[00:00:00] Nathan Maingard: If you're like me, you probably spend a lot of time in your head, juggling responsibilities, making decisions and trying to stay on top of all the things. But all that mental energy can often leave us feeling more disconnected, more anxious, more burnt out than ever. So how do we reconnect with ourselves and find the peace that we're craving when there's just so much to do?
[00:00:30] Well, clicking play on today's episode was definitely a step in the right direction Because we are diving into the world of somatic practices with executive coach, and founder of body-based breakthrough, Matthew T. Cooke. Matthew has spent over 15 years helping leaders at companies like apple space X and Google align their minds and bodies to achieve more without burning out. And today he's sharing how we can use these same body-based techniques to unlock the wisdom that lives inside of each of us. Listen to today's episode, to learn how to identify and understand the signals your body sends you during moments of stress or overwhelm. The transformative power of somatic practices in reducing burnout and increasing emotional resilience. Simple tools and techniques you can implement today to start reconnecting with your authentic self and body's wisdom. How somatic coaching can help you overcome imposter syndrome and foster sustainable personal growth. The role of nervous system regulation in achieving clarity and making decisions that are aligned with your authentic self. And of course much more. By the end of this conversation, you'll learn simple yet powerful ways to tap into your body's signals, quiet the noise, and start living with more balance and ease.
[00:01:55] So, if you are ready to transform the way you move through the world and stay with us. This episode is packed with insights. You will not want to miss.
[00:02:03] I'm your host Nathan Maingard and welcome back to We Are Already Free, the podcast where misfits from the mainstream stop worrying how bad it all is out there, and instead get inspired and informed so they can focus on being the change, finding their tribe and living a beautiful life together.
[00:02:21] Speaker: When you hear the words, we are already free. What comes up for you? Acceptance. Change. To shift in awareness. Human beings are so powerful. EvErything is love behind it.
[00:02:31] Breaking the chains of your own minds. That which remains.
[00:02:35] Speaker 3: Nature. Getting outta the matrix.
[00:02:36] Speaker: We're sitting on the treasure and
[00:02:38] Speaker 4: it's already unlocked.
[00:02:39] Speaker 5: You are a walking map. Have always been free. You are always free. Already free. We are already free.
[00:02:45] Nathan Maingard: Before we get into today's episode, I want to quickly share something exciting with you. If you feeling overwhelmed or stuck and you're craving clarity on, what's really holding you back from living in alignment. I'm offering a special opportunity to you. To celebrate the launch of my recently upgraded coaching program.
[00:03:05] I'm gifting three free root and rise sessions. Usually valued at $250. In this session, we'll explore your biggest challenge. What's blocking you and map out some clear steps to move forward. But there is one little thing. These are limited to the first three people who apply. So if this sounds like exactly what you need, head to the link in the show notes, or go to already free.me/route rise and confirm your session before they fill up. And now please enjoy this authentically embodying episode with Matthew T.
[00:03:40] Cook. Of body-based breakthrough.
[00:03:42] Nathan Maingard (2): as someone who has had every opportunity in life, I'm blessed with a lot of different talents. I've been blessed with good people in my life.
[00:03:49] Yes, I've had my trauma and all that kind of stuff. I'm a have my lineage and there's all the things.
[00:03:55] But for whatever reason, I still navigate these kind of challenges that you speak to in your work around imposter syndrome, burnout. yeah, just this feeling of overwhelm and not really knowing my place in the world.
[00:04:09] And so your work really talks to me 'cause I'm very good at being in my head. Like I can think so deeply about so many things. And what I'm loving more and more about the work that you're doing. From what I've learned of it so far is this idea of the body being a messenger basically. And so I wanna start there in terms of asking you like, what is the way that my body lets me know that? and is it the same for everyone? Or how does our body say, Hey, we got some stuff going on, we went through something. Like, and we now need to do something about this. 'cause I find that if I'm in my head, I can't really tell what my body's asking for and how to let it get the message through.
[00:04:47] So I guess that's the first question is how does the body talk to me?
[00:04:52] Matthew T Cooke: That's such a great question. Yeah, so our nervous system receives 12 million stimuli per second. So like our nervous system, it's called Neuroception, and it's our ability to, perceive. It's like the nervous system is always listening to our environment.
[00:05:08] Like everything around us, it's in, it's listening to our viscera like inside and it's listening to the space in between. And so it's take, it's picking up so many signal. like the sounds of the cars going by on the road or, or maybe we have a furry friend or a loved one in another room. But it's also, perceiving like my digestion, all of these things that like, my goodness, like our brains would just collapse if they actually tried to like, keep up with every single piece of information.
[00:05:34] And so including breathing, like breathing and our heartbeat. And so there's so much information that our nervous system is aware of. That our brain is not clocking. And so there is something called the reticular activating system. Have you heard of
[00:05:48] this? It's this little bundle of neuron fibers.
[00:05:51] it's like the science of the law of attraction as well, in a way. that it's basically like our filtering mechanism that says, of those 12 million stimuli, what are the 40 to 50 bits
[00:06:05] that are important for me to be aware of in
[00:06:07] this moment? So 12
[00:06:10] Nathan Maingard (2): That's.
[00:06:10] Matthew T Cooke: 40 to 50. So it's so gnarly, right?
[00:06:14] Yeah. And so that's really, it is there's just such a massive discrepancy between what my body is always sensing and knowing to be true because the body doesn't have like morality, right? It's like that's a mental thing. So it's not choosing like good or bad, it's just whatever we are constantly feeding it is like, this is the information that I wanna know from you. And so what's really unfortunate is that, if we grow up in a environment or a, like a world where, it's a threatening world, then our brain will continue to perceive and look for threat. But if we grow up in a world or we start to like fine tune what we're filtering for to be pleasant or neutral even, or in the direction of this feels good. Then we start seeking out more and more of those experiences, which is what, like what people would say is like the law of attraction. Like attracts like and all that stuff. So yeah. that's essentially, I don't know, to
[00:07:13] Nathan Maingard (2): I mean you,
[00:07:14] that's amazing.
[00:07:15] Matthew T Cooke: that give your brain some things to do?
[00:07:16] Nathan Maingard (2): definitely, I don't know which of the 50, how many 14 million things now to pay attention to. no, you're speaking to something that I, it resonates for my own story that when I have been, there was a time, a year or so ago when I had been very deeply committed to my morning practice for a while, and what I started to notice was I started finding it easier and easier.
[00:07:36] 'cause part of the practice in my morning routine is to take a moment after the breath work and sitting and these things, and the final little piece is just to actually imagine like whatever the intention was I set for that practice. And for me it was generally abundance. This feeling of rather than scarcity, which has been a default state for me for most of my life, this feeling of it's not enough, there's not enough, I'm not enough, that whole story.
[00:08:00] So it was always like abundance. And 'cause a part of me, my brain wanted to be like, yeah, money. We need more money. And I was like, no. Like it's not money. It's what does money bring? A, a feeling of abundance, of enoughness. there's enough, I have enough. And so fullness, and so I would practice that every morning after the breath work, et cetera.
[00:08:18] And just taking a few breaths where I'm just like. What does it feel like when I am abundant, when that state exists in my body and it would just be these, even as I'm saying it, I'm getting these waves of just like energy of just moving through and feeling this sense of warmth and expansion and contentment.
[00:08:36] And I started to notice that it did start to reflect in my external life over time, is that, 'cause I was noticing more of that state externally that I was starting to recognize internally. Does that make sense?
[00:08:49] Matthew T Cooke: absolutely. Absolutely. That's outstanding, man. I love that. Yeah. in fact, so 80% of the communication from the brain,goes from the body to the brain. And 20% is from the brain to the body. so it's cool though that, that you were using that 20% as efficiently as possible to keep listening for the 80% that was, that your body was giving you yeah, this is what that feels like.
[00:09:14] Because the language of the body is so different than the language of our minds. it's sensations and like you were experiencing with abundance and and it's emotions obviously, but it's also, images. like when we just see these like super vivid images in our minds, those, it's not always words, right?
[00:09:32] But it's like this picture that I can see in my mind's eye, and that is also the language of the body. So it's just funny because it's just like speaking French and Portuguese. It's like they might not make sense to each other, and so that's really in so many ways what we're teaching people in our program and in, in this work with somatic work is, learning the language of the body.
[00:09:54] Nathan Maingard (2): Would you go into that a little more? So you've said, and just is there a list, like how many ways does the body communicate with us basically? 'cause you said there's images, which I totally get. There's been times when I feel in and I'm like, there's a heat here, or tightness. And then an image comes with that around, oh, now I'm seeing like this color, or so.
[00:10:12] So what are the, could you list those out for us? 'cause that's super interesting.
[00:10:15] Matthew T Cooke: So one of my teachers, his name's Peter Levine, if anyone's familiar with Somatic experiencing, he has been doing this work now for goodness, 40, 50 years. So he's one of the pioneers. He actually would crack open these books, like way back in the sixties, like early sixties, and was looking at the responses in animals. He was actually first studying like how are animals responding in nature and how does like trauma occur inside of them? But the work has progressed along and he created this acronym called SIBAM which is sensation, image, behavior or impulse, like the impulse of the body is I wanna hug, I want to kick, I wanna punch, like very primal. Then, affect or emotion and then, meaning. Just like thinking.
[00:11:04] So those are the five channels of experience. So in body-based breakthrough, we refer to it as your somatic signature. Which is to say that like just like Nathan has a unique signature, Matthew has a unique signature. our loved ones all have unique signatures. But also so does every single time that I prime my consciousness with a specific question as well. So when you thought about abundance. There was a very unique signature in your physiology that like showed up with these certain sensations, these certain images, these certain like behaviors.
[00:11:40] Some of us, like the body, as we think about abundance, it actually wants to like collapse. And some of us like, and it's unique to all of us as individuals and we all have unique emotions around it. So that's why we call it somatic signature, that for every single sort of headline that we bring to the body and ask the body. Like you're interviewing me, like interview the body, what do you think about this?
[00:12:02] And then listening for all of those different signals. And so we go through all of those channels.
[00:12:07] So sensation, image, behavior, affect, and then obviously thinking,
[00:12:13] which we're all very trained in.
[00:12:14] Nathan Maingard (2): Yeah. Interesting. And so I, there's a question that's coming up. I'm not sure why, but you said a word a minute ago and I can't remember what the word was, but it made me think of resonance of frequency. Is there any connection here or is any of your work involved in this idea of the frequency nature of reality? Like sort of molecules vibrating at different frequencies. But also within our systems we are... I'll give you an example that kind of illustrates this 'cause I don't exactly understand where I'm going, but I'm just gonna keep going with it.
[00:12:43] And it, I was, I was in an ice bath a few months ago and I got super, there wasn't ice in it, so it was just the water. And I got very calm, which I tend to do in an ice bath. there was a moment of just wow, just dropping in, feeling like totally relaxed. And I looked at the water and there was no wind or anything.
[00:12:59] and what I started noticing was my heartbeat rippling over the surface of the water, like every, just oof and just watching these ripples flow out from me. And I don't know why I've known this, intellectually, but to actually see my resonance rippling the material around me and making a, a resonant ripple in the world around me.
[00:13:22] It fucking blew. Like I was sitting there going, oh wow. I really have a field of resonance. I am a resonant being, and here is my beat that is going into the world. So I don't know what you get from that, but I'd love to hear your thoughts on that.
[00:13:34] Matthew T Cooke: it's so cool. That's so cool, Nathan, because I think that, the only thing that my brain immediately does with that is to think how cool that you had. we have this intellectual knowledge that it's like we're all electromagnetic fields and dah and but that you had like a real felt experience of oh my gosh, I'm experiencing this in my body, seeing this, feeling this, like really viscerally knowing this.
[00:14:01] I think that's the biggest challenge with school, right? Like when we grow up is like we can learn these things in books, but then to like really interact with them is a whole nother thing. I, yeah, that's inter, that's so interesting to think about. Like how does it reflect on the outside of the body then?
[00:14:16] 'cause we really, in some, in so many ways with B three, body-based breakthrough, we're talking a lot about what's occurring inside of the body. So that's probably the next field of study is then how does that then reflect out into the world around us? I think we all like anecdotally know that's true, but you're right, there's like a whole field of study there to be done.
[00:14:36] Nathan Maingard (2): I'd be, it'd be so interesting to
[00:14:38] Yeah, yeah, me too. I mean, that's, that's awesome because there is that, like if I change my internal resonance, then how, and then we, like you were talking about earlier that, the science of abundant or the science of, what did you call it again? Where you imagine your way to a better life, positive affirmations, et cetera.
[00:14:54] That was, you called it something.
[00:14:57] Law of attraction, that was it. Law of attraction and how so if the, but it works both ways. It's if I start to, if my system transforms and I start to notice more of the positive or even the neutral things around me, then I start to give my attention to those things more.
[00:15:11] And I start to act in accordance, in resonance with those things more. And therefore those things also change, which is pretty rad actually to really to think about
[00:15:20] Matthew T Cooke: It's so rad. Yeah. One of my teachers, his name's, Steve Hoskinson. I'm Point, I'm gesticulating over there 'cause I have a magnet that he gave me. he has a program called Organic Intelligence and he, this magnet says the job is enjoyment.
[00:15:36] Nathan Maingard (2): Oh.
[00:15:36] Matthew T Cooke: And he said, he says the job is enjoyment and it's a tough job, but somebody's gotta do it. And and the sort of joke being that like, we are the singing dancing tribe, like we are, the human race is meant to be in community, in, in connection, in play and dance. and that's like, you know, even sports are like sort of a, an. Uh, you know, an offshoot of of, of that and the job being enjoyment because so much of our lives are, dominated by what's not well. By he call, he calls it the what's wrong attention. And so, like, I, I love sir, sort of what you're speaking to here is like what are we, like rippling out into the world, starting with us of where am I experiencing joy? I.
[00:16:25] or even like I said, neutral. 'cause for some people it's like really joy.
[00:16:28] Like I'm not gonna fake joy. I don't experience joy, but where is it? So one of, some of my teachers will talk about like, where's it feel like less painful? rather than, 'cause that's so many of us are so tuned into what's uncomfortable. In my body, but also in my life. And it does, it ripples out in that way.
[00:16:47] And so I think that's where we start in so many ways is like, where is it at least neutral, if not pleasant or like,oh, that, that's that's like a different feeling that, feels like more space or something,
[00:17:01] So exploring those things,
[00:17:04] Nathan Maingard (2): I resonate with that a lot. I, it's, you're reminding me of one, one of the things I find gets in the way of healing or of integration or embodiment is fear. And I just had an experience yesterday where I have not had a solid breath work session in quite a while and have been feeling like I needed a bit more of a transformational breath work session for myself.
[00:17:27] And I actually just asked a dear friend of mine who lives in this community I'm in to, to sit for me. 'cause I know what I'm up to. And I, but I was, my fear was preventing me from just lying down and going in and I just, so I needed a brother there who I admire and respect enough to like, even though I want to get away, if I wanna run away, like I've said I'm gonna do it.
[00:17:47] So I'm gonna show up for that. And I'm wondering if you have any experience or advice for those who are experiencing fear in terms of like. Where they know, oh, I need to make some changes. I want to connect more into my body, but I've had these traumas, I've had this thing, I have this low opinion on myself, or whatever those things are, and I'm scared.
[00:18:07] There's a fear that comes up when I think of taking that step into transformation.
[00:18:11] Is that something that you experience in your work and how do you speak to that?
[00:18:16] Matthew T Cooke: That's so great, Nathan. Thanks for asking. Yeah, it's like if I was getting started learning to swim again, I would have, from when I was a kid, I would have loved to have gone in the shallow end. And for my mom and dad to like hold my body. As I was like first exploring the shallow end, knowing that I could just set my feet on the ground or knowing that like they had my body and that there was safeTy.
[00:18:44] and that I could get really masterful at swimming at three feet. And then exploring like maybe what's four feet. And then getting really good at that. And then going up to five feet and then going up to six feet.
[00:18:57] And then eventually I'm like in the deep end and I'm like, doing backflips and I'm spinning around. But there's such a joy that I'm doing it with and it's such an exploratory, curious thing that like fear can't exist. 'cause I feel so confident in my ability to do it at three feet, four feet, five feet, six feet.
[00:19:16] And so it's like just ever so slightly edging a little bit further and further into what's uncomfortable. But unfortunately so many parents from such little on is they need to learn. And then they just chuck them into the deep
[00:19:29] end. And, and then we start this pattern in our nervous systems of I'm always gonna go into things, by just, terrorizing myself, into like the baptism by fire.
[00:19:41] We have so many names for it, but, yeah. that's like my greatest wish. I don't have children yet, but that's my greatest wish for my children is that I could give them a safe and steady foundation to build from, if that makes sense. So I don't know if that an, does that answer your question at all around fear
[00:20:01] Nathan Maingard (2): Yeah. Yeah. yes, a hundred percent. And it's interesting to hear you say this because sadly I have not gone through your trainer's course. I would like, it's pretty much top two in my list of things I would like to spend money on is your training.
[00:20:14] 'cause it just seems so aligned and yet having listened to you now I realize that in the coaching work that I'm doing and in the. The transformational guidance that this is what I'm intuitively doing is that I, because I've myself experienced so much of that being blasted out of safety. And just into the state of free fall and terror, that has, that became a default for my nervous system for a really long time.
[00:20:36] I see with others how beneficial it is to go slow and to actually be like. Hey, I'm here. let's just see what's coming up in this space and then see what the next step is. and even if that step brings up fear, let's see what's going on there and how can we take that step in a way that feels safe for you.
[00:20:53] So I really completely resonate with what you're saying. And it's beautiful because I've hurt myself so many times doing that push, like being, I gotta go. I gotta go all in, like I gotta hit this hard, then I'm gonna be better. And then I'm the other side, just like a wreck trying to tear my, drag myself out of the hole.
[00:21:10] yeah, no, I feel that big time when you said the word safety immediately, just oh cool, I get that. As with so many of us, I imagine that there is a story behind this from like, why did you start this? Did you,and a little more of what was that process like for you of needing this in your own life?
[00:21:27] Matthew T Cooke: I, it's so funny. I feel like we always teach what we're trying to learn
[00:21:30] ourselves. Yeah. I coming outta school, yeah. Coming outta school, I worked in tech.so I worked at a tech company. It was a startup, in San Diego. And, yeah, we were building the Netflix for Optimal Living was the idea.
[00:21:46] Like how do we build a Netflix where people are gonna binge watch meditation videos? was the concept. This was in the early two thousands. We all know now that people don't binge watch meditation videos, but, but that was the idea. And so I was head of content curation and I was really blessed.
[00:22:01] I got to work with like, 200 of the world thought leaders in everything from neuroscience to productivity to conscious business, conscious parenting, mindfulness and spirituality, like you name it. It was incredible, Nathan.
[00:22:13] and I was really young and I was like 22, 23, when I first started, well, no, I was in my, actually, no, I would've been about 21 when I first started.
[00:22:22] And, just incredibly blessed. Like I got paid to learn.in fact, by the end I joked that I had like wisdom constipation because I just, 'cause I had so much stuff like crammed into my head. And I did, I learned some of the coolest things on the planet. but unfortunately at 24 years old I started getting, I was working 70 hour work weeks, which in tech is so unfortunately common and I kept getting these dizzy, flu-like symptoms.
[00:22:51] I. like every two weeks for six months straight. It just kept happening. And so it, it became like this real pattern that was happening, but it was really convenient 'cause it would be Friday afternoon. And I would be like, sicker than a dog all weekend, and then Sunday afternoon would come around.
[00:23:10] So it was like, it was my body talking to me.
[00:23:12] and I, and that was really that for me. And I could tell you the whole rock bottom story, but just to spare you all the details, I really realized like my body and my mind were at war and I wanted to figure out like why they weren't working together. And so basically over the last 12, 13 years now, I've created. My own PhD in trauma healing, burnout recovery. And so I've read hundreds of academic journals studies, and I've been very blessed with, similar to what you were saying about studying with people. I've gotten over a thousand hours of yoga teacher certifications. I've gone through somatic experiencing, organic inte, kind of like all these leaders in this industry. Um, but I, I realized it was in yoga classes and on long walks that I felt the most connected to myselfand I also felt like I had less anxiety and overwhelm.
[00:24:08] And so I just created a really simple journaling and like. Movement, um, sort of system. And I just began sharing it really freely, widely, openly with my friends. And like a few clients that I was like, they'll, they're into some weird stuff. They'll try this. But we ended up finding out like people were reducing their imposter syndrome, their anxiety, all of these things like five, 10 times faster nathan, it was fricking wild than they maybe would recover otherwise. And so because we were using these science backed principles to get the mind, the body, and the actions, like all working together in 15 minutes.
[00:24:44] So that's some background. there's way more to get you up to speed, but that's kind of what got me started anyways,
[00:24:52] Nathan Maingard (2): I'm curious as well, 'cause I know you've, you said that you've worked with, you've worked within and worked for and supported some of the biggest companies in the world with the work that you're doing. I saw Apple and there was a bunch of other, like at that level, I forget the names now, but I'm curious to know, is there a pattern that you've seen. Like our society, so praises that kind of success. like the success of the 70 hour week of just going.
[00:25:19] Matthew T Cooke: Are there any sort of patterns you've noticed within those spaces and what are the kind of transformations people experiencing through the work that you bring into those spaces? That's a great question. I think tech is ultimately born of the mind, you know, this is such a cool like, philosophical thing to wax poetically about, I guess. Yeah. I mean. Tech is born of the mind. It's, it's this like thing that we've built up to sort of like shield ourselves from like our primal nature in some ways.
[00:25:49] We build these incredible programs and algorithms and, spreadsheets and all of these things to help protect us from like our more primal, like intuitive native, Language of the body.
[00:26:02] And so I think when I go into tech companies, a lot of times it's because they're looking for innovation, because they're looking for, new solutions.
[00:26:10] They're looking for new ways to answer problems. And,Albert Einstein said, you cannot solve a problem from the same level of consciousness that it was created from. And so because they're using the mind and they're creating problems from the mind, I'm going very meta right now, but they're, they're having these mind problems.
[00:26:27] So the solution is to come into another state of consciousness, which is like we talked about earlier, those five channels of experience. They can go into sensation, they can go into emotion, they can go into, image or behavior. By mining this data, this wisdom from the body, we gain new solutions to these old problems.
[00:26:50] And so it's beautiful because yeah, in fact I was working, it was in 2021, I was working with a group of eight senior leaders at a very large tech company. I just always think that's fun to show I got this at their headquarters. Do you know this one,
[00:27:03] Nathan Maingard (2): I think I do. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think I've ever really used it, but I know, I think I know the app.
[00:27:07] Matthew T Cooke: yeah.
[00:27:08] So I got, I was working with their team and and they came out of a body-based breakthrough session with me and one of them almost like a bear coming out of hibernation. Like he had his journal in hand. 'cause we produce a journal for body-based breakthrough as well. and he had the journal in hand and he's like, where did you learn this? And I said,I sheepishly was like, I don't, I. Been doing this for, at that point it was, I don't know, 10, 12, something like that, years. I'm not great with numbers, by the way, with like years and stuff, but I was like, it was 10, 12 years I've been piecing together this thing, this sort of Frankenstein process of all these different things that have worked for me and I've worked for other clients. I've worked with over a thousand leaders at this point. And, and with other teams. And he looked at me with disgust, Nathan, and he was like, that's a damn shame, because there should be an army of people teaching this stuff.
[00:28:00] Like you shouldn't be the only one teaching this. there should be so many people teaching this. Because A, all of us need this and there's only one of you. And That's all I needed to hear. and so later that year, I thought, yeah, I was thinking like, how do I simplify, streamline and systematize the entire somatic coaching process as I was seeing it. And that's exactly what I did.
[00:28:24] And, we built out a three month program. Because we were thinking how do we like, in the most simple way possible, help support other coaches, therapists, consultants, health practitioners to, to support their clients in a trauma informed way where they don't have to go through a three year, trauma therapist program or any of the other things that I've done. But just a simple way to start to get into the body, and share that with their clients. And so that's, that's what we've done. And, I feel very blessed because that's our mission, is we wanna certify, over a million, trauma-informed somatic coaches by 2035.
[00:29:05] We got a long way to go. We've trained just over a hundred, so we have a long way to go, but very proud of the people that are already coming outta the work.
[00:29:12] Nathan Maingard (2): That's amazing. Yeah. More and more the somatic space seems. To make sense. it crosses, it's the bridge between, at least I'm just seeing this in this moment, but it's the bridge between sitting and doing talk therapy, which in so many ways is ineffectual. it, it can work for some people and it does, but it can take so long to see any kind of real positive shifts.
[00:29:35] There's that, and then there's on the other end of the spectrum, something like a high dose psychedelic experience of or even a, an intense breathwork experience of okay, let's go all the way in and just. Blow out all the fuses and see what happens. And both of those can be beneficial, but like somewhere in the middle of this idea of, okay, what is your body asking for right now?
[00:29:54] Sounds really good to me.
[00:29:56] Matthew T Cooke: Yeah. Alright. yeah, totally. That's it. I just want to have a conversation with the body as soon as we joke about, it's like going on a date with your body,
[00:30:04] Which I think some people really appreciate that metaphor, 'cause it is in a way, I guess to use a slightly different metaphor, I think, it's almost like we grow up with our bodies as like our best friend, like our best friend who's our neighbor, And we know everything about it and we know its favorite this, and we know its likes and its dislikes. But then that friend like moves away to a distant city or country, And then we have like less and less frequent phone calls. And then over time it feels like the cultural differences are so vast that it's like the conversate.
[00:30:41] We just get into fights all the time. And it's like, we're not, we're not actually on the same page. and I think that's where so many people, they just, yeah. It's like their mind and their bodies just get so far apart.that's where chronic illness and pain and all of those things are just our body screaming at us to please slow down and just listen to me.
[00:31:04] Um, and what I have to say, so I think about it less of the mind body connection, which is like really big here in the States is like the mind body connection. But connection is we attach trains and we attach trailers with connections. Like it's a relationship, like it's a real living, breathing relationship between the mind and the body.
[00:31:23] So that's how I, and together, so that's how I look at it. I don't know if that's too goofy, but that's, it's really important to me.
[00:31:31] Nathan Maingard (2): it's good for me because I feel like part of my own experience and maybe others listening who have had this similar thing is that I've often felt like my body has been an enemy. Because of the pain, the chronic pain, the, all those kind of things. And I'm still in the process of saying thank you when I experience symptoms of pain in my body or symptoms of stuckness. Of this is not my body trying to mess with me. It's my body asking me for something.
[00:31:54] Like there's a, there's a totally different, and like you said, if there's a, I love that metaphor by the way, the one of this friendship that then you kind of talk less and less and there's this discomfort going on and I love that.
[00:32:05] That really resonates around like, because that's something we can then repair. Like you said, it's a relationship being like reaching out and saying, Hey, I know we haven't talked in a while. How are you? is there anything you need? And I love that.
[00:32:17] Matthew T Cooke: yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what? Actually I should do a meditation on that now that we're talking about. That's really fun. I like that idea. Yeah. And yeah. I don't remember what I was gonna say about that, but I just Yeah, it is, it's really special. There was something that you just said though, Nathan.
[00:32:32] Oh, oh, oh. So something that I've been playing with recently that I think it, for some people it might feel like too far of a stretch, but I've actually, this is very recent. So we're getting like, really to this moment where Matthew's at, like in my process is I am, I'm starting to have these And I have not said this publicly, these, like self touch meditation. Now obviously, pg but like self like really gently, just touching my body. Almost like I would touch a lover, like a partner, like in a really gentle, loving kind of way. And to say I'm right here, sweetheart.
[00:33:07] Nathan Maingard (2): Hmm.
[00:33:09] Matthew T Cooke: and I actually, I got that from Tara Brock or Tara Brock, the meditation teacher. she refers to her body with sweetheart. And it is, it's it's such a tender, almost like almost mothering my own body.
[00:33:21] And it's, again, for so many people that are gonna be like, that is so weird. but it's this gentle. Yeah. Coming back into relationship with the body, I, some people have asked me, and I love this question, is would your body want to date you?
[00:33:35] would your body want to go out on date with you?
[00:33:38] Nathan Maingard (2): That is a great question. If anyone's listening to this on Spotify, they've just introduced a commenting system, which is so cool. So if you want to answer that question right now, would your check in, ask yourself that question with love and like whatever the answer is, no, no problem.
[00:33:51] But like where you are right now, would your body want to date you? I love that. That is such a powerful question. Jeepers that goes right to the heart.
[00:34:00] Matthew T Cooke: Right. And if not, what would you have to do to court? To court your, you know, just like, just like the, you know, young love, like what would you need to do to court your, your body back into connection? Back into relationship?
[00:34:13] Nathan Maingard (2): Very cool. Yeah. You're reminding me of, I thank you so much for sharing that. I really, that's a beautiful and tender thing to share and I, it reminds me of.so my, I've had a historically, a very negative inner critic, like the little voice in my head has been rough, like very rough.
[00:34:31] And I, what I found in these years of work and process and all the rest was that when I started doing ice baths consistently, that negative voice cannot get me into an ice bath. if I, if that negative voice is come on. man up, get sort your shit out and just get in there.
[00:34:45] I'm like, I'm not fucking doing it. I'm gonna refuse. And, but the voice that does get me in is the voice that's buddy, I know it's scary and I know that it's hard and, but we do hard things and we know how good this feels. Like I'm with you.
[00:34:58] Matthew T Cooke: Mm.
[00:34:58] Nathan Maingard (2): just gotta take that next breath and you just get in there, man.
[00:35:01] I'm right here. You've got this, like, it's, I guess it's reparenting is. Is that voice, that voice gets me in the ice bath, which is amazing. So different.
[00:35:10] Matthew T Cooke: Yeah. It's so cool. That sounds like your cheerleader part. It's like the part of you that's come on, nathan. yeah,
[00:35:15] You got this dude. yeah.
[00:35:17] Oh, I love
[00:35:18] Nathan Maingard (2): was, an
[00:35:18] Matthew T Cooke: I would be curious like. Yeah, I would be curious, even Nathan, if you're open to playing the game, it is just and it's okay if not, is like, what would that cheerleader part really want for you?
[00:35:30] You know, like I would want, I'd wanna like, how do I amplify that voice in my mind? Like how do I turn up the volume on that conversation,
[00:35:39] you know, beyond just the, the ice bath and I met, maybe you've imagined that in other areas too, but it's like, what is that cheerleader really wanting for me? Or like, how do I feel towards that cheerleader?that would be,
[00:35:50] Nathan Maingard (2): Oh man. I actually had an experience and it's telling how, I can remember the one experience 'cause I haven't had that many. but it, it feels more and more available as I continue this work. But it was, again, some months ago I was sitting on the deck watching the sunrise. I had, I don't even know if I'd done that much in terms of practice.
[00:36:09] I was just there maybe doing some breathing and I wasn't in the midst of anything. I was just sitting and enjoying this thing and suddenly. I looked at myself internally, I looked into myself and I just. I almost became the cheerleader. Like I looked at myself and I thought, you know what? If I wasn't me, I would really want to be friends with me.
[00:36:29] I'm a lovely, wonderful person. And it was like such a revelation to really not be trying to, like trying to get to that. oh, I, if I work harder, then I can, then I deserve the reward. But to actually just sit and look in and go, what a lovely guy. What a lovely dude, and it was like this revelation of the feeling of the searching was done.
[00:36:51] I had arrived and it just felt so lovely. So I think that cheerleader is that's what the cheerleaders is wants for me and dreams for me is to be in that state of wow, it's so nice. Just being relaxed, being me. Does that make sense?
[00:37:04] Matthew T Cooke: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What can I ask? What happened right before that? Do you remember? Like what happened right before that thought pot sort of popped in, of like, oh yeah, this guy, I like this guy.
[00:37:16] Nathan Maingard (2): It was just sitting, I was sitting cross-legged on the deck on a little cushion. The sun was just rising. And I had, I was just kind of looking around like just en enjoying, like watching the sunrise over the mountains and this golden glow of the morning, and it was early in the morning and I just had this feeling of, yeah, that's when it came.
[00:37:37] It was just like, and for some reason I just was like. There was nothing to do. I think that was it, is I stopped thinking about what I should do. I, that was it. It's like that, that, oh, I should do this now. I should do that. It was just, here I am, and I just suddenly allowed myself to be completely where I was in that moment.
[00:37:57] And in that moment it was like, oh, Nathan's lovely.
[00:38:02] Matthew T Cooke: Huh? Yeah. Oh, that's so cool, Nathan. I love hearing that story. I hope everyone listening is also smiling as big as I am. That's so special. And what a gift, like when you share that. 'cause it just makes me ecstatic. like I just, I feel so much warmth in my heart hearing that.
[00:38:19] That's just such a cool, and interesting that it happened when you weren't, there was nothing you felt like you needed to do. That it was actually in that moment you could sink into oh, this guy's pretty cool
[00:38:31] Nathan Maingard (2): Hmm. Yeah, it was a major I love that and thank you for that question. Yeah. You've given me an insight there that the doing, the letting go of the doing allowed the being to come through. And then out of that as we know, like which comes first being or doing. And so often so many of us are like, if I just do more, then I'll be enough.
[00:38:50] Matthew T Cooke: the thing.Yeah. totally. I think that's, and I think that's actually why body-based breakthrough is so effective for folks, and I don't, I, it just, it came through me and I'm just a lucky guy who got to, but it's just,it just is what it is and it really is like a system around us just being and helping to set somebody up to just be in a, being state. Because you're right, like imposter syndrome, anxiety, overwhelm, all of those things can't exist when we're just in that being state.
[00:39:17] Nathan Maingard (2): Well said. That makes total sense. Yeah,
[00:39:20] Matthew T Cooke: Yeah, because it's like our system is in this like naturally settled position because, so our system waves throughout the day, and not to get all sciencey, but it waves through activation or arousal is, and deactivation and de arousal and it's constantly waving. 'cause if, if it was flat lined, we'd be dead, right?
[00:39:38] So it's it's good that it's doing that, but the ideal is Can my system naturally go up to a certain threshold and go okay, we're good here. Let's like find a way to come back down gently, and not get stuck down. And not get stuck up. And so in B three, the ideal is how do we help to settle?
[00:39:55] 'cause 95% of people's nervous systems are stuck in the up 'cause it just, life modern society like generally brings us up, up, up, up, up, especially with imposter syndrome, anxiety, these types of things. So. Coming back into this place. One of, one of my teachers, Deb Dana, she talks about, something she calls restoring.
[00:40:15] And she's, this is fascinating. She says that the narrative when we're working with a client is not as important as their state. So she says, state over story, because if I can shift someone's nervous system state, their story will just like naturally change.
[00:40:31] Like it's fa just as a function of where, and it's like we think about it, like if you've ever gotten in a fight with your partner, the things you're thinking about are like, bat shit.
[00:40:39] At least for me, they're batshit crazy. Like, and I'm not, I'm not like, I'm like, you are just full of one. You, you're, and it's like, my thinking is just so unhinged because my nervous system is, you know, and so like, but when I come back down, when my state drops back down. I'm in a, I'm so much more expansive and possibility is so much more there.
[00:41:00] There's more options available to me and to the relationship and the connection and all the things. So when I focus on state over story, I find that really good things happen.
[00:41:14] And it comes to even I know you and I are also like, we run businesses and for a lot of entrepreneurs and coaches and things like this, like it also helps us produce quality things. Like just in general, whatever we're creating becomes more quality as a result of it, which I think is becoming more and more of like a advantage in business because there's just so much junk out there that people are trying to sort through.
[00:41:36] Nathan Maingard (2): it's so true.
[00:41:38] Matthew T Cooke: it helps produce more quality.
[00:41:39] Nathan Maingard (2): appreciate that. That makes a lot of sense. You've actually given me a little answer to this thing I've been wrestling with recently around just feeling resistance to sharing more stuff online. I'm like, people have enough, like it's too much. Do they need another thing? Like I'm like, do I need to keep someone on their phone a minute longer?
[00:41:57] Really? And so I'm navigating that. And I love what you're saying. Because what you're inviting is that my priority and the priority of anyone listening can be if we choose it, that we come into relationship with those parts of ourselves that we've pushed aside or pushed down. We come into resonance and centeredness in ourself.
[00:42:16] We, we start to flow through those states of rising and falling. And then from there, whatever we share, whether that is a post online or whether it's listening to a podcast or sharing with a friend or whatever that thing is. It has a positive impact in the world because it is coming from the state of being rather than the push of doing.
[00:42:36] That's it.
[00:42:37] Thank you for that.
[00:42:38] Matthew T Cooke: Yeah, that's it, man. Yeah, I'm not there yet, but like I'd love to get to a place where. Everything that I do feels like art. And I don't mean that it's like a pretty painting it, but honestly less than. It's even about other people. But that I'm like, Hey, I made this thing that's so important to me and I hope it's meaningful to you.
[00:42:59] And if it's not, then it doesn't matter. 'cause it was meaningful to me,
[00:43:03] And I don't mean like in a self-absorbed kind of way, but like you're saying from this being place of here's something that feels, in my being from a very integrated, aligned place, this feels like an important thing. you know, and I hope it's important to you, you know, and to be able to create just from that place.
[00:43:23] Yeah.
[00:43:23] that's that's why I think of it as like art, because I don't think many artists create from a place of I don't know, I'm just creating some bullshit. Here it is. And it's it really comes from deep inside of them in a real important place to them.
[00:43:33] That's where I'd like to get. 'cause I think people can feel you wanna go, playback on what we were saying earlier in the conversation with the like, how it ripples out into the world. You
[00:43:42] know, your heart in the ice bath and it like rippling. I think that, I think people feel that shit like when it's coming from a real play.
[00:43:50] I'm thinking of, have you read, there's a book that just recently came out, Rick Rubin. Have you read his book or
[00:43:55] Nathan Maingard (2): I was just thinking as you were talking, I was like, it's the, that creative process that he talks about. I haven't read it yet, but I've heard so many people, so many of my friends, like it's on the top of my list of books to read. I love, he says creativity is like a journal entry. Don't like, don't get hooked on what it could be or what it was, but like what today is the most honest thing that I can.
[00:44:15] Say and just do that and then let the rest go.
[00:44:20] Matthew T Cooke: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm letting go of trying to make things a plus for other people and just be like at least a b plus for me, but like meaningful meaningfully B plus to me,
[00:44:30] because that's the other end of the spectrum is like getting too hung up on the perfectionism thing of it all.
[00:44:34] So I'm just trying to go what's like B plus?
[00:44:37] I got that from one of my buddies, Ruben, so
[00:44:40] Nathan Maingard (2): Yeah, I do. The 80% I've that's 'cause I'm, most of the perfectionism thing gets me. So I'll be like, if I'm working on something like this episode for example, when I'm editing and when I'm doing all the things I could, there's always, I could edit it to the point where there's not a single hiccup anywhere in anything, but it just, it's just not worth that last 20%.
[00:44:58] It takes, it would take me weeks to do that last 20%, whereas I can do the first 80 in a few hours. So when I. I stop at some point. I'm like, am I 80% plus of the way there? If yes, that's it, bro. Like put a ribbon on it and get it out there because
[00:45:12] Yeah. Yeah. It's a good one. It does help.
[00:45:15] I actually wanted to ask you,as we come towards the end of this, but is there a practice that you could share with us now even on this podcast or a process you could take us through that would feel like available within the time that we, just a few minutes or something like that.
[00:45:29] Matthew T Cooke: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, let's do it. let's do it. Yeah. So, so even to begin, yeah. Just letting your eyes take a walk away from your computer, your phone, and just taking a look around the environment, around you, and just notice like what draws in your attention almost as if like, your, your eyes could be like on pillows, you know, like your eye socket's just gently like. Gently cradling your eyes, letting the information around you just sort of coming into your eyes. Maybe you can pick up the sounds around you as well. Notice if you hear a car on the road or a fan. You may notice a deep breath that spontaneously comes or maybe a yawn, and this is my brain's ability to just simply know that in this time, in this place, I am here and I am safe. And this is called orientation. Awesome. And then maybe bringing to mind, uh, if you want to either close down your eyes or you can keep them really gently, sort of maybe a couple feet in front of you, bring to mind your most favorite person in the world. And maybe just considering like what thoughts come to mind as you think about this most favorite purpose in the world? Maybe there's a couple words and then maybe if you have a picture or an image, or maybe even a memory of being with this person or knowing this person. And then as you think about them, notice what sensations you experience in your body. Maybe there's a subtle buzz in your chest or a warmth or maybe a nice rootedness in your belly or some space. And even if there's like a behavior that I would want to go do towards that person, can you, can you sense that your body would want to hug them or kiss them or, um, reach out to them in any way? And then lastly, is there an emotion there? Happy, sad, joy, disgust. I don't know. What do you, what emotion do you experience as you think about this person? And then just lastly, notice how you're thinking about them now and if anything has changed, if there's more richness and color to your experience of this person. Cool. And then you can really slowly, in your time slowly roll open the windows to your eyes and just let your eyes walk around your room again real gently. And even as you're just looking around your environment, notice what you notice now and what's different. I had a client one time and we were taking a look around the room and he was looking outside and he goes, it's just such a dreary, crappy, mucky day outside. And 45 minutes later, we were wrapping up the call and he looks back outside and he goes, it's just so bright and beautiful and feels like such a warm day. So just noticing what you notice now, maybe things look a little bit brighter, a little bit shinier, a little bit more possible. And then maybe you go back inside just one more time and just notice what's different inside.
[00:50:50] Nathan Maingard (2): Hmm.
[00:50:52] Matthew T Cooke: Cool.
[00:50:53] Nathan Maingard (2): Thank you.
[00:50:55] Matthew T Cooke: Thanks Nathan. Yeah.
[00:50:56] Nathan Maingard (2): That was a real vibe. That was amazing. You just gave
[00:51:00] Matthew T Cooke: sort when I want.
[00:51:01] Nathan Maingard (2): Sure. That was such a gift. I hope for anyone listening, it was as much of a gift as it was for me. But, yeah, I just had such a good morning with my wife. Like we went off oyster, harvesting down on the coast and just had the most beautiful morning.
[00:51:15] I actually did a little post about it on the Instagram, which was, anyway, that's a different story, but I just really got to.
[00:51:22] Yeah, your, this invitation, it really opened me up to the gift of this connection, the feeling of gratitude and joy. wow, what a blessing to be in this relationship. Like shit.
[00:51:34] That's awesome. So thank you.
[00:51:36] Matthew T Cooke: so you're so welcome,
[00:51:38] Nathan Maingard (2): Wow. Full power.
[00:51:39] Matthew T Cooke: a pleasure. I got that from one of my teachers, Ariel, and she's just absolutely incredible.
[00:51:45] And yeah, we're so blessed to get to have this relationship with our bodies. And, yeah. Thanks for going on that journey with
[00:51:52] Nathan Maingard (2): Oh man, epic. And where do folks find you next? I will put it in the show notes as well, but is there anything like a project or anything you really would love them to know about?
[00:52:03] Matthew T Cooke: Yeah, we have a three month training that people can get certified in the Body-based breakthrough somatic coaching method. So you can certainly check that out. But just go to body-based breakthrough.com or you can find us at Body Based Breakthrough on Instagram.
[00:52:19] It's really good places to find us and you can, we actually, you can do a full B three session.
[00:52:24] We have one on the website you can go find.
[00:52:26] Nathan Maingard (2): Awesome. Thank you. That's rad. And then finally, as always, when you hear the words, we are already free. What comes up for you?
[00:52:37] Matthew T Cooke: I think it, it just brings me back to what we were talking about earlier is like I have a choice point always to be finding the freedom inside of my body. Like where I feel pleasant, where I feel good, where I feel space. Just more of what I want to be experiencing. I already have that inside of me. And I just need to go digging around a little bit to find it. And then I can just expand that point of freedom inside of me. And so we are already free.the alternative is I can go look for all the points that are stuck and I'm really good at that. I'm so good at that one, but I'm, but my, my, yeah. Right. You two, my gi my, the, the, the, the gift in that is that it, it gets to have a, allow me to have, more opportunity to look for the freedom that's already there. And there's a whole lot of it. There's a whole lot of it. I feel so blessed. Thank you, Nathan. This has been like such a joy.
[00:53:39] Nathan Maingard (2): Thank you. Thank you so much. It's been, yeah, really just appreciate your time and your skills and your knowledge, and yeah, thank you for bringing all of you to the space. Matthew, it's been an absolute pleasure to have you on the podcast, and I wish you well and hope to have you on again some time.
[00:53:54] Matthew T Cooke: Thanks brother.
[00:53:55] Nathan Maingard: Absolutely love it. Thank you so much for joining us today. And a huge thanks to Matthew T. Cook for sharing such powerful insights on how we can unlock our body's wisdom and start living in greater alignment with our authentic selves. If you'd like to learn more about Matthew and his epic work, be sure to check out the links in the show notes.
[00:54:17] Now, if today's conversation resonated with you and you're ready to take these insights even further. I have something special for you. My root and rise session is designed to help you dive deeper into what we explored today. And covering the blocks, holding you back, reconnecting with your authentic self and finding clear steps forward. In just one session we'll pinpoint your biggest challenges and create a roadmap for your personal growth.
[00:54:43] Just like past client, Kim James, who said after her session. I came away with a strong sense of my authentic self, empowered to make courageous decisions by trusting my soul from a place of love.
[00:54:57] To celebrate the launch of my upgraded deep dive program, I'm offering three free root and rise sessions, normally valued at $250. But it's limited to the first three people who apply.
[00:55:09] So if you're feeling called to take this step, visit the link in the show notes, or go directly to alreadyfree.me/rootrise and grab your spot before they're gone. Thank you again for being here. Don't forget to subscribe, leave a review and share this episode with someone who might benefit from it. Until next time, may each breath bring you home to your authentic self and the remembrance that, as always, we are already free.
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