Foreign.

Hello, hello and welcome to an all new episode of Murphy's Rank.

The World World World, World, World World.

A podcast where us Murphy siblings get together and we pretend to focus on sober and fair assessments of all sorts of things, but instead most likely go off on more than a few tangents and generally get silly because that's just what we Murphy's do.

Both.

It doesn't sound like us.

I don't know who you're talking about.

Not us.

You know who wrote this copy?

Yeah.

Wow.

Why would you say that?

Sky?

I know.

Geez.

Wow.

First of all, you sons of.

Two minutes in and already we're working balloons.

49 seconds in.

Wow.

Wow.

We haven't even technically introduced ourselves.

I'm proud of us.

Well done.

Well, I will start with myself.

Okay.

Me, underwears.

My name is Sky.

I use they.

Them, pronouns.

I am the third in line of these lovely, funny, charming, ridiculous siblings.

I just spent owed you 20 bucks.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Wait a second, wait a second.

What kind of like backroom deal is.

Going on in here?

I did not hear about the possibility of bribes.

All day, every day.

And I'd like all.

Every day.

I'd like to introduce you to my older siblings.

Take it away, Tim.

Hi.

Yes, I am Tim.

I am an older sibling.

Really?

Oh, what?

You want more?

You can Venmo me back that 20 bucks and I'll keep going.

Wow.

Oh, God, it's got so complicated.

We don't even have.

Yes, I.

I am Tim, second of four, first born male.

Yeah, we're just gonna continue to, you know, get silly and stupid around here because that's what we do.

And the eldest, I guess you can go.

Wow.

Wow.

Yeah.

First and best.

Hey, I'm Megan.

She her first.

I was.

I was the mold they try to break.

Turns out could only make one in that mold, and the rest was just, I guess.

I guess figuring it out on the fly.

That's okay.

This is fine.

Anyway, hey, we're a family and we're there.

What's our topic?

Our topic today is top five favorite.

No, best.

We don't favor here.

I specifically wrote down in my notes the word favorite and not using best so we wouldn't get all.

Oh, we did say best.

Yeah, we did say best.

We're trying to fight.

Favorite.

We might be able like, oh, this is my personal favorite best.

I'm like, no, that's the energy we're going for.

I see.

We're going for the throat.

Got it.

So top five best crypts.

And I'll Let everyone know why I'm right and they're wrong.

There we go.

That's a spirit.

Yep.

Okay, that's my star.

And we're gonna start with numero five.

Number five.

Five.

Five.

And we're gonna go in age order, and then we'll just reverse it a couple times just so we can keep it fresh and hip.

Oh, boy.

That sounds like.

That sounds complicated.

But if you're in charge for this time.

I am in charge.

I am driving the effing bus.

Okay, it's on you, then.

We need to pull this bus over.

No, Meg.

Number five.

Okay, all right.

I got this.

I got this.

Okay.

So number five, I guess, will be my panini of Cryptids to call back to our first episode.

Never gonna Live this Down, which you.

Should watch at Lunchadore.

Podcast.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, It'll be great.

You can.

You can hear our origin story two weeks ago.

But I'm going.

Is kind of a category in that lake.

Serpents and monsters such as Loch Ness, Champy, Ogopogo.

It seems if there is a lake, there might be a serpent in it.

And that's amazing.

Why does she get to do that?

And then I get cussed out for saying paninis, which is the same categorization.

If we were gonna go phylum, you know, and then family, and then speak if we're gonna do that.

Since you were so clear that I'm the eldest, I guess I get certain privileges.

Damn.

Privileges.

Privileges.

Anyway, anything in a lake.

Like, how could you not?

Because here's the thing.

Here's the beauty of, like, lake serpents, monsters.

Every lake gets one.

Every lake gets one.

Lake Ontario have one, probably.

Have you seen a log floating out there?

Boom.

We got a Loch Ness monster.

We got a, like, Champy is from Lake Champlain.

I.

I did hear that.

I did.

I did.

I do remember hearing about, like.

Yeah, so I think they're the, like, the most.

One of the most democratic of Cryptids.

You get a Cryptid, you get a Cryptid, everyone gets a light Cryptid.

All right, so let's back it up a little bit.

First Sky.

I just like to remind you that the order goes kingdom, phylum, class, order, family, genus, species.

So if we're going to make the whole Panini reference again, then let's just make sure we keep those in order.

Number two.

No, we're not letting her get away with that.

I.

I think.

I think Lake Monster no.

2.

2, General.

Especially considering all those great options that you mentioned.

I mean, are you saying like they don't get their own ranking.

Are you saying it's disrespectful to Loch Ness?

And you're carrying Loch Ness with Champy.

You're comparing the two?

Yeah.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Just because someone has more money behind them, like, like someone's playing out, playing like sold out stadiums, or somebody else is just like, you know, work in the coffee shops, you think they're adding less of an artist.

Now just imagine Champy and a little acoustic guitar singing songs about the lake and going, I'm doing my best.

I might not be the Loch Ness, but I still got a long neck.

So what you're saying is just, it's a promotional game.

Like all those, like monsters essentially have the same attributes and abilities, but it's just, you know, who's spending the big bucks on pr.

Yeah, I don't want it to be a popularity game.

I want it to be the best game.

Anyway, that's my argument.

And you can all just marinate.

Like sitting in a lake with a sea serpent, having a good time, hungry.

I want some marinated chicken.

See, it doesn't even matter if we're not doing a food topic.

Cryptids tastes like chicken.

I mean.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Stop looking at the.

Stop.

Look at these.

These light Cryptids, they're living their life.

They're not a food source.

You're the food source to them.

Hey, let's, let's try it.

They're pretty big.

I bet we're delicious too.

Okay, first of all, Meg is now cut off and we're just gonna move on to Tim because I.

I know her privilege is revoked.

All right, so my number five, speaking of Cryptids playing the coffee shop circuit, who maybe not be, you know, part of the.

The Live Nation Illuminati number five.

I personal favorite mind name alone.

Description alone.

I really think, like, with the right backing, this Cryptids going places.

Like if there was a fantasy Cryptid draft, like a legacy one where you keep one every single year, is the one I'd be keeping.

Because it may be small potatoes in 2024, but I guarantee you by 2072, this is going to be like a top two cryptid.

And of course, I'm talking about the Mongolian blood worm.

Wow.

The grind of those are, like, really creepy.

And it looks like a lamprey.

Like a literal lamprey.

Yeah, imagine.

Imagine you finally got like your own pet sand worm from Arrakis.

That's what a Mongolian bloodworm is.

I mean, most descriptions will tell you it's like Two feet long.

It's essentially a two foot long sausage.

You know, no, no tail, no appendages.

But apparently so goddamn.

Hold on, let me make sure I'm using the right one.

Okay.

Between poisonous and venomous, which is the one that if I touch it, I die.

Poisonous, okay.

Oh no, no, no, it's poison.

Like you'd have to eat or be injected where like.

Yeah, venom has to be taken attack.

Oh yeah, so sorry.

Venom attacks you but it can also.

It has to like.

But anyways, poison you have to eat.

Yes.

Apparently Mongolian bloodworms are so venomous that a single touch will just kill you.

Yeah, death sausages.

Yeah, yeah, they're death.

I mean this is like.

I imagine Mongolian blood worms were the inspiration for that one James Gunn movie where it's all those like.

What is it?

Leeches or.

Oh, slither.

Slither.

Yeah, exactly.

You know, these are like, you know, the, you know, or the person that designed those dune popcorn buckets.

Again, very similar to a Mongolian bloodworm, at least according to descriptions in the books.

But yeah, it's just one of those where I feel like once people learn about it, you're like God damn.

Because I mean I think we all have a inversion to like killer sausages.

Anything.

Anything that's like.

No appendages and it's got that mouth or it's just like this perfect circle maul with all these like teeth coming out.

Yeah, exactly.

You know, leeches, lampreys, you know, any of those.

Maybe that's just because we all watch Stand By Me as kids and we're all like.

And of course you know the, the fear.

Most guys got the dong leech.

So yeah, you know what?

The urine to the ureter.

The K.

Yeah, I just said then I don't know, it seems like a design issue.

Then ur.

We're just.

Look, we're getting the geography correct.

You know your Google map is going to tell you urethra, then ureter.

So where am I?

The lamprey.

I took a left and I should have taken a right turn at Albuquerque.

We says there's construction ahead.

Is it still there?

Oh no.

They're saying rough road conditions.

There must be kidney stones.

Oh, they're made out of calcium.

No, no way.

You know, but anyways, yeah, I think.

Yeah.

To spend like a couple minutes, look up the Mongolian bloodworm, you'd be like, oh yeah.

I will say it's probably the number one cryptid I would want to throw at someone's face.

Holy Jesus.

Just, just legally not a threat.

This is.

This Is just, you know, opinion.

Is that legally get us out of it.

We say it's opinion.

This is not financial advice.

Imagination.

Okay.

Okay.

Sky.

So number five to sky.

This number five, I believe.

Okay.

All right, Start.

It could have been higher on my list, but I have some, like, nostalgia.

One's higher on my list, but if I were to just, like, not count those, this would be in my top three.

Okay.

You either love them or you hate them.

I actually got so bark box.

No sponsorship.

Not yet.

Sponsor us had a cryptid box theme.

And we got this as one of the cryptids and we were so fun.

And is the.

The every single dog that has come to our house absolutely loves this toy.

Okay.

And it is Mothman.

Mothman might be seeing Mothman again.

Classic.

Because moths are both beautiful and terrifying.

True, they're, like, fuzzy, but then they have those.

And some of them have, like, red eye.

Like their eyes are what's scary, but then also beautiful.

And then you have, like, luna moths, which are gorgeous, but like the.

The general, like, design of Mothman.

Like the Mothman.

You have Meg scary as that.

Like that figure.

Can we get an interview on the podcast?

I have multiple Mothman, but Yeah.

And a dice bag.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

That is a looming Mothman.

Yeah.

And then the toy was, like, cute.

So I feel like Mothman can easily be pushed to a.

Oh, that's a cute cryptid too.

I'm not with that cryptid.

You know what I mean?

They're adaptable and flexible as a cryptid.

Correct.

When some cryptids are like, I don't want to with that lamp.

There's no such thing as a cute.

No.

I would like to actually, I would like to say everything on my list easily can, as per my pansexual and non binary self, can go on a spectrum of cute, terrifying.

Yeah, Nobody's gonna pick up a Mongolian bloodworm and go, this is my Squishy.

And I call him Squishy.

I don't know.

That sounds like a challenge.

Does sound like a challenge.

All right, step one, get Mongolia.

Okay, I'm ready for my favorite number of all numbers.

Number four.

444.

Okay, so this cryptid has two names, and I believe one name is cuter than the other.

But it speaks to the fact that this cryptid can be both very, very cute and then absolutely terrifying.

And this cryptid, it depends on temperature, and it's just really cold.

It can be really, really, really, really cold.

And then also one of my favorite movies has him in it, and he says A line, basically, that he shows snow cones, and then he's like, oh, no, no, that's lemon.

But it's a joke on, like, it looking like someone peed in the snow.

Anyways, Abominable Snowman slash, Yeti.

Okay, all right, all right.

Okay.

I like how it was like a riddle for a while.

I know.

Human, right?

Walks on four legs in the morning.

Wait, wrong, wrong.

In a fur coat.

Human in a fur coat.

But, like, you know what I mean?

The yeti can be terrifying a la the disco yeti on the ride in Disney World.

Oh, oh, oh.

Expedition Everest.

Everest.

And then it can be super cute, like in Monsters, Inc.

It's true, true, true.

And was voiced by the guy who does the pig's voice.

I think it's John Katzenberg.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He's been in, like, every Pixar film.

He's their, like, good luck charm.

But, yeah, it can be absolutely terrifying to absolutely cute.

And it's one of my favorite ones.

And I think depending on where he or it is, emotionally, I might want to hug it.

Oh, all right.

Yeah.

All right.

I got.

I got.

I got no fight with that.

And I believe it was in the Minions movie as well.

At this point, I assumed.

Everything's in the Minions movies.

Yeah, everything is a Minions movie.

We are all in a Minions.

We are currently in a Minions movie.

Yeah, we're being watched right now.

And.

And Gru's like, you like these.

These Garbage.

This is garbage.

Okay, brother, you get to go next because we're going in reverse order.

All right, so my number four.

Four.

This is going to be funny because my number four is also the yeti before completely different reasons.

Boy, am I going to take you down a tangent here.

Oh.

So when most people think of the yeti, they think of, you know, Abominable Snowman, the Cryptid.

But let me tell you about the Yeti.

Or as I like to call them, the Yeti, yet say so a little back.

History 4.

Okay.

In 1994, Hulk Hogan joined WCW.

And at that time, we're still doing old school wrestling.

Rules of.

We have, by the way.

Sorry, tangent to the tangent.

Hulk Hogan is a scumbag human being.

And I thank you act that.

He was one of my favorite wrestlers growing up, because he's absolute garbage.

I used to think.

I used to absolutely think that that was Dad.

I used to think dad would go and wrestle, and I hate that that man took away a good memory by being a scumbag human.

Exactly.

So that's why I'd like to talk about this because this has to be one of the most embarrassing moments in his career.

So anyways, 94, he leaves WWF, comes to WCW, and they're like, okay, he's Hulk Hogan.

We got to play the Hulk Hogan playbook, which is we find these cartoonish villains who go up against our hero, Hulk Hogan, and he will smite them down with America and vitamins and saying your prayers and absolutely not steroids.

Nope, that's.

You get that body from boiled chicken breast and rice.

That's it.

So WCW is like, we got it.

He will go up against the Dungeon of Doom.

The Dungeon of Doom.

Dungeon of Doom.

Now, Dungeon of Doom was headed by Kevin Sullivan.

RIP Just recently passed away.

Brilliant wrestling mind.

And it was a shame that he got wasted in such a position with this company.

But anyways, so the way the Dungeon of Doom would work is Kevin Sullivan was called the Taskmaster and every, you know, few months or so forth would call forth these bad guys to try to put down Hulkamania once and for all.

So we cut to their spooky pay per view of Halloween Havoc 1995.

Hulk Hogan's taking on the Giant.

The man who claimed to be Andre the Giant son, AKA Paul White, AKA the Big Show.

The Big Show, AKA one of the largest human beings you could ever lay your hands on.

Eyes on, whatever.

So at that time, Paul White, the Big show, known as the Giant, he was the shining star of the Dungeon of Doom.

He was going to be the one who was going to stop Hulkamania once and for all.

Anyway, end of the match was an absolute show.

A bunch of people who were supposed to be good guys ended up turning heel, beating up on Hulk Hogan.

I'm pretty sure, like Lex Luger was one of them.

So.

But the end of it.

Outcomes.

The Yeti, as called by Tony Schiavone.

And the Yeti was a seven foot tall man wrapped in toilet paper.

What?

Who?

Bumbly and Rum.

You know who Bumbly stumbles down the aisle and sort of like that weird zombie kind of walk as he's heading towards the ring.

The.

The Giant has Hulk Hogan in a bear hug.

So the Yeti decides the best way to show that he will be the one to stop Hulk Hogan to show his dominance is to walk up to the other side of Hogan and essentially just sort of gyrate and hump against him as he's being squeezed from the other side by the Big Show.

What?

Yeah.

No, this is all 100% true.

Like, I didn't think we'd be Having this conversation with this theme.

Tim, I gotta be honest.

We've gone on a journey and, and.

WCW realized and it was such a bad idea that they immediately got rid of toilet paper wrapped human.

Yeah, he had one more match where they called him the Yeti, which for some reason they spelled it with two T's.

Huh.

And then he became like super ninja or something like that.

Oh boy.

Ideas are great.

You know.

It's not always the best right out the box.

So.

So that's why the Yeti's number four.

Sure.

I mean, I can't argue with that.

There's no way.

But, but my God.

Like, yeah, just go to YouTube, put in Halloween Havoc 1995 and watch Hulk Hogan get dry humped by a man wrapped in dirty tp.

I'm not, I'm not mad at that at all.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Murphy's ranks the world, by the way.

And this will probably start my ability working wrestling into every single episode going forward.

Hey, I, I expect nothing less.

I expect expect nothing less.

Just like when I work in Ocean's 11.

You better God damn.

No.

This thing used to be civilized.

You whack a guy, you'd hit a guy, you'd whack.

You done.

But now, oh my God, I'm too tired.

I can't even do it.

You know what we'll do?

We'll record it.

Put Brother Todd says he's going to help us with a soundboard both with our numbers.

So we get 554 and then we should be, I'll be like, can we just put like the ocean's 11 clips there too?

We'll need it on multiple occasions.

Massively.

Number of occasions.

Yeah.

Tim, you actually vend won me $20.

Yeah.

Do I get to keep those $20?

Yeah.

What?

Yeah.

I'm literally getting crumble cookies tonight.

Oh yeah.

Wow.

What?

And not no spawn con.

I, I, I, I guess enjoy doing this podcast with just YouTube.

I'm done.

I'm leaving.

I don't need this.

Meg, you can go now.

I'm looking at the cookies to see.

What'S up with crumbling dessert shopping right now.

So Meg, why don't you go ahead with number four?

You know how angry I am.

This is great because my number four is going to help me with this number four Cookie Monster.

Okay, that's it.

I, I will just stop this recording.

I have the power is for crumble.

That's good.

But no, no.

Because the people need to hear about the creature that inhabits the pine barons of South Jersey.

Oh my God.

A creature with a horse.

A horse.

Goat head, bat wings, horns, small claw, clawed arms, hooved feet, a pointy tail, all in one.

Of course I'm talking about the goat.

Who's the goat headed?

Jersey Devil.

Jersey they got got teams named after.

This is how cool this cryptid is.

Raise your hand if you've lived in Jersey.

For the record, Meg is the only sibling who has not lived in Jersey.

Yeah.

Hey, listen, I can appreciate, I can appreciate the Jersey Devil not go wandering about the Pine Barrens.

Oh, Danny, I should stay the hell out of there.

Wasn't that an episode of the Sopranos?

Probably.

Oh, Danny, you got the Sopranos and the Jersey Devil out there.

Don't go into Jersey.

Danny's rubbing on the mic.

Thanks, Danny.

This is my mic.

Jersey Devil has like a great, like origin story.

The.

There's.

What is the origin story?

Yeah, so often said to be the 13th child of mother leads that she did not want this 13th child.

It might be the child of the devil, but no matter what, when she had this child, it looked normal.

Then all of a sudden it sprouted wings and a tail and hit everybody and flew up the chimney and went to live in the barrens.

Now apparently historically this also might have been a way to like, it was like inter family politics in Jersey.

So the reason the lead name got attack attached might have just been a.

Like, you know what's interesting?

So there was a lead, I don't know his first name, who made it Almanac, about the same time as Benjamin Franklin.

So part of the story might be, it might be like, no, my almanac, because this one's made by someone connected to the devil, so stuff like that.

So what you're saying is in like a Nick Cage.

Nick Cage movie in three years from now he's going to be finding out the story of Jersey Devil was real and Benjamin Franklin, you know, wasn't just making that up because, you know, he wanted to be cool.

Yeah, yeah, it would be great.

Plus, if you ever get a chance to watch the incredibly, incredibly so.

So independent and low budget.

So low budget movie.

Bad.

Ben, I hate to like, not a surprise, but this is going to like get you into it.

The Jersey Devil is part of the story of a movie that's mostly a man wandering around his own house yelling at ghosts.

Oh, is that the camera one?

Yeah.

So apparently the cast never showed up when they were supposed to make this movie, but he still wanted to.

So he made it with like his iPhone and his security cameras.

It's his own house and he's the lead.

So it's just like a middle aged dude, often in like a sleeveless white shirt walking around his house going, no, stop.

It's amazing.

He's made like 11 or 12 of these films now.

Wow.

Anyway, side tangent.

Check out Bad Ben in the many, many sequels.

See, if he wanted to, he would.

Exactly.

That's what I'm saying.

If anybody wants to do something, you can.

That's what I'm saying.

Nothing's stopping you.

If you want to make a movie out of spite, go for it.

Just, just, just do it.

Just do it.

Do it with an iPhone and security cameras and nobody else.

Nobody else is probably the best one he made because it is a surprise triumph.

Now, I don't know how to communicate this to you well, because I am not on camera, but Danny is so ensconced in the top part of my body that I can't reach my list and I don't have it memorized.

So top of the dome is.

Yeah, Danny, Yeah.

I'm sorry.

Yeah, my cat Danny, as in Daniel Ocean.

She is a spiteful boundary, but she's.

The Jersey Devil of cats.

She is.

But this is my thing.

If people say they don't like cats, what.

What I hear is I don't like boundaries.

You just have to respect her boundaries and she'll disrespect yours.

It's fine.

Actually, I consider Danny the Shang Tsung of cats.

Well, here, how about this?

How about Mortal Kombat Tower awaiting you to participate in Kumite?

How about this?

Oh, go ahead.

And then when you reach the top, she just takes your soul.

How about, Tim, you do your number three and that'll give us time for Skye to extract.

What's happening over there?

Oh, no, she's licking my A W0.

Sugar cream sodas then.

Yeah.

All right, so my number three related to the yeti.

In fact, there's some people that will occasionally group it together with perhaps a yeti or a Sasquatch.

And of course, I am talking about number three, Jack Link's Beef jerky's favorite Cryptid.

Oh, that's definitely on my list.

It's either two or three.

You know.

You know, one could say it was the cryptid that started the Cryptids, at least in regards to American pop culture.

You know, that, that grainy ass video, you know, and it just, you know, stuck in our consciousness and never let go.

Whether again it's doing commercials for, you know, dried out beef products or is turned into a slight variation of a movie with John Lithgow.

You know, something about a really tall, furry, Chewbacca looking thing.

Just lets the imagination run wild.

So, yeah, I would say Bigfoot is my number three.

All right.

Okay.

Here, I'll go.

So we give sky some extra time.

Thank you.

I just.

Danny made me bleed.

Oh, my God.

This is not.

Now we're gonna have to put a warning, a content warning on podcast.

I am the cat that says, just bleed like that guy from the ufc.

I.

I now have access to my list, so I'm okay.

Well, too bad Mag's still going, I guess.

What happened?

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

My.

My number three probably is a little slightly less well known, I think, but does not deserve a B tier reputation.

My number three is the Flatwoods Monster, uh, coming out of West Virginia.

Uh, I will describe the Flatwoods monster.

First, a humanish figure with a red face.

Uh, then they have this large pointed hood shape for a head which might be attached to.

To the face.

We don't know.

They have this dark black kind of green body, but it flares out at the bottom like it's a skirt.

But oftentimes it is described as being metal and it has little small claw like hands.

And the reason I particularly like the Flatwoods monster is it's kind of a sci fi cryptid.

Cryptid.

It's often described as something alienish or even robotic.

Just kind of like hanging out here in the woods, maybe floating a little, because it's not always portrayed with legs.

Maybe it's just.

And it's just like, aesthetically a fascinating creature.

And I might have just chosen it for looks.

It's different, y'all.

I mean, listen, no shade to Bigfoot or yetis, but, like, there's a variation of big hairy dude, and I even said lake serpents, but there is a similarity between those.

There is nothing on the other on the cryptid list that is anywhere near the weirdness that is the Flatwoods Monster.

It.

It kind of looks like a doctor who villain.

Well, now I gotta Google this.

Yeah, look.

Look it up.

Like, you'd be like, I imagine, okay, just imagine walking around the woods of West Virginia and you encounter this thing.

Apparently, sometimes it leaves like, noxious smoke or gas, or sometimes, like its eyes emit a green.

A creepy light.

Whatever it does, I'm down for it because who knows?

It likes to mix it up.

You don't know what you're looking at.

The Flatwoods monster.

Yeah, that's.

That, that's definitely one.

Now that I'm looking at him like.

Well, that is definitely not the same Flatwood monster that I see in Fallout 76.

Oh, they're using it.

Sounds like they're disrespecting the Flatwoods monster.

If you're gonna use it, you do the.

Do the classic look or don't do it at all.

I just.

I just love the idea that, A, this game takes place in West Virginia, and B, they're like, hey, let's just have those cryptids.

Yeah, let's do it.

So that's it.

That flat with monster.

For me, the choice is 85 aesthetics.

Yeah.

No, I.

Yeah.

And the rest is vibes.

Vibes.

Well, this one's calling it a Flatwoods beast.

Well, you know, left monster.

I see.

I see.

Yeah.

All right.

Hey, sky, it's your turn.

My turn.

Now that I finally got access to my list, and I'm bleeding.

Thanks, Danny.

Thanks, Danny.

So my number three is so.

In our family, we all have.

So in my.

How do you differentiate just a person I'm married to and our dogs?

Okay.

My spouse and our dogs.

That's how I was like, a differentiating spouse and dogs.

I can't help you because we are a family.

We're siblings in my family.

But so me and my partner have nicknames because one of our dogs is named Littlefoot, and so their nickname is Bigfoot.

And then when I came into the relationship, we're like, well, now I have to have a crypted name.

And so this one is number three because it's my nickname, and also because I've always had this.

I don't know, it is technically an actual phobia where you get into deep water and you're like, there's something coming up to get me.

I forgot what the it's called.

I also have submechanophobia.

I am, like, freaked out by, like, this underwater animatronics.

Auto.

Underwater man.

Animatronics and underwater man made things, like, terrifying underwater, like the.

From a thought.

What is it?

2000 Leagues under the Sea.

What is it?

Oh, 20,000 Leagues.

Yeah.

The old ride.

Yeah.

Go to hell with that.

Anyway.

I don't know why I put myself through it, too.

Every time I look, I'm like, this is gonna.

This.

This is gonna be in my nightmares anyways, Nessie.

Loch Ness Monster.

My nickname is Messy.

And in that.

That bark box, we got Bigfoot, and we got Mothman.

We.

I'm sorry.

We got Nessie and Mothman, but not Bigfoot.

So we got real close to getting.

Them all, like, Pokemon.

Gotta catch them All.

And I think it's really great that it's just in this like one small Scottish lock.

And people, you know, feel very passionate about it.

Few people feel it's been disproven.

Other people are like you, Todd.

You know what I mean?

Like, that was very specific.

Wow.

Individual call outs.

So anyways, I just.

I really like Nessie.

And again, can be very creepy also.

Always actually always creepy.

Just always creepy.

Because it's the water.

It's the water.

That's what makes it creepy.

Is a thing like, I don't know what's it.

What's slithering in water?

Can you slither in water?

It's a wet slither.

Sure, sure.

The wet slither in water.

Like just swimming through the water and it's underneath you and it's just like a.

Like the images of whales like swimming underneath, like one of those kayaks and make me want to just vomit.

But from fear not, from how cool it is.

Like, I think it's really cool in the moment.

And then I would have a panic attack.

Ah.

You know, I do have to know.

Loch Ness monster.

Probably the only Cryptid that has lyrics from a police song, so.

Oh, yeah.

Awesome.

Number three.

All right, so that's my number three.

All right, so number two, we'll start with Meg.

So you're three, two and.

No, we'll do two and then we'll do one.

I was gonna have you do two and one together, but you know how people are like my two and one fought each other, right?

Oh, no, no.

My.

My one's pretty solid because it's pretty personal.

Okay, number two, but two, I mean, listen, I love them.

They're a classic for a reason.

There's a reason they're number two.

And that's my buddy, Mothman.

Listen, classic for a reason.

Another West Virginia cryptid from Point Pleasant appeared in the 60s.

Gotta love a large black figure with moth wings and glowing red eyes.

Like the classic depiction.

I love a good portent of doom.

He's like, hey, get off this bridge.

How it went.

But like people saw him and then later a bridge collapsed.

So now he's become important of doom.

But I think he's there just to help you.

Plus there's an annual festival in Point Pleasant now where all about the Mothman.

And that's where that 12 foot tall metallic statue of the Mothman is, who is, to be honest, thick.

I don't know where to go.

Why is Mothman caked up like that?

I don't know.

That's a 12 foot tall statue.

And I'm like, I would suspect that.

Yeah.

That that Mothman's got a gat like you would not believe.

Like, yeah, yeah.

Yo, yo, look, look it up.

Look, look, look up.

The.

The 12 foot tall mothman statue in Point Pleasant.

Literal Buns of Steel.

Yeah.

At Buns of Steel, everyone else is failing their cryptids.

This is respect.

This is a community who's like, thank you, Mothman.

Thank you, Mothman.

This is how we see you.

Yeah, yeah.

I mean, this Mothman statue might as well have been dancing with she Hulk and Megan.

Thee Stallion.

I mean, we're talking what the clap?

Clap, clap, clap.

Yeah, yeah.

That's the only reason I like.

It's dollar quarters.

Like, you could put a Morgan silver dollar dollar Twix those cheeks and it ain't coming out.

Are you abs.

What in the what?

Why would you need to do.

Do that?

Why wouldn't you do that?

It's art.

Capital A art.

It's capital A art.

It's gonna be one of those.

It's gonna be one of those statues.

Like, you know how there's the one in Europe about that dog that saved all the people?

And like, the nose is extra shiny because whenever people walk by, they're always rubbing the nose.

It's gonna be the same thing, except those cheeks are gonna be shining like the sun.

I mean, they're just gonna be like.

The top of the Chrysler Building, you know, just.

Just generations.

Hands and skin oil.

Just rubbing them.

Rubbing that.

I mean, I couldn't resist it.

I'd be like, I want that.

Look here.

He.

He started his important of doom, but now he's a symbol of good luck.

Exactly, Flap.

I can't believe the important of doom.

Now he's, you know, like magic Mothman xxl.

All right, we're talking.

You know, I now want a movie with Channing Tatum as the Mothman cheek dog.

Oh, dad, call us Hollywood, but I think this, you're gonna have that one for free.

This speaks to the flexibility of Mothman.

You can have cute fuzzy versions of Mothman.

You can have cheeked up Mothman and everywhere in between.

What?

What?

What?

A star.

What A star.

Erected in 2003 by Town of Point Pleasant.

Yeah, yeah, right.

So remember, this is a municipal statue, which means there were drawings, which meant some sort of, like, council or the.

The people of the town looked at those drawings and said more.

But they had a process.

People had a vote multiple times, and.

Every vote was dream.

Yeah, there is a little dream.

There's a little A literal plaque, like in.

Like a.

Like a museum plaque.

Legend of the Mothman.

On a chili fall night In November of 1966, two young couples drove into the TNT area north of Point Pleasant, West Virginia, when they realized they were not alone.

When they.

What they saw that night has evolved into one of the great mysteries of all time.

Semicolon.

Hence, the Mothman legacy began.

I would not have capitalized whatever.

It has grown into a phenomenon known all over the world by millions of curious people asking questions.

Colon, what really happened?

Question mark.

What.

What did these people see?

Question mark.

Has it been seen since?

Question mark.

It still sparks the world's curiosity.

Dash the mystery behind Point Pleasant, West Virginia's Mothman.

There is a lot of, like, grammatical choices in here, and I don't judge people's grammar.

I'm just saying, as someone who's dyslexic, I got confused.

But that's passion right there.

That is passion.

Just saying black doesn't.

Doesn't mention them, you know, apple bottom jeans that the Mothman was wearing.

Well, it doesn't have to, because you have a vis.

Representation right there.

And no wonder they were so distracted.

They're probably just driving, like, damn.

This.

This is.

This is my number two for a reason.

And there's only I.

I will explain why it is not number one.

Do you think it was, like, a recreation of that scene from Bachelor Party when that couple was about to kiss in their car and then that bare ass just falls right through the moon roof?

I.

I don't think we'll ever know the full inspiration.

And you know what?

It's part of the mystery of Mothman.

Yeah, it could be any ass.

It could be.

All right.

Okay.

Your number two.

Yeah.

All right.

My number two.

Many different varieties exist in regards to size and description, but there's always one thing that's always true, and it is that thing is gonna suck your goat.

So, of course, I am talking about the chupacabra.

Very nice.

You know, part of it is because my partner Ellie swears on this day that her and her sister saw a chupacabra somewhere in Greece, New York, which seems like the last place you would see a chupacabra.

Oh, no.

You know, maybe.

Maybe he was traveling.

Maybe he had some Italian relatives he was visiting or something, you know, But I'm thinking maybe it was just like a coyote with mange, but, you know, they swear was a Chupacabra.

And who am I to.

To question that?

I wasn't there.

But, yeah, I just.

I think I think it's, you know, I.

I like, again, the flexibility of how you can depict it, but, you know, I.

I just kind of like the idea of, like, what's this guy's story?

He wants your goats, not your money, not you.

No, screw you, buddy.

I don't want anything to do with you.

I just want.

I just want them sweet, sweet goats.

Yeah, they don't care.

Like, oh.

Oh, no.

Are you a port of doom?

I don't even know you.

Where are your goats?

Yeah.

How clean.

Oh, my God.

Is the one I love going to die?

Dude, I am just starving.

Do you love this goat?

Yeah, you know.

There'S a simplicity that I appreciate.

Exactly.

Yeah.

You know, it's.

It's not wrapped up in, like, you know, it's not about invading planets.

It's not about, you know, taking your soul.

It's not about, you know, any of that.

It is just give me them goats.

Yeah, let's go have a little sip.

Yeah, just a little.

Just so we can all appreciate exactly.

When you said that, I was like, oh, I'm gonna sip some more cream soda.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

I can understand a little sip.

A w.

Cream soda.

Sponsor us.

I'm gonna actually do my one and two together.

Because.

You want to change.

First of all.

First of all, I'm in.

I am the host.

You are about to get usurped again.

Yeah, listen.

I will Listen, Robert's rebellion all over.

Your mom is an upscale take on a classic house salad.

Okay, you can't do your mom jokes.

Here because your mom is also an upscale take on a classic house salad.

Yeah, and also three times.

What was just said?

Also, like, remember, any of us can text that to mom and be like.

I can open the door.

Mom's here right now.

Please, please, please don't bring her.

I just said please don't bring her on.

Please don't.

Okay, so let's.

Okay, okay.

You know what?

We're gonna allow this right now, but then we were gonna have a conversation.

We're not gonna have a conversation.

No, no, no.

We're gonna.

We're gonna thrust upon you a Magna Carta that you will be forced to sign.

Yeah, like they used to do it in the olden days.

Sky, what's your one and two?

Yeah.

Oh, did you see who's here?

Oh, hello.

Hi.

We see Danny.

Hi, Danny.

No more blood.

No more blood.

You've had enough for tonight.

All right, so now you're playing on the ones and twos.

The ones and The Twos.

So my number two we've already talked about.

It's Bigfoot.

Okay.

Yeah.

Classic.

It is special place in my heart because it is my spouse and the love of my life's nickname.

I hear it every day.

It is a classic.

The Pacific north, yet still number only.

Number two West.

Beautiful place.

I, too, would want to.

To just not.

Gallup.

What's the word I'm looking for?

Gallivant.

Gallivant.

Thank you.

Gallivant.

Wait, like the TV show.

Oh, God.

All right, we gotta do a whole episode.

Yeah.

Can I just say a.

It was a miracle they ever got a second season.

Yeah.

I'm still kind of sad.

They only had two seasons.

Yeah.

Accidentally hit Danny with my headphones, and she's not happy.

Oh, you're gonna.

Oh, no.

Sky, go quick.

You only have so much time before the anger rises again.

They fell off my head.

Oh, boy.

Okay.

And my number one is because of the.

One of my most favoriteist pets I ever had.

And his name was Guster.

Gusterson.

And he was an English rabbit.

He was a bunny.

He was a bunny.

And so I was.

I was French.

It was Frank.

And also Boston Red Sox.

Le.

Boston Red Sox.

Best baseball team ever.

First of all, you all applied that to him too.

I had a little Red Sox jersey.

And I said, oh, they bought him a little Red Sox.

Mark Wahlberg.

We're good siblings.

You're wonderful siblings.

Jackalope.

The jackalope.

Because you know what's adorable?

They're great.

Yeah.

A bunny with antlers that can gore you with antlers.

Yeah.

Gore you with antlers.

Because what.

What would Guster's little sassy ass do if he had antlers?

He'd hit you with the gore.

He hit you with the gore.

I would.

I would do this.

This is true.

Yes.

Again, I think I have a thing for, like, when cute things can also just, like, your up.

I mean, that is a Murphy family aesthetic.

I don't know what is.

Just look at us.

We're so cute.

Cute.

We're so cute.

Yeah.

That's why the Jackalope has to be number one.

Yeah.

I like it.

I mean, I can't.

I can't argue.

Like, there's no way I can argue against the jackalope.

I just.

No, I mean, I.

Unexpected.

Was not planning on hearing that one.

And.

Yeah, I really can't.

Damn it.

I think Sky's gonna win this one, guys.

I can't debate it.

All right.

Okay.

Okay.

Well, let's go, Tim.

What's.

What's Your number one.

Let's do it.

Let's see.

Well, I mean, I wrote my list in pencil so I could, like, erase things as I heard other people talking about it, but I really realized that would be dishonest.

So my number one, everybody's already talked about.

It's the Mothman.

Yeah.

You know what I like about Mothman that has been mentioned yet is, you know, I am one of the, I think, seven people that still play Fallout 76 and they have entire quest lines dealing with the Mothman.

And I.

I like their interpretation of the Mothman in the idea that it.

It is an enemy, but, you know, it will appear and disappear randomly.

You have to be very quick to even catch sight of it.

But then you realize, at least lore wise in the game, there's a whole variety of Mothman.

In fact, at one point you meet a wise Mothman that asks you to do things for him and will bestow blessings upon you if you do.

But again, it's the same thing, you know, and then suddenly, poof, he disappears and sort of a, you know, puff of like, blacksmith smoking, maybe some little bats and stuff.

But again, you know, classic piercing red eyes and.

Yeah, but again, you know, you have the scary one, which is a little more like, you know, sinewy lean, but like the wise one that's kind of the nicer one.

It's, you know, rounder face, a little more owly and mothy, you know, nice.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So again, you know, cupid deadly.

So, yeah, I don't think I need to rehash the, the.

The Mothman statue, but I'm going to anyways.

Seriously.

Dad.

Ass.

Dad.

Ass.

Daddy.

You know what's interesting?

You mentioned owls.

And having researched cryptids, do you want to know how many times in there they're like, you know what?

This probably was an owl.

Mothman.

Probably an owlhole flat was monster.

Very well could have been an owl.

As someone who.

Monster owl.

Someone who worked in the woods for a very long time.

Yes.

A lot of the time it's a fucking owl.

Yeah, I.

I also heard of Mothman.

There is a kind of like.

It's like a sandhill crane or something which has like, red around its eyes.

You just caught this in the.

And it has giant wings.

These things are big.

So if you weren't used to seeing them and you just saw one, like at dusk, you'd be like, the.

Is this thing?

It must be a moth.

One time in the Catskills, I heard the most crazy sounds.

I could tell they were Birds of something.

It turns out it was a great horned owl attacking a great blue.

A great, A great blue heron.

Yeah, I bet that's nuts.

And I.

You should look up the size differentiation on this.

A great blue heron has six foot wingspan and a great horn hour owl is probably, I don't know, like nowhere near that.

And the owl, scientific measurement, the owl one.

And because we're working with the state, we got to like collect it for specimens.

Oh, wow.

Because we open, we went overnight and we got in the morning and got to see just the decimation that happened.

Wild.

But also the sound.

I'm like, this is why people think like that could easily been a cryptid.

That could easily be like the sounds were like paranormal.

Oh, I believe it.

I, I love that.

How most cryptids might be owls, but not my number one.

My number one.

No way.

It's an owl.

It's an owl bear.

All right, I'll tell you, okay, so my number one, what it probably is.

What it probably is is a camera glitch.

But shut up.

They're real, okay?

I'm talking about my favorite cryptid, a newcomer to the list in many ways and yet really rising up the ranks, the Fresno Nightcrawler.

What's a Fresno nightcrawler, you say?

Well, it's been caught several times on very glitchy, crappy CCTV or sometimes a recording of the CCTV because that footage has been lost.

What do they look like?

They seem a little short, but they're like.

Imagine a white sheet ghost, but with like little noodly cartoon legs just walking around.

That's basically it.

Do they have lore?

Not really.

Are, are they a portent of doom?

I don't know.

I think they're a portent of joy.

Is it probably a camera glitch?

Absolutely.

Have people faked them?

Yeah, of course.

Why wouldn't you?

But, but I just want to believe in my heart that maybe somewhere that we've kind of accidentally discovered something that exists.

Just none of our, our footage is actually of a Fresno night crawler.

So for those of you who are trying to envision a Fresno nightcrawler, you know those little videos where the people take their pants, hike them all the way up to their neck, stick their arms into the leg holes and just pour a waddle.

There you go.

That's.

That's a Fresno Nightcrawler videos right now.

And this.

They're long leg, they're long legged.

Amazing creatures.

They're grace and beauty, but not.

They're the goofy as and I love them 100%.

They look like the, it looks like the parents of the ghosts from the Pac man video game.

I mean, I would also like to point out that that could absolutely easily be a deer on its hind legs.

Oh sure.

But not an owl.

I said it's definitely not an owl.

Could it be a deer to time like.

Yeah, sure.

Like, because dear hind legs are scary.

Oh yeah.

Oh yeah.

And I just love about a Fresno nightcrawler is no one's like, oh shit, I saw one and it ruined my day.

They're like, wait, what is that thing?

Like it brings joy.

Like, right.

Like at most you're slightly confused about it.

You're not running away.

You're not terrified.

You're not moving towns.

You're like, huh.

Well, what do you know?

That's the reaction you get from a Fresno nightcrawler.

Yeah, it's, it's, yeah.

It is definitely not a scary Cryptid.

No, no, it's just, you know what?

I don't think we've seen everyone, anyone from the behind.

So I don't know how it's like what it's like, you know, thick or not thick situation is.

But you know, I think we'll, we'll learn more as, as people start looking for more Fresno nightcrawlers.

Look, I, I'm just saying let's, let's not set up the Fresno nightcrawler for, for failure.

You know, there is only one caked up Cryptid.

There's only one, you know, Nightcrawler's all legs.

Yeah.

It doesn't need a butt.

In fact, they probably don't have butts.

Yep.

They're just leg.

Any.

Anything that you don't see.

Everything's basically leg.

They're head and leg.

Exactly.

That's what evolution wants.

That's the evolutionary pinnacle.

Head and legs.

Long legs.

And that's where I'm at.

Does anyone have any like runners up?

Because, God, I had a whole list.

It was tough to choose.

My runners up are specifically.

Hold on.

Where did it go?

Where did it go?

I don't know.

Where did it go, Danny?

So I'm on the a Cryptids like fandom and let me tell you, there's some wild on here.

Yeah, it's great.

And specifically I just happen to where to go.

There's something called bear dogs.

Okay.

In Canada and Alaska, remote open tundras and mountain glaciers.

And as someone who has recently gone to Alaska easily believe this.

And also I don't know if you ever heard of the dog.

I think the dog's literally called a.

Like a Caucasian or something called Cajun shepherd dog.

That's what it's called, a Caucasian shepherd dog.

You could easily think that was a bear dog.

I got you.

Yeah.

Because they are bear.

They're bear dogs.

They're bear dogs.

They're bear dogs.

What more can you say?

Sasquatch.

Sasquatch.

Sasquatch.

But anyways, also, I just love dogs, so something that can just be.

You know those photos on, like, Facebook and social media where you're like, that dog is not that big.

Like, that is some sort of camera trick.

Yeah, yeah.

No, these dogs are huge.

I think they have dogs as Cryptids because, like, yeah, probably there's some dogs.

You're like, how's that thing?

How's that real?

Well, my dog's about to be.

Yeah, yeah, you have that.

You.

You're about to have that experience.

Ah.

Hey, Tim, did you have any runners up?

I mean, I.

I did leave Loch Ness Monster off, mostly because I figured one of you were.

Is going to bring it up.

Some tough cuts.

Tough cuts.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You know, there were others that sounded interesting, but I'm like, I can't just grab one because it sounds interesting and pretend it was in my top five.

Oh, the Dover Demon, or my personal favorite, the Lizard man of Scape or Swamp.

It's got some of the best names.

You're like, that sounds awesome.

I'm like, but I know nothing about it unless I pull up its Wikipedia page and then I feel like I'm gaming the system.

Yeah.

So essentially, it's like, if I.

If it's something I hadn't heard of previously, I'm not just gonna throw it on there just because I'm like, oh, that's cool.

Oh, that cool.

I gotcha.

I gotcha.

I think one.

One of mine, because I definitely had, like, I definitely.

I.

I had Chupacabra, Bigfoot, Mongolia.

Sorry, before you get to yours, I just had an interesting question in regards to Cryptids.

Would we have Count Mogwais as Cryptids or.

Because they're.

We already know they are, you know, fictional creatures, but I feel like, you know, they might fit the definition at least a little bit.

I would almost argue against it in that, like, we have a script that, like, that's the origin.

It's harder.

I feel like a chunk of people kind of have to at least at one point thought they were real, you know?

Yeah.

There can't be a definitive story that.

That everyone goes, yes, this is one Hundred canon.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Joe Dante directed this.

That I.

I would say like though we can literally do a list of our favorite like cinematic critters.

Yeah, number five critters.

I'll tell you right now.

Chuds are on there.

Cool.

Yeah.

Ghoulies, trolls that are actually goblins in the second one.

Yeah, all the good stuff.

Yeah.

Let's just go hang out by Neil Bog.

It'll be fine.

It's full of trolls.

Wait, what?

Neil Bog?

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

Where the movie Miami Connection takes place.

Oh my God.

Okay.

All right.

So my runner up of.

Of the other ones is.

I.

I love it.

The I love.

There is a cryptid called the Loveland Frog or frogman and it is described as a four foot something frog that has seen.

Been seen on several occasions, including one time when a cop said he shot and killed one.

Most people believe it's probably like a tailless iguana.

But I, I like the idea these.

This four foot tall frog guys going, wait, what the.

Listen, we're just doing frog stuff here.

And this guy just started blasted.

Yeah.

So I started blasting and I do.

Not know how a cryptid is still a cryptid if someone said they shot and killed one.

Unless it like sunk instantly into a swamp or something.

I don't have the report.

Wow.

Imagine so inspired that you would in a publicly accessible report, say you shot a Loveland frogman.

Like, wow.

Yeah.

I mean, most police reports are foilable.

Like you can put in a freedom of information request and some of it.

And I'd love to be the lawyer who is going through the form trying to figure out what to redact or not when they get to the.

I shot and killed a Loveland frog man.

Yeah.

I don't know, but I just.

I.

The story attached to it.

Plus again, I hope unique.

I hope they did redact it.

And the person who got the report challenged the redaction.

So somewhere in a courtroom there was a judge who had to decide whether or not the information about a Loveland frog man is to.

To the public's detriment or benefit to be released.

And then at the end, when everyone else left the courtroom, the judge removed.

Judge removed his mask and it was.

A lovely frogman and went, yes, ribbit, ribbit.

And scene.

I adore you both so much.

I think that might be a good place to leave it.

I literally was gonna say, I think that is a wonderful place to say step off this ride that we have been on.

You no longer want to be on Mr.

Bones wild ride?

No, I'M good.

I would like to get my crumble.

Mr.

Frogman's wild ride.

I would actually like to get my crumble cookies.

Thanks to, you know.

Sponsored by older brother.

Okay, we're not done with this.

We're not done with this.

Yeah.

I feel like there was no resolution to either our top five list or the fact that I sent sky money to buy cookies and send me cookies.

Tune in to the next episode, see if we're still talking to each other.

And I'll let you know what cookies I got today.

So thank you so much for joining us here on this wonderful Murphy's Rank the world.

And we hope to see you back next time.

No pressure, though.

Take your time.

Stay hydrated.

Hydrate.