1 00:00:00,050 --> 00:00:03,410 it is truly pointless, everyone else has burnt out, you are not special. 2 00:00:04,219 --> 00:00:07,369 My manager told me we only thought we were too busy. 3 00:00:07,669 --> 00:00:10,519 If I go off sick, my colleagues will have to work double. 4 00:00:10,801 --> 00:00:14,941 Now, if any of that sounds familiar, yep, that's direct quotes from the 5 00:00:14,941 --> 00:00:16,591 survey that we sent out recently. 6 00:00:16,591 --> 00:00:20,311 Finding out why doctors and healthcare professionals don't seek 7 00:00:20,311 --> 00:00:22,141 help when they're nearing burnout. 8 00:00:22,441 --> 00:00:26,401 Now in the summer last year, I jumped out of bed and immediately fell over. 9 00:00:26,911 --> 00:00:29,821 I couldn't weight bear on either of my ankles. 10 00:00:30,211 --> 00:00:32,821 The day before I'd been doing a charity walk. 11 00:00:33,031 --> 00:00:38,311 It was only 14 miles, but it was in Norfolk, and some of that walk included 12 00:00:38,311 --> 00:00:40,681 a three mile stretch on a shingle beach. 13 00:00:41,191 --> 00:00:45,631 When I got home, my ankles had swollen up, and the next morning I just 14 00:00:45,631 --> 00:00:46,986 couldn't put any weight on them at all. 15 00:00:47,612 --> 00:00:49,652 Now, I've had this all my life. 16 00:00:49,802 --> 00:00:51,842 My mum has the same thing with her ankles. 17 00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:55,052 For some reason, when I'm on my feet all day, when I've walked up 18 00:00:55,052 --> 00:00:58,232 or down a mountain, or particularly on uneven ground, I will be 19 00:00:58,232 --> 00:01:00,122 hobbling for the next few days. 20 00:01:00,422 --> 00:01:01,832 I've seen physios about it. 21 00:01:02,102 --> 00:01:05,132 I've seen all sorts of different people about it. 22 00:01:05,402 --> 00:01:07,232 No one's had any answers for me. 23 00:01:07,532 --> 00:01:10,262 But after I'd fallen over, I thought, well, this is really serious. 24 00:01:10,262 --> 00:01:12,902 And I was seeing a physio at the time for my back and I went to him and I 25 00:01:12,902 --> 00:01:15,722 said, look at these photos of my ankles. 26 00:01:15,722 --> 00:01:19,652 They're actually more swollen than when I broke them ice skating the other year. 27 00:01:20,065 --> 00:01:23,005 He took one look and said, right, I'm sending you to a rheumatologist. 28 00:01:23,385 --> 00:01:28,755 So off I trot to see a sports medicine specialist who you know, examined me. 29 00:01:28,965 --> 00:01:31,989 I showed him the photos and he said to me, well, you know what? 30 00:01:31,989 --> 00:01:34,989 At your age it's probably because you're just not in shape. 31 00:01:35,305 --> 00:01:36,235 It was my fault. 32 00:01:36,325 --> 00:01:37,765 I, I wasn't in shape. 33 00:01:37,765 --> 00:01:42,175 I hadn't looked after my body enough and that was the reason for it. 34 00:01:42,175 --> 00:01:45,145 And that's pretty much what I've been told the whole of my life. 35 00:01:45,175 --> 00:01:48,715 However, I knew that I'd been doing a lot of exercise. 36 00:01:48,715 --> 00:01:50,035 I'd been lifting some weights. 37 00:01:50,335 --> 00:01:52,255 Uh, I regularly cycled everywhere. 38 00:01:52,255 --> 00:01:54,565 I played two or three hours of tennis a week. 39 00:01:54,775 --> 00:01:56,335 Was it really 'cause I wasn't in shape? 40 00:01:56,335 --> 00:01:57,175 But you know what? 41 00:01:57,805 --> 00:02:02,966 I believed him Because I couldn't see any other explanation and I couldn't see 42 00:02:02,966 --> 00:02:04,616 what on earth could be done about this. 43 00:02:04,616 --> 00:02:07,846 Nobody seemed to have any answers for me that actually helped. 44 00:02:08,283 --> 00:02:10,743 At the end of the consultation, he said, well, you know what? 45 00:02:10,863 --> 00:02:14,073 In order to be certain, we'll just send you for an MRI of your ankles. 46 00:02:14,313 --> 00:02:16,983 And I thought, well, okay, fine, i'll go for my MRI. 47 00:02:16,983 --> 00:02:20,103 A few months later went for my MR. I thought nothing more of 48 00:02:20,103 --> 00:02:23,073 it until I got a note from the clinic saying can you come back? 49 00:02:23,073 --> 00:02:24,573 We need to talk about your MRI. 50 00:02:24,976 --> 00:02:29,266 I went back to clinic and I was greeted by, Well, this is interesting. 51 00:02:29,656 --> 00:02:33,646 They have found that I have a congenital problem in both of my ankles where two 52 00:02:33,646 --> 00:02:37,006 of my bones are partially fused, which means I don't have enough movement. 53 00:02:37,156 --> 00:02:40,396 There was significant bony edema on one side, and that was 54 00:02:40,396 --> 00:02:41,686 the cause of all the trouble. 55 00:02:41,939 --> 00:02:46,253 But every time I sought help, I was told, Hmm, probably not much we can do, 56 00:02:46,373 --> 00:02:51,329 or it's probably your fault, or been given very, very wishy-washy advice, 57 00:02:51,329 --> 00:02:54,239 and I had just decided it was pointless. 58 00:02:54,869 --> 00:03:00,419 Now knowing what's wrong, I can make adjustments to the way that I exercise. 59 00:03:00,809 --> 00:03:02,549 I can try and help things. 60 00:03:02,549 --> 00:03:05,519 I can take some medication that will reduce the swelling 61 00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:06,869 when I know it's gonna happen. 62 00:03:07,499 --> 00:03:08,789 There are things I can do. 63 00:03:09,089 --> 00:03:12,108 I can't necessarily cure it, but I have a plan. 64 00:03:12,108 --> 00:03:13,424 I'm not stuck anymore. 65 00:03:13,776 --> 00:03:18,276 And the problem is, this is what I see us doing with our own stress, our own 66 00:03:18,276 --> 00:03:20,276 wellbeing, our own levels of burnout. 67 00:03:20,502 --> 00:03:25,572 We think we already know A, what's wrong, and B, what everyone 68 00:03:25,572 --> 00:03:27,342 else is gonna advise us to do. 69 00:03:27,779 --> 00:03:32,699 And often through past experience, we know that there's not a lot 70 00:03:32,699 --> 00:03:34,529 that anybody can do about it. 71 00:03:34,829 --> 00:03:37,409 Or at least we assume that, and then we think that asking 72 00:03:37,409 --> 00:03:39,599 for help is totally pointless. 73 00:03:39,896 --> 00:03:44,745 You see, people say that doctors don't ask for help because they're too proud. 74 00:03:44,745 --> 00:03:47,885 They don't like admitting they're weak or they can't cope. 75 00:03:48,008 --> 00:03:50,048 And yes, there is an element to that. 76 00:03:50,198 --> 00:03:53,648 These stories we've been brainwashed into thinking that we've always got to 77 00:03:53,648 --> 00:03:57,698 be the strong one, that we're got this particular superhero quality which means 78 00:03:57,698 --> 00:03:59,738 we can keep going longer than most people. 79 00:04:00,338 --> 00:04:03,428 But actually, that's not what I've experienced In talking to many, 80 00:04:03,428 --> 00:04:08,108 many people, and the survey that we sent out told a sharper truth. 81 00:04:08,401 --> 00:04:12,181 People were saying it would've felt pointless as the job would've still 82 00:04:12,181 --> 00:04:13,908 been the same when I returned. 83 00:04:14,085 --> 00:04:17,025 Someone even said, I called the staff psychology service. 84 00:04:17,355 --> 00:04:19,965 The message was two years out of date, and they said they wouldn't 85 00:04:19,965 --> 00:04:22,125 be in touch, so why bother? 86 00:04:22,785 --> 00:04:25,845 So we either know it's gonna be pointless or we've tried 87 00:04:25,845 --> 00:04:27,680 before and it was pointless. 88 00:04:27,823 --> 00:04:32,353 That's futility, when the doors you try when they're not opening, you 89 00:04:32,353 --> 00:04:33,943 eventually stop knocking on them. 90 00:04:34,243 --> 00:04:35,383 And then it gets worse. 91 00:04:35,383 --> 00:04:39,643 When we do ask for help, it's often minimized or we are gaslit 92 00:04:39,733 --> 00:04:41,683 by ourselves or by others. 93 00:04:41,983 --> 00:04:46,123 People told us in the survey, my manager told me we only thought we were too busy, 94 00:04:46,373 --> 00:04:48,893 and I was told the burnout didn't exist. 95 00:04:49,043 --> 00:04:50,243 Unbelievable right? 96 00:04:50,543 --> 00:04:55,583 And sometimes the external gaslighting that we have becomes internal gaslighting. 97 00:04:55,583 --> 00:04:58,793 We tell ourselves, well, everyone else is coping, so why can't I? 98 00:04:59,093 --> 00:05:00,983 And then we tell ourselves, well, you can't stop. 99 00:05:00,983 --> 00:05:03,713 'cause if you stop, who is going to do the work? 100 00:05:05,922 --> 00:05:10,602 This is a You Are Not a Frog quick dip, a tiny taster of the kinds of things we 101 00:05:10,602 --> 00:05:13,272 talk about on our full podcast episodes. 102 00:05:13,572 --> 00:05:16,902 I've chosen today's topic to give you a helpful boost in the time it 103 00:05:16,902 --> 00:05:20,292 takes to have a cup of tea so you can return to whatever else you're 104 00:05:20,292 --> 00:05:22,662 up to feeling energized and inspired. 105 00:05:23,232 --> 00:05:27,042 For more tools, tips, and insights to help you thrive at work, don't 106 00:05:27,042 --> 00:05:31,002 forget to subscribe to You Are Not a Frog wherever you get your podcasts. 107 00:05:32,484 --> 00:05:34,434 So let's just do a quick reality check. 108 00:05:34,464 --> 00:05:36,774 If you are in a place where you can do this, I want you to stop. 109 00:05:37,102 --> 00:05:39,952 I want you to put your hand over your heart to make you feel safe. 110 00:05:40,042 --> 00:05:42,172 If you're driving, obviously don't do that. 111 00:05:42,632 --> 00:05:44,822 Uh, but just check in with these questions. 112 00:05:45,602 --> 00:05:49,562 My workload today is, how bad is it? 113 00:05:49,862 --> 00:05:50,642 What's it like? 114 00:05:51,602 --> 00:05:54,632 My control over it is what? 115 00:05:54,662 --> 00:05:55,922 How much control do you have? 116 00:05:57,032 --> 00:06:00,422 And right now my body feels how? 117 00:06:01,112 --> 00:06:02,702 What do you feel like in your body? 118 00:06:03,539 --> 00:06:06,809 Now you can say to yourself, given those facts, it makes 119 00:06:06,809 --> 00:06:08,969 total sense that I feel this way. 120 00:06:09,062 --> 00:06:14,502 Because the first step in doing anything is facing reality and naming it. 121 00:06:14,502 --> 00:06:19,092 Naming it is incredibly helpful and it's one way that we can lower the 122 00:06:19,092 --> 00:06:20,742 temperature in the pan that we're in. 123 00:06:21,129 --> 00:06:25,939 Because here's the trap that we all face, and I think you know it by now. 124 00:06:25,969 --> 00:06:28,579 It's literally the name of this podcast. 125 00:06:28,892 --> 00:06:30,692 We are like that boiling frog in a pan. 126 00:06:30,719 --> 00:06:34,799 The workload builds up slowly and you don't notice it, the extra 127 00:06:34,799 --> 00:06:36,389 long day is just becoming the norm. 128 00:06:36,809 --> 00:06:38,129 But here's the extra kicker. 129 00:06:38,429 --> 00:06:42,179 When you've got the other frogs in the pan with you and everybody's 130 00:06:42,179 --> 00:06:45,089 overheating, you look around and you just think, oh gosh, well, it's 131 00:06:45,089 --> 00:06:46,889 not just me, so this must be normal. 132 00:06:47,099 --> 00:06:48,089 Oh, or is it normal? 133 00:06:48,089 --> 00:06:49,199 Why aren't they jumping out? 134 00:06:49,199 --> 00:06:50,429 Why aren't they turning down the heat? 135 00:06:50,429 --> 00:06:52,349 And what's wrong with me? 136 00:06:52,979 --> 00:06:55,979 And we acclimatized with this rising temperature until we have 137 00:06:55,979 --> 00:06:58,439 no idea what's normal anymore. 138 00:06:58,619 --> 00:07:02,939 We've got no idea what's safe or manageable for us anymore. 139 00:07:03,569 --> 00:07:05,909 And this is exactly what people told us in the survey. 140 00:07:06,269 --> 00:07:07,649 Everybody's in the same position. 141 00:07:07,649 --> 00:07:12,089 Patients still need care, or it is expected to keep going, especially. 142 00:07:12,222 --> 00:07:13,602 In senior roles. 143 00:07:13,872 --> 00:07:20,232 So then we've got this frog soup of futility, of gaslighting, and then 144 00:07:20,232 --> 00:07:24,592 of normalization, and as a result, everyone keeps quiet, there is 145 00:07:24,592 --> 00:07:28,492 silence, and all we end up doing, it's just going, yeah, everyone's 146 00:07:28,492 --> 00:07:29,842 burning out, but it's pointless. 147 00:07:30,022 --> 00:07:30,622 What's the point? 148 00:07:30,622 --> 00:07:33,442 I've tried, I've said this and we've had comments on Facebook saying, 149 00:07:33,442 --> 00:07:35,412 yeah, I reported it, nothing was done. 150 00:07:35,412 --> 00:07:37,462 Yeah, no wonder you are feeling like this. 151 00:07:38,122 --> 00:07:40,762 No wonder we feel it's pointless and futile. 152 00:07:41,195 --> 00:07:47,705 And what's even worse is that asking for help actually makes you feel worse. 153 00:07:48,165 --> 00:07:52,005 So a lot of you told us in the survey that you didn't seek help 'cause you 154 00:07:52,005 --> 00:07:53,625 knew you wouldn't be listened to. 155 00:07:54,045 --> 00:07:56,025 You feared being seen as a failure. 156 00:07:56,343 --> 00:07:59,163 and someone was previously told, well, everybody's struggling. 157 00:07:59,463 --> 00:08:01,803 And it was implied that they were the problem. 158 00:08:02,103 --> 00:08:07,743 So when help is minimized or reframed as your personal flaw, you don't just feel 159 00:08:07,743 --> 00:08:13,023 tired, you start to doubt your reality, and that is exactly what gaslighting is, 160 00:08:13,323 --> 00:08:16,653 whether it's a system doing it, whether it's a manager or a person doing it, or 161 00:08:16,653 --> 00:08:20,073 whether it's you doing it to yourself 'cause of what you can see around you. 162 00:08:20,383 --> 00:08:21,943 Uh, I've experienced this myself. 163 00:08:21,943 --> 00:08:23,413 When I was really struggling as a GP. 164 00:08:23,413 --> 00:08:28,483 I went to a family member who was also a GP, and I was told Rachel, it's such a 165 00:08:28,483 --> 00:08:33,523 privilege to be a GP, you know, implying that I shouldn't be moaning because I 166 00:08:33,523 --> 00:08:37,813 was in a very, very privileged position and I was just being really unreasonable. 167 00:08:38,213 --> 00:08:42,317 It felt completely undermining and didn't acknowledge the issues I was having. 168 00:08:42,347 --> 00:08:46,607 'Cause yes, it is a privilege and I was really struggling. 169 00:08:46,907 --> 00:08:50,897 The two do not cancel each other out just as, just 'cause 170 00:08:50,897 --> 00:08:51,947 everyone else is struggling. 171 00:08:52,097 --> 00:08:53,597 It doesn't mean that you are not struggling. 172 00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:55,217 That doesn't cancel out either. 173 00:08:55,217 --> 00:08:57,072 Two wrongs do not make it right. 174 00:08:57,785 --> 00:09:02,015 And then beyond futility and gaslighting, our survey highlighted even more 175 00:09:02,015 --> 00:09:03,785 reasons why doctors stay silent. 176 00:09:04,325 --> 00:09:07,685 This over responsibility and guilt, which we talked about all the time. 177 00:09:07,685 --> 00:09:10,415 When you're not a frog, you know this, if I go off sick, my 178 00:09:10,415 --> 00:09:11,330 colleagues will have to work double. 179 00:09:11,765 --> 00:09:15,605 And that, that's a really difficult thing to put onto people and and it 180 00:09:15,605 --> 00:09:17,525 is a reality and yes, that happens. 181 00:09:17,825 --> 00:09:19,385 We fear the consequences. 182 00:09:19,865 --> 00:09:24,065 Several people said they feared it being on their records, being brought 183 00:09:24,065 --> 00:09:28,445 up in their appraisal, affecting their reputation, being labeled a trainee in 184 00:09:28,445 --> 00:09:33,755 difficulty, or even worrying about having something like that on their record. 185 00:09:33,755 --> 00:09:35,165 For insurance reasons. 186 00:09:35,515 --> 00:09:37,405 We compare ourselves to other people. 187 00:09:37,405 --> 00:09:38,815 You know, everyone else is coping. 188 00:09:39,025 --> 00:09:40,015 What's wrong with me? 189 00:09:40,015 --> 00:09:42,235 That makes us feel immense amounts of shame. 190 00:09:42,535 --> 00:09:46,645 There's the toxic culture, you know, of bullying, patronizing responses 191 00:09:46,675 --> 00:09:50,545 with almost zero psychological safety when we do raise things. 192 00:09:51,035 --> 00:09:53,555 There's also that thing about, I've just got no time to even sit 193 00:09:53,555 --> 00:09:57,275 and think, let alone seek help, and where would I go anyway? 194 00:09:57,635 --> 00:10:00,335 People say, well, I'm too busy to stop, who do I even tell? 195 00:10:00,418 --> 00:10:04,800 Somebody said, well, I'm a GP partner, so who would I even speak to? 196 00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:06,910 I'm my own employer essentially. 197 00:10:07,559 --> 00:10:09,359 There's financial implications. 198 00:10:09,659 --> 00:10:12,119 You know, I might be a locum if I don't work. 199 00:10:12,269 --> 00:10:13,379 I don't get paid. 200 00:10:13,706 --> 00:10:17,096 And then there's this feeling of helplessness within the system. 201 00:10:17,456 --> 00:10:22,736 There's long term vacancy freezes, rotas are all over the place. 202 00:10:22,856 --> 00:10:28,016 There's these wellbeing tick boxes that just don't help anybody at all, and it 203 00:10:28,016 --> 00:10:31,136 just makes us feel helpless and angry. 204 00:10:31,791 --> 00:10:37,191 So what happens is that it's this unspoken truth that everybody knows 205 00:10:37,461 --> 00:10:40,551 that doctors and other healthcare professionals are burning out. 206 00:10:40,551 --> 00:10:44,575 It's been proven in studies, and as I shared recently, one survey in a 207 00:10:44,575 --> 00:10:48,205 trust said that up to 50% of their doctors were working in burnout. 208 00:10:48,745 --> 00:10:53,755 But we keep silent, we don't mention it, and we keep borrowing performance 209 00:10:53,755 --> 00:10:57,595 from the rest of our lives in order to keep up our performance in work. 210 00:10:57,595 --> 00:11:00,205 But eventually our performance starts going down. 211 00:11:00,775 --> 00:11:02,005 We start making mistakes. 212 00:11:02,005 --> 00:11:03,025 We get really edgy. 213 00:11:03,445 --> 00:11:04,135 We get numb. 214 00:11:04,690 --> 00:11:08,710 We can't recover as well on holidays or or rest times. 215 00:11:09,370 --> 00:11:12,460 And lots of you in the survey said, you know, I feel exhausted. 216 00:11:12,460 --> 00:11:14,170 I'm hopeless about the prospect of change. 217 00:11:14,470 --> 00:11:15,010 I resigned. 218 00:11:15,070 --> 00:11:16,030 I jumped out the pan. 219 00:11:16,510 --> 00:11:19,480 Someone else said, yeah, I'm retiring earlier than I planned. 220 00:11:20,071 --> 00:11:20,881 And you know what? 221 00:11:20,881 --> 00:11:22,891 This isn't you being weak. 222 00:11:22,921 --> 00:11:25,801 It's a really rational response to impossible conditions. 223 00:11:25,801 --> 00:11:29,581 And sometimes when people say, you know, it's okay not to be okay, sometimes I 224 00:11:29,581 --> 00:11:31,861 would say, it's not okay to be okay. 225 00:11:31,861 --> 00:11:35,731 If you are working in conditions like that and you are totally fine about it, 226 00:11:35,731 --> 00:11:38,521 then what's going on with you, right? 227 00:11:38,791 --> 00:11:41,821 Is there something deeper that has just been silenced 228 00:11:41,821 --> 00:11:43,201 that's not able to speak out? 229 00:11:43,908 --> 00:11:48,078 And then because we feel so helpless, we just become very angry about other 230 00:11:48,078 --> 00:11:52,278 areas, about the political situation or, or management, you know, things 231 00:11:52,278 --> 00:11:54,378 that are totally outside of our control. 232 00:11:54,378 --> 00:11:56,268 'Cause that's sort of safe to get angry about. 233 00:11:56,568 --> 00:12:00,858 So, so how do we break this sort of futility of asking 234 00:12:00,858 --> 00:12:02,088 for help and seeking help? 235 00:12:02,088 --> 00:12:06,854 Well, it's not with platitudes like, oh, put your own oxygen mask on first, or 236 00:12:06,854 --> 00:12:08,684 these, these thought limiting cliches. 237 00:12:08,684 --> 00:12:11,534 Yeah, they're true, but they're not necessarily helpful for us, 238 00:12:11,534 --> 00:12:14,984 particularly when we've tried putting our own oxygen mask on and we've 239 00:12:14,984 --> 00:12:16,814 been told we are weak for needing to. 240 00:12:17,154 --> 00:12:21,164 No,, we need small things that we can control. 241 00:12:21,497 --> 00:12:25,877 In our Shapes toolkit, we talk about the zone of power, which for me is the 242 00:12:25,877 --> 00:12:28,607 most powerful tool I have ever used. 243 00:12:28,607 --> 00:12:31,877 It's simply working out what's in your control and what's outside your 244 00:12:31,877 --> 00:12:35,417 control, because we can't do anything that is outside our control, but we 245 00:12:35,417 --> 00:12:37,397 can do a lot that's inside our control. 246 00:12:37,697 --> 00:12:40,937 Some of it is scary and it feels like we can't do it, but it's 247 00:12:40,937 --> 00:12:42,797 the only place that we can start. 248 00:12:43,097 --> 00:12:45,737 So think of what you might be in control of. 249 00:12:46,067 --> 00:12:48,257 Here's three small suggestions. 250 00:12:48,257 --> 00:12:50,807 Maybe think about one of these that you could do this week. 251 00:12:51,467 --> 00:12:55,157 Maybe you could drop one low value task this week. 252 00:12:55,247 --> 00:12:55,847 Just one. 253 00:12:56,177 --> 00:12:58,727 One thing that's not really having much of an impact. 254 00:12:59,027 --> 00:13:02,177 Could you protect one small pocket of rest? 255 00:13:02,267 --> 00:13:07,757 Maybe take one lunch break or one evening where you don't stay late. 256 00:13:07,933 --> 00:13:12,523 And maybe you can have one honest conversation with somebody that's talking 257 00:13:12,523 --> 00:13:15,431 about workload and capacity and the risk. 258 00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:18,692 Now, of course these little acts, they're not gonna fix everything. 259 00:13:18,692 --> 00:13:22,202 They're not gonna fix the system, but they will break this feeling of 260 00:13:22,202 --> 00:13:27,392 futility, this feeling of pointlessness and helplessness, and will help you 261 00:13:27,662 --> 00:13:29,893 start to test out what could be. 262 00:13:30,202 --> 00:13:32,272 And there are other things that you could try. 263 00:13:32,782 --> 00:13:37,433 You could flag stuff up, you could ask for help even if you've done it 264 00:13:37,433 --> 00:13:41,303 before and it was useless, and here are some scripts that you could use 265 00:13:41,303 --> 00:13:44,003 which might actually be more effective. 266 00:13:44,213 --> 00:13:48,153 So if you've got a, a team lead or a manager, you could say to them, well, 267 00:13:48,153 --> 00:13:50,433 I'm flagging a capacity risk issue. 268 00:13:50,493 --> 00:13:52,053 It's not a motivation issue. 269 00:13:52,413 --> 00:13:54,393 To stay clinically safe, I propose. 270 00:13:55,015 --> 00:13:58,555 X, Y, or Z, or you could say one subtraction or one thing that would 271 00:13:58,555 --> 00:14:00,355 protect you, or one way of supporting. 272 00:14:00,662 --> 00:14:03,422 Could we agree these and review them in 30 days? 273 00:14:03,962 --> 00:14:05,012 That might be one thing. 274 00:14:05,252 --> 00:14:10,712 And just a side note, as a sort of manager leader myself, when 275 00:14:10,922 --> 00:14:14,038 people come to me saying they're overscheduled and they're feeling 276 00:14:14,038 --> 00:14:18,808 quite stressed, I care deeply about it, but often I don't have the answers. 277 00:14:18,808 --> 00:14:22,812 And if someone actually is able to suggest something that would really help 'em, 278 00:14:22,812 --> 00:14:26,232 that's really helpful for me, 'cause I can look at it and we can talk about 279 00:14:26,232 --> 00:14:30,286 it and we can work out the thing that's gonna be best for them and best for us. 280 00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:34,216 So coming up with the solutions yourself and suggesting it is wonderful, but 281 00:14:34,216 --> 00:14:37,606 don't come up with a solution that's completely unworkable, 'cause, 'cause 282 00:14:37,606 --> 00:14:39,406 nobody's able to say yes to that. 283 00:14:40,037 --> 00:14:46,311 You could go and see your own GP or your own occupational health department, 284 00:14:46,611 --> 00:14:50,861 and here you could say to them, I'm not just seeking coping tips alone. 285 00:14:51,161 --> 00:14:54,251 I'm not just seeking the advice of take time off. 286 00:14:54,368 --> 00:14:58,442 Please help me to document the impact that this is having on me and my function. 287 00:14:58,922 --> 00:15:03,692 And agree some concrete things that we can do at work to help. 288 00:15:03,992 --> 00:15:06,362 That gives them something to start with perhaps. 289 00:15:06,769 --> 00:15:10,579 And then there are always those other sort of boundary sitting conversations 290 00:15:10,789 --> 00:15:13,219 that we talked about before. 291 00:15:13,399 --> 00:15:16,279 And I've done a podcast recently about a boundaried yes. 292 00:15:16,279 --> 00:15:17,119 So check that one out. 293 00:15:17,119 --> 00:15:21,859 It's got many, many more ways of saying like a a, a sort of Yes maybe 294 00:15:21,859 --> 00:15:24,169 sort of No, rather than a direct No. 295 00:15:24,169 --> 00:15:27,739 So you could say something like, well, I can't do this by then without 296 00:15:27,739 --> 00:15:30,319 getting rid of this other thing, and that's actually gonna affect 297 00:15:30,319 --> 00:15:32,449 safety or standards or something. 298 00:15:32,689 --> 00:15:37,795 So I could do this other thing or that thing, or we can drop that one. 299 00:15:38,125 --> 00:15:39,145 What do you prefer? 300 00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:40,855 Giving them a choice, but just flagging 'em. 301 00:15:40,915 --> 00:15:42,086 I can't do all of it. 302 00:15:42,295 --> 00:15:43,633 What's the most important? 303 00:15:44,164 --> 00:15:48,199 And here's something that will probably help a lot, and that is planning a review 304 00:15:48,259 --> 00:15:53,289 date, putting it in your diary, and that turns this from a suggestion into a plan. 305 00:15:53,379 --> 00:15:55,419 Let's try something, let's review it. 306 00:15:55,479 --> 00:15:57,039 Let's see what helped. 307 00:15:57,339 --> 00:16:02,019 And it is really, really important if you are in burnout or you are worried in 308 00:16:02,019 --> 00:16:06,879 any way to see a qualified professional, do not assume that you know it all. 309 00:16:06,999 --> 00:16:10,239 Even if you are somebody, even if you are a GP that sees people who 310 00:16:10,239 --> 00:16:11,649 stress and burns out yourself. 311 00:16:11,949 --> 00:16:14,379 I assumed when I went to see the rheumatologist, there was 312 00:16:14,379 --> 00:16:15,579 nothing that they'd be able to do. 313 00:16:15,789 --> 00:16:18,969 But actually after that particular investigation, it 314 00:16:18,969 --> 00:16:20,589 flagged some stuff up for me. 315 00:16:20,939 --> 00:16:22,289 So don't assume you know. 316 00:16:22,769 --> 00:16:26,099 We have blinkers on when it comes to ourselves, how bad 317 00:16:26,099 --> 00:16:28,019 things are and our own health. 318 00:16:28,319 --> 00:16:33,599 I shared in an email and another podcast about the fact that I didn't 319 00:16:33,599 --> 00:16:40,239 realize how close to burnout I was a year or so ago when I was at my ADHD 320 00:16:40,259 --> 00:16:44,029 review and my psychiatrist started screening me for depression that 321 00:16:44,029 --> 00:16:47,599 was a real wake up call 'cause I had no idea how bad things had got. 322 00:16:48,089 --> 00:16:51,869 So please go see your own GP,, occupational health or 323 00:16:51,869 --> 00:16:53,579 practitioner health if you can. 324 00:16:53,873 --> 00:16:58,589 And if you don't have practitioner health, a really supportive manager, a good GP, 325 00:16:58,619 --> 00:17:00,719 or you are just gonna be waiting weeks. 326 00:17:01,019 --> 00:17:04,229 Here's what you could do as well, is name it. 327 00:17:04,259 --> 00:17:06,389 Name it with one person that you trust. 328 00:17:06,689 --> 00:17:08,904 And it doesn't even have to be someone from your own department. 329 00:17:08,904 --> 00:17:10,764 It could be somebody outside of work. 330 00:17:11,064 --> 00:17:13,854 Say something like capacity is just below safe. 331 00:17:13,914 --> 00:17:15,354 I, I need a tiny plan. 332 00:17:15,594 --> 00:17:17,244 Can you, can you help me work something out? 333 00:17:17,544 --> 00:17:19,284 Have a contract with a buddy. 334 00:17:19,644 --> 00:17:23,724 Meet up for 10 minutes a week for four weeks, and just decide what 335 00:17:23,724 --> 00:17:27,444 are each of you gonna subtract or protect or find support over? 336 00:17:27,444 --> 00:17:31,164 And in 30 days you review that and see what's changed. 337 00:17:31,464 --> 00:17:34,194 If there's a group of trusted colleagues you could join and, 338 00:17:34,199 --> 00:17:36,324 and, and talk to, then do that. 339 00:17:36,834 --> 00:17:39,564 Lots of trust, lots of people are actually running coaching groups 340 00:17:39,564 --> 00:17:41,814 now, and often nobody attends them. 341 00:17:42,204 --> 00:17:42,684 Go along. 342 00:17:42,684 --> 00:17:44,604 It's amazing how supportive they can be. 343 00:17:44,904 --> 00:17:47,844 You might wanna actually leave a paper trail, write it down, you 344 00:17:47,844 --> 00:17:49,884 know, write a a capacity note. 345 00:17:49,884 --> 00:17:51,894 Just say that this is how I'm feeling right now. 346 00:17:51,894 --> 00:17:53,094 I'm worried about my capacity. 347 00:17:53,094 --> 00:17:55,584 I'm worried about the risk if this goes on. 348 00:17:55,794 --> 00:17:56,364 Write it now. 349 00:17:56,364 --> 00:17:59,424 You can look at it later and it will validate stuff for later. 350 00:17:59,724 --> 00:18:04,333 And another thing is don't use your annual leave just to mask sickness. 351 00:18:04,573 --> 00:18:09,133 If you really are ill and sick, you need to go and get signed off 352 00:18:09,133 --> 00:18:12,763 sick, not just take a holiday and come back to exactly the same. 353 00:18:12,943 --> 00:18:15,373 And we all know that if you're going into exactly the same thing 354 00:18:15,373 --> 00:18:18,073 and nothing has changed, then you'll just burn out even quicker. 355 00:18:18,500 --> 00:18:21,740 And just remember that you need to keep yourself safe first. 356 00:18:21,830 --> 00:18:25,820 So look out for red flags and look out for red flags in your colleagues. 357 00:18:25,820 --> 00:18:28,670 If you're making a lot of uncharacteristic mistakes, you're 358 00:18:28,670 --> 00:18:32,459 feeling numb or really angry, you are feeling life is getting really 359 00:18:32,459 --> 00:18:36,329 pointless, you're relying on alcohol or drugs, any thoughts of self harm? 360 00:18:36,714 --> 00:18:38,484 Please, please go and see somebody. 361 00:18:38,484 --> 00:18:40,974 This is not about forcing you to do something. 362 00:18:40,974 --> 00:18:43,824 It's about looking after you, keeping you safe. 363 00:18:44,064 --> 00:18:47,244 Tell somebody, prioritize your urgent support. 364 00:18:47,751 --> 00:18:51,571 Because we've all got this choice when we feel that we're burning out, it feels 365 00:18:51,571 --> 00:18:53,641 like we don't, but we do have a choice. 366 00:18:53,911 --> 00:18:54,811 You can do nothing. 367 00:18:55,476 --> 00:18:56,616 You can just carry on. 368 00:18:57,216 --> 00:19:00,991 Your sleep will get worse as you get more anxious, the errors will creep in. 369 00:19:01,141 --> 00:19:05,161 The water will be heating up, you'll be borrowing your performance from everywhere 370 00:19:05,161 --> 00:19:09,301 else in your life until you suddenly crash out and your performance at work drops. 371 00:19:09,991 --> 00:19:12,391 Or you can act now. 372 00:19:12,691 --> 00:19:15,091 You could actually have a plan, get some tools. 373 00:19:15,391 --> 00:19:16,351 Start really small. 374 00:19:16,351 --> 00:19:17,611 Work out what you are in control of. 375 00:19:17,611 --> 00:19:22,681 Do one little thing, one pocket of rest, one honest conversation, one review date. 376 00:19:23,011 --> 00:19:26,341 The same thing, same job, but a slightly different trajectory. 377 00:19:26,821 --> 00:19:28,201 You are turning down the heat here. 378 00:19:28,817 --> 00:19:32,447 And if you want to go deeper with any of this, we have our Beat Stress and Thrive 379 00:19:32,447 --> 00:19:38,714 course which shares all the tools that we use to go from overwhelmed and near 380 00:19:38,714 --> 00:19:44,114 burning out back up to protecting your time, back up to peak performance zone. 381 00:19:44,114 --> 00:19:45,314 So do check that out. 382 00:19:45,771 --> 00:19:47,546 So you are not a frog. 383 00:19:47,846 --> 00:19:50,996 You are a healthcare professional or a professional in a high stress, 384 00:19:51,206 --> 00:19:53,756 high stakes job in hot water. 385 00:19:53,756 --> 00:19:57,926 Now feeling that hot water, it's not a failure, it is feedback. 386 00:19:58,584 --> 00:20:01,764 And the great thing about not being a frog is that you have things you can do. 387 00:20:02,064 --> 00:20:06,144 You can turn down the heat, you can choose to step out the pan if you want to. 388 00:20:06,144 --> 00:20:10,074 You could go to a different pan, a different environment, same job, different 389 00:20:10,074 --> 00:20:11,724 place, that often works brilliantly. 390 00:20:11,994 --> 00:20:14,394 You can choose if you wanna step out the panel together and go to 391 00:20:14,579 --> 00:20:16,254 a a completely different lake. 392 00:20:16,254 --> 00:20:20,484 Now, I know from bitter experience that the problem is when we do 393 00:20:20,484 --> 00:20:21,864 that, we take ourselves with us. 394 00:20:21,894 --> 00:20:25,314 So that's not always the answer, but it may be for some people. 395 00:20:25,614 --> 00:20:30,684 But you also can turn down the heat bit by bit by bit. 396 00:20:31,144 --> 00:20:35,639 Start with facing reality, and you can grab our free burnout 397 00:20:35,639 --> 00:20:37,139 self-assessment, PDF toolkit. 398 00:20:37,169 --> 00:20:39,329 Am I Stressed, Overwhelmed, or Burning Out? 399 00:20:39,329 --> 00:20:42,689 It's a really fast reality check with the next steps. 400 00:20:42,889 --> 00:20:46,279 Next, start with one small thing, tiny step that you can 401 00:20:46,279 --> 00:20:48,079 take, which you can control. 402 00:20:48,379 --> 00:20:51,979 And if you want more support, you can go deeper into these practical tools with our 403 00:20:51,979 --> 00:20:56,449 Beat Stress and Thrive course, or one of our Shapes Toolkit live training programs. 404 00:20:56,799 --> 00:20:59,859 But if you do nothing else today, just take one small step. 405 00:21:00,339 --> 00:21:04,029 Small acts will break the seeming futility. 406 00:21:04,029 --> 00:21:07,269 And don't assume that when you ask for help this time, it's 407 00:21:07,269 --> 00:21:09,039 gonna be like every other time. 408 00:21:09,339 --> 00:21:10,329 You are not weak. 409 00:21:10,629 --> 00:21:15,964 You are wise for facing reality, and there are things that you can do. 410 00:21:16,598 --> 00:21:18,338 And there is hope. 411 00:21:18,758 --> 00:21:21,308 There are ways of turning down the heat. 412 00:21:21,608 --> 00:21:24,728 Check out all our other episodes of you Are Not a Frog. 413 00:21:25,028 --> 00:21:26,498 Check out the toolkit. 414 00:21:26,858 --> 00:21:30,608 Get in touch if you need to and look after yourselves. 415 00:21:30,908 --> 00:21:34,913 Self-care, necessary care is not weakness, it's leadership.