Wendy Green:

Hello and welcome to the Hey Boomer show.

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The show for those of us who believe that we are never too old to set another goal or

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dream a new dream.

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My name is Wendy Green and I am your host of Hey, Boomer.

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Before we get into today's topic, I want to talk for a moment about our sponsor, Road

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Scholar. Road Scholar is the not for profit leader in educational travel for boomers and

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beyond. And many of you know that in about ten days I am going on a Road Scholar trip to

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Costa Rica. A trip that I'm actually hosting with Road Scholar with a lot of my friends

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who will be joining us.

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And, you know, they sent us some information about the trip.

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And you get the stuff that you would expect, like the visa information or any kind of

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vaccine information.

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But Road Scholar goes above and beyond.

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They give us information about the kinds of food that you eat in Costa Rica, the plumbing

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issues that you might run into in Costa Rica, the how to prepare for the outdoors.

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What about Costa Rican showers?

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So things that we would never normally have thought of.

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They provided in this information package.

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I highly recommend the Road Scholar organization as an organization to travel

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with, and I would like to encourage you to go check out the trips that they have.

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They go to all 50 states, over 100 countries, and you can find a listing of all

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of these trips and adventures on the website roadscholar.org/heyBoomer

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and please use the slash hey boomer because that lets them know that you heard about

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their organization from this show.

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I also wanted to ask if you have downloaded the vitality assessment yet.

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That is an assessment, pretty short assessment that gives you some insight into

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whether you're feeling fully vitalized, whether you feel like you have enough

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sustained energy.

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Maybe you're feeling like you're running close to empty or now it's time to take stock

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and make some changes or improvements in the life that you're living.

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So go to the website.

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Heyboomer.biz, and you will find the Vitality Assessment link on the home page.

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So go there and download it now and enjoy hopefully your findings.

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Otherwise, let me know if there's something you want to talk about.

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Okay. Hi, everybody.

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Just a couple of comments before I get started.

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I am really excited about this show.

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I've worked really hard on putting this together and I've had a lot of support from

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people in my subscriber list, so I'm going to share a lot of those information, that

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information with you.

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I just want to say keep commenting.

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I'd love to see your comments, but I'm not going to pay much attention to the comments

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right now because I want to share all this information.

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And at the end of the show, if there are questions or thoughts that need to be

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addressed, I will address them then.

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So let's get going.

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What do I mean when I say you are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream?

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This is a saying, like any saying.

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And sometimes the more we say it, then we really don't hear what it means.

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It just becomes words that come out of our mouth.

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So I wanted to break it down for you and I want to talk about what it means to me and

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what it means to some of those of you who shared your thoughts with me.

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So let's break this down, starting with another saying, Never say never.

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We can't always feel great, like we can do or be or dream anything we want to.

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There are times that we're tired.

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That we're scared, that things hurt, that we feel lonely or frustrated, or any number of

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feelings that impact our ability to live.

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The phrase You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream.

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Sometimes it does feel like we're too old and that is just how we feel at that moment.

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I work hard at bringing you uplifting stories and guests so that when you need a

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shot of optimism, Hey, Boomer is a place that you can find it.

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And the truth is, sometimes I have to fake it till I make it.

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Okay, so from now on, when I say never, please do not think of it as a condemnation.

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If sometimes you don't feel great.

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We're all human after all.

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So moving on.

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What is old?

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The Webster Dictionary has many meanings.

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One is persisting from an earlier time like an "old" argument.

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Or of long standing like an "old" friend.

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Or having existed for a specified period of time like a three year "old" child.

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Or advanced in years or age like an "old" person.

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But as I read these definitions, old refers to a period of time, but nowhere does it

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indicate decline or loss of ability.

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I wonder why it has become such a loaded word that seems to indicate people who can no

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longer participate in the activities of learning or living.

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That is not what old means.

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I'm reading a book right now by an author who will be on Hey Boomer in June.

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And there's a line in the book spoken by one of the characters where she says she

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appreciates the chance to get better at getting older.

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Getting older is what we are doing, if we are lucky.

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Okay, so now we have the idea that never too old can also mean that sometimes we feel like

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the years have advanced too much and then we can remind ourselves that what we really have

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is an opportunity to get better at getting older.

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I'm going to save the ideas about setting another goal or dreaming a new dream till the

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end. A few of the people that responded to my request for ideas on this topic really

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answered this part of the saying beautifully.

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So now I want to share some stories with you.

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I think our milestone birthdays tend to make us nervous about getting old.

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My 60th birthday was a big one for me growing up as a baby boomer.

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We always saw ourselves as young.

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We danced, we hiked, we went to rallies.

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We wore our hair long.

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We were going to be perpetually young.

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At 52, I started a new business called Kids Art.

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At 50, I remarried.

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At 58, I divorced and sold my business and at 60 I moved to Greenville.

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So obviously I did not know a lot of people in Greenville to celebrate my birthday with.

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So I rented a house at Lake Lure in North Carolina and my kids and grandkids and I

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spent a wonderful weekend by this mountain lake.

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It turns out that it was Dirty Dancing weekend at Lake Lure, and they were

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practicing the lift.

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Remember Johnny Castle and Baby the lift in the lake.

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So that was fun to watch.

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Did I participate?

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Oh, no, I did not.

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But then the years ticked by and suddenly I was looking at 65.

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Now, I knew people; had started going downtown every night for the Friday Night

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Live music.

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I had joined a meetup group for people 50 to 60 years old, but the cut off age was 60, so

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I was too old for this group.

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At least that is what some of the people told me, even though I had been in the group

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for a while. And as my birthday was getting closer, I heard that the Meetup group was

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throwing a birthday party for another woman in the group, but I was not invited.

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So at first I felt hurt.

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I felt angry.

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I felt rejected, like, you know, what is going on.

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But then I decided, no, I was not going to let that get me down.

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So instead I made a cake.

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I brought it downtown to the music.

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I brought paper plates and forks, and I set it up on a table.

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And I invited everybody that was there to help me celebrate my 65th birthday.

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And it was at that moment that I decided I was going to embrace my age and not hide it.

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And it was at that dance that I met a woman who was 90 who was dancing, and she and I

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became dance buddies.

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And we would meet there every Friday night and dance.

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And she taught me that you are never too old to still dance and she's still dancing.

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She's 94 now.

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So in preparation for this episode, I sent an email to my subscribers asking them what

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never too old meant to them.

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I thought that maybe the expression would put pressure on someone who was feeling down

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or ill and they might feel badly about themselves if they kept hearing me say,

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You're never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream.

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And certainly that is not my intention.

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And my subscribers came through.

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I got some wonderful responses and I want to share some with you.

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I think one of the happiest came from Nikki in Greenville.

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And I remember shortly after I started, Hey, Boomer, I was wearing a sleeveless top.

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And since the show goes live before it goes to audio, everyone could see that I was

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wearing a sleeveless top.

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After the show, my mother called me.

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She told me I looked nice, but that it was not appropriate to wear a sleeveless top at

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my age.

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She may deny that she said that, but I can assure you that she said that.

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Nikki's response to my request of what does never too old mean to you was You are never

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too old to go sleeveless in the summer.

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Those arms have given a thousand hugs, baked dozens and dozens of cookies, cleaned

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bathrooms for 50 plus years.

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They've earned their comfort and freedom.

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And so have you. And thank you, Nikki.

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Going sleeveless.

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And I got many never too old stories about reinventing.

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Philip from Virginia became an author at 70 of a children's book with leadership lessons,

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and he will be on my show at the end of June.

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Melissa from Philadelphia left a corporate career to become a filmmaker.

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She had never done anything like this before, but she just felt driven to do that.

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And she has created a documentary film called Beyond 60, creating visibility for

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older women and their stories.

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And yes, Melissa will be on my show at the end of July.

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Don from Hawaii wrote to me about starting a new business at 76, creating new art and

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learning to fly fish.

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Don was on Hey Boomer last year talking about swimming and photographing sharks and

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other creatures in the sea and volcanoes in Hawaii.

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I do have inspiring guests who share their stories of reinvention.

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So never too old is also a mindset.

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Some people wrote about struggling with limitations of aging like arthritis or low

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energy or even illness.

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It got me thinking about a couple of role models of the never too old mindset that

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managed to live life with purpose and passion in spite of physical limitations.

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According to Stanford University, mindsets are the assumptions and expectations you hold

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about yourself, your life and the situations around you.

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Research shows that mindsets play a significant role in determining life's

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outcomes. You may have heard the concept of fixed and growth mindsets.

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This was also developed at Stanford by Professor Carol Dweck.

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A fixed mindset keeps you stuck.

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Like you believe because something happened before.

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It's going to happen again.

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A growth mindset lets you open to other possibilities, hence the opportunity to grow

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your perspective on life.

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And according to the National Academy of Science.

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Optimism is a psychological attribute characterized as the general expectation that

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good things will happen or the belief that the future will be favorable.

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Because one can control important outcomes.

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Previous studies reported that more optimistic individuals are less likely to

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suffer from chronic diseases and die prematurely.

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Their results further suggest that optimism is specifically related to 11 to 15% longer

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lifespan on average, and to greater odds of achieving exceptional longevity, which they

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call living to the age of 85 or beyond.

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Overall findings suggest optimism may be an important psychosocial resource for extending

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lifespan in older adults.

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My dad had an optimistic growth mindset.

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He was always an athlete.

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He played semi-pro baseball for the New York Yankees as a young man.

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He played in the county leagues for most of my childhood.

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I remember many weekends in the ballpark with him.

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Later he took up tennis and became a very competitive tennis player.

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But after his 70th birthday, he began to develop physical problems.

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They discovered an aortic aneurysm, fortunately, in time to correct it.

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He had back surgery for pain he was having in his legs and that did not help very much.

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Then he developed lung cancer, followed by prostate cancer.

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And finally it was kidney failure and COPD that ended his life at the age of 83.

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My dad started hospice care at home in December 2008.

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I drove down from Virginia to stay with him and my mom for however long he had.

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It was about an eight hour drive.

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And every couple of hours he would call to see how I was doing and to say he wanted to

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take me out to dinner when I got there.

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And I kept reassuring him, I just want to be there with you.

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Don't worry about going out to dinner.

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By the time I arrived, he was worn out and in the bed.

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The Wizard of Oz was coming on TV and he wanted me to crawl up into the bed with him

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and watch The Wizard of Oz with him.

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What a sweet way to start my stay with them.

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Sure he had moments of frustration and even anger, particularly when we stopped his

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ability to drive.

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But overall, he managed to keep an optimistic attitude.

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I remember one day walking into the sun room where he was writing.

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He was deep in concentration.

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I watched for a few minutes before asking what he was working on.

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My dad was writing a play about Irving Berlin.

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He had a dream of putting the play on at the retirement community where he lived.

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The idea of this dream filled me with so much respect for him and sadness knowing that

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he would probably not live long enough to see this dream come to fruition.

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But he did not let that stop him.

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He embraced the never too old mindset in spite of his physical decline, and he managed

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to complete the writing of the show before he passed.

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And my mother produced the show in his honor with actors from the community where they

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lived. Another person who embraced the mindset of never too old, or in his case, it

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was probably never too ill.

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Is Stephen Hawking.

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Steven was diagnosed with a motor neurone disease at 21, which, as we know, eventually

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left him paralysed and unable to talk without electronic help.

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As the disease progressed, Stephen stayed engaged with his work teaching, presenting

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and researching.

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He lived his life with purpose and interest for as long as possible until his death at

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the age of 76.

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Much longer than his life expectancy.

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We cannot all be like Stephen Hawking or even like my dad.

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I do believe, though, that having a mindset of being engaged with life and learning and

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giving is possible, even with limitations.

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We adjust to our limitations and we keep living.

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Never too old means having a growth mindset and an optimistic outlook on life.

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My friend Sarah Joy reframed the idea by saying, I'm finally old enough.

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Old enough to know what I value, to feel some financial security, to explore fun

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activities without having to be afraid of what others might think.

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Even to change jobs.

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Old enough. Don't you love that?

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With age comes wisdom and usually more confidence.

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We are mostly over caring about what others think about us.

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Julie, one of my subscribers, shared the following thoughts with me.

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For me, Julie said.

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My current stage of life is giving me the happiest, most fulfilling years I've ever

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known. I harbor no regrets, no feelings of opportunity lost or squandered.

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Rather, I feel that the sum of my life experience now infuses me with the confidence

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to take on new endeavors, savor the accumulated rewards of a life embraced, and

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apply my full attention to everything that rewards me with joy.

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Over the years, I have developed the necessary emotional skills to weather

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disappointment, challenge and loss.

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I am fully realized and thoroughly content.

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Way to go, Julie.

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My friend Janine Vanderberg, who is the leader of a group called Changing the

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Narrative, has been running a campaign called What if Aging Was Unbound by Ageism?

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Are you letting society's ageist ideas about getting older, limiting your thinking, Limit

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your thinking about what is possible as you age?

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Are you embarrassed by your wrinkles or greying or receding hair?

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What if aging was unbound by ageism?

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We can take the lead in changing the negative.

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Ideas of aging by embracing the belief that we are never too old to set another goal or

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dream a new dream.

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And I told.

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You I'd come back to what I think about when I say to set another goal or dream a new

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dream. I want to do this by sharing two final thoughts sent in by other Hey Boomer

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subscribers. Stella from North Carolina said, Reclaim the dreams of your youth.

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Make new dreams.

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Do the work that's important to you now, not the work you were supposed to be doing all

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those years.

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This is our moment.

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Walk away from fear and embrace joy.

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Tell people you love them and you always will.

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Even when you're gone.

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If not now when?

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And finally, Frankie.

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From Connecticut.

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Summed it up beautifully this way.

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You are never too old.

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To find awe in each and every day.

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You are never too old to help others, and in doing so, you will get more back than what is

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given. You are never too old to appreciate nature.

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You are never too old to be blessed.

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For what you have.

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You are never too old to change.

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Habits that are not good for your.

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Health. You are never too old to learn more about yourself.

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You are never too old to try new foods, experience other cultures.

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You're never too old to fix relationships that.

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Were problematic in the past.

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You are never too old to let go of painful.

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Memories and you are never.

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Too old to stop.

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And smell the flowers.

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I want to thank all.

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Of you who have contributed to this episode.

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Nikki, Phillip, Melissa, Don, Sarah, Joy, Julie, Stella Franci, and all the rest.

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Of you who did. Not call out by name.

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This is the kind of stuff we talk about on each Hey Boomer episode and work on in What's

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Next Coaching? I do.

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It is such gratifying work.

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And if this was.

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Meaningful to you, please.

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Share it with others.

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If you're listening. On the podcast rate and review.

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And let's get the word out that you are never too old.

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So let me go back and look at some of these comments and see if there are things that I

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can comment on.

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Thank you all for what the beautiful comments.

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Never say never.

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Yes, I live in Greenville.

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Yes. Or Josephine.

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Or wear shorts or tights.

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Yeah. Have a growth mindset?

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Absolutely. My mom says so of these ideas about never too old, is it not okay to be

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content with your life as it is?

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Is it not okay.

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To be. Content.

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With your life as it is?

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I think you want to be content with your life as it is.

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It may not be as you thought it would be or as.

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You hoped it would be.

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But having.

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An optimistic outlook and and trying to find the best in your life every day is really

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going to improve that feeling of contentment with your life in spite of the frustrations.

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Or limitations that you may be feeling.

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Uh, let's see. Is there anything else?

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Please share this quote from Julie.

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Okay, I will.

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What if aging.

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Was unbound by ageism?

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Yeah. Comment on that.

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What if aging was unbound by ageism?

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I think that. Is a really important question.

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And you can find changing the narrative on Facebook and LinkedIn.

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And they also have a website where they are having people address that question every

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day. So.

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Let's see. Deb thank.

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You. Deb Thank you, Stella.

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All right. So as a reminder.

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First of all, thank you, everybody, for tuning in and.

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Sharing your thoughts as we went through this episode.

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When you think of travel, think about Road Scholar.

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They are such an excellent organization.

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Go to roadscholar.org/heyBoomer and don't leave off the hey boomer.

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It lets them know I sent you and go to the HeyBoomer.biz home page and download the

Wendy Green:

Vitality assessment.

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Before we go, let me just remind you that next Monday is Memorial Day and there will

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not be a show for Hey Boomer.

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And then the following Monday, I will be in Costa Rica.

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Very excited.

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I am going to see if I can't at least record some.

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Episodes from there.

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Maybe I can do a Facebook live from there.

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I'm going to. Try.

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So check it out.

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And if I can't do them live from there, I will definitely bring you back some

Wendy Green:

recordings to share about this adventure that we are going on with Road Scholar.

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So before I go, I always like to leave you with the belief.

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That we can live with curiosity.

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Live with courage, and live with relevance.

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And now, you know, we are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream.

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My name is Wendy Green, and this is Ben.