Do you ever wonder if true resilience isn't about conquering life's mountains, but navigating its daily molehills?

Join me as I explore how the wisdom in a Grateful Dead classic might just hold the key to dealing with life's persistentness and why accepting that touch of gray in every silver lining could be your path to daily flourish.

Welcome to Live well and Flourish, where I help you understand what it means to live a flourishing life.

I'm your host, Craig Van Slyke.

If you're ready to think beyond material and external success, if you're ready to take control of who you are and the kind of life you live, if you're ready to flourish, this is the podcast for you.

When we think about resilience, we often picture heroic acts, facing down life's massive challenges and emerging victorious.

But what if the real test of resilience isn't about surviving life's big challenges at all?

What if it's about navigating the countless small challenges that wear us down day by day?

Of all things, it was a Grateful Dead song, Touch of Gray, that got me thinking about this.

I've loved this song since it first came out, but it's taken on a new meaning as I've gotten more than a touch of gray in my hair.

My beard is down to a touch of non grey.

Unfortunately, it occurred to me recently that Touch of gray perfectly expresses the nature of daily resistance, that touch of gray that exists even in silver linings.

Sometimes we discount the cumulative effect of the daily grind.

Just as a grinding wheel can wear down even the toughest of metal over time, our daily grind wears us down bit by bit, the rent being behind someone getting on us about little things, traffic, the evening bad news.

It can be a lot.

No one thing is that big of a deal.

But piling one hassle on top of another and another and another.

Well, if we don't handle things well, eventually we have a big problem.

Let's look at some of the problems mentioned in the song.

It Must be Getting early.

Clocks Are Running Late illustrates feeling out of sync due to life's little problems.

I know the rent is in arrears.

The dog has not been fed in years concerns the mundane struggles that we all face.

These can accumulate to eventually bring burnout and even larger problems.

By the way, my pups do not view lack of being fed as a small problem.

I see you got your list out.

Say your piece and get it out relates to the shared experience of constantly feeling criticized, although more often than not we serve as our own worst criticism.

Yeah, life throws a lot at us every day.

But now let's turn to the lyrics for some advice on resilience.

The refrain sums up the I will get by, I will survive.

In the context of the song, getting by isn't about overcoming monumental challenges.

It's about navigating the daily grind, those persistent irritations and disappointments that life scatters in our path.

The genius of the song lies in how it elevates these everyday struggles to something meaningful, even noble.

Touch of Grey even gives some advice on how to get by and survive.

First, there's a certain oh well, that's life vibe to the entire song.

C' est la vie.

That's life.

It's a useful expression, even if it is overused.

There's a certain such is life feeling to Touch of Gray.

Life does present little challenges every day.

Getting upset about them is kind of pointless.

This is the core idea of stoicism.

Don't worry about things you can't control and don't let them upset you.

Getting upset doesn't help, it just makes things worse.

Don't discount the importance of accepting daily challenges as an inescapable part of life.

Acceptance is an important part of flourishing.

What is is accept that the world is as it is.

If there are things you don't like, try to change them.

But lamenting that someone or something that has irritated you or caused you problems, well, that's just pointless.

Let's look at this from another angle.

Buddhism's concepts of impermanence and non attachment all problems are temporary.

All problems.

The clouds will part and the sun will shine again.

Or whatever poetic notion you want to use to bring this to life for you.

You've just got to ride things out.

Sometimes reminding yourself of impermanence can help build resilience to the daily challenges.

Non attachment is relevant to resilience, but in a kind of non obvious way.

It may sound odd, but we often get attached to our problems.

We obsess over even little problems and irritations.

Let me give you an example.

The other day I scratched the back of one of my watches, one that I really like, while trying to change the battery.

At first I was pretty upset and thought, well, I've ruined the watch.

That scratch is going to bother me every time I put the thing on, even though it's going to be facing my wrist and nobody will ever see it.

But then I stopped for a second and reminded myself that the scratch will only bother me if I let it.

In other words, if I become attached to the scratch.

That sounds weird.

Yeah, I know.

But we do become attached to these sorts of things.

Then I reminded myself, you know, it's on the back of the watch, so I'm going to be the only one who ever sees it, most likely.

So I let go of my attachment to that particular problem.

Now, that little scratch on the back of the watch is just a touch of gray in the silver lining of being able to own such a nice timepiece.

In a strange way, there's even a silver lining in the event, the scratch itself.

That watch is now my watch.

That scratch makes it uniquely mine.

Not only because it makes my watch different.

I added the scratch.

And that scratched watch is now part of my life story.

A small part, yeah.

But it's now an important reminder of the day in which I practiced what I preach and let a small thing go.

I not only accepted the touch of gray, I embraced it.

It's a rugged watch, so a scratch kind of suits it.

Anyway, so the next time you find yourself upset over some little event, take a tip from the Grateful Dead, shrug your shoulders and remember, you will get by.

Until next time, get by, my friends.