Alexia (00:00.111)

Hello, hello and welcome back. I hope you're having a beautiful day wherever you are tuning into this episode with me here. And this topic today is so near and dear to my heart because this shift that I'm gonna share with you today is one of the biggest shifts that completely elevated how I live, how I lead, how I love, how I show up in the world. And so I wanna start by asking a question that really began to open up new possibility in my brain, in my being. And that question is,

What if the gap between where you are and where you want to be isn't about what you do, but who you become?

So for years, I would say I definitely got caught in the very hustle harder culture. I was definitely caught in the dynamic of wearing the busyness badge of honor. I definitely am someone who thought that the more action I take, the more results I'm going to create. And this has been massive in my academic career, in my career in tech, in Silicon Valley. It's been big, especially on my entrepreneurial journey. I've had to meet this part of myself many times that thinks, if I just get the next strategy.

it'll all be different. I just figure out the one system, then it'll all be figured out. What I've come to realize is that so much of traditional society and business culture is structured on this concept of have, do, be. We think we need to have things first, like a gym membership or a certain level of followers or a certain level of success so we can do certain actions to finally be who we want to be. It's this constant when, then thinking.

But everything changed for me when I flipped this script, when I focused on being first, claiming who I am, and then noticing that the more I did this, the more I deepened into this, the more the doing and having naturally followed. And so I'll just share from a very like simple personal story perspective. I've seen this in many ways over these past years, but this particular year where I really saw it shift the game for me in so many ways was on my fitness journey. So,

Alexia (02:05.336)

I, for the past few years, have been really wanting to get into strength training. I've been wanting to. It's just I haven't been consistent. I found I would often get injured. I would find that I was constantly in this mental dynamic with myself thinking I didn't have the discipline, the willpower to do it, that I didn't know enough that, once I figure out, insert random concept, then I will finally be better at it. And I'm someone who definitely related to being a yoga girl. I trained in yoga, got into Pilates.

So, strength training was this world I didn't really understand and quite grasp, and I would find I would dip my toes in it and then often not really stick with it consistently. Well, instead of having the perfect workout plan or just fixating on doing specific exercises, I decided to really do the work of shifting my identity. And so, what happened was I made a choice. I decided to be a woman who never misses a workout.

I decided to claim my identity of I am the fittest I have ever been. And the moment I claimed this identity, everything changed. I found that I stopped negotiating with myself about whether I'd work out, whether I would show up. I stopped procrastinating on, maybe I just haven't figured out which class I like the most. And I simply started showing up because that's who I am. That's who I was becoming. Because what I find is when you claim an identity,

you now shift the way you perceive yourself. And we all naturally, if we have a perception of who we are, we naturally take action that aligns with that perception. And so I found that when I really stood tall in this, I am a woman who never misses a workout. I am the fittest I've ever been. My actions naturally shifted. My consistency shifted. My skills have shifted. Everything has shifted from that one identity shift.

And so that's what we're diving into today is how to claim your intentional identity so you can move through your year as the person you truly want to become. Not just someone chasing goals, achievements, results, like you're really gonna honor. If we were to flash forward to a year from now, I want you to look back at this moment, at who you are today and be so proud of who you became in this year of your life. And so let me show you how powerful I found these identity shifts can be.

Alexia (04:30.031)

So these are some of the identity shifts I've walked in and I've also walked clients through. So notice how different each of these feel when you move from the doing fixation to the being, to the identity focus. So instead of, I wanna be more confident speaking, one I've heard a lot from clients. Instead, claim, I am a magnetic speaker who captivates audiences with purpose and presence. Can we feel how different that feels?

Instead of, I should just be more organized. To claim, I am someone who creates beautiful systems that support my success. Instead of, I need to be more present with my kids. Claim, I am a peaceful parent who creates magical moments of connection. Instead of, I want to grow my business. Claim, I am a visionary entrepreneur who serves deeply and earns abundantly.

And lastly, instead of, should write more, claim I am a devoted writer who shows up daily to share my voice.

So can you notice and feel as I share each of those examples and notice if any of them in particular speak to you and are deeply aligned with what you are focusing on this year? But notice how each statement feels specific. Specificity is so powerful and this is why I'm so about simplicity, but I find simplicity comes from being specific. And also I find when I connect with each of these statements, I feel an aliveness in my body. It makes me sit up.

a bit straighter, a bit taller, have better posture. I feel like I carry myself differently. I find that it's not about what you're trying to do. It's about who you're being that really matters. And when you anchor into your identity, everything else will flow naturally for you. So I want to give you now a moment to go through really crafting your identity statement. So I'm a girl who loves to break it down into a couple of steps to make this as simple and easy as possible. So I first just want to invite you.

Alexia (06:37.731)

to connect with one of your energy words. So if you haven't listened to the last episode, the one two weeks ago, I would highly recommend checking out that episode that will actually guide you in clarifying your intentions and your energy word or words for this coming year. And if you have, I really want to invite you to connect with one of your energy words. What is the energy word that feels most alive for you right now? And just take a moment to beat with that.

Alexia (07:09.647)

And then I wanted to invite you the second piece here is I want you to notice your current perspective on this energy word. Notice how you've been thinking about this connection you have to this energy word. Have you been focusing on what you need to do or who you should be or what you're trying to achieve by connecting with this energy word? Just giving a moment for observation, not judgments, just observing it.

Alexia (07:36.451)

And then the third step here, simple, right? Let's flip the script. And all I'm asking you to do is instead of thinking in terms of I want this or I should blank, I wanna invite you to create a statement that starts with I am.

So for example, if your energy word is creativity and your intention is to share your work more, instead of saying, should post more, I wanna invite you to claim I am an artist who shares their gifts boldly. And so I'm gonna give you a moment to craft your statement. And if you're able to write it down, I'd love to invite you to do so. If you're driving or walking, just hold it in your intention, in your mind, allow it to brew with you.

What identity are you claiming? I really want to give you a moment to let this land. And may I invite you to ensure this is an identity statement that you feel in your body. If you've heard my previous episodes, I'm always for that full body, yes.

Alexia (08:43.789)

And so now that you have your identity statement, I want to share a simple and incredibly powerful ritual, because we know I love a ritual, to help you ground this in, to really support you with embodying this on a day-to-day basis. And it's very simple. Every morning, I want to invite you to take a moment to stand in front of your mirror. Look at yourself. Honor yourself in the mirror. I want you to look into your eyes and declare your identity statement. That's it.

No complicated steps, no long process, just you looking at yourself, seeing yourself and claiming who you're becoming.

So honestly and transparently when I started my fitness journey as I was sharing with you, my strength journey, every morning I'd look in the mirror and say that to myself, I am the fittest version of myself. At first it felt really strange. It might even feel untrue sometimes, right? There were definitely days where I'm looking at myself going, I'm not the fittest I've ever been. Yeah, but day by day by sitting in that energy, honoring this version of myself, honoring who I'm becoming, this simple practice began to shift how I saw myself.

And so I really want to invite you to notice if you do feel uncomfortable, just to allow yourself to imperfectly perfectly just show up to just try it out, to say your statement out loud and just day by day, try it for at least a week. And again, sometimes the cringiest things you do are the things that are really going to support you the most in powerful ways that only your future self will fully know the magnitude of it.

So again, I'm gonna just give a couple other identity statements. I love just giving that inspiration so you can really feel supported in this. So a few others that I have supported clients with are, I am a conscious leader who inspires through presence and purpose.

Alexia (10:36.063)

I am someone who creates wealth through aligned service.

It can be something like, am deeply connected to my intuition and trust my inner wisdom.

A key thing you'll notice in everything I've shared today is it's really not about complexity. The power is not in the complexity. The power is in your consistency, your specificity, and just lovingly keeping it simple. The biggest thing I'll say with identity work, with life, with change we make in life, is such a big part of what I see is the difference between those who really have the long lasting change.

and those who have short term quick fix change, but let's be real, their New Year's resolutions, what they want just goes out the window really fast, is a commitment to being able to move through the cringe, the discomfort, and a commitment to allowing the showing up to be your win in the beginning. So when I was first starting at the gym and getting really consistent, my biggest celebration was just that I showed up. I would literally arrive at the gym and I would tell myself, I have showed up today, I have already nailed it.

Because again, my identity, I'm a woman who never misses a workout. So even if that was a day where I didn't feel my strongest, I didn't feel the best in my body, I would just show up. And that ability to build trust that I am someone who shows up for what I care about, for what I desire, for who I am, changed me not just physically, it changed me mentally. And so I want you to remember me as I say this to you. This ritual I just invited you to do might feel strange at first. You might hear that voice saying, who am I to claim this or

Alexia (12:16.067)

You know a big one, Like this feels fake, this feels untrue, this doesn't feel quite right. That's normal. You're not pretending to be someone you're not. You're just acknowledging, you're celebrating who you're becoming. You're creating an intentional identity. And the last piece I'll just say here is your intentional identity statement isn't about perfection, it's about direction. And each morning you're simply reminding yourself of the path you're on. And so tomorrow morning I invite you to try this.

Stand in front of your mirror, look into your eyes and declare your identity statement. Notice how different it is to start with being instead of doing. Just notice. Again, I love to give you the invitation to try this for one week at least. Now that you've claimed your intentional identity, you might be wondering, so Lex, how do I actually live this identity day by day? How do I ensure I'm becoming this version of myself? The beautiful thing is, you know how I love to think things through.

I'm sharing something that's been transformative for both me and so many of my clients. It's my weekly ritual tracker, which in other words is my sovereign success dashboard. And this tracker is how you bridge the gap between who you're becoming and how you're living. It's the same system my husband and I use to stay aligned with our highest selves and ensure that we are also co-creating a vision together that's actually

of highest service for us both. And I can't wait to show you exactly how to use it to bring your intentional identity to life. So stay tuned. That's coming in our next episode. And if you feel called to share with me your intentional identity, I would love to invite you to send me an email. I'm currently at this very moment in present time taking some space off social media. So feel free to send it to me over email at alexia at alexiauscar.com. And I'd love to witness firsthand the powerful shift that you're committing to. And as always,

I am so grateful for the gift that is you. I'm so grateful for the gift of your presence on this planet that we get to walk this journey together and elevate together. And I will look forward to our next conversation in the next episode. Big heart hugs your way.