Everybody's got an opinion, Every Californian and Virginian and Virginian.

It's so hot to tell who to Hulu, Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help

which one hates

Baby, it's time to Review That.

Review!.

Hello.

Hi, and hello listeners.

Welcome once again, to Review That Review, the podcast dedicated to reviewing

reviews were just like Cisco and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic

mm-hmm that voice was Chelsey Donn.

that voice was Trey Gerrald.

Our voices together, create that little dust bunny that we like to call

The review Queens.

That's

Cheerio, Queens and

Queens

Cheerio to all of our Patreon members who have exclusive access to

so much Mo

so if you wanna join them, why Donn don't you go visit our Patreon page?

You can find that at Patreon dot com slash Review That Review, or just go to our

How are you?

I'm good.

Everything's good.

I'm hoping Goldie's gonna make it through this recording.

She's a little feisty.

She was doing a little ankle biting before we got started.

So hoping for the best.

Well, as Mariah, once sang, you can make it through the rain.

Exactly.

Exactly.

How's

Donn know girl, I was asleep, passed out

Wow.

Welcome.

I woke up about 10 minutes ago when I texted you and said, this time's still good.

And you actually said, yeah.

So I was like, okay, I have to get up.

So here I am.

That's why I had to restart the beginning.

That's why I said something about dust bunnies.

It's gonna be a fun show.

at least you're rested, right?

I think, I don't know.

I'm kind of, sort of like out of sorts.

I'm like, am I still asleep?

you could still be asleep.

This could all be a simulation who knows

This is a

this is a dream.

This is a dream.

Well, while you're dreaming, do you, were you thinking of like things that

No.

I don't know why I just put chocolate covered all in

Oh, I do.

Cuz they're

Something's something's really off what's happening.

No, I, it was really like a power nap, so I don't think I actually was sleeping or

you didn't dream.

I didn't dream, but I've recently discovered Ben and Jerry's ice cream.

I know that like that has existed and like, I'm way behind.

I'm just not a sweets person.

We've talked about a

well what flavor specifically?

Well, I realize that Ben and Jerry's will deliver to your house.

Did you know

Wow.

Well, I mean, not everywhere, but like, like, is it like a Ben and Jerry's

Yeah.

It's like a, yes.

I didn't know this existed.

I thought it was just like packaged ice cream.

There is a storefront right next to like where I was living at NYU

And I think on your birthday, you got a free scoop.

that sounds.

There was like a storefront on the upper west side when we lived there.

And I ordered there a couple of times, but it's intimidating.

It's hard to start Ben.

And Jerry's because as you just asked, like, what's the flavors you're talking about because

So then you have to like Google the contents.

It's like, just give me vanilla.

I'm not a very flavory person, but I'll tell you in the last week I, when you order from

So it's like, I'm sure I don't think it's made in that store, but there's

Like when you open the lid and it's like, not frozen crazy, like when you buy it

Is it in the Ben and Jerry's packaging or is it in like a cup?

no, it's in like their like packaging, but it doesn't have like, obviously

So then there's a little white sticker and they like write it with a fun colored Sharpie.

My favorite flavor is coffee, coffee buzz, buzz.

that sounds right for you.

God.

It's

I love America dream.

Okay.

So, well, tell me,

It's vanilla base for sure.

And then it has pieces of like chocolate covered waffle cone inside of it.

Oh my God.

It's so freaking good.

I can actually tell you where my discovery came because I was bored a couple

Sure.

And they were like interviewing the taste tester for, at Ben.

And Jerry's, it was like this like 70 year old man.

He has a gold plated spoon and they were like talking through how they like

But, um, I think that's probably what put it in my head, which is

I just realized that anyway, we got into this tangent, but you were asking me

Lodge Complaint.

okay.

It happened to you today.

And I, as I was going through it, I was like, oh, this is absolutely my Complaint.

For later, I have to Lodge a Complaint against speech to text translations.

I was texting with Chelsey this afternoon while driving, but safely, I was

And so, you know, it's like, you speak free will, and then like, it like is circling

But it's like sometimes a couple of words are off or like, it doesn't understand when you paused

So then it's just like all of a sudden you keep going.

And then, and it's like, what?

Or I was texting to David and I said, oh, I was like, there's debris everywhere.

And.

When it read back what it was sending him.

It said strawberries like it, that, and then I had this like thing, like, okay,

Cuz then he is gonna be like, don't text and drive.

So then I would have to be like, that's me talking through the speech to text feature

And I was texting with you.

And then I was like, I sent like four texts in a row and I was like, I

you're like the reason I'm sending you these things in a row.

And then you're just like, Okay.

Or what, like, that's not even what you said, but it's like, anyway, I'm just really

And it's just so stressful and frustrating because it's annoying your I'm someone

And it seems like it's just inevitable.

And I, I don't like that, cuz I can't, you can't rely on a robot to be a human.

And I think that's a tricky, that's a tricky route.

Yeah.

Anyway.

Do you have any experience here?

It's really frustrating to me.

Well, I do.

And like, so the thing is I, I find it very distracting to be driving and concerned

Because of that, like, I am gonna have to check it.

So I that's, I mean, you know, this, I am a caller for that reason, because if I'm driving,

Like, as if they're like accosted, like I'm attacking them because I'm

If I call you and you're busy, you are under zero obligation to reply.

In fact, if I'm leaving you a voicemail, you're on zero obligation to acknowledge

Cause I understand that that's like easier just to read real quick, but why are we acting like you're

Like, I feel like this was really became a millennial thing.

Like older generations don't have as much of a problem with this, but starting from

It's like, it's become very acceptable to hate on people who call and leave voicemails.

Why.

Yeah.

I feel like there is that, um, cultural statement.

It's like this could have been an email or whatever, but it is funny because I had the

I'll just call you.

I had the impulse to say, well, friendship over, but I don't know how, if I actually really feel

like,

like,

a, that's also like go to therapy and work that out with your therapist.

If you really feel like a phone call is a costing, you that's like a bigger issue.

I think people really do feel that way though.

Do you have people that just call you that you wish would not?

no, I don't.

Cuz I am like fine with the phone.

And I think that my fellow friends that are fine with the phone are gonna call me and they're gonna

And this person does not like it.

If I call them without giving them like huge, fair warning, like there's

And for me, that's anxiety inducting, because that means if I'm working with

Things are going on.

I have a thought about something while I'm driving or whatever it is.

I need to pull over to text message you that thing, because if I just call you and like,

Like, I need to reserve the time to call you.

And I just think it's crap.

I mean, I think there are limits.

I think we don't call anybody before 10:00 AM.

We don't call anybody after 10:00 AM.

10:00 PM.

Sorry.

You know, if it's especially a business like or work related thing.

Yeah.

So I think that there's etiquette certainly, but I think to like blanket

I Donn don't do whatever.

And like you're in a working relationship with other people.

How is that acceptable?

I think it's crazy.

Quite frankly.

Right.

Chelsea's not talking about me just FYI.

I'm definitely not talking about Trey.

I'm talking about someone else.

Every time you kept saying that, I was like, I wonder if people

I wonder if it's all around some sort of interest and boundaries.

Because when I think back to when we only had rotary phones, you had to answer

We didn't even have voicemails at a certain time in history.

And now it's like you have 24 hour access to any human being with texting or emailing or calling.

So even voice memos, we are, oh, Natalie who sings a theme song.

She loves to leave a voice memo, which is also like, that's actually

interesting.

Cause I thought maybe I could do the voice memo while driving, but actually

You can do that.

hard, right?

So, like, I don't know why the voice memos were okay.

But the voicemails weren't, that's a whole nother thing.

But the thing about the voice memo is that like it is for me, it's like you can't unread

So that's kind of its own annoyance.

I hear that.

the point is I don't like write any of the forms off, I think use your form.

It's up to me in terms of the boundaries thing.

And this is the last thing I'll say about it.

Cause obviously I'm getting heated, but in terms of the boundary thing, I'm all

I just don't understand why we think it's a boundary crosser.

For me to call you or leave a voicemail.

It is within your right as a boundary holder to not listen to that voicemail right away or not

But there's nothing to do with me breaking your boundary by making a phone call, especially

It is interesting, cuz in my relationship with David, he feels the same

But like even today he called me and I didn't answer it because I was trying to

I was like, well, he'll call a second time.

But, and that you really got heated and that wasn't even your written down Complaint for

It's on the list.

Certainly it's on the list.

It wasn't the one I was gonna do today, but then when you got started, I was just

Oh, well,

Well, now that we're so hot and bothered

Yeah.

Let's talk about hot things or things that are, should be hot, but aren't, that sounds like,

Sure.

but let's do it.

Let's jump in.

Should we let's go

we should, uh, oh, it's a versus episode.

Let's do it.

Assess that Kvetch.

today?

Chelsey and I are going to cover a One-Star-Zinger and a five star on the same topic.

Today's topic is the USC dining hall.

That's right.

All you college kids who are now back in school right now for this versus episode, Trey selected

So to determine who rates first, we gotta flip that quota.

I think it's my turn to guess.

Yeah.

So you ready?

All right, I'm gonna go with heads.

It's tales.

I feel like I've gone first, the last 19 episodes.

fine.

That's what the universe wanted.

So Trey is gonna go first.

So today we're covering, as Trey mentioned.

A USC dining hall.

This particular dining hall is called EVK, which stands for everybody's kitchen dining

According to the USC website, everybody's kitchen offers home style favorites made

They offer monthly theme nights where they transform the dining room, bring in entertainment

What are you just, mm.

I just said mm-hmm but okay.

Okay.

Each residential community is anchored by an all you care to eat D venue, offering

At the time of this recording, the EVK dining hall has 34 Yelp reviews with an

So right down the middle, it has not been claimed on Yelp by USC.

Okay.

So with all this background info in mind, well, before we jump in, I just wanna

Trey?

I did my freshman year of college, but never after that.

What about you?

same.

And I think that like that all you can you care to dying thing again?

Not that I'm like, like pointing any fingers, but the whole freshman 15

Mmm.

Cuz I Donn, Donn don't think that like we're supposed to just be

I don't know it was, it was dangerous for me cuz there was a dining hall in my freshman.

Well, it's interesting to me, cuz my memory is that it's all you can eat and it's

Care to eat.

Right.

Well, I think they're trying to say like, you don't have to eat at

In these certain hours.

exactly.

Ugh.

It was dangerous, but it was, it was clutch anyway with all that background in front of mine.

I'm so curious to hear what this One-Star-Zinger has to say, Trey.

So let's, let's jump right in.

Let's do it.

Review That Review.

Alrighty.

So yes, I today have the One-Star-Zinger Yelp review for the EVK, which

I know Everybody's it's funny, but yeah,

I think it would be BK.

Well, whatever who cares.

Um, so today is One-Star-Zinger is written by J dot CT.

So I guess it's Jesus Christ, everyone

Oh, yes.

So did he go to USC?

guess so.

Okay.

So this is JCS One-Star-Zinger Yelp review for the EVK dining hall at USC.

Let's hear it.

Keep it simple.

Is the motto placed prominently on the wall of everybody's kitchen, a less than

At first, I thought, keep it simple meant this was the place to go for the basics while

Et cetera, simple cooked vegetables, several types of meat, a concept I happen to like as time

Chiefly minimum effort, meaning only cooking, good, fresh food.

When a lot of visiting students or parents are on campus or keeping it to simple,

Nice and cold.

My confusion is furthered by the seeming lack of ability to fund better quality food in this

It well represents the USC practice of spending on any and all things that make it look good,

Fight on.

okay.

Alright.

Jesus Christ JC.

Um, I wish they had given us more information about the caterpillar incident, cuz it's like

I sort of wanted to know like, is this a regular thing there's like constantly caterpillars

time

This is like not the best food.

And one time I have this situation, I, I know that this isn't really a part of the

Did you know that dining halls across America certainly put laxatives in the food

What now?

as a safety precaution?

Because so many people, like let's say there was a, some sort of like out

They can't afford for like that many people to get sick.

So they put laxatives in the food so that it works through the system faster.

And you have less of a chance of getting sick.

Oh, my word.

That's such an American concept.

Isn't it such a American problem solving.

Well, I agree.

I agree with the thoughts here about needing a little more detail

This is sort of not helpful for us to write this review, but I will tell you in reading

that's crazy.

bar.

Wow.

weird.

Right.

That is weird.

I do know that like, when I go to the farmer's market and stuff, sometimes

But that's outside.

yeah.

And that's very fresh.

It's a

cuz it's fresh and it's like on, off the farm and they don't

So I don't know.

That's

But that's different though, Chelsey, because you're gonna

wash it

It's not like putting it on a plate to fork,

You're right.

That's this is like we should be serving.

I thought it was an interesting.

Note that they like really spruce up the dining hall for the parents and prospective students.

Mm-hmm

something I wouldn't have really thought of, but I do think that

Like, I just think that's such a weird thing to be in the dining hall and be like,

Must be, uh, prospective students, you know, touring the school or something like that.

Like I just think it's interesting to change the menu for that, but it makes sense, I guess.

Yeah, it's, it's also, I wanna point out here, like this is sort of spelling

To me, it feels like they got a thesis statement by like looking around and they're like, Hmm, it's

I'm gonna structure this five paragraph essay around,

the concept of keep it simple.

and I'm gonna keep bringing it back up.

And the vocabulary words are very rich in this and they use a lot of dashes, a lot of commas.

They really are adding, supporting evidence minus more details about the caterpillar.

But I like that they circle back and bring up the caterpillar one last time.

Yes.

It really does read pretty and it feels like I felt nice reading it.

Like I felt like it made me feel smart.

What, what do we think about like the, the tackling onto this review of

I'm glad you said that.

Cuz it does feel like UN it doesn't feel part of the

It's not really like on point with the

No, I don't think anyone.

No.

I don't think anyone in the kitchen has anything to do with the water pressure and the dorms,

Exactly.

So I do think that's a little odd,

they're sort of adding that as like an overarching theme of being a student

right?

I like that they had the pretension to refer to them and their classmates as bright, young minds

of our generation.

of our generation,

Mm-hmm I also like the phrase skimping.

Yeah, I do feel like that's a common thing in college is like trying

USC is similar to NYU.

It's like, you know, a lot of spoiled kids with a lot of very high expectations.

It does.

I'm not leading the witness, but it does make me wonder if like, is JC a little bit more picky?

Like, do we think that they're just like an average person?

Or I know that like a lot of the people that I went to school with, especially the guys were

I maybe did.

I know I definitely didn't pass freshman year, cuz like I wanted higher quality food.

I didn't want dining hall food, but I also like don't necessarily

Like knock on all the wood.

I don't think I ever got like food poisoning or anything like that.

And that I feel like is like a real measure of a nightmare.

So I do wonder if JCS opinion applies to everybody.

Well, it is interesting cuz there, cuz I get the opinion that JC is just saying

right.

True.

True, true, true.

So that doesn't feel as bratty to me, but it does.

I do have it a, I do have an overall feeling that JC feels, uh, what's the word.

They, they, they sort of have a chip on their shoulder that everyone is out to get

do feel that a little bit.

a premier university, but maybe that's just more supporting evidence.

I Donn don't

And maybe that is more of like a college thing.

Like having been really knocked off your, like when you go to a college, especially a

Like everything, the end all be all is getting to a great school.

And then afterwards, like life really hasn't kicked JC and the nuts yet, you know,

I mean, to me, I it's funny, like, I don't think that dining halls are gonna be nice.

Like, I don't think that they're gonna be good.

So I, I don't know,

I think there's like varying degrees, you know,

I suppose, but I they're obviously not fine dining.

They're not fine dining.

And they're not claiming to be, especially like, no matter what way you wanna

You know, clearly it is indicating like, yeah, we're keeping it simple.

We're keeping it basic.

So it's not gonna be.

Do you think there's value in this.

I think there is, I guess, like other than the cold

I don't know if this feels very One-Star-Zinger to me.

I think, I think of One-Star-Zinger reviews as being like more nightmarish,

Whereas this feels a little bit more like two star, three star where it's like, it's fine.

I ate there, like on the days when perspective students were there, it was good on days

But like, what is so catastrophic in this review?

That merits a One-Star-Zinger cause One-Star-Zinger, that's a statement.

That's a good point.

Like I wonder maybe JC did not personally have the caterpillar in their food cuz I'm

That's really One-Star-Zinger.

I agree with you.

I do feel like they're just saying like, this is not good and it doesn't meet

I think that's yeah.

See, I forgot about the caterpillar because it just wasn't attached to any emotion,

Like, instead of being like, I was on board until caterpillar, you know,

also thinking like, maybe that's like an ongoing, urban myth,

Like I could see it's a college, like some stupid science major was like, ha ha.

Watch what I'm doing.

Ethel.

know why I said it.

Okay.

I think that this, like, I am getting, this is not lair and that it's not that great.

Right.

I agree.

I think what, where JC is succeeding is they're really setting up my expectations.

That's the word I was gonna say.

They're telling me to not expect anything.

Good.

Right.

Which I appreciate.

Yeah.

I do.

I, I, I believe them, but I also sort of feel like for some reason, I'm having a hard

on is like a USC thing.

I wanna say that's like a Trojans fight

oh, oh, oh thank you.

You're welcome.

Is USC like the little mascot guy?

That's like the Trojan

Yeah.

yeah, yeah, yeah.

I can see his little head.

Um, alright.

Do you think that this will be a common experience for people?

I do.

I

I kind of do too.

If the broccoli is yellow more than one time, that's a problem.

Like it's broccoli.

It's broccoli's everywhere.

It's not like, it's not like we're talking about Flamen it's like.

that, yeah.

That's definitely not great,

I would be upset though, if I was a student and I had this meal plan, cuz I remember

right?

Exactly.

to restaurants every so often, but like you, you can't

paying for this unlimited plan and that's the whole idea.

Yeah.

Now we

The couple of chuckles,

I think they were trying for humor.

I don't know how successful JC was, but I do think that they were making an effort.

this might be a show first for me, but I was entertained reading it.

Like it does feel like an essay to me.

I, I felt like this is a scholarly piece of writing, which is like, seems

Like I, I enjoyed J's literary voice while reading it.

Yeah.

I think that JC made a real Valiant effort, especially with the

I think we can tell that they're a college student, like you said, they're

They're they're really, uh, putting together a narrative.

All right.

I feel like I've, I've gathered all the Intel I need,

Yeah, let's crown let's crown Jesus.

All right.

So ChelseyBD and I each have our own set of zero to five crown cards in an effort to be fair

We will simultaneously reveal our ratings.

The Queens are Tabulating

to.

All right.

I'm holding up three and a half crowns.

Trey is holding up four crowns.

I went with three and a half for JC, you know, a little bit above middle of the road.

I wanted more info in the caterpillar.

I love a personal story.

As you know, if we're gonna drop some shade, I wanna know really the personal event that

I don't really feel like JC succeeded on that for me.

I think they succeeded in a lot of other places and that's why I went with three and a half, but

Well, I said four because interesting.

I, I actually appreciate the cool collectedness throughout this review, which I think we got into

Raging horrifying experience.

And then I also found myself wanting more details.

So I said four, because I think it's beautifully written.

I'm, it's hard for me to tell the truthful shady scale here, because I can't tell if JC

Like, it seems like the world is showing up in a certain way to JC that life's hard and no

But, um, I, but I actually enjoy the review.

I think the lasting impact here is like, I'm gonna turn all of my romaine leaves upside down.

I'm gonna like dig around and like, you know, I don't know if I would, I would probably

Or maybe seek out other dining calls,

I would also know that when I tour the school, it's probably not gonna be a good rec.

Uh, it's not gonna be

representation.

Yeah.

That's all smoke and mirrors and acting.

I'm acting.

Right.

I agree.

All right,

Well that was fun.

Should we, should we take a quick break?

Yeah, let's do a quick game break.

And then when we come back, we will hear Chelsea's five star review, and then we

God, I can't wait to decide BRB

Love it.

B B

B B bye.

B, B B.

Bye.

Now.

Hold your crown.

We'll be right back.

Wow.

Not yet.

Okay.

Did you wanna do

wow.

I mean, you're usually the one that does

could do it

You do it.

fight on it's game time.

That's right.

It is game time.

We have a brand new game.

Trey has no idea.

I've created this game specifically for our back to college episode.

Trey, are you ready to play a brand new game?

I'm ready.

Okay.

Should we do that weird Hawaiian music.

All right.

Trey.

This game is called professor or Kvetch.

Okay.

Is it a class that is taught by a real professor or is it the title

All right.

So you're gonna tell me professor or Fetcher.

so it's like, is this a class or is this a subject

Do you think it's a real class or did I pull this from the title of a Kvetch

review?

Got it.

Okay.

Are you ready?

Um,

or Kvetch

okay.

Yeah, I'm ready.

Here we go.

for the love of Snoop.

is a Fetcher.

right.

It's Kvetch.

Yay.

What if Harry Potter is real?

Well, I'm thrown off by the tents there.

What if Harry Potter is real?

I think if it was a class, it would be what if Harry Potter was real?

So I'm gonna say this is a feer.

it is a professor.

It is a class taught at Appalachian state university in Boone, North Carolina.

Whoa,

Right.

Okay.

Here we go.

Death to fast fashion.

this is a Kvetch.

Yes, that is right.

Trey.

That is AFE.

Wait, was that about H and M

Oh.

Death to fashion was an Amazon review written by HR for a book called how to get dressed

Okay.

Hillary RA?

Exactly.

All right.

The sociology of Miley Cyrus

Oh, I think you might be trying to trick me with the word sociology.

So I must say this is a Kvetch.

professor, this is a class taught at Skidmore college.

What?

Here we go.

Okay.

Macon whoopy, Goldbergs cannon.

This is a course professor.

course.

It's a course.

It's a based college by professor Charles.

I Nero he's self-identified I think created this class.

All right.

Street fighting mathematics.

right.

This is a, this is a course taught at MIT of all places.

I know.

Isn't it funny?

Okay.

I'm tired right now.

Tight watery, the good life on a dollar a day.

I think this is about water bottle, good life company.

So I'm gonna say this is a Fetcher.

That is professor.

It's a class at Alfred university flat earth for me.

this is without a doubt.

Fetcher.

It's a convention.

You're right.

You're

is that for

It is an Amazon review written by Amazon.

Good old Amazon customer for Einstein the life and universe by Walter Isaacson.

earth?

For me?

That's funny.

I know, I know.

Okay.

All right.

Deconstructing TV's Buffy.

This is a professor.

It is.

It's a class at Emerson college.

Okay.

Stupidity

This could be both, but I think it's sick Fetcher.

professor is a class at accidental college.

The amazing world of bubbles.

this is a vecher.

It is a course at Caltech.

how do you teach a class on bubbles?

I know.

Okay.

The physics of star Trek.

I could see this being a book, but I'm gonna say this is a course.

This is a professor.

It is a professor at Santa Clara university.

Okay.

Only the classiest of artwork.

Fetcher.

That's right.

Okay.

This is an Amazon review written by Kathleen B for a portrait of Danny DeVito and his beloved ham.

Yes.

Tree climbing.

That's right.

Tree climbing is a one credit course that you can take at Cornell university.

Okay.

ready.

I'm try.

Okay.

Oh, look a chicken.

it is a class totted Belmont university in Nashville, Tennessee.

Okay.

Yep.

Okay.

Materialism and lack of introspection.

I really feel like this could be both.

I'm gonna say it's Kvetch.

You're right.

It is a Kvetch.

It is an Amazon review written by Alyssa M of, of the book, Chris

Whoa,

Okay.

Surviving the coming zombie apocalypse.

professor,

Wow.

I'm surprised you got that so quickly.

That is a cause at Michigan state university.

Okay.

Arguing with judge Judy

professor.

that's right,

I could see that being like a law course.

right.

University of California, Berkeley.

Okay.

There's like so many good ones.

It's so hard for me to like stop,

can do some on the after show too.

yeah, we'll do more on the after show.

I always pick so many.

That was fun.

Trey.

I think you actually did pretty well.

How do you feel?

I feel good.

So I got 11, but I missed six.

So I think that it's winning over 50% with, uh, with the curve.

I call that street fighting mathematics.

I got that a pass.

How did you guys do listeners?

Let us know call in.

Did you beat Trey?

If you did congratulations to you?

Review That Review.

All righty.

We are back from that Rosing game break.

I feel rased and wow.

Did I do good?

Now Chelsey, it's your turn.

Let's hear this other side, the flip side of the quarter.

One might say, let's hear the heads of USC dining hall, Chelsey.

What have you got for us?

So this review is written by petsy P E T C Y Y.

Pet C Y, and petsy gave, uh, the dining hall.

EVK five stars.

Okay.

Okay, here we go.

It's good.

BC.

I feel included.

In everybody's kitchen.

I wish the experience could last forever, but unfortunately I have

If sleep wasn't a thing I would live in the soup section of EVK.

I ate the salad, some of the best leaves I've ever put in my mouth for dessert.

I got the ice cream, there were three options, but only one of them worked that's okay.

Because that's the exact one.

I wanted leave it to EVK to know exactly what the people want.

Really an institution created to cater to the masses.

Here's the drink?

I had poetic an emotional name that brought tears into my eyes.

Blueberry spa water PLS, eat here.

I beg of you.

It was an out of body experience.

What

Mm.

do you think that this was a joke review?

I think it is a joke, but I also think the petsy probably likes

What what's Ew.

I'm just imagining like the slop of a so.

But I'm also coming into this from JCS review.

So let me, let me erase that for a

Right.

Let's put That's cause like, have you ever gotten to whole foods?

And they have like all those like soup things there is that gross,

guess what I was bringing into the conversation, which I'm gonna take out is

Okay.

So let me rewind here.

I have a question here.

Petsy says that they have three nozzles for the ice cream, but only

Cuz that's one they wanted.

Okay.

Well, what if you wanted one of the two that wasn't there that doesn't

Yeah.

I think that we have a similar situation with both of these where like, maybe we're not assigning the

what is this saying about the future of America?

But I do like that.

Like they didn't just wax poetic.

Like they owned up to the fact that there were three options and only one of them worked.

I think this is a perfect example of two people who really did have different expectations.

Like petsy likes the soup, she's in it for the lettuce.

She she's in it for the ice cream.

She's in it.

She loved the blueberry spa water,

You know what I just thought about?

I am imagining those like frozen yogurt machines where it's like vanilla, swirl and chocolate.

So if two of them weren't working, that means they ran out of either

Right.

Cause it's two flavors and the middle one is both.

So if you're out of two, that means they ran outta

Uh, yeah, but I guess it also could just be like vanilla chocolate strawberry.

It could just be like

Have you ever seen that in your life?

Yeah,

You have seen a frozen yogurt machine.

That was three flavors.

for sure.

Yeah.

I mean, look at like 16 handles, there's like 16 different flavors, right?

Well, that's called 16 handles.

I'm talking about a dining hall ice cream machine.

saying yes.

The dining hall ice cream machine is usually vanilla chocolate in the middle is chocolate.

So you're, that's an interesting point, Trey, because if it, if we are to believe that

Well then yeah, chocolate would definitely be down and the vanilla chocolate

Right.

So.

Anyway, if that or the case, I'm a vanilla girl.

I would be happy.

Like, like petsy,

You know, the reason that I think this is probably jokey, there's

So they could just stay there.

That feels very not truthful.

Also some of the best leaves I've ever

I know I ever put in my mouth.

Ew.

I know

Cause see, now I'm starting to wonder like, maybe this is so below

maybe.

Okay.

What about the review makes this question that maybe there is some truth

Yeah.

Well, I guess the specific things that they mentioned make me feel like there's

Like the soup section and.

The Le the leave.

So it's like, I guess there's a salad bar and the ice cream and the, I don't know.

I mean, like, people are dramatic, especially in college.

So I would, you know, how like different dining halls kind of Excel in different areas.

I would buy that, like, this is the one you wanna go to, if you wanna get like the, although

can I ask you a question?

When was yours?

When did pet see?

Oh, cause I saw a bunch of reviews that were One-Star-Zinger that said

Oh, interesting.

I don't know.

I mean, it definitely is a little bit jokey.

Admittedly, there were not that many, five star reviews for, you know, obviously we

You know, there weren't very many F star reviews, so I didn't have a ton to pull from.

So I don't think that petsy is like the end all be all in terms of whether or not I

Hmm.

you know?

Do you think there's unique information in this review?

I mean, I learned that there's a soup section.

yes.

right.

And that there's ice cream and blueberry spot water.

also feels like the opposite end of JC because the spelling grammar, I D K L

Very colloquial PLS, BC.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Are there misspellings or just, um, lazy spellings?

No, no misspellings, just like it reads like a text message.

You know what I mean?

Like, and it's two years old.

I don't know how old the other one was, but like, it does feel very like gen Z, you know,

Oh, I thought you didn't text.

I thought you only called

I didn't say I don't text.

I just don't text and drive Trey.

and angry that quick.

God.

is a typical experience?

Do you think That's I, you know, here, wait, I can actually play both sides of the field on

I can experience it's like you do want to not leave.

Like you just wanna keep hoarding this ice cream.

because the thing is also like, once you leave, like that's the whole trick of the

And then as soon as you leave, if you wanna come back in there, well,

So like, I do understand that feeling of like, not wanting to leave, because

I really want that thing.

It's like, gotta get it all in now.

I mean, it obviously is a joke.

And I hear you.

I think that the problem with these sort of jokey reviews that really go over the

Where are we giving real information?

You know, is the soup really amazing?

Is the blueberry water really?

I mean the whole poetic here's the drink.

I had colon poetic, an emotional name that brought tears into my eyes.

Blueberry spa water, like.

see that makes me think that they don't even have the blueberry water.

I think that that occurs to me in hearing it.

As an extension of the joke, like they don't even have, like, it's just gross water.

That's brown, like the faucets in the gym or in the showers.

Oh, here's

I mean, who knows?

We'll never know, but like, it all, it all occurs to me that this is such a farcical

So like, if I read it, they would be like, if I read it and I went to USC, I

You know, if she would cosign on any of this or if this is all just a joke, it is

Does petsy have other reviews?

Yeah, they do.

They've written 18 other reviews and they've included 14 pictures though.

They, they didn't include any pictures here.

I mean, I'm making this up and, but it does occur to me that this

like the truth is everything I'm saying is not

The truth is that it's terrible.

All of the ice creams never work.

I can only eat the soup or the leaves.

Everything else is gross and I'm calling it spa water, but it's actually just like muddy water.

right.

It might be.

knows?

I don't know, but I do think there's an impact for me.

And what is that impact?

I'll tell you in the

Okay.

Should we crown?

Yeah, I think I could.

You

I think I'm ready.

Okay.

The Queens are Tabulating

to.

Two crowns, two crowns.

The Queens are unanimous.

Sorry, try, let us know.

What's the impact.

All right.

I'm totally creating this on my own and making it up.

It could, it could be real.

It just occurs to me that it's all a joke.

I mean, there are 34 reviews.

You see that it's a two and a half outta five rating.

It feels to me that petsy was just like, I there's an impact for me that this is only corroborating,

Right.

which is kind of funny.

And also I'm saying the two stars, because it does look like a text message.

And it also feels like there's not really anything to gather here other than they have soup

right

and that the ice cream machine doesn't always offer all of the offerings.

So it does make me think I need to read more reviews.

So the impact sort of is like, maybe this is just really bad, which

So then I'm sort of like, whoa, this is like the matrix or something.

So two stars, cuz it's more confusing than it is insightful.

But I think maybe the joke, if I read it, if I lean into what I think is all ingest, maybe

So I said two stars, cause I'm confused, pat.

Petsy why,

I'm conf petsy why pets.

Petsy.

Why, why, why petsy why.

Chelsey Chelsey?

Why, why did you say two crowns?

sit two crowns, mostly for all the same reasons that you said.

I don't think I can, as a Review Queen, you know, sign off on this review because

Clearly was going for some humor, was having fun with it is an anomaly, right?

Is a five star amongst One-Star-Zinger two stars.

So they had to stand out one way or another.

I sort of wish they would've stood out in more of a, like, I've heard all the

And for that, I gave them the two crowns.

But in terms of this being a useful review, couldn't really give more than that.

Yeah, I agree.

Yeah.

Fight on

Fight on.

Would you get a meal plan or no?

if my only option was to go to this dining hall.

Yeah.

I think the impact here is like I would choose to not attend this EVK kitchen.

Right.

No,

a point you brought up early on in the episode is like, are these privileged kids

And maybe it's just totally fine.

but I guess, you know, to counteract my own point, you're, if you're

If like, that was really what you were thinking about then are you gonna even

Are you just sort of gonna be like, it is what it is?

I'll make it work.

I think I would just do what it is, what it is.

I don't think I would be looking on help.

Right.

and even more telling of all we didn't even talk about.

Why have they not claimed it on Yelp?

Would you claim a two and a half?

Well, that's why I'm saying that makes me think it is true.

right, exactly.

if we're doing this statistic from this five star, that in my opinion is

right.

True, true,

34 reviews.

right.

Petsy really, she she's a tip in the scales.

She's a statistics major.

Oh, you're right.

That was super fun.

That made me nostalgic for college again.

I gotta get my trapper keeper.

Anyway, enough of that.

All right.

My Queen we've reached the most Regal portion of our show.

Who are you inducting today for?

My Royal line.

Okay.

Today I'm really excited because I am going to induct a fellow podcast.

Woo.

All right.

So I recently discovered, and actually love this new podcast it's called what the hell was that?

And the co-hosts Nate and Mike are really funny.

So what the premise of the show is they watch these sort of notoriously questionable films.

And then they do really funny recaps where they literally go like beat

What the hell was that?

You know, they have like all of their own like stories and stuff that they like toss in there.

So it really is like, you're hanging out with the two of them and you it's like,

They also like cover reviews of the, like from, uh, audience members,

So it's really funny.

My fav I, two of my favorite episodes, they do the dere Hansen movie, which is funny.

And then they also do Ella, which is very funny, which I did not see.

But

I saw it.

did you think it was bad?

I liked it.

I didn't think it was bad.

I mean, they obviously did.

I'm curious to listen to the episode.

Well, that's a funny one because they actually watched it twice.

and then they were saying like, they couldn't because something happened.

So they couldn't actually record after they first saw it.

So then they had to like find another theater where it was playing and it was like an hour away.

Um, so then they had to like drive and like to go and hate, watch this thing to then record.

And then they weren't able to, and then they're like, we cannot like

But they, what I thought was interesting is they were bringing up the parallels of

I can see that.

I can definitely see

anyway.

So I'm highly recommending what the hell was that?

The podcast it's really great, really fun.

Uh, if you just wanna like, have something fun to listen, to disengage from the harsh realities

Take a break from the true crime.

Yeah, exactly.

Or if you yourself have written, cuz you know, we don't really cover film on this podcast,

You didn't even know.

So for that reason I am inducting.

What the hell was that podcast with cohost, Nate and Mike, they're really fun and enjoyable.

I highly recommend you go over there and you give them some likes, write them

So we've included in the show notes below all of the links to find what the hell was that.

Make sure you check it out.

I'm gonna be clicking.

I know that

What the

love that so much.

Love my fellow podcast community have such love for anyone else that makes a podcast now

And we watched, I wanna say the Mary Kay Ashley movie getting there.

no idea.

And it was so bad that we both like turned to each other and

And we watched it a second time to confirm that it was that bad.

And the reality is yes, it was, it was that bad.

Nate and Mike, there's your next film getting there?

Starting Mary Kate.

Ashley.

Allon

little throwback to when Mary Kay and Ashley acted.

Remember that

I do, oh my God.

One time I was going to an audition on like the lower east side and the elevator

Like just the door opened and they're both in black trench coats, like with their like

I went to college with them.

They went to, I mean, they, I think dropped out, but they weren't my year Attish.

Yeah.

That's right.

Crazy.

Crazy.

Good for them.

Good for them.

They're like billionaires.

They're amazing entrepreneurs.

If nothing else.

Well, and the energy of the Olson twins, we did it Queen that is another

We solve that crime by dinnertime.

Thank you for joining us today.

If you like what you heard, please tell a friend.

If you didn't like what you heard, tell an enemy.

If you have zero friends and zero enemies, but you would like the chance to be featured on our show.

Please leave us a review wherever you are listening to this podcast right now, we've

Love the podcast.com/the review Queens.

There is also as always a one click link in the show description

If you'd like to support the production of our show, visit

Even a dollar tip is much appreciated or a billion dollars.

If you're an Olsons win

Come on, Mary Kay, send us a billion dollars.

Join our mailing list at Review That Review dot com to stay up to date with

and hit up our voice mailbox.

1 8 50 review zero.

You can follow us on all the socials at the review Queens.

I'm at ChelseyBD.

And I am at Trey Gerrald.

On today's after show pod, Chelsey, and I are gonna be rating a two

This is a book ChelseyBD titled knitting with dog hair, better, a sweater from

You'll never meet.

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

Stop it.

I can't

So to find out what made Chelsey say.

speaking of dramatic stories with people with like weird Al Yankovich

Yeah, because we're talking about Michelle getting amnesia on a horse

Then join our Patreon page at Patreon dot com slash Review

Oh my God.

Wait.

Yeah.

Don't forget.

Ignore the haters.

You're a Queen.

I love to do that.

Gender nonspecific Queen

Of course.

Bye.

brother for sale only 50 cents.

my God.

I love it.

Review That Review is an independent podcast.

Certain names have been redacted or changed to protect.

Executive produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound design

Our cover art was designed by LogoVora VRA and our theme song was written by

Oh my God.

Remember when they were credited as Mary, Kate, Ashley Olson at the end of full house.

At the beginning.

Oh yeah, the yeah, top

Yeah.

That's that was shady

that was kind of shady.

Like they just wanted us to think that they were one person.

I wonder they didn't wanna act anymore.

when they wouldn't do fuller house and it was like a whole thing.

I kind of respect it cuz like let the what's the sister's name again?

She's

I knew this was gonna happen.

Elizabeth Olson,

Elizabeth Olson.

She's really taken the torch.

why didn't they just hire her?

She probably didn't wanna do it.

She does like sexier stuff.

like, yeah, that

like, I'm good.

She's like, I'm actually, I'm, I'm not doing lifetime Christmas movies.

I'm not advertising Chloe.

Just saying

Although the best character name to ever exist is Kimmy.

Gibbler.

Kim gibber is a good name.

It's something about the G in the B

It tells you everything you need to know about who that character is.

It's so true.

I love that.

Good observation

Thank you.