Hello and welcome to the Borealis experience. I'm

your sorority, life coach and companion on this beautiful

journey called life. First off, I want to thank my dear friend,

my beloved friend from Lethbridge, for a very touching,

uplifting, motivating, empowering review that she left

me on Apple podcast, it was incredible to receive these very

kind words and I felt so appreciated and loved and the

timing was just perfect to I woke up that morning and just

Yeah, took care of my household and everything and didn't think

of anything special. And then I'll open up my, my internet, my

phone and I see this beautiful message of hers jumping out of

the screen and touching my heart so deeply. So yeah, thank you so

so much for this special gift. I will leave the link in the show

notes for you to leave a review if you haven't already. And you

can also donate a cup of coffees if you enjoy what I share with

you if you get value out of this, this is a free podcast

without any advertisement or sponsors. And I sure hope I can

keep it that way fod, it also has to be sustainable. So if you

want to buy me a cup of coffees and know that this money will be

reinvested into my podcast, or and when invested into my

retreat, my coaching retreat where you can come and visit me

someday soon, then it would be much, appreciate it. Alright,

enough of my blah, blah here at the beginning of the episode,

let's jump into the juicy parts of the conversation. Today I

want to talk about expectations. Some of you know that I've gone

through a couple of very rough weeks here. And what I learned

is what I want to share with you here everything what I share

here is my opinion, my view my experiences, my learnings, I'm

not a doctor, I'm not a therapist. So if you feel you're

struggling with mental health issues, then I would warmly

encourage you to see a professional and if you don't

know where to go, we can find out together where we can find a

therapist for you. That is a good fit, get match. I'm not

gonna let you down. But I want to add this little disclaimer

that I'm not a therapist. expectations can be crippling,

crippling for the person who has the expectations and crippling

for the receiver for the person that we expect things from and

what I've learned over the last couple of weeks and months when

I was forced to look at essential to see what is really

important in my life and to focus on these things on a daily

level on a daily basis, and to just go from day to day and not

plan too much ahead is that I dropped all kinds of

expectations to awards myself and others. My heart was

basically split open because I was in so much pain and so much

worry but at the same time, so much love and forgiveness

happened. It is not a secret that I had a very difficult

relationship with my dad up until recent years and now that

he's gone through a health scare, I was radically thrown

into deep love and deep forgiveness. And I'm so so

excited and grateful to be reunited with him. In the next

couple of days when I fly over to Germany, and all the little

expectations that I had towards myself all the To Do lists, all

the stuff that I thought I needed to keep me going,

suddenly were stripped apart from me or put it differently, I

chose to not engage in these kinds of thought patterns

anymore. And it was as if a big weight and huge tension was

taken out of my system and being dissolved. And I think it's a

very, very interesting phenomenon that we can observe

that when something happens that I'm shifts our perspective that

sucks us out of our daily routine, we get a different

perspective on to our life. And we realize that we were kind of

in an erratic in an autopilot mode, and didn't really pay

attention to the essential things in life anymore. We get

so caught up in the mundane and forget what it is to be loving,

and vulnerable. And I know vulnerable. That term is being

so overused in recent years, and oh, we need to be soft and kind

and open. I think we got, we got that message all of us. But what

I want to put an emphasis today is to be courageous, and to let

go. And to open up again. And vulnerability will be a

consequence, a natural consequence. Because when you

realize that you have taken your partner, for instance, for

granted for the last couple of years for the last couple of

decades, or maybe you've only been together recently for a

couple months. You are in a very humbling place. And I think what

I want to get across today is that can we please not wait

until our loved ones or different are involved into an

accident or struggle with health issues? Like can we realize that

before and without creating drama, take a break and reflect

about everything we have with the other person, everything we

share everything we cherish, and to then share these feelings and

thoughts with our loved ones. I find it incredible how and I'm

one of them to write that something very bad has to happen

first before I forgive my dad fully. Something super dramatic

has to happen to my boyfriend. Before I realize how good of a

man he is to me and what special person he is to so many people

in his life. And this is why in last episode, I wanted to

emphasize on the importance of taking a break and sitting in

silence and reflecting and thinking because thinking is not

only gonna give you a huge advantage over your competitors,

but it is also going to deepen your relationships with the

people you deeply care about. Because he will sit there in

silence and kind of a bubble, a vacuum that you create.

And you will go over all your relationships and notice how

present they are with you. Notice how they want to stay

connected with you. Notice how While they engage in ads of

services, to help you and to make you feel seen and heard and

supported. And when we do that, I think we can also drastically

reduce our sense of loneliness. And when we then go out there

again and sent this loving kind message that comes out of the

blue for the other person, we can create incredibly strong

thoughts. So I invite you over the next couple of days, over

the next week, to sit down once in a while, and to go through

all the interactions that you enjoyed during the week, over

the last couple of days. And to really soak in that beautiful

connection, maybe it was just a little smile, where maybe it was

somebody opening the door for you. Maybe it was somebody

carrying a heavy bag, maybe it was somebody that you helped

out, and they expressed gratitude. Maybe it was your

partner, leaving a little note, maybe it was a friend who sent

you a message to just check in. Maybe it was your mother Who

baked you a cake. Maybe it was your dad, who helped you connect

to a professional, that could then help you out with job

stuff. To sit down and to reflect about positive

interactions that you enjoyed over the last couple of days is

totally hard filling. And to then go out and give back is

gonna make you feel strongly connected. And we need that for

our health, not only our mental and emotional health, but also

our physical health.

The biggest on scene, so to say transparent pandemic, that is

rushing. How do you say that in English, that is, among us

human beings right now is loneliness. And I want to do

everything in my power to make you aware on where you allow

loneliness to be a thing and where you could put in a little

bit more focus and emphasis and effort, to feel less lonely, to

sit alone and to reflect, to drop expectations towards

yourself without losing ambition and focus and dreams. Right? But

expectations are always I feel negative, aggressive. You make

people feel. You put pressure onto people actually and you put

pressure onto yourself. When you have attachments to a certain

outcome and you don't allow magic to happen you don't trust.

It doesn't mean that you can ask something from someone and ask

something from yourself. But I hope I can get my point across

you to have an expectation and to cling on to it with all you

have, can sometimes make people crumble, run away, shut down.

And same goes for yourself if your expectations are too

unrealistic. You will punish yourself for the days that you

didn't make steps towards your expectation or when things go

differently, you will feel thrown off. So this is also an

invitation for you you to stay open for magic and to trust and

to know that if you stay focused, if you are consistent,

things will fall into place. This is by the way, my, my

ongoing mantra before I go to bed and when I get up in the

morning, is the simple sentence, everything is going to fall into

place. Everything is going to fall into place. And if you have

this little mantra that you can repeat, that you can use to

remind yourself that there is 1000 paths to get to your goal,

not just that one that you're clinging on to, there's so many

more paths to get to where you want to get. And if you shut

yourself down to possibilities or opportunities, you might very

well miss that goal. Because you're shutting yourself off and

out to new paths. And sometimes when we invite people in when we

share our ideas and dreams with people, we can even engage in

little shortcuts. That's the beauty of connection that we

don't have to do it alone, we can ask for help, we can engage

in a couple of weeks of coaching to shift our perspective and to

acquire tools that will get us to our goals with less effort.

So over the next couple of days, reflect about all the little

interactions that you enjoyed that were positive. And really

recall that situation, have the person in front of you receive

what they had to share with you. And after your level, break

yours a little silent time your me time. Go out there and see

how beautiful the world is and how loving and kind and giving

you can be because now that you've reflected on how much you

have received it is so much easier to give and to connect

and to trust and to lower expectations and to know that

your desires your wishes are being hurt yeah, I

think that was it for today. I'm wishing you a good rest of your

day. If there's any episode requests that you would like to

send me out, please don't hold back and take really good care