You know every man goes through seasons of life that don't show up on a calendar

They're not about the weather

They're about who you are when no one's looking

And it starts with the lonely chapter

That period when everything feels quiet maybe even a little bit empty

You're building something a business a body a mindset and no one really sees it yet

You're not where you used to be but you're not where you want to be either

So you just grind day after day

That's the price of entry

Then you hit the mirror stage

That's when you start seeing yourself clearly for the first time

Not who you say you are but who you really are

You start realizing how much of your life you have built on needing validation or chasing the wrong metrics

You start to ask harder questions

And that reflection it humbles you

But like everything else the season always turns

You start to see that nothing is permanent

The heights fade the low fades

And one day you realize that every ugly chapter every setback every boring season it all made sense

The struggle starts looking more beautiful in hindsight

And then comes the weight of wanting

You've grown you've achieved but now you start to see the cost the cost of ambition mastery of being him that guy

You realize that peace doesn't come from getting more it comes from understanding enough understanding that every version of you had to die so this one could live

And that's the journey over and over and over again dying rebuilding and growing each time

And it all starts here the lonely chapter real quick

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All right let's jump right in

It's a chapter in everyone's journey that no one talks about

It's not the part where you're winning

It's not the part when you're motivated

It's that in between stage when you're grinding you're growing and nobody sees that

I call it the lonely chapter

It's that point in your life when you start changing your habits your mindset your goals but the world around you just hasn't caught up yet

You're growing out of your old circles but you're not deep enough into your new ones that you feel at home either

Right

So you're in this limbo stage of loneliness

You start noticing that the people used to hang out with you don't connect the same with anymore

The conversations feel different

The energy feels off

It's not that anyone did anything wrong it's just that you're evolving an evolution

It's lonely

You might be in the gym every morning pushing yourself but nobody's clapping

You might be working 12 hour days building your business while everybody else is having fun

You might be in a relationship that's being tested because you're changing and learning things about yourself that you didn't know there were there

It's like that Rocky montage except it doesn't last two minutes with a song in the background

It lasts months sometimes even years

And there's no crowd watching no music just you showing up day after day night after night

And that is the prize of entry

Loneliness solitude self doubt

People talk about glow up the success the new life

But the truth is before you grow up you break down to the ground

Before you find peace you sit in silence

Before you become confident you go through the seasons of questioning everything absolutely everything

And this is where most people quit because it's hard to believe in yourself when no one is watching when there's no validation when all you have is your own voice telling you keep going

And that's where self belief really matters when it's just you your thoughts in the work when conviction doesn't slip

Chris Williams has something that stuck with me

Uh back when I went to go watch the show in New York she said all the intelligent people are full of doubt while the dumb ones are full of confidence

And the moment he said this I kind of just stood and I was like fuck man

Like and it's true

The more self aware you become the more you see how much you don't know

But that's also how you grow

You can't fake bravery

You can't fake conviction doing the thing even when you're scared

That's bravery

Doing the thing when you don't feel motivated

That's discipline

That's conviction

And what's crazy is you don't just go through the lonely chapter once

You go through it over and over again

Each time you do that in order to grow into the next version of yourself

Every time you level up whether it's in business relationships health or in your own mindset there's another lonely chapter waiting for you on the other side

Because every time you grow you all grow something in the past and every time you all grow something you're forced into solitude again

Because now you're evolving to this new version of yourself

So therefore everything that was there beforehand is no longer gonna serve you the same as the ones in the new version of yourself

So you're gonna be stuck again in this little sliver of loneliness

And that's the cost of being a lifelong learner

That's the cost of never settling

You have to die to who you were to become who you want to be

And I get it honestly I mean it's not easy

There are nights when you question if it's all worth it

There are mornings when you wake up tired not physically necessarily but mentally from just doing everything holding everything together

You pray for a sign for some kind of confirmation that you're not wasting your time and then something is gonna go right eventually

But here's the thing

God doesn't build in comfort he builds in silence

He built in solitude

He strips away distractions he takes people out of your life he closes doors not to punish you but to prepare you for what he has in store for you

You might not understand it right now but this season is necessary because if he gave you everything you're praying for today you wouldn't be able to carry it

You would not be ready for it you wouldn't know how to handle it right

If you're praying for Wolf and you were to get that right now in this moment you would most likely go broke within a couple months because you haven't built the skill of handling wealth you haven't built the skill of handling a partner you haven't built the skill of handling and maintaining a good physique

So therefore you have to go through all that dirty work in order to get what you're praying for

And honestly this is where she's teaching you how to be alone without being lonely necessarily how to trust when you can't see how to believe when there's no evidence yet

The lonely chapter is where faith is built

And this is where a lot of people start turning into god in their lowest moments

In this lonely chapter where discipline replaces motivation when you stop chasing validation and start building conviction it's not necessarily a punishment

It's more of preparation

It's where the foundation gets poured and settled where it hardens

It's where your character catches up to your calling

So if you're in that season right now just keep going

I know it's hard

I've been there

I mean man I know how it feels

It feels endless

And honestly it kind of feels like I'm still going through that

But this is the work that no one sees

And that's why it matters

One day you're gonna look back and you're gonna realize that this was part of that change that you've been wanting

And this was the moment that absolutely pivoted your life and changed everything

Not necessarily the winds not the highlights of your life but this this lonely chapter was the part that made you you

Everything you're looking for praying for asking for working towards the peace the people the success the sense of purpose

It's all waiting on the other side of this version of you right

All that you're asking for is waiting on the other side of the hard work

If you're not willing to do the hard work the lonely work the doubtful work of pushing through all of this trash all of this just mess of problems that you have not addressed yet

And you don't do the necessary work of forgetting how it is that you were thinking beforehand introducing new ideas and adapting them to become the person you wanna be

Then what's the point what are you doing all this for

Right like if you're voluntarily putting yourself in the state of pain with the objective of change and you are not willing to do the change then dude what do you like you like pain

Like is that what you like

Honestly it's weird because I found myself at a point where there was a specific part of myself that I was not willing to change because it was either um just something that I was used to was like comfortable or maybe I was just denying myself the fact that I could change

And things that were happening in my life kept bumping up against that little character trait that little thing

And I found myself kind of stuck saying like man I guess like this is it

Like this is as far as I go

But then you realize like dude you just gotta you gotta keep your head down man

Like you gotta keep your head down keep your heart right keep building because this lonely chapter it doesn't last forever

But who you become that person on the other side that version of you that you're working towards that's the version that lasts you a lifetime

That is who your kids are gonna look up to who your wife is gonna love who your mother's gonna be proud of who your dad's gonna say hey son you made it who your friends are gonna use for motivation

Everyone else that's looking at you is gonna look at you and be like man fuck she did it

And this is not necessarily again it's not necessarily about validation

It's about doing what you say you were gonna do

And there's a very specific sense of satisfaction from that that no other reward in life gives you

So the lonely chapter you know the funny thing about the lonely chapter is that it doesn't end with a big moment

It ends quietly

One day you kind of just wake up and you realize that you're not who you used to be

That pain that used to sting doesn't sting the same

That silence that used to hurt you now feels more like peace

And you start to see yourself differently

And that's when the next stage begins because once the loneliness shapes you you reach that point where there's nowhere left to run no distractions no noise no validation just you

And when it's just you you have to look in the mirror and face everything you've become all the good that you've turned from that bad and all that bad that sadly has kind of stayed you just have to face everything look at yourself in the mirror and understand that that's part of you and you still have a long way to go but you've come that far

That's the mirror stage

It's not about grinding anymore sincerely

It's not about working harder it's about understanding

It's about taking a hard look at yourself your patterns your fears your truth and deciding what stays and what goes right

You've already done the work to change into the person that you need to be in order to fulfill your goals

Now you need to decide

Okay we need to trim up this fat we need to figure this out

That lonely chapter builds your strength that mirror stage builds your awareness

So if you're still in that lonely season understand that it's leading somewhere

It's not just endless void because when the science starts to settle the reflection starts to speak

That's when you finally meet that person that all this pain was preparing you to become

So now the mirror stage hey real quick if you're still watching or listening congratulations

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Alright let's get back into it

You know there's a part in your journey where you stop asking what do people think

And you start to ask why do I care so much

For me honestly that shift didn't happen overnight

Early in business I needed approval from everybody

Friends family customers because deep down I wasn't sure if I was doing the right thing

And at that moment I didn't realize that that was a normal thing

Their approval made me feel like I was on the right path right

Like somehow whatever it is that I was doing was the right thing

And if I didn't get that approval I felt like I was doing something wrong

And now looking back at it I realize it honestly just didn't matter because I needed to go through that

All the mess up all the fail publicity all those painful lessons

That's the only way to figure out what actually works and what doesn't

And the funny part is that most people I wanted approval from weren't even paying that much attention

People will always let you know what they think whether it's your customers whether it's your random people online or even the one that are closest to you and that you love the most

But you have to learn how to step back and ask yourself why am I doing this

Why am I putting myself through this and why do I care so much about what other people think

And honestly if your only answer is money or is to prove them wrong or something like that kind of like what I had you'll lose steam the moment it gets hard

And trust me it's going to get fucking hard because your purpose has to be way deeper than that

Because when things get ugly when your business slows down when you lose people when you say something that triggers other people and then they start saying things it's honestly purpose that keeps you grounded

It's your sense of direction

With no direction you're a lost cause

It's your purpose that keeps you grounded not your validation

So you start to realize that people don't care about you nearly as much as you think

Sure your family might care about what you think or how you're doing or whatever

But honestly like dude everyone is just caught up on their own mess right

Their life is complicated enough to honestly care about your life that much

They're caught up in their worries their own insecurities their own financial problems

So I started understanding that we wouldn't care so much about how people saw us if we truly understood how little they cared in the first place

When I first started that realization hit pretty slow

Uh I used to equate being liked with being accept it right

That external validation became this kind of like drug that kept me going

Like you just constantly need more more more more

Sometimes we get to the point where you would get you know validation you get praise from people right

Whether strangers or you know loved ones or whatever

And it just I wouldn't feel anything

And I'm like what the hell

So like exactly like a drug it was literally like a quick dopamine hit to make me forget how lonely I actually felt and how lost I was

I wanted to be seen so badly

I didn't even realize that I was losing side of myself and my purpose the whole reason why I started anything in the first place

But after being in that lonely chapter grinding sacrificing spending more nights in silence than in conversation I started building results real ones numbers momentum impact

And I realize no one cared about the bad times

You know no one showed up to see me when I was struggling

So why would I care what they think when I start winning

And that's when it clicked

Most people don't even know what they don't know

They act out of emotion reacting to things they don't understand

You can't take it personal

If you're doing something worth doing and you're crying for it and you generally feel like that fires out of you every single time you do it it doesn't matter how good or bad you do it people are always going to have something to say

And if no one's hating honestly you're probably not doing anything that matters

And that might be a harsh realization but it's the truth

This mirror stage is where you start running from yourself

You start realizing that no amount of likes no amount of approval no amount of money can fill that void that comes from not trusting yourself

You need to you need to stop needing to be understood and you need to start needing to be aligned with yourself with your goals with your purpose

Because there's a big difference between being liked and being respected

When you start standing on your own words when you implement change when you're speaking your truth you'll find people who disagree and that's okay

That's how you build a spine

You develop the humility to listen to smart people and you also develop the discernment to ignore everything else if it doesn't serve you honestly just tune it out right

That doesn't mean to be disrespectful and just you know not let people speak or be disrespectful

But it also means that you should take everything that anybody says with a grain of salt

If you think that you have nothing to learn from them now if they prove you wrong then that's a completely different story

But that's what I would have to say about that now

When the criticism comes don't run from it

If it comes from someone that I admire I dropped my ego and listen lifelong learners will forever want to learn from people that are ahead of them

There's no envy involved

There's no like oh it's not fair that you did this and I couldn't do it or you had a hand out this and this and that

No that doesn't do anything for anybody

Drop the ego and listen closely if it comes from someone who's just like emotional honestly do like just keep it moving

Like there's there's gonna be a lot of those sadly there's gonna be a lot of those in your life

And you know you can't let the voice of someone who's never done what you're doing be louder than your own right

So for example if you have like let's just for example you have your parents that you're trying to start a business or trying to start something for yourself and they tell you like no you should do this or like go to college or like follow this career Pablo or like you don't know what you're doing you're gonna go broke whatever

If they're not the supportive kind I'm saying then honestly like should you really listen to them

They've never done what you're doing so how could they tell you what's gonna happen right

Know you as their son they don't know you as a worker they don't know how hard you're willing to work for this

So don't let anybody that's not done what you've done successfully tell you how to do that thing cool

If you think about it like you can't fake bravery

You either do the things scared or you don't do it at all

And that in itself is bravery and honestly that's okay

Being scared is okay feeling doubt is okay

I felt that feeling hundreds of times and I still feel it to this day and I will probably feel it for the rest of my life and something I've Learned with filming with people that I look up to talking to big clients taking leaps that I didn't feel ready for

You understand that that fear just doesn't go away bro like it stays

You live with that fear you just get used to doing the things while that fear standing right next to you becomes like your little co pilot

And with that you understand that motivation it's just started fuel it keeps you moving but discipline of the thing discipline is what keeps the engine running when the tanks empty

And purpose purpose is the road you're driving on right

So again you have motivation as a starter fuel to this rocket and once that start field is done and you need to head into the atmosphere you have discipline discipline keeps it running is that actual gas that keeps you running

And your purpose your mission your goal is the trajector that you're going on

So if you ever forget why you started you'll find yourself running in circles chasing applause instead of progress

I've had seasons where I pushed away too hard you know you I would uh wake up work go to the gym sleep and repeat

Like sometimes I wouldn't even eat maybe just once a day and it all just felt like a loop dude it was it was horrible

It got to the point where I crashed and I was basically running on fuse barely sleeping didn't take no breaks

I was telling myself just just one more just do it again

One more one more job one more edit one more call one more sale and we'll go to bed

And honestly like everything inside of me just cried screamed telling me to stop but I didn't

I ignored it

And after a while of completely burning out I took two days off I sat in silence and then I came back sharper

That was literally it right

Because even an exhaustion there's a voice inside that was telling me you've come too far to quit now right

Like if you were to quit right now while you're burnt out what the fuck was the point of doing everything that you did

What was the point of missing all those weekends

What was the point of investing all that money

What was the point of pushing so hard to the point of failure if you're just gonna quit right now right

What the hell is the point

So that's when I Learned the real meaning of discipline

It's not just about waking up early or going to the gym every day

It's about showing up when every single part of you doesn't want to

It's about choosing future you over current you

It's about looking in the mirror today and saying I'll take the pain

I'll shoulder that I'll take care of it today so that tomorrow me doesn't have to

That's the mirror stage

It's raw uncomfortable but it's real

You start to see your future self more clearly

That version of you that's confident resilient the leader that people can rely on the one who doesn't act out of emotion but rather controls it and the one who's builds you know million dollar businesses and a media empire

But meanwhile stay humble stayed grounded and stayed faithful

That's the goal

That's who I'm building for

That's who I work for

That future version of myself every system I've built every late night every episode every lift I do in the gym it's all an investment for him

Future me not me right now not me in the past me in the future

And honestly if future me could talk to me right now I think and I'm positive that he would say keep going do better take care of yourself don't burn out trying to prove something to yourself or to others you've got this just get the work done

So that's what I remind myself when the noise gets way too loud

Some people just won't get it

And that's okay

Not everyone supposed to

If everyone could do it everybody would do it

But most people can't

And that's what makes this journey special because it tests your grit your patience your ability to work alone when it's easier to fit in

The mirror stage isn't about proving others wrong

It's about proving yourself right

It's about standing in front of your reflection looking yourself in the mirror and saying I'm not there yet but I am one step closer to him

I am becoming him

And that that's more than enough

When I look back at it all the lonely chapter taught me how to be with myself

And it stripped away everything and everybody that I thought I needed until the only voice that was left was mine

And like I said before the silence broke absolutely brutal but it was also the foundation that was needed

It's where I Learned that solitude isn't punishment

It's more of preparation

It's that fire that forges you quietly when no one is watching when no one claps

And then came this mirror stage that I'm telling you guys about the moment when you finally face yourself after all that silence no filters no audience no pretending just the truth

And that's when you start to realize that most people don't care

And honestly that is a gift because once you stop living for other people's approval you start living for your own purpose

You stop trying to impress and you start trying to improve

You stop chasing the world applause you start chasing your own standard

The only chapter built your strength the mirror stage built your conviction

And together they show you what's real that it's never been about being light

It's always been about being whole becoming your whole true self

So wherever you are right now in the quiet in the grind in the reflection don't rush through it

Don't do what I've done

Don't rush it

You're exactly what you need to be

So sit in it and let it marinate a little bit because this is where the real work happens

Not in the noise not in the spotlight but right here when it's just you and the mirror

You know how in the mirror you finally start to recognize the person looking back

Not because everything is perfect

Matter of fact everything's far from perfect but because the noise gets quite enough for you to be able to hear your own voice

Again that was a mirror stage

And right here is where we admit and realize something very simple very annoying but very true

Nothing lasts forever

When you're on top of the world it won't be forever

When the world is on top of you it still won't be forever

The season always turns

And honestly I just I used to hate that man I used to hate that

I wanted more permanents

I wanted a finish line that stay finish

I didn't want to keep moving that fucking goalpost

But life isn't a trophy case

It's more of a garden

There's planting there's pruning there's storms that make you question if anything's gonna grow again

And then somehow you get sprouts

The lonely chapter taught me that the prize of entry is solitude

The mirror sage taught me to stop borrowing my reflection from others people's eyes and other people's thoughts

This chapter is where I learn to stop arguing with these seasons because this is where wisdom lies in seeing the cycle before the cycle sees you

You know when I was taking these notes and I wrote down nothing last forever you know it kind of sounds like this bumper sticker thing

Like you know you know when I was taking these notes and then I wrote this nothing lasts forever line it honestly sounded like something that you would put on your bumper like a bumper sticker until you actually operate

Like it's true when you're up you hold the wind with open arms

When you're down you don't cement your identity in wet concrete either way

You stop making forever claims about temporary weather

There were times in business where I felt untouchable top of the world euphoric as Fuck Phone Ringing Calendar was full the team was good doing good the numbers up into the right

And I told myself fuck it's finally working

I figured it out

Then a week later you get complaints people stop showing up there's invoice delays

And I told myself man fuck I'm an idiot

Neither was actually true

I was just living inside of a season and pretending it was like this kind of personality test

The skill is this

Don't confuse momentum with character and don't confuse a slump with truth to

Season always turns you know this whole concept of war in vatries

This is actually just saying that like hey we love highlight reels the overnight successes the explosive growth right hundred percent 1,000 x

But if I'm honestly the winds but if I'm honest the winds that actually changed my life were the very very boring ones

No confetti just quiet consistency

Boring victories achieve no fanfare but they're even more meaningful

The email you send even though you feel awkward the call you return when you rather hide that workout you do on a Tuesday with no camera rolling when you're tired as fuck the budget you stick to when you the budget you stick to when you're tempted to flex because everything is going right

These are the bricks that absolutely no one sees you lay down and no one claps for them and the exact bricks that everything else stands on

I think about moments I didn't want to show up to the job or moments where I just kind of want to lay in bed but I still did

Nobody posted about that

Nobody was flexing nobody DM me bro that was fucking inspiring as hell

But those are the small hinges that swing big doors

If you wait for applause to validate effort you'll abandon the process completely

You would abandon the process that would have made you worthy of that applause

Boring victories are grown up wins

So it's something to think about

Now let me introduce you to this little chap that I've lived in for way too long

And honestly I'm kind of still in but I'm starting to figure out the root cause

And that is second order emotions

First order of emotions you feel something you either feel like tired anxious jealous overwhelmed

Second or emotions from that is you feel something about the feeling

You feel shame for being anxious you feel guilt for being tired you feel embarrassment for being jealous

Now you're not just carrying the weight you're carrying the weight of carrying the weight which is kind of insane if you think about it

So you have to avoid the second order of emotions

It's like running with a backpack full of rods that you yourself put there

You're human

You're allowed to feel things without prosecuting yourself for having a nervous system

So when your first feelings show up just let it be

You know say hi

Don't hand it at least

Like don't be so anxious of letting those feelings go

Just sit in it

Let it be

Because the moment you start to judge the feeling you stop learning from it right

You kind of have to sit through and understand why am I feeling like this

What has happened that made me feel like this

And why am I reacting to it that way

And feelings especially those uncomfortable ones are most likely feedbacks rather than verdicts

So it's something again to think about

There's this simple test that resets me whenever I'm spiraling

If you had a child going through what you're going through would you beat them up or would you hug them

Obviously if you're not a horrible psychotic person you already know the answer

You will hug them

You will tell them that everything's okay and that there didn't do anything wrong

You tell them that it's okay to be scared it's okay to be disappointed it's okay to be angry

And you would celebrate that they have tried and you will sit with them long enough for that wave of emotions to pass by and then you would help them do the necessary things to take the next step

So why don't you do that with yourself

Why don't you hug you

This is not a soft

This is not being weak

This is letting yourself off the fucking hook because you are your own worst critic and not even the worst of the worst like the absolute epitome of the worst credit of yourself

It's how you stop wasting yours it's how you stop wasting your energy on self cruelty and spend it on the action that changes everything right

So hug yourself

It's okay to feel things

So here is the rule that I'm living by now

I should judge myself based on my actions not my thoughts

Thoughts are like the weather and actions are like architecture

You felt bad you still did the thing that counts

It counts way more than you might even realize

Doing the thing in spite of not feeling like you want to do the thing deserves praise

People think that motivation is gasoline and we've talked about it before

It's not

It's just the spark

It's the starter fuel

Discipline is the actual engine that moves the car that moves the thing that moves you towards your destination

And following this analogy I used to sit in the driveway waiting to feel like driving and then I would wonder why I never left the neighborhood

Now I turn the key even when I don't feel like it and something funny happens

Feelings catch up to behavior way more often than behavior catches up to feelings

Now let's talk about this like very very very sneaky poison for not feeling gratefulness

You know that script I have a roof I have work have people who love me

Why do I still feel bad

Why do I still feel so heavy

And then you shame yourself for not being more appreciative

Why like not saying thank you for those little things those little things that other people would just absolutely die for kill for

And that's the second or that's second order of emotions dressed in like a whole fucking tuxedo

Gratitude is not a weapon you beat yourself with

It's more like a lens

Some days you pick it up and everything brightens some days the lens is way more foggy

That doesn't mean that you're ungrateful

It just means that you're fucking human

Like practice gratitude don't perform it

If anything gratitude is more honest when it coexist with pain

This hurts me

And here's something small I'm thankful for

Both can absolutely be true

The season always turns but you don't have to deny the weather while that season's there

So let me ask you this real quick

If every big period of your life has germinated from your lowest points would you have avoided them

And this is a question that I ask myself a lot almost every single day

When a deal fell through that I thought would absolutely change the business when I felt misunderstood by people I wanted approval from whenever I question myself whether I should even be doing any of this those moments honestly felt like the end right

And looking back they're more like root systems

Seed doesn't germinate from seed doesn't germinate on a Mountain Top right

It cracks open underground dark cramped forgotten deaf before height always

And dude if you're in the valley I'm not romanticizing it in any way shape or form

I know it hurts

I also know that the value is where you find water

You learn who you are before anybody starts clapping

You learn what you value when all that cheap stuff gets washed away

And later and later people will point out at your rice but you'll know the rice started all the way down in that valley in the dirt

In retrospect the struggle will strike to you as more beautiful

This is something again that I listen to at Chris's show

And honestly I didn't believe that the first time I heard it beauty like this struggle is beautiful

And then time did what time does best

It reveal edges and patterns I couldn't see up close

The hardest scenes got reframed as turning points

I started seeing the purpose behind all that pain

The boring victories formed this backbone and the lonely knights became and those lonely nights became training montages that were actually months and years

It's not so much that the pain becomes any fun

It's that the pain becomes more meaningful

And meaning is a form of beauty just like purpose

One day you're gonna look back at this version of you in the current moment the one that doubts the one that's trying the one that's showing up slipping showing up again

And you feel a kind of tenderness that you can't access right now because you're in the thick of it

And you'll be proud of how you kept the promise to yourself when there was no external reason to how you kept going

And that pride will not be loud it'll be quiet

It'll be solid

It'll be earned

And there's only one person in this world that will know that and that's you

And that's the only person that you need to prove anything to yourself

So now let me let me get personal for a second again

Um there was a stretch where I felt like I was underwater business uncertain relationships strained body was tired

I would just kind of lay in bed and think I should be more grateful

And I felt worse for not fucking feeling like gratefulness

So I would open my phone kind of just do scrolling hoping for a sign of something

And then you know usually I got someone else's highlight realize I was scrolling cause that's kind of what happens

And you know you know what got me through that

It was not a motivational speech not a windfall

It was those small boring things I talked about showing up to the gym and doing 70 instead of 0% calling a customer bag even though it might be a little bit awkward and they might not wanna hear from me

Eating a decent meal instead of numbing out and not eating

Writing down three things that I did that day right

I would writing down three things that I did that day

What did I actually accomplish that day

And counting that as my little ones

Hugging myself not literally hugging myself but the way that you would a kid you know by telling myself hey you're allowed to be here and we're still moving

It's okay to feel what you're feeling because you're still doing the thing

Honestly I don't know who needs to hear this but you are still there

Not the brand not the role you that part that's quiet and stubborn and knows when you're lying to yourself it hasn't left

It's just under a few layers of noise and pressure

If you get still enough you'll feel it and if you act long enough you'll prove it

So let me give you a few tips on how to go through these seasons of changes

If you're on a high season hold your wins with humility right

Stay humble let your highs be a little bit lower and let your lows be a little bit higher

Keep your routines boring right

Don't do anything novel like just keep it repetitive keep it boring you know because you're in such a high you don't wanna add more high cause then the crash is gonna be absolutely insane

Keep your grad to real not performative be really

Think about what you're grateful for and be grateful for that even when things crash especially when it's hot

And remember this this is a season seasons turn over this not some kind of coronation

You're not sculpting yourself into like a forever win

This is not permanent at all

Now on the opposite side if you're in a low reduce your second order of emotions right

Third don't give yourself a shame tax

Judge your actions not your thoughts one single break at a time

Give yourself a hug just like you would a child

And trust that your roots your core your fundamentals your fundamentals are growing when you can't see them

If you're somewhere in the middle coasting plateauing this might be the most dangerous season because nothing feels really urgent

That's where you commit to your fundamentals sleep movement honest conversations clean books clear priorities you strengthen the floor so the next ceiling has something to stand on when you move up in the world

Now I actually wrote down this little short Marsha for you guys

So bear with me real quick when it's incredible this is not forever saver steward stay humble when it's unbearable this is not forever breathe move stay present when it's ordinary this is not forever build refine stay faithful the season always turns

So here is where this chapter lands gently

You don't have to love every single part of the journey to keep walking

Matter of fact you won't and you'll actually hate most of the journey you know but uh you also don't have to feel grateful to do something worth being grateful for

You don't have to eradicate doubt to practice courage

You only have to be the person that shows up

That's all you have to do

Show up especially when the victory is brewing especially when the feeling isn't there and especially when the crowd is quiet

You're not behind you're not late

You're in a season and the season always always always turns

So when you wake up tomorrow maybe the world feels on top of you maybe you feel on top of the world

Either way place your attention where your feet are

Do the next right small boring thing

Speak to yourself like you're someone you're responsible for

Think the past version of you that kept you going long enough to deliver you to where you are right now

And smile just a little

Add the mystery of how it all came to fucking be because one day you're gonna look back at this exact moment in time

That's where the roots took

That's where the foundation was built

And you'll know that it was true all along

You were still in there

And the season always turns

There's this concept that I have toy with a little bit

Men need to accumulate enough man points before they can open up about their emotions

And honestly that's kind of like what we tell ourselves anyway

It's like you can't show emotions or you can't show any kind of weakness until you've earned the right to show

You need to prove that you can take hits before anyone takes her softness seriously

And for a long while I believe that too

I thought that you had to bleed first financially physically emotionally before you could even think about saying I'm not okay

Because in this world especially specifically as a man your value seems to depend on what you can endure what you can provide not necessarily what you feel but what you can carry

But there's a strange moment that comes after you've carried it for too long

You start to realize that the armor you built to survive becomes a very thing that isolates you

You're surrounded by people who see your strength but not your exhaustion

They cheer for the winds but they don't see the toll

And maybe that's our fault because we don't show it

We were never taught how to we were taught to provide to endure to push through to be a man

But we were never taught to let go how to say this hurts without losing man points or without losing respect

When I started my business I wanted to be that guy that never broke no bad days no excuses just results constant results

But when things finally started going well when I hit those goals that I would dream about and I would prove for myself that's when I realized something that I honestly didn't expect

I wasn't happier I was just busier

I had achieved everything that I thought would bring me peace and instead I just found new problems dressed in better clothes

You must not outsource your self worth to the crowd because crowds are fickle

They'll treat you like a king until you mess up right

It's like you can do the best thing best work in the world for a very long time and then the moment you mess up once they'll behave you in the same breath that they used to praise you

And it's insane honestly

If your piece depends on any kind of applause you'll never stop performing

At some point you have to stop chasing the validation and start chasing meaning that we talked about before

Because any pursuit that you love will eventually turn into labor

And that's not failure

That's just nature

That's how it goes

The things that once gave you butterflies will overtime demand discipline

Your dream becomes a job but that's what separates the boys from the men staying in love with the labor

When the romance fades you don't get to avoid the wait

You just get to choose what's worth carrying

Try as hard as you can at one thing for a very long time and then see what happens

Cause most people never do

They want to dabble just enough to avoid any kind of disappointment to avoid failure but never enough to risk greatness

Because effort guarantees pain and ignorance is very bliss

So the question becomes what pain are you willing to live with

What struggle are you willing to sign up for every single day even when it stops being fun

Because if you can find meaning in the struggle it stops being punishment

It becomes more like purification

Take the thing that poisons you the doubt the pressure the expectations and turn it into a tonic that you can gargle and swallow

Let it harden your spirit not your heart

And honestly that's when it all hit me

Your heroes aren't gods

They're just people who got really good at one thing by rejecting everything else

And that realization is heavy because once you see it you can't really unsee it

The people you admire the ones that the ones who look like they have it all together

They're often holding it together with the same kind of tape that you're holding yourself together

They've just Learned how to make it look cleaner

You realize that every crown is heavy and the people wearing them they're not immune to doubt

They just got really used to carrying it

And that's one another truth hit

It was like a one two hit combo

You know what I mean

We often tell ourselves that happiness lives on the other side of achievement

You've already achieved the goals that you once prayed for

You've already crossed the lines that you said will make you content that will make you happy

And still your happiness is faded

Where has it gone

Where's all this happiness that you promised yourself

And honestly what does that tell you

That the finish line keeps moving

The coldpost is forever moving

That happiness isn't something you get to

It's more of something that you notice sometimes

You just you don't need more

You just need to remember there's a strange shift that happens when scarcity turns into opportunity

When you're no longer firing and also nurse to survive but more like to sustain you think that will make life easier but it doesn't

It just replaces desperation with pressure

And somehow problems of abundance can still break you in quieter ways

Everything will be fine even if you don't believe yourself

Because you don't need to believe in yourself to keep going

You just need to keep going

You know faith doesn't always sound like confidence

Sometimes it sounds like exhaustions whispering one more day you can believe that you are worth your things and still get them because worthiness is a feeling

It's not a law

It's not a rule that you have to live by

And life doesn't wait for you to feel ready

So I'll ask you this

When things go right when life starts paying off is your feeling happiness or is your feeling fear

Because if it's fear fear that it all might fall apart then maybe you haven't Learned to receive what you've earned

Maybe part of growing isn't just building strength it's learning how to stop fighting once you've won

And honestly that's a lesson that I haven't Learned yet

And it's probably the lesson that will change everything

And that's the weight of the crown

It's the burden of wanting more even after you've gone everything you said you wanted

It's a realizing that peace isn't found in perfection but in presence

That masculinity isn't silence

It's not holding your feelings back

It's not like just hiding in a corner with all of your doubts with all your fears with everything that makes you sad with like you're not okay mindset

It's more of that self control

It's that allowing to feel things and giving the Grace to be able to talk about those things with someone that trusts and for having the faith that they're gonna listen

It's about having that self control over your own fucking emotions when you're sad when you're mad when you're happy when you're high when you're low everything self control is masculinity

You don't let these things that you feel control you and make you feel more things second hand second order of emotions

When you control yourself and you don't feel any second order of emotions and you just accept and work on how is that you see yourself how is that you see others how is that you treat others how is that you're gonna react or act towards how you're feeling

That in itself is masculinity and success isn't happiness

It's responsibility right

You're responsible for people you're responsible for the work that you do you're responsible for your own well being you're responsible for the people that depend on you

That is what success is

And the moment you stop chasing applause and start changing meaning the weight of that crown will finally feel like it fits and we have finally arrived

Each season of the journey strips you down and it rebuilds you and it humbles you in very very different ways

You go from solitude to reflection from reflection to acceptance from acceptance to the truth

And when it's all said and done you realize that there was never really an ending just on the beginning

Shaped by who you've become and directed by who you are going to be who you want to be

Because maybe I don't know sometimes maybe the journey isn't about becoming more

Maybe it's about becoming enough

And in that quiet realization you finally set the crown down

Thank you so much for listening and for watching

It really does mean the world to us and we really appreciate every single one of you who sticks around all the way until the end

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And until next time see you guys.