I could justify that away, driving in a blackout

of not even being conscious.

I could have hit somebody and I was not drinking.

There was no drinking involved.

And that's when I did, I am a very spiritual person and I said,

God, I am too young to live the rest of my life unconscious.

I wanna live a conscious, I wanna feel my life.

Hello everyone.

Welcome to Seek Go Create.

This is your host, Tim Winders.

We've gotta have a great conversation today about how to be a better

communicator, primarily from stage and in front of cameras and things like that.

But I think a lot of it's gonna relate to everyday communication,

so I'm excited about that.

Our guest has written a book about it and she is a pro, no doubt about it.

Just wanna remind you, I'm Tim Winds, your host here.

I'm an executive coach.

I work with leaders and leadership teams, also an author, and

I'm excited to be here today.

I'm bundled up.

Woke up this spring day in the RV visiting our grandkids, and there was

four inches of snow on the ground.

So little bit chilly here.

I might be bouncing a little bit.

My toes are a little bit chilled, but, I'm gonna tough it out for you, the audience.

As the host here at Seat Go Create today we have Greta Mueller as our guest.

She's a seasoned speaker coach with over 24 years of experience in empowering

professionals and non-professionals.

Through her unique methodology developed from her extensive career, and she's

got quite the resume as an actor, spokeswoman, and talent coach for

television, news and sports anchors.

Greta, welcome to Seek, go Create.

Thank you, Tim.

My pleasure to be here.

I'm glad you're here too.

I'm excited to find out a little bit more about, how you work

with people that, are on the tv.

That's exciting.

I read some of that in your book and all that, and she does have this book that

I just finished opening your presence.

but we'll talk about that in just a moment.

But, first Greta, we just bump into each other somewhere, or we just meet

on Zoom, or we're at a conference or something, and I ask you what you do.

What do you typically tell people?

My mission is to encourage and nurture creatively as, best I can.

People's individuality, their authenticity, remove any barriers they

have between them and their audience.

I always say audience, although that could be one person, it could

be a professional situation, or it could be that you are asking your

spouse to unload the dishwasher.

how do you do it most authentically and, personally for you?

if it's me getting asked to unload the dishwasher, it's yes

dear, whatever you need me to do.

And I'm the official dishwasher.

And the unfortunate thing is we do not have a dishwasher, or as

my wife says, I am the dishwasher.

It's my husband, Tim.

So anyway, there's not a dishwasher in the RV here.

that's really good.

I love how you tied that all together, because I wanna make sure people

listening in this, we're gonna have some conversation for people that

might be what I'll call stage people.

the people that are gonna be in front, their call to make

presentations, things like that.

But the thing I loved about the book is I just saw all types of

communications skills and interaction.

And there's, and there's one other thing.

in fact, I wanna jump in on this first.

Okay.

It's been a long time, and I'm like a product of

the seventies, eighties, nineties.

It's been a long time since I've seen someone have some

discussion about clothing.

What you wear, how you present the book is presence, but how you

present yourself in front of people.

And so I'm, I'm real curious, maybe it's because of the television aspect and all,

but why did you tie that in appearance?

Because there's a lot of people that they would like to tell us

that none of that matters anymore.

And I don't agree with it.

But tell why'd you bring all that into the, to the book.

The truth is it does matter.

Our criteria has changed in this day and age.

However, the visual is the strongest impression you'll make.

It is the longest lasting impression you make.

If the visual of a message is in disagreement with the audio,

people will go with the visual.

If you seem confused, I said, seem, you appear confused,

doubtful, angry, frustrated.

if that's how that is coming across, and yet you're speaking about confidence

and courage, the people are gonna doubt the message and go with the visual.

And so appearance is the strongest message we send.

And so it's not about looking beautiful, looking like a fashion model.

It is looking appropriate for the situation.

And I believe in this instance, appropriate means respectful.

You are respecting the guidelines.

I would not walk into someone's, funeral looking like I was just washing the car.

No more than people who would walk into the all you can eat

barbecue place with peanuts on the floor, dressed in an evening gown.

People are going to stare.

And so how we dress is the first step we take to prepare ourselves

for what is in front of us.

You know, the fascinating thing about that, and I, and I love,

starting with this little bit of a conversation because I, again, I

haven't just heard a lot of people talk about this recently, and I do,

and I don't know if I'm old school.

I do think it's important.

I mean, I still remember reading in the early nineties, dress for Success

I was in business and speaking and with leadership.

I actually taught, how to speak in front of folks for corporate

people and things like that myself.

We'll have some fun with that in a little bit, but I remember feeling

pretty darn important when I would put on that tie and suit and all that.

now I'm of the age where I, I'm for I fortunately or unfortunately just

Don't care as much.

And some people might be sort of like me, but, I like having the conversation,

Greta, because I think some people show up and they wonder why things

don't go well right from the start.

As much as we would love to say, thou shall not judge.

We all judge.

Correct.

And it doesn't necessarily mean judge in a negatively manner.

Oh, you're a horrible person.

But they judge, make an assessment based on what they see, which is why in the

book there are five A's that you prepare for appearance being the first one, being

mindful of your actions, the way you, use your hands, your body, et cetera.

Audio, what you say, attitude, how you feel about it.

All of that should be geared towards the audience.

Here's the deal.

If you're the one selling something could be an idea.

I want my spouse to load the dishwasher.

It's a concept.

Doesn't have to be a product.

You're kind of selling something.

How hard do you wanna make them work?

To buy whatever it is you're selling, so you're gonna gear your delivery to

that person, however, you never lie.

So I'm, I would never say, oh, you have to say X, Y, Z or act like this

because you're addressing this person.

But you do wanna show respect and concern for that person.

And so finding within yourself a real, a genuine part of your personality that can

gear yourself to that person is a very appropriate, in my opinion, way of acting.

I'll tell you my line of thought and you can chime in

and tell me if, how this works out.

I always wanted to be relatable.

That's a weird word, but, and when I was doing business stuff, I always

wanted to be, this was when I was younger again, when I'm older, I

have a little bit less of a care.

I think people can conform to me Now, that's not a good thing.

Well, you could address that later if you need to.

for example, if I was around a group of, let's just call it blue collars that

were primarily in t-shirts and jeans, I wouldn't walk in with my three piece suit.

I would want to be maybe one notch above them.

Maybe a collared shirt, maybe a collared golf type shirt.

if I was around people in casual type business attire, I might wear

a dress shirt with a little bit of press to it starch back then.

I don't like starch now.

And then if I was around people in dress shirts or something,

I'd probably put a tie on.

I can't remember when I've had a tie on, but, how's that for a rule of thumb?

and you know what, it's sometimes different for men than women,

but, that's what I tried to do.

How, what does that sound like?

One thing that you said that really resonates with me is the one step

above, if you're the person, performing, let's say you're speaking, you're selling,

that one step above, you're not trying to overdo it and you know you're bringing

out your three piece suit with the tie.

If you're speaking to, let's say a group of farmers, I think you had turned them

off immediately because it's, it again, does it come from a genuine place?

Are you trying to impress or are you trying to relate?

I love the word relatable because I agree.

However that one step above is exactly right.

Hmm.

you mentioned I travel to television stations, so I travel a lot.

I am often in a taxi.

I ask the taxi driver quite often, do you watch television news?

Who's your favorite sportscaster, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

Hey, this is a taxi driver.

Depending on where I'm in.

Hey, I'm sh Chicago.

They're gonna tell me who their guy is.

I don't care who that taxi driver is, man, woman.

It is amazing to me how often they comment on how they dress.

Well, I love that guy's.

Ties isn't the best ties.

This man is not wearing a tie.

However, they're relating to that person, even if it's, oh, he's so important.

He travels around and he meets these important people.

So of course he dresses like that.

the number one comment in, social media or texts, emails that

anchors get, are on their wardrobe.

it's a fact.

Interesting.

I want to go there in a little while cuz I want to know a little

bit of behind the curtain in these newsrooms and things like that because

I think that'll be fascinating.

But I wanna get to know Greta a little bit more here and find out

how you came to be who you are.

Have you always been one that gravitated towards a speaker or getting up in

front of people and, and sharing?

I read where you come from, a family of storytellers.

So tell us a little bit about Greta.

The early years

Well, let's just say I was not a shy child.

really, I'm shocked.

Uh, shocking.

But I, I didn't put two and two together for a very, very long time.

I, was the star of the third grade play because I played the

angel in the Christmas scene who appears low and behold.

I bring you tidings of great joy.

And my teacher said, come with me.

And she brought me around to the other classrooms of our age and

she said, do that speech for them.

And I didn't understand, oh, I'm good at this.

I'm a good performer.

She's doing this because, but in high school, yes, I gravitated toward the

speech department communications, speech tournaments, and we would perform.

And then it was time to go to college.

And I had two wonderful parents who did not go to college.

They were unable to really help me in that area.

My teacher kept me after school and she said, okay, gre, it's time for college.

What, what are you gonna do?

And I said, I'm gonna be a teacher.

I'm gonna be an English teacher like her.

She was my favorite teacher.

She was like, uh, not just, no, no.

And.

She said, Greta, you're gonna study theater and you're gonna be an

actress because I see it in you.

I think you have it.

And on her advice, I changed my whole college plan, majored in theater.

And at the age of 18, I was noticed by Paramount Studios.

My picture was in the New Orleans paper.

I was called in to audition for a movie called Pretty Baby with Susan Sarandon

and her name just Brook Shields.

And I got the part and I meet the director.

I'm 18 years old.

I never dreamed this would be my life, yada, yada, yada.

And it's, oh, and by the way, you have to do a nude scene.

Is that a problem?

I was like, oh, it, it's a problem.

I was 18.

I said, it's, it's legal.

I, I said, but I can't do that.

My mom and dad are gonna see this show.

And a lot of other people probably.

Oh my gosh.

Anyway, I fell, it's almost like everything in my life I sort of

fell into it, but I said, yes, I'll try it, except for that one.

I said, no.

So that's kind of how I got into it.

And instead of going into theater, I got into television and, I, I loved it and I

did commercials, all kinds of great stuff.

And then right around the time I was 38, turning 40 a woman's career changes.

It just does, you're too old to play this.

You're too young to play that.

My career was changing and my phone rang and it was this broadcast coaching

company saying I had been recommended.

Would I consider coaching broadcast news, weather, and sports?

I didn't even know it was a job.

I was like, did these people not know what they're doing already?

But the truth of the matter is they do.

It's the objectivity they lack.

Once they've been on the news or whether sports for a long time, how

do they stay at the top of their game?

How do they maintain that edge when it's the most natural

thing in the world to them?

Same thing.

They're brand new, they're outta school.

They've got their first on-air job.

audioGretaMuller11641321672 00:15:23

Everything

feels horrible, weird.

Out of the bo, you know, they need coaching to help

them navigate those waters.

And I'm just very, very fortunate.

I said, yes, I interviewed, I got the job.

And I loved it because now I was the teacher I always wanted to be.

And I could combine my experience as a performer reading teleprompter.

With the love of teaching and mentoring people, which is how I see myself more as

a mentor, trusted advisor than a coach.

Yeah, I, I love the coach thing.

That's what I am.

And I always wanted to be a teacher and a coach growing up, similar to

your English teacher telling you.

And I had a conversation with my parents and found out how much money they made.

I went, Ooh, I don't think I wanna do that.

I wanna do something else.

But everything in my life, I migrated back to teacher,

coach, trainer things like that.

I'm guessing a lot of people have never even thought that the people

that are behind or in front of the cameras doing the news in

the evening and all have coaches.

I think th this is the perception.

I think a lot of 'em think, and I'm gonna mention this, it'll sound a little bit

snarky, but you can help me out here.

I think a lot of people think it's just people that look really, really good.

That can read well.

And that's what I'm trying to coach against.

Ah, okay.

I think we can all do a pretty fair, imitation of an anchor.

they have a certain read, I think that's changed in recent years,

but there's still that forced, they punch a weird word that's unnatural.

It's not quite the word you would normally do in conversation.

And so there's a lot of imitating going on.

But especially now, there is more of the emphasis on talking, being more relatable,

conversational, how to get rid of that false anchor, read and talk to people.

And, I've been, I, I've been doing this a long time.

I've been trying to do that for 30 years of trying to get people to let go of some

of that and become more conversational.

I think one of the things for, we travel quite a bit, and so if

there are people that are listening in and they live in Atlanta or New York

or LA they probably watch, if they watch their local news, they probably

watch some people that are, let's just say, pretty high up in the skillset

and abilities and things like that.

the larger major markets.

But we travel to a lot of the smaller markets, and we're not gonna name

any names right here, but I see some people that are at the, let's just call

it the lower echelons of local news.

And you see some interesting stuff.

What, who all, what type people, what stations, and you don't

have to give exact, but what type station are you working with?

The big ones, the mid, the, the lower.

All of those.

Who all are you working with in that area?

All of the above.

I actually have two top 10 markets right now.

yesterday I was on a, network assignment, so I was at the network level.

I actually love coaching the small, small markets.

They're eager, they want to learn.

They're fresh out of school.

They're just trying to learn.

They eat it up.

It's harder at a network level or, definitely a top 10 market.

They're at the top of their game and so you spend time developing trust.

I'm not here to change you.

I'm not here to fix you because you're so awful.

You wouldn't be here if you were awful.

And, there's a lot of mistrust, I guess, because they didn't hire me.

That individual didn't hire me.

Their boss did, or the network hired me.

And so when the individual hires me, they're having trouble with an issue, they

come and find me and they're all ears.

I mean, they're ready to learn.

If you're just assigned to somebody, that is a great deal of my job.

And so I always say, I'm not gonna try to tell you how to be an anchor.

I don't know how to be an anchor.

I played one on tv, but I don't know how to do the real job.

But I do know a camera, I do know teleprompter.

I know audience.

I've learned a lot since I've been in the business.

and what you are doing is developing a relationship, which is true

in any, coaching, a c e O or coaching a mid-level, manager.

You have an audience and you are trying to develop a

relationship, not talk at people.

I think that's the value that we all have, and I think everyone needs

to improve on this skill, the ability to relate and interact with other people.

I just had a thought that came to mind and I do not watch a lot of television, when I

see it, it's just glimpses here or there.

But I was recently in Atlanta, we were visiting my wife's mother

and trying to do some, tending to some health issues she had.

And in her building downstairs, in the mornings, they had coffee and they

had the, this is gonna date myself.

It's not Regis and Kathy Lee anymore.

It's Kelly and it was, Ryan was on it, but I think he was about to be leaving.

And her husband's on it now.

Yeah, he's the one that came.

Yeah.

I haven't seen him, but I was watching and I don't even think the sound was fully

on, Greta, but it was fascinating to me.

I we're gonna talk about some of your as here in a little while, body language

and appearance and things like that.

I was just watching their body language and I'm sure that they had

some form of either a teleprompter or a script or something like that.

However, it was so relaxing.

I felt as if.

And this is probably why they're so successful at what they do.

I felt as if I was sitting there having coffee with them, they had

their little mugs, their, whatever the show is and all of that kind of stuff.

and I've wondered are I think they're doing more of that even with

the broadcast news, attempting to have more conversational, but yet

it's still scripted, teleprompted.

And maybe you could give us a, behind the scenes, how much are they reading

off teleprompters and how much are they going at just having conversations?

Is that something that, is that even the right question?

I understand exactly what you're saying.

I wish there was an answer.

It is.

the answer to it is as varied as there are markets.

the news in Little Rock, Arkansas, which is, top 30 market, I think, is quite

different than what you're gonna find.

Chicago, Philadelphia, Rhode Island, going up the East Coast, San Francisco.

What is the style and energy?

Is it your hometown news team or is it where news comes first?

We are your news source.

Ba ba, ba ba.

Hit it, hit it, hit it.

Short, short, short video out.

You know, or do we let them take time telling a story?

Do you ever watch, c b s Sunday Morning, that program, c b s, Sunday Morning?

It, it, it's been a long time.

Was that the old one with, this is gonna date myself bad Charles Caral and

Charles Carralt.

Yes it is.

That was probably years ago, right?

it's a c b s news product.

However, every story is allowed, 7, 10, 15 minutes to evolve.

And on a local news program, you have 30 seconds.

You better hit it, get in there and get out.

what you're saying or what you're asking about, it depends on the type

of, is it five o'clock or 10 o'clock?

Is it six o'clock or 11?

It depends on the newscast, who the audience is at that time.

Mornings or more conversational for sure.

but there is no one set answer.

So part of my job is going in and saying, you tell me what's the style, what's the

culture and the feel, the personality.

And if there's three or four of the networks that are in that

market, each one of them may have something that separates them out.

Some of it might be a little more folksy, homey, and, some of it might be a little

more professional, fast hitting it.

So anyway, that's good to know.

But before we go too much farther, and we're gonna go into some

things related to the book.

I've got some highlights and things that I wanna cover.

one of our taglines here at Seek Go Create Greta, is redefining success and we leave

it fairly broad in, leadership or business or ministry or something like that.

One of the things that I'd like to do before we get too much farther and

that we were going over your story and got off onto the, the news and things

like that, I would like to know a time back kinda looking back in your life

that you've gone through either a jolt or a catalytic event or something.

It sounds like it could have been at that 38, 40 years old, which probably just a

couple years ago for you, I'm guessing.

But something that forced you to redefine success.

and I also read a little bit of your background.

I know you had some, we don't shy away from really challenging

things too here on the show.

is there a, something you could think of that you could share with myself and

the audience that you had to redefine what success looked like to you?

You thought it was one thing, you went through something or decided to make a

change and then found out it was this.

So redefining success.

Share something related to that before we dive into the book.

A little bit more.

For me, someone who, I was always encouraged to work, go to

college, even from the south, where many, women were just go marry somebody.

Just make sure he makes a good living

Taken care of, they were well taken care of.

Well taken care of.

I remember I was very young, six, seven years old, and I'd said to my mom, I

said, I don't think I want children.

And she said, well, then honey don't have 'em.

And I don't know why I even came up with that.

I mean, I'm six years old, what do I know about it?

But it turned out to be a very consistent theme for me that

I was more of a career person.

So that career meant, I was top of my field.

I was well respected, I was making a good living.

I owned my own home, drove a nice car, et cetera, et cetera.

Well, I had all of those things.

And to do that, I had to be on the road, traveling away from home

by myself, over 200 days a year.

And in all of that, and I'll date myself, this goes back to the nineties,

we traveled with big heavy briefcases cuz it was filled with videotapes

and my computer and all this stuff.

And my shoulder had been killing me and killing me.

And I swung that big old thing and I heard a crack.

And I have never been in so much pain in my life.

I had broken my neck and I didn't even know it.

It was a Friday afternoon.

I was headed back to Dallas and I had to get through the weekend.

And by the time I got to Monday, I was almost hysterical because.

Silly me go to an emergency room.

oh, I don't wanna bother anybody.

I plugged through.

Plugged through.

I went to see my doctor.

She slapped a neck brace on me and she said, I think you broke your neck.

And I'm like, please, that kills you.

She said, not necessarily.

So if this is the vertebrae, in your neck between the fifth and

sixth it popped, cracked this bone.

I had to have eight hour neck surgery.

They replaced it.

Do you want cadaver or plastic?

And I took a cadaver and I have a rod in my neck.

And in that moment of six weeks flat on my back in this thing, I rethought my

life and I realized I love what I did.

I did not like the way it was going.

Why do I have to travel?

230 days a year how do I make a living without all this travel?

And I went to my company and I said, I would like to open the New York office

of our company, because all of my clients were on the upper East Coast.

I was told, no, it's a Texas company.

It's Texas based.

Everybody lives here.

And I said, great.

I understand.

And I tendered my resignation and we had a six month window.

you had to give six months notice.

I was the first person that did not get escorted to the door when

they quit because I was actually booked four months in advance.

So what were they gonna do?

And so I moved to New York.

I changed my life completely without a job And I had a non-compete for two years,

so I couldn't keep coaching broadcast people and I had to reinvent myself.

And that was the big change for me.

So breaking your neck will do all kinds of things to you?

Have you ever thought about what would happen had you

not broken your neck, would you still be traveling 200 days a year?

Would you continue doing that.

No, I think I would've broken because I had

been saying, I'm at my end.

I, I can't keep doing this, I can't keep doing this.

And actually, do you know, the thing that actually got me is I, I was all healed.

I'm back at work, I'm traveling, I'm doing my thing.

And, I drove to the grocery store.

And the grocery store was three minutes from my condo and I had a little back way

to get there, got my car, drove there, parked the car, lock it, I'm, I'm walking.

And all of a sudden I stopped in my tracks.

I did not remember driving there.

I drove in a blackout.

I had done it so many times, I could have done it with my eyes closed.

And I did.

That scared me more than the broken neck because the broken neck was an accident.

Could have happened to anyone carrying heavy things.

I could justify that away, driving in a blackout of not even being conscious.

I could have hit somebody and I was not drinking.

There was no drinking involved.

And that's when I did, I am a very spiritual person and I said,

God, I am too young to live the rest of my life unconscious.

I wanna live a conscious, I wanna feel my life.

I wanna see the sunshine.

I wanna know the birds are chirping.

I want to feel my life.

And that's what did it.

And that was the day I went and spoke to my boss and said I had to leave.

the reason that's so cool and not cool at the same time is

because we all know how many people are walking around unconscious.

Literally.

and I'm sure with the work you do, you go in and out of a potentially

high pressure, situations where people are working and they are probably in

that mode where they are going through the process, working their way up.

I look back and I was the same way.

I was go, go, go, my adrenal glands were probably almost, totally tapped out.

I didn't know it because we could always muster up more, right?

we could always do more.

We could always generate some energy and things like that.

and, we convinced ourselves how important we are and how important

it is for us to do what we are doing.

Like no one else can do it.

And I think God's just going, I need you to slow it down a little bit.

Well, that's great to know.

I hated about the broken neck.

It sounds like you're all healed.

You're nodding well and everything

Oh

your mobility good.

I have never had one day of trouble.

Never.

that's miraculous.

That's miraculous there, I believe.

Hallelujah.

Oh, absolutely.

and it's so funny, since that day, my prayer consistently is,

God, just tap me on the shoulder.

I don't need to have my neck broken and to drive the black

out, just tap me on the shoulder.

But yet, I've never had that kind of awakening again.

However, I.

I have found myself in a situation where I thought, how in the world did I get here?

I know better than this, but I'm grateful now that I have the experience and

the age to acknowledge it and stop it.

I had a meeting with a potential new client recently, and I knew the first

meeting didn't go well and I had to take responsibility for my part, but I was

told to prepare for a certain meeting.

I showed up prepared for that meeting, and it was a completely different meeting.

There were five vice presidents and two, this guy, and asking me questions.

I wasn't ready.

I had not done my research.

and I had to say, I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

And.

I'm very fortunate.

They gave me the chance for a second meeting, but it got off to a rocky

start, and I'm experienced enough to know two things were going on.

One, they had a first impression of me and they were being asked to change it.

Do you know how hard that is when you meet someone you are

sure, well, that's an idiot.

She didn't know what she was talking about and now I have to

go back and I have to prove I do.

audioGretaMuller11641321672 00:33:39

You

just didn't let me prepare for the right meeting.

I wasn't asked to the correct meeting, and so I showed up for the correct meeting.

But to change an impression, that's very difficult to do.

So I just called it and I said, I understand you are being asked to

change your opinion from your first opinion, but I do ask that you

give me that opportunity, to prove.

And then the second thing was they, I did not actually fit the norm

of what they were looking for.

I'm, again, I'm too old for this.

I've been doing this way too long and I have learned to say no.

So when they were like, do you even want us as a client?

I said, I want you to have the best coach you can have for your company,

for your situation, for your culture.

If that's not me, I will gracefully accept that and wish you the best

and I'll even help you try to find somebody who is your good fit.

what I want has nothing to do with it.

And I think that shocked them because they're used to people coming in

and pitching, and I want this job.

And it's a, it was a pretty big job.

And as a result, I was given an opportunity to try it.

So they did go with it, but we had to really back flip a little

bit and, and that's tough, but I'm seasoned enough, I'm okay.

If it doesn't go my way, I'm okay if I'm not the coach for it.

Yeah, but a lot of that's because of the journey you've been on.

I hate to use the word we've failed.

That's one of the reasons we, use this term redefining success here,

because I, I think this is a guess.

For us.

But had we had this story of Greta before she broke her neck and, zombie

out on her trip to the grocery store.

you may have tried to, I'll use some terms and I may be wrong in this.

We're speculating, wing it, work your way through it, not step back and admit,

because you know what, I, I think a lot of people, they believe that, and, the

word authenticity and all that comes in, but I think it's very authentic

to admit and very mature to admit.

You know what, I messed up, or, uh, this is not the meeting I was

planning for, or I, I'm not prepared for what we're discussing here.

Can we regroup or do we just need to punt?

and I think that's pretty powerful.

Do you think that, I don't wanna say younger, but pre Greta, the early years

would've, just kept plowing through it.

is that part of your journey?

absolutely.

I've always committed myself to the truth.

I will speak the truth.

If I don't know, I will say I do not know.

however, in my younger days, I probably would've convinced myself I did know

the answer and I might have faked it a little bit and tried to get there.

But I knew better to say, I really am not prepared for this conversation.

I can be prepared.

If I know what's coming, but I think there's great power in saying, I

don't know, and I have accepted jobs that I knew I shouldn't.

it just, something wasn't right and I couldn't put my finger on it,

and I got into it and oh my gosh, a again, biggest mistake I ever made.

I, I love my clients and part of my pillars, I wanna love them.

I wanna love what they do.

I wanna feel good about what they do.

I don't want to name names, but I got a call to, coach the c e o of, a magazine

and I don't know how to describe it.

adult Magazine for men featuring a lot of naked women and,

Okay.

You know what, I, it's just not my job.

I, I don't want to help you speak better about that product.

And that's just me.

And I'm not judging anybody who wants to read it or do it, or

there's a coach out there for you.

And I didn't have to say all that.

I just said, I don't think I'm your coach.

I don't think I'm the right person, to do that.

but I have taken a job with someone who I thought, I am

never gonna please this person.

she was a little too demanding to exact.

I didn't like the way she treated her team.

They seemed a little tense.

They didn't seem free to speak up.

And yet I thought I could change the world.

I'm just gonna go and I'm gonna be so nice.

She's gonna love me.

And she's go, oh no.

She ate me up, spit me out.

But a wonderful thing happened.

We were at a hotel, cuz I believe in the worst possible circumstances,

the most amazing thing can happen.

We were in a hotel getting ready for a big show, big conference,

and it's a union house.

That means you do not move that electrical cord two inches if there is not a

union person in that house to move it.

And 12 hours before her show, she demanded a new set.

Okay?

12 hours, we were going up at 10:00 AM the next day.

That means 10:00 PM I didn't even know how I was gonna do it, but I

was gonna try to make her happy.

And we were, oh my gosh, down to the minute, down to the

minute, down to the minute.

And I needed, I, I think I had a crew of like maybe five or seven people.

All of a sudden I look up at the stage, there's like 30 union guys

up there throwing this setup.

And I turned to the stage manager.

I said, who are these people?

Where did they come from?

I did not authorize this expense.

And he said, grata, they heard you were in trouble.

I was like, oh my God, you And he said, no one likes her.

And if it was her, they weren't gonna do it, but they heard you

were in trouble and they can't.

I was like, oh my gosh.

And I, there wasn't anything I could do for these men.

I mean, I don't control the budget.

I don't, you know, so all I could do was feed them and we had free sandwiches and

we, you know, anyway, they're all coming up going, Greta, we just love you so much.

And they were on their lunch break again, they were breaking their own union rules.

They're not supposed to work on their lunch break.

So even though I accepted it, I got into it, it was a nightmare.

I was gonna cry after this whole thing was over with.

I got to see.

Well, I got to see people act amazingly, but it also provided them

an opportunity to be amazing so that they could feel good, about themselves.

And, and in the end it was one of my favorite experiences

because of that moment.

but if I just thought in the, in the, in the future, I'm not gonna tempt that.

If I don't have a good feeling, I'm

It is interesting how sometimes we know we're moving

down a path and sometimes we do it because we think we're the savior

and we could work with anyone.

We're so awesome and we're so nice and whatever.

Or God's gonna bless it, or something like that.

Or we just want.

The gig, we want the money, it could be financial reasons there too.

but yet after we get down that path, we go, huh, maybe this wasn't the right move.

I like how we've tied it together that, a moment or a situation in life

where we've had to redefine who we are can sometimes now give us a better

perspective on those situations.

Because often, early on we're just going at it, we're guns a blazing,

we're throwing our luggage over our shoulder and we're hitting the airport.

And, then all of a sudden a pandemic occurs and we go, wait,

why am I traveling so much?

Ooh, I can't travel now.

What do I do?

so somewhere along the way you wrote this book, opening Your Presence,

and it's P R E S E N C E will include links and everything for people.

But I think you sent me, this is the second edition.

When was the first edition back in 14 or something like that?

20 14.

So what provoked you to write that and what was going on?

And you said, you know what?

I'm not speaking and coaching.

I'm gonna write a book.

my first book, the first edition, I was working on a deadline.

It had to be done by a certain date, to coincide with the

speaking engagement that I had.

And I hurried through the edits and even after, right after

it came out, I'm so proud.

But I'm looking at it, I'm like, oh, I don't like the way I said that.

So there were things I wasn't pleased with.

It did very well.

It was translated into Greek and Chinese.

That was an experience because if you read my writing, I talk like a sudden girl and

I say, bless her heart and all this stuff.

And working with translators, they were like, what does, bless

your heart, what does that mean?

And it was a wonderful process.

But in Covid, during the lockdown, it was exactly what you said.

2020 was gonna be one of my best years.

Huge.

And it all got canceled.

I was doing a big bag of zero, and you can only do a big bag of nothing for

so long as, you know, without baking bread to death and gaining 50 pounds.

So I just thought, you know what, let me write the version.

I wanted to write all along and embrace the whole covid, issue of

communication because I was being forced to, the few jobs I did were online.

I'm not crazy about coaching online.

I don't think it's the most effective form of coaching and communication, but I can

help you make it more useful and helpful.

And, that's really what drove, drove the book that I had the time, so let

me do it and add the perspective and.

My old publisher had gone out of business, so I thought, well, great time.

I'll have a new edition come out and it's still on the shelves.

very nice.

as I was reading it, being someone who has, I guess I've

skirted a lot of these areas.

I've never sat in front of a camera, reading a teleprompter, but I've spoken

quite a bit, been up on stage, done tons of presentations, all that type stuff.

and I dig it.

In fact, sometimes I think I dig it too much and I need to

not dig it as much as I do.

But I was reading it and I was thinking to myself, and I'm gonna pose this

as a question after I state it, I was thinking to myself, this is really

good for the professional person.

And I think we said it in your intro, that, you do work with people that

would consider themselves, professional speakers, but I kept reading things to me

thinking that it was almost better for.

The person who thinks they can't do it should do it, but they know that part

of life is they're gonna have to do it.

who's it for and how did you do that balance between the pros and the, the

people that don't even, don't, don't make me speak in front of people or anything

like that, so that it was effective, which I thought it was very effective.

So I think you did a great job of it, but how, how'd you do that?

I directed it more to the non-professional speaker.

and Tim, I would probably consider you in that group.

Do you consider yourself a this is what I do.

I speak for a living.

No, it is an offshoot of your coaching, other work that you do.

and that is 90% now of the people I, work with, there, a c e o of a company, and

yet they have to do a media interview or they have to speak at a conference.

People who just have to speak to their team, they got a promotion.

one of my clients, fairly recently was a member of a team, was promoted

to the head of that team and she was like, now how do I talk to them?

I was one of them.

We would all go to dinner and complain about the boss, and now

I'm that boss and so just learning, the power of having an intention.

what is the purpose?

What is the intention?

What do you want them to think, feel, or do?

And feeling is huge.

A lot of people in the professional world are so set on the what.

I need to tell 'em this, this, and this.

Cuz that's important.

They're not thinking about how do I want them to feel about that?

Well, I want them to feel great.

I want them to know these procedures are changing and they need to feel

great and get on board with it.

Well that's more important than what it is you're gonna tell them

is how do you want them to feel?

So I feel a professional speaker could get something out of the book.

However, it is that person who is called upon to speak as part of their job.

What's the biggest challenge that you see as you go in and

work with people that aren't what we would call the professional speakers?

the people that they know they need to do it.

some of 'em are really good communicators.

I think some of them struggle and, and all, but what's your biggest thing?

What is your, what do you see over and over and over again?

And over.

I can answer that very easily, and it is the voice in the head.

It is what we tell ourselves about ourselves.

It's why I have the whole chapter on spring cleaning, because

people will come in and they'll say, I know my voice is awful.

I know X, Y, Z about myself.

I know this isn't good.

I know I'm not blah, blah, blah.

And I don't agree with that at all.

I think they're amazing.

I think it's exactly what they do Well.

And they don't like their accent.

English as a second language people, oh my gosh, people can't understand me.

yes, they can, I can understand every word that's coming outta your mouth.

And so the first thing I do try to do is separate reality and pay attention

to how you're speaking to yourself.

Because if you're walking up to the stage hating yourself, oh my

gosh, I didn't sleep last night.

I'm a mess.

I'm, you know, blah, blah, blah.

It's gonna affect how you do it.

So how do you flip that, hear the voice, and change the voice, change the channel

so that you're speaking to yourself in a more nurturing, encouraging way.

Do you, do we still see, do we still have these measurements

or this, I guess the factor that one of the biggest fears people have is

still getting up in front of a group of people, small, medium, large, leading

a silent prayer at church or even, doing a bigger presentation in front.

Is that still one of the biggest fears that people have?

being judged by their peers, being, assessed.

what are these people going to think of me?

Yes, that is a concern.

I will say that is a big concern.

Again, that can be addressed by understanding you have

that concern and directing it.

What do I want them to know about me?

And let's focus on how to project that.

now, People who come in and go, oh, I just want people to know I don't do this very

often, and I'm nervous and I'm scared.

I just want them to know that, let's not do that.

You don't have to act like you run the world, you know everything.

But to come start that way, that's not a great idea.

So it is a balance of what works, what's a way to address people

and what's real, and let's work on finding a good balance there.

What's the challenge?

You know, one of the things that a lot of people get in the mode of, they

believe that they have to perform.

They believe that they have to sell or pitch.

They believe that they have to, impress.

But yet, when we use words like authenticity or the title of the book,

opening Your Presence, the presence that you have, your own unique presence,

it's more about sharing, it's more about, inspiring or sharing information.

how does one strike that balance?

Because we do see people that are so impressive that we go,

wow, that's what I need to be.

But yet people need to be themselves.

how do they reconcile that?

I want to, I wanna be like, I'm trying to even think of an example.

Can't, politicians aren't a good example.

I'm trying to, I'm trying, I wanna be like somebody, I wanna be like Joe Rogan.

I don't know, that's not a good example either.

I wanna be like so and so, and I'm pretty comfortable in my own skin, so

I'm not, I'm kind of trying to project, but I know that people have that they

want to compare, like you said earlier.

so what's the first thing you do to try to get in their heads

and say, no, let's be you.

Let's open up your presence so that your authentic self.

But we do work on a few things to make it, to

The best part of ourselves.

I often ask people that is, do they believe that who they are is sufficient?

That right now talking to me, are you enough?

are you able to make yourself clear, understood.

can we communicate?

and I bring it to a one-on-one thing, and then I say, okay, great.

Now let's just put a few more people in this room.

Are you enough?

Is there enough there that can communicate to 10 people?

20.

Let's make it 50.

Because once the crowd gets to be any significant size, I always coach people

to speak to one person at a time.

Don't be, I call it the shark, that moving that constantly, I gotta

take in the whole audience cuz there's a thousand people here.

And so, you know, and they never focus.

And that's what we're gonna do.

we're gonna talk to one person, even if it's mental.

let's just talk to that one person at a time.

And it can actually be someone personal.

young people, they talk very, very fast if they're speaking to an older crowd.

I said, mentally, let's talk to your grandmother.

You're not gonna talk down to her.

You're not gonna talk in an unloving way.

You're gonna be very respectful, but you're gonna speak in a

way that she can understand you and it's one person at a time.

So just helping people see that balance of sufficiency.

You are enough.

You don't have to be Tony Robbins, Oprah, you don't have to be Jane

Pauly or whoever on the morning show.

You simply have to be enough for a one-on-one conversation, and

if you've got that, we can do it

That's a great question because I, I really do see, and I

know you see it a lot in the work that you do, I see a lot of people

that I, I think deep down, they don't think that they're enough.

right.

I.

and so hence the reason for, gaining some skills, from a book or from

a coach or from, some training.

And, how do you get, this is maybe getting close to some

of my final questions, but I.

I think that some people can just gain confidence from just getting

some repetitions in, getting a successor two under their belt.

Let's just say you're working with someone and they are really struggling

with the, are they enough question, but you're working towards, you're trying

to get a presentation done, or they've got to speak in front of a small group

of people or, or do something for their company or something like that.

What are some ways that you help build that you are enough confidence in?

Do you do it microsteps or, I know you don't just throw 'em out into the deep

end of the pool probably, but what are some ways if someone's listening

in or if you're working with someone that they can just start gaining

some of that I'm enough confidence.

I do believe in starting small.

One of my favorite clients ever, had trouble speaking up in a meeting.

He was very shy, he was very self-conscious, and because of a

promotion he had gotten at work, he was gonna be speaking to 800 people.

He had never done that in his life, and fortunately, he

hired me six months in advance.

Woo-hoo.

We can't, or I do not recommend it, I should say.

I do not recommend working on a speech for six months.

It's gonna get old, tired.

It doesn't sound, it doesn't mean anything anymore.

And so we literally started small.

And in a meeting of his team, which was five to seven people, all I wanted him

to do was volunteer to ask a question.

I can't tell you how many times he came out and he said, people came up

to him after, afterwards and went, oh, thank God you asked that question.

That's what I wanted to know.

I went, aren't you amazing?

You asked what other people wanted to know, confidence builders, and then he

had to make a very short presentation, 30 seconds in that meeting, and then he

had to move to 15 people and then he went to 30, he volunteered to speak to 50.

He nearly, floored me and it was just a welcome.

It was wel, it was a welcome to a new team, to a property.

And very short.

But he volunteered and slowly but surely, he got his

confidence up that he was enough.

And by the time he got out there and he had to speak to the 800.

Now, when you're speaking to a large group, I always recommend

start high, start your energy higher because it's going to drop.

But if you start it here, it's gonna drop to there.

So if you start it higher, and he was speaking in New Orleans and I

made him walk out on that stage and yell, good morning, new Orleans.

Just like, good morning, Vietnam from that movie.

And I laughed and I said, if you don't do it big enough, I'm

gonna come up on that stage.

I'm going make you do it again.

I was teasing.

He comes out, I am literally in tears.

He was so amazing.

He did, it opened his arms because I knew if he could do it in the

first few seconds he could do it.

And he came out and he said, you know what?

I don't think I did that big enough.

I need to go do that again.

Or my coach is gonna come up on this stage.

He said it from the stage.

Ha.

And he did.

And he had a standing ovation in the first 10 seconds because they

loved the humanity and the reality.

And I asked them later, I said, did you really think I would come

up there and make you do it again?

And he said, oh, absolutely.

You convinced him?

honey.

No.

But it, it's always in increments talking to one person, people

who think it's a confrontation.

Oh, I have to have a confrontation with this girl at work.

I can't stand.

I mean, we have to really take it back a notch too.

It's not a confrontation, we're just gonna have a conversation.

I like that because not everyone is, like Greta that started in

third grade being the star of her play

is the truth.

or even like Tim who was speaking and all that at that age too.

So that is excellent.

All in the book, opening your presence, presenting the

you, you want others to see.

What do you really want the big takeaway to be for someone who

gets and reads this book, Greta.

I guess, that it's possible that we all want to be seen and heard

the way we wanna be seen and heard.

And it's about making the connection about, okay, if you wanna be seen and

heard the way you wanna be seen and heard.

Are you presenting that?

Are you actually doing that?

Or if people keep coming back with a negative impression or, they're confused

or they don't understand you, what are you doing and how are you coming across?

And so to say that it is possible, and it's also human nature, everybody

wants to be seen and heard everybody.

And so they're not

audioGretaMuller11641321672 00:59:35

weird

or different.

Sometimes I'm the first person they've ever spoken to about this desire, and

yet they know they're an introvert or they're shy, they're quiet.

I'm not a naturally gifted speaker.

Okay?

That doesn't mean you can't speak.

And so I, I think that is the biggest, takeaway is making that

connection between what you want and delivering on that for yourself.

Greta, where can people connect with you and where

they, where can they find a book or anything you want to give?

We'll include it down in the notes, but, let us know where

to find you and, your resources.

Well, it's very easy to find me, Greta Mueller.

And it's greta mueller.com.

you can, make a 15 minute consultation call free.

Just wanna chat with me.

It's on the homepage.

You click on that.

The book is available, of course, through my site, but it's, Amazon, Barnes and

Noble, several sites, even through my publisher, and she gives all the

sites that offer, the book and stuff.

very good.

And like I said, I read it over the last few days.

I really enjoyed it.

Greta, we are seek, go create those three words.

I'm gonna give you one of those that resonates with you, means

more to you over the other two.

As my final question, seek, go or create.

Which one do you choose?

Seek, it comes to mind immediately.

there is no go.

There is no create, in my opinion, if you do not seek it first, seek

your truth, your authenticity and a way will be provided.

I love it.

Thank you, Greta.

Thanks for writing the book.

I think it's a great resource for people.

I think people need to get that.

I've enjoyed the conversation.

We knew.

We knew that we would just, right when we flipped on the.

it very much.

Thank you.

Lift on the microphone.

I encourage if you've been listening to this to go get a copy of this book.

I think everybody needs some of the principles and regardless of where you are

on the spectrum of speaker, all the way from pro down to, I'm thinking about it.

I think it would be excellent for you.

Also share this episode, wherever you're listening in podcast,

YouTube on some of our socials.

Make sure you share it with people.

I think, people that would want to hear all that we had to

say and, answer that question.

Are you enough?

I love that thought.

I love the question that came up there.

Are you enough?

I believe that you are enough if you're listing in here to seek, go create.

But sometimes we need some convincing and we need help.

We need help from people like Greta.

So I appreciate it greatly.

We have new episodes every.

Monday, make sure you subscribe, follow, listen, all of that.

Until next time, continue being all that you are created to be.