Transcript
00:00:03 Alison
Welcome to mental wealth, the podcast to invest in your mind. Here I will help you make sense of your mind and behaviours, giving you the tools to have your best life. There is so much to share, so let's get into this episode and explore another great topic.
00:00:21 Alison
Welcome to Episode 22, and in this episode I am delighted to say I've got a special guest and we're going to be able to be working through some themes of happiness. I guess that sounds good for all of us. So our firstly want to welcome Marcus, who is my special guest in this episode. Welcome, Marcus.
00:00:41 Marcus
Thank you for having me. Happy to be here. Happiness.
00:00:44 Alison
Brilliant. Yeah, that's perfect, isn't it? So tell everyone firstly, a little bit about you. I know you're a transformation coach, but tell everyone a little bit more about you.
00:00:53 Marcus
Yeah. So I help people.
00:00:55 Marcus
Have better days.
00:00:57 Marcus
And it's as simple as that really, because that came from a period in my life when I was a police officer and I got to a stage where I actually wanted to.
00:01:06 Marcus
Kill myself, which is pretty.
00:01:10 Marcus
As low as you can.
00:01:10 Marcus
Go really and out of that and as a result of that experience, I went on a path that I didn't.
00:01:19 Marcus
Think I was going to go on and I have the pleasure now of helping people understand why they feel the way they do so.
00:01:25 Marcus
They can have their place.
00:01:27 Marcus
And that's me in a nutshell.
00:01:29 Alison
I love that and thank you for being so honest straight away because one of the reasons why I like this podcast and why I think it's important.
00:01:36 Alison
For us to.
00:01:37 Alison
Have these kind of conversations is to let people know that lots of people do struggle in all sorts of.
00:01:43 Alison
Different ways. It's absolutely fine. I my big passion is for people to feel connected with people, stories that they can relate to them for themselves. I think that's really important, isn't it? So I do appreciate you being honest with this straight away so that people can hopefully know that you've not only got all these magical tools.
00:02:04 Alison
You've also got a real life experience to know how tough it can get.
00:02:08 Marcus
Yeah, been there, done that. I got the T-shirt.
00:02:11 Alison
Yes, brilliant. OK, cool. So that's a starting point for us. So we're going to have a think about.
00:02:18 Alison
Themes of happiness, but also how you get that, because I think one of the things that I'm always conscious.
00:02:24 Alison
Of is.
00:02:25 Alison
Often people have a big list of things they should be doing a a big list of. They ought to be this or the comparison-itis they're looking at what everyone else is doing, and it can feel completely overwhelming.
00:02:37 Alison
In terms of how.
00:02:39 Alison
Can we have this thing called happiness? Because it's it's a thing that we all seek. It's probably the ultimate thing, and yet we get lost along the way trying to get it. So I think it's really important that we remember that it's not a flick switch. It's not just something that you can do easily, but it is something that you can work towards.
00:03:01 Alison
And I think that's where we'll start with our our conversation today, Marcus.
00:03:06 Marcus
Hmm, I think the best way.
00:03:09 Marcus
To start, this was an insight that I had on my own journey, and if you've ever read the book by Neil Donald Walsh, conversations with God.
00:03:17 Alison
I have.
00:03:18 Marcus
And and and and and. This really jumped out at me when he asks God you.
00:03:22 Marcus
Know why have?
00:03:23 Marcus
We got all this pain in the world. Why is this? Why is that? And but got God, I'm paraphrasing this, but God.
00:03:27 Marcus
Basically turned around and says you.
00:03:29 Marcus
Know you you've created this. How can you know happiness without sadness? How can you know success without failure?
00:03:35 Marcus
And we treat, we treat.
00:03:37 Marcus
Those two things as being.
00:03:41 Marcus
Linear and that.
00:03:44 Marcus
Life tells us if we do this, we'll be happy permanently. And if we do this, we'll be sad permanently. Then actually being in the present moment and learning from those things is the key.
00:03:56 Marcus
And a lot of everything in the world is actually set.
00:04:00 Marcus
Up to keep.
00:04:00 Marcus
Us in that.
00:04:01 Marcus
Middle ground, where we might not be quite happy, but we're not quite.
00:04:05 Marcus
Sad and and and therefore we have no purpose. So to me, happiness is probably more divine, defined as purpose and purpose. For me is that sense of spirit and spirituality. And again, that's been hijacked in regards to what spirituality, spirituality, religion or it's woo, it's not.
00:04:25 Marcus
It's knowing who I really AM and why I'm here and.
00:04:29 Marcus
What my purpose is?
00:04:30 Marcus
And really believe in that and having that anchor in your life so you can get through the tough times because you know why you're here.
00:04:39 Marcus
And for me?
00:04:40 Marcus
That for me, that's it.
00:04:41 Marcus
Is why? Why am I here?
00:04:44 Alison
I think that's really powerful, but I think also for those listening sometimes, I hear people say they get lost in that real like warm thing, you know, who am I that? It's like it's this warm thing and it's so many things, isn't it? It's it's so many different combinations, you know, not just the hats that you wear, whether you're a a partner or a mum or a dad.
00:04:58
00:05:06 Alison
Or a brother or a sister, or a whatever you do for a living. There's all those things that deep sense of who?
00:05:12 Alison
You really are.
00:05:13 Alison
And how a you can get that, but also what that brings you. I know that's part of my story. When I started being my true self. Oh my goodness me, what came with that was unbelievable really.
00:05:27 Alison
But it's that not.
00:05:28 Alison
That getting too lost, isn't it? In that one thing.
00:05:31 Alison
That you are.
00:05:32 Alison
And it's that combination. How would you help people understand that, Marcus?
00:05:36
So the the.
00:05:36 Marcus
The questions that I I asked my clients around this is that when we're talking about who am I is.
00:05:42 Marcus
Who am I at work? Who am I, as as a partner? Who am I? Cause most of your life isn't bad, but we are social beings. So our driving behaviour is to be connected and one of the things I want to bring in in this environment. So who am I in that environment?
00:06:02 Marcus
Both internally but externally as well, because we often forget that is that if we're an environment in an environment where we don't feel connected, we don't share those values. But society says that's what you should be doing, and that's who you are. That's when we get what I call head heart.
00:06:19 Marcus
Incongruent. And that's where, that's where I was. Is that logically, it went. I've got a great family, I've got a great job. I love my job. I've got nothing to complain about.
00:06:30 Marcus
But the world would be better.
00:06:31 Marcus
If I wasn't here.
00:06:33 Marcus
Why is that so? Excuse me for swearing, but at the time when I went to see my GP and they.
00:06:38 Marcus
Were saying you?
00:06:38 Marcus
Can have drug therapy and then counselling. I went I don't want.
00:06:41 Marcus
That this is the words I said, so apologies and I said, why the **** do I feel the.
00:06:46 Marcus
Way that I do that was my only question. Logically it doesn't make sense, but there's this driving feeling inside me that I don't feel good enough. I feel different that the life that I believe is available to me isn't there and what I recognised from the work I done at the time.
00:07:02 Marcus
Is it your mind and your body? It's always working for you. It's always on your side. The problem is.
00:07:09 Marcus
The subconscious mind has been programmed by other people, so you're actually responding not as your true self. You're responding to the programming of your teachers, your family, society, and what their expectations are. Because the minds there to keep you alive, not happy. And it does that by saying, well, if I'm connected, I'll be safe.
00:07:29 Marcus
Means millions of years ago we get eaten.
00:07:32 Marcus
By a Sabre toothed.
00:07:32 Marcus
Tiger. So. So we go through our lives.
00:07:36 Marcus
You know, it's interesting, I think. I don't know. I I can't where this came from. But by the age of eight years old, 80% of who you've become as an adult has already been programmed into you.
00:07:46 Marcus
8 to 18 in the next 10% eighteen to about 35 the next 10%, so around about 35 is when you're fully programmed, and then all of a sudden we wonder why people have midlife crisis.
00:07:58 Alison
Yeah, exactly, exactly.
00:07:59 Marcus
Because the body's always trying to tell.
00:08:01 Marcus
You who you.
00:08:01 Marcus
Really are, but it doesn't have words.
00:08:04 Marcus
And and that's why going. Why am I here? Who am I and actually getting help as well and getting the right help is is really, really important, but it's those big questions. I think it's asking those big questions and not knowing how you get there, but actually.
00:08:19 Marcus
What is it I want and why do I want it? But why is the important driving factor? Because that's emotion.
00:08:25 Alison
Yeah. And then that helps you be true to yourself, isn't it? Because the way you want it, it might be completely different to all these other people who in your life who are saying that's not really right for you or don't do that or why are you doing that? And that's what gets in our way massively, doesn't it?
00:08:42 Marcus
Yeah, it is. And I and I agree.
00:08:44 Marcus
You know, it's interesting. I'm sure you've.
00:08:46 Marcus
Heard this as well is that.
00:08:49 Marcus
I don't know if you know Simon Sinek is Golden Circle. We talked. Yes. OK. So this is where this came from. Because I've been following Simon beforehand. They said most people communicate, they know what they do, they know how they do it. But they.
00:09:00 Marcus
Don't know why so.
00:09:01 Marcus
You need to reverse that and so if you ask yourself a question, let's take affirmations. For example, affirmations are good, but they miss a vital.
00:09:11 Marcus
So I am enough, I am abundant. Why?
00:09:16 Marcus
Yeah, you're gonna join the dots. You're gonna put the what? On the why together? And how will just show up? And that's what we call manifestation. It's what we call a law of attraction. You can't attract things into your life and and and grow the life that you want without going. This is what I want. And why do I want it?
00:09:32
I'm like that.
00:09:32 Marcus
And then just simple questions.
00:09:34 Alison
Yeah, like that. It's it's something that you can people can have a time to sit down and reflect and just think what what comes up whatever comes up. No judgement just whatever comes up. But I think the thing that I'm always reminding people is there are all these tools affirmations being one of them and they all part of a jigsaw.
00:09:53 Alison
And every bit of the jigsaw to make the finished piece is important and the other bit that we can use this metaphor is and you know that people who listen to this podcast regularly will have heard me say this before, but I think it's important to keep remembering is how do we do a jigsaw, we do jigsaw one piece at a time.
00:10:12 Alison
So if you are today writing some affirmations and walking around saying I am.
00:10:19 Alison
Then OK, great. But know that there's gonna be something else that you're gonna need to add to that. It might be what you've already mentioned, Marcus. It might be having the right kind of people around you. It might be definitely digging down and thinking. Why do I like doing this, or why am I doing this? But it there'll be other things as well, wasn't there? When it comes to our contentment and our happiness.
00:10:39 Marcus
Yeah. The I will say the universe gives you what you need, not what you.
00:10:43 Alison
Yeah, definitely. Well, I think that's where all the discomfort comes. And it certainly did for me. And I think for yourself, probably Marcus is so much of the messages that come through people that we meet situations that you find yourself in are our own internal world screaming at us, saying you need to do more of this you need.
00:11:03 Alison
To do less of that.
00:11:04 Alison
I know that was my story and that was my motivation to write. Certainly my first book to share all of those things that I'd realised were critical because I was blaming other people not getting really down to why was I feeling.
00:11:21 Marcus
The
00:11:22 Marcus
Metaphor I'd use is.
00:11:26 Marcus
If you want to grow beautiful strawberries, you plant them in horse poo.
00:11:33 Marcus
You make sure that you put straw over the horsepower so that the fruit doesn't go into them. So it's you, it's utilising those experiences in a way as fuel to allow you to grow rather than bathing in them. And I think that's the thing. It's what's the opportunity that I can have to learn both in a negative and positive way because the mind.
00:11:54 Marcus
Doesn't know the negative so.
00:11:56 Marcus
Another top tip is people tend to.
00:11:59 Marcus
Say I don't want to feel this way.
00:12:02 Marcus
Right. So if the mind doesn't know the negative.
00:12:05 Marcus
What we need to be asking is.
00:12:07 Marcus
How do I want to feel and what do I want?
00:12:09 Marcus
To feel and why do I want to feel it?
00:12:11 Marcus
Not the not cause. We focus again the mindset for survival. So it'll focus 75% on keeping you safe. So focus on what you want rather than what you don't want.
00:12:21 Alison
Definitely, definitely. I mean, I think we can all relate to that. If you think of the subconscious mind that only hears, the don't.
00:12:28 Alison
The subconscious is quite childlike. So when you see a sign that says don't go on the grass, there's a bit of you that.
00:12:33 Alison
Wants to go on the grass because it.
00:12:35 Marcus
Yeah, exactly.
00:12:35 Alison
It it hears a direct instruction and I searched many people over the years and helped them see this with children. And actually if you give a child an instruction with a don't don't touch that don't run in the road, don't whatever spill your drink 9 times out of 10, they're going to hear direct instruction running the road spill the.
00:12:57 Alison
Touch that so children show us how our subconscious mind works like so starkly. And actually, we then need to pay attention to all of that and do it for ourselves as adults. Because just because we're adults.
00:13:12 Alison
Doesn't mean our mind or I. I think the other thing that.
00:13:16 Alison
I notice is.
00:13:17 Alison
It might know so when you see a sign that says don't touch this or don't go on the.
00:13:21 Alison
Grass. You gotta work.
00:13:22 Alison
Hard. Haven't you? Your mind has got to work at the what does this actually mean? It means. Oh, gosh, yes, it means don't.
00:13:28
Do it.
00:13:29 Alison
But if we give ourselves clear instructions, then we haven't got to deal with all that we haven't.
00:13:34 Alison
Got to deal with.
00:13:34 Alison
All those question marks?
00:13:35 Marcus
It's choice, isn't it? Is that?
00:13:37 Marcus
If you look at that parent child.
00:13:39 Marcus
If we look at that for a purely psychological.
00:13:41 Marcus
Point of view.
00:13:42 Marcus
Is have I got a parent parent relationship or a parent child relationship so it all comes down to consequence and choice and most of us aren't willing to just kind of look around that and go OK.
00:13:53 Marcus
I can run.
00:13:53 Marcus
On the grass. But what is the?
00:13:55 Marcus
Consequence of that?
00:13:56 Marcus
And am I happy to choose the consequence?
00:14:00 Marcus
You know, and that's so I always I always say to people because an.
00:14:03 Marcus
Ex cop. You absolutely can go out.
00:14:05 Marcus
There and kill somebody.
00:14:07 Marcus
Absolutely you can not do that. However, as a society, there is a consequence to that that if you get caught, you'll be locked up for the rest of your life and you'll lose some of your privileges. And this will have a ripple effect on the rest of humanity. So therefore, the reason why you wouldn't do it is because it doesn't serve anybody you.
00:14:24 Marcus
Know, it doesn't mean you can't do something. And a lot of the time people aren't willing to own the consequences of their actions, and we see that we're seeing that a lot at the moment in regards to people of our legislation on stuff and they want this, that and the other and it's because we don't want to be responsible because being responsible, it's called being an adult, an adult thing is difficult.
00:14:45 Alison
It really is.
00:14:46 Marcus
We all want to revert back to the to.
00:14:48 Marcus
To have to be the child.
00:14:49 Marcus
But I will say actually.
00:14:50 Marcus
I think what we really want is to have the freedom of a child with the wisdom of an adult.
00:14:55 Alison
Wouldn't that be good?
00:14:55 Marcus
Actually, that's Nirvana.
00:14:57 Alison
Wouldn't that be just brilliant? OK, so we've.
00:15:02 Alison
We're talking generally at the moment about some kind of concepts or themes or ideas around happiness being in the moment, having a purpose, getting you, why giving ourselves a bit of a break, you know, maybe there's balancing out between doing what's right for you. But you know, we still have got to fit in and all the things that.
00:15:23 Alison
Sometimes feels a bit restrictive, but at the end of the day you know, as humans we don't want to be left out. We don't want to.
00:15:28 Alison
Be the only ones.
00:15:30 Alison
Or rarely, do we want to be different to?
00:15:32 Alison
Others, but the purpose of that happiness definitely is that innate, isn't it? That deep rooted what's right for me? What other ideas do you have that we can chat about Marcus in your toolkit?
00:15:46 Marcus
I think we were talking just before we started to record about the four themes of.
00:15:50 Marcus
Happiness and for me, for me, these are a.
00:15:53 Marcus
Great framework and for everything that I've done personally and everything I do with clients, they they always show up. And when you see them, it's a game changer.
00:16:02 Marcus
So very quickly, back in 2018, I was in Italy, came back from Italy, had the breakdown, everything went chaotic.
00:16:11 Marcus
Last year, we returned to the same resort and we were on the beach in a completely different place in regards to where I was and but I got this overwhelming kind of panic attack. I mean, to cut a Long story short, I now know when that comes up.
00:16:25 Marcus
It's a sign that something great.
00:16:27 Marcus
Is happening so I lean into it.
00:16:29 Marcus
So my wife was quite concerned and I go off and just have this moment to myself and lean into it. And this voice just came through and it said the four themes of happiness and judgement, shame, guilt and validation. And when you think about those 4 words, when it comes to a problem or a challenge.
00:16:48 Marcus
We either feel judged or we judge somebody else. You made me feel for.
00:16:53 Marcus
Example. We feel shame. I really want to make this move, but if I do that, that'll impact somebody else's guilt. Mum. Guilt, Dad guilt. OK, I want some time for myself, but I've gotta put out for everybody else. I'm sure there's lots of.
00:17:08 Marcus
Empaths out there that they're listening to this.
00:17:11 Marcus
And then we validate the action or in action.
00:17:13 Marcus
I can't do that because I've got to. I can't do this, but the.
00:17:17 Marcus
Fact is, is that.
00:17:18 Marcus
You have to.
00:17:19 Marcus
Fill your own cup up, let it overflow and let people drink from the saucer, because if you're not full and complete, then you can't serve people and we have.
00:17:31 Marcus
How dependence on many things, relationships, foods, and it's a my whole in that area. And if I'm not whole in that area of my life, then where is the judgement? Where is the shame? Where is the guilt? Where is the validation that's stopping me from doing it? So having that little bit of a framework of what I call the 4th Thieves of happiness in a problem is.
00:17:51 Marcus
Where are those four thieves turning up? How am I talking to myself? How am I talking to other people?
00:17:59 Marcus
Am I seeing?
00:18:00 Marcus
It through the lens of love. Am I saying this through the lens of opportunity?
00:18:04 Marcus
So again, going back to the analogy of the strawberry plant, it might feel like crap, but what's the opportunity that I can use that as fuel and and how can I kind of look at that from those negative connotations and what is the opposite? So it's like the don't right, I don't want this. So if I feel as I'm judging people.
00:18:25 Marcus
How can I?
00:18:26 Marcus
Create a situation where I'm not judging and maybe understand that from their perspective.
00:18:29 Marcus
You know, where is the shame come from? Is. Is that true? You know, why am I feeling guilty that I'm not spending time? My kids actually do. My kids wanna spend time with me? Probably not in most cases. And actually my validation is does that lead me to having a better life or not? So what is the validation?
00:18:50 Marcus
Is the choice.
00:18:51 Marcus
What am I choosing?
00:18:53
00:18:54 Marcus
I hope that.
00:18:54 Marcus
I know that's quite complex to unwrap, but but that's that. That's where.
00:18:58 Marcus
That came in is.
00:18:58 Marcus
That all the four thieves have happiness.
00:19:00 Marcus
In play, and once you see them.
00:19:01 Marcus
And once you're aware of.
00:19:02 Marcus
Them it makes it much easier to kind.
00:19:05 Marcus
Of it's like a foot you've you've.
00:19:07 Marcus
Throw the problem through those four thieves and then go. Actually, what's the choice I'm making that's going to serve me?
00:19:15 Marcus
I hope that makes.
00:19:17 Alison
Yeah, I think it really does. And I think 1.
00:19:19 Alison
Of the things that it's kind of popping up for me while you.
00:19:22 Alison
Were talking is so many people are out there looking for happiness they they're kind of thinking it's in different things and different people in different jobs places.
00:19:34 Alison
Moving house. You know how many times I hear people say everything will be OK when.
00:19:40 Alison
Ohh I will feel happy when you know when I've got married. When I've met somebody when I've had a baby. When I've got this dream job. Whatever the scenario is. And actually what we're saying today is by just pausing and looking at situations through these four lenses that you've presented to us today in here and I and I do work around a lot of these. But I think just.
00:20:02 Alison
Pausing and asking yourself, these four sort of themes as you call them.
00:20:07 Alison
Am I judging myself? Am I judging someone else? Where's the shame bit where's the?
00:20:12 Alison
Guilt bit and then you.
00:20:13 Alison
Know what? What else am I doing that's making? Yeah. Yeah, I love that because it feels it feels to me like if we were able to pay attention to those things, it's not a flip of the switch, but it's definitely a step in the direction of.
00:20:14 Marcus
Where did that come from and why?
00:20:28 Alison
Actually, you will feel more content because you will be.
00:20:30 Alison
Doing what's right for you.
00:20:33 Marcus
Well, I'm just.
00:20:33 Marcus
Reflecting on our conversation that we had before we came on like I was at the gym on Saturday and obviously overdid it and my backs hurting a bit, you went and did this 24 mile walk and you're in bits as well, but it it was interesting that we focused on the.
00:20:48 Marcus
The fact that we're both really.
00:20:50 Marcus
Proud that we did what we did and we got that dopamine here so.
00:20:53 Marcus
Although we're in physical pain at.
00:20:55 Marcus
The moment actually we're like I did it.
00:20:57
And I'm really proud of.
00:20:58 Marcus
That you.
00:20:59 Marcus
Know I'm not, I'm.
00:21:00 Marcus
Not judging myself that I'm. I'm just saying here my body is reacting like this. And actually what a great opportunity that is because I went and did something that pushed me out of my comfort zone. And yes, physically, I'm feeling that in my body, but actually the achievement and the way that makes me feel from achieving that.
00:21:16 Marcus
That thing that was difficult.
00:21:18 Marcus
Actually gives me a massive buzz.
00:21:20 Alison
Definitely. I'm definitely buzzing while I'm aching.
00:21:24 Marcus
Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. And.
00:21:25 Marcus
And I think that's and.
00:21:26 Marcus
That's why I use that as an analogy because it's.
00:21:30 Marcus
Is to create that.
00:21:31 Marcus
Wholeness of self. We need to embrace our shadow side.
00:21:35 Marcus
We need to we need to love the guilt we.
00:21:37 Marcus
Need to love the.
00:21:38 Marcus
Shame, we need to love.
00:21:39 Marcus
The judgement it's.
00:21:40 Marcus
Part of the process you can't have the good stuff without the bad stuff. It doesn't work like that, and unfortunately there's a lot of people out there, especially in the industry that we're having.
00:21:50 Marcus
That that says.
00:21:50 Marcus
Ohh, move over to the light.
00:21:53 Marcus
It's dark and light, but what I say.
00:21:54 Marcus
Is is that when you go to the?
00:21:55 Marcus
Darkness if we unlock black.
00:21:58 Marcus
We've got all the colours of the rainbow, so why just have one when?
00:22:01 Marcus
You can have all of them.
00:22:02 Alison
Yeah, definitely. And I think you know what, what?
00:22:05 Alison
I know what I talk about a lot is.
00:22:07 Alison
You know you can run off and try and find something that's gonna make you feel good in that moment. Go for it on some occasions. But actually, you know, you're gonna have to come back and have a bit of a sit with that horrible feeling with that horrible thought with that horrible thing that somebody might have said to you, that's really triggered you. It's really made you feel uncomfortable.
00:22:28 Alison
There's obviously something deep rooted that needs to pop up to the surface, let it pop up, give yourself some time to just think about what what you're doing, because at the root of this or at the end of this, not that the end is ever available to us cause it's constant constant constant, isn't it? But eventually you will be able to.
00:22:45 Marcus
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:22:48 Alison
But your actual situation and what's actually getting in the way of your happiness.
00:22:54 Marcus
The amazing block.
00:22:55 Marcus
Proctor used to say something and and this perplexed me for many, many years, and I've never been able to understand it. But you say energy, we're we're just energetic beams, right? Energy comes from form through forming into form. And I never understood that. But now the way that I understand it is that if you take a situation as energy coming into form and it comes into your body and you.
00:23:15 Marcus
Feel it unless you can let the energy go through your body and go into another form. You hold it inside and that's why when we feel overwhelmed, it feels like it's like a nuclear reactor, right? We've got all this energy building up in our body, building up in our mind. And at some point it's.
00:23:29 Marcus
Gonna have to come out. Anger, tears.
00:23:32 Marcus
Whatever it is, it will it.
00:23:33 Marcus
Will have a form in which the body.
00:23:35 Marcus
Can't control it and it.
00:23:36 Marcus
Will come out so by using these techniques what you're doing is you're allowing that energy to to to come through you and out of you.
00:23:45 Marcus
You've gotta you've gotta utilise that energy and that's why, you know other practises like Chick gung, yoga, meditation, they're all part of a bigger toolkit. So there isn't one-size-fits-all. You know there's there's lots of little tools and you can look at judgement chain go on validation in meditation.
00:24:04 Marcus
And you can look at it in yoga, you can, you know, everybody's doing yoga next time. You can't.
00:24:08 Marcus
Do that, asana.
00:24:09 Marcus
What's that voice that's coming in your head? Ohh everybody else can do it. I can't. I feel shame and guilt, I'm validating it cause I'm not.
00:24:16 Marcus
As flexible you.
00:24:17 Marcus
Know you can run it.
00:24:18 Marcus
Through anything, whether it be a physical practise.
00:24:19 Marcus
A mental practise any.
00:24:21 Marcus
Thing, but the fact is, that's OK, that's OK.
00:24:26 Alison
It really is it really.
00:24:29 Marcus
Just my journey and I'm on my own journey.
00:24:32 Marcus
And like you say, the journey continues.
00:24:35 Marcus
And it will continue infinitely because.
00:24:37 Marcus
Energy comes from form through form and into form.
00:24:40 Alison
Definitely I'm waiting.
00:24:40 Marcus
It's part of the universal laws.
00:24:43 Alison
100% and I think just being able to take yourself on your journey for each person listening in for you and I, Marcus for everybody else, it is so important to remember that this journey that you're on is your journey to own, but also it will be different. It will look different to other people's.
00:25:00 Alison
Actually, and I'm always saying, you know, take us, take inspiration and motivation from others. This work that I've just done while I was borne away by some of the stories, some of the other people, but don't do it in a judgey, judgey shamey, guilty kind of way and and and put yourself in an unfavourable.
00:25:21 Marcus
Umm, I think I think if you.
00:25:22 Marcus
Look at it.
00:25:23 Marcus
From an opportunity?
00:25:24 Marcus
I sometimes use this in in my hypnotherapy records that I give to clients, but imagine billions of years ago when the universe was formed right? We know the universe was formed somehow. We don't know exactly where is The Big Bang. There was a bit of Stardust that started the journey billions of years.
00:25:39 Marcus
Ago, and the environment in which that better Stardust encountered created you today rather than you being a rock.
00:25:47 Marcus
Or being a frog.
00:25:48 Marcus
Right. So the.
00:25:49 Marcus
If you look at the chances of you being on this planet at this moment at this time in that body as you are billions and billions and billions to one, it's not by chance.
00:25:58 Marcus
There is a reason why you are here.
00:26:01 Marcus
And we often are looking outside for the answer when the answers lie within us. We are all equally as important as every single other Organism on this planet. We're all part of 1 big ecosystem, you know. So when you actually put into perspective, our problems are so minute.
00:26:20 Marcus
Doesn't feel that way.
00:26:22 Marcus
But that's why asking those deep questions and go if I've only got this one opportunity in life, why don't I focus on why I'm here and why I wanna build this life and why I want to and it's and. And. And most people will chase the extrinsic stuff. But I always come down to this.
00:26:41 Marcus
What most people want is this peace, love, purpose.
00:26:48 Marcus
Meaning and freedom.
00:26:51 Marcus
Yeah, that's all. That's all it's about and actually purpose and meaning is the biggest thing is that that's what drives us. If I've got purpose and meaning that that can drive me to the through the tough times and through that.
00:27:03 Marcus
Our values, our ethics, and surrounding ourselves.
00:27:06 Marcus
With people who believe what we believe.
00:27:09 Alison
Definitely. And I think if there's people listening today who are definitely sitting on the fence, shall we say, thinking they should do something or they they ought to do something not in a negative way. So not in our shoulds that full of guilt and shame. But in that something that they really want to do, go and do it. Find a way.
00:27:29 Alison
Start to look into one small things that you can do to make that happen cause I know lots of people who listen to this podcast who are wondering should I do should I?
00:27:38 Alison
Should you know?
00:27:39 Alison
Can I?
00:27:39 Marcus
Give you a funny example. Can I give you for the example? So we?
00:27:42 Marcus
Want to move house?
00:27:43 Marcus
Right.
00:27:45 Marcus
And the house that we've kind of looked at we've found is potentially my mind is comes out of our price range.
00:27:52 Marcus
So yesterday we went and looked around and met some people in the area. It was lovely area. We want to move into and I got a pound coin.
00:27:59 Marcus
And what I.
00:27:59 Marcus
Did is I put the pound coin next to the for sale sign on the House.
00:28:05 Marcus
And made a £1.00 deposit to tell.
00:28:07 Marcus
The universe that.
00:28:09 Marcus
I wanna move into that house. I don't know how I'm gonna do it.
00:28:11 Marcus
But here's my.
00:28:12 Marcus
My deposit so that house is now £1.00 less than what it.
00:28:15 Marcus
Was when we first looked.
00:28:17 Marcus
And my mind now is going is now going back not or I can't afford it. How can I create the environment that allows me to buy that?
00:28:25 Marcus
And if I.
00:28:26 Marcus
Don't get the.
00:28:26 Marcus
House, actually, I'm OK.
00:28:28 Marcus
With it, yeah.
00:28:29 Alison
Sure, sure.
00:28:29 Marcus
But taking action is the key, you.
00:28:32 Marcus
Don't need to.
00:28:32 Marcus
Know how, but you need to take the action. And why are you taking?
00:28:35 Marcus
That action, how important it.
00:28:37 Alison
Brilliant. There you go. So if there's one small thing that you can do out there, whoever you are listening in, who is wanting to do something that they haven't quite worked out, how they were gonna find out one small thing so.
00:28:49 Marcus
Yeah, look at the micro, not.
00:28:51 Alison
The macro. Yeah. Love it. Brilliant. OK, well, hopefully we have given people.
00:28:56 Alison
Some thoughts and encouragement to find a different way, maybe to looking for their happiness by actually just assessing the situation or a scenario that they're in through your 3 themes and see what's at the other side of it when you start to challenge yourself gently.
00:29:16 Alison
Respectfully kindly is my always my big thing?
00:29:20 Alison
And you you've got.
00:29:21 Alison
A. A A freebie that's attached to this handy Marcus, that we're gonna put in the show notes for everyone.
00:29:27 Marcus
Yeah. So I thought I'd give this away because it's alright talking about this in theorising around it, but we know that the first law of attraction is not affirmation, it's vibration. So how do you create that that awareness in your body of that? So yeah, I'm gonna give my feelings of happiness immersion so free free that I give away which will introduce you to your real self. Right.
00:29:46 Marcus
D so wear it with headphones.
00:29:48 Marcus
And it those it it will bring.
00:29:50 Marcus
Together, those three voices in your.
00:29:52 Marcus
Head to make you.
00:29:54 Marcus
Feel more into how you can be more.
00:29:57 Marcus
Aligned to your true.
00:29:57 Marcus
Purpose. So I hope everybody enjoys it.
00:29:59 Alison
We love it. Thank you so much for that. We've also put all of your links into our show notes so that everybody can check you out. If anyone's more interested in following up with Marcus, please do so.
00:30:13 Marcus
Yes, thank you. I appreciate that. Thank.
00:30:15 Alison
You so much.
00:30:15 Alison
For coming and creating this podcast with me today.
00:30:18 Marcus
And it's been awesome and I think that's the thing, isn't it? It's collective people coming together. You're not on your own. I think that's the message. You're not on your own. There are people like you and I and other people that are actually wanna empower people to change their lives. And yeah, it's an honour to always be invited on to put somebody's.
00:30:33 Marcus
Podcast. So thank you very much.
00:30:35 Alison
Thank you. OK. So that's it for this week. Next week we have got Kirsty Knight and she and I are going to be exploring work life balance. So I hope you can.
00:30:46 Alison
TuneIn then?
00:30:50 Alison
Thank you.
00:30:50 Alison
Listening and sharing in this episode of Mental Wealth. Remember, you can subscribe wherever you get your podcast. My last question to you is what is the one small thing that you can take action on from this episode? Message me.
00:31:07 Alison
On Instagram or through our website with questions you'd like me to explore.
00:31:12 Alison
You'll find the links in the.
00:31:13 Alison
Show notes.
00:31:14 Alison
I'll be back with more tools and tips to.
00:31:16 Alison
Make sense of your mind.
00:31:18
The next episode.
00:31:19 Alison
In the meantime, be kind to yourself. Bye for now.