So, hi everyone.

Just before we get started on today's episode, I wanted to let you know about my brand new live coaching summer program.

It's happening over June, July and August.

It's four different sessions and this is for you.

If you would like to be able to ask me anything, I'm there to do some group coaching, answer questions, give you some guidance, help you feel a bit more empowered, enlightened about your recent ADHD diagnosis.

So this is there for you to help you build your awareness.

And as routines sort of tend to go out the window over summer, these are just ad hoc coaching sessions for a group where you can come in and you can listen to other people ask questions or you can ask questions yourself.

Now, as you know, I'm not a licensed therapist, I am a coach, so I'm not there to give you medication advice, but I am able to help you with lifestyle advice if you are interested in changing careers.

If you're looking for a more spiritual take on the way you live your life with this new chapter of ADHD.

So I'm really looking forward to this.

It's four different sessions, it's 144 pounds for the 4 live group coaching sessions, which is a really fantastic opportunity to work with me, ask some questions and connect with other like minded people.

So all the information is on my website.

If you just head there, you'll be able to see all the details and this is all going to be live on zoom.

So this is going to be safe, non judgmental space where you can really ask those questions and discuss your concerns among amongst people who really do get it.

And I'm hoping to be able to offer you as much practical, emotional and spiritual tools and practices so you can apply straight away to your daily life.

All the details are on my website, adhdwomenswellbeing.co.uk and I really look forward to seeing you then.

And here is today's episode.

Welcome to the ADHD Women's Wellbeing Podcast.

I'm Kate Moore Youssef and I'm a wellbeing and lifestyle coach, EFT practitioner, mum to four kids and passionate about helping more women to understand and accept their amazing ADHD brains.

After speaking to many women just like me and probably you, I know there is a need for more health and lifestyle support for women newly diagnosed with adhd.

In these conversations you'll learn from insightful guests, hear new findings and discover powerful perspectives and lifestyle tools to enable you to live your most fulfilled, calm and purposeful life wherever you are on Your ADHD journey.

Here's today's episode.

Today, I'm delighted to welcome someone who I've known for a little while now, delightful person.

Her name is Rosie Turner, and she is the founder of the ADHD Untangled podcast and coaching company.

She's an accredited and certified ADHD coach, and she's also a Pilates and yoga instructor.

She knows ADHD inside and out.

And I'm just delighted to welcome Rosie to the podcast because we're really going to talk about how ADHD has shown up for her, how she's navigated it, I guess, undiagnosed, for many years, and now how she's helping so many other people navigate their own life with ADHD and to really move from those limitations and, as she says, to their unique advantages.

So, Rosie, welcome to the podcast.

Thank you.

I can't believe I'm here.

This is like the first podcast I ever listened to when I got diagnosed and I was, like, completely hyper focused on it.

So I'm so excited to be here.

Well, I'm delighted to have you here.

And like I said, you know, we've known each other for a little while now, and I'm really happy to have you here because I think you're going to be able to blend a couple of conversations together, you know, things that are really important.

But, you know, the under.

The art that I really want to kind of focus on is how you found movement and exercise to help you through some really difficult, challenging times, and how that is now sort of underpinning what you do with ADHD and coaching and blending all together in the beautiful way that you do.

So maybe we could, I guess, go back to the beginning and could you explain a little bit about what it was like living undiagnosed when you actually had no idea it was ADHD that was sort of derailing you and your relationships.

And.

And you said there was a lot of chaos and there was addiction and there was burnout and mental health struggles.

And are you able to kind of just paint the picture a little bit for us?

Yeah, of course.

There's, like, so much.

So I'm sorry if I go from one thing to the other, but I think overall my life felt undiagnosed.

When I look back and reflect on it now is obviously chaotic is the word that I use, and I know many others do.

But also it felt like I was constantly living in extremes, so constantly going from one extreme to the other, trying to sort of find something external to make me feel like I was okay, that, you know, Who I was was enough.

I felt lost a lot of the time.

And I think what it was is that I just couldn't understand who it is I was and what it is I wanted from life.

So what I was doing is anyone that I was around in my environment, I was looking at the person next to me and going, right, well, they're doing this.

So maybe that's what I need to be doing to feel okay and normal.

And whether that would be getting married, following the same career paths as people around me, having the same beliefs as people around me, lots of masking and being all different people.

And as you mentioned, you know, at the beginning, it was, you know, I was an addict at one point because party scene was where I was at for a long time.

And that was what I was.

You know, we can't be what we can't see.

And what I could see was that I got married very impulsively, very young, and I was trying to play housewife and be that person for a while and follow, like, a career that everyone was like, you know, it's not about having a fun career because I always had this urge to do something that was meaningful.

But I was told by my parents and, you know, everyone around me that, you know, work's not meant to be fun, so go and get a job that's going to pay you well, so become an EA like everyone else.

But what kept happening was I kept doing that and kept going towards these things that I thought was the right thing to do.

But I was almost fighting between what I now believe to be my intuition, my soul, what, you know, whatever word people resonate with.

And I'd get down these paths and halfway down them, quite deep into them, obviously, when I get back, when I got married and things like that, and I'd have this, like, sort of realization, and I'd be like, I don't want this.

I don't know what else it is I want.

And then I'll just go travel or do something quite impulsive in the complete opposite direction.

And it just kept going like that.

It kept going from, I was an addict, then I become a yoga teacher.

I was married, then divorce.

Thought I wanted to be on my own, had six weeks on my own, jumped into another serious relationship.

It was sort of like I wasn't trusting myself.

And I just didn't know why I felt like that, why I was so, you know, impulsive, why I felt so different.

And it was just restlessness as well.

I couldn't be on my own in a room and now I absolutely love my own company and struggle to do the opposite, you know, So I just didn't know myself for so long.

So how old were you when you got married?

I was 24.

Okay.

Just turned 24.

So we got engaged the year before, and we was partying in Vegas when he proposed.

We hadn't slept for 24 hours, and that was the next thing I knew.

I was organizing a huge wedding of like, 300 people and walking down an aisle.

Wow.

And how long were you married for?

So we was married for two years together, for seven in total.

But, yeah, it was a, yeah, party lifestyle type of relationship, and our whole relationship was wrapped up in that and our friends parting with them all the time and living really unhealthy lifestyles.

And he actually was diagnosed with adhd, which at the time, obviously, I never knew much about and.

Or anything, so.

So was there a part of you while this was all going on and you felt like you knew something was not quite right?

But was there a part of you that kind of knew that something needs to be unearthed?

That, like, there was a miss, a missing piece?

Or was that each time you were, you know, you were partying, you're getting married, you were, you know, choosing different career paths?

Was there at that sort of soul level, part of you that was like, there's something not right here.

I need to find out what's going on 100%.

I always knew there was something, and I just didn't know what it was.

Something.

Something was going to click at some point.

That's what I thought.

You know, I thought, right, something is gonna happen that's gonna make sense, make my life make sense, and explain this feeling, you know, find my way.

And that's why I think for a long time, it was the external stuff that I thought would bring that.

But as obviously, life changed and transformed, I realized that was very much an internal, internal thing.

So how did you come across ADHD and, you know, go down that path of diagnosis?

So I had just started to, again, face struggles in my next relationship.

We'd just bought a house.

We'd also been together for six years, and it was.

I think it was in the second lockdown by then.

And because I'd thought, I'm here again.

This guy is really good, actually.

He's really kind, and he's really nice, and we had a really lovely relationship.

But once again, the feeling was back of, I don't want this.

And all of a sudden, the impulsive behavior would come back in and I'd be reverting back.

And I was doing yoga at this point.

I was teaching yoga at this point.

And I thought, how the hell are we back here feeling this emptiness or like something's missing again and something's wrong.

And I went off in that moment.

I got offered a job in Amsterdam, like randomly on LinkedIn.

And I was like, right, I'm going running.

I'm going to run away and, you know, escape and figure out what's going on.

And we still connected during that time.

And then when I came home, I'd basically been doing, you know, where we'd been living together.

He'd said a few things like, you've left the gas.

Hop on again.

You've left four car doors open the other day.

Something's wrong.

I'm a bit worried that you've got, you know.

He thought I had a brain tumor, basically.

So there was all these external things that other people were seeing and my emotional dysregulation, despite all the meditation and stuff, there were still moments where I see it come back.

And because I wasn't partying anymore, I wasn't, you know, living my life in the way I was previously.

I was doing all of these things that were grounding me and making me feel good.

I just knew that there was still something that wasn't right.

So I did go for brain scans, and at a point they thought they saw something.

So we had to go through the whole process of waiting and going back for CT scans and MRIs.

And once that got the all clear, I was like, right, I'm just going to Google, why am I doing all this stuff?

And ADHD came up and obviously I knew what it was because I, as I said, my husband had it, my ex husband and my cousin had been diagnosed.

But like everybody, I didn't realize what it actually meant.

And when I started reading about, you know, impulsive behavior and getting bored easily, reject sensitivities to rejection, I just, I had that moment that we all tend to have.

And I was like, oh, my God, I think this might be it.

This might be it.

And so I got put in for a screening.

I had to wait.

I think it was about a year I waited, and I'd sort of forgotten about it by then.

And then online they diagnosed me.

And he said to me, the guy that had diagnosed with the doctor, he said, well, what do you think this is going to change for your life?

And I said, I have no idea.

And he said, if you want medication, you can have it.

We'll send you some paperwork.

And a monitor to do your heart rate.

And that was it.

And I didn't take medication at that point.

I didn't want to because I didn't know enough about it.

And then I went on the hyperfocus.

That's when the self study started.

So your podcast, Dr.

Ned Halliwell's book was the first book I ever read, ADHD 2.0.

And it was literally in that moment that I was like, oh, my God, this.

I have.

I have to do something with this and, you know, bring this into the work that I want to do, because I made a promise to myself basically from that moment that I'll do everything I can to help others as I'm helping myself, because there must be so many people that feel this way and.

Yeah, yeah, well, you know, you probably were surrounded by a lot of people who were probably undiagnosed adhd, you said there was partying and chaos and addiction.

And there's always a reason.

You know, we always know that we kind of get attracted to similar tribes and we're all at different stages of self awareness and of understanding or wanting to even.

Not a lot of people want to kind of go down.

It's a harder route, isn't it, moving away from that place, moving away from what we, what we know.

And change is hard, but you've kind of actively made that choice and you made that promise that you were going to.

Now that you understood what was going on, you wanted to help other people.

And going back to what you said, that even even though you were doing all the meditation and yoga, that emotional dysregulation was still a challenge for you.

And I hear this so much is that we think, oh, we're just going to do some breathing exercise and we'll just do some yoga and it's all going to go and I'm going to be super Zen.

It's not that easy, but it's just little incremental shifts and little kind of like commitments.

And I always think I've got quite a few different yoga teachers and I've done lots of different yoga classes over the years.

And they always have a very similar story that they were taken to yoga, they found yoga because they needed it themselves.

And it's the same, isn't it the same with us being coaches, we've had to go through that hard period to then say, right, we get it, and we now want to be able to help other people while also still helping ourselves, ourselves on this journey because we're still figure figuring it out and you're helping now the you of say, three years ago, five years ago, same as me.

And we're just kind of learning a bit more and then we teach a little bit more, guide a little bit more.

And you know, I go back to what I love about what you do, is that you're blending your commitment and your passion for movement and yoga and breath work and meditation.

All the things that you've kind of blended in.

And not only are you sort of noticing how it's helped you, you're then now hopefully helping lots of other people.

How.

What would you say to someone who is really new to all of this adhd?

They're really, they're listening to this podcast, they're listening to you and thinking, I really resonate with Rosie's story.

But yoga just feels, you know, there's just no way.

I can't sit through a yoga class.

I can barely, you know, sit still for two minutes.

How do you encourage someone to start testing the waters a little bit with yoga?

I'm so glad you asked this because I always look back and think, oh my God, like I thought exactly the same when someone used to say the word yoga meditation.

I used to think, there is no way I am getting on a mat and doing yoga.

There's no chance.

It would feel like torture to me is what I thought.

And when I got to this place and I had lost how I got on the mat, the first time ever was actually I'd lost my friend to suicide and he had signed me up to the London Marathon as a joke and I wasn't going to do it.

And when he passed, I decided to.

So when my friend then asked me after we had lost him, I'm going to yoga today.

You're gonna come.

Like she used to always ask me at lunch.

And I thought, do you know what?

I'm going to go.

And I turned up to this class.

It was full of people doing like one handed handstands.

They were so like muscly and fit.

And I was basically still an addict at this time.

I couldn't even hold a downward dog.

And something happened when I went to that class.

I wasn't good at it.

I could hardly do any of it.

But I think because of the type of class I went to, which was, was challenging for a start.

There was something about the teacher as well.

He was so authentic and he wasn't what I had in my head as a perception of a yoga teacher.

He used to be a dj, he's had great music and somehow, and I Don't know what happened, but I managed to get through that class and I cried at the Shavasana at the end and I did do cry every Shavasana for about a year, I think.

I think that was my release.

And what I would say to others is there are so many teachers out there with all different styles.

There's so many types of yoga.

And if you are being called to try yoga or a form of movement, any movement, try lots of different stuff first.

And don't be put off by going, oh, I've gone to a yin class and my mind was racing and I absolutely couldn't, couldn't stay in there any longer.

I would say try different teachers, different classes and see what it is that draws you, you know, what draws you in.

Because I think I was lucky that I found something quite quickly.

But I think a lot of people assume what yoga is and actually these days, and especially in London, we have so many amazing teachers that do really creative things and, you know, set it up perfectly for a brain like ours, you know.

Yeah, yeah.

I think it's so important what you're saying is that you just have to go and try and see what works for you.

I believe we get, once we get on this journey of whatever movement it is, but we're using yoga as an example.

We start with what works for us as our entry.

And for me it was a rocket and it had to be something hardcore to get into my body.

For you, it sounds like restorative was your, and, you know, where you went, started and I think.

But once we get into that and then we can, you know, we find the benefits and we hit that baseline in our nervous system and, you know, we're starting to enjoy the journey of yoga, then we notice that, oh, actually I'm going to go a bit deeper and try this thing over here and maybe I need a bit more Yang in my life or Yin.

And then we can start to actually sit through those classes that we thought we wanted to avoid in the beginning.

So I think it's so interesting that that happened.

Everyone I speak to, even teachers, they start off with a certain type of, you know, teaching a certain type of yoga and as they grow as a person, they start to teach a different type.

Yeah.

And I think like you say, we're.

There's different cycles in our life, especially as women.

We are cyclic beings and depending, you know, whether you've had kids, you haven't had kids, you practice it in the morning or the evening.

We, where we are in our actual cycle as well.

I think it's just so important just to lean into that without the judgment of, I should be doing it like this, I should be more energetic, I should be sweating, or I should be lying down and relaxing right now and just remove all of those sort of preconceptions and the shoulds and just do what works for you.

And, you know, like you said, we're using yoga as an example.

But, you know, tell me a little bit about when you run the London Marathon and were you not into exercise?

Were you not noticing mo movement could help you with your mental health and especially going through what you did, being an addict and moving out of that into recovery.

How did exercise play a part in that?

Yeah, I just want to add actually to what you just said.

And it's about, I always say, follow the fun first with movement.

So you definitely, like you said, let go of the should and go with what feels fun.

So for me, it was being upside down, even if I lasted two seconds in a hands down when I started.

So, yes, the marathon, I was not fit at this point at all into any form of exercise, apart from when I was at school.

I used to love gymnastics and that was years and years before that.

And it almost felt like something in his honor to do.

And my sister was like, I'll do it with you.

She also wasn't very, you know, sporty or anything.

So we started training.

I was still drinking quite a lot, but we had like once a week a personal trainer.

At lunchtime we'd run to work together because we both worked in the same place once a week.

So I started to incorporate it slowly, because of the marathon into my life.

It started to slowly change things in my mind and I started to notice that, you know, my mood was a lot better and I was starting to slowly make little decisions that were better for me.

So I might have been skipping the pub at lunchtime once a week and go into the PT class instead, you know, and whilst it didn't completely, you know, overnight transform and overcome my addiction, it was like slowly changing the way that I felt and the way that I saw the world and saw myself, because I was starting to feel a lot stronger and like, wow, I can, you know, I've run seven miles today.

I never even.

I couldn't even run free a few months ago.

And then when we completed the marathon, I mean, I was ruined because obviously I wasn't as fit as I should have been.

I think I drunk like two bottles of red wine the night before and stuff.

I was definitely not, you know, in a fit state, but I did it, and I did it in quite good time, considering I wasn't fit.

I think it gave me confidence and made me realize that how beneficial it had been, the small changes that happened in my life.

And it also helped me process.

You know, I was thinking a lot about my friend, and, you know, he was in a similar cycle as I was.

And I think that combined with the exercise and that experience that happened, I started to think about my life.

And, you know, during those runs, I would always be reflecting on what I was doing and how I was living my life in that moment after, you know, in those weeks after the marathon, I started to think, I want to keep this up.

I don't want to let this go.

This has been a positive impact on my life.

I felt better, and I started just to create a morning routine, kept it up, and then started to increase it.

Going to the gym and doing, like, HIIT classes, it started with and doing more of the yoga classes that I liked.

And then all of a sudden, the more I started doing that, the more I didn't want to go out and drink.

I didn't want to hang over in the morning, because my morning routine was everything.

This movement in the morning was absolutely changing my life.

The more I kept it up, I was more focused at work.

I started.

I actually got promoted and put into the events team to cover a maternity cover, which had never happened to me in work.

So I was doing more work that I was enjoying instead of just the EA stuff my family and friends like, you know, I was showing up for them totally different.

And my mental health was just improving bit by bit.

And that is what eventually, over time, keeping that up, you know, helped me overcome addiction because it was just no longer of interest to me or as important anymore.

What was important is becoming the person I wanted, you know, wanted to become and wanting to feel good and not just hungover all the time and depressed and not being able to have the energy to do anything I wanted to do.

And looking back now, I believe it was because I was choosing a more healthier form of dopamine.

And it was working, but it took time and it took consistency.

And it meant, as I said, having a deeper why behind what I was doing in that marathon helped me overcome something that I would never have done and making it enjoyable.

So the connection with my sister doing that and the classes I was choosing and all these things, now that I look back and think that's why progress.

And I think yoga was great for that because you always had little goals to aim for, so a new pose or something like that.

So it was very physical, my entry into supporting my mental health of it and overcoming addiction, because it.

It had to be something that was going to be a physical, you know, entry for me.

And then eventually that filtered into meditation, that all of a sudden I could start to meditate and I could do these things that I thought I could never, ever do.

So exercise was basically the thing that changed and saved my life.

And I don't think I would have got to my ADHD diagnosis without it, because I wouldn't have been quiet enough to listen, to know there was something else going on.

It wasn't hangovers anymore.

If it wasn't for exercise, I would have still probably been hungover and blaming that.

That was what I always used to say.

I'm, you know, I'm forgetting things because I'm hungover all the time.

Or I'm not good at work because I'm hungover.

I'm having arguments with my partner because I'm always on a comedown.

And that wasn't.

And that wasn't the case.

Obviously, it wasn't helping.

But, yeah, exercise brought me to the.

To the answers.

You see, first of all, I think your story is really, really inspiring.

But you kind of make it sound like it was an easy choice for you, and it wasn't.

I can hear that, that, you know, to make those choices every day, to not drink, to choose to wake up in the morning, do the class, do the run, the yoga, like that just takes.

And you were building that inner strength and that resilience and everyday choosing.

And with adhd, where we get this diagnosis, we can either just sit with the diagnosis and carry on life as it always has been, or we use it as a turning point, and we use it as an opportunity to be like, I don't want to live like this anymore.

But what I can hear from you is that you were just noticing.

You were noticing so much about yourself.

And like you say, the exercise quietened down the noise in your head and allowed you to hear what it was that you did want to do and you were ready for.

And it's so.

It's so profound because the exercise, like you say, the dopamine, we are working with neurotransmitters in our brain, so it's not a coincidence.

It's not just, you know, good for your body.

We're actually rewiring these pathways, these neural pathways, so we can choose different dopamine, you know, seeking behavior like, instead of choosing drink, drugs, food, gambling, the dopamine goes, like you say, towards the healthier behaviors.

I know a lot of people who have also got through their addictions through running, and there seems to be like a bit of correlation there that if you are, you have a tendency, you know, whether you're neurodivergent or not, you have this tendency towards dopamine seeking and you have addictive tendency.

If we can transfer that over to something like exercise or running, we notice that we stick, we stick to it because the dopamine seeking doesn't disappear.

Like, we can't just go, you know, I've got a diagnosis now.

What's going on?

That's going to go away, that's going to go away and I'm just going to be fine.

We have to make these active choices and say, right, this is.

This is going to be my brain, these are going to be my tendencies.

How can I work with them?

So it's working for me, not against me.

And so I was going to say, like, if you have, and I know we're all human here, if you have weeks, days where you don't want to exercise, where you're feeling shit, you're tired, you're overwhelmed, you burn out.

And again, I want to go back to.

Just because we're ADHD coaches and we understand this world a little bit better doesn't mean we don't have those bad days, those bad weeks, and where our ADHD kind of gets on top of us.

So how do you claw through that?

How do you kind of like, break down the cycle and start again?

Yeah, and I have days like that and weeks like that all the time.

And I think, as you say, the journey, even up to this, there was a lot of going backwards and forwards at first, because you're an addict at the end of the day, and I was still around, everyone I was around was not doing what I was doing.

They wasn't going to yoga, they wasn't going to the gym.

So there was a lot of going to the gym and then sometimes having moments where I'd fell back into it.

So that went backwards and forwards for a very, very long time.

And now, like last week, I had a week where I was, like, I said, get on my mat every morning and I can't be bothered.

I just can't be bothered.

But I really believe that I will always find a way to do something.

And on the days last week that I really felt like I was laying here thinking, oh, God, there's only, I Can only do a few stretches and that's all I can manage today.

I will always try and get out on a walk or even if it's a walk to like the shops or something like that, I will move my body in some way and how I overcome that is again, like you said, it's a choice that I, I make because at the end of the day we can choose to just not do anything and, you know, make that decision.

But for me, I know the impact it will have on the rest of my day if I don't move or if I don't do that for my brain, I know what the consequence is and it's more chaos for me.

It's the fear as well.

I suppose for me is my mental health always.

But it's then just doing what I can.

Like before I went, because I was an addict in the other direction when I got into my exercise and I really went that way eventually, like really, really into it, I was also addicted to exercise.

Right?

That's.

That was the thing.

I went to the extreme.

I lost all my estrogen, wasn't having periods, and I became addicted the other way.

So that wasn't healthy either.

So what I now do is if my body is tired and it's not doing what what I plan to do that morning, I will find a way to do something.

But it doesn't matter how small that is.

It hasn't got to be 20,000 steps or a whole yoga class.

It's just got to be something.

And what is good enough and what's going to make me feel, you know, like I, you know, moved and I've done something that's nourishing for my body and my brain instead of putting that pressure on to go right, I've got to do a whole yoga class.

I have to lift weights today.

I have to do this amount of steps.

So I think if someone out there is like, you know, struggling even to get started or to stay consistent, it's.

How do you resparkalize it?

Resparkalize it.

It doesn't have to look the same every day.

Yeah, that's what I say.

Respark.

Is that a rosy word?

I think it might be a racy word.

Yeah.

I use it in my clients and everyone comments on it.

There's not one person that has a comment, but it is responding.

Our brains are going to get bored, whatever it is.

Even if you go for a movement class that you absolutely love, we will always find a way to get bored of what we're doing.

So resparkalizers Sometimes that for me is instead of starting my morning with yoga, I'm going to now change it to I walk first, then I do yoga.

Or it's normally the thing that's missing for me when I'm getting bored.

And it's always the same thing is my playlist.

As soon as I've changed my playlist, I'm like, oh, I'm motivated again.

So that's what I say, resparkalize.

Look at the things that.

How can you change it a little bit?

And it's not always like a big thing.

Right.

But maybe you're getting bored of training on your own.

So now it's about.

It's time to try something local and go to a class or vice versa.

It's just looking at ways of changing it and accepting that we are going to get bored.

You are not going to do the same thing for 10 years.

I've done this for 10 years.

But it's, oh, my God, it's changed all the time.

It had to.

And I think what you're just saying then is just like, just give yourself permission to lean into the brain that we've got and we will get bored.

We get bored of certain careers, we get bored of certain relationships, like you say, exercise plans.

And instead of beating ourselves up and punishing ourselves for not being consistent and sticking to the same thing all the time, it's like, let's embrace it.

Let's work with that.

You know, I want to leave the listeners after this conversation really being able to learn how they can use their brain for their.

For the best life and to thrive.

Exactly.

And to not be limited and see our challenges for what they are.

But instead of being in this loop of, well, I can't do that.

I'm not doing it at all.

You know, the all or nothing thinking of if I don't feel like exercising today, well, that's it.

My exercise mojo's gone.

And leaning into, you know, I have so many days and weeks where something in my career or the business or something, and I'm like, oh.

And I kind of just want to do the whole.

I want to close it all down.

But yeah, those days.

But I've learned that that's not real.

That's just me wanting to, I'm going to use your word, resparkalize something.

There's something that is sucking and depleting my energy.

And we can look at that in everything.

You know, we can look at it in our homes, like something like needs decluttering relationships, friendships, like we are.

It's okay to say, and again, I'm going to go back to you, that if the people that you were hanging around with were pulling you back to those addictive patterns, it's okay to let certain friendships go and it's okay to let certain careers or businesses or things go and be okay with that.

Because we have this, we have perpetuated this sort of cycle of self punishment that we aren't doing things according to the neurotypical way.

And very often it's our own expectations holding us down, it's our own internal pressures and no one else gives a shit.

No one else really cares.

So, no, they don't.

Yeah, I just want to add sorry, bomb, because I'm going to do that thing where it's going to plan.

Bye.

Bye.

You know what you just said there about letting go of shame?

Because again, remember, I always think of addiction or unhealthy habits.

It lives in shame.

So actually the more we're trying to do something positive or make a change and we keep feeling this shame because one day we haven't done it right, the more the negative thing is going to grow.

So as soon as we can let go of shame in that moment and be like, right, okay, it's just a day I've got to change stuff that's such a healthier way to view it.

Especially if you've got an addictive personality and it's something unhealthy that you're trying to overcome.

And I always say that it's the shame that actually keeps dragging us back.

It's that moment when, oh, I've done two weeks of great exercise, but now I've messed it up for that day and now I hate myself because, you know, I'm never gonna do it.

That is like key if you can try and notice what words are coming up in those moments.

Again, having a deeper why behind why you want to exercise is the way to overcome those days too.

Why is that important?

Why is it important to you?

Who do you become by having a healthier routine or having movement in your life?

Because if you can discover that, then on the days it feels a bit more difficult, you know why you're doing it.

It's not just to have, you know, surface level stuff like, I just want a six back.

Usually most people, when you dig deeper, there is a much deeper why behind it.

Yeah.

So tell me a little bit about you and your coaching and I guess what, you know, first of all, I love the name ADHD Untangled because like, you Say it's.

There's so much entanglement in our brain, and we just want.

So many of us just want a bit of clarity.

We just want to be able to kind of move through life without having so many things going on and to actually also understand our brains so we can, you know, work with it.

So tell me who you know, who's your typical client and how you work with them.

It's so funny that you asked me this this week because everyone's been asking me to get clear on my niche and what I do, and I'm like, I don't know who my niche is because I've got so many different types of clients with so many different transformations.

But ultimately, what I've done, when I've dug deeper this week and done all this work is, you know, my.

My big passion when I started out was like, right, I want to be an ADHD coach.

I don't even know if that exists.

Trained, and then come out of that saying, right?

After everything I'd listened to, and especially Dr.

Ned Hallowell, I was like, we, you know, use our struggle, don't let it go to waste, and rewrite that story into a story of strength.

Because I'm basic.

What I love doing is coaching people and getting them to realize that it's in those moments of struggle.

And because usually as late diagnosed ADHDers, we tend to have faced quite a lot of struggle or setbacks and, you know, perceived mistakes we've had learned a hell of a lot.

And that is strength, right?

You don't learn that in.

When times are good and you're feeling great about yourself and things are moving the way you want them to, you learn those in times of struggle.

So what I love to do and I get so excited in doing is once people have reframed it and I do a lot of reframing with my clients and looking, you know, they go, oh, I'm useless at this.

And I've always done this.

Well, what's the learning?

You know, what have you learned from that?

And that is their strength.

That's their gifts, right?

That's that.

Whether it's like.

What's the word?

Resilience, always of all my clients, or justice, sensitivity, all these things, you know, they learn, they've built so much strength from these struggles and getting them then to discover that and use that to step forward with authentic action and get.

Move closer towards their goals.

So ultimately, what I'm doing is getting aid, get them.

Get my clients to use ADHD awareness, their awareness of their ADHD to as a starting point to move closer to a life that they want to live or a goal they want to achieve, but not by changing who they are anymore, because that's what we've done for years.

You know, we've tried to reach our goals by being someone else, but actually by being more of who it is they really are.

And the things that have happened in coaching.

I've had two people currently who have left jobs they've been in, one was 10 years, one was 15.

They've just both left their jobs, become ADHD coaches and one of them a project manager.

Starting on these new career paths.

I had someone come to me who always chose toxic relationships.

She's now four months into dating a guy that she's never dated anyone like this before and she's text me and she's like, this is the first time.

Because we coached her all the way through the dating process, getting clear on her values, getting clear on what is she wanted.

And now she's, you know, dating someone that's really bringing to her life instead of taking away.

And a lot of people that I would say that had similar backgrounds to me in terms of extreme living and they're just trying now to find that happiness, I suppose, and that balance within them.

And I think a lot of the pain from my clients that comes, it comes down to they haven't been living authentically to who they are and they used my coaching as a chance to discover what that is.

Because we don't know until we get asked the right questions.

Who am I and what is it that I want from life?

Because I have no idea, as most of them come in and say to me, you know, I don't know what I want.

I know it's something else, but I don't know where to start.

So tell me how if people, you know, are listening right now and they go, yes, Rosie, sounds amazing.

Are you taking on new clients?

How can people work with you?

So I was just doing one to ones and I've got, I think availability from July now, but because I wanted to offer something that was more collaborative, more affordable because I know how expensive that, you know, coaching can be.

And something that incorporated the movement side of things I've created and it should be launched by the time this goes live, something called the ADHD movement, which is going to be my first group coaching or way of group coaching where it's going to incorporate everything I do within my one to one coaching.

So I have group coaching every week, but we'll also have exercise classes.

So either led by me or I want to start bringing in some like ADHD trained or lived experienced instructors to so they get a mix of, you know, exercise and movement.

We'll send monthly meditations, ADHD meditations and even if I'd love you to do one, if you wanted to do one.

And, and also we're going to do body doubling.

So what we'll do is have the coaching, have a body doubling session later in the week so they could get their actions done if they haven't already and get their body moving.

So I'm going to try and incorporate everything that I use and give it to people in a collaborative way and get them to connect together.

Right.

So find, move towards your tribe, I keep saying.

So yeah, so that's launching very soon and it's going to be an ongoing thing.

I'm trialing it out so it'll be trial and error and see how it goes and.

But yeah, sounds amazing.

And I'm also going to be teaching a live yoga class actually in Manchester and London at the Happy Place Festival called Untangling ADHD on the Mat.

So if you want to try ADHD yoga class, you can come there.

Amazing.

Well, make sure you give me all the links.

We'll put it in the show notes.

But you can find Rosie on Instagram.

You've got what's the website called, untangledco.com amazing.

I'll make sure it's there.

Rosie, thank you so much for your time and all.

Thank you insights and I'm sure we'll speak very soon.

I really hope you enjoyed this week's episode.

If you did and it resonated with you, I would absolutely, absolutely love it if you could share on your platforms or maybe leave a review and a rating wherever you listen to your podcasts.

And please do check out my website, ADHD womenswellbeing.co.uk for lots of free resources and paid for workshops.

I'm uploading new things all the time and I would absolutely love to see you there.

Take care and see you for the next episode.