt, I would just bury it.

I just bury it.

And so, like, later on in my life now I'm kind of having to unlearn.

And I've really used this show as a place to be open to be Kelly and I made a decision from, like, point go of the show that I was going to be as authentic and honest as possible as I could on this show because I think, one, the business development world needs that.

We need somebody who's willing to just be an open book instead of trying to safeguard all that information.

And two, I needed it.

I needed a place where I could be vulnerable and just have my own place, but also feel like I'm doing good in the world.

And so, yeah, like, for me it's been a learning experience because, you know, like, I'm 35, but I've also lived in two worlds, if that makes sense.

Yeah, it does make sense.

And there was a word that you said that was unlearned, and I love that word because it has a lot to do with what I do as well as I help people unlearn insecurities because a lot of our insecurities are not actually ours.

The reason why we don't like our body is not because we don't intrinsically like it.

It's because it doesn't match what the media told us to like and what social media told us to like and, and what our parents told us.

These little kind of microaggressions that we've heard through our entire lives, those are, that's the reason why we have insecurities.

Those insecurities aren't actually ours.

So one way that we can start increasing confidence is by unlearning a lot of those conditionings that we were taught, allowing ourselves to think, do I really dislike my body or was the cosmos that came out when I was younger, did they all like just point out everybody who had cellulite?

Yeah, right.

It's a really important thing to like unlearn things.

And it's nobody's fault.

Well, I mean, it's society's fault, let's be honest.

It's systematic, but there's nobody individuals fault.

It's not our parents fault, it's not your teacher's fault.

It's a system thing.

And in order to like really reach real confidence, we have to unlearn those insecurities because we' going to have them.

Right.

And we have to learn how to just be a little bit kinder to ourselves and get towards that neutrality just a little bit quicker.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

My gosh, we just got into it, didn't we?

No.

Okay, we can go back.

Let me tell you about me.

Yeah, yeah, no, absolutely.

I love this and I want to get into it.

But first off, like, someone doesn't just become a confidence coach.

Right?

Like, that isn't something that just happens, you know?

Who is Alyssa McMasters?

How did you end up on this journey?

Like, how did you become this powerful woman?

When I became a confidence coach, I actually, I saw, I didn't even know what it was.

So let me go back a little bit.

I was in business development for and sales marketing for 10 years.

I started in film and oil and gas and kind of like bounced around a bunch of different places.

Ended up in advertising and then kind of my last part of my career in business development was tech.

And I really, I, for me, personal, like personal like brand development.

We kind of talked about this a little bit before too.

It's so important to build your own brand because that's how I like to sell.

That's how I like to build businesses is I like to sell through.

Does this look good for you?

Does it look good for me?

Can we connect in a certain way?

Yeah.

So the brand is one thing and then the asking of questions.

I got really, really good at asking the right question.

You know that like age old question.

I don't have a pen around me.

That age old question that everybody would ask, like, sell me this pen.

Yeah.

I remember when I first started, I was like, this pen, awesome.

I love this pen so much.

It's blue and it's gonna be so good on your, on your paper.

Yeah.

And after kind of the end of my career, I started realizing that the only question I have to ask is why do you need a pen?

Yeah.

Yeah.

What are you gonna use this pen for?

And then we'll figure out the other stuff.

That's right.

Yeah.

For asking those questions.

I had in my kind of last six months of my career of business development career, I had three different clients ask me, how are you so confident?

And can you teach my daughters?

And the first time it happened I was like, oh, that's so nice.

Second time it happened I was like, okay, there's something here.

And the third time it happened, I went home to my husband and I was like, I think I'm going to quit my job and become something in confidence.

And he was like, he's the best.

My husband's the most amazing man in the world.

And he's like, yeah, do it.

And I was like, yeah, just like figure it out.

I trust you.

You'll figure it out.

So I started about four years ago now, three and a half where I made a course that was like 21 things you can do to build your confidence.

And I really sat with myself to figure out like what do I do every day to feel confident as like a mid sized woman.

One of the one the lonely only is in tech, One of the only women in in business development.

Often how do I build that confidence?

So I came up with 21 things that I do actionable steps.

I then sold this course and had a hundred women take this course right away.

I started first with women.

I now do all different kinds of genders.

But I was more comfortable with women at the beginning.

So I had a hunter women take it and they really enjoyed it.

They gave me some different information about what they liked, what they wanted to have changed.

And from there I took lots of different training.

I have my small business coaching certification because I was like, I really want to like learn how a small business owner thinks.

Because I think that we all are actually small business owners whether we have a career or not, right?

Specifically in sales.

I mean what we output is actually directly translated to how much we make.

Right.

But really everybody, everybody is their own small business.

So I took some different training, took my emotional intelligence coaching certificate certification as well as my confidence coaching certification and learned that really coaching is just asking the right questions.

Yeah.

And I was like, well, that's what I've been doing in business development for the last four years.

How interesting a connection is that?

So I actually find that business development and coaching are really similar.

Is you just have to ask, why do you want a pen?

Why do you want confidence first?

And then we can find all the tools to create that.

My gosh.

My gosh.

And like, what was the reception essentially when you started marketing this?

Like, what were the.

What was kind of the feedback initially?

Was it a little bit challenging for like, Because I think, I think most people initially are like, yeah, I'm confident.

And like, oh, crap, maybe I'm not.

I was just like kind of dulu.

Like, I was just like, I was like at the time, I was like, I was like 27.

I was like, I mean, whatever.

Like, I've done sales.

Like, yeah, I was just delusional.

I think that, like, maybe you're just allowed to be a little delusional at the beginning.

Sure.

And most people were like, a lot of like my friends and family and they were like, hoorah, you're doing so good.

And then from there is like really the word of mouth.

And I think that's the best visit development as well as the best.

What's the term?

Compliment is when you get referrals.

Totally.

Is when someone refers you.

So from there it was mostly referrals.

And now I almost base most of my business on referrals and on social media.

So those are kind of my two marketing.

But it really is word of mouth referrals for me, which is also how I always like to do my business development side too.

So, yeah, the reception first, like four years ago, people were like, what's a confidence coach?

And I was like, I actually don't really know, but I'm creating it.

Yeah.

Now there's actually a lot of confidence coaches.

So whatever was going on, whether it was like something in like the universe that was happening or we were just being fed a different messages about like coaching.

I know a lot of confidence coaches and they're all wonderful and all do things really, really differently.

So yeah, that's how my journey into coaching started.

And then I did lots of one on one.

Still do lots of one on one.

Love one on one.

I was then hired by a beautiful company called Toast that helps women get into tech roles.

Amazing.

Three on one coaching with toast.

So they're a wonderful, wonderful company.

And then I do a whole bunch of workshops and then speaking for different conferences, and I specifically work with women in tech.

And then also teens is a really big, big group of mine.

And I'm sure that you can be like, yep, teens.

Confidence.

Could you imagine if we were like, yeah, and we're given, like, tools on how to, like, work through insecurities?

Man, I look.

I look back to, like, my, like, junior high and high school experience, and, man, almost none of the stuff that we were taught in that was relevant to real life.

And it really bothers me.

It's one of those things that this day really bothers me that we are not like, why don't we just teach business in school?

Why don't we teach mindfulness?

Why don't we teach.

Yeah.

Confidence building?

Like, why don't we teach skills that, like, I get it.

We need language arts and we need math and we need science.

But, like, really, do we need anything else other than life skills?

And we're just.

We were like, I think the new generations, like, what I've been seeing.

The teams that I work with, like, the.

The eloquency, like, they're so eloquent in the way that they talk, and they're so open and vulnerable.

I actually did a workshop last night for some of the contestants for Miss Teen Calgary, and I kind of went in being like, okay, they're going to be like, me and my friends when we were, like, 14, and they're going to, like, roll their eyes, whatever.

These girls were, like, so open and so vulnerable, and they were, like, literally competing against each other.

And we're, like, holding each other's hands and, like, clapping for each other.

I was like, wow, this is so cool.

This is so cool.

So I think that is getting a little bit better because I think that people.

The toxic positivity, I think, is a really big thing.

We're not like, these.

Those teens are not expected to be perfect all the time.

There's a lot more conversations around mental health.

However, there's still a lot of challenges that we.

I didn't face social media, all the filters, all of the different information that they're getting.

So, yeah, I remember being a teenager and then coming out of school and being like, what the heck am I supposed to do?

Like, I don't know how to adult.

Yeah, yeah, I know.

I'm.

It's something that, like, me and Shelby, we talk about a lot.

And it's like, I.

I'm really afraid of like, of what social media could do to my kids.

I really am.

Like, I don't think, like I didn't get Facebook for instance, until I was in grade 12.

Like I was in grade 12 when I got Facebook.

Like that was it, right?

Like that was.

And even then, like we're talking like Early Years, 2007 Facebook, right?

Like there's nothing going on then.

It was a completely different world.

YouTube was brand new.

Like, I don't know, it's like we're having to parent and we were talking about this.

We're having to parent and deal with challenges that nobody could have ever seen coming.

And it's all new.

And the old, the old information is really no longer relevant because we're playing in a completely new sandbox as parents.

We are.

And like the social media is one thing and something that's really interesting from when I was younger and maybe you can attest to this too is like, I feel like it was a little more challenging for women and girls growing up.

The confidence for girls was harder.

It's been a really interesting switch.

And we see the same challenges of, for confidence for men as well.

A lot of boys are wanting to have six packs.

I think like the dudes they see in Tick Tock.

Right.

There's also a lot of, yeah, just like a lot of stress on both like and all genders.

We're seeing a little bit more towards boys and our non binary friends as well.

We're seeing just like lots of different challenges that we never saw in the past.

Before it was like you either cool or you're not.

And now that's.

Yeah, that's really what it was.

And then really.

Right.

And then you throw Covid in the wrench where now all these kids who are supposed to be like, you know, have these.

Let's talk about the kids who graduated in 2020, 2021.

They were supposed to have a graduation, then they went into university, all while not being able to be with any of their friends and have that social development.

All they had to turn to was social media.

So they're trying to also learn and I give them that the biggest round of applause.

Could you imagine if like you weren't able to graduate with your friends and then didn't have your first year college universe, like college experience?

Man, those kids are so resilient.

So we need to give them a little bit more grace and we also need to give them more tools.

So that's the teen side of things.

It's, it's really Interesting, because it's like, it's also that balance between us wanting them to have real relationships and real connection.

Right.

Like in our house, we really do try to prioritize.

Like, obviously, I'm a business.

Shelby and me want our boys to have a real childhood experience where they're playing with other boys, they're playing on the park, they're building real connection, but yet almost everything in the world is pointing them towards digital communities.

The Metaverse, let's call it.

Right.

And I see it with Fortnite, right?

Like, our oldest son loves Fortnite.

It's like, but that's where his friends are.

That's where his community is.

Like, that's what has ultimately happened.

And I find myself very scared about what that could potentially mean for the future.

And so funny because I actually interviewed Q.

Harrison Terry, who wrote the Metaverse Handbook, and we chatted about that.

And that's the world that's coming, whether we like it or not.

But it's, it is scary.

And it's like, okay, as parents, he's not a parent yet, so he didn't understand it necessarily from my point.

But as like a parent, it does bring fear to me about what that could mean for their future.

And for me, my son is 2, so I am very grateful that you get to go through it first and then let me know how to manage it.

Yeah, yeah.

No, we have, we have a family of four and so I have three stepsons and I have one six month old biological son who, yeah, I get, I get the full gamut of parental experience.

And it's, it's, it's challenging.

Like, as we're getting into, like, you know, it wasn't.

But now electronics and like, you know, obviously Adler is going into grade six here and things are changing and the world is changing and yeah, like, we're starting to realize that, like, frankly, I want my kids probably as little as possible on, on any type of social media, on any type of phone or any type of tablet.

Like, if I can keep them off YouTube, if I can keep them off social media, I think there's a time and a place for it.

I think YouTube is amazing for the right reasons.

I think social media is amazing and required for the right reasons, but I think that there's a lot of reasons that it's not right.

And those tend to be the ones that target kids.

Yeah.

Did you see that experiment that Elon Musk's company?

I forget the name.

You're gonna have to fact check me on that.

Where he Gave technology and Internet to, like, a remote village in.

Believe it was Peru.

Did you hear about this?

I didn't know.

Run me through it.

So they were given this technology and everyone was given phones.

And again, we're going to have a fact check this because I don't know all the details, but they're given phones, they're given technology and Internet for the first time ever.

And everybody got addicted to porn and social media.

Oh, no.

However, and the elders were like, okay, we need to, like, put a stop on this.

And they didn't want to give it back.

So very similar to all of us.

Right.

Like, we don't want to give.

No different.

We still want it.

Because they ended, like, they first started researching, like, how do we cure X kind of snake bite?

How do we cure, you know, different kinds of things?

How do we, like, you know, eat different kinds of foods?

So they're like.

The elders were like, no, we still want to keep this, but we just have to monitor it because.

Yeah, kind of just like, human condition, maybe, Right?

Totally.

Social media is made to make us become obsessed with it.

Yeah.

And I think one of the challenges.

And, you know, I mean, you're not necessarily in this scenario yet, and maybe my warning to you would be once they.

Once you have given them tablets, once you have given them exposure to, you know, YouTube or, like, tablet games or whatever, you're right.

It's very hard to change it back.

And, like, we've actually had that conversation in this house where sat down with Shelby, and I'll be like, okay, I made a huge mistake.

I'm owning this because I didn't see it coming.

Right.

Like, I didn't see how, like, how challenging that situation could be, but it's almost impossible.

It's not impossible.

I'm his parent and I could walk it back, but I can't walk it back without causing damage.

Yeah.

And not just them getting upset, but, like, real, like, social damage.

Real damage.

Real damage for them.

And so the challenge for me, like, I've hit plenty of moments from like, damn it, I'm just going to take it.

I'm just going to take it.

And then Shelby's like, you can't.

You can't take it.

Like, you can't take it.

You're going to destroy that kid.

And I'm like, oh, my goodness.

Like, I've.

It's like, it's like, I see the benefit in it.

Right.

Like, the reality is we use socials to promote this show.

We use socials to promote our business.

We're on there all the time.

And I love socials, but I feel like it's a different use case than for kids.

And I think, like I said, socials have their place.

YouTube has its place.

Amazing.

I can't tell you how many things I've learned from YouTube or how many reviews I've, like, made better buying decisions or whatever else.

YouTube has a lot of great reasons, but I think there's a lot of stuff on there that, my gosh, is just absolute junk.

And that tends to be what the kids are watching, and I struggle with it immensely.

Yeah, here's the thing.

So the thing that I find really interesting is once we kind of define what confidence means to each and every one of us, and confidence means something different, Right?

Like, a team that I work with is like, I want to be confident walking the stage at my grad, Right.

Where a CEO is like, I want to be confident because I just got $3 million invested into my company and I don't know what I'm doing with it.

Right.

So once we kind of define what confidence means to each person, really, a lot of the steps are very, very similar.

And that is the unlearning of the insecurities and unlearning of those bad habits, like the social media.

And then also, like, maybe procrastinating with CEOs.

So that's very similar.

And then it's about taking those small, integral steps every day and really holding yourself accountable to, how can I take a step every day?

Kind of like working out, right?

Yeah.

We're not going to get great muscles unless we keep doing this every day.

We're not going to have great confidence unless we do it every single day and keep consistent with those small changes.

Because we can't, like you said, we can't just, like, take our kids tablets away.

But what if we started doing small things to help them make their own boundaries, set their own boundaries around social media?

Right.

That is kind of how my approach to not just confidence, but really a lot of situations, whether it's personal or professional, is how can we make those small steps to get, like, 1% better each day?

Yeah, I agree, because I think, like, at the end of the day, in moderation, most things are okay for you.

Right.

Like, but the problem is that it gets blown way out of, you know, any type of moderation when we're dealing with socials or tablets or, you know, things with kids for the most part.

And it's like, it does fall on us as parents.

But I think I find myself in such a situation now where I want to do what's best for them, but I also don't want to hurt them.

And I don't know, sometimes I have my moments.

And it's like, I think I'm not alone in this.

I think there's probably a lot of parents listening to this right now are like, I am right there.

I totally get it.

Yeah.

They kind of like, tell me how you feel.

Like, we kind of feel embarrassed.

We're like, maybe I shouldn't have gotten a tablet.

How.

What do I.

What do I do now?

Because who do you have to look in the mirror?

Who gave them the technology?

Right.

Like, that's the problem.

We gave it to them.

And so on a certain level, it's like we said, hey, this is okay.

Enjoy this thing and have fun, because it's amazing.

It's this great thing.

Like, I grew up with Nintendo.

Like, Nintendo one.

Right.

Like, you couldn't become addicted to Mario.

I'm sorry, Mario is amazing, but you're never, like, thinking about Mario all day long, forever.

And even if you did, you'd beat it eventually and get bored of it.

Yeah.

Technology we have now is designed to be perpetual and go on forever and feed you that addictive thing over and over and over and over again forever more.

And yet we're.

I don't know.

It's crazy.

It is.

It feels crazy.

It does.

And there's one, like, one tool that I teach in a lot of my coaching is just being kinder to ourselves and, like, forgiving ourselves.

Right.

We, like, again, thank you for taking this, because I don't have to do this because your generation of kids isn't helping me.

But, you know, we.

You didn't know.

You.

We didn't know what was going to happen with tablets.

We.

You guys were just trial and error, and that's okay.

And allowing yourself to be like, I'm allowed to make mistakes.

This mistake.

Now where do I want to go from here?

And guess what?

Like, maybe you're like, you know what?

I actually totally okay.

Feel okay with the tablet use.

Yeah.

But if you decide that you're like, I actually don't, then you can kind of start making those small steps and helping your kid make those small steps.

And what my coaching is, what that looks like is I will be like, so what's the first next step?

Right.

That's what I'll ask.

And I ask again.

I ask that to CEOs and teens and in all kind of the whole range of this group.

Right.

Interns.

Are in there.

Moms are in there.

Really a whole range.

What I always ask is, again, what's the first next step?

And everybody knows.

Everybody always knows what that first next step is.

They might just need to kind of be coached a little and kind of walk through what that might look like, but, you know, you know, intrinsically, like, what feels good.

And that's also where I go with my confidence coaching.

There's nothing that we can do if you don't want to do it.

And it has to feel good to you.

It has to feel, like, authentic and good to you or else, like, there's no point in doing it.

So that's why we figure out what feels good to, like, each individual that I work with.

Well, it's.

The funny thing about confidence is you can be really confident in one area of your life and incredibly not confident in another.

Right.

Like, I think parenting has definitely been one of the most challenging things that we have that I've had to learn.

Like, I got kind of thrust into it just three stepsons, right?

Like, it was immediately, you're a dad.

Enjoy.

And it was challenging.

Thank God.

Shelby kind of held my hand and walked me through that process.

And now, you know, I have.

I have Jet, and he's six months, and he's amazing.

I'm.

I'm such a proud dad.

But I.

I was.

I've always been a proud dad, but it was.

It was one of those things where it was just like, holy cow.

Like, this is a whole nother thing.

Like, a baby is a completely different scenario.

But, you know, I find myself.

I don't know if I will ever be 100% confident as a parent.

And I don't think as a confidence coach, I don't think that anyone will be a hundred percent confident all the time.

Yeah, I think maybe that's narcissistic criticism.

Right.

That's a diagnosable problem.

I think that it's a.

It's very fluid, right.

When something happens and it kind of knocks down our confidence, how do we get.

Build that back up?

Not to be 100 confident, but how do we just build it up to feel, like, secure in where we are and make decisions that we want, regardless of, like, the garbage that just happened to us, whatever area that is.

So I don't think that anyone will be 100% confident.

And I also don't think it's a destination.

I think that it's a journey.

That's cliche, but I'm going to say it again.

Confidence is not a destination.

It's a journey, right?

We.

We're always kind of striving to that next step because things are always changing.

And if we've never been a parent before, I remember, like, when my son, I guess, was like, four days old.

My husband looks me.

He's like, if someone just, like, took care of him for, like, a week and just, like, took him away, like, is it bad that I wouldn't be sad?

I'm like, no, I'm thinking the same thing.

Right.

But now, two years later, I'm, like, such a confident mom, and, like, I feel very blessed to feel like a really good mom.

And that is fluid.

Those things are always changing.

But how did I kind of get here in two years?

I just allow.

I did all the tools that I teach in my coaching and in my workshops, but those tiny steps, right?

One of those steps was leaving the house.

I remember, like, leaving the house for the first time, and I was like, okay, I can do this.

This is the scariest thing I've ever done in my life.

I will go travel.

I will go talk to CEOs.

I will do anything again.

This is the scariest thing, is leaving the house and go to the grocery store.

But doing those small steps each day eventually leads to where you are.

I think parenting is a really good example of that, is that then you look back to your friends or family who have newborns, and you're kind of like, yeah, it was hard, but, like, got through it.

And, like, you almost kind of forget and you're in the thick of it.

You're in the six months.

Yeah.

Although, like, I think for me, it's not as hard because, like, I.

I've somewhat been through it.

Right.

Like, I was already a step parent for four years before Jet came along.

So it's like, I feel like on a certain level, I'd already burst that bubble.

Like, I already kind of gone through a lot of that.

But, yeah, like, I get what you're saying.

I think the challenge that we face in confidence, right?

And it's like the same challenge we face in business.

We want everything to just be as quick as humanly possible.

Right.

And in my experience, nothing comes without work, without hard work most of the time, and nothing is immediate.

Like, almost any win I've had, whether it was a win on this show, whether it was a win on capital Business development or a win personally, it took twice as long as I as I wished it would have.

Right.

Like, nothing happens in the speed that, as humans, we plan.

Oh, yeah, we can do it in this time it's like, no.

Most of the time it takes longer, and we have this great challenge of wanting to be somewhere much faster than it's going to happen.

And so I think confidence is the same way.

It's like, I just wish that I could be there.

But you're right.

It's a journey.

Like, you're going to get there as long as you keep taking steps every day, but you can't skip to the end.

Exactly.

We have to build it.

It is like building blocks, really.

Each tool that you.

That you gain, that you can put in your toolbox.

Let's say one tool that I really like is naming your insecurity bully.

It helps, like, externalize what your insecurities are saying.

So that.

That little voice in your head that's like, you're not good enough.

Like, you don't belong here.

What if we named it and what if we, like, talk to it?

Like, it's like a friend.

It becomes, like, really silly when we externalize it.

And we're like, you're like, could you imagine a friend saying that to you?

Like, you'd like.

You'd literally, like, probably knock them out.

Let's be honest, right?

So gaining those tools that you have, you know, that plethora of tools that you can use when you're like, okay, my insecurities are really coming up right now.

I have six tools to use.

Maybe I want to write them down.

Maybe I want to talk to my insecurity bully.

Maybe I want to forgive myself for having these thoughts.

Right.

There's all these different tools that we can build.

It's all about building your tool belt.

So that.

And building your tool belt when you feel okay.

That's the hard part is, like, we want.

When we're, like, not feeling great about ourselves, we're like, we want confidence, but it's easier to build it when we're feeling pretty okay.

But we build those so that when we have that insecure moment, when we have that really nervous meeting when we have to get on stage and we almost don't do it, we can pull from that tool belt and start thinking about those tools that we have built over however many years it has taken us.

Yeah.

Like, I think.

And, you know, I think this is a tough one to kind of, like, word.

We're all going to get knocked down.

Right.

Like, there's.

There's.

There's no, Nobody, not one of us is going to walk away without having a moment where our confidence is shattered, our feelings about ourself in that moment is shattered.

So we're going to get knocked on our butts, right?

It's going to like, none of us are getting away from this.

Whether you're in business, parenting personally, you're going to have that day where you're on your butt and you're like, why?

Why is this happening?

Right.

I think what's more important is how do we get back up as soon as possible?

Because we.

We have to make an internal choice to say I'm either going to stay knocked down, I'm going to let my confidence be shattered, or I'm going to pick myself back up as quickly as humanly possible.

What advice would you have for that person?

We're talking to you right now like they're listening to the show today and they are just been knocked on their butt.

Something, something horrible has happened.

It shook their confidence.

How do we help them get back as soon as possible?

So I first, I know this is not the answer that we want, but it takes practice.

I want you to think about the first time that you drove your car and how scary that was and you had all these knobs and you had all these buttons and you had no idea how to use them and.

And you're driving and thinking about it now where you just get in your car and you don't even think about it.

Confidence is very similar.

Right?

We.

It's like building.

It's like learning how to drive a car.

So it takes practice.

But if you are having like a really hard time, like you are knocked on your butt and you are just trying to get up, I want you to be really gentle with yourself.

And the first thing I want you to do is I want you to change what success looks like to you in that situation.

So I'll kind of make some examples.

So you said a little bit earlier that really, really liked is you can feel really confident in business and not feel confident in parenting.

Right.

Which is so true.

But often those things will bleed into each other.

So something happens in your meeting and you like blow a client meeting or something and then you go home and you just don't feel as.

I know exactly what you're talking about.

It's all about balance, right?

It's all about.

Actually, we kind of talked about this earlier.

It's not about balance.

I don't think balance is a real thing.

You can't like properly balance your business life and your romantic life and your kid life.

It's just seasons.

You pick which season kind of is most important to you at that time.

Right.

But I want you to change what success means.

So when you're doing really well and things like feel really good and you're maybe you're crushing it at work and you're crushing it at home and everything feels really great, success might look like, I'm going to have three meetings today and I'm going to like sell 100 grand today, right?

Yeah.

When you get knocked down and let's say, let's say, let's use example of work, so you make 100 grand, you feel awesome, you're able to like go on these crazy trips.

Great.

Then one day you get laid off.

Right.

Success just no longer looks like making 100k that day.

Success might look like getting up, showering, and applying for one job.

Yeah, right.

Success might look like having one conversation with somebody.

So by us, like, I think our biggest problem was we think that success is linear in all of our areas of our life all the time.

So when we're doing really well and things feel good and when things don't feel good, we still have the same expectations on ourselves and we need to learn how to change what success means to us.

If you are.

Yeah.

If you're having that like on your butt time.

Change what success looks like to you.

Yeah.

So essentially what you're saying is put, put a win, even if it's a small win, even if it's just this like itty bitty win, just put a win.

Because if you can get one win, you can get two.

Exactly.

That is a really nice way to also.

Yeah, it's a really, really beautiful way to put it.

And I find what you like to do.

Right.

People like to.

Some people like to like write notes in a journal.

Yeah.

Some of my clients would like to like make voice notes they can listen to later.

Find your thing and write down that win.

Like allow yourself to kind of celebrate that win.

And sometimes again, that that win is just showering that day.

Honestly.

It's so funny because, like my entire career I've always had a notepad.

So I use my notepad on a daily basis and I always put, especially when I'm doing client work, top things to do today.

And it was something.

There was something about checking off each little win that gave me little butterflies inside.

Like it's a weird.

It's.

It's so meaningless.

It's a checkmark by a line.

Item them.

But that check mark to me always represented a small win and it helped me to hit the next check mark.

Right.

And cold calls were the same way.

It's like, you've spent time doing cold calls in your life.

The first cold call sucks.

Nobody ever sits down for a day and they're pumped to do their cold calls.

Like, I've met one person ever who's like, I live for this.

Right.

But what we recognize is by the time you get to your fifth cold call, you hit a cold call cadence in the 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th, all the way to 20 if you want is easy, but you can't get there until you make the first five.

Yeah.

And actually, speaking of cold calls, one of the best pieces of advice that I got, one of my.

One of my mentors and one of my bosses in my past was he's like, you need to celebrate the F.

You know, you need to, like, go out and, like, buy, like, a lunch or, like, get yourself coffee.

When you get, like, a big F, you like the one that, like, makes your bones hurt a little bit.

Yeah, that's what you need to celebrate.

And when you get used to celebrating that, now all of a sudden you'll get this F, you know, and you're like, hey, nice, I gotta get a coffee.

And it doesn't feel as, like, intense.

So I guess there's kind of two sides to it.

Change that success and, like, have that, like, find those wins.

But also you can learn how to reframe those really big losses, too, and learn how to celebrate those losses, because that loss is one step closer to that next win.

Yes.

Yes.

And okay.

Reframing.

Reframing is a fun one.

Oh, my gosh, it's hard.

And reframing is a fun one because it takes a lot of consciousness effort to change your perception or your already existing frame.

And I hear frame, like, reframe come up a lot.

Right?

Like, I just did reinvention.

I just read Reinvention Roadmap, and it's so much focused on, like, reshifting and reframing and.

And really, like, you had been talking about become your own boss.

And I love that aspect of it.

But the reframe is such a hard aspect.

It's such a challenging aspect to be able to sit down and say, okay, like, I've looked at something this way and now I have to change my whole view.

It can feel impossible.

It can feel like a woo woo idea.

What is your advice for reframing?

Yeah, so do we have time?

Can we do, like, a little exercise?

Let's do it together.

So this is something called a neutrality ladder, which is really helpful.

So if you have a piece of paper in front of You.

And you're listening to this.

Great.

If not, listen to this, get a piece of paper and come back later.

So, like, anything, if we went from zero to a hundred, it.

It's impossible, right?

It's absolutely impossible to go from this example, I got laid off and I am worthless.

Right.

To I am the most amazing person in the world.

We can't do that.

Yeah.

What we can do is we can take those small steps.

So I call it like a 10% kinder.

So if you have a piece of paper in front of you, I'd like you to, like, write down and draw a ladder, an actual ladder with five or six rungs.

And in the bottom, I want you to write that insecurity that you have coming up.

Again, let's use that example of I'm worthless.

Right.

On that next rung of that ladder, I want you to think of something 10% kinder.

So first of all, I'm worthless.

10% kinder.

Could be.

I am.

I am alive.

I am a human.

I have some good qualities, right?

And then we can kind of believe that, right?

We can't believe I'm the most amazing person in the world and I'm gonna make a million dollars, but we can maybe believe I'm a human, because that's not wrong.

That's true.

Once we kind of sit with that, then we go up that rung again to that 20% kinder.

What's 10% kinder than I'm a human?

Some people really like me.

Yeah, that's true.

That's like, a true fact.

Some people really like me.

That's very true.

And so on and so on until we get to a point that we're like, yeah, I feel a little lighter.

But I also don't feel like I'm, like, faking and lying to myself.

So maybe that kind of neutrality that we get to look something like, I have all of the skills to get a new job, Right.

I have all the skills to crush it at my next role.

Right.

And that's kind of how we can start reframing things, is taking those small 10% steps.

Wow, that's.

That's actually super powerful.

Like, I was just thinking about that.

I'm like, yeah, like, that actually makes a lot of sense.

I think it's fairly simple, right?

This isn't rocket science.

Well, it's so funny.

We're not taught it either.

We're not taught how to use our.

Brains, but it's like.

It's like, even for business, right?

It's like, you're not going to make a million dollars next year.

But if you were to do that same ladder exercise and say, you know what?

Today, yeah, today sucks, but tomorrow I'm gonna make 100 bucks, and the next day I think I can make a thousand bucks.

And then.

Right, like, you can.

You can use this just about anywhere.

Yeah, exactly.

So the latter.

And.

And it really helps to, like, draw it out and it.

Because it allows.

It's almost like.

Almost like a little like, mindfulness exercise where, like, you're just like, all you're doing is with yourself in this.

This session.

And it can take 15 seconds and eventually.

Now talk about driving the car when you draw it out.

And it takes that driving the car for the first time.

But now I can reframe this all the way to, like, feeling pretty good about myself pretty quickly.

It comes pretty naturally that I've.

Now that I've practiced a whole lot of practice.

Yeah.

Yeah.

One of the questions that came to my mind as we've been talking about confidence is that courage gets thrown in a lot.

Right.

Are courage and confidence the same thing?

Okay, so I think that they have a lot of similarities, and this is why I don't think that you can have courage without fear, and I don't think you can have confidence without insecurity.

So I think that they have a very similar situation there where in order to have that confidence, you must first feel shitty.

In order to first have.

In order to have courage, you have to first feel fear.

I think that they have a lot of similarities that way.

I also think that confidence comes from both.

Confidence and courage come from within.

But courage, again, is facing that fear, and confidence is facing that insecurity, which those kindlings can feel very overlap sometimes.

Yeah.

No.

Okay, yeah, that.

That makes sense.

It's weird to think that you can't really, but you're right.

It's like you can't experience light unless you know what dark is.

It makes a lot of sense.

Hey, it's like you could never experience confidence without knowing insecurity.

It's a weird paradigm, isn't it?

And that insecurity could mean insecurity, like mental insecurity, Like, I don't like my body.

Yeah.

But it can also mean food insecurity.

Right.

It could also mean financial insecurity.

Right.

We can't really.

We can't really feel fully confident until we've overcome things.

Right.

Because all of us have garbage that have happened to us.

All of us have things that have.

Have completely shaped the person that we are and if we didn't have that, then we'd just be like, ignorance is bliss, right?

Sure, it'd be blissful, but we wouldn't actually understand what the difference of confidence would be, which is, again, that feeling of being on your ass.

I find, like, the older that I get, the more that I realize that I have to.

I have to chase uncomfortable situations, which is a weird.

It's a weird thing because I think most of my life I've been like, nah, I'd rather not do that.

Rather, I'd rather avoid that uncomfortable.

But, like, the older I get, I realize that, like, if I want to grow in business as a person, as a podcaster, as a human, I have to just continue to push my own boundaries and do things that make me feel very uncomfortable, even though they're scary.

But the funny thing about that is, is every single time I've done that, I've recognized after that it wasn't the fear that I was giving.

It was not fair.

Like, I was giving it so much more power than it deserved.

And I think for me, that is what's flipped the switch where it's like, okay, if that's been true with almost every challenge you faced, then there must be a lot more truths out there for you to go find.

And so I find myself now thinking, like, okay, like, there's a lot of things that scare me, right?

Like public speaking, probably coming my way.

Definitely something that freaks me out.

You know, even there are times on this podcast where I have moments where I'm still feeling like, okay, like, do I want to say that?

Do I want to push this boundary?

Is this something I really want to share with the world?

I think this is one of those episodes, really.

This is an episode where I've said some vulnerable things where it can definitely feel like, is this one that I want?

But, yeah, it has to go out because it's a growth moment for me.

And so it's so funny that, like, there are a lot of things that scare me, Alyssa.

But I'm also realizing that if I don't face them, I won't know.

I won't really know.

One day I might hit that thing that's absolutely soul crushingly terrifying.

But I haven't.

I haven't found it yet.

Exactly.

And even when, like, the worst things happen to us years later, we're able to kind of come back from them.

And sometimes it takes decades to come back from some of these things.

But at the end of the day, we usually.

You usually can find some kind of Light in it.

Years later, when you're in it, it's the worst thing.

And it's hard, and it's.

It's very hard to get out of it.

And when you're in it, that's when you go to a therapist.

Yeah.

Right.

To work through that.

When you feel out of it, that's when you come to a coach and we'll make your now what?

Plans.

Which is kind of a very.

This is kind of my differentiation between, like, therapists and coaches.

That's what I kind of see.

Yeah.

But I'm also really proud of you for being vulnerable.

It can be really, really hard to be vulnerable.

But I'm happy that you felt safe enough with me to do that today.

No, I appreciate it.

Like I said, it's been a growing experience for me this whole journey.

Right.

Like, it's 190 episodes.

Like, there's been.

I'm a way different Kelly than I was at episode one, and I couldn't have seen that coming.

And I think that that's the secret.

Like, for me, what I've realized in business, in podcasting, in human life, in parenting, you can't see what's coming.

And no matter how many plans you put in place, they're probably not going to happen at all the way you planned it.

The secret is just to be ready to say yes.

It's to be open to that opportunity.

And so I find myself trying to be open to as many opportunities as possible, knowing I don't know what the next podcast is.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, I do.

And when you said.

I'm trying to think of the words you said, that really stood out to me there.

You said, we don't know what's happening, and we just, like, it's inevitable that things are going to happen to us.

And all that we need is to, like, is to have that tools.

Tools to go forward.

I think that's kind of similar to what you said.

Yeah.

And I think that's exactly right.

Right.

Things are going to happen, but we need to have that tool belt.

And we also need to know that, like, we will overcome this.

Yeah.

Like, and even though it's not even happened yet, we will be able to overcome it because we've overcome so many things, and that's what real confidence looks like.

Yeah.

Know that you can overcome it.

Totally.

Totally.

And, like, you can overcome a lot more than you think.

Yeah.

It is crazy what we can.

What we can overcome.

Yeah.

And we see that in all areas of our life and in our World, but also in the world around us.

Right.

What people are able to go through and what people are able to be resilient through is quite a masterpiece.

Absolutely, absolutely.

Alyssa, this has been absolutely amazing.

Thank you for joining me today.

You offer a wide range of confidence building services and I wanted to chat about that today.

You know, get into your business.

I do.

Okay, here's my elevator pitch.

So like I said, I am the now what?

I help people figure out their action plan towards confidence and really figuring out what their goals are and then providing tools to get there.

So I do this through one on one coaching group, coaching through businesses as well as workshops and speaking.

Again, I really focus on tech and teens, but I've done kind of everything.

So if you're like, huh, this girl sounds kind of interesting, let me know and I'm sure we can talk chat about it.

And I think your company name, Let me introduce yourself.

Is one of the coolest company names I have.

I really love it too.

Thank you so much.

Yes.

Let me introduce yourself.

And then my products are called Confidence Redefined.

But yeah, let me introduce herself.

So that is my website, Let me introduce herself.

Com.

And I'm going to be sending Kelly.

I have a 30 day confidence challenge that does exactly what we talked about today.

Those small integral steps.

You can start building those tools now so that when something happens, which is inevitable, you can have those tools in your tool belt to pull.

So you'll be able to kind of access that.

And It's a free 30 day challenge.

Perfect, perfect.

And I'll have all the links up on all of our posts.

Alyssa, it's been amazing.

Thank you for coming on and building my confidence.

I appreciated that.

I got you.

I got you.

Until next time, this has been the business development podcast and we will catch you on the flip side.

This has been the business development podcast with Kelly Kennedy.

Kelly has 15 years in sales and business development experience within the Alberta oil and gas industry and founded his own business development firm in 2020.

His passion and his specialization is in customer relationship generation and business development.

The show is brought to you by Capital Business Development, your business development specialists.

For more, we invite you to the website at www.capitalbd.ca.

see you next time on the Business Business development podcast.