So my daughter's doctor comes into the room and tells her, you don't want a dead baby, do you?

And even though I am a labor and delivery nurse and an online birth educator who's helped thousands of women through birth, I spent 16 years as a high risk labor and delivery nurse.

I sat in the appointment and I found myself getting scared.

I want you to stay with me through the end of this video or podcast, however you're consuming it because what happened in that room on Monday, it's probably happening to some of you guys as well.

And by the end of this, you're gonna understand exactly how to handle it.

You guys, I'm Trish or Labor nurse Mama, as some of you guys know me, I was a labor and delivery nurse, high risk for over 16 years.

Traveled all over the country to some of the top facilities and I have given birth six times.

So let me set this up for you guys 'cause I'm still shook.

On Monday we go to the doctor's appointment.

I go with my daughter.

She is 37 weeks pregnant.

She'll be 38 weeks today actually, as I'm recording this and.

They are highly, highly recommending that she be induced at 39 weeks.

Now, before I get into what happened, I need you to understand something.

This is most important.

I am not here to tell you what to do.

I was induced with room my babies.

I support induction if it's medically necessary or it's what you want.

This isn't about anti induction.

I am not anti induction.

This is about what happened in that room and how it made us all feel.

And if I'm being completely honest, it shook me.

So I am still like reeling.

We go in, she gets an ultrasound.

The baby looks beautiful.

The ultrasound tech is like, she was a, a labor and delivery nurse you guys before for many years.

She's like, this baby is gorgeous.

Perfect.

Not too big, not too small, da da da.

Y'all know how I feel about ultrasound weights.

But anyway.

Baby looks gorgeous.

So after that, we go into the exam room and the doctor comes in and checks everything out.

The very first thing she says when she walks in, baby, looks amazing.

You look amazing.

Everything is perfect.

Baby's measuring great.

Heartbeat is perfect, fluid levels are great.

Like literally everything checked out perfectly.

And she acknowledged that.

And in the very next breath she says to Lainey, did you schedule your induction for next week?

And my daughter looks at her and is like, uh, no.

The doctor's like, why?

And Laney's, like you said, everything looks great.

Why?

And this is where it gets so freaking interesting.

The doctor says, and I quote, you don't want to have a de baby, do you?

And she starts talking about how there's so many risks and if you go past your due date, the studies show and recommendations are like, it's not good to go past your due date.

And you know, the risks are so much lower if you deliver at 39 weeks.

And here's some things to consider, bababababa I don't want you to have a dead baby.

Now if you're watching this on video, you're seeing my face 'cause I'm literally flabbergasted.

How is it 2026?

I started Labor Nurse Mama back in 2017 because of this stuff.

Nine years later, this is still happening.

How is this happening?

I'm sitting there trying my darnedest to stay calm.

This is my daughter.

This is my granddaughter, and I'm also a professional with tons of experience.

But inside you guys, my heart is racing and the doctor is continuing.

She's talking about the risk of stillbirth.

And she's talking about how going past your due date is so high.

The baby is absolutely fine to be born.

Now the baby is ready.

Well, if she's ready, then she'll come.

She went on and on and on about how dangerous it is to go past 40 weeks, and here's where my labor nurse mama, nurse brain kicks in.

This is what I tell all my students.

We talk about this almost every stinking Wednesday on our pregnancy happy hour with our students.

If they confront you with something you're not expecting, don't let your emotions go high.

Hello.

You know, 'cause that's what I did.

Sorry, but I did.

Don't respond emotionally.

Just say thank you for your recommendations.

Can you print the studies and let us see the actual statistics that you're referring to?

And so finally when my brain calms down and I'm like thinking I say this to her, and you know what she says?

Well, I could, but I can't print them right now.

But you can go look at ACOG yourself and find out that that is the recommendation.

She couldn't even print the studies that she's using to terrify my child.

I am flabbergasted you guys.

Now I'm gonna come back to some of what those studies actually say in just a minute.

Because what they say and what she implied are two very different things.

But first I need to tell you what happened next because this is where it gets even more interesting slash frustrating as heck.

So I did, I hope, stayed calm.

My daughter said she could tell I was heating up and I said, okay, well I understand you're making a recommendation.

Can you help us understand what specific risk factors.

Lainey has that makes induction necessary right now.

And she says a couple things, and one of which that I remember is I'm recommending it because if something were to happen to your baby, then, you know, and she talks about like, this is the general recommendation.

And she literally admits that her recommendation was about like chances, not about my daughter's specific situation.

And I tell you guys this all the time.

Care needs to be individualized.

My daughter is 20.

She's healthy.

Now.

Look, I get it.

I've been in healthcare.

I understand malpractice crisis.

It exists.

I understand that doctors are scared, but we should not be making medical decisions based on fear of lawsuits instead of individual patient care.

That is a problem.

And here's the thing that really got me fired up.

This is what you need to understand.

Okay, y'all, this is a fired up episode.

I sit there in that room with all the knowledge I have with 16 years of working in high risk labor and delivery with having walked this path and educated over 15,000 women through our courses online.

All the research and all the women that I have bolstered up and prepared for this talk with all the births I've seen you guys, I felt scared.

I actually sat there and I talked to Steve Ware my, my Honey later that night and was like, what if something happens to baby girl?

What if you know, she doesn't do this and something goes wrong?

And then I had this moment where I thought, if I can't handle the fear that this woman is talk about induction, she's inducing fear in me.

How do you guys do it?

Because here's what most of you guys are dealing with.

You don't have my background.

You don't have all the research, you haven't read all the stats, you haven't seen thousands of births.

You are just trying to do what's best for your baby.

And when a doctor comes in, someone you are supposed to trust, someone with all the medical knowledge and authority tells you that you might have a dead baby.

How are you supposed to resist that?

I, I, here's the other thing y'all.

I wanna talk about this.

I wanna talk about this because I asked her?

Straight out?

Are you referring to the arrived trial?

These are studies that a lot of doctors will use to push induction at 39 weeks, and she says like, I don't know what you're talking about, basically, is what she says to me.

I damn well know.

She knew what I was talking about.

So let me break down what the research actually says because this is important.

Yes, there is a slight increase in stillbirth risk after 42 weeks, but we need to talk about actual numbers, not just fear at 40.

Weeks.

It's about one in 1000 pregnancies that have a risk, 41 weeks, two in a thousand at 42 weeks, it's about three in a thousand.

So the risk goes up, right?

We're talking like 0.1% to 0.2%, but there's also signs of these problems.

And I said that to the doctor.

I'm like, the baby looks beautiful, Lainey looks beautiful.

And she's like, well, we don't want that to change.

So what they're not telling you is there's also increased risk with induction.

Induction increase your risk of all these dangers, especially C-section, and especially if it's your first baby and your cervix is in favorable.

C-sections come with their own risk infection, hemorrhage, longer recovery risk for future pregnancies.

Induction leads to more and more interventions, continuous monitoring, epidurals assisted delivery.

Each intervention comes with its own risk profile, and the thing that matters is every single stink in pregnancy is different.

Every single person has different risk factors.

My daughter, she is so low on the risk factor.

Factoring no GDM, no high blood pressure, no issues with the baby, perfect fluid levels, perfect growth.

She's healthy and baby's healthy.

So the question isn't, should every one be induced 39 weeks, the question is, what makes sense for this woman sitting in front of me right now?

Ugh.

I'm so frustrated with this.

After the appointment, we walk outside.

Now mind you, I am feeling a little overwhelmed.

I know actually, honestly, y'all Lainey handled it better than I did.

Lainey, like she's been practicing her no skill her whole life since she was born.

So she has it down pat, but we walk out in the parking lot.

Oh, I forgot to tell you guys this before I say that.

The doctor looks over at Dawson, her partner, and says.

Well, you know, this is your baby too.

What do you want?

As if he's not in an agreement, like, you know, she also said, I know your mom's voice is way more powerful in your head than mine, as if my daughter doesn't have a brain.

And it was so manning you guys, she was so disrespectful to my daughter.

I could not believe it.

So back to the parking lot.

We walk up to the parking lot after the appointment.

I'm shaking my daughter's chill, right?

She's not.

She's chill.

And we talk and I said the same thing I'm gonna say to you.

I said, baby, this is your decision.

This is not mine.

It's not hers, it's yours.

The doctor can give you recommendations.

I can give you recommendations.

I can share my knowledge and my experience.

You.

You girl.

You do your own research, but at the end of the day, you are the one who has to make this decision.

You are the mama of this baby, and I also told her this, and this is really important.

Whatever you decide, I support you 100%.

If you wanna be induced girl, I'll be right there with you and we'll have the best induction ever.

If you wanna wait, I'll support that too.

There is no wrong choice here as long as it's your choice made with information.

Not made from fear-mongering because here's what I want all of you guys to understand.

Whether you have an induction or you wait for spontaneous labor, whether you have a medicated birth or an unmedicated birth, whether you birth at home or in the hospital, none of that determines whether you are good mom.

What matters is that you are making an informed decision that you're asking questions, that you're asking for proof of these studies they're quoting, that you're advocating for yourself and your baby, and that's really hard to do when someone is using fear tactics.

Someone in power is using fear tactics.

It's frustrating.

So what I really want you to take away from this, number one, you're allowed to ask questions.

You're allowed to ask for the stats, not just fear-based statements.

You're allowed to ask about your specific risk factors.

You're allowed to ask questions.

Number two, you're allowed to get a second opinion.

You know, you may have 10 doctors in one practice or three, they may not all agree.

You're allowed to get another opinion.

If it doesn't feel right, talk to another provider.

Number three, you're allowed to take time to think about it.

Unless there's a true emergency, like the baby's heart rate is dropping right now, or you're having some kind of crazy emergency, you have time to consider your options, which is what I tell my girls all the time.

And of course, I was literally getting emotional.

Number four, you need support, whether that's a doula, a birth educator, a trusted family member who's been through it, you need someone in your corner who isn't swayed by fear tactics.

And number five, this is the most important one.

Trust yourself.

You, this is your body.

You know your body.

You know your baby.

You have a maternal instinct.

And don't let anyone, especially a doctor, make you doubt that now.

I don't know what my daughter will end up deciding at this point.

She does not wanna be induced and she was not swayed.

You know, we are gonna talk through it all and we are going to figure that out together.

But her in the lead, what I do know for sure is she's not gonna make this decision from a place of fear.

She's gonna make it from a place of knowledge and power, and that is what I want for each one of you.

I see you.

I know this is hard.

I know it's scary, especially when you have someone in authority.

Saying things like, you don't want a dead baby, of course I don't want a dead baby, and I know that you wanna do what's best for a baby, and I'm here to tell you that you can do it.

You can ask questions, you can advocate for yourself, and you can make informed decisions out of knowledge.

This is why, this is why Labor Nurse Mama was born.

Okay, mama.

If you're dealing with pressure at your appointments, if you're feeling scared and you don't know what questions to ask.

I am here for you.

This is why we do what we do.

I want you to have the information you need to know, and the confidence you need to advocate for yourself.

If you are listening to this episode, you can grab $50 off the birth bundle.

Go to labor nurse mama.com/calm, CALM.

Use the code.

Pod, POD five zero, pod 50, and you'll get $50 off If this video helped you, if you're as enraged and frustrated as I am, share it with another mama who is expecting a baby because we need to stop making decisions from fear and start making them from knowledge, and I don't want any of you to feel alone.

Make sure you hit subscribe if you're not already, because I'm gonna keep bringing you the real.

Unfiltered raw truth about birth that nobody else wants to talk about.

As always, I will see you again next Friday.

Bye for now.