Ada 0:00

Welcome to all things Health and Abundance podcast. This is a test where we discuss different health and abundance related issues and come with real tips and advice. 2s Today we are going to talk about the sexual act and conscious penetration with presence. In this amazing talk with Andre about conscious penetration, my beliefs about sexuality and the sexual act were totally changed. They were changed in such a way that I'm pretty convinced that I would prefer to be single, rather than go down into a superficial relationship. Hope this talk has the same effect on you. 1s And today with me is Andrea five time. Andrea has a master as a civil engineer from Auntie Anu in Trondheim, but he's also a holistic men's coach with. A speciality within male energy, masculinity and sexuality. He was certified as a No More Mr. Nice Guy coach, but in 2016, in Seattle and in 2020, he became a certified Tree Trauma Release Exercises instructor. This is a form of self regulating the nervous system in cases of fight and flight. For example, ever since his first encounter with a world of self-development, Andre has found a deep passion for conscious and present coexistence, positive polarity in relationships, meaningfulness and not least embodiment through trauma, work and transition rituals alone and in group. Thank you so much for being here with us today. I'm so excited about this talk. Can you maybe just start explaining a bit about who you are, telling us a bit about yourself

Andre 2:05

how to start telling about myself? I would describe myself as a curious and open minded man. And I also have this very nice balance. Oh, like masculine energy. Feminine energy. Being in a very male body but also have a very feminine energy. Terms of being assistive. Receptive. Compassionate, empathic which helps me in my work with with clients and and trauma work.

Ada 2:37

Yeah. That shows actually

Andre 2:39

Thank you

Ada 2:41

you can maybe start by telling us about how you work with your clients.

Andre 2:46

Well, first of all, I started like I started out with something called Normal Mr. Nice Guy coaching. I took this certification in Seattle in 2016. So it was very specifically pointed towards men that had worked with this practice or that had rented into a mr. nice corporate doctor lawyer. Uh, but I quickly I quickly shifted that more into something I called masculine empowerment coaching to, which is, um, living life. Or integrating principles in your life that is more that breathes out more of a male essence or that is more in harmony. For someone in a male body. And then I. I still do that. But then I shifted more into holistic coaching, which is more inspired, inspired by Jungian psychology. But it's also quite intuitive. It requires a lot of receptiveness from my side. And what we actually do is that we we work a lot with addictions, of course, includes a I would call it initiation of the psyche, which is really important and why people actually seek coaching, especially male coaching. Initiation of the psyche that you go from a body to a man and that requires to change your relationship about yourself with the world. Meaning you go from the from the in the mind state of a boy to a man like chronologically and and it it can actually many men are grown up, but in silence men can have partial themselves, which needs to be looked at and healed like the the inner child. So it's yeah, a lot of work with addiction family dynamic and how it really all patterns how they are influencing our present day life in in choices in relationship. Um. What I specialize in is you develop a empathy for yourself, especially regarding addictions, because the biggest addiction we may have is is towards shame or the addiction to feel shame, because that's been such a big part of our upbringing, and also to help my clients develop empathy by bringing in possibilities, bringing in choice. But regardless, regardless if one is acting out or not, and doesn't have the attachment to which helps us with, which helps our relationship, are pure selfs about addiction be changed and hence it doesn't have the same grip grip on us.

U1

Ada 5:39

You mentioned the inner child and family dynamic that you work a lot with that. So I guess a lot or I assume a lot of the things you work with addictions and addiction to shame, family dynamics and actually connect it to the inner child, right?

Andre 5:58

You're definitely. You know that. The more clients I meet, the more I learn about it, the more the more I learn about myself. Or, um, like how the inner child, how the adapting, adapting to survive, rather adapting to to live along and how we are really empathic and codependent beings and to. You have to develop a clarity about that and be aware, like, well, in fact, in order for this human incarnation to to live life on earth, to be pra, I need it really to be. Yeah. If you adapt to like my environment.

Ada 6:42

Well, today we said that we are going to talk more in depth about conscious penetration with presence. I can say that I don't know much about the subject, so I'm really curious to hear about it. And while I was googling it a bit, I connected it to Tantra. So I don't know if there is a connection between tantra and conscious penetration with presence, but so do you. Maybe just describe shortly what conscious penetration is and how it connects or it doesn't to Tantra? U2

Andre 7:51

Okay. Hmm. I would start by saying conscious penetration is very opposite to how we are unfortunately conditioned sexually in the world today. Well, unfortunately, my generation and younger generations, we are, whether we like it or not. And I don't know why we allow it, but we are conditioned to our pornography hyper stimulated images. Uh, it's overwhelming for nervous system. Yeah. Overwhelming us, saying it's it's too much. It's too fast. It's too old. It's it's. Yeah. Like giving alcohol to a ten year old or making a ten year old smoke cigarette or youth drugs.

U1

Ada 8:07

You know, it's very interesting, actually, what you just said. Okay. Yeah. It's like giving alcohol or cigarettes to a ten year old. And then how does that affect us in general?

Andre 8:17

Well, how does it affect that affect? It certainly affects the circuits in the brain. Um, our pleasure responds, but well, with the health sense of it all is kept away from the body. You do not have the mind body connection that is required for conscious penetration, or the mind body connection that we so much want to have. The the sense of being a whole being a felt sense of being a whole being, um, which is so undesirable really for humans out with all the stimulation over stimulation, hyper stimulation, the energy goes straight into the head to the mental sphere.

Ada 9:04

Okay, I understand that. So basically conscious penetration is the opposite of this, right?

Andre 9:11

Yeah. I'll just start by by owning, owning my story. I was also very conditioned and addicted to porn. Uh, it was something I used a daily, especially when I start to study in university to cope with, with all the stress. Uh, like using it as a coping mechanism, but in essence, it was really numbing my pleasure response, both in my brain, my body. So I really, really had to put myself through a, a detoxifying regime. Basically, I, I went like for months and for free for years, like, uh, not not watching pornography, not not masturbating in the way I was conditioned to. I also went really deep for a while. I didn't eat any sugars, I didn't drink alcohol, I didn't own computer, even on a smartphone. So I really assumed myself to. Or I attuned myself to becoming fine tuned to my environment, which helped me to really be sensitive in my brain, embodied, and that helped me to discover the potential with sensuality, with with penetration, with with how sex is more a energetic thing rather than a physical letting go of the external stimulus and deciding not to watch porn for a long period made you become more sensitive in brain and body.

And this is how you discovered conscious penetration and you started working with that.

Yeah, basically to be hyper stimulated, like pornography or being taught by someone who's older than you, that you should masturbate this way as a man, then that happens. That happens because like we as as human beings, we need elders, we need guidance. We need someone to tell us how things were and how we should do things. We need it regardless if it's the if it's the wrong elder. You could say like tomography or someone who is conscious, they will teach us today because we we are yearning for it. We are. We are hungry for being taught something. Uh, but if it's the wrong teaching, we are integrating, uh, what is not harmonious with or with our body. And one what I'm talking about this to go from the experience of being in fight flight mode when it came to sexuality at which doesn't really work. Yeah, I definitely could go into or to have the experience and felt sense of being in a parasympathetic, being fully relaxed, being in contact with the heart and to be aroused from that state, state, in the body, state, in the nervous system. I was a game changer for me, and it was a game changer because I asked myself the question, what is the potentiality with sex? What is really the the desired outcome or start outcome may be the wrong word, but what is really. They are possible. It's not the climax,

And what is potentiality with such? According to your experience, if you want to share it with us,

I was writing it down and I guess it also related to the to the later questions. Um. Um, I want to say that beyond our normal senses, as human human beings, we are way more than what we think we are. We do have the capacity and the ability, I guess, or I believe all of us, when when we are sensitive enough and receptive enough, we. Ah well, energetically and intuitively we go beyond what we are as, as and as bodies, I would say. . So what I'm trying to say is that checks are done in a conscious manner, a very present manner, as a male, in a very receptive manner, as a woman, have the potential potential to bring about deep healing, uh, has the potential to, you know, get this wow experience. It has the potential to, um, well, experience what is infinite. And it has the potential to experience timelessness, like non non-dual experiences, like experiences that are hard to put words to, but that can only be experienced in the long.

Wow. This was very profound. Um, so the role of a female is being receptive?

Yeah. First of all, a woman can be truly receptive when she really trusts the man, that the man trusts himself enough to be truly present. Uh, wind all non-verbal clues from a woman that the man can be really present about what's going on in himself, within himself, in the woman and within the woman. Uh, so that a man can truly be present with what is happening in a woman energetically and what is happening inside a woman's vagina. So conscious penetration with presence meaning means to, well, first of all, be present, but also be sensitive in your cock, both physically but also energetically to. 1s To really be able to feel a woman in sight, like both physically but also energetically. Where is where? Where am I? Where is the woman? Is she here? How is my presence affecting her? Um. And how does it feel for her to have my cock inside her? Because the vagina, or the connection between the mind and the vagina and the heart and the vagina, and really affect how a call is received. Um, and the intention with the penetration from the male perspective has a lot to do with how a woman can receive a man. 1s So to get back to your initial question, and the role of the woman is to be receptive. Yes, definitely. I mean, imagine a man is penetrating. A woman is being treated. But once the woman can fully trust that that man is there, there is a constant health center or being cared for. There is a constant felt sense of the man is present enough not to overstep. I need boundaries, even boundaries. I don't know myself as a woman. Then one can truly be receptive.

So it's a lot about trust.

While I simply put the best way for a man to gain trust with himself or about himself is to let go of the outcome of sex, the outcome of penetration. And is it what I talked about in the beginning, to be able to reserve, to be aroused in a parasympathetic state so that I as a man, I don't need anything from the woman of need. I don't need the vagina to be to stimulate me. So whilst there can be a a true relaxation. Ah, once the man can truly relax with itself sexually and to penetrate from that point or from that place. Then a magic happen for a man to trust himself. Well, I'm. I'm wheeling my body from a total relax, from a relaxed present. And I can be present, and I can be as slow as I need to be as I want to be. And then both parties can truly relax and let the sexual act unfold in full. Rather than a linear thing. Why? This is why this will be the outcome. And then the magic and then the magic can happen. Happen because there is so much happening. Then energetically.

So this doesn't sound like the distinction of getting out in town, getting drunk and trying to get laid, basically. So this is, to me at least, it sounds like quite the opposite of it, right?

Yeah,

Ada 18.10

a 30s break. And stay tuned because we're coming back. 2s I do stressed, anxious or in need of a change in your life and well-being. Start by booking a free 30 minutes strategy session with me. You can do that by going on my website 2s and finding an appropriate time in my calendar. If you are unsure, you can start by sending an email and I'll get back to you. And remember, life is too short to waste it not feeling good. 2s Welcome back after this short advertising continuing with the same subject.

How can a man get there to that point? I mean, you mentioned how you got there. Dissociating yourself from external stimulus as much as possible. Is that the only way or is there something else a man can do to achieve this state?

Well, the classical thing, which all religions and philosophers, religions and. Philosophers are talking about is to. Be able to, uh, postpone gratification. Um, I mean, today, unfortunately, we we have so much instant gratification. Um, there is so much acting on impulses rather than. Sitting back, take a deep breath and ask yourself if you really want it. I would say that there are certain male characteristics that are really important to embody. And that would be like stoicism. Um, going through something that is truly tough and physically exhausting. Because as, um, as a man, to have this sense that one can go beyond what we are, what we believe, we are physically conditioned to that, tempering about too much mastery and self-gratification. So that in itself can can lead to develop the skills or to activate the different already embodied skills we have. I don't know if that's an answer to the question, but it it's a really it's a very nice discussion to have. FEMA. Yeah. So what I've been doing, you know, everything from fasting to go through what is unpleasant. The more academics, the more going through what is unpleasant, the more I can feel, more I can feel lost. Um, okay. So you mean not really pushing away what is unpleasant? What we try, what most people try to do on their everyday life. Like pushing away what they don't like, what feels it. It's unpleasant and just numbing their brain with something else in order not to think

it’s the opposite of it. Yeah. Relationships and cautious penetration. How does that affect relationship?

Well, first of all, I want to say something. And last week I met a press worker who continuously and we talked very deeply about sexuality because she was doing a education within tantric sexology. And in that conversation, 1s we were exploring realm that I hadn't been exploring before, though, regarding relationship. Um, 2s she asked me like, what this is, what does it require for a man to actually be able to circulate with the sexual energy? Because what we want regarding courses, penetration and tantra, it is quite obvious that there is no goal to actually expel the energy. Or rather, is the received a practice of being present and basically gave every answer like yeah, that's heart connection to be connected with a heart that is truly pulling the energy and circulating energy, uh, away from from the from the sex centers. So how does this affects relationship conscious penetration? I would say that conscious penetration brings in harmony. And what what is that? I, I once I was to read, I read the book called Cupid's Poisoned Arrow. So Cupid's poisoned arrow talked about how conventional sex, how it actually brings couples away from each other rather than over time, making them more attracted to each other. Well, they. Yeah, because they talk about how the first climax with a person that first on the really big pressure response, it can never be as high as the first stop. And if we're chase chasing for that high through the same partner, our brain will tell us that you're done. Really? You're done with her, you're done with him. 1s And another part of us are telling like, no, but you want to be with you. You want to be with her. 1s So positive connotation in the way it practice. 1s And it's also this is also tied to slow sex. The practice of non ejaculation can bring about harmony in the body, in the brain, in a nervous system. During reading this book, I had like several aha moments because from one tantra school I went to in my 20s, they told us, well, as long as men don't ejaculate, oh it's fine. But then through that book and through my own experience, I was told that if I, as a man, go over a certain arousal intensity that call it the 0%, the non aroused 100% too much, then you ejaculate. But if I stay like above 90% for a long time and only stay there, my nervous system will be like burnt out. It will be overwhelmed because the body is ready itself to be impregnated and when the body is not allowed for that, once we are telling the body it will be allowed to, then it's just it left being frustrated. 1s To waltzing is avoiding climaxes. Another thing is avoiding they too much, too much, too aroused because women is leaving the partner in a very aroused state. That also brings about a friction, I would say, in a relationship though Cupid's poisoned arrow and in combination with with the book Slow Sex by Diane Richardson, which I also read, brings so much meaning that sex should be practiced also in a very slow way, in a way that is really harmonious for for both men and women, so that when in a relationship, instead of experiencing a lot of ups and downs, one can experience it, experience long term harmony that actually bonds us closer and closer because one can engage in sex from a. I would say. From the place of stimulating the dopaminergic system. A likely journey to town from uh, or, uh, just have a release used to bodies use each other to have a release to something completely different to activate oxytocin and peer bonding mechanism in the brain that actually makes us harmonize and feel closer and feel more trustful towards ourselves and a partner.

Yeah, that was quite something. I was really concentrated listening to this. So why would anyone actually trade this for. Just using each other bodies for achieving ejaculation or. Yeah. The highest point there. Why wouldn't everyone do this? It comes to be very natural to ask this, like. Is it because of lack of knowledge?

Oh yeah. Lack of knowledge. Lack or global myths like I have already said. Terminology. Slow food. I have to think about it, because how about slow living? Right. We are living very occupied and unfortunately stressful lives. Most of us we are in we are in environments that are not the best for our nervous system. We are not that much in touch with nature, but once we are in our natural habitats. Our nervous system is in its natural expression. Then I believe that sex can be different than in modern day living. I mean, could we say that conscious penetration is about. Is the experience of one of living more natural or or being more natural with self towards self?

Yeah. Why not? It sounds about right.

David did us like famous quote like the way you penetrate your woman is do it how it penetrates the world and vice versa. The way you do one thing is the way to everything. So conscious penetration is so much more than just sex that it's encompassing everything in life. What only how and sleep. Do it direct with what? One thing you are.

U1

Okay. Yeah, I understand it's about becoming cautious about everything.

Does that help to release trauma?

So women have a connection with the vagus nerve from the China to the heart. Men don't have the same connection from her on their call to the Lord. And when a man is not ejaculating or doesn't have the exact outcome of ejaculating a sex, 1s sex can last for so much, much longer. 1s Like one can go from having sex in till all hours of lovemaking. Um, and it is said that if a woman is being, well, first of all, penetrated enough, but also if a woman can receive the penetration and if the man can intentionally penetrate the woman more than his physical member, then at least in that way a woman can experience such a heart opening. 1s I believe, and I've experienced, and I also have listened to older men who are blameless, who are truly present and aware about how their energy is affecting themselves and their women. That. 1s The intention with penetration. And the awareness that sex is beyond the physical work, also into the emotional and energetic sphere or domain. 1s With that awareness, sex can become very healing. And both for a man and a woman, but for a woman that she truly opens her heart. I believe that if a woman allows herself to be penetrated like that from from a conscious and aware man, that also includes or entails that her hearts need to be open, and opening their hearts, first of all, requires courage, vulnerability, because the inner child will definitely show. To be in connection with self. In a way that we human beings truly desire desires, simultaneously feels that it feels so painful to go there. That can happen through sex because our internal defenses or our internal shields, or melted away because of. Well. Lovemaking. 1s Long meeting. I'm just trying to. Explore what it is like is making love. Is that facilitating for us to feel connection with ourselves, a connection we truly, truly desire, but have the space and connection to let it unfold? Good thinking out loud. U1

No, it's, uh. It's beautiful. But as while you were saying that, I thought maybe that's what it is about. We are trying to find that connection all along. Maybe the connection to the divine that we lose when we incarnate. And that's why we need this connection with another human being. Um, in order to to try to connect again to what we feel we have lost.

And personally, it is something I can feel that like. Having sex with someone I'm truly connected with and truly, truly love and desire. Um, that brings me into dimensions in my mind, or into thoughts which are only accessible again during sex or the experience after sex. So I believe it's very true. Or like I can really echo what you're saying. And I also want to say that how can sex or conscious penetration be healing for men? 1s I talked about the heart connection as the catalyst or catalyst for, yeah, for women, but also for men to be work related sexual energy. That's a big thing. Like how do you actually instead of avoiding ejaculating, how do you feel or how do you allow sexual energy? You served within a body, truly glanced through the horror because it it's so and so nourishing the sexual energy like one thing is creating life by, well, ejaculating inside a woman's woman's womb. But one thing is allowing life to grow through your body as a man. It is. It is truly vitalizing and and refreshingly, if you ask me, on word

U1

How to practice all his that we've been talking about today.

Well, the seminars and what I've been offering so far. This. The lectures and workshops that I've been holding in different the festival, especially in the Tantra Festival. It's truly great to be invited to an and teach, you know, seminars. It's. It's so opening for a room. It's. Yeah, but what I'm mostly doing is, is one on one coaching. Um, whether it be for, for women, whether it be for men don't want to go on coaching.

How can people find you?

I would have liked to give you a web page. That's in the making. The best would be to, you know, look me up on Facebook, under forum or my my email address or or call me up.

I am so happy that you said yes to actually being here with us. For me, it was really eye opening. Definitely buying those books Cupid, Poison Arrow and slaw sets. And it was really lovely to have you here talking about the subject that maybe is not really touched upon so much, but it's really needed nowadays, I believe.

Yeah.

Thank you. Thank you so much for being here.

Likewise

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