00:00:06 Shreya: There is a quite misconception in personal growth that transformation comes from intensity, from pushing harder, striving more, trying to conquer ourselves into becoming better. But what if real evolution doesn't come from force but from yielding? What if strength is something we grow into, not through tension, but to through presence? But today we explore what it really means to build an evolving life. Practice one that grows with you.

00:00:41 Shreya: Welcome to the Wellness Reimagined, where we explore integrative, open minded approaches to growth, healing, and human potential. I'm your host, Shreya, and today I'm joined by Jeff Patterson, founder of a martial arts academy and meditation center serving the Portland community for over three decades. Jeff is the author of The Yielding Warrior and the Art of growth, and he is known for helping people build a sustainable, evolving life practice rooted in breadth, presence, and inner power. We are talking about what it really means to live with the meditative arts, not as a technique, but as a way of being. Welcome, Jeff. I'm honored to have you on my show.

00:01:25 Jeff Patterson: Hey, thank you very much for having me.

00:01:28 Shreya: And Jeff, before we get into like, frameworks or practices, when you first began your own journey in martial arts and meditation, where, like, were you searching for strength or were you searching for something else?

00:01:45 Jeff Patterson: Well, I've always been interested in martial arts as a child growing up. Um, however, didn't really have the opportunity to practice martial arts. And then later in my later teens, I started getting into martial arts and really enjoying it. And that led me into Western boxing. And I found a real strong passion for boxing. Um, I used to go to the gym five or six days a week and really enjoyed the practice. And at this one particular gym that I was training at, there was a coach there who I really wanted to get to spend some time with, but he was pretty full on athletes and wasn't looking to take on any new fighters. And so I would always show up at the gym when I knew he was going to be there. I'd work hard and try to get him to notice me. And after following him around for about three or four months, he finally started giving me some tips and helping me out a little bit. And, um, it was only about maybe Two or three weeks of getting to work with him. When he said something to me that changed my life forever, and that he told me that if I really wanted to be a better boxer, I should start doing meditation and tai chi. Now, at the time, I was this young kid, about nineteen years old, thinking, you know, isn't that for older people in the park? How's that going to help me be a better fighter? And, you know, I had no desire to want to learn the meditative arts at that point in my life. But I had a lot of respect for him, and I knew he was trying to help me. And so I decided to take on the practice. And what I found was is that not only did it help me in the ring and become a better athlete, but it started changing other areas in my life, and I started noticing that this practice had a lot of substance to it and a lot of depth. And, you know, through the years, I've had thousands of students come through my academy and through my online programs, and I've heard hundreds of stories of how the meditative arts has positively influenced people's lives. And that's what's made me so passionate about it, and trying to get the message out there and help as many people with it as I can.

00:04:08 Shreya: Yes, that's really powerful. I think it sounds like what began as a one kind of pursuit slowly evolved into something much more layered, almost like the practice itself matured alongside you.

00:04:23 Jeff Patterson: Yes.

00:04:25 Shreya: And also there is often this idea that martial arts are about domination, toughness, even aggression. So what is the biggest misconception people have about the meditative arts?

00:04:40 Jeff Patterson: You know, a lot of people think that in order to be successful with meditation, that you need to reach this quiet place in your mind where nothing is distracting. And they feel oftentimes that when they can't reach that state that they're failing with the practice. And this is something that needs to be adjusted. Because, you know, I've been very fortunate in my career and that I've trained with some really amazing meditation practitioners from all over the world, and I have never met one of them who doesn't get distracted. Everybody does. And if you think that in order to be successful with meditation, that you have to be perfect and quiet the mind and not have any disturbances. You're going to feel like you're failing all the time. And with a meditation practice, if you are doing a movement practice like tai chi or maybe a sitting meditation, and you're sitting there for twenty minutes and you get distracted fifty times during that session, but every time you get distracted, you recognize the imbalance and you use your breath, your posture or your movement. If it's a movement, practice to help bring you back to focus. Now you just got fifty repetitions on how to be out of balance and then come back to center. And if you do that every day, every month, every year, you start to develop this power and this ability to find your center and balance amongst any chaos that life throws your way. And this is one of the true powers of a meditation practice, is learning to one recognize those imbalances before they take us too far down a negative path, and then to have the tools and the strategies to bring us out of that distraction and come back to center. And if you approach meditation that way, you're you're so much more likely to see the value in it much sooner and be successful with your practice.

00:06:52 Shreya: Yes. Like when you say and like, I really have a question. Like when you say yelling, some people might interpret that as weakness or like passivity. Uh, what tends to happen when someone mistakes yielding for giving up?

00:07:12 Jeff Patterson: You know, I hear that all the time. Um, in, in, you know, I've been running my academy now for thirty two years. And oftentimes people that come to the martial arts, they're thinking about the aggressive side of it. And when you talk about yielding, people think it's weak sometimes. And they think that it is like giving up and they couldn't be further from the truth. Yielding is learned or used in military battles. It's used in strategy. It's used in combat. It's used in so many aggressive forms. However, it's approaching it, rather than just butting heads with somebody and trying to see if you're bigger and stronger than them, it teaches you how to be strategic and with yielding. I've broken down yielding into three main pillars. There's physical yielding, mental yielding, and emotional yielding. Physical yielding is the idea that I push you. You push me. Whoever's the bigger, stronger person with the most leverage eventually is going to push the other person over. But with yielding, rather than us trying to see who the stronger person is. When you push me, I get out of the way of that force. And now I can respond with less effort and guide you to a position with the least amount of resistance. So I don't need to wear myself out and try to overpower you. Now it's obvious how this can be beneficial in a conflict scenario, but it's good used this way in any kind of athletics that you can think about. And that's why so many athletes these days are turning to the meditative arts, because they see this value in understanding some of these skill sets and these philosophical concepts. Now, in order to be good at physical yielding, a lot of things have to come into play. You need to be well rooted. The lower part of your body needs to be strong and flexible, so you can change your central equilibrium without getting tight. The body has to be relaxed, the breath has to be calm, and the mind has to be present. Now, while it may be a lifetime journey to really master these skills from day one, by taking on a meditation practice, we now are developing the ability to see those imbalances and those things going on inside of ourselves, with much more ability to notice the little things rather than waiting till they're out of control. and by increasing our awareness with this, not only do we see those things with more clarity inside of ourselves, but we also start to see them with more clarity in other people. And this is where we move into the second pillar of yielding, which I call mental yielding. So say, for example, you and I are having a conversation and I say something that unsettles you and I pick up on it right from that first sign of imbalance. Maybe your breath changes or your posture or, uh, subtle change in the tone of your voice. And when I can make those observations, it's a lot easier to change and guide the conversation to a positive outcome. Whereas if I wasn't paying attention to that and pretty soon I'm so far off track, you want to knock me upside the head. This is not helping my my strategy. And so when I understand how to use this in conversations. I can use this for business, for sales, for negotiations, for overall any relationship that you have. And this is a way where we can use this idea to guide conversations to a positive outcome with the least amount of resistance. And this is extremely beneficial in so many areas in life. And then the third pillar of yielding is emotional yielding. Emotional yielding is very much like mental yielding. However it involves our own interpersonal communication. So oftentimes something will happen to us and we'll respond. And we might go down this path an hour, a day, a week down the road and realize maybe that wasn't the best choice. But with yielding in our heightened awareness by doing these meditation Practices. Oftentimes we recognize that imbalance as soon as it starts down that path, and we're able to sit back and be present and be aware of what's going on and make adjustments so we don't follow that path too long. And this helps us gain the ability to guide our lives, whether it be physically, mentally or emotionally to a positive outcome with the least amount of resistance. And, you know, I've been explaining this idea of meditation or yielding through meditation for many years. And one of the most common things that I'll hear people say is. You know, I've, I think I use yielding all the time. That makes a lot of sense. And while I would agree in that I think everybody does some degree of yielding all the time, whether they recognize it as that label or not. It's kind of like, you know, if you or I were to walk into a crime scene with a detective who's been on the job for thirty years, I guarantee you that person would see things about the series of events and the timeline that I know, at least I would have no clue of. And the meditative arts helps us see things inside of ourselves and inside of other people that I truly believe that if you don't have a practice like this in your life, you're going to miss many of those cues and those observations that help us fine tune that awareness and be able to make those adjustments on the fly in any life scenario.

00:13:35 Shreya: Yeah, it's really powerful what you said, I think. So yielding is it's not about stepping back from the life. It's it's about stepping into with more intelligence and more awareness. And I think that reframes strength entirely. And with that, uh, like, uh, if if someone is an like entrepreneur or an athlete or even just navigating daily stress, how does a lack of internal practice actually manifest in their life?

00:14:19 Jeff Patterson: If you don't have something that helps keep you connected to your center. What happens? And we all see this, is that life's distractions take us out of balance. And so often, especially these days, with most people having their cell phones attached to their hip and, you know, they're constantly connected to screens all day, all of the time. We are so Distracted that a lot of times we don't take any time for ourselves and really spend time listening to our own thoughts and our own true feelings and connections. And, you know, I've seen this change a lot over the last twenty five, thirty years as technology increases. And in doing this, what happens is not only does that awareness change within us, but it changes in our reactions and our relationships with other people. Because if we're so disconnected and distracted all the time, when we have interactions with other people, a lot of times we're approaching those relationships and interactions the same way that we do with the screens that we're looking at all day long. And when this is our norm and the way that we live our life, It's kind of like we're walking around with these masks on, and these masks are hiding our true feelings and intentions because we're not really connected to them or understand them very well ourselves. And when we do this, it really sets us back from our true potential, because eventually we're so used to living this kind of lifestyle that we're looking at ourselves in the mirror, and we're still recognizing and seeing these masks. And if we don't stay connected to who we truly are, a lot of times we miss a lot of the gold that life has to offer. And there's so many things to be said for just going for a walk in the park and leaving your cell phone back in your office or back at home, you know, and just trying to listen to the birds and pay attention to the breeze. And I think, uh, many of us are going through life these days, so distracted that we don't even recognize those things.

00:16:55 Shreya: Yes. Like, uh, and like, conversely, when someone truly commits to breath and awareness as a daily discipline. What shifts for like, first, uh, in their performance, in their emotion, in their relationships?

00:17:14 Jeff Patterson: You know, there's so many changes and it it varies from person to person depending on really where they need it. You know, and with a meditation practice, it's so involved and so in depth that it affects every area of your life. And we have these underlying principles that we call the five regulations and meditation. And it doesn't matter whether you're doing a sitting meditation, a yoga practice, you're doing tai chi or qigong or whatever your meditation journey is taking you on these five underlying principles are the core foundations of any journey you're on, and they are regulating the body, regulating the breath, regulating the mind, regulating the energy and regulating the spirit. Regulating the body is usually where people begin because it's the one where you see the most immediate results. And the basic idea is paying attention to your structure and alignment, your relaxation and tension in the body, and you're just overall presence within the body. Now, once we have this awareness and ability to tune into this, it can regulate our energetic states throughout the day. An example would be think about a time maybe when you're sitting down at your computer and you've been there for three or four hours, maybe your shoulders around it forward, you're starting to feel Lethargic. You're short on breath. Maybe your neck's getting sore. And then another time when the most important person in your world walks in the room and your body perks up and you feel like you're on top of the world. Well, these two different energetic states we are in one hundred percent control of all day, every day. And so when we start learning how to regulate our tension and our structure and alignment in the body, it can change our physical, mental and emotional energetic states throughout the day. On a little bit of a deeper level of this body regulation is maintaining some sort of muscular structure to support the joints. That helps us maintain alignment, maintaining flexibility so we stay mobile and can move with less pain and effort, and then also taking in the appropriate nutrients. You know, if we are not eating healthy, that wears down our energetic states and our body. And then also lastly maintaining a certain sleep schedule. So we're replenishing the body and getting enough sleep throughout our day. And so these all of these things are part of the body regulation. And we could go into more detail on any one of those paths and talk a little more about that. But that's enough to give you a brief understanding of that. Then we have regulating the breath and regulating the breath is an extremely deep topic, and something that you'll study for the rest of your life, doing a meditation practice. And oftentimes in qigong, we refer to it as the science of the breath, because there's literally hundreds of different breathing strategies. And we use these strategies to control our physical, mental and emotional swings throughout the day. And, you know, everybody goes through the day with emotional ups and downs. Well, when you start recognizing that you're getting excited, we can use the yin side of the breath to help bring us back down and we're feeling depleted. We can use the yang side of the breath to help pick us back up. An example of the yin breath that we all do every day would be. If you ever listen to somebody sleep, you'll notice that their natural breathing pattern is a longer inhale and a shorter exhale. And this is the body's natural way of bringing our conscious mind into our subconscious mind, which is where we are when we're sleeping and dreaming. And so if we emulate this style of energetic expression with our breath, we can lead that energy inward, which is great for stress reduction, dealing with anxiety or panic attacks, or even boosting your creativity. And then we have the wrong side of the breath, which is more aggressive. And this is an example of this would be if you've ever had to push your car. Maybe you pick up something heavy. You tend to exhale and put tension in the breath and maybe even make the breath audible. This is generating energy and extending it outward. And so once we understand this and we have the strategies and tools to use some of these different breathing techniques, we can use that to regulate our physical, mental and emotional well-being. Then the third regulation is regulating the mind. And we already touched on this a little bit when we talked about, you know, doing our meditation session and getting distracted and finding the center. Well, having this ability is extremely powerful. And there's this a story that I like about these two older monks. And they're walking down this dirt road after a huge rainstorm, and they come up to this big mud puddle. And on the other side of the puddles, this beautiful little girl, and she's sitting there in a white dress, but she's crying, and the older monkey hollers across the puddle and says, is everything okay? Can we help you? And she says, I need to be somewhere. But if I walk across this puddle, I'm going to get my dress all dirty. So the older monkey rolls up his pant legs and he walks across the puddle, picks her up, puts her on his back, takes her to the other side, sets her down, and she's off on her way. Well, him and the younger monk are walking a couple miles further down the road. And finally the younger monk is just furious, and he says, you know, we're not supposed to touch girls, but you did back there at the puddle. And the older monk says, you're still thinking about that girl. I left her back there at the puddle. And how many times in life do we need to get two miles down the muddy road before we realize we need to let that thing go? And so learning how to notice these imbalances and regulate the mind and direct it, rather than being the observer that has no control over it, is extremely powerful and part of our meditation journey. And then the fourth regulation is regulating the energy. And this is an extremely deep topic and something that we could talk on for hours. But the basic idea is, is once we've reached a competent level in regulating the body, the breath and the mind, we now have the tools to regulate the energy in the body, and we can use this to control our overall energetic states throughout the day, and also for different meditation practices that we're doing. If we want to lead the energy inward circulated in the body, or do different practices that come in some more advanced meditation techniques. And then the fifth and final regulation is regulating the spirit. And this is a very profound idea and something that, uh, you know, meditation practitioners will spend their entire life's journey working towards. But as you can see, by having these five basic regulations in your practice, that everything we do in life can be affected and enhanced and improved by having a meditation practice and having these tools and skill sets to one recognize these things that are going on, but also understand how to guide them and direct them where we want them to go.

00:25:29 Shreya: That's amazing. And I think you explained this so beautifully, uh, that everyone can understand this very complex topic. And thank you again so much for sharing all your all your insights, your knowledge, your stories, your experiences with us. And if after this, my listeners want to connect with you, then what's the best way.

00:25:51 Jeff Patterson: You can reach out to me through my website? The Yielding Warrior dot com. Also, if you're interested in checking out a free copy of my most recent book, you can go to the Yielding Warrior comic book. And, uh, we'll send you out a free copy. Just, um, you pay for shipping and handling and, uh, um, there's also, uh, access to all my online programs through there as well.

00:26:19 Shreya: Yes. And I will make sure to attach all these details and links below so that the listeners can find them easily and get in touch with you. And for my listeners, if today's conversation resonated, maybe take a moment before your next task. Notice your breath, notice your posture, notice whether you are pushing or you are yelling. Growth doesn't always require force. Sometimes it asks for presence. Thank you for joining us on the Wellness Reimagined. If this episode expanded something for you, share it with someone who might need a softer way forward. Until next time, stay curious, stay grounded, and keep evolving. And do not forget to hit the follow button. Subscribe and feel free to share your thoughts because your ears deserve premium content. Thank you.