Hello, hello and welcome to the Borealis

experience. I'm your host Aurora, and I'm very happy to be

spending some time with you today. It is a strange day. It

is a day without WhatsApp, Instagram, and Facebook. I don't

know if everybody is being affected by this. But I'm being

affected by it. And my people around me here in Canada, so

yeah, very interesting to see how dependent we are on social

media, or to see on how active we are. Right? We connect with

most of my people through WhatsApp and Facebook. And yeah,

today is a day of silence and reflection. Yet I thought, I'm,

of course not going to hold back and send out an episode for you

on this beautiful day. I hope you're doing well. I hope life

is flowing smoothly for you in the direction that you want. And

if it is not, if you feel stuck, if you're frustrated, if you

feel unhappy, then I hope I can bring you peace and hope and

resolution maybe. Today I want to talk about regrets and how we

can move on from feeling guilt and shame and regrets. Couple of

weeks ago, dear listener of mine mentioned that one of my videos

really lifted him up and helped him not because he lives in a

lot of regret and pain. The person that he dearly loves

past, and he regrets not being there enough for that person on

that last couple of days. And it's an incredible pain that I

could feel from my dear listener there and I kind of wanted to

come up with with a good episode to send out there for him but

also for all you others because of you sometimes we all feel

regret, something triggers us a memory comes up, a person steps

back into our lives, or we read something we watch a movie,

whatever it is it can trigger regrets, and how can we then

stop ruminating so much and self punishing, and start forgiving

ourselves moving on. And knowing that, at that time, we didn't

know better. At that time, we did our best. We didn't wake up

in the morning and decided to be a shitty person. We didn't

decide to neglect we didn't decide to hurt, we didn't decide

to do something that we will regret further down the road. So

the first thing that I want to mention here is that we need to

forgive ourselves we need to know that it is okay how it is

even though it is uncomfortable as fuck. It is okay how it is

and we're gonna do better in the present and in the future. This

is the only part of your life that you can truly influence

your present. And talking about the present. alumnus slightly.

Quickly slide I mean into presence. The more presence we

give to our daily activities to our work to the people we love,

the less likely we will end up regretting stuff in the future.

So if this is one thing that we learn from regret, is that maybe

we can be a little bit more present and the future Not only

to, like, give people more attention, to listen better to

them, to connect better with them, but also to protect

ourselves, the more you are present, the more you learn to

read other people, the less missteps you're going to have,

when you make an important decision, like a choice of your

partner, your lover,

your boss, your co workers, the better you know yourself better

decision decisions you will make in the future. This is my little

quote that I love to throw out here and there, if you know me

already, but the more present you are with your environment,

the more you will be able to tune into it. And the more you

will see if it is suitable for you, or if it is not. So from

that standpoint, you can make way better decisions for

yourself and others that are being affected, without

regretting as much in the future. Now, if you regret not

being present enough with a person who has passed, then it

is really painful place to be I understand because you cannot

call that person bad, he cannot apologize. And you feel like

there's no closure. But you have to permit closure, you have to

allow yourself to find peace. You know, oftentimes, when we

feel we feel we have to punish ourselves, maybe even for the

rest of our lives. We don't do it consciously. But

subconsciously, we dim our light. When we, for instance,

hurt a loved one in the past and hasn't really forgiven ourselves

very well be that you don't allow yourself to be open and

fully, like vulnerable with a new person, person that has

nothing to do with your past. And you will not allow them to

be loving with you. Because you feel you're not deserving

because of that one thing that you've done in the past and that

you're not forgiving yourself. So what this means is that

you're preventing yourself from a truly juicy life. And this can

be a start of a intense depression. Because you lock

yourself up from the good of life, you are dimming your

light, because you're not forgiving yourself. You don't

allow yourself to see the good memories you don't allow

yourself to be forgiven by the other person and by yourself.

And so you dim your light and you kind of walk around with

this dim light and people don't really know who you are what you

stand for. They treat you like they think they can treat you

and you don't really set boundaries because you're not

deserving of good treatment and good boundaries. Can you know

unless the wind was getting a little bit too intense here? Can

you see how this might apply to your life or maybe to life of a

loved one. It is last year that I reconciled with three people

in my life. And I could have bet my right hand that these people

don't want to talk to me anymore. That these people if I

contacted them they would have approached me with resentment

and anger, sadness, frustration. And I just decided to do it

anyways. To my huge surprise these people, all three of them,

approached me with an attitude of forgiveness, of hatred, let's

move on together. Let's be in each other's life again. I'm so

grateful that I do didn't waste more time to reach out and

contact and to see what's going on in their life.

I'm so grateful that I am in contact again. Now think about

all those nights that I was crying and wasting energy on

regretting and hating myself. being mad at myself, not

allowing myself to see that I'm a good person. Because of these

three people, not forgiving me, and they actually had forgiven

me. I just couldn't believe that I could be forgiven. It is your

birthright, to live at peace, and to live a juicy life. It is

your decision to reach out for help, to apologize to forgive

yourself. And to then move on. Don't waste time on what has

been an things that you can change anymore. Focus on what

you can do better now. Life is not about not making mistakes.

being perfect, it is not about perfection. It is about making

mistakes, and then learning and then moving on. And then

applying what we have learned to a similar situation that we will

encounter in the future. be kinder to yourself, forgive

yourself, just as much as you forgive others. It is important

that we see you that you shine your light brightly. Because

otherwise, you're facing depression, you're facing a

mediocre life. And you're deserving of so much more. Thank

you so much for listening to this episode here today. It is

very dear to my heart to provide you with tools with shortcuts,

to reach a more content life, and to waste less time on stuff

that we can change anymore. And to invest time in ourselves and

feeling good and better with ourselves. And in doing so,

making better decisions and the future for ourselves and the

people that we affect around us. If you're new to this podcast,

welcome, warm welcome. I'm so happy to have you here. Make

sure to subscribe and add me on Facebook. I'd love to hear your

comments, your thoughts and get to know you on a deeper level.

And if you are an old loyal listener, know how much I

appreciate you know that you are incredible. And without you I

wouldn't be here. So thank you so much for being there and for

supporting me for learning with me for walking this path with

me. I know my stuff can be very triggering and then comfortable

at times and I just have huge respect for you. And yeah, to

all of you take really good care of yourselves and I will be out

there very soon again on Thursday. Until then, drink lots

of water. Go walk in nature. Be kind to yourself. Connect deeply

with people that do that.