Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis

experience. I'm your host Aurora, and I'm very happy to be

spending some time with you today. If you liked this

podcast, make sure to subscribe. If you want to leave me a review

on Apple podcast, it would mean the world to me is the strongest

currency among podcasters. Let's dive into today's episode. I

love you. Libra day tiama. Very powerful words. And I feel

sometimes we use these words very loosely. We say them. But

do we really mean them in the morning? Or what do they mean to

us? In the moment, sometimes we say them to appease someone to

make someone feel comfortable. Maybe it became a routine that

you say, I love you before you go to sleep. But now after a

while you feel like you're just saying it because it's part of a

routine. I noticed that it's very important to be careful

with your words. And to use your words wisely. x especially

sorry, when it comes to romantic relationships. What is it that

we really want from that relationship? How do we see our

partner? How did we chose this situation? romantic situation?

How do we choose our partner? Can we take him or her as part

of ourselves. And it's a very fine line between taking the

person as part of yourself and melting into one person and not

feeling individuality anymore. And it's a fine line that we

have to distinguish. Because the danger is if you melt into one

person that you one day, wake up and don't know who you are. He

only define yourself through your relationship. You don't

really have like a true opinion or a view through your glasses

anymore. Everything is kind of melted together into one person.

And for some it might sound very romantic. When to we come one.

But it is tricky over time when you lose that sense of self. So

I love you. I love to sometimes replace it by I understand you.

I see you. And maybe right now in this moment when I say these

words. I understand you might be going even deeper than I love

you. Maybe because I'm a stranger to you. But maybe

because feeling understood is really what we're craving when

we are in love with someone. We are attracted to the other

person we are drawn to the other person. We're curious about the

other person. But what do we want to feel? We want to feel

understood we want to feel seen. We want to feel heard and what

is your part? What do you have to do in order for the other

person to see you.

First of all, you have to know who you are You have to know who

you are, to be successful in life. But especially to be

successful when it comes to relationships, and not only

romantic relationships, but also friendships. You have to know

your boundaries, you have to know what you need and want. And

then you have to learn and know how to express yourself in order

to have these needs met, to feel heard, and understood and seen.

So what I'm trying to say here is that if the other person

truly loves you, they will do everything to try and see you

and understand you. And the question is, are you doing your

part so that they can see you. A lot of times we hide behind our

pain, pain that we had to go through with another partner in

the past. We don't want to get hurt again. Sometimes it is

belief systems, it can be religious beliefs, or family

beliefs, society believes that don't make us open up as much as

it would need to connect truly with a person. Sometimes it is

deep shame and feelings of guilt, that don't really make us

open up. They make us hold back, they make us have these walls

around us without us seeing them. But we keep wondering, Why

can we not connect with people on a deeper level? What is it

that is preventing us? It is kind of,

you know, the water on a duck that just pearls off and doesn't

sink into the feathers? Which in the ducks cases important? I

know you know what I mean? So it's a very interesting concept,

I think that I was introduced to

a couple of years ago, I said, you take your partner as

yourself. Can you embrace every part of your partner? Why are

you still judgmental and scared? turned off by certain things

that your partner is representing. And you have to go

deeper and ask yourself more question, can you embrace these

things that you still don't 100% agree with or like because

otherwise, it might be like a little sliver, you know, that is

bugging you. For the rest of the relationship. You have to take

the other person as part of yourself. And you have to do

your best in order to be open and vulnerable. And strong, like

a strong sense of self. No, this is not what I allow. Yes, this

is exactly what I want. Let's say you're used to a lot of

physical touch in your relationship or a lot of talking

and discussing. When you meet a new partner, you have to make

sure that these needs are met because a lot of times we meet

somebody and they're so fascinating this so beautiful

inside out and interesting. And we kind of push our needs away

within think yeah, that's that's okay, for now. I'm just

mesmerized by that person. But if you forget to check in if

your needs can be met that person from the get go, you're

just wasting your time. And it doesn't mean that you cannot be

compatible with people that don't exactly need the same

things that you need. But yeah Have to make sure that you in

some sort of an or another, express what you need and want,

and don't fool yourself and waste time

and trying to ignore these things. And if you express these

things, you have to have that sense of self worth, and

self respect and confidence to really ask and see if that

person can meet you where you want to meet them. My most

favorite question, when it comes to dating is what I you

available for?

What is it that we want. And a lot of people, especially men, I

feel will get maybe a little bit nervous. Because they know they

can just say, Oh, I just want to have sex, I just want to have

fun, because that might turn you off. And that might make you run

away. But I encourage everybody to seek authenticity, as

uncomfortable as it might feel most of the time. Because if

you're trying to manipulate the person or push them into a box

into into your dream box, you will have ugly surprises in the

future. You have to create a very trustworthy ground around

yourself and for the other person to fully open up and let

you know what they are all about and what they want without

vailable for in order, also for you to trust them. But most

importantly for you to not waste any time and refrain from being

judgmental, if the answer is something that you didn't want

to learn about the other person because it is their truth. It is

them being vulnerable and authentic. And it gives you the

opportunity to be completely authentic and yourself. And

again, if things come up that you didn't want to hear, but it

is their truth. then know that it is your ego reacting it is

your mind wanting to judge and get rid of or whatever radical

thoughts come up. It is not your heart. Your heart always wants

to meet people in the middle lesson and comfort and be close.

Make that little distinction and seek authenticity. I love you. I

see you. I understand you are such powerful words. And the

feelings that come up when you say these words when you hear

these words, is what you want to go for. And for whatever feels

strange. check in with yourself. If it is your mind and your ego

trying to come up with strange judgmental ideas or is it your

heart that just

is not in a place yet to be opened up again. From the bottom

of my heart, thank you so much for listening. I will be out

there very soon again, make sure to subscribe. Make sure to leave

me a review on Apple podcast and take really good care of