Hello, hello and welcome to the Borealis

experience. I'm your host Aurora, life coach and companion

on this beautiful journey called life. I hope you feel safe, I

hope you feel comfortable in your skin confident, I hope you

have a sense of purpose, and drive. And if you do not, if

you've had stuck last uncomfortable, unsafe,

uncertain, I hope I can be a stepping stone on your journey

and help you to get to know yourself better. Because the

better you know yourself, the better decisions you get to make

for yourself. And this in turn will affect all the people

around you and our society. And I feel we need to as a whole

work on our relaxed resilience sorry. And become stronger as a

whole as a society and more resilient to stress and outside

disturbances we have to come back home and take care of

ourselves. And once we take care of ourselves, we feel a deep

need to nurture the people around you the environment

around you the animals around you all creatures around you.

And this my dear as my vision and this vision is equal to my

mission to help people become their strongest version 30 Plus

unmarried. Last, without purpose. I want to talk to all

people out there who either good freshly divorced or are about to

leave a relationship that is super toxic, or singles who are

still searching and looking for the one person that can become

their mate. You might feel stuck, do you might feel lost.

You might feel you don't really have a place in society, you

might feel extremely useless. You don't know what you're doing

here and you sure know that you are not part of the mass. You

know everybody who gets married and then they build a house and

then they have kids and then they have front yard and a back

yard and two dogs. Their children start going to school

and you feel you don't belong to that stream. Either because your

partner is not the right fit. Or you haven't found the partner or

the partner you once had.

Left you or you left them and now it's just you again with a

huge chunk of pain in your chest. It is a weird feeling

when going to social gatherings and maybe you're even avoiding

them. Especially when you know that there's couples there who

are happy and living the life you wish they had.

And every time somebody asks you how you are you say yeah, I'm

fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. I pursue my hobbies, I feel free.

Yet, that's not at all how you feel. But you know exactly the

moment you would say. Actually, I'm not fine. Actually. I'm

struggling actually I feel terribly lonely. Actually, I

feel desperate to find a partner. You would have to face

your music. Also, you don't know what kind of reaction you would

receive from the people that all of a sudden you don't say sorry.

Iron anymore, but you open up how you really feel. Right? As

soon as you speak it out,

you kind of will be held accountable, or you feel totally

pathetic. Because that person feels like oh my god, that

person just share too much information about herself

himself. So there's a little bit of fear of rejection as well,

when we think about being brutally honest with the people

around us. No, I'm not fine. I'm not fine at all, I'm struggling.

I also want to address the that intimacy like fear of intimacy,

part that could play a role in your life. Because what I

noticed is, sometimes we are single, and we feel there's

nobody around us who could be interested in us, or us

interested in them. And we don't see that we still got a little

bit of homework to do before we put ourselves out there. So I

usually invite people to share with me the conclusions that

they have made about themselves after the last heartbreak,

right, when you are 30? Plus, chances are that you had a crush

on somebody at some point. Or you were in a relationship, and

for some reason it fell apart. Why did it fall apart?

And to find out if you take ownership? Or if you only blame

the other person? And to look at you with the kindness eyes? And

to find out?

What are the lessons you've learned about yourself? And how

open are you today to receive a new person into your life

because sometimes we cling on to our past pain so desperately

because we identify with that pain, that it is so big, that

we're not even able to make space for a new person, yet we

learn so much to have a new person in our life, but there is

no space, the whole space next to us around us as being taken

by our pain. Maybe you are a grieving loss. Maybe you lost a

dad, a mom, a person that you were very close to, to death.

And that pain is so enormous that you cannot even imagine

being happy again. Because that would mean that you don't love

that person that passed anymore. Which is which is not true. We

can learn to reframe these conclusions that you have made

at some point in your life. And we have to revisit them and see

do these believes serve you? Really, your mom is alone now.

Her partner passed or she was left. And now you feel

responsible for her happiness. So you cannot have your own

happiness because that would mean to some degree that you

abandon your mother. Is that fair to your life? Yet something

like that we don't see. We don't see how we sabotage and

manipulate ourselves out of beautiful situations to serve

another person to serve an old believe. I hope I'm making sense

here. I hope I can make you reflect and see that there's so

much that you can do in order to get ready to receive a partner.

For you to see that there is somebody out there because

sometimes we run around with you know, blindfolded eyes and like

yeah, there's nobody Where Have All the good good men gone where

have all the good women Gone. Gone to. i There is nobody out

there for me. Yes, there is. There's tons of people out there

But you haven't been working on your readiness, you haven't

faced your own music, you haven't faced your stuff that

you carry around with you. And that stuff is like a plexiglass

window window that you look through. And doesn't allow you

to see the people that would be ready for you. You know, some

people lose their spouse to death, or they are being left,

and they still have the house full of pictures with them. They

have lots of souvenirs, they have lots of things in their

space that take up space for a new person. Get they don't see

it, yes, you love that person, but you got to let go of it. If

you want to invite a new person into this life, if you want to

cling on to that person that is not in your life anymore. With

all you have, then that's fine, too. I will not judge you for

that. But please don't complain, then that nobody wants to be

close to you. Because they can sense that you have no emotional

space for them. Same goes for your parents, if they went

through a divorce, or again, if if your parent lost a spouse,

and you feel that if you were happy with a partner, you would

hurt your parents, you would invalidate their pain. And those

are the beliefs that we have to weed through. Because those are

the beliefs that make you push people away that want to be

close to you.

You are so precious and needed in our society. And I hope you

know that.

You might not have kids, you might not have a partner. But if

you step into your own power and live up to your purpose and let

go past beliefs and past experiences past pain that is

holding you back and show up as who you are meant to be on this

planet earth, then you are serving our communities, way

more than if you were to swim in the mainstream water and have

kids and a house and two dogs and a cat and a front yard and a

backyard because that's not what it's about. It if you become a

mother or a father and feel that this is what you're meant here

to do. This is how you contribute to society, then yes,

it is for you. And then I invite you to take my hand and to take

up that fight against your old believes all the stuff that is

holding you back from fulfilling this dream. And if you're meant

to create a beautiful business, if you're meant to start a

movement, whatever it is that your purpose is going to push

you to do. Then I want to help you to fulfill that

you know for me, I'm 37 Now, I do not have children. I'm in a

loving relationship. And I have a strong sense that I would be a

good mom. Yet I have tapped into this purpose of serving my

communities through podcasting and life coaching and helping

people to fulfill their dreams for me to look behind people's

masks. gives me so much joy and to help them grow beyond their

limits. Makes me feel so alive. To know that I can be a stepping

stone for other people and for now I feel if I had a child I

would lose that And maybe that is totally wrong, maybe I can

have both. So me right now I'm also working through this,

right? I'm never, never, never above you. I'm always next to

you. And it is so worth it to revisit beliefs that we have and

ask ourselves over and over again. Is this true? Is this

still true? Is the one thing excluding me from doing the

other thing. You got to be a detective, you got to be curious

about yourself. You can't just run around and look at other

people and see, oh my god, this is all they have. And they look

so happy and on Instagram and on Facebook, blah, blah, blah, it's

gonna make you feel smaller and smaller and smaller. And if you

go within, if you look at yourself and revisit beliefs

that you have start decluttering and wading through stuff that is

holding you back. You will be able to find who you're meant to

be. And liberate yourself from those mad mainstream thoughts

that are preventing you from showing up as the person you're

meant to be. And again, we need you out there we need you in

your most authentic strongest light shining. And if you keep

dimming your lights because you think you're not living up to

our expectations, you're not only doing yourself a disservice

you're doing us a disservice to service to the work go within

revisit the experiences that made you conclude that you're

not worthy I'm going to leave you with that with all my love

with all my care. As always, you can reach out on Facebook and

shoot me question shoot me episode request or if you want

to start your journey towards yourself, if you want to invite

me in and let me help you. Shoot me a visit and pay me a visit

mnt on Aurora Eggert coaching and we'll go from there. And I'm

very positive that if you're listening to my podcast here,

then you have that growth mindset. And you want to be your

strongest self you want to let go of stuff. So allow alone for

this. I'm so incredibly proud of you. I respect you so much.

Because you're leaving your comfort zone and want to know

what you're all about. All right. Take care of yourself.

And I will be out there very soon.