In today's episode, we are delighted to welcome on Amy, worked with earlier on last year and she's come on to tell you all her story. So, welcome Amy.

Hi,

Welcome, Amy. Nice to see you again.

nice to see you too. Thanks for having me.

So I suppose I better start really, Amy, tell me a little bit about your story before you, you got in touch with us, what was happening, that sort of thing. Really

Yeah, so, well, in terms of the driving, I essentially have lived in London for quite a long time, say like, gosh, 12 years, so just haven't really needed to drive that much, and my partner does drive, and we were getting a car, and it was just like, we'd gotten to that point where I was having to think about, I gonna drive in again after passing when I was like 17, which I think happens to quite a lot of people. They like pass straight after school and then we go to uni and then we move to a city And then, yeah, just don't drive for a very long time. so, yeah, it's sort of just. It came around as something I had to do, um, even though I've been putting it off, for years, because it's just something that it's not really been that important to me. It's more been like something other people have wanted me to do. so yeah, so I was just like, I'm, if I'm going to do this properly, I'm going to have to have some kind of like kickstart, which is why I got in touch with you guys, because I just. or like, I can't do this on my own. And I just needed like a little bit of support. so yeah, to get me back on the road.

brilliant. And we, and we'd done some training, didn't we? We We had a, like a, a get it done in a day, training day.

Yeah.

did you find that?

Yeah, no, it was great. I, um, I think beforehand I was really, really nervous about it actually. Cause I think personally, when I've got to do something. That I'm sort of like a bit nervous about if it's like half an hour, an hour, like a presentation or something, you know, you get it over with and you could be like, it's only an hour, but it was a full day. So even that was like, quite daunting. Um, especially obviously never like really meeting in person and. But obviously we had our like chat beforehand and that just like sort of really helped because we met and then obviously we met on the day um so yeah it didn't feel like awkward and yeah the day actually went really quickly if I remember rightly and we just drove around my local town for about five hours or so didn't we. Um, so yeah, no, it was brilliant, um, and it really helped because I'm still driving today. And yeah, so it did definitely do the job.

So how much had you been driving before? How long since you'd driven? No,

COVID, I went and did some traditional refresher driving lessons. I did like four or five, but I just didn't get on with it because it just, if maybe it was the person who I was with, but was very much trying to teach me how to drive again, rather than giving me confidence in what I already knew. So it didn't really work out. So I stopped that and I was just driving our, so we had quite an old car then. and then we got into a minor accident and the car got written off. So we didn't have a car for a few years, which is why I stopped. And then, like I said, we decided to invest in a like a proper nice car automatic, which is also key. Cause I learned in a manual and I think automatic is so much easier. And I think that's definitely helped with some of my sort of issues.

And when you think back, can you remember what your worries were about driving? Because you mentioned that it wasn't really about the driving skills. You didn't really need to learn how to drive. It was more about your confidence. So can you remember What were your worries? What were your concerns about driving before, before you found us?

Yeah, I think it was partly. Remembering how to drive in terms of like, like things like going on certain lanes and roundabouts, like all that I would remember. But for me, it was more like trusting myself, to remember how I, you know, how to drive. so there is aspects of the actual driving, that I wanted to improve on. But yeah, it was more just like, Even not knowing, not feeling comfortable in the car. Yeah, and just not trusting myself or other people on the road. And then the other thing was like the nerves before getting into the car. That was like something I wanted to try and tackle as well. So yeah, I think they were the main things really. And like just going, playing out scenarios in my head that I thought would happen before getting in the car, um, that never happened. And then actually things do happen and you handle them anyway. So. Yeah, it wasn't like specific things. It was more like an overarching fear. And yeah, I just, I don't really love being in the car as a passenger either. So it's all like interconnected. and so, yeah, I was just like, no, I need to do something about this and just sort of like rip the plaster off.

I love that, the rip in the plaster off, it was like, okay, that's, that's, that's done, let's get rid of that and let's, let's try this.

Yeah.

sort of things did we, because I remember it very well, it was a nice sunny day.

Well, um,

of things, it was hot as well, what sort of things did we do then that made it comfortable for you on the day?

well we drove around. Basically where I live, it's kind of like a town, it's quite busy, big red buses, all of that stuff. So I just wanted to get comfortable with my local area because that was my goal really, to be able to go to the shops on my own and pick up, like, my husband from the station and whatnot. So we just drove around at our own sort of pace. Go in different directions. And then I think we went to the town over and I went on some faster roads. and then, yeah, we pulled into a few car parks, I think, and had breaks and stuff, didn't we? So yeah, it just felt like the repetition. was really good because it felt like I was just getting more and more confident on the roads, getting used to people being behind me, because that's always going to be a thing around here, like it's always very busy. Um, so it was just getting used to being on the roads. And then, yeah, I think the one thing I remember Was I'd not been in the car on my own so I'd only ever been in the car with my partner and that was like quite a Like import like I felt like without him. I wouldn't be able to do it and so I'm just looking back at my notes before this and I remember going down to the car and sitting in it and driving outside of our building and doing like a quick U turn in this car park next door just because I hadn't been actually physically in the car or driven it without him in there before our sort of like session at the weekend, so I was just like, I need to do that first. And so even that was massive and now it's like almost the other way where I prefer it when he's not in the car. Um, Which is funny, because I, at one point, thought I would never be able to, like, drive on my own and I needed his reassurance, I was doing everything okay, and what should I do, oh, you know, if something was to happen, and actually, when I'm on my own, you just crack on, like, you almost don't have That person to like second guess you or whatever. So, so yeah, so I think when we were doing our driving, it was just like mostly getting used to this sort of area that I live in. And yeah, taking lots of breaks when we needed them. and yeah, it was, it was very like. Chilled, wasn't it? I remember like just, just, you were very like, um, I don't know, relaxing and, and just sort of like going at our own pace compared to my refresher classes where I was just like almost forced to do stuff I didn't feel ready to do. And that like made it worse. So actually it was, it was a good pace.

yeah, and I do remember that that was your goal. It wasn't a sort of like huge, I want to drive to the seaside type goal. It really was. I want to be able to drive in my local area on my own and trust in your own decisions. So knowing that you could do it and then to drive. build on from there. So, and I think it's great, isn't it? Because everybody's goals are different. They're unique to you. And it's made a really big difference for you, hasn't it?

Yeah, absolutely. even like you say, I'm not driving super, super far, but it's almost like baby steps. And I had to start from scratch really and build my way up. And yeah, I wouldn't say I'm like, Gonna be driving long distances anytime soon. But that, but I think that's fine. I think everyone's each their own. Like some people need that 'cause they wanna be driving up to see family or whatever. But if it's just that you just want to get A to B comfortably, or if it's like I'm picking my partner up all the time, you know, it's raining and I'm like, do you wanna lift? He's like, yeah. Like it's just those small things and he loves it obviously.

Yeah, it

Yeah, but equally, like, I was just going to give this as an example, because recently we had, my partner was having a procedure, like, under general anaesthetics, so you know you have to take someone with you. And like this time last year, I'd have gone with him, but we would have got taxis both ways, even though we're paying whatever for our car. but this time I was like, no, no, I'll drive. And we'd not done, I'd not done this route before. It was only like 20, 25 minutes away. Um, but even that, like being able to just go somewhere new and, and be helpful. yeah. So yes, taking goals all the time.

is. It's fantastic, isn't it? This is, It does make a difference. It gives you that freedom. It gives you that confidence as well. And like you say, you're, you're doing the things that you want to be able to do. You know, supporting your partner and helping out in that way. It's brilliant.

Thanks.

And I, you know, afterwards, I know you was, you, there was a meeting that you had to attend. And I just remember getting the email back and saying, you'll never guess what I've done. I've just driven there. And it was just like, wow, because that was that's quite a journey that one one or two roads, but there were country roads as well, weren't they? So they're not sort of like in the town where we had practiced. It would been in the country. So

Yeah, yeah, exactly. New roads. And I think, and that also is like, it's following the satnav as well and listening. So even that's a skill on, you know, in any way, where back in the day when I passed, there was no, like, you weren't following satnavs on your phone and stuff. So, yeah.

I just love it. It's a shame that we don't video these, because the smile on your face when you're telling these stories is like, yes, I did this and I'm doing this and, and you know what, I actually enjoy it when my partner's not in the car. It's the big smile on your face there was just like, okay, that's some achievement really from not driving and probably scared to get in the car as well. So, you know, that's, it's, it's massive, isn't it? And the life changing. Yeah. So,

yeah, definitely. I think it's, it's hard when obviously some people are driving, my sister drives the work, she drives like, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, eight hours a day, sometimes there and back for meetings. And that just blows my mind where I'm like happy that I just drive down the road or something, but it's just remembering where you were and how far you've come. And then like, cause you know, I think we said at the end. Like if I was to ever want to do motorways or whatever, or like we move further away out of London, like I could just do another day, do you know what I mean? And like do it in sections rather than like trying to achieve everything straight away. I just, I just, I think you just have to be a bit realistic.

yeah, and everyone's different as well, so everyone's gonna go at their own pace, whatever pace that may be. And I just, you know, I think that's a great, for people that are listening, to be able to say, that just go at your pace, do it at your, there's no time frame to this either, is there? You know, you can just do it how you feel, which I think is great. Yeah, and we talk all the time, don't we, about bite sizing things. And it is that the option, you know that you've always got the option to, let you say, if life changes and you need to change your driving habits, then that's when you tackle it. There's options to tackle it when and if you need to, so.

Yeah.

what advice would you give someone that's in the position that your old self was in? What would you, what advice would you give to them? Of

Hmm. Um, firstly, I would say if it depends, if you're like, it depends if you've got a car and whatnot, but I would. I was even talking to a colleague about it today and he was saying I'm the same, like he never passed his test, but he was like, I'm just way too anxious for it. And I was like, the first thing you need to do is go automatic. I know it's like a debate and everyone has their opinions, but if you are a nervous driver, I do think it eliminates a lot of stress. Um, so I would say look into that if you've not thought about that. Um, And then, yeah, I don't know, I guess just doing a bit of research, really, um, and reaching out to you guys.

of course.

Different things, don't you, as well? You don't just do what I did, and I think everyone's different. Like I say, I just wanted to, like, almost do it all in one day, whereas some people might want to do, like, little bits and stuff. So I think, yeah, just figuring out how you best learn and then, like, going, going after. What would work for you? It's probably what I would say to myself. Yeah,

And it's that Knowing that the way you feel can change, you can change those feelings, you can change those thoughts and you can learn to manage them as well. So it doesn't, it doesn't mean that how you, how somebody feels right at the moment, they don't have to feel stuck there. It is possible to, to make those changes.

absolutely. I think it's hard to feel like that sometimes and you do feel like, Oh, I'm going to feel like this forever. And like, even still, I'm like, Ooh, I feel a bit nervous about doing that. Or, but then, you know, I remember you saying that that's okay to be nervous and do it anyway. And actually anxious drivers make great drivers because we're more cautious sometimes. So it's just, yeah. I think. It is great to look back and be like, Oh, you know, actually feelings do change. Um, but also I'd say to that, like making these notes is really key because actually it's so funny to read back what I wrote to myself. Just the fact of even getting in the car on my own and going around the corner. Like, that's wild to me that that was so nerve wracking and now, like, it's nothing. So yeah, I think making those notes if you decide to do this journey is a really good idea as well.

Brilliant. That reflection, being able to look back, see how far you've come, because that gives you confidence for all sorts of things, not just for driving, but other things in your life that you might feel nervous about. So you can apply it, it's like, oh yeah, well I felt nervous about that, but I can handle that level of nervousness and do it anyway. And it does rewire your brain, it does retrain your brain.

Yeah, it's, and also, like, that you enjoy it, like, a little bit as well, you know? I feel like, uh, yeah, there's an actual enjoyment to driving now, it's not just like, uh, a necessity. It's still, like, it's quite nice to be able to just, like, hop in the car and, and whatever. So yeah, that comes eventually too, which is a really nice feeling.

Amy, when we asked you if you'd like to come on and share your story with the listeners, was there anything that you thought, Oh, I really want to say that, or I really want to get that across to other people? Is there anything that we haven't mentioned so far?

I feel like I've mentioned most of it. I think I would just say like the not jumping the gun, because I feel like where before sort of like reaching out to you guys, I was thinking, Oh, I can't do that. I don't like going fast. I don't like doing motorways and da da da like, and actually like, You don't need to think that far ahead. But yeah, I would just say like, just figuring out what your goal is and it doesn't have to be like the same as someone else's or like also not listening to the pressure of other people. Like my dad's always the one that's like, Oh, you're driving up today or whatever, like it's that sort of pressure. Whereas actually, no, I'm not going to do that yet, but I'm just going to do What I want to do, what's important to me and what's going to make my life easier. and then, yeah, just being really, really strong on that and not letting other people sway you, um, or like pressure you into doing things that you don't want to do until you're ready. And I think that's okay. Um, just being not sort of like kind to yourself.

That's brilliant advice. Very wise, very wise words, definitely. Be kind to yourself. I like that one. I like that. Yeah. So in that case, Amy, I think that's a great place to wrap it up and just to say thank you so much for giving the time over this evening to record and share your story with others.

no, thank you for having me. I hope it's helpful. Um, cause I remember I did listen to your podcast before sort of signing on and stuff like that. And on other podcasts as well that I think you sent me were really helpful too. Cause you don't feel alone. Um, cause I think with things like this, you can often feel like you're the only one that doesn't drive or whatever. Um, but actually it's very common. so yeah, I think. Yeah, just sort of do like people doing their own research and stuff and then finding you guys was was great. So thank you for all your help.

You're very welcome. Thank you, Amy.

Thank you.