1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,240 You're trying to get more done. 2 00:00:01,289 --> 00:00:05,160 Maybe you're an artist, uh, starting a new hobby, or just want to improve 3 00:00:05,160 --> 00:00:10,090 your work productivity, but it's hard to focus, you lack energy, or 4 00:00:10,139 --> 00:00:11,349 sometimes you just don't feel like it. 5 00:00:11,349 --> 00:00:16,349 The answer might be embracing your nervous system's potential in the present moment. 6 00:00:16,990 --> 00:00:17,560 Let me explain. 7 00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:21,230 Your nervous system serves as your body's communication and control center. 8 00:00:21,685 --> 00:00:24,635 It regulates automatic functions, things you don't have to think about 9 00:00:25,054 --> 00:00:30,484 like breathing and heartbeat while also supporting your thinking and decision 10 00:00:30,484 --> 00:00:32,774 making and your emotional regulation. 11 00:00:33,345 --> 00:00:36,564 Your nervous system can have different states or potentials that change 12 00:00:36,594 --> 00:00:38,865 throughout the day, moment to moment. 13 00:00:38,906 --> 00:00:42,136 Understanding the different states of your nervous system can help 14 00:00:42,136 --> 00:00:47,306 you to better manage your energy, focus, and even be more productive. 15 00:00:47,306 --> 00:00:51,406 I'll explore these three states and how to get the most benefit from each of them. 16 00:00:51,580 --> 00:00:53,250 Hey, my name is Justin Sunseri. 17 00:00:53,270 --> 00:00:55,830 I am a therapist and coach that wants to help you live with more 18 00:00:55,840 --> 00:01:00,570 calm, confidence, and connection without psychobabble or woo woo. 19 00:01:00,650 --> 00:01:02,220 Welcome to Stuck Not Broken. 20 00:01:02,220 --> 00:01:06,430 This podcast is not therapy, of course, nor is it intended to replace therapy. 21 00:01:08,874 --> 00:01:11,714 I'm going to give you a very brief understanding of what 22 00:01:11,724 --> 00:01:13,244 the Polyvagal Theory is. 23 00:01:13,244 --> 00:01:16,434 If you've never heard this before, this is not the place to start. 24 00:01:16,454 --> 00:01:18,694 I would actually go to episode 101 of my podcast. 25 00:01:18,694 --> 00:01:21,894 I'll have a link in the description for you for that whole playlist. 26 00:01:21,894 --> 00:01:26,124 It's a series of episodes that discusses these ideas or the 27 00:01:26,134 --> 00:01:28,834 autonomic states in a lot more detail. 28 00:01:28,834 --> 00:01:33,604 But basically for now, it's good enough to know that mammals can be 29 00:01:33,634 --> 00:01:36,154 in one of three different states. 30 00:01:36,504 --> 00:01:37,014 Basically. 31 00:01:37,014 --> 00:01:39,304 It's definitely more complex and we'll touch upon that. 32 00:01:39,374 --> 00:01:45,774 But basically mammals can be in a state of safety, of flight, fight, or of shutdown. 33 00:01:46,214 --> 00:01:51,544 In other words, they can be in a state of connection, mobility, or immobility. 34 00:01:52,344 --> 00:01:55,594 The safety state is all about connection to self, others, and environment. 35 00:01:56,154 --> 00:01:58,604 The mobility state is about flight and fight. 36 00:01:59,124 --> 00:02:02,854 And the immobility state shutdown is about, well, immobilizing. 37 00:02:02,854 --> 00:02:06,294 It's about playing dead in the face of a life threat. 38 00:02:06,481 --> 00:02:08,271 Those are the three basic states. 39 00:02:08,761 --> 00:02:11,681 These states can also combine and create mixed states. 40 00:02:11,681 --> 00:02:15,021 Just like if you were to combine the primary colors, they create mixed 41 00:02:15,061 --> 00:02:17,631 colors like red and blue equal purple. 42 00:02:17,911 --> 00:02:18,741 Same thing here. 43 00:02:18,871 --> 00:02:25,561 So if you combine safety plus flight fight, that's connection plus mobility, 44 00:02:25,991 --> 00:02:28,691 that results in a mixed state called play. 45 00:02:29,251 --> 00:02:34,331 Safety plus shutdown, so safety plus immobility equals stillness. 46 00:02:34,931 --> 00:02:39,591 That's the ability to be alone and immobile and be okay with it. 47 00:02:39,973 --> 00:02:43,863 But you can also combine flight fight mobility with shutdown 48 00:02:43,963 --> 00:02:46,813 immobility, resulting in freeze. 49 00:02:47,053 --> 00:02:50,413 That's where you're charged up, but immobile at the same time. 50 00:02:50,413 --> 00:02:54,113 So it's like having the gas on in the car, the accelerator, 51 00:02:54,113 --> 00:02:56,193 plus the brake at the same time. 52 00:02:56,193 --> 00:02:58,013 The wheels just, just spin. 53 00:02:58,013 --> 00:03:03,433 All of these primary and mixed states come from biological pathways. 54 00:03:03,433 --> 00:03:06,193 It's not just like feelings that we have floating around inside of us. 55 00:03:06,803 --> 00:03:10,513 These emotions, these different thoughts that we have, all come 56 00:03:10,773 --> 00:03:12,483 from the state of our body. 57 00:03:12,483 --> 00:03:15,013 And we can feel these states when they're active. 58 00:03:15,293 --> 00:03:16,803 It's not a random guessing game. 59 00:03:17,183 --> 00:03:20,463 We can actually feel them when they're there if we're mindful enough. 60 00:03:20,463 --> 00:03:22,993 And so that's what I want to talk about here is how can we notice 61 00:03:22,993 --> 00:03:27,923 when they're active and get the most benefit from them while they're active. 62 00:03:27,923 --> 00:03:30,393 The first one we'll start with is the safety state. 63 00:03:30,943 --> 00:03:33,273 The safety state is connected to the ventral vagal 64 00:03:33,273 --> 00:03:35,173 pathways from your brainstem. 65 00:03:35,173 --> 00:03:38,653 The safety state is all about connection to self, others, and environment. 66 00:03:38,883 --> 00:03:40,783 It's known as the social engagement system. 67 00:03:41,043 --> 00:03:44,183 When this state is active, we can do things like make eye contact. 68 00:03:44,183 --> 00:03:44,893 We can smile. 69 00:03:44,903 --> 00:03:45,373 We can hug. 70 00:03:45,373 --> 00:03:46,303 We can be close to each other. 71 00:03:46,303 --> 00:03:47,453 Use gentle contacts. 72 00:03:48,143 --> 00:03:51,063 If you don't have the safety state active, you can't really do those things. 73 00:03:51,073 --> 00:03:53,393 Or if you do, it won't feel good. 74 00:03:53,403 --> 00:03:54,343 It won't feel safe. 75 00:03:54,343 --> 00:03:58,943 The safety state is active when we have safe people and safe places or safe 76 00:03:58,943 --> 00:04:00,983 enough people and safe enough places. 77 00:04:01,463 --> 00:04:05,133 The safety state is ideal for creativity and connection, 78 00:04:05,643 --> 00:04:07,973 optimal performance, productivity. 79 00:04:08,363 --> 00:04:12,668 When we have enough access to our safety state, that enables us to 80 00:04:12,678 --> 00:04:15,078 accomplish a wider variety of things. 81 00:04:15,078 --> 00:04:19,448 We can think critically, we can weigh pros and cons, we can map out like an 82 00:04:19,448 --> 00:04:23,878 agenda on how to accomplish a project, we can work with others really well, we can 83 00:04:24,258 --> 00:04:28,398 hear what they think and what they feel with empathy and share what we think and 84 00:04:28,398 --> 00:04:34,938 feel and come to a shared compromise or negotiation, uh, and to meet our goals. 85 00:04:35,738 --> 00:04:38,778 We could also plan out what's the right kind of colors that we want 86 00:04:38,778 --> 00:04:42,768 to use to create a certain- to mix, to create a certain color in 87 00:04:42,768 --> 00:04:43,968 a painting that we're doing, maybe. 88 00:04:44,438 --> 00:04:48,958 We can think about what's the, what's the optimal way to edit the words 89 00:04:49,238 --> 00:04:51,538 in a book to get a point across. 90 00:04:51,928 --> 00:04:57,698 From safety, we have a lot of access to critical thinking, but also to the 91 00:04:57,698 --> 00:05:00,278 present moment and connecting with ourselves, connecting with others. 92 00:05:00,568 --> 00:05:03,308 So we have access to thought, but also to emotion as well. 93 00:05:03,308 --> 00:05:06,638 So ideally when it comes to productivity, creativity, and getting 94 00:05:06,638 --> 00:05:10,168 stuff done, we want to have as much access to safety as possible. 95 00:05:10,458 --> 00:05:14,888 That doesn't mean that we're meditating and our eyes are closed and we're in that, 96 00:05:14,928 --> 00:05:17,278 you know, cross legged meditation pose. 97 00:05:17,398 --> 00:05:18,488 No, that's not what it means at all. 98 00:05:18,988 --> 00:05:21,318 As long as we have enough access to safety, we can simply 99 00:05:21,318 --> 00:05:23,328 focus and get stuff done. 100 00:05:23,328 --> 00:05:24,698 Okay, so how do you get to your safety state? 101 00:05:24,738 --> 00:05:26,488 That's the next question, and it's a good question. 102 00:05:27,038 --> 00:05:30,078 There's a couple things you can do that are predictably 103 00:05:30,078 --> 00:05:31,938 going to equal more safety. 104 00:05:32,468 --> 00:05:34,848 What it looks like for you is not a guarantee, is not a, 105 00:05:34,878 --> 00:05:36,058 there's no prescription for this. 106 00:05:36,058 --> 00:05:39,598 I don't know what you should do in particular to get your safety state, 107 00:05:40,268 --> 00:05:43,248 but generally there are some pretty predictable things that you can do. 108 00:05:43,298 --> 00:05:45,918 Number one is to extend your exhale. 109 00:05:46,248 --> 00:05:49,018 No matter what state you're in, if you can, be mindful of your 110 00:05:49,018 --> 00:05:50,548 inhale, but when you exhale. 111 00:05:50,938 --> 00:05:52,718 Extended a little bit longer. 112 00:05:52,848 --> 00:05:55,788 When you do that, it triggers the parasympathetic nervous system. 113 00:05:56,128 --> 00:05:57,828 And that's where the safety state lives. 114 00:05:58,228 --> 00:06:01,098 So, extend that exhale and that'll help you to settle into 115 00:06:01,108 --> 00:06:02,588 the present moment a bit more. 116 00:06:02,588 --> 00:06:06,068 While you extend that exhale, I like to recommend to my clients, that's a 117 00:06:06,068 --> 00:06:09,818 good time to like say something nice to yourself, or that's a good time to 118 00:06:09,818 --> 00:06:11,238 remind yourself what you're working on. 119 00:06:11,432 --> 00:06:15,018 When you extend your exhale, just add a little something else onto 120 00:06:15,018 --> 00:06:16,548 it, like, like a kind word or two. 121 00:06:16,548 --> 00:06:19,898 The other thing that can generally help and get into more safety and 122 00:06:19,898 --> 00:06:23,588 to connect to the present moment is to be more mindful of your 123 00:06:23,588 --> 00:06:25,658 movements and of your sensory input. 124 00:06:26,338 --> 00:06:29,028 So whatever you're doing right now, be mindful of it. 125 00:06:29,098 --> 00:06:33,178 You can also consciously choose to do something like go for a walk, uh, and 126 00:06:33,178 --> 00:06:36,923 then be aware of, uh, the movement of the walk, but if you're painting something, 127 00:06:37,363 --> 00:06:41,073 you can also be aware of the movement of your arm while you're painting of 128 00:06:41,073 --> 00:06:45,233 your elbow, of your shoulder, if you're sketching something furiously or slowly, 129 00:06:45,663 --> 00:06:47,433 you can be mindful of that movement. 130 00:06:47,433 --> 00:06:48,333 Likewise- 131 00:06:48,403 --> 00:06:51,723 and even while you're doing that, you can be mindful of the sensory input. 132 00:06:51,723 --> 00:06:55,133 So what's the vibrancy, what's the color of the paint that you're using. 133 00:06:55,903 --> 00:06:59,273 What's the sensory input when you're going out for a walk or exercising. 134 00:06:59,703 --> 00:07:02,923 What does it feel like to flex and release? 135 00:07:03,443 --> 00:07:04,573 What do you smell around you? 136 00:07:04,573 --> 00:07:05,243 What do you hear? 137 00:07:05,613 --> 00:07:06,303 What do you see? 138 00:07:06,313 --> 00:07:07,563 All those sensory input things. 139 00:07:07,573 --> 00:07:11,673 Be more mindful of those, and that can help settle into the present moment 140 00:07:12,003 --> 00:07:13,683 and settle into your safety state. 141 00:07:13,683 --> 00:07:15,603 Now, I don't expect you to stop what you're doing and go for a 142 00:07:15,603 --> 00:07:18,453 walk in a forest or, or, or a hike. 143 00:07:19,073 --> 00:07:24,253 But You can definitely include elements of nature into your daily routine. 144 00:07:24,287 --> 00:07:28,047 A really easy one is to open your blinds and look outside. 145 00:07:28,437 --> 00:07:30,767 Open your blinds and let natural sunlight come in. 146 00:07:31,277 --> 00:07:34,357 If you can, sit by a window and look at outside while you work. 147 00:07:34,377 --> 00:07:35,367 I personally love to do that. 148 00:07:36,117 --> 00:07:38,587 You can have elements of nature through sound. 149 00:07:38,737 --> 00:07:40,727 I personally like the sound of rain. 150 00:07:40,987 --> 00:07:44,767 So while I'm working in, especially if I'm like slower paced or just really 151 00:07:44,767 --> 00:07:48,467 settling into slowness and stillness, I like to have rain on in the background. 152 00:07:48,467 --> 00:07:49,817 It just helps ground me. 153 00:07:50,757 --> 00:07:51,967 You could also use smell. 154 00:07:52,027 --> 00:07:54,987 If you have a candle that has the smell of the forest. 155 00:07:55,447 --> 00:07:58,757 Yeah, it's not the forest, but you're now you're a step closer to 156 00:07:58,757 --> 00:08:00,617 the sensory inputs of the forest. 157 00:08:00,617 --> 00:08:02,977 The other idea is to connect with safe others. 158 00:08:03,297 --> 00:08:06,937 You don't have to be best friends with everyone you work with, but 159 00:08:07,497 --> 00:08:09,297 can you exchange a smile with them? 160 00:08:09,337 --> 00:08:10,047 Yeah, probably. 161 00:08:10,507 --> 00:08:12,547 Can you exchange some chit chat about the weekend? 162 00:08:12,557 --> 00:08:15,207 I hate it personally, but there's some benefit to that. 163 00:08:15,657 --> 00:08:19,367 There's benefit to seeing smiles and hearing the vocal prosody in 164 00:08:19,367 --> 00:08:22,467 someone's voice when they have a, when they're in their safe enough state, 165 00:08:23,007 --> 00:08:24,387 they'll do something with their voice. 166 00:08:24,397 --> 00:08:25,667 It's just, just naturally. 167 00:08:26,077 --> 00:08:30,802 It's the sing song quality that we have where we can go down, but also up 168 00:08:30,942 --> 00:08:33,492 and we can do everything in between. 169 00:08:33,612 --> 00:08:34,902 That's called vocal prosody. 170 00:08:35,342 --> 00:08:38,532 And when we hear that, it automatically kicks us into our 171 00:08:38,542 --> 00:08:40,262 safety state a little bit more. 172 00:08:40,942 --> 00:08:44,787 So yeah, I agree- chit chatting about the weekend is painful, but there's a lot of 173 00:08:44,787 --> 00:08:47,207 benefit to interacting with a safe other. 174 00:08:47,207 --> 00:08:47,447 Okay. 175 00:08:47,447 --> 00:08:51,197 So maybe you work by yourself and you don't interact with other people. 176 00:08:51,237 --> 00:08:53,607 Well, first off, get the heck out of the house as much as you can. 177 00:08:54,127 --> 00:08:58,477 And smile at somebody at Starbucks or wherever you go, or on your 178 00:08:58,477 --> 00:09:01,477 walk around the block, smile at someone, say hello, hear their voice. 179 00:09:02,467 --> 00:09:05,337 If you can't do that, well, you probably listen to music. 180 00:09:05,397 --> 00:09:08,077 Can you hear the voice of the person who you're listening to? 181 00:09:08,107 --> 00:09:08,487 Yeah. 182 00:09:08,997 --> 00:09:12,567 If it's rap, if it's heavy metal, that is less than ideal cause there's 183 00:09:12,577 --> 00:09:14,637 screaming and a lot of monotone voices. 184 00:09:14,993 --> 00:09:17,613 Uh, if you, if you could listen to something like the Beach Boys 185 00:09:17,613 --> 00:09:21,373 or Etta James, that has way more vocal prosody, and that might help 186 00:09:21,373 --> 00:09:23,673 kick you into your safety state. 187 00:09:24,093 --> 00:09:28,803 Likewise, on a break, when you listen to podcasts or YouTube videos like this one, 188 00:09:29,393 --> 00:09:32,593 can you connect with the person's voice? 189 00:09:32,623 --> 00:09:34,353 Can you hear the safety in their voice? 190 00:09:34,403 --> 00:09:38,683 Can you see their face and see how that, or mindfully recognize 191 00:09:38,693 --> 00:09:39,873 how that feels within you? 192 00:09:39,873 --> 00:09:42,373 You don't have to have the perfect natural environment. 193 00:09:42,373 --> 00:09:45,693 You don't have to have the extremely supportive and co 194 00:09:45,693 --> 00:09:47,163 regulative person there with you. 195 00:09:47,343 --> 00:09:51,293 There are elements of these things you can incorporate into your workday or 196 00:09:51,293 --> 00:09:55,923 into your creative process to help you feel a little bit safer than before. 197 00:09:55,923 --> 00:09:57,923 So how the heck do you know when you're in your safety state? 198 00:09:58,883 --> 00:09:59,373 You'll feel it. 199 00:10:00,253 --> 00:10:01,533 Emotionally, you'll feel it. 200 00:10:01,583 --> 00:10:04,373 It feels, it can feel like calm. 201 00:10:04,813 --> 00:10:06,423 It can feel like relaxation. 202 00:10:06,443 --> 00:10:09,233 It can also feel like excitement and productivity. 203 00:10:09,863 --> 00:10:11,703 It can feel like curiosity. 204 00:10:11,713 --> 00:10:13,013 It can feel like interest. 205 00:10:13,283 --> 00:10:17,333 All of these things pretty much involve you being connected to the present moment. 206 00:10:18,013 --> 00:10:21,023 If you can pause and look out of your blind or outside of your 207 00:10:21,023 --> 00:10:24,603 window and just take in the present moment, you're in your safety state. 208 00:10:24,713 --> 00:10:27,033 If you're thinking critically and planning things out for a project, 209 00:10:27,548 --> 00:10:28,568 you're in your safety state. 210 00:10:29,208 --> 00:10:32,718 So feeling is one way, but as I touched upon already, thought is another way. 211 00:10:33,248 --> 00:10:36,478 Thinking critically, weighing pros and cons, uh, planning 212 00:10:36,478 --> 00:10:37,828 out step by step processes. 213 00:10:38,333 --> 00:10:41,593 Then I'm all involves some level of safety state, and that's a really 214 00:10:41,593 --> 00:10:42,983 good way to recognize it as well. 215 00:10:42,983 --> 00:10:44,183 Okay, that was safety. 216 00:10:45,213 --> 00:10:48,833 Now let's shift over to sympathetic activation, which you probably 217 00:10:48,833 --> 00:10:50,343 know as flight or fight. 218 00:10:50,403 --> 00:10:53,103 It's not that simple, but you probably know it as that. 219 00:10:53,523 --> 00:10:56,013 The sympathetic state comes from the sympathetic nervous system. 220 00:10:56,463 --> 00:11:01,933 And I want you to associate this not with flight or fight, but with mobility, 221 00:11:02,653 --> 00:11:05,213 sympathetic nervous system and mobility. 222 00:11:05,243 --> 00:11:10,143 Flight or fight is a possibility when we don't have access to literal safety. 223 00:11:10,783 --> 00:11:14,213 When we're in an actually dangerous scenario, then yeah, flight or 224 00:11:14,213 --> 00:11:18,233 fight becomes extremely relevant and your body will utilize that. 225 00:11:18,943 --> 00:11:22,883 In that moment though, the body is not accessing its own safety state 226 00:11:22,993 --> 00:11:25,543 because of the needs of the environment. 227 00:11:25,553 --> 00:11:28,123 It needs to run away or be aggressive. 228 00:11:28,998 --> 00:11:34,598 But when we have enough safety in the system, we can also utilize mobility 229 00:11:34,758 --> 00:11:37,128 from the sympathetic nervous system. 230 00:11:37,578 --> 00:11:41,068 So look at this as when we're in an actual danger, yeah, flight or fight. 231 00:11:41,833 --> 00:11:46,123 When we have safety in our system, plus sympathetic, that combines 232 00:11:46,553 --> 00:11:50,633 to create playfulness, creativity, productivity, motivation. 233 00:11:51,363 --> 00:11:54,283 It's a lot different than flight or fight, which is about getting 234 00:11:54,283 --> 00:11:55,953 away or being aggressive. 235 00:11:56,373 --> 00:11:57,733 We want mobility. 236 00:11:57,753 --> 00:11:59,933 We want motivation, creativity, productivity. 237 00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:00,738 That's different. 238 00:12:00,738 --> 00:12:04,938 The sympathetic state is really useful when it comes to productivity, 239 00:12:04,938 --> 00:12:06,188 motivation and creativity. 240 00:12:06,618 --> 00:12:12,068 It's great for these like short bursts of creativity or productivity, but also 241 00:12:12,198 --> 00:12:14,748 just drawn out longer extended periods. 242 00:12:15,258 --> 00:12:19,843 When you have those short bursts, that's probably a lot of sympathetic 243 00:12:19,843 --> 00:12:22,933 flight fight coming up, or a lot of sympathetic mobility coming up that 244 00:12:22,963 --> 00:12:26,813 you just use all at once, uh, probably with powerful movements, like if you're 245 00:12:26,813 --> 00:12:31,183 painting, you're going to be using stronger, more forceful brushstrokes. 246 00:12:31,183 --> 00:12:32,953 You might be splashing things on the canvas. 247 00:12:32,953 --> 00:12:35,873 If you're sketching, you're going to be moving your hand, wrist, 248 00:12:36,273 --> 00:12:37,593 elbow, and shoulder faster. 249 00:12:38,283 --> 00:12:41,593 When you're creating something for work, you're going to be getting 250 00:12:41,593 --> 00:12:42,863 a ton of work done all at once. 251 00:12:42,873 --> 00:12:44,753 You're going to be type, type, type, typing heck of fast. 252 00:12:46,113 --> 00:12:46,953 And that's, that's great. 253 00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:53,583 But we also want longer drawn out periods of motivation. 254 00:12:53,783 --> 00:12:59,463 And that comes from your safety state being active more along with your 255 00:12:59,463 --> 00:13:03,363 sympathetic state that comes from those two things, balancing each other out. 256 00:13:03,393 --> 00:13:06,753 And you'll have this, this longer period of pro productivity 257 00:13:06,753 --> 00:13:07,793 that's more sustainable. 258 00:13:08,153 --> 00:13:11,083 Otherwise, if you have less safety in your system, then you're going to be 259 00:13:11,083 --> 00:13:17,038 having these bursts and then perhaps collapsing into a shutdown, which we'll 260 00:13:17,128 --> 00:13:21,098 talk about next, but it might be like a burst of sympathetic and then shutting 261 00:13:21,098 --> 00:13:22,688 down and then burst and shutting down. 262 00:13:22,878 --> 00:13:26,298 A lot of good can come from that, but we want, we want to have more safety 263 00:13:26,298 --> 00:13:29,878 and just draw that process out and draw out that motivation and that 264 00:13:29,878 --> 00:13:31,128 productivity and that creativity. 265 00:13:31,128 --> 00:13:34,368 If you don't have safety in your system, it's going to be more scattered. 266 00:13:34,368 --> 00:13:39,348 Your ideas, your inspiration will kind of pop up here and there, but it's not as 267 00:13:39,488 --> 00:13:42,178 predictable and you'll have less control. 268 00:13:42,418 --> 00:13:46,338 I don't like using that word in a sense, but it'll feel less in control and 269 00:13:46,338 --> 00:13:48,398 feel more out of control, be sporadic. 270 00:13:48,858 --> 00:13:52,548 And then when it's there, you'll try and capture it and make the most out of it. 271 00:13:52,598 --> 00:13:53,538 And there's nothing wrong with that. 272 00:13:53,548 --> 00:13:57,788 But with more safety in your system, it's It won't be as sporadic. 273 00:13:57,848 --> 00:14:00,448 You'll have more intentionality over it. 274 00:14:00,448 --> 00:14:03,758 So how do you intentionally use your sympathetic nervous system, 275 00:14:03,758 --> 00:14:07,578 your mobility, in order to be more productive and more creative? 276 00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:10,868 One option, which you're probably doing already, and look, I've been 277 00:14:10,868 --> 00:14:13,038 there too, is procrastination. 278 00:14:13,208 --> 00:14:16,758 The longer you wait, the more it builds up, and eventually you 279 00:14:16,798 --> 00:14:18,468 just gotta get the thing done. 280 00:14:18,488 --> 00:14:20,978 You just have to use your mobility. 281 00:14:21,068 --> 00:14:21,618 No shame. 282 00:14:22,088 --> 00:14:26,348 I've gotten through a lot of my life this way, and it definitely has its usefulness. 283 00:14:26,378 --> 00:14:28,858 And some of us just say, well, that's how I get stuff done. 284 00:14:29,188 --> 00:14:29,758 It is what it is. 285 00:14:29,768 --> 00:14:29,998 Fine. 286 00:14:29,998 --> 00:14:30,728 That's, that's an option. 287 00:14:31,038 --> 00:14:34,668 You just wait around until that sympathetic energy builds so 288 00:14:34,668 --> 00:14:38,008 much that you complete whatever the heck you're working on. 289 00:14:38,008 --> 00:14:44,898 The other one that I recommend more is to have more structure with goals and 290 00:14:44,898 --> 00:14:51,868 to funnel your energy toward a specific direction toward your goal or goals. 291 00:14:52,338 --> 00:14:58,128 So instead of waiting for the deadline and then, you know, using that procrastination 292 00:14:58,128 --> 00:15:04,778 energy to get the thing done, can you do a little bit each day toward that goal? 293 00:15:04,788 --> 00:15:06,318 Like, yeah, you probably can. 294 00:15:06,978 --> 00:15:07,448 Will you? 295 00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:09,848 Well, that's, that's another discussion. 296 00:15:10,038 --> 00:15:13,168 If you have more safety in your system, I think you're more likely to do that. 297 00:15:13,658 --> 00:15:18,878 If you're more leaning into defensive activation, more flight fight, or more, 298 00:15:18,878 --> 00:15:22,928 even more shutdown, you're probably not going to be doing that as much. 299 00:15:23,458 --> 00:15:26,538 So this really comes down to how much you're practicing 300 00:15:26,818 --> 00:15:27,908 being in your safety state. 301 00:15:28,498 --> 00:15:30,368 And then how much of that are you bringing over to your 302 00:15:30,368 --> 00:15:32,018 creative and productive process? 303 00:15:32,018 --> 00:15:32,178 Okay. 304 00:15:32,178 --> 00:15:34,438 So the first option is procrastination. 305 00:15:34,508 --> 00:15:39,158 Second option is get a little bit done each day toward your bigger goal. 306 00:15:39,417 --> 00:15:44,867 And within that second option, you can set small to medium achievements. 307 00:15:44,877 --> 00:15:46,027 So there's the big goal. 308 00:15:46,027 --> 00:15:48,597 Like I want to complete this painting or I want to complete 309 00:15:48,597 --> 00:15:50,357 this, uh, slideshow presentation. 310 00:15:50,367 --> 00:15:51,637 That's the big goal, but. 311 00:15:52,007 --> 00:15:57,207 Day to day, you could have achievements that you set toward that bigger goal. 312 00:15:57,367 --> 00:16:00,517 So my bigger goal is a PowerPoint presentation. 313 00:16:01,237 --> 00:16:03,917 Well, I have to figure out what's the design that I like. 314 00:16:03,927 --> 00:16:04,747 That's an achievement. 315 00:16:04,757 --> 00:16:07,687 What font, what color am I pulled towards? 316 00:16:08,187 --> 00:16:10,977 If I know that that works toward the bigger goal. 317 00:16:11,557 --> 00:16:15,517 So instead of sitting down and focusing on how do I achieve my big goal, 318 00:16:16,207 --> 00:16:19,787 it's more about how can I achieve my achievement, the font, the color. 319 00:16:20,167 --> 00:16:21,697 Do I have enough sources? 320 00:16:21,747 --> 00:16:24,257 Do I have the number of slides layout? 321 00:16:24,267 --> 00:16:25,907 Have I planned how long is this going to be? 322 00:16:26,387 --> 00:16:29,787 If you can start making a list of things, those achievements and knocking 323 00:16:29,787 --> 00:16:32,717 them off, well, all of a sudden you're making progress toward the bigger goal. 324 00:16:32,717 --> 00:16:36,397 If you don't have that and you sit down to work and all you have 325 00:16:36,397 --> 00:16:39,577 is sympathetic activation, that's going to go here and there and 326 00:16:39,577 --> 00:16:40,967 everywhere you're gonna be distracted. 327 00:16:41,627 --> 00:16:45,807 You're going to be pulled in numerous directions, and that's an option, 328 00:16:46,257 --> 00:16:51,357 but I would encourage you to set your achievement list and start knocking 329 00:16:51,357 --> 00:16:53,267 those things off toward your bigger goal. 330 00:16:53,267 --> 00:16:54,547 It creates this funnel. 331 00:16:54,547 --> 00:16:57,557 It creates an avenue toward completing your goal. 332 00:16:57,557 --> 00:17:02,247 In my mind, it's the image of Luke in the X Wing who is, uh, he's 333 00:17:02,247 --> 00:17:07,017 about to blow up the Death Star, and he goes, he flies down into that 334 00:17:07,897 --> 00:17:08,907 that ravine, what do you call it? 335 00:17:08,907 --> 00:17:09,547 It's a funnel. 336 00:17:09,767 --> 00:17:10,957 It's a tunnel. 337 00:17:10,967 --> 00:17:11,707 I'm not sure what to call it. 338 00:17:12,007 --> 00:17:13,747 If you're a Star Wars geek, tell me what the heck it's called. 339 00:17:13,867 --> 00:17:14,477 I forget what it's called. 340 00:17:15,077 --> 00:17:16,937 But he flies down into the trench. 341 00:17:17,007 --> 00:17:17,507 Oh my god. 342 00:17:17,887 --> 00:17:19,417 He flies down into the trench. 343 00:17:19,897 --> 00:17:21,677 Before the trench, he didn't know where to go. 344 00:17:21,997 --> 00:17:23,197 He's just flying out in space. 345 00:17:23,197 --> 00:17:24,457 He could literally go anywhere. 346 00:17:25,017 --> 00:17:28,757 But once he knows the goal, which is blowing up the Death Star through that 347 00:17:28,777 --> 00:17:32,887 ventilation shaft, which is connected to the trench, he flies into the trench, he 348 00:17:32,887 --> 00:17:37,717 flies through the trench and then fires his missile into the, the, uh, ventilation 349 00:17:37,717 --> 00:17:39,147 shaft and blows up the Death Star, right? 350 00:17:39,407 --> 00:17:47,247 So that trench funnels, ,his energy, his activation toward one specific goal. 351 00:17:47,267 --> 00:17:51,487 You can do that every day and you can do that every day toward a larger goal, like 352 00:17:51,517 --> 00:17:53,787 a painting or a slideshow presentation. 353 00:17:53,787 --> 00:17:56,907 So while you're working, let's say you have the big goal and you have 354 00:17:56,907 --> 00:17:59,837 your achievements list and you're working at it, but then you notice 355 00:17:59,837 --> 00:18:01,407 you're pulled this way and that way. 356 00:18:02,172 --> 00:18:08,502 I think music, when you're in a sympathetic state, is really helpful. 357 00:18:08,932 --> 00:18:11,972 Again, it just kind of helps to focus your energies. 358 00:18:12,637 --> 00:18:14,837 In the present moment toward a specific direction. 359 00:18:15,417 --> 00:18:18,507 You could use music as a way to get up and dance out your energy, 360 00:18:18,687 --> 00:18:20,317 sit down, and then focus better. 361 00:18:20,867 --> 00:18:23,317 Um, but you could also use it as like a beat. 362 00:18:23,427 --> 00:18:24,867 It's the rhythm to get stuff done. 363 00:18:25,287 --> 00:18:28,957 I personally love listening to chill hop when I'm trying to focus, 364 00:18:29,277 --> 00:18:31,367 but I'm also kind of amped up. 365 00:18:31,882 --> 00:18:35,512 Chill hop has a beat, there's no vocals, it's just music. 366 00:18:35,612 --> 00:18:38,642 And there's this really cool, like little sounds that are often implemented 367 00:18:38,642 --> 00:18:40,082 into it, like sounds of nature. 368 00:18:40,652 --> 00:18:44,532 Um, but it also has the beat and it has this lo fi crackly sound, which 369 00:18:44,542 --> 00:18:45,992 I personally find really soothing. 370 00:18:46,942 --> 00:18:51,602 When I have energy and chill hop, I noticed that I'm way more focused and 371 00:18:51,602 --> 00:18:54,522 get way more done versus not having that. 372 00:18:54,522 --> 00:18:56,922 So listen to the music that helps you focus. 373 00:18:56,922 --> 00:18:57,612 Same thing. 374 00:18:57,662 --> 00:19:02,047 If you're working out, you know, what music works for you to help you focus and 375 00:19:02,047 --> 00:19:05,317 to help you stay down that trench, right? 376 00:19:05,617 --> 00:19:07,647 You know, what music helps you do that. 377 00:19:07,657 --> 00:19:07,997 For me? 378 00:19:07,997 --> 00:19:12,057 Rap music does not help me whatsoever to work out. 379 00:19:12,137 --> 00:19:14,107 Heavy metal music that helps me out. 380 00:19:14,147 --> 00:19:18,537 You'll know that you have access to your sympathetic state because it'll feel like. 381 00:19:18,902 --> 00:19:23,092 Anxiety, you might feel like anger, but that's without enough safety. 382 00:19:23,122 --> 00:19:25,382 So we want mobility with safety. 383 00:19:25,382 --> 00:19:31,252 So feel mindfully or look out for mindfully increased heart rates, 384 00:19:31,652 --> 00:19:34,072 some muscle tension, rapid breathing. 385 00:19:34,322 --> 00:19:36,892 If your thoughts are going all over the place, these are pretty good 386 00:19:36,902 --> 00:19:41,362 ways of telling that you have more sympathetic activation, more mobility 387 00:19:41,362 --> 00:19:43,972 in your system than you do to safety. 388 00:19:43,972 --> 00:19:45,542 We just want to balance those things out. 389 00:19:46,072 --> 00:19:49,412 So the first thing to do might be put music on, set an agenda 390 00:19:49,442 --> 00:19:51,262 for yourself and see how it goes. 391 00:19:51,702 --> 00:19:55,832 If it's still too much, get up and move, let out some of that energy and 392 00:19:55,832 --> 00:19:57,132 just kind of bring it down a notch. 393 00:19:57,762 --> 00:20:00,792 If you could do that, even mindfully, like if you go out for a walk to get 394 00:20:00,792 --> 00:20:03,152 some energy out, mindfully do it. 395 00:20:03,222 --> 00:20:08,572 Listen, look, smell all the, use your senses, smile at people, pet a dog, if 396 00:20:08,572 --> 00:20:13,032 you can not a stray one, ask permission, if it's, if it belongs to somebody else. 397 00:20:13,492 --> 00:20:18,612 But do these things to help your mobilization come down enough and your 398 00:20:18,612 --> 00:20:24,072 safety state to come up enough to balance out, then sit down with your achievements 399 00:20:24,072 --> 00:20:28,217 agenda with your bigger goal in mind and start knocking stuff off your list. 400 00:20:28,217 --> 00:20:30,197 So we got safety and we got sympathetic. 401 00:20:30,387 --> 00:20:34,287 Now let's look at the third primary state, which is shutdown. 402 00:20:34,287 --> 00:20:35,997 Shutdown occurs when we can't be safe. 403 00:20:35,997 --> 00:20:36,637 We can't run away. 404 00:20:36,637 --> 00:20:37,367 We can't fight. 405 00:20:37,907 --> 00:20:39,097 So the body goes into shutdown. 406 00:20:39,097 --> 00:20:40,577 It collapses. 407 00:20:40,637 --> 00:20:43,447 It plays dead basically in the face of a life threat. 408 00:20:44,242 --> 00:20:47,362 This is a necessary component of being alive. 409 00:20:48,282 --> 00:20:53,402 All of us, all organisms have some level of immobility which has helped them to 410 00:20:53,402 --> 00:20:58,622 survive over generations and generations and generations, passing their genetic 411 00:20:58,622 --> 00:21:04,532 material along to the next generation, which then uses it to survive and so on. 412 00:21:04,532 --> 00:21:06,752 So just normalize that it's a part of you. 413 00:21:06,762 --> 00:21:07,432 It's a part of me. 414 00:21:07,442 --> 00:21:08,322 It's a part of all of us. 415 00:21:08,332 --> 00:21:09,582 It's normal and it's okay. 416 00:21:09,782 --> 00:21:12,462 And we can actually use this to our advantage in our day to day life. 417 00:21:12,462 --> 00:21:16,552 I want you to view shutdown not as defeat and not as a defect. 418 00:21:17,012 --> 00:21:18,322 It's a necessary component. 419 00:21:18,782 --> 00:21:23,817 It is there because we need to collapse in our day to day life. 420 00:21:24,517 --> 00:21:27,197 We need to collapse and we need to restore. 421 00:21:27,477 --> 00:21:32,547 We need to get ready for the next day or the next project. 422 00:21:33,127 --> 00:21:37,407 It's an opportunity to rest and to reconnect with ourselves and with our 423 00:21:37,407 --> 00:21:38,707 environment and maybe with others. 424 00:21:38,717 --> 00:21:39,647 It's an opportunity. 425 00:21:39,967 --> 00:21:41,007 It's not defeat. 426 00:21:41,007 --> 00:21:43,987 So you've had a wonderful day of productivity, hopefully, 427 00:21:43,997 --> 00:21:45,017 or maybe a bad one, but. 428 00:21:45,362 --> 00:21:49,402 You've had a day of productivity at the end of the day, you need to collapse. 429 00:21:49,402 --> 00:21:50,872 You need to shut down maybe. 430 00:21:50,922 --> 00:21:54,122 When you do that, it prepares you for the next day. 431 00:21:54,492 --> 00:21:59,222 Think of this as a necessary component of your productivity or creativity cycle. 432 00:21:59,702 --> 00:22:01,942 We have to have periods of downtime. 433 00:22:02,292 --> 00:22:05,932 We have to have periods of rest and reconnection. 434 00:22:06,122 --> 00:22:06,922 That's all this is. 435 00:22:06,922 --> 00:22:10,682 You might spend a lot of time in shutdown and it looks like depression. 436 00:22:10,772 --> 00:22:12,032 I would say it is depression. 437 00:22:12,492 --> 00:22:16,612 You might spend a lot of time isolating yourself and okay, that's fine. 438 00:22:16,642 --> 00:22:17,112 That's fair. 439 00:22:17,592 --> 00:22:22,202 What that tells me is that you or all of us, if we're in the state, 440 00:22:22,962 --> 00:22:27,302 we need to listen to our body's needs, also incorporate more elements 441 00:22:27,302 --> 00:22:28,932 of safety into our daily life. 442 00:22:29,372 --> 00:22:33,472 And that might just be reconnecting using our senses to the external environment. 443 00:22:33,472 --> 00:22:35,642 If you have a lot of shutdown in your system, you probably 444 00:22:35,642 --> 00:22:37,642 need lower stimulation. 445 00:22:37,852 --> 00:22:42,032 You probably need more alone time, and you probably need to reconnect to the 446 00:22:42,052 --> 00:22:43,892 external environment using your senses. 447 00:22:44,812 --> 00:22:50,822 As you allow for that and give yourself true moments of recovery, not phone 448 00:22:50,822 --> 00:22:56,752 binging, not food, binging, not drugs, not fake it till you make it. 449 00:22:56,762 --> 00:22:57,082 I don't know. 450 00:22:57,082 --> 00:22:57,942 Not none of that stuff. 451 00:22:58,562 --> 00:23:02,472 When you give yourself true moments of rest and recovery, true moments 452 00:23:02,472 --> 00:23:07,742 of solitude and quiet, that is more restoring than anything else. 453 00:23:08,462 --> 00:23:14,182 So it's, it's okay to have that, to listen to your body's needs, to provide for it, 454 00:23:14,602 --> 00:23:16,552 and then to slowly come out of shutdown. 455 00:23:17,472 --> 00:23:21,532 And eventually you'll work your way into mobility, into some flight 456 00:23:21,542 --> 00:23:23,512 fight or sympathetic activation. 457 00:23:23,512 --> 00:23:27,922 If you have too much dorsal vagal activation or too much shutdown 458 00:23:27,922 --> 00:23:31,802 activation, you'll know it because you'll feel numb, you'll 459 00:23:31,802 --> 00:23:36,172 feel dissociative, you'll feel collapsed, you'll feel withdrawn. 460 00:23:36,832 --> 00:23:41,282 All that tells me there's, there's too much shutdown and not enough safety. 461 00:23:41,282 --> 00:23:43,042 Again, listen to your body's needs. 462 00:23:44,132 --> 00:23:48,232 Plowing through work and forcing your way into exercise and 463 00:23:48,232 --> 00:23:49,922 productivity and creativity. 464 00:23:50,572 --> 00:23:52,942 That's, that's fine, but it only lasts for so long. 465 00:23:52,982 --> 00:23:56,492 Eventually you simply burn out or you do collapse because you're not 466 00:23:56,492 --> 00:23:57,752 listening to what your body needs. 467 00:23:57,752 --> 00:24:03,482 Instead of searching for tons of mobility and productivity and creativity, 468 00:24:04,212 --> 00:24:07,202 instead of that strive for stillness. 469 00:24:07,372 --> 00:24:10,382 So we want to go from shutdown to stillness. 470 00:24:10,972 --> 00:24:14,032 Stillness is the combination of shutdown plus safety. 471 00:24:14,462 --> 00:24:19,602 Try to incorporate more elements of safety into your life mindfully. 472 00:24:19,927 --> 00:24:23,057 And then mindfully allow yourself to be in a shutdown state. 473 00:24:23,057 --> 00:24:25,657 When those two things combine, they create stillness. 474 00:24:25,737 --> 00:24:30,127 From stillness, then mobilization may emerge. 475 00:24:30,157 --> 00:24:33,397 I'm actually working on this right now for my, the Stucknaut Collective, 476 00:24:33,417 --> 00:24:34,907 the private community and courses. 477 00:24:35,327 --> 00:24:38,297 I created a course called Shutdown to Stillness, which teaches people 478 00:24:38,307 --> 00:24:42,867 how to go from shutdown, combine it with safety, and then into stillness. 479 00:24:43,717 --> 00:24:47,667 The next course I'm working on is called Stillness to Sympathetic, which 480 00:24:47,667 --> 00:24:50,347 teaches people how to go from stillness. 481 00:24:50,752 --> 00:24:55,782 And then to allow sympathetic mobility back into their system. 482 00:24:56,102 --> 00:24:58,902 I think that's a really good flow for how things should go. 483 00:24:59,742 --> 00:25:03,822 If you're not incorporating the safety aspect into your shutdown 484 00:25:03,892 --> 00:25:07,992 and resulting in stillness, uh, I, you might be setting yourself up 485 00:25:08,002 --> 00:25:09,292 for failure over and over again. 486 00:25:09,712 --> 00:25:12,292 The safety aspect aspect is kind of necessary. 487 00:25:12,302 --> 00:25:17,312 If you don't, then you might go from shutdown to flight fight. 488 00:25:17,662 --> 00:25:21,452 To shut down to flight fight and just kind of, um, circulate, circulate 489 00:25:21,472 --> 00:25:24,772 cycle back and forth between those two. 490 00:25:24,792 --> 00:25:26,572 So it might feel like deep depression. 491 00:25:27,202 --> 00:25:32,442 And then all of a sudden huge surges of fight activation probably might 492 00:25:32,452 --> 00:25:36,032 feel like a ton of anxiety as well, but more likely there's going to be 493 00:25:36,032 --> 00:25:37,692 some fight activation, irritability. 494 00:25:38,082 --> 00:25:39,992 anger, maybe rage. 495 00:25:40,452 --> 00:25:44,022 You're likely going to be going from depression to anger back and forth. 496 00:25:44,022 --> 00:25:45,822 That's when there's too much shutdown. 497 00:25:45,912 --> 00:25:48,612 There's another immobility option, which is freeze. 498 00:25:48,612 --> 00:25:50,902 And again, that's shutdown plus flight fight. 499 00:25:52,072 --> 00:25:56,702 Freeze is that dorsal vagal state plus flight fight. 500 00:25:56,702 --> 00:25:57,792 Freeze is different. 501 00:25:57,792 --> 00:26:02,052 It's not numbness and dissociation. 502 00:26:03,132 --> 00:26:06,537 It could be, but there's also elements of mobility within you. 503 00:26:06,547 --> 00:26:07,917 There's, there's activation. 504 00:26:08,537 --> 00:26:12,927 Freeze can also feel like stress and overwhelm, like a lot of overwhelm. 505 00:26:12,947 --> 00:26:14,547 It could feel like panic. 506 00:26:14,547 --> 00:26:15,577 It could feel like rage. 507 00:26:16,007 --> 00:26:22,147 So you need to connect with safety first which thaws the frozen 508 00:26:22,157 --> 00:26:26,487 flight fight activation and then use that flight fight activation 509 00:26:26,507 --> 00:26:30,107 toward creativity, productivity, exercise, whatever you want to do. 510 00:26:30,267 --> 00:26:35,017 You can reduce your fear through small, manageable steps. 511 00:26:35,057 --> 00:26:38,037 If you have a lot of freeze activation, then saying I'm going 512 00:26:38,037 --> 00:26:42,547 to create this wonderful slideshow all at once is not realistic. 513 00:26:42,547 --> 00:26:45,467 And it's probably going to reinforce your freeze because 514 00:26:45,467 --> 00:26:47,707 that's, that's overwhelming, but that's too much all at once. 515 00:26:47,707 --> 00:26:48,457 That's too much. 516 00:26:48,507 --> 00:26:51,977 That demands too much safety and that demands too much mobility. 517 00:26:52,462 --> 00:26:55,942 So instead we want to make those goals really small. 518 00:26:55,972 --> 00:26:59,432 It's great to want to create that painting or to want to go to the 519 00:26:59,432 --> 00:27:00,492 gym every day for 30 minutes. 520 00:27:00,492 --> 00:27:05,482 That that's great, but are you going to be able to do that today and tomorrow 521 00:27:05,542 --> 00:27:07,702 and then also sustain that long term? 522 00:27:08,522 --> 00:27:09,002 Maybe not. 523 00:27:09,592 --> 00:27:14,402 So instead of having that 30 minute goal, can you do a two minute goal 524 00:27:14,462 --> 00:27:17,612 in your home of lifting a weight? 525 00:27:18,522 --> 00:27:22,892 Can you have a goal of spending 30 seconds visualizing, working out? 526 00:27:23,972 --> 00:27:26,272 You got to start somewhere and we want to reduce the amount 527 00:27:26,272 --> 00:27:28,332 of fear as much as possible. 528 00:27:28,552 --> 00:27:34,372 If you can do that, you know, do those teeny tiny goals for a week and then add 529 00:27:34,372 --> 00:27:38,632 onto it, add onto the challenge by saying, well, yeah, I can visualize for 30 seconds 530 00:27:38,632 --> 00:27:41,362 per day for a week going to the gym. 531 00:27:42,072 --> 00:27:47,072 Can I now walk or drive myself to the gym to get out of my car, get 532 00:27:47,072 --> 00:27:48,422 back in my car and drive home? 533 00:27:48,422 --> 00:27:49,452 Can I do that for a week? 534 00:27:50,362 --> 00:27:52,812 And then a week after that, can I go into the gym and just stand 535 00:27:52,812 --> 00:27:53,532 there for a couple of minutes? 536 00:27:53,532 --> 00:27:53,712 Yeah. 537 00:27:53,712 --> 00:27:54,202 That sounds weird. 538 00:27:54,202 --> 00:27:54,517 I know. 539 00:27:55,447 --> 00:27:56,527 But you get the idea. 540 00:27:56,547 --> 00:28:01,187 We want to have small steps leading to the bigger goal. 541 00:28:01,187 --> 00:28:04,057 If you can accomplish the small steps, that's probably more likely from 542 00:28:04,447 --> 00:28:09,357 even from freeze than it is to give yourself that unreachable, huge goal. 543 00:28:09,357 --> 00:28:10,147 For shutdown. 544 00:28:10,167 --> 00:28:14,107 If you have earned that collapse at the end of the day, go ahead and collapse. 545 00:28:14,717 --> 00:28:16,917 Let yourself fall face first onto your bed. 546 00:28:17,297 --> 00:28:19,947 In quiet and just breathe and recover from the day. 547 00:28:20,097 --> 00:28:22,897 Hopefully you get the idea of these different states, how they show 548 00:28:22,897 --> 00:28:24,467 up and how you can utilize them. 549 00:28:24,467 --> 00:28:29,657 Now, how do we take what you know and implement it into your daily 550 00:28:29,657 --> 00:28:31,967 life in a way that works for you? 551 00:28:31,967 --> 00:28:35,607 I want you to streamline your efforts as much as possible. 552 00:28:35,617 --> 00:28:40,807 And I want you to make it easy to navigate through these various states and to use 553 00:28:40,807 --> 00:28:44,327 them in the most optimal way possible. 554 00:28:44,327 --> 00:28:49,377 So if you know more often than not you need to collapse and decompress, 555 00:28:49,567 --> 00:28:50,787 do you have a place to do that? 556 00:28:51,177 --> 00:28:52,707 Do you have a place that is ready for you? 557 00:28:53,617 --> 00:28:57,047 If not, then that might be a good place to start is to prepare for that. 558 00:28:57,047 --> 00:29:01,077 If you know that you want to be more productive and that involves reading 559 00:29:01,127 --> 00:29:07,617 and studying for a test maybe, is your book or your document ready to roll? 560 00:29:07,777 --> 00:29:10,527 Or do you have it in a backpack which is in your closet? 561 00:29:11,277 --> 00:29:15,897 Would it be more efficient for you to have that at a specific spot where you will do 562 00:29:15,897 --> 00:29:20,447 the most reading because it is the most stillness inducing spot in your home? 563 00:29:20,617 --> 00:29:22,567 Can you leave that paper or that book there? 564 00:29:23,087 --> 00:29:27,987 waiting for you versus going through the obstacles of backpack, 565 00:29:28,047 --> 00:29:29,637 closet, and across the house. 566 00:29:29,637 --> 00:29:34,237 If you have more mobility in your system, do you have the agenda or the structure? 567 00:29:34,247 --> 00:29:38,037 Do you have the achievement list that you can mark off as you achieve them? 568 00:29:38,287 --> 00:29:41,907 And if you do, is that list easily accessible? 569 00:29:41,997 --> 00:29:44,897 I personally write stuff on my, I have this big chalkboard. 570 00:29:45,087 --> 00:29:49,707 I turned a, uh, closet in the office into a chalkboard and storage area, 571 00:29:50,107 --> 00:29:55,357 but I use the chalkboard that has my priorities list listed and grouped to 572 00:29:55,457 --> 00:30:00,287 help me structure my time, to help me knock things off of my list and then 573 00:30:00,327 --> 00:30:03,827 to get my priorities done before I move on to the next things that I, I want to 574 00:30:03,827 --> 00:30:06,177 accomplish, which is like way too much. 575 00:30:06,687 --> 00:30:10,097 Uh, but this, this is helping me to focus my efforts. 576 00:30:10,393 --> 00:30:15,993 All I have to do is look up to my left and I will see my list of things to do. 577 00:30:16,323 --> 00:30:20,283 So if you have a list of things to do, is it easily accessible or 578 00:30:20,823 --> 00:30:22,163 is there an obstacle in the way? 579 00:30:22,173 --> 00:30:24,763 And an obstacle could even be like picking up your phone to look at your notes. 580 00:30:24,763 --> 00:30:25,463 That's great. 581 00:30:25,973 --> 00:30:29,123 But now you got to pick up your phone and I got to open that certain 582 00:30:29,163 --> 00:30:30,953 app to look at your, your notes. 583 00:30:31,193 --> 00:30:32,453 Is there an easier way to do it? 584 00:30:32,453 --> 00:30:34,563 Can you put it on post it notes and stick them on your screen? 585 00:30:34,563 --> 00:30:41,393 The basic idea here is if you know that you lean more into a certain state, do you 586 00:30:41,393 --> 00:30:47,633 have things set up so that you can easily make use of the potentials for that state? 587 00:30:47,633 --> 00:30:50,283 The other recommendation on how to optimize yourself is to practice 588 00:30:50,283 --> 00:30:51,803 feeling safe every single day. 589 00:30:51,843 --> 00:30:56,408 I would highly recommend you do it every day, and I don't think it has to be much. 590 00:30:56,585 --> 00:30:59,035 In the Stucknaut Collective private community, I do these 591 00:30:59,035 --> 00:31:00,465 things called a daily growth hub. 592 00:31:00,915 --> 00:31:03,045 And every day I give a challenge out to people. 593 00:31:03,075 --> 00:31:07,165 In the past couple weeks, I've been focusing on giving out really small 594 00:31:07,165 --> 00:31:11,075 challenges that require no more than two minutes of mindfulness. 595 00:31:11,605 --> 00:31:16,235 One of those things was pick the same spot at the same time every 596 00:31:16,235 --> 00:31:21,525 day, set an alarm or timer for two minutes and do a two minutes, up 597 00:31:21,525 --> 00:31:22,615 to two minutes, it could be less. 598 00:31:23,400 --> 00:31:27,200 Up to two minutes mindfulness exercise where you just listen 599 00:31:27,410 --> 00:31:30,560 and feel and look inward and connect with the external world. 600 00:31:30,580 --> 00:31:32,710 Just some mindfulness meditative practice for two minutes. 601 00:31:33,380 --> 00:31:34,710 And that was for one week. 602 00:31:34,710 --> 00:31:39,920 The next week we did one where it was, you set an alarm for every day 603 00:31:39,920 --> 00:31:44,010 for five days and you set that alarm for a different time every day. 604 00:31:44,180 --> 00:31:46,160 When the alarm goes off, same thing. 605 00:31:46,160 --> 00:31:47,950 Spend two up to two minutes. 606 00:31:48,665 --> 00:31:51,315 noticing or being mindful of being mindful. 607 00:31:51,655 --> 00:31:54,085 One of my alarms went off when I was in CVS. 608 00:31:54,195 --> 00:31:58,065 And so I used two minutes to walk up and down the aisles and to 609 00:31:58,065 --> 00:32:01,435 touch things and to smell candles and just connect the environment. 610 00:32:02,225 --> 00:32:04,775 The, another alarm went off when I was at my friend's house. 611 00:32:04,775 --> 00:32:10,135 We were doing a Dungeons and Dragons campaign with our kids, and it was 612 00:32:10,375 --> 00:32:12,895 unbelievably difficult to be mindful because we were having so much fun. 613 00:32:13,265 --> 00:32:14,905 So it didn't work out that way. 614 00:32:15,205 --> 00:32:17,805 at that moment, but later on that night when he and I were hanging 615 00:32:17,805 --> 00:32:22,855 out, uh, chatting under the stars at his beautiful ranch in the, at 616 00:32:22,855 --> 00:32:24,915 nighttime and just, you know, talking. 617 00:32:25,345 --> 00:32:30,905 I use that as a time to be mindful of the absolute serenity of that moment. 618 00:32:30,905 --> 00:32:32,625 I would encourage you to do something like that. 619 00:32:33,275 --> 00:32:34,605 Every day. 620 00:32:34,675 --> 00:32:36,165 No, it does not solve all your problems. 621 00:32:36,165 --> 00:32:39,895 I know that, but it starts to create that predictability. 622 00:32:39,895 --> 00:32:42,475 It starts to create a reference point for safety. 623 00:32:42,475 --> 00:32:44,225 And if you can do 30 seconds, you can do two minutes. 624 00:32:44,225 --> 00:32:46,235 If you could do two minutes, all of a sudden, well, now what else 625 00:32:46,235 --> 00:32:47,175 can you accomplish after that? 626 00:32:47,225 --> 00:32:51,575 The last recommendation I have for you in your daily life to focus on productivity 627 00:32:51,935 --> 00:32:55,555 and creativity and motivation is to look inward and notice what state you're in. 628 00:32:56,085 --> 00:32:58,995 Do you have more mobility or less? 629 00:32:59,335 --> 00:33:02,725 Do you have more collapse or less? 630 00:33:03,005 --> 00:33:06,405 Do you have more potential to connect or less? 631 00:33:07,215 --> 00:33:11,255 Look inward and just, just notice for now, just notice what you have more or 632 00:33:11,255 --> 00:33:13,765 less of throughout the day if you can. 633 00:33:14,845 --> 00:33:20,655 And if you can do that, then you can ask yourself, what can I accomplish from this 634 00:33:20,675 --> 00:33:23,585 level of activation or lack of activation? 635 00:33:23,595 --> 00:33:24,575 What can I accomplish? 636 00:33:24,635 --> 00:33:27,305 What's the best I can do in this moment? 637 00:33:27,565 --> 00:33:31,255 Is this a time for me to collapse and be okay with it for five minutes? 638 00:33:32,015 --> 00:33:35,705 Or is this a time for me to look at my, my list of achievements and 639 00:33:35,705 --> 00:33:37,455 start knocking things off one by one? 640 00:33:38,135 --> 00:33:40,975 Or is this a chance for me to take a break and go hug my kids and say, I 641 00:33:40,975 --> 00:33:42,245 love you and then get back to work? 642 00:33:44,416 --> 00:33:47,776 Thank you so much for joining me here on Stuck Not Broken. 643 00:33:47,866 --> 00:33:52,046 I hope this episode has helped you to look at what your potentials are throughout 644 00:33:52,046 --> 00:33:55,916 the day, and then how to apply those potentials to what you want to get 645 00:33:55,916 --> 00:34:01,801 done, to what your bigger goals are day to day or even bigger goals in life. 646 00:34:01,801 --> 00:34:03,771 I gave you a bunch of stuff you can work on day to day. 647 00:34:04,221 --> 00:34:05,551 Um, but I also have a resource for you. 648 00:34:05,551 --> 00:34:08,791 It's a free resource and to make it as simple as possible, I got to do is 649 00:34:08,791 --> 00:34:13,141 click on the link in the description and you'll get that download right away. 650 00:34:13,141 --> 00:34:14,271 You don't have to go anywhere else for it. 651 00:34:14,691 --> 00:34:16,371 You click the link and you'll get the download. 652 00:34:16,771 --> 00:34:19,541 It's my SSIEC sheet. 653 00:34:19,951 --> 00:34:24,481 That stands for state sensation, impulse, emotion, and cognition. 654 00:34:25,236 --> 00:34:30,946 This lays out what your polyvagal states are and what the experiences are from 655 00:34:30,946 --> 00:34:32,506 those states or the potential experiences. 656 00:34:32,836 --> 00:34:37,726 This can help you to get more language or to better identify what state you're in. 657 00:34:38,336 --> 00:34:40,506 And then if you could do that, then you can ask yourself, 658 00:34:40,686 --> 00:34:41,966 well, what can I accomplish? 659 00:34:41,966 --> 00:34:43,126 What does my body need at this moment? 660 00:34:43,146 --> 00:34:45,291 What can I accomplish from this state? 661 00:34:45,451 --> 00:34:48,211 So click on that link and you'll get the download right away. 662 00:34:48,641 --> 00:34:50,321 I have a ton of other resources. 663 00:34:50,451 --> 00:34:53,041 If you want that, click on the link in the description and that'll take 664 00:34:53,041 --> 00:34:57,131 you to the free member center where I've collected all that stuff for you. 665 00:34:57,131 --> 00:34:57,371 Okay. 666 00:34:57,401 --> 00:34:58,171 That's it again. 667 00:34:58,171 --> 00:35:00,599 Thank you so much for listening and bye. 668 00:35:00,661 --> 00:35:04,421 This podcast is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or 669 00:35:04,421 --> 00:35:06,081 be a replacement for therapy. 670 00:35:06,961 --> 00:35:10,311 Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship. 671 00:35:11,171 --> 00:35:14,821 Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are 672 00:35:14,821 --> 00:35:16,831 experiencing mental health symptoms. 673 00:35:17,726 --> 00:35:21,326 Nothing in this podcast should be construed to be specific life advice. 674 00:35:21,476 --> 00:35:24,736 It is for educational and entertainment purposes only. 675 00:35:25,616 --> 00:35:28,896 More resources are available in the description of this episode 676 00:35:28,926 --> 00:35:30,146 and in the footer of justinlmft. 677 00:35:31,646 --> 00:35:32,046 com.