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allow you to optimize your health for today and all your

tomorrow's don't wait for your wakeup call.

Welcome back to the don't wait for your wake up call. I am your

host, Melissa de Li and super excited to be launching a

another theme this month. February is the month of love.

And some say money makes the world go around. But I would

love to see us get to a place where love makes the world go

around. Because as humans, our deepest emotional need is the

need to feel love. So I want to ask you to just stop and close

your eyes. Unless of course you're driving. And think for a

moment. What does the word love mean to you. And then think

about how does love feel to you think back to that first kiss

that feeling of floating the pitter patter of your heart, the

melting of your insides, the bursting heart, the smile on

your face, the warmth that spreads throughout your body. Or

maybe it's not even a romantic kiss. Maybe it's that first kiss

of your newborn. For the first time your newborn baby looks

into your aisle eyes and smiles at you with love in their eyes.

We feel all those same chemical responses in the body. Right

regardless of what type of love it is. It's it's just maybe

stronger in some forms than others. But the body is

responding chemically. And love is one of the highest levels of

emotions. And it comes with a lightness in our being right we

feel light, airy, like almost like we're walking on air. And

above love are in fact joy and then peace. Below love are many

other emotions, which you will notice get heavier as we move

down the list. And if we go right towards the bottom of the

list, we're going to find emotions like anger, fear,

grief, guilt, and shame is at the very bottom of that list.

There are other emotions in between. But I really wanted to

highlight these heavy, heavier emotions for you at the bottom

of the list knowing that you would understand that heaviness

that comes with them that feeling in your body of being

weighed down, bogged down, we are all energy and these

emotions are energies too. And when we carry around heavy

energies, it truly does weigh us down, we can feel like we have

the weight of the world on our shoulders. But when we instead

enjoy and live in a place of the lighter emotions of love and joy

and peace, we feel lighter as if we are walking on air. So how do

we move from one end of that spectrum to the other? Well,

that's life's journey, right? And all along the way we get to

make choices. And when we understand this, we can be

making better choices as we can put our decisions through the

filter of these lighter emotions and ask ourselves questions such

as, how would I respond if I were responding from a place of

love rather than judgment, dislike or disapproval? How can

I approach this from a place of love? Even difficult situations

can be approached With love. What does it mean to me right

now to approach this from love, not fear, or anger. And all of

this takes practice, right. And it just starts with awareness

that you can do this, that before you respond to a

situation, you can stop and just do a little check in and ask

these questions of yourself. And sometimes it can feel really

hard to approach situations from a place of love. Because those

heavier emotions are getting in the way, the anger, the feelings

of being unfairly treated, judged or hurt, or because of

past history of feeling, unjustly treated by others in

general. This happens in family relationships a lot. And perhaps

you've experienced this when it comes to family holiday

gatherings, you maybe you're wary of attending because you

don't want to see that someone who triggers you.

And you know, they will, because they always say something that

gets under your skin. And so that makes avoidance one easy

option, right. And many people want to avoid those scenarios,

or you go but you go with your backup or you go and you don't

really want to be there. And so we can start to turn that

around. If you're enjoying my content, and someone that wants

to step into being proactive in your health and learning more,

I would love to invite you to join my membership

community.

There's a link in the show notes for only 1999

a month, you get access to all of my content. And there's a lot

as well as weekly calls that you can come and get your health

questions answered.

It's truly priceless. I'd love to see you join the

community,

check out the link in the show notes. So there

are a few steps that you can take here to help you stay in

alignment with choosing love first. And that first one is

forgiveness. Now before you react and think why should I

forgive them, they hurt me, I didn't do anything, this is all

their fault. I want you to be open to the fact that

forgiveness is the key to liberation from being a victim.

Let's say that again. Forgiveness is the key to

liberation from being a victim. It doesn't make the other person

right. It doesn't condone their behavior. What it does is it

puts you back in control of your thoughts and feelings and it

frees you from the imprisonment of the pain. This is a choice

that allows you to move forward. Very often we carry these

painful experiences with us. And the only person that impacts is

ourselves. The other person doesn't even realize that

they've heard us or that we are still harboring the pain.

They've moved on with their lives. But we are stuck in this

place carrying the pain, resentment avoiding the person

and more. But when we forgive, we free ourselves from all of

that, to live our life from a place of love. The second idea

is to dawn your love bra or love cape for attending events where

you know, there'll be somebody who triggers you, I love this

one. The idea is that prior to going to a family event of some

sort where you know, you will see someone who triggers you,

you put on your imaginary bright red love bra, or your bright red

love cape. And this is super powerful as this bra or Cape

will protect you. You see, only love can enter your body through

this protective layer. It repels all other emotions back out away

from you. And only love can come out of your body via this love

bra and cape. It definitely takes some practice it is a bit

of a mindset shift. But when you go to the event wearing your

love bra or your cape with that conscious thought that I will

only allow love in and I will only allow love out. It makes a

huge difference in how you can show up at the event. So, as I

said it takes some practice, but it really does allow you to

focus on what is important in the moment, which is love and to

shine that out to me those around you to not only accept

love in, but allow the love out to all of those around you. I've

had many clients Dawn their love bras and capes before family

weddings and head their bravely and report back that the event

went so much more smoothly than expected. And they enjoyed it

more than they thought they would. As a result. I even had a

client one time who told me that she used this over zoom, talking

to her in laws with her partner. And she had always found that

her in laws were so critical of her partner. And she was just

kind of tired of it. And she thought you know what I'm going

to wear my love brought the Zoom meeting. And I'm only going to

get let love in and only let love go out towards them. And

when they started being critical, she just focused on,

I'm sending them love, I'm sending them love, I'm sending

them love. And she said it was fascinating because his mum just

kind of suddenly stopped mid sentence in the middle of being

critical. And kind of shook her head a little bit and change the

subject to something a whole lot more positive. And she was just

blown away. That even over zoom with her focusing on I'm sending

them love and sending them love that somehow the mum picked up

on that enough to stop the criticism, change the subject

into something much more positive. So this is powerful.

When we send love out into the world, the world can receive it.

And it can shift how people respond to you. Because you are

sending them love.

Avoidance of issues, and avoiding people that trigger us

just has us carrying around heavier emotions for longer

bogging down our physical being draining our energy levels, and

weakening our immune system to almost squash down emotions

really do weaken our immune system. And so we have to

instead allow our body to process them and release them.

And that forgiveness piece is so important for anything that's

been harbored before. And then for anything new, when we choose

that place of love. We can in mentally also allow for the

emotions to be processed, and released. Emotions moving

through our body move through as a chemical reaction in less than

90 seconds is what we choose to do with those emotions that can

get them stuck. So we can be focusing on it so much that the

chemical reaction has long since ended. But we hold on to the

memory and squash it down. Or we can release it and say I'm going

to choose to still show them love even though this is how

they made me feel. I'm going to forgive them for that. Maybe

it's having a conversation with them around. This is how it made

me feel I'm sure you didn't mean it that way. So I must have

misunderstood you. Maybe that's also a conversation that can be

had, right? When we can address this from a place of love, or

release people through forgiveness, or both, we can

elevate ourselves to a higher energy level. And in doing so we

feel lighter, calmer, and happier in the process. And the

more we practice this, the more people we draw into our circle,

that are functioning at that same high energy level, focusing

on love, which expands our love circle. And it expands it

exponentially and results in us living a happier, more joyful

life. Love truly can make the world go around. As we continue

to expand our circle and the natural ripple effect that

happens as a result. As Tony Robbins says, energy flows where

attention goes. So when we focus on love, the energy of love

expands and flows in our life. And then you get to feel those

light happy, warm, joyful feelings all the time.

So now that you understand the energies of love, let's talk

about the love languages. As these matter in how you relate

Build relationships, relationships with those you

love the most. So this is the work of Gary Chapman. For those

of you watching on YouTube, I'm holding up his book here. It's

called The Five Love Languages. And the five love languages are

words of affirmation, or quality time, or receiving gifts, or

acts of service, or physical touch. So, we all have some of

these within us, you might be thinking, My like words of

affirmation, but I also like receiving gifts. Or maybe you're

the person that says I love physical touch. And I like

quality time, right? So you can definitely be more than one you

can have several of these types of love languages within you.

But you generally have one primary language and

understanding your own primary language. And that of your

partner is very helpful, because your partner's love language

might be completely different to yours. And if you're showing

your love for them, based on your own love language, it may

not be as meaningful to them. For instance, if you love

receiving gifts, but they want words of affirmation, and you're

buying them gifts, that's not speaking to them in their love

language, right. And so understanding this is really,

really important. Someone else might be have acts of service as

number one on their list. And yours is receiving gifts, and

you're giving them gifts, really, they would just much

rather help with laundry and the dishes, right the acts of

service. So this is really powerful information to have and

to understand because of course, we all come from different

backgrounds and our love languages are impacted by how we

were raised as children. And it doesn't just relate to romantic

partners either, but it does relate to your relationships

with your kids, even friends, colleagues, etc. And so I'll put

a link in the show notes so that you can go online and do the

quiz from the book in order to determine the love languages of

your whole family. So have fun discovering your love languages,

donning your love bra or your love cape, and finding every

opportunity to lead with your heart and come from a place of

love, lightness, happiness and joy. On my next show, I'm

interviewing a relationship expert as we dive into romantic

love. So until next time, I'm sending you love. And thank you

very much for listening.

Thank you for investing this time with me on the don't wait

for your wake up call Podcast. I'm so glad you joined in. If

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