Hi, welcome back to Unfolding. I am Erica Voell, a confidence and wellbeing coach, and I use tools like human design coaching and Reiki to help women in mid life say no to what drains them because then they start to trust their decisions and understand their unique strengths. And together we clear old patterns so that they can make confident decisions and start putting themselves first. I believe your human design is your roadmap and your permission to do things differently and confidently. And if you've ever felt like you're doing all the things and still wondering why it feels so hard, this episode is for you. I have had the honor of working with women who have felt overwhelmed. Over responsible and like they are falling short no matter how much they give. And today I wanna share a few of their stories and how they went from feeling stuck in the shoulds to clear, confident and aligned with how they're actually wired to thrive. Because this work, it really changes things. I've seen women go from second guessing in themselves to trusting their gut for their decisions. Also, those who have gone from this decision fatigue and the finding that confidence and clarity and from those who are holding everyone else up to finally honoring themselves. So let's talk about the stuckness. That frustration, that exhausting sense, that you should be doing more, you should be further along and that something isn't clicking. I know that feeling so well 'cause I've been there and in 2022 I clinically burned out. I was doing all the things I thought I needed to heal and I kept hitting the same walls and I kept asking. Why aren't things changing? 'cause I've done all this personal development work. I was meditating, I was doing all the things I thought I should be doing to heal and I still wasn't. And my therapist suggested I look up my human design. And honestly, I was really skeptical. I thought I was gonna be like this, eat right for your blood type, which I had tried before and it didn't fit for me. But then I read my authority. Which is my decision making process. I read about the centers, which are the shapes in the chart, and something seriously clicked. I had never felt so seen in my entire life for the first time. I wasn't trying to fix myself. I felt like I was studying myself and starting to understand myself because I had thought I was broken. I thought I'd had all these problems and I didn't. I was just operating in a way that was not in alignment for me. When I read that everything changed and you can listen to that in episode three. I have a whole episode about burnout and coming out of it. And when I started to dive deep into studying human design, I'd studied for over a year before I thought like I could share it with clients 'cause I hoped it would be something I could share. But I needed it to feel practical, it needed to feel like me. It didn't just need to be something that was interesting and esoteric. And as I started to work with clients, I saw that it could be more than a tool for a reading. It could become. this core piece of how I work with women to come back to themselves to really understand themselves Human design has made me a better mother, a better wife, and honestly a better human. My husband is a manifesting generator and he zips around the house. He can do 10 things at once. While, I feel like I'm focused on one thing at a time, and that used to drive me crazy. I felt like I was slow. I felt like I was not enough 'cause I couldn't get things done as fast as he does. But once I started to see that our energy differences were through our design, that tension started to dissolve and I stopped beating myself up for trying to live up to a standard that I thought he had for me. I didn't need to move like him. I just needed to listen to my body and do things that light me up and do things in my own way. My daughter and I both have an emotional authority, so we need time, we need space. We need sleep before we commit to anything big. And learning that has saved us money, it has saved us stress, and we literally have changed how I shop. When I buy clothes, sometimes I buy them and I will leave them in the bag for a few days. My husband wants me to wash them, but I feel like I need to let them sit there so that I can decide if I love them as much as I did when I bought them, because then that emotion has settled and then I'm not, it doesn't feel like that impulse buy. If I love them, I keep them. If not, they go back. These small shifts have created so much peace. And for so many of the women I work with, they feel like they have to be more than they already are, and some of 'em feel like they are behind in their life. They feel stuck in indecision or they only make decisions when they're so pressured that they're running out of time because they don't know how to listen to their body. They're also tired of apologizing for needing space. They feel like they need to stop over explaining why they need time and just to be with themselves. They also want to understand why they're stuck. They have done all the work, they have done all the. Yoga, they have done the meditation, but it's something just still doesn't feel right and they're looking to feel a little bit more confident in themselves and they're looking for another tool to help move them forward. And I really wanna say that it's a tool, but this is studying you. And when you start to study you, you understand yourself better. So let me tell you about Natalie. When we first connected, she was carrying everything. She was running our household. She was supporting a family business. She was managing a side business, and she believed that if she slowed down, then everything would fall apart. She was so awesome at starting things, but she was struggling to finish them. She was constantly juggling this excitement with her big ideas, with the mundane to-do list that never seemed to end. But she was exhausted and she needed permission to do it differently. Does that sound familiar? One of her dreams was to host community meals on her land, and it was this beautiful vision, but she couldn't see how she could make it a reality. And as we explored her human design together. Things started to shift. She realized that saying yes from an obligation was actually draining her. And she started to make decisions from trusting her gut and herself instead of feeling that guilt. And she learned how to communicate our ideas more clearly, especially with her husband, where she had faced resistance before. And guess what conversations that used to end in a firm no. Started to turning into a yes or, and let's explore this. Over time, Natalie's confidence grew and I still see it today, and she started to believe in things that were possible and within a few months she was not only hosting those community events on her farm, but she was actually getting catering job requests. She told me recently I'm doing the thing I said I wanted to do and I have abundant energy. You can hear more from Natalie in our interview in episode six, where she talks about our experience working together. So what about parenting? Not all of my clients are parents, and parenting can get so much better when you start to understand your kid. I recently released a parenting roadmap report with a private podcast. You can find that in the show notes. Do you get frustrated if you're a parent when your kids change their minds again, like. You feel like they can't stick with one thing or do you argue with them about quitting soccer after you've spent $400 on gear? Maybe. Your kid's a manifesting generator and they are meant to pivot when something no longer lights them up or they have an emotional authority as my daughter and I do, and as a former client, Heather shared with her that her son needs to sleep on his decisions. Now she talks to her son about the decisions that he needs to make, and he's happy with his decisions, and then the whole family feels better. Heather also shared that she also felt completely unheard in her family. She's the quiet one in this loud house because she's the one in the house with an undefined throat. She felt like no one ever seemed to listen. She said, I feel like I have to yell just to be heard, but I don't want to be that mom. But when she learned about that undefined throat center, she finally understood why. Speaking up felt so hard and how she can use that quiet as a strength, not a weakness. And now she speaks less, but with a whole lot more impact. And she's parenting with confidence and not frustration. Another client came to me with this absolutely stellar resume. She's a former reporter for a nationally renowned newspaper. She has non-profit leadership where she made a huge difference, but she could not own any of it. She told me, I taught myself everything, so how am I really qualified? Her imposter syndrome was so loud, but when we started to dive into her manifestor energy. That she was meant to forge her own path. Everything started to click, and that's the thing about this work. It doesn't just give you insight, it gives you permission. So what actually changes for my clients? They stop spinning in this decision fatigue, and they start to trust their decisions. They're not making decisions out of a feeling of pressure. They understand how their body responds to the decisions that they need to make. They start to parent with more connection and a lot fewer power struggles, and then they reclaim their energy by removing the shoulds. We talk a lot in my coaching about getting stuck in the shoulds and don't should on yourself. They also start honoring where they actually need time and space or whatever they are really feeling at the time. They show up differently at work and at home and in their relationships because they understand themselves and they understand others in a new way. I've had several clients tell me that they want to know. What type their coworkers are, what their partner is, what their kids are before we've even gotten off the first session, because it is so validating to hear this about yourself, and then you start to see this in others. And most of all, they stop abandoning themselves. They stop checking out of their lives. 'cause this isn't about doing more, it's about really doing what works for you and your body. And when you do, you stop trying to be someone else. You stop. Try to be a parent that like everybody else, and you start to finally be yourself. Because it's really about integrating the things that you are learning about yourself. 'cause I mean, you could Google human design and download a chart, but. Like learning it and really learning how to live with it and live in it. That's where our work really happens. And so for so many of my clients, this opens a door. It's about the first time they feel truly seen, not just by someone else, but by themselves. They stop feeling like they're too much or not enough, and they start seeing that they are normal for themselves, and that normal is something very powerful. And they finally have someone in their corner, a trusted guide, as they make these hard decisions for themselves, their families, and their careers, and they also get really clear on their gifts because when you're clear on your gifts, your path can accelerate. For me, I thought becoming a full-time coach would take me five years, but then my business coach asked me, what if it took three? I. That felt too wild and too crazy for me, but it lit something in me. It didn't take five and it didn't take three that I told myself maybe I could do. It actually took nine months. I don't know what happened. I just know that I really. Doubled down and trusted my gut. I trusted my authority. I trusted who I was and how I am built. And I learned so much about my human design. 'cause really there's a lot of power in that clarity. And that's what happens when you stop, second guessing yourself. You start trusting how you're built. 'cause you can do a personality quiz. This is not Myers Briggs, this is not the Enneagram. Th those are all about your mind and how you are perceived by others and how you think you should be. Human design is really about how you are born to operate. It's your energetic blueprint. It's your life's work. And once you see it, you really can't unsee it and you don't want to. So if you're tired of questioning every decision, if you're tired of parenting in a way that feels draining and unsure, and if you're wondering if there's a easier way to actually be you in your life, I want to assure you that there is, and I would love to show you. I want to invite you to book a free coaching session with me. We will start to unlock these pieces of you and see how you can unfold further. Okay, thank you for joining me. And if you enjoyed this episode, I would love it if you would tap the plus sign or follow the show so that you don't miss what's coming next. And if you're feeling generous, leave me a quick review that helps more people find unfolding, and I would be so grateful. If there's someone in your life who you know would love these conversations, please share it with them. Be well, and I'll talk to you next time.