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That's bulls***.

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That was my immediate reaction to the
work I now build my entire career around.

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In this episode, I will share how I
came to this work and how I almost

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dismissed it, what a paradigm is and
why you need a new one, and the urge

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most people feel, and probably even
you, to skip ahead to the quick fix,

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and of course, why there is not one.

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I'm Justin Sunseri, a therapist,
self-regulation coach, and Polyvagal

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Institute Editorial Board Member.

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You're listening to Stuck Not Broken, Book
One: Trauma and the Polyvagal Paradigm.

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First, that's bulls***

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Twenty eighteen, I worked as a
staff therapist in a very high

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needs public school district.

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Trauma was a regular aspect of therapy.

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The students often told me about
traumatic incidents they had been

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through, their depressed emotional
states, their panic attacks at school,

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and their failing love interests.

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Often, and probably most often, they told
me about poor relationships with their

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parents, ranging from hyper-controlling
to neglectful and abandoning.

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On top of this, these students often
lived in poverty, sometimes homelessness.

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Many were foster children and had lived
in numerous homes with numerous people.

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Their friendships were unreliable,
untrustworthy, and fleeting.

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They struggled to identify a single
adult with whom they felt a connection.

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The students have numerous
defenses, and they default to

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distrusting others with very good
reason, I don't blame them at all.

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During the school year, I would
meet with the students once a week,

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at least once a week, to once a
month, depending on their needs.

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However, during the summers, students
typically want nothing to do with

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school or school personnel, even
beloved therapists, so they skip

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therapy for a couple of months.

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Not all, but most.

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That gives my colleagues and me time to
catch up on stuff, create curriculum, and

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increase our professional development.

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In the summer of twenty eighteen, I
was caught up in all my paperwork, or

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what I would call busy work, and set
aside time for professional development.

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I chose to revisit my understanding
of trauma and how to work with trauma.

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"Why, Justin? Why focus on that?" you ask.

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Well, because even though I could
connect with the students and

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build strong therapeutic rapport,
I wasn't getting the therapeutic

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outcomes that I was hoping for.

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The sometimes poor outcomes were
maybe most glaring with the most

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heavily traumatized clients.

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Such clients were more disconnected
and dissociative, with the

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fewest safe, ongoing, reliable
relationships with others.

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The students lacked motivation
for academics or any other

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type of success in life.

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The ones who saw little point in
putting forth effort in school I

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was doing all my, you know, typical
therapy stuff, but something was

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missing, and I had no idea what.

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I was struggling to help these
students escape the dark hole

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that they were trapped in and
to make real, lasting change.

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I was struggling to help them
feel motivated and then act on

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that feeling if they had it.

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I struggled to help them care
about their life and its direction.

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I knew it had something to do with trauma,
and that was as far as I could take it.

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Yeah, we're taught about trauma
in therapy school, sort of.

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We're taught things like
trauma lives in the body.

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You've probably heard it.

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This message is repeated ad nauseam
through various continuing education

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courses, seme- seminars, and lectures.

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But no one ever explained how.

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They didn't explain what that meant.

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But that phrase stuck in my mind.

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So I did what any good scholar would do,
and I searched for trauma on YouTube.

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But before delving into things, I told
myself that I knew nothing about trauma.

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I needed to start over, start from
scratch, and work from the ground up.

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Then I let the YouTube rabbit
hole do what it does, taking in

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video after video, sifting through
the ones that needed sifting.

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I was looking for primary sources,
not influencers with general

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trauma or, or therapy knowledge
who danced in one-minute clips.

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I wanted an expert, the person
who took things to another level

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and could tell me how the heck
trauma could live in the body.

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I eventually stumbled upon Peter
Levine's work on YouTube, probably,

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uh, one of the interview, interviews
where he talks about Nancy.

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Levine is the creator of Somatic
Experiencing, a modality that

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utilizes the felt sense of the body
to release trauma stuck in the body.

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He had a treatment for trauma
and also an explanation of what

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trauma lives in the body means.

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He discussed the autonomic
nervous system and how the body

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prepares for safety or defense.

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I saw him put his knowledge into
practice and perform what seemed like

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little miracles with his clients.

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I'm glossing over the specifics.

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They don't matter right now and
will be discussed later in the book.

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The point is this.

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I found someone who could answer the
question of how trauma lives in the

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body, and my immediate reaction was,
"That's bullshit." Was this Levine some

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sort of snake oil huckster con man?

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"This is nonsense," I thought.

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And then I reminded myself
that I know nothing.

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I reminded myself to work from the
ground up, assuming I had everything

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to learn and many gaps in my knowledge.

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So I took a deep breath and
continued giving this Peter Levine

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character a chance, while remaining
wary of any snake oil offers.

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The lessons intrigued me as I continued
with Levine's interviews and teachings.

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Information started to click.

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I was unlearning and relearning.

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The body gets stuck in a state of defense.

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It can't complete its survival impulse.

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Okay, got it.

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So I continued down the YouTube autonomic
nervous system trauma rabbit hole.

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Next, I found a very dry academic
lecture, uh, by Dr. Stephen Porges.

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He was lecturing about
his Polyvagal Theory.

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The PowerPoint slides were awful.

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The audience seemed
interested, but I could hardly

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understand what he was saying.

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However, I could make out some.

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He was talking about the autonomic
nervous system just like Peter Levine

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did, but he was able to go deeper into it.

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Apparently, he had been doing
heart rate studies and literature

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reviews and could connect them to
evolution or something like that.

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Things began to make more sense, though.

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Trauma lives in the body
was making more sense.

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The pieces were coming together
As I continued to take in lectures

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and interviews with Dr. Porges, a
bigger picture emerged, providing

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me with a new grounding and
understanding in treating trauma.

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From Porges, I found Deb Dana
through the YouTube autonomic nervous

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system, trauma, vagal rabbit hole.

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She made things a lot
easier to understand, a lot.

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I got my hands on the writings
of Levine, Porges, and Dana.

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I studied and studied and studied.

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I highlighted and underlined and scribbled
notes, shared them with others, wrote down

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things that didn't make sense to me so I
could look deeper into it, and eventually,

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I built presentations on trauma.

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I knew I understood and could teach this
to my colleagues, like teachers and school

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district staff and other therapists.

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Polyvagal theory had me hooked.

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I had clarity and direction
for my clinical trauma work.

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Although, "hooked" is
probably an understatement.

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Obsessed might be closer to the truth.

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I went deep into the primary polyvagal
books and papers and then went further.

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I eventually got to a point where I
had to remind myself I'm a therapist.

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Focus on how this stuff applies
to therapy, to trauma recovery,

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and to self-development.

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Actually, my wife reminded
me I'm a therapist.

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"You know, people go to school for years
for this stuff, right?" she said to me one

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day, and yeah, that was a good reminder.

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Trauma made sense.

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I had answers about trauma living
in the body and how it gets stuck

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and how we get unstuck from it.

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I identified how the theory works in
the therapeutic process, and I could

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see it alive in my therapy clients.

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When I shared pieces of the theory
with clients, it made sense, and

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it normalized their experiences.

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They felt validated and gained a
deeper understanding of themselves.

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It opened up compassion and
real avenues for change.

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I was really onto something revolutionary,
both in my mind and in the field of

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psychology and the practice of therapy.

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It answered my questions, provided
a new foundation, and it inspired

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me to evangelize the th- the theory.

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I created The Polyvagal Podcast,
which is now Stuck Not Broken.

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I created a YouTube channel, social
media accounts, a blog, the Unstucking

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Academy, and the Self-Regulation Coach
app, all grounded in the polyvagal theory.

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And I now proudly serve on the
Polyvagal Institute's editorial board,

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reviewing submissions for accuracy.

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But I'm not done.

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I keep learning and deepening my
understanding of the theory and my

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ability to apply it to whatever I can.

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Now, I want to pass it on
through this audiobook.

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I think you'll find it interesting,
if not enlightening, and probably

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normalizing and validating.

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That's my hope, at least.

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And no, Peter Levine never
tried to sell me any snake oils.

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A polyvagal prescription

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A paradigm is like a pair
of glasses, put simply.

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It's a way of viewing reality.

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If you put on the glasses, it
changes how you see things, and if

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you take them off, the same thing.

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If you try out a new paradigm
with different lenses, your

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view of reality changes again.

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The current paradigm glasses you're
wearing may be incomplete, like

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when no one teaches you what is
meant by trauma lives in the body.

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Your paradigm may need an update.

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Otherwise, it may lead you to
see things in very distorted

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ways that aren't helpful.

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Paradigms are everywhere.

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There are paradigms for
understanding the cause of mental

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health issues, for example.

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One view is that they're caused by
a chemical imbalance, while another

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view is that the individual, well,
they're just not strong enough.

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There's even paradigms for the news.

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If you watch one news source,
they'll have a much different

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way of seeing things compared to
another, if you haven't noticed,

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like M- MSNBC versus, uh, Fox News.

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It's not about right or wrong.

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They're both incomplete and biased means
of understanding an objective reality.

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Paradigms don't have to
be versus each other.

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They can complement each other.

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The intersectional view of an
individual is incomplete but can be

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helpful along with other paradigms
for understanding ourselves.

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It could be helpful to see yourself
as a product of socialized racial

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and gender roles, while also
viewing yourself as an individual

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responsible for your own change.

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These can live side by side, though
neither is quite enough on its own.

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You need accurate paradigms in your life.

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A paradigm aligned with reality
is necessary for growth.

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If I told you that techno organic
fairy sprites living in your head

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control your thoughts, that would not
help you make changes in your life.

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Believing in techno organic fairy sprites
is not grounded in reality, so we can't

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do anything useful with that belief.

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Unless, of course, we knew how to
appease the fairies, I suppose.

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The new paradigm I want to pass
on is the Polyvagal theory.

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However, I don't want you to
simply take in this new paradigm.

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I encourage you to actively tell
yourself that you're creating a new

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way of understanding your reality.

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You're an active participant, even
in learning new information and

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unlearning information you've held
onto that has fostered an unhelpful,

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maybe even harmful paradigm.

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Or you're adjusting a
paradigm you're holding onto.

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No matter what, you are an
active participant, so own that.

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I invite you to look more deeply into
the possibility that more is happening

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within each of us, specifically
at the, the biological level.

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This new information can be instrumental
in developing greater knowledge

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and a more accurate paradigm.

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You can then apply this knowledge to
yourself to create a new narrative.

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Having a new paradigm is the start.

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The next step is to build
your personal narrative.

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Once you understand the paradigm, you
can apply it to events in your own life

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and gain a new understanding of them.

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Not just the events, but also how you
reacted or did not react to those events.

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If you do, I suspect you'll have a far
less judgmental understanding of yourself.

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You'll become more curious about
who you are, how you are, and

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why you are the way you are.

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I invite you to keep this idea of
building your new narrative in mind

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as you listen through book one.

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In the written version, there are numerous
optional journal prompts to help you out.

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I'll also guide you through a
short and simple, uh, narrative

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writing exercise toward the end
of the written and audiobook.

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This self-regulation system phase
will involve reflecting on your past.

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It's pretty much unavoidable
in the trauma recovery journey.

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However, when and if you
do, it should be light.

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None of what I ask you to do in
these pages or soundbites, audio

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soundbites, involves detailed
accounts of your experiences.

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I have no goals of triggering
your past trauma or traumas and

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getting you to re-experience them.

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That would be counterproductive
at this point.

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So yeah, we reflect, but
keep it very, very light.

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Goals of book one.

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I have two goals for this book.

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Number one, I want you to learn
some new foundational pieces of

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knowledge and build a new paradigm,
uh, for mental health generally.

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Specifically, understanding the polyvagal
theory and its relationship to trauma.

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Number two, I want you to begin
applying the knowledge to your life.

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A new top-down narrative can
be validating and normalizing.

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But I don't want you to
rush into the second.

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It can be challenging as well,
and I want you to be very honest

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about your capacity to do so.

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As you read this and learn the
new paradigm, you will naturally

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apply it to yourself and form
a new narrative for your life.

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Pieces will fall into place.

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I hope they fall gently, like a
Tetris piece at the beginning of a

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new game, snugly fitting into its
exact fit at the bottom of the screen.

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However, the new pieces could
also come crashing down and

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stack chaotically if unprepared.

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I hope that Tetris analogy
is not lost on you.

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So be honest with yourself.

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Go at a pace that feels right.

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Challenging is okay.

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It's even a good thing.

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Triggered and out of control is not.

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OMG, I just wanna get unstuck.

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I know you're ready to get unstuck.

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You're ready for the next step.

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You want to know what to do.

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You want to know the hack, the trick.

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You wanna know how to reset your nervous
system, rewire your brain, consolidate

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your memories maybe, integrate your
parts, unveil your shadow, clear your

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ego, and whatever else is currently
popular in the world of psychology.

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So let's clarify this right
now as part of our paradigm.

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There is no hack.

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No quick fix.

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The TikTok vagal nerve
influencers are misguided and

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misinformed, to say the least.

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No, gargling is not the answer, nor is
a frozen bag of peas on your chest or

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craning your neck in awkward positions.

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I don't wanna dissuade you from your
path, but I also don't wanna provide empty

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promises of rapid change or quick fixes.

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Getting unstuck is work.

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I don't know how else to put it.

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This Self-regulation System
is a sustained practice with a

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paradigm shift at its center.

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Things can get better, yeah.

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You can begin implementing things
today to improve your life.

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Just by listening to this book and
learning a new paradigm, you may

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feel a small shift internally toward
more regulation or more goodness.

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You may feel more compassion and gratitude
for yourself now and regarding your past.

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So yeah, things can get better, and
little things can happen right away.

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But the trauma recovery
journey is a long one.

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It's a path that unfolds gradually,
revealing its next steps as you

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feel the impulse to move forward.

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This journey is about more
than just getting unstuck

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It's about relearning how to
experience the world and your emotions.

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It's about discovering a sense of safety
within yourself, and eventually about

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inviting discomfort with compassion.

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As you move through the three
Stuck Not Broken books, you'll

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have moments of profound insight
and challenging reflection.

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Trauma recovery is a process of
ebbing and flowing, of taking

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steps forward and sometimes
feeling like you're stepping back.

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Yes, you're going to feel like giving
up or like it's pointless to try.

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The trauma recovery journey
does not follow a straight path.

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There are obstacles along the way.

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These obstacles can come from old
patterns resurfacing, uh, unexpected

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triggers, or moments of self-doubt.

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Obstacles are not signs of failure,
but expectations of the journey.

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They may indicate progress.

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Each obstacle is also an opportunity
to apply the new skills and

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insights that you're learning.

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You'll learn to navigate moments
of discomfort, sit with difficult

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emotions without overwhelm, and
steadily get more and more unstuck.

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Right now, in this book, you're
embarking on the initial leg of

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your trauma recovery journey.

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Think of this phase as the beginning of
a long trek through varied landscapes.

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Just as a hiker would prepare by learning
the route and understanding the terrain,

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you do the same through book one.

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You're acquiring the knowledge
necessary for navigating the path ahead.

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00:22:00,021 --> 00:22:03,681
This foundational understanding of the
Polyvagal Theory and its application

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to trauma is like orienting yourself
with a map before setting out.

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You'll learn the direction to
go and landmarks to keep an

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eye out for on your journey.

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Book two and book three will provide you
with the tools necessary for your trip,

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building on the knowledge from book one.

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As you continue this journey,
remember that every step moves

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you forward, no matter how small.

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There will be times when the path
seems clear and progress feels

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effortless, and others when the
way is obscured and challenging.

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00:22:45,441 --> 00:22:50,081
But with each step, you move closer
to a deeper understanding of yourself,

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to healing, and to a life where
trauma no longer dictates your path.

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Next time, the autonomic nervous system.

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I will see you then.