This podcast is for you, the Modern Man. I'm Dr Anne Truong,

your host. I'm an intimate health medical doctor and best

selling author of the book, Erectile Dysfunction Fix. I'll

do a deep dive into sexual health and performance and how

it affects men of all ages and backgrounds. So let's get

started, and be sure to visit my website at

sexualhealthformenpodcast.com for more information and

resources from the show. See you on the inside.

Hi there, Modern Man. I'm Dr Anne Truong. I'm a sexual

medicine medical doctor, and I've treated over 7000 men with

ED. In this episode, we're going to talk about how your brain is

your largest sexual organ, and how your mind can be your

greatest ally in the bedroom. And stay till the end to find

out why erotic fantasies can have both positive and negative

effect on ED, depending on how it is used and in what context.

So what are the potential benefits of fantasies or just

using your mind to stimulate yourself or just arousal? Now

remember that the brain is the largest sexual organ. If nothing

starts in the brain then nothing's going to go below the

belt. You have to stimulate your arousal from the five senses

that you have. What are the five senses that you have? What you

see. If you see something that is stimulated, that arouses in

your brain. Or what you smell through your nose that can be

arousing as well. When you eat the food that you eat, that can

be aroused. Yes, and then what you hear, like music that

stimulates you, that help. And then what you touch. But don't

forget our mind, our mind can have visual images and fantasies

in our mind that will also help with arousal. Men that are

paralyzed from the neck down can still have erection because of

their thoughts. The thoughts and their fantasies that they have.

So the potential benefits erotic fantasies is that it can help

stimulate arousal by engaging the imagination. So this can be

particularly helpful for men experiencing psychological

barriers to arousal, like you can share suggestive stories or

erotica with your partner, and this can create more intimacy

and reduce performance pressure. Number two, it can actually help

you with your mood. It can actually relax you. It can

reduce stress and anxiety, which then will be helpful for you to

have your erection. Number three, it can help enhance your

partner connection, so when use collaboratively or sharing your

fantasy, can really foster intimacy and communication

between partners as well, and potentially improving sexual

satisfaction and really help with your erection.

Now, there are potential drawback to erotic fantasy too.

I want to mention that. So if you use porn as a form for

simulation, it can also desensitize. It's called

desensitization. So what that mean is that it will lower your

dopamine, that will kind of mess up what real life intimacy is

all about. So that's how porn messes up with your mind. And

therefore porn will induce ED, because it messes up with how

you perceive real life intimacy, and lower your dopamine

sensitivity as well too. Now one of the negative drawback is that

it could be escape versus reality, meaning the frequent

use of fantasy as an escape from reality can create a

disconnection between imagination and real life sexual

experience. So this sometimes can lead to achieving arousal

and maintaining an erection during actual sexual encounter.

And when you have fantasy, it could be unrealistic

expectation, which then may increase performance anxiety.

So let's use some strategy to use fantasy effectively, and

that it doesn't put you in a negative mindset. So number one,

mindful exploration. Practice mindfulness to become more aware

of what feels good and what not, so you will know what stimulates

you, what visual sight stimulate you, smell, taste, what you hear

like playing your music that relaxes you and touching. So

mindfulness. Pay attention to what stimulate you. Also

communicate with your partner. Communicate it and say, "You

know, let's try something new. What do you think about it? Are

you open to that?" And open communication is critical for

your fantasy to be effective at this point. And so focus on

fantasy that involve your partner for realistic scenarios

to enhance your connection with your partner, rather than trying

to escape and use fantasy as a tool to break through shame and

transcend boredom and reconnect with your desire again. Have a

playlist of music that increase your sensual and excitement

feeling to set the mood. And also explore the environment and

consider how it affects your arousal. Perhaps go to a hotel

or perhaps go outside of the house for change in scenery. But

most importantly, share your fantasy with your partner as an

act of vulnerability and deeper connection. Remember that

sharing doesn't necessarily mean acting on them, just discussing

on it as well, and that use fantasy and sharing as a way to

build trust, understanding in your relationship. And also

discuss about boundaries and comfort level with your partner

before incorporating any new element into your sexual

activity. So start slowly by adding small detail to your

sexual encounter, and gradually build up based on mutual

comfort. Use role playing or custom play to bring fantasy to

life in a safe and consensual manner and explore new forms of

foreplay or position inspired by your share fantasy and

maintaining a healthy perspective.

Remember that fantasy don't always need to be acted upon.

They can remain a mental tool for enhancing arousal and

satisfaction. And understand that fantasy can change over

time, and that is normal for desire to evolve. And if you

find it challenging to engage with or feel positive about your

sexual fantasy, consider seeking help from a sex therapist. Okay,

there's nothing wrong with that. But I was talking with a

patient, and we were talking about, instead of him using porn

to masturbate, then use fantasies like read an erotic

book, or just use his own thought to stimulate himself,

and it is so much healthier to do it this way and to enhance

intimacy and to really boost overall satisfaction. Just make

sure you keep it real, keep it open communication and make it

fun. Remember always prioritize mutual consent and respect for

you and your partner's boundaries.

So I hope you enjoyed this episode. I thought I would share

this because I had a patient that asked me about, "Well, if I

cat't use porn, what can I use?" And I said, Well, how about

penalties and erotic books and use your own mind and thought to

stimulate arousal. So I hope you enjoyed this episode. Let me

know what your thoughts are. It will mean the world to me if you

click the like and subscribe, and share this with someone that

you think maybe can benefit from this episode. And that just know

you are not alone in dealing with ED. There are other options

for ED besides pills and surgery. So having said that,

check out Good Morning Wood Smoothie recipe on here, or you

can go to goodmorningwoodsmoothie.com to

get my formula, a good morning wood smoothie that literally

help you get erection in about several weeks, along with adding

intermittent fasting to it. So get the recipe for the Good

Morning Wood Smoothie at this point. Abd just know that we

have a community of men that work together and getting out of

ED to sexual confidence. And that is the Modern Man Club,

where we support one another to have more sexual confidence and

to get rid of ED. Check it out at noedman.com I hope to see you

in there, and having said that I will see you in the next

episode, Modern Man.

Thanks for listening to the Sexual Health for Men Podcast.

If you love this episode, then please take a screenshot on your

phone and post it on Facebook, Instagram, or wherever you post,

and be sure to tag me and let me know why you like this episode

and what you like to hear in the future. That will help me know

what's great for you and I would love to give you the most

incredible free gift designed to help you improve performance

quickly. Go to my website at sexualhealthformenpodcast.com to

get the book, The Five Common Costly Mistakes Men Make When

Facing ED. I would appreciate if you subscribe, leave a review on

Apple podcasts or wherever you listen. And just know that you

can have sexual vitality for life. I appreciate you until

next time.