1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:03,880 There was picking the carpet, which to me, it was like, 2 00:00:03,880 --> 00:00:07,320 here's a swatch of carpet. Do you like it? Yes. Get that one. That is 3 00:00:07,320 --> 00:00:10,640 not how my husband's brain works. You cannot 4 00:00:10,880 --> 00:00:14,720 judge your success by anybody else's. And anybody 5 00:00:14,720 --> 00:00:18,560 who wants to judge yours by theirs 6 00:00:19,040 --> 00:00:22,480 can get bent and get 7 00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:26,280 bent hard. I said to my husband, I'm gonna buy a new desk. And he 8 00:00:26,280 --> 00:00:28,400 was like, I'm not letting you put a new desk in that office until that 9 00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:30,560 carpet's out of there. And I was like, I'm not letting you put a new 10 00:00:30,560 --> 00:00:33,660 desk in this office until that carpet's out of. Don't tell me what to do. 11 00:00:33,660 --> 00:00:37,100 He was kind of right. It did smell like funky ass dog in here. 12 00:00:38,220 --> 00:00:41,820 Boop. Hi, everybody. I'm Lauren Howard. 13 00:00:41,820 --> 00:00:45,300 Welcome to Different Not Broken, which is our 14 00:00:45,300 --> 00:00:48,940 podcast on exactly that. That there are a lot of people in this world walking 15 00:00:48,940 --> 00:00:52,780 around feeling broken, and the reality is you're just different, and that's fine. 16 00:00:55,260 --> 00:00:58,980 You should know that I am officially the mother of a 17 00:00:58,980 --> 00:01:02,440 10 year old, which is rude 18 00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:06,840 and kind of bullshit because nobody told her that she was 19 00:01:06,840 --> 00:01:10,440 allowed to do that. I certainly did not. She did not ask my 20 00:01:10,440 --> 00:01:14,240 permission. People keep telling me that I need to stop feeding her if I 21 00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:17,560 want her to stop growing, but they whine a lot when you don't feed them. 22 00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:21,880 They, like, constantly ask for food, and so 23 00:01:22,360 --> 00:01:25,800 that's not an option. She's also in the middle of a growth spurt, and she's 24 00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:29,610 eating 10 times what I do. It's 25 00:01:29,610 --> 00:01:33,450 a little scary to watch in that it's also fascinating and 26 00:01:33,450 --> 00:01:37,170 amazing to watch. So 10 years ago, yesterday 27 00:01:37,170 --> 00:01:41,010 night, I was finally getting around 28 00:01:41,010 --> 00:01:44,530 and by finally, three days after the fact, getting around to unpacking 29 00:01:45,250 --> 00:01:49,090 all of the swag from our baby shower, which my mom 30 00:01:49,090 --> 00:01:52,730 had booked or scheduled for when I was 34 weeks 31 00:01:52,730 --> 00:01:56,440 pregnant. And me being pregnant for the first time 32 00:01:56,440 --> 00:01:59,760 and not understanding how things work 33 00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:03,720 said, I don't know, that seems really early. She was like, no, I don't think 34 00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:06,240 it's early. And I was like, I don't know, it feels pretty early. And she 35 00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:09,920 was like, I don't think it's early. I was like, okay. And so 36 00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:13,360 we had a lovely baby shower on a Saturday. 37 00:02:13,920 --> 00:02:17,200 And the following Thursday, I was 38 00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:20,780 organizing things and doing the very, 39 00:02:20,780 --> 00:02:24,140 very beginnings of what I believe now was nesting that I 40 00:02:24,620 --> 00:02:28,340 didn't get to do much of, and touching all the 41 00:02:28,340 --> 00:02:31,820 things and looking at all the tiny clothes and going to pee every 42 00:02:31,820 --> 00:02:35,500 45 seconds because she was, like, elbowing my bladder 43 00:02:35,739 --> 00:02:38,860 Constantly. And feeling like 44 00:02:39,580 --> 00:02:42,620 you're at the point where you're like, this is enough. I don't need to do 45 00:02:42,620 --> 00:02:46,460 this any longer. She's probably fine, right? And no, don't do 46 00:02:46,460 --> 00:02:49,380 that. You should not have a baby at 34 weeks. But that was how I 47 00:02:49,380 --> 00:02:52,660 felt at the time. I can't say this too much because I was only ever 48 00:02:52,660 --> 00:02:55,660 pregnant for seven months. But you do get to seven months and you're like, this 49 00:02:55,660 --> 00:02:59,460 is enough time. Isn't she cooked? And so 50 00:02:59,940 --> 00:03:03,140 I had been feeling weird all day. And again, 51 00:03:03,620 --> 00:03:07,420 never been pregnant before. Don't know what versions of weird I should be looking out 52 00:03:07,420 --> 00:03:10,260 for. And me feeling weird just makes it a Thursday. 53 00:03:11,310 --> 00:03:14,190 Had been with my dad all day. My dad was pretty sick at the time 54 00:03:15,070 --> 00:03:18,550 and just had these weird feelings, this weird feeling of 55 00:03:18,550 --> 00:03:22,230 pressure. Constantly unloaded all the stuff. Looked at him, went, wow, we have 56 00:03:22,230 --> 00:03:26,030 such lovely friends and family. I can't wait for six weeks from now when we 57 00:03:26,030 --> 00:03:27,390 get to use all this stuff. 58 00:03:30,190 --> 00:03:33,950 And said to my husband, you know what? I'm gonna go lay down because I'm 59 00:03:33,950 --> 00:03:37,630 white. I feel weird. Everything's weird. I'm wiped. 60 00:03:37,630 --> 00:03:41,430 I'm going to go lay down. And went and laid down. Fell asleep pretty quickly. 61 00:03:42,230 --> 00:03:44,910 Woke up at like 2 o' clock in the morning because I had to go 62 00:03:44,910 --> 00:03:47,910 to the bathroom really bad. Went to the bathroom 63 00:03:48,550 --> 00:03:51,750 and felt this discernible pop 64 00:03:52,310 --> 00:03:55,790 and went, oh, shit. Called for. My 65 00:03:55,790 --> 00:03:58,790 husband said, I think my water just broke. 66 00:03:59,430 --> 00:04:02,870 To which he said, what? No, it didn't. And I was like, I don't know 67 00:04:02,870 --> 00:04:06,340 that it didn't, but I also don't know that it did. I don't know. 68 00:04:06,980 --> 00:04:09,500 I just. I think my water just broke. And I think I need to go 69 00:04:09,500 --> 00:04:12,420 to the hospital. To which he said, okay, give me five minutes to shower. 70 00:04:13,220 --> 00:04:16,940 And got in the shower while I was standing there with my water 71 00:04:16,940 --> 00:04:20,780 broken, I think. I didn't know. I didn't know. We didn't know 72 00:04:20,780 --> 00:04:24,020 what was happening. I had never been pregnant before. This was all brand new. He 73 00:04:24,020 --> 00:04:26,500 did take a shower. And I tried to drive myself to the hospital because I 74 00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:30,350 was so fucking mad at him. I was so mad at him that he 75 00:04:30,350 --> 00:04:33,750 decided that was the time to take a shower. He was like, what was I 76 00:04:33,750 --> 00:04:37,310 supposed to do? I can't go there dirty. You can't go What? What? 77 00:04:37,550 --> 00:04:41,310 You can't what? So I tried to drive myself. I could not. I called 78 00:04:41,310 --> 00:04:44,230 him from my car and said, you need to get out here right now because 79 00:04:44,230 --> 00:04:47,830 I can't drive. It hurts too much. And he was like, I was coming the 80 00:04:47,830 --> 00:04:51,150 whole time. And I was like, none of you were in the fucking shower 81 00:04:51,390 --> 00:04:54,990 anyway. Get to the hospital. They were like, 82 00:04:55,150 --> 00:04:58,150 oh, well, July 1st is a fun day to have a baby. And I was 83 00:04:58,150 --> 00:05:01,800 like, nope, this is six. We're supposed to be six weeks from now. We're not 84 00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:05,040 doing this. And they were like, no, this baby's coming. And I was like, no, 85 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:08,200 it's not. You're so silly. No, it's not. And they were like, yes, this baby's 86 00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:11,840 coming. And I was like, no. I said no. 12 hours later, 87 00:05:11,840 --> 00:05:15,440 after 12 hours of labor but 23 minutes of active 88 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:19,080 pushing, they handed me a baby. And like her mother, she didn't like to 89 00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:22,840 wait. And she was born six weeks early, but exactly on time. 90 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:27,040 And she has become the funniest, silliest, smartest, 91 00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:30,360 tallest. This child came up to me and put her head on my shoulder last 92 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:33,600 week. No. Hard no. Not allowed. 93 00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:38,120 She's so quick witted. She's got a better pun game than any adult 94 00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:41,080 I have ever met by a margin of a lot. She blows me away with 95 00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:44,600 the things that her brain is able to keep up with. She really likes Settlers 96 00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:48,360 of Catan. She's a big fan of Catan. She 97 00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:52,160 loves Lord of the Rings. Loves Lord of the Rings. Just 98 00:05:52,160 --> 00:05:55,720 raising a proper nerd and it feels good. She 99 00:05:55,720 --> 00:05:58,920 is the light of my life, except for her sister, who is also another light 100 00:05:58,920 --> 00:06:02,760 of my life. But it's a different light. It's a different light. She is 101 00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:05,400 like a happy, sunshiny, bright light. And 102 00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:10,000 my second child is like a black light who exposes all of your deep 103 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:13,760 flaws and everything gross on the carpet. That 104 00:06:13,760 --> 00:06:17,240 is their completely opposite vibes. Neither is a complaint. They're both 105 00:06:17,240 --> 00:06:20,930 perfect. Being a mom is the best thing I've ever done. It's also the hardest 106 00:06:20,930 --> 00:06:24,130 thing I've ever done. It took us four years to get pregnant. It has taken 107 00:06:24,130 --> 00:06:27,810 me a really long time to figure out how to be the mom I want 108 00:06:27,810 --> 00:06:31,210 to be and how to care about the right things 109 00:06:31,450 --> 00:06:35,010 and how to get out of the what should be 110 00:06:35,010 --> 00:06:38,810 happening and what's supposed to happen and look at what 111 00:06:38,810 --> 00:06:41,730 actually is happening and what is right for our family and our kids. And that 112 00:06:41,730 --> 00:06:45,450 has been a long time struggle. But man, these 113 00:06:45,450 --> 00:06:48,210 kids make me laugh every day. They make me 114 00:06:48,930 --> 00:06:52,370 better every day. They make me more compassionate every day. 115 00:06:52,530 --> 00:06:56,210 They test my limits every day. They both have 116 00:06:56,210 --> 00:06:59,890 identified limits I didn't know I had and also showed me the 117 00:07:00,370 --> 00:07:03,810 unending lengths I will go to. And 118 00:07:04,930 --> 00:07:07,010 I can actually say that I have been 119 00:07:08,050 --> 00:07:11,770 responsible for the health and welfare of another human for 10 120 00:07:11,770 --> 00:07:15,490 years and I have not irreparably fucked it up yet. 121 00:07:15,490 --> 00:07:19,010 That's something to be proud of. So happy birthday to my 122 00:07:19,010 --> 00:07:22,730 oldest baby who has somehow been around for a decade, 123 00:07:23,210 --> 00:07:26,810 which cannot be possible because she is just an 124 00:07:26,810 --> 00:07:30,530 itty bitty tiny widow baby who fits in my 125 00:07:30,530 --> 00:07:34,330 pocket and came into this world 126 00:07:35,140 --> 00:07:38,740 six weeks early at 5 pounds 11 ounces and 127 00:07:38,740 --> 00:07:42,020 19 inches long, which is almost a normal birth weight 128 00:07:42,740 --> 00:07:45,940 and as long as most full term babies. 129 00:07:46,580 --> 00:07:49,620 And she has stayed that tall ever since. 130 00:07:50,340 --> 00:07:53,540 And I want to reinforce that is rude. 131 00:07:54,100 --> 00:07:57,620 I did get a fancy new desk. It's all shiny and 132 00:07:58,180 --> 00:08:01,950 lacquer y and looks all professional and 133 00:08:01,950 --> 00:08:05,630 stuff. And I rearranged my office with my new desk. 134 00:08:05,630 --> 00:08:09,270 We've had builder grade carpet in this room since we bought the 135 00:08:09,270 --> 00:08:12,510 house. We just took their cheap carpet and we planned to replace it at some 136 00:08:12,510 --> 00:08:16,310 point. And at some point apparently was 10 years later. In 137 00:08:16,310 --> 00:08:19,870 the process of those 10 years we have had a number of 138 00:08:19,870 --> 00:08:23,390 puppies including more than one househorse. 139 00:08:23,390 --> 00:08:26,790 And the fact that the carpet had any structural 140 00:08:26,790 --> 00:08:30,620 integrity left that it hadn't become just dust that we were all 141 00:08:30,620 --> 00:08:34,220 breathing in is actually pretty impressive. And a lot to say about builder grade 142 00:08:34,220 --> 00:08:37,580 carpet because this stuff was here for a long time and had been through a 143 00:08:37,580 --> 00:08:41,100 thing or two. The number of times that it got steam 144 00:08:41,100 --> 00:08:44,100 cleaned in a short period of time due to 145 00:08:44,820 --> 00:08:48,620 a puppy. Because I don't care what kind of flooring is in my office. My 146 00:08:48,620 --> 00:08:51,940 dogs are coming in my office. I don't want to have an office 147 00:08:52,500 --> 00:08:56,300 if my dogs aren't allowed it. I have this office so I 148 00:08:56,300 --> 00:08:59,990 can give my dogs a better life. I've thought about getting a new desk for 149 00:08:59,990 --> 00:09:03,470 a while and then my setup in my office has been 150 00:09:03,470 --> 00:09:06,550 imperfect for quite a while for a lot of reasons. But I will just like 151 00:09:06,550 --> 00:09:10,390 make do with things for so fricking long. For so long. I 152 00:09:10,390 --> 00:09:14,190 will use a broken ass desk for years. And I did one of the 153 00:09:14,190 --> 00:09:17,830 desks that I used up until I got basically a makeshift standing 154 00:09:17,830 --> 00:09:21,630 desk that I used for a couple years. Literally had a hole in the side 155 00:09:22,510 --> 00:09:26,280 cause two of our dogs got in a flight fight and knocked 156 00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:29,880 my kids art easel into it and it 157 00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:33,320 knocked a hole into the side because very clearly it was 158 00:09:33,560 --> 00:09:36,920 super expensive hardwood, also known as 159 00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:41,240 reinforced cardboard from Ikea. But it had a hole in 160 00:09:41,240 --> 00:09:44,280 the side and at one point I was like I should just get some contact 161 00:09:44,280 --> 00:09:46,960 paper and put it down the side of it so it looks like it's Like 162 00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:50,640 a fancy design. My husband's like, you're not putting contact 163 00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:53,040 paper on the desk to cover the fact that it has a hole in it. 164 00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:55,240 You can get a new desk. And I was like, I don't think I need 165 00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:59,080 to. It's probably fine. It's fine. I've been making do with 166 00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:02,000 stuff for a very long time. But for a number of reasons, we got to 167 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:04,840 a point where it was like, maybe I should actually, like, make my office look 168 00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:08,560 pretty because I have my stupid face on camera 169 00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:12,440 a lot and we should have a cool background behind us or something. I 170 00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:14,280 said to my husband, I'm going to buy a new desk. And he was like, 171 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,520 I'm not letting you put a new desk in that office until that carpet is 172 00:10:16,670 --> 00:10:19,310 out of there. And I was like, I'm not letting you put a new desk 173 00:10:19,310 --> 00:10:23,070 in this office until that carpet's out. Don't tell me what to do. But 174 00:10:23,070 --> 00:10:26,590 he was kind of right. It did smell like funky ass dog in here. 175 00:10:26,910 --> 00:10:30,430 And like many iterations of Funky ass Dog. Getting the carpet 176 00:10:30,830 --> 00:10:34,670 situated was a long process. There was, like, agreeing that we 177 00:10:34,670 --> 00:10:36,830 were going to do the carpet, then there was figuring out where we were going 178 00:10:36,830 --> 00:10:40,030 to get the carpet from, and then there was 179 00:10:40,670 --> 00:10:44,400 picking the carpet when. Which to me it was like, here's a swatch of carpet. 180 00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:47,760 Do you like it? Yes. Get that one. That is not how my husband's brain 181 00:10:47,760 --> 00:10:51,360 works. My husband has a look at every single sample of 182 00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:55,000 carpet and snuggle with it and test it with the pad 183 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:58,640 underneath it and see what colors it comes in and test 184 00:10:58,640 --> 00:11:02,080 the colors in different lighting. And what do you think of wood 185 00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:05,840 floors? And we could do wood floors, but it would take us 186 00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:09,080 a long time to find somebody who can install the wood floors. Oh, and it 187 00:11:09,080 --> 00:11:11,740 would go up against the tile floor that looks like wood. And then. And so 188 00:11:11,740 --> 00:11:15,420 we'd have to probably match it somehow. And I was finally just like, just put 189 00:11:15,420 --> 00:11:19,060 carpet in. I don't care. Just put carpet in. I don't care. It's not that 190 00:11:19,060 --> 00:11:22,820 expensive. If dogs pee on it, I will replace it. Just put carpet in. 191 00:11:22,980 --> 00:11:26,100 So we finally picked the carpet. It was like literally a two month process 192 00:11:26,900 --> 00:11:30,620 of going to Home Depot and then Lowe's and then Home Depot and then 193 00:11:30,620 --> 00:11:33,900 Lowe's and then a carpet store and then a different carpet store and then a 194 00:11:33,900 --> 00:11:37,070 wholesale carpet store and then back to Home Depot and then back to Lowe's. So 195 00:11:37,070 --> 00:11:40,910 we finally picked the carpet, and in the process, my husband decided, well, if we're 196 00:11:40,910 --> 00:11:42,990 going to do carpet in your office, we might as well, do all the areas 197 00:11:42,990 --> 00:11:46,030 that need carpet, because all of the builder carpet in our house needs to go. 198 00:11:46,350 --> 00:11:49,830 So he decides he's going to do the carpet in the kids rooms and then 199 00:11:49,830 --> 00:11:53,230 the carpet on the stairs, which, if given my dressers, I would get rid of 200 00:11:53,230 --> 00:11:57,070 the carpet altogether. But the cost difference and the skill difference 201 00:11:57,470 --> 00:12:00,990 in installing carpet versus tile 202 00:12:01,070 --> 00:12:04,720 or wood is like, night and day. And I also just didn't want to spend 203 00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:08,480 that much money. So we're trying to figure it out, and he's going 204 00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:11,280 back and forth trying to figure out what carpet to put upstairs, what carpet to 205 00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:15,120 put on the stairs, and he's getting quotes, and he's like, 206 00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:17,160 I think it's going to be this much to do your office. And I was 207 00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:20,560 like, well, it's more than I wanted to spend, but okay. He's like, and it's 208 00:12:20,560 --> 00:12:22,320 going to be this much to do the girls rooms, and it's going to be 209 00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:25,680 this much to do the stairs. And I was like, yeah, okay, all right. 210 00:12:25,760 --> 00:12:29,400 It's like, I don't think I realized that we were turning it into a project 211 00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:32,670 of that level, but if that's what we need to do, okay, that's what we 212 00:12:32,670 --> 00:12:36,110 need to do. And then he was like, well, if you don't want to spend 213 00:12:36,110 --> 00:12:37,870 that much money, we can try to figure out how to do it a different 214 00:12:37,870 --> 00:12:40,950 way. And I'm like, well, yeah, let me know what other ways there are. And 215 00:12:40,950 --> 00:12:42,830 he comes back and he's like, all right, so if we just do the girls 216 00:12:42,830 --> 00:12:45,950 room and the stairs. And I was like, what? No, 217 00:12:46,910 --> 00:12:50,670 that is not. You just removed the whole point 218 00:12:50,670 --> 00:12:53,590 of why we were doing the carpet. And he's like, but the girls room and 219 00:12:53,590 --> 00:12:55,830 stairs need to be done. And I'm like, but they did need to be done 220 00:12:55,830 --> 00:12:59,560 last week. So he's like, I'll put your office back on. I'm like, 221 00:12:59,560 --> 00:13:03,080 yes. I just think he, like, got so, like, mentally 222 00:13:03,080 --> 00:13:06,760 invested in the cost and the getting the project done that he, 223 00:13:06,760 --> 00:13:10,560 like, forgot the big goal, which is, I'm still going to harass you about the 224 00:13:10,560 --> 00:13:14,120 desk. We don't wake up one morning and go, like, no, new desk. That's not 225 00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:17,800 how my hyper fixations work, bro. That's not? No. So 226 00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:21,520 anyway, so we finally get the carpet in, and I'm 227 00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:24,950 looking everywhere for a desk. And again, I'm the person that he would, like, bring 228 00:13:24,950 --> 00:13:27,790 50 swatches to. I'd be like, which carpet do you want? And I'd be like, 229 00:13:27,790 --> 00:13:31,310 they're all great. I don't care. They're lovely. Get all of them. They're 230 00:13:31,310 --> 00:13:35,030 perfect. But then when it came to buying a desk, the way 231 00:13:35,030 --> 00:13:38,870 that I looked at every desk on the planet, the way 232 00:13:38,870 --> 00:13:42,590 that I hated something about every single desk, I saw the way that I went 233 00:13:42,590 --> 00:13:46,310 back and forth between standing desk, regular desk, 234 00:13:46,310 --> 00:13:50,080 giant desk, smaller desk, bigger l desk. Does 235 00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:53,680 it need drawers? Should it not? There are lots of places in this 236 00:13:53,680 --> 00:13:57,200 world that sell desks, and you would think 237 00:13:57,760 --> 00:14:01,200 that there are none, the way I was acting about picking this desk. 238 00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:03,560 And he would say, did you buy a desk yet? And I would say, no. 239 00:14:03,560 --> 00:14:06,240 And he'd say, why not? I'd say, because I can't find one that I like. 240 00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:10,480 He'd be like, there are literally websites that have tens of thousands of desks 241 00:14:10,480 --> 00:14:14,040 on them. And I was like, yeah, but no good ones. The things that I 242 00:14:14,040 --> 00:14:17,890 am particular about, desks and bedsheets, other than that, I could not give 243 00:14:17,890 --> 00:14:21,610 shit desks, bed sheets, and fountain Coke. Other than 244 00:14:21,610 --> 00:14:25,450 that, like, I have zero preferences about anything. You want to buy 245 00:14:25,450 --> 00:14:28,890 a new house? Sure, go do it. You want to buy cheap sheets from 246 00:14:28,890 --> 00:14:32,530 Walmart? Gross. Don't do that. That's awful. Bad idea. So finally I stumbled 247 00:14:32,530 --> 00:14:36,290 back on to this desk that I had literally looked at 10 years 248 00:14:36,290 --> 00:14:39,970 ago. There's this Italian designer who 249 00:14:39,970 --> 00:14:43,180 makes executive desks that are 250 00:14:43,980 --> 00:14:47,660 very fancy looking but not like insanely 251 00:14:47,660 --> 00:14:50,780 expensive. And I kept looking at this one at a furniture store 252 00:14:51,340 --> 00:14:54,940 online, not that far from us going, I feel like I've seen this 253 00:14:54,940 --> 00:14:58,020 before. Why do I feel like I've seen this before? And finally I got back 254 00:14:58,020 --> 00:15:01,700 to the website of the actual manufacturer and I was like, this is the 255 00:15:01,700 --> 00:15:05,220 set that I looked at when we bought this house. And I 256 00:15:05,220 --> 00:15:09,000 chickened out and didn't buy it then because it was just too expensive. We bought 257 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:12,440 this house 10 years ago. One, my tastes haven't changed much. 258 00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:16,360 Two, apparently they don't update their inventory very often. Which 259 00:15:16,360 --> 00:15:20,080 worked out fine for me. Not a complaint. So we went and we saw it 260 00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:23,120 at a furniture store that's near us. And I still didn't buy it. It was 261 00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:26,440 like a little bit more expensive than I wanted to spend. 262 00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:30,400 And they had two of the versions, but not the third version. And 263 00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:33,880 so my husband keeps going, you need a desk, just buy a desk. And I'm 264 00:15:33,880 --> 00:15:36,940 like, it's not right. It's not the right desk. It's not right. And he's, those 265 00:15:36,940 --> 00:15:40,300 are the desks that you wanted the whole time. They're the right desk. I'm like, 266 00:15:40,300 --> 00:15:44,020 no, something's not right. Nope. Because crazy person, really. 267 00:15:44,020 --> 00:15:47,540 That's really what it is. And so I'm still looking, 268 00:15:47,540 --> 00:15:51,220 and finally, I'm like, I think I'm just gonna get one of them. 269 00:15:51,220 --> 00:15:54,940 But there's, like, a third model. There's two models that 270 00:15:54,940 --> 00:15:57,660 they've had forever, and then there's a third one, and the third one I had 271 00:15:57,660 --> 00:16:01,360 never seen in person. And for some reason, it. It occurred 272 00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:05,120 to me that this furniture store that is really big in South Florida 273 00:16:05,120 --> 00:16:08,200 had opened up a new showroom up here 274 00:16:08,520 --> 00:16:12,000 closer to us. It's, like, 45 minutes away from us, and I had never been 275 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:15,640 there. And so I went on the website, and they had the desks, and so 276 00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:19,400 I was like, okay. And so, thankfully, I 277 00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:22,720 have a ride or die husband who is literally down to ride 278 00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:26,320 wherever, because I randomly that 279 00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:29,900 Saturday was like, do you want to drive me over to Altamont and 280 00:16:29,980 --> 00:16:33,700 I can look at this desk? And he was like, all right, whatever. Let's 281 00:16:33,700 --> 00:16:37,340 go. He'll go anywhere. He doesn't care. And so we 282 00:16:37,740 --> 00:16:40,980 drive over there. We took his mom with us because she was also looking for 283 00:16:40,980 --> 00:16:44,220 a table. And we walk into this showroom 284 00:16:44,780 --> 00:16:48,300 that, I swear to God, was filled with the 285 00:16:48,300 --> 00:16:52,020 furniture from the model home that 286 00:16:52,020 --> 00:16:55,700 we bought of our home. Like, it was the exact same stuff. And Again, this 287 00:16:55,700 --> 00:16:59,060 was 10 years ago. The reason our house is so well 288 00:16:59,060 --> 00:17:02,860 decorated now is because we took pictures of 289 00:17:02,860 --> 00:17:06,700 every corner of the model and bought every scrap of 290 00:17:06,700 --> 00:17:10,260 furniture we could find. I, to this day, have that 291 00:17:10,340 --> 00:17:14,140 model home imprinted in my memory. This very nice man walks up to me, and 292 00:17:14,140 --> 00:17:17,420 he says, I'm Manny. I can help you with anything you need today. And I 293 00:17:17,420 --> 00:17:20,900 am like, I hate being approached by salespeople when I walk into places. So I 294 00:17:20,900 --> 00:17:24,590 was like, thanks, Manny. I'm good. I'm just gonna go wander. And of course, like, 295 00:17:24,830 --> 00:17:28,430 every time you turn around a little bit, he's like, behind you, like a 296 00:17:29,230 --> 00:17:32,430 ghost you can't get rid of. And so I would go to look at a 297 00:17:32,430 --> 00:17:35,230 bedroom set and then look in the mirror on the dresser, and in the back 298 00:17:35,230 --> 00:17:38,270 corner of the mirror, you would see, like, Manny hanging out in the corner. I 299 00:17:38,270 --> 00:17:42,070 was like, okay, I've got a tail. It's fine. He was unobtrusive. 300 00:17:42,070 --> 00:17:44,950 He didn't ask anything. He stayed out of my way. But he was definitely following 301 00:17:44,950 --> 00:17:47,590 me around the store. Like, do you have a question? Can I answer your own 302 00:17:47,590 --> 00:17:51,080 question? So. So finally, I find the section with the desks, which is, of course, 303 00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:55,000 the last section. Like, the whole. I've been through the whole store. The 304 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:57,880 last corner that I get to, of course, I'm gonna stop in the last place 305 00:17:57,880 --> 00:18:00,680 that had the stuff I'm looking for. But this was the last possible place in 306 00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:04,040 the store it could be in. It's the exact opposite of where it started. 307 00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:07,960 And I see the desk, and I was like, oh, my God, I love it. 308 00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:11,800 And it was the one I had never seen before. It was. I just. I 309 00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:15,490 looked at it. It was huge. I like a big desk. It had 310 00:18:15,490 --> 00:18:19,290 the grommets. It just had all the things I wanted in it. And 311 00:18:19,290 --> 00:18:22,850 I was like, I also want the credenza. I feel like I am a 312 00:18:22,850 --> 00:18:26,450 fancy lady who deserves the two 313 00:18:26,450 --> 00:18:30,249 stack drawers. I should have file cabinet. I'm just. I'm a fancy lady 314 00:18:30,249 --> 00:18:34,050 of business, and I should have drawers. So 315 00:18:34,050 --> 00:18:36,290 I said to my husband, I love the desk. I love the credenza. He was 316 00:18:36,290 --> 00:18:38,290 like, all right, you want to get it? And I was like, I'm not sure. 317 00:18:38,850 --> 00:18:41,570 Seriously looks me in the face. And he's like, what the fuck? 318 00:18:43,280 --> 00:18:46,400 And I was like, we just. We have. I could make what I have work. 319 00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:48,480 I don't need to spend a bunch of money. And he looks at me, and 320 00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:52,240 he's like, by the fucking desk. 321 00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:56,560 We drove all the way out here by 322 00:18:56,880 --> 00:19:00,640 the fucking desk. I was like. 323 00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:04,920 And meanwhile, there were some things he saw that he liked. A thing that his 324 00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:08,080 mother. His mom saw that she liked. And 325 00:19:08,880 --> 00:19:12,680 we're looking at all of it like, oh, okay, we're good at this. Meanwhile, the 326 00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:16,480 whole time, my children are terrorizing the store. They're sitting on all the 327 00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:19,880 couches. They're spinning on all the chairs. They're touching all the recliner buttons. And Manny 328 00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:23,280 is here for all of it. Manny's like, did you try this one? This one 329 00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:26,320 spins really well. You should try this one. And you could tell he was trying 330 00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:29,760 to not, like, spin them too hard because he didn't want them to puke in 331 00:19:29,760 --> 00:19:33,520 the showroom, which is good thinking. Manny, you are a man with children. I can 332 00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:37,010 tell. But he was just, like, totally tolerant of the fact that my children were 333 00:19:37,010 --> 00:19:40,810 being my children and were very excited about all of the furniture or sitting 334 00:19:40,810 --> 00:19:44,530 on all of the furniture. I look at my husband. My husband is 335 00:19:44,530 --> 00:19:48,370 like, you want the desk? Buy the desk. So I was 336 00:19:48,370 --> 00:19:52,130 like, fine. So I look at Manny and I say, I'll take 337 00:19:52,130 --> 00:19:55,890 it. And he goes, you want to buy it? And I 338 00:19:55,890 --> 00:19:59,490 said, yeah. And I said, I also. And he goes, okay, okay. And he 339 00:19:59,490 --> 00:20:03,140 gets kind of very fleeting look on his face. But then it went 340 00:20:03,140 --> 00:20:06,780 away. And then I said, but I also want the credenza to 341 00:20:06,780 --> 00:20:10,620 you. And he goes, oh, Bo. And I said, yeah. And 342 00:20:10,620 --> 00:20:14,300 again, very fleeting look. And then it's gone. And he said, okay, let's go back 343 00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:17,220 to where we put in the order. I can walk you through all that. And 344 00:20:17,220 --> 00:20:20,740 so I walk behind him, and I just want to point out that I am 345 00:20:20,740 --> 00:20:24,340 an extremely perceptive person. I have excellent 346 00:20:24,340 --> 00:20:27,570 perception of the people around me. And I 347 00:20:27,570 --> 00:20:31,250 definitely noticed, and definitely didn't only realize 348 00:20:31,250 --> 00:20:34,850 later that as he was walking back with me 349 00:20:34,850 --> 00:20:38,290 to the place where you put in the order, that 350 00:20:38,290 --> 00:20:42,130 everybody was patting him on the back and high fiving. I totally noticed 351 00:20:42,130 --> 00:20:45,930 that. I totally did not just ignore the fact that was happening 352 00:20:45,930 --> 00:20:49,610 around, except I did. I did. And then I got there and I sat 353 00:20:49,610 --> 00:20:52,530 down because they have, like, the little desk, and it's got the screen where you 354 00:20:52,530 --> 00:20:55,400 can see what they're doing. He's standing there, and I'm sitting. And so I kind 355 00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:58,200 of looked at him like, what are we doing? You gonna do it? And he, 356 00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:02,000 very sheepishly and adorably, in a way that I will 357 00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:05,800 never forget, looks at me and says, it's my first day, and I don't know 358 00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:09,160 how to process a sale yet, so my manager's gonna come do it. And I 359 00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:12,440 was like, it's your first day? And he goes, 360 00:21:12,760 --> 00:21:16,400 yeah. I was like, is this your first sale? And he 361 00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:19,920 goes, yeah. And I was like, I'm gonna buy the whole damn 362 00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:23,740 store. I went from being unwilling to spend any 363 00:21:23,740 --> 00:21:27,540 number of dollars to being like, wrap it all up. Bring it to me. 364 00:21:27,540 --> 00:21:30,580 I got credit cards. Let's go. Swipe, swipe. 365 00:21:31,300 --> 00:21:35,060 Because I was gonna buy this desk online. They had it online. 366 00:21:35,140 --> 00:21:38,340 I could have it delivered the same way. But if you buy it online, nobody 367 00:21:38,340 --> 00:21:41,980 gets a commission on. Just goes to benefit the store. It doesn't go to 368 00:21:41,980 --> 00:21:45,740 benefit anybody else. And so I would have gotten the same desk. 369 00:21:45,740 --> 00:21:48,210 It would have been delivered to my house. I. I probably would have bought the 370 00:21:48,210 --> 00:21:51,730 same thing. But for some reason, that day, after 10 years. 371 00:21:52,370 --> 00:21:56,170 10 years of looking at this desk, that day we decided to 372 00:21:56,170 --> 00:21:59,410 go get it. That day, my husband decided to put his foot down and say, 373 00:21:59,410 --> 00:22:03,010 stop wasting my fucking time and buy a desk. Which is fair. 374 00:22:03,650 --> 00:22:07,490 And that day happened to be Manny's very first day, 375 00:22:08,370 --> 00:22:11,730 where he got his very first sale and got 376 00:22:12,210 --> 00:22:15,690 to take home some money. Maybe not exactly that day. I would imagine that comes 377 00:22:15,690 --> 00:22:19,340 on a paycheck later, but still for a job that, like, maybe he 378 00:22:19,340 --> 00:22:23,020 wasn't sure he was any good at and he was good at it, and he 379 00:22:23,020 --> 00:22:26,380 didn't bother me. He was a little 380 00:22:26,380 --> 00:22:30,100 unobtrusive lurker rather than being 381 00:22:30,100 --> 00:22:33,060 all up in my business. And for that reason, we buy furniture. 382 00:22:34,020 --> 00:22:37,660 So anyway, we have since gone back, and they had really good floor 383 00:22:37,660 --> 00:22:40,260 models on sale. And we almost sold this house. 384 00:22:41,300 --> 00:22:44,440 Gosh, I think it was three years ago now. It was when the market was 385 00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:48,080 super crazy and when you could sell a house in a day. 386 00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:52,120 And we just decided again. It took me 10 years 387 00:22:52,120 --> 00:22:55,920 to buy a desk. 10 years. It took me 5 years to buy the nightstands 388 00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:59,280 that are in my bedroom right now. We had a mattress on a floor 389 00:22:59,760 --> 00:23:03,360 for the first four years we lived here, because picking 390 00:23:03,360 --> 00:23:06,960 those things was too hard. But on Easter 391 00:23:07,120 --> 00:23:10,940 Sunday three years ago, my husband looked at me and was like, do you 392 00:23:10,940 --> 00:23:14,460 want to sell this house? And I was like, sure. And that was the extent 393 00:23:14,460 --> 00:23:17,700 of the conversation that we had. And we were under contract. Two weeks later, 394 00:23:18,340 --> 00:23:22,060 there was no further conversation about it. So the things that we get stuck on 395 00:23:22,060 --> 00:23:24,580 and the things that we are just, like, all in for, 396 00:23:25,620 --> 00:23:29,300 very disparate experiences. But the sale 397 00:23:29,300 --> 00:23:32,700 fell through on. I think it was, like, four days before 398 00:23:32,700 --> 00:23:36,100 closing. We didn't end up closing, but in the process, we had packed up all 399 00:23:36,100 --> 00:23:38,700 of our stuff. We had sold a bunch of our furniture. We had given away 400 00:23:38,700 --> 00:23:42,350 stuff that needed to be given away. And we still, three years later, 401 00:23:42,670 --> 00:23:46,390 shockingly, are trying to replace some of it. And so while we were there, 402 00:23:46,390 --> 00:23:49,190 they had a bunch of floor models. And I looked at Manny, and I was 403 00:23:49,190 --> 00:23:52,430 like, do you get commission on floor models? And he goes, 404 00:23:53,070 --> 00:23:56,910 yeah. And I was like, bet. And we just walked around, and we're like, we'll 405 00:23:56,910 --> 00:23:59,470 take that table. We'll take that table. We'll take that table. So we have a 406 00:23:59,470 --> 00:24:02,230 dining room table again, which we have not had a dining room table for three 407 00:24:02,230 --> 00:24:05,990 years. And it was super cheap. Not super cheap, but it was inexpensive, 408 00:24:05,990 --> 00:24:09,690 and it looks fancy. It's not like cheap furniture. And 409 00:24:10,650 --> 00:24:14,210 there were these end tables that they had at the 410 00:24:14,210 --> 00:24:18,010 model home that we literally bought and then 411 00:24:18,010 --> 00:24:21,770 built a replica of when we were building our house. And we 412 00:24:21,770 --> 00:24:25,490 were never able to find them, which wasn't a huge catastrophe for me, 413 00:24:25,490 --> 00:24:29,210 because they're glass, and I don't like glass because it's hard to keep clean. But 414 00:24:29,210 --> 00:24:32,290 my husband really liked them. He really wanted them. And no matter where we looked, 415 00:24:32,290 --> 00:24:35,770 we couldn't find them. They had them on sale there, and they were $95. 416 00:24:36,830 --> 00:24:40,590 And when we looked 10 years ago, the closest I think we could find 417 00:24:40,590 --> 00:24:44,230 were like $1,000 a piece. And I was like, I'm not spending $1,000 a piece 418 00:24:44,230 --> 00:24:47,030 for a table that we're not going to use. That's not going to happen. But 419 00:24:47,030 --> 00:24:50,790 $95, I can swing. So we now have the end tables that he 420 00:24:50,790 --> 00:24:54,590 wasn't able to find for 10 years. And I have the desk 421 00:24:54,590 --> 00:24:58,350 that I've been looking at for 10 years. And we have a dining room 422 00:24:58,350 --> 00:25:02,110 table that we got very inexpensively because it was 423 00:25:02,110 --> 00:25:05,850 the floor model that we didn't know we needed. 424 00:25:05,850 --> 00:25:08,010 We did know we needed. Cause we didn't have a dining room table, but we 425 00:25:08,010 --> 00:25:11,050 didn't know we were shopping for. And Manny got a cut of all of it 426 00:25:11,130 --> 00:25:14,650 on his first day. Look at that. 427 00:25:15,130 --> 00:25:18,889 Very fancy. So anyway, sometimes you wake up in the 428 00:25:18,889 --> 00:25:22,330 morning and decide that today's the day. Or your husband decides for you 429 00:25:22,970 --> 00:25:26,650 that today's the day, that you're gonna buy this thing that you've been 430 00:25:26,650 --> 00:25:29,810 looking at for a decade. And as a result, you get to make somebody else's 431 00:25:29,810 --> 00:25:33,620 day. And then you don't feel guilty about it, because I might have spent 432 00:25:33,620 --> 00:25:36,860 money on myself, which I don't like doing. But in the process, 433 00:25:37,580 --> 00:25:40,940 that guy got to prove that he's good at his new job. And I'm down 434 00:25:40,940 --> 00:25:44,700 with that. And now we'll go to Alison, 435 00:25:44,860 --> 00:25:48,660 who has this week's small talk. We have a small talk 436 00:25:48,660 --> 00:25:52,500 question from Kevin in Rhode Island. My high school reunion 437 00:25:52,500 --> 00:25:56,020 is coming up, and I'm already in a spiral about it. Not because 438 00:25:56,020 --> 00:25:59,740 anything is wrong with my life. By most accounts, it's genuinely fine. 439 00:26:00,510 --> 00:26:04,310 Good job, Nice apartment, people. I love. When I scroll through what everyone else 440 00:26:04,310 --> 00:26:07,950 is posting. It all looks so assembled, 441 00:26:07,950 --> 00:26:11,670 purposeful, like everyone else received a manual. I know 442 00:26:11,670 --> 00:26:15,470 social media is a highlight reel. I know the manual doesn't exist, 443 00:26:15,950 --> 00:26:19,630 but the reunion is in person, which means I'll have to answer. So what are 444 00:26:19,630 --> 00:26:23,310 you up to? About 40 times. And somehow not feel 445 00:26:23,310 --> 00:26:26,980 like the only one still figuring it out. How did you hold 446 00:26:26,980 --> 00:26:30,020 your own without either performing contentment or 447 00:26:30,500 --> 00:26:34,260 catastrophizing? Catastrophizing. That one. So 448 00:26:34,260 --> 00:26:37,940 there are a couple of questions, and there's a question that you didn't 449 00:26:37,940 --> 00:26:41,300 actually ask. That is the question I want to address first. 450 00:26:41,540 --> 00:26:45,140 The response that you didn't ask for is that it is 451 00:26:45,140 --> 00:26:48,860 possible that everybody in your graduating 452 00:26:48,860 --> 00:26:52,230 class appears to have their shit together. I can 453 00:26:52,630 --> 00:26:56,150 guarantee you without hesitation 454 00:26:56,710 --> 00:27:00,470 that not a single one of them does. I know so 455 00:27:00,630 --> 00:27:04,270 many highly successful people, incredibly 456 00:27:04,270 --> 00:27:07,670 successful people, people with great jobs who are Kind, 457 00:27:07,910 --> 00:27:11,750 compassionate, great families doing their best every 458 00:27:11,750 --> 00:27:15,110 day, doing really good work every day, who are hot 459 00:27:15,430 --> 00:27:18,960 messes behind the scenes. And it's 460 00:27:18,960 --> 00:27:22,080 everybody. There is nobody who has it figured out. 461 00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:25,840 Nobody has it figured out. There's nothing to figure out. 462 00:27:25,840 --> 00:27:29,520 There's no roadmap, there's no guidebook, there's no way 463 00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:33,119 you're supposed to be doing this stuff. Nobody gives you a manual. 464 00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:36,600 You remember like years and years and years ago when we used to buy big 465 00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:40,320 screen TVs, they would come with the 500 page manual 466 00:27:41,360 --> 00:27:45,170 how to operate the television. And then if you go have a kid, they're like, 467 00:27:45,170 --> 00:27:49,010 here. They give you nothing. You're lucky if you get a pat 468 00:27:49,010 --> 00:27:52,770 on the back and a pack of diapers. Nobody 469 00:27:52,770 --> 00:27:56,250 gives you a manual on how to do 470 00:27:56,250 --> 00:27:59,370 adult life, right? There's no one 471 00:28:00,010 --> 00:28:03,570 set of anything that means you're successful. Are you 472 00:28:03,570 --> 00:28:06,810 happy? Are you making progress in 473 00:28:06,890 --> 00:28:10,250 anything? It could be a freaking video game. Are you making 474 00:28:10,330 --> 00:28:14,030 progress in a video game? Are you learning things that you 475 00:28:14,030 --> 00:28:17,710 enjoy learning? Are you living a life that 476 00:28:17,710 --> 00:28:21,310 you like to live? And if not, are you working toward the better 477 00:28:21,310 --> 00:28:24,630 version of that life in any way whatsoever? 478 00:28:25,190 --> 00:28:28,950 Cool. You're doing life and you're doing life 479 00:28:28,950 --> 00:28:32,750 right. Social media is lies. And I say 480 00:28:32,750 --> 00:28:35,910 this as a person who posts my whole life on social media 481 00:28:36,310 --> 00:28:40,100 and everything I say is true. And it's 482 00:28:40,100 --> 00:28:43,820 still maybe 20% of the story. On a day that I 483 00:28:43,820 --> 00:28:47,620 am very open and public about things, maybe 20% of the story. 484 00:28:48,420 --> 00:28:51,900 You cannot judge your success by 485 00:28:51,900 --> 00:28:55,379 anybody else's. And anybody who 486 00:28:56,100 --> 00:28:59,700 wants to judge yours by theirs 487 00:29:00,100 --> 00:29:03,620 can get bent and get 488 00:29:03,620 --> 00:29:07,360 bent hard. I've never had a high school reunion. I don't think we actually have 489 00:29:07,360 --> 00:29:10,520 high school reunions. But if you asked me if I wanted to go to my 490 00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:13,800 high school reunion, I would be like, nah, bro, I'm good. I don't have any 491 00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:17,640 desire to see people that I haven't seen for 20 years. And I say that 492 00:29:17,640 --> 00:29:21,440 as the person who's gonna be a more success, not a more successful, but a 493 00:29:21,440 --> 00:29:24,920 successful person in that room. I am not concerned about walking into that room to 494 00:29:24,920 --> 00:29:28,440 talk about my job, to talk about my family. There's nothing 495 00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:31,400 in my life that I'm not happy to share with all those people, except for 496 00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:34,040 the fact that I don't wanna share shit with all those people. That was 20 497 00:29:34,040 --> 00:29:37,670 years ago. If I wanted to talk to them, I would talk to 498 00:29:37,670 --> 00:29:41,430 them. I don't want to. So 499 00:29:42,230 --> 00:29:46,070 if you want to go to your high school reunion, great, you can go get 500 00:29:46,070 --> 00:29:49,710 Some probably bad cater waiter 501 00:29:49,710 --> 00:29:53,350 food and maybe see your old high 502 00:29:53,350 --> 00:29:56,950 school gym or a ballroom at some 503 00:29:56,950 --> 00:30:00,800 random Ramada near where your high school was. I don't know. I. I 504 00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:04,440 don't know how those things work. I've never been to one. The only high school 505 00:30:04,440 --> 00:30:08,240 reunion I've been to was Romy and Michelle's. That's it. There is nothing you 506 00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:12,000 have to perform at that place to be accepted by 507 00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:15,600 people whose opinion has never mattered but certainly hasn't mattered 508 00:30:15,600 --> 00:30:19,200 in a number of years so large that you would 509 00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:22,160 celebrate it. They don't have reunions for your 510 00:30:22,720 --> 00:30:26,080 third year out of high school. You have to get to like 10 511 00:30:26,510 --> 00:30:30,230 and 20. And guess what? Things that happened 20 years ago aren't 512 00:30:30,230 --> 00:30:33,790 relevant to your life anymore. You're doing a new thing 513 00:30:33,790 --> 00:30:37,550 now. My. My suggestion is don't go. Which might not be the right 514 00:30:37,550 --> 00:30:41,150 suggestion. That might absolutely 100% be the wrong suggestion as 515 00:30:41,150 --> 00:30:44,910 100% me projecting on you. So don't necessarily take that as 516 00:30:45,310 --> 00:30:48,990 the solution or the answer. But beyond 517 00:30:48,990 --> 00:30:52,440 that, there is nothing that you have to prove to 518 00:30:52,440 --> 00:30:56,160 anybody in that room. There is no finish line. You are 519 00:30:56,160 --> 00:30:59,960 not in a race that you're losing and nobody is in a race that they're 520 00:30:59,960 --> 00:31:03,720 winning. If you're worried about showing off to a bunch of people you don't 521 00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:07,400 care about anymore, you don't even need to go. But if 522 00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:10,840 you do, or if you want to, just remember 523 00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:15,120 that you created the glue on post. Its thanks for being here 524 00:31:15,120 --> 00:31:16,600 guys. Have a good day. Love you. Mean it. 525 00:31:20,480 --> 00:31:24,160 I got to make two Romy and Michelle's jokes there. Very impressed with myself.