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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Hi and welcome to the You world order showcase. Podcast today we have with us Junie Moon, who is a love coach and women's empowerment leader. She helps women break free from past relationship, baggage.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: and unleash their fabulous, true self. Once they fall in love with themselves, they easily attract their divine right partner.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And she's also the host of the Midlife Love out loud podcast welcome to the show. Joni, it's great to have you here.

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Junie Moon: Thank you. Thank you. So good to be here.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: So tell us your story. How did you get involved in this.

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Junie Moon: How did I get involved in helping

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Junie Moon: single women in the second half of life? Actually, not just single women, but women in general that want a spectacular second act, and having deep love and relationships and all the yummy stuff. Well, that's been my journey, you know. I was in a 20 year marriage walking on eggshells, not really getting my needs met.

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Junie Moon: It was challenging. I micromanaged everything, and I was unhappy, and I did the best I could, and then I kind of woke up, and I woke up after I hit 200 pounds on a 5 foot 3 body, thinking that you know something was really wrong with me. And ultimately what was quote wrong with me? Because there's nothing wrong with any of us. But what was happening was there was a lot

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Junie Moon: underneath the surface that just wasn't

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Junie Moon: being taken care of, and low self-esteem and fear of being rejected. And all this stuff.

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Junie Moon: And so I discovered a body of work called shadow work, among other tools, but that was the biggest one, and I suddenly found myself. I found my voice. I found my self-worth I found healthy boundaries, and sadly, the relationship didn't last.

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Junie Moon: However, I left that relationship, and I went into another relationship pretty soon out the gate. Not necessarily something I recommend, but for me it worked, and I discovered what I call next level love, where I could be myself

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Junie Moon: and relax and be loved for just who I am, and to have the extraordinary deep connection. And and Sally, that didn't last, not because of the love, but because of circumstances.

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Junie Moon: And that's another story for another day. Suffice it to say, I knew it could be so much better, and I experienced this depth of of divine connection.

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Junie Moon: and then I dove into dating

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Junie Moon: and realized I didn't know anything about dating. I made all the mistakes.

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Junie Moon: so put it all together. For the last 15 years I have found a very specific system. I've created a system to help women really put a stake in the ground for beautiful next level love, and whether they have a partner or not, they come home to their hearts.

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Junie Moon: and they also know how to date. Well, if that's what they want to do, and and because I did it, and I never thought I could do it. And, by the way, you know, I lost 50 pounds and kept it off for over 20 years give or take, things have changed. And I knew that

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Junie Moon: I not only was onto something, but there was something really not talked about overall in our culture, in, in the world, which is the unconscious beliefs

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Junie Moon: keep us stuck. So I'm so passionate and dedicated to helping women rise up and be themselves and love it.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: That is so amazing. And it's not an uncommon story. You meet women who've been in and out of relationships, and we tend to like make the same mistakes over and over, because we just don't know any better, and you seek what you think feels comfortable. But it's just familiar and comfortable and familiar aren't always the same thing.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Don't you find.

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Junie Moon: Yeah. And that's like, there's a lot with what you've just said. You know. So you know, it's interesting. Because if you've left a relationship.

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Junie Moon: You know what you don't want. Oh, I don't want someone who's a bully. I don't want somebody who just is selfish, you know all the things. So if we know all the things, why do we end up in these relationships that suddenly are either exactly what we had before or the complete opposite, which a lot of times isn't good either, and so comfortable

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Junie Moon: isn't necessarily a good thing either. Again, you have to kind of tweeze it out, so I always say to people when they are in a relationship or dating.

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Junie Moon: are you comfortable? Are you feeling relaxed? Are you feeling safe? Is your nervous system like.

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Junie Moon: that's good. That's a really healthy, comfortable, however, for familiar, and I like I don't know the roots, and you know Latin or whatever. But when you think of familiar family? There's usually

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Junie Moon: that familiar feeling with a lot of dysfunction. And so if you're used to bad behavior, if you're used to not being treated well, if you have taken on a lot of beliefs through your life a lot of when you were a kid, and then it just got worse and worse and worse, that it can feel familiar. And you think, oh, oh, this is good, because I know this territory! And yet the territory might be very unhealthy. And that's when relationships really

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Junie Moon: go South and people suffer. So

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Junie Moon: that's why I do the work I do, because people keep ending up in relationships or staying too long because it does feel. Quote, comfortable or familiar.

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Junie Moon: And that doesn't necessarily mean it's a good thing.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And there's so many options out there. And I love that you're you're exploring ending relationships and beginning new relationships. We

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: lived in a society for a long time that just really

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: hounded on the idea that you had to stay with one person forever.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: What are your thoughts about that.

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Junie Moon: This is what we're dealing with is the paradigms, the things that we've stepped into as soon as we take our 1st breath. This is how it looks. This is what a good little girl looks like. This is what a successful, you know. Woman or man looks like, you know. Check the boxes get married. Have the 2 kids, or what you know, it's like all the programming, all the programming. So the whole thing about staying with one person for the rest of your life. That's another belief.

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Junie Moon: and

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Junie Moon: things are changing because we live longer now. So many years ago people did stay with the same person for the 1st 40, 50 years, because most people didn't live much past that. But now we are. And so if you look at so like a percentage or a big percentage of the divorces happen with people in their forties and fifties, because suddenly you're in a different place.

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Junie Moon: Your hormones are different. You're wired differently. You have a different trajectory for your life. And that person you married 1020, 30 years ago may not fit the life that you are in now. So if you have a really great friendship, if you really have a great partnership, maybe you're in a different place, and maybe you can go the distance because there's a way to navigate the next.

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Junie Moon: However, what I see more than not is either people stay because they think they should, and that partner really isn't a good partner for them anymore, or they leave because they are different.

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Junie Moon: They are different.

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Junie Moon: And I know that was true for me. When I was in my forties, and I woke up.

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Junie Moon: I begged, I begged my husband

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Junie Moon: we need help, but he was a bully, he was, and he would be in my face if you think with a finger in my face. If you think we have a problem, you know it's you that has the problem. You go to therapy. He had. He wanted nothing to do with looking at what was going on, so he wasn't willing or ready, and he apologized a few years later, but he wasn't ready to do the work, and I looked at it. I'm like, all right. I'm in my mid forties.

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Junie Moon: This is who I am. This is the kind of life I want. This is the kind of partner I want. This is what I deserve, and all of those things I didn't have before.

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Junie Moon: and so I claimed that second half, and I left him.

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Junie Moon: So we are taught how to be how to fit in, how to not make waves, how to survive. That's

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Junie Moon: that's in our DNA. And then it's reinforced with our culture, cultural norms and our parents and our teachers. And if we're lucky, we start to find out that there's way more to how we do our life than just what we've been given.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah, and we don't have to.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: it seems to me. And you know I'm on. I'm the

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I'm on the other end of life.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: and I can look back. And I've had 2 relationships, 2 marriages. I've been married for over 40 years.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: close to 50 years now.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I got married when I was in was 22, I think.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: to my 1st husband, and then I married my second husband a week after I divorced my 1st husband, and I was single for 5 days between the 2.

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Junie Moon: Wow! 2 marriages! You go fast!

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I I kind of I needed help is really the reason that I got married the second time. But we've been married for 30 years.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It it and it works. But we're

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: he spent most of our our

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: our marriage. He was on the road, so he was gone a lot. I had a lot of space.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: and I found out who I was, and I've learned to develop boundaries. And now that we've been living together, it's really like we just got married a couple years ago when he retired. So

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: we're we're having a really good time with each other. But we respect each other's space, which is something that we've learned

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: that we both need and want over the years.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: and we're really good friends. And we.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: you know, it's just. It's really a good good situation. But that doesn't really work for most people. If you if you're jumping

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: into another relationship and thinking it's going to happen long term, yeah, you're yeah. And and.

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Junie Moon: You're.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You need to do some soul searching first.st

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Junie Moon: Yeah. Soul searching, unpacking, looking at.

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Junie Moon: you know, finding out what's in in shadow. What? What's what are the blind spots? What have you lost access to, because you're afraid that something bad might happen. Or you know, we we pick up these behaviors to make things work. And last.

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Junie Moon: because underneath

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Junie Moon: we do have that survival instinct. We we don't want to be left. We don't want to disappoint, we don't want to have pain, and so we sometimes don't look at some of the things. Lucky you you had some space

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Junie Moon: to discover some of these things. Not everybody has that. And you also mentioned one very important word, which is friendship. I mean, my partner and I are best friends, and you know it's like, when when stuff happens, it's like, I know that he's got my back.

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Junie Moon: and I am able to express

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Junie Moon: comfortably what my needs are. I couldn't do that until I was able to really own that my needs matter, that I'm important, that I'm worthy of receiving support and vice versa, because he's done a hell of a lot of work on himself. So

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Junie Moon: yeah, you're you are blessed and lucky, and you sounds like you've worked it. And then you've navigated this new chapter of

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Junie Moon: oh, we both have to respect each other's space and time. You you're you were able. You had enough of the ingredients

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Junie Moon: to go the distance, and you did your work.

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Junie Moon: and the thing is is that when I when I work with my clients I mean I had this this one client that's coming to mind right now, you know, she just was so afraid of losing

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Junie Moon: the love. And so she was kind of like a doormat. She was a people pleaser. She was just so scared to be alone for a lot of her

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Junie Moon: history that was very painful, and so she did everything she could to make sure the relationship worked. But that meant a lot of sacrifice, and of course we all compromise and sacrifice up to a point, but she was literally abandoning herself and not getting her needs met in the name of. I need to keep this going. So she didn't have that space and time like you did.

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Junie Moon: And even if she did have the space and time if she just did it on her own. Most people cannot see. In fact, I'm just going to say all people cannot see the blind spots because they're in shadow, and so sometimes we could figure it out as we go. However, when there are deep seated fears or

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Junie Moon: programming from the past, it's so important to have somebody that is skilled in getting beyond the conscious mind, because the conscious mind is only 5% of our brain. So 95% is everything you've experienced. And that's what's running the show. So you had some time and people jumping into a relationship right away without doing the unpacking without really knowing

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Junie Moon: what is what needs to be healed inside of me. It's an uphill, and I'm going to say battle because it is. It's a lot of suffering, unnecessary suffering. And that's that's why I really put a stake in the ground for what I did and what I help others do now, which is, who are you now? What do you need to unplug from the past?

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Junie Moon: Learn from it, and then arrive into this new place so that you can have new and better and different, because if you don't.

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Junie Moon: even if you think you know what you don't want sadly the shadows will appear, and there's pain and guess what whatever's unhealed inside of you. You're going to draw in with that other person with their shadows.

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Junie Moon: and it's messy, and it just doesn't have to be so painful.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It really doesn't. But I and it's it's wonderful when people like you come along that are out there saying, Hey, let me just

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: show you the ropes, because

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: the idea, I think people stay in relationships because the idea of not having anyone is horrifying in a lot of ways. And you know that thought that? Oh, my God! I'm going to have to date, and the whole dating world is different. And we're

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: we're entering a time where more and more women over 40 are starting to become single and recognizing that, hey, this relationship isn't working for me anymore. And it's not that I hate this person. It's just that

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: they're not.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: They're not the person that I need alongside of me to

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: enhance my life and enhance what I'm here to do because we're all here to do something.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You know we didn't. I don't believe we're just randomly placed on this place. I it just like

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: it. It doesn't make any sense to me that people would just randomly come here.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: So when you stuck in relationships that aren't really helping you be the best you

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: you're really denying the whole rest of us.

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Junie Moon: Yeah.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: What you're here to to serve with.

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Junie Moon: Absolutely absolutely. I love that.

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Junie Moon: It's such a disservice

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Junie Moon: to yourself and to others. If you can't just be you, you got the job. There's nobody else that has your job of being you. And so if you don't allow yourself to shine your light, your essence of who you really are, then you you are robbing yourself of this grand life, experience, and other people that you come in contact with, to really know your specialness.

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Junie Moon: shadow and light, because none of us are perfect, and the other word that you use I want to hone in on is enhance like people come into our life, and ideally, they are not our life, but they're adding to our life. They're enhancing our life. So here we are to have this interesting human experience.

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Junie Moon: and hopefully, fully, and that's what I support the women to experience, which is

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Junie Moon: their full out expression, to live with, with abandon unapologetically, and if they choose to bring in a partner, or if they call, you know, if somebody is attracted to them in that energy, they add on.

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Junie Moon: they don't detract.

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Junie Moon: and that's what I love about the clients I work with, because they're like, yeah, I'm not accepting less than that anymore. I'm not accepting bad behavior. And yet

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Junie Moon: I've done that in the past.

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Junie Moon: It's an intellectual. I'm not doing that again, and yet the wiring needs to be rewired. That's why I have that quiz. You mentioned the quiz when we were talking before we started.

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Junie Moon: It's called, Discover your love avatar, Quiz and I spent a lot of time creating this, and I'm so proud of it, because it spits out information about your love avatar, and how you're wired. How confident are you! How

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Junie Moon: how do you feel with your worthiness and your boundaries. Where are you on the spectrum? And when you get to see how relationship ready you are, whether you're in a relationship or not, that you get a full report on. This is your superpower. You're really good at this piece.

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Junie Moon: and there might be some things here that might be tripping you up. And here are some next steps to support some of those blind spots, some of those weak muscles, if you will, because we all have those blind spots we all have had a life, and to live fully we need to know ourselves on such a deep level.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I. Yeah, I can't agree with you more. I. The

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: the things that you don't know about yourself

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: are the things that you see in other people often that drive you crazy, and you don't understand why they're bugging you. But

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: if you don't look at them and address them and recognize that it's not because you're flawed in some way. You just have areas that you're not as powerful as you are in other areas. I mean, everybody's built like that. And if you're if you're constantly

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: allowing yourself to be around people that are

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: hitting those triggers, my husband and I call it pushing each other's buttons.

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Junie Moon: Yep.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It's very easy to get into relationships and push each other's buttons, and those are the things that are really painful to you and

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: you.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You may or even may not recognize them, because oftentimes you don't even realize that this is something that triggers you and that other person will just like.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: keep hitting it, and you don't have to stay with that. But you do need to recognize that it exists so that you don't get yourself in those situations anymore where you're

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: you're getting.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You're allowing people to push your buttons.

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Junie Moon: Okay, there's so much there. So.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Okay.

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Junie Moon: That which triggers you or pushes your buttons. By the way, if you're in a relationship and you're not noticing it.

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Junie Moon: it's familiar. So so anytime, and the and one of the biggest challenges. And we all know this

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Junie Moon: is, it's so easy to blame the other person and go. It's their fault. They're the asshole. They're the ones they're the.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: They always.

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Junie Moon: Inside herself right? And it's not to say that they are not

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Junie Moon: contributing or having bad behavior. My ex had bully energy. He was inappropriate in a lot of ways, but my reaction, my experience was mine.

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Junie Moon: And so when there's a trigger, when you have your button pushed.

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Junie Moon: and this is why I do this work because you don't want a lot of buttons pushed the more you have underneath the surface of there's a wound there. There's a wound there. There's a wound there!

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Junie Moon: You're going to call in somebody who is going to push those buttons because you have wounds that want to be healed.

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Junie Moon: If there's something inside of you that has not been worked out.

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Junie Moon: you will call in and attract somebody that will poke those buttons, because on some soul level. You want to heal.

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Junie Moon: So if you are seeing somebody that is doing something, and you are in reaction. And I'm not talking about. Oh, I really don't like that. But under my skin you use those words. If somebody's under your skin, it is a brilliant opportunity for healing, for you

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Junie Moon: get curious? Huh! What is it about them that is pissing me off? What is about that quality

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Junie Moon: in them? Oh, they're so aggressive, or they're so selfish, or they're so lazy. Anytime you point a finger at a quality at somebody. You are in the shadow realms, because if you are charged in some way. Let's just use the word lazy, for example, if you're like, oh, my God! I just hate people that just

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Junie Moon: just don't, you know, put themselves out there and and go for the gold, or have ambition. They're so lazy. If you let's just say that as an example, how in my world, in my, in in the body of work that I do the shadow work. What we say is laziness.

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Junie Moon: Laziness is probably in shadow for you somewhere along the way you decided.

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Junie Moon: most likely, on an unconscious level, that people like them are bad.

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Junie Moon: Maybe you grew up and you had a parent that drink a lot

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Junie Moon: was on the couch a lot wasn't working a lot, and you witnessed the other parent working their ass off to make things work. You might have realized that's bad laziness and working is good.

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Junie Moon: And so if you throw away a quality example, laziness, then you're going to go. I never want to be like that.

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Junie Moon: So it's going to piss you off and irk you if you see it in someone else.

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Junie Moon: and then you do the opposite. Well, I'm never going to be lazy. I'm going to work, work, work, work, work.

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Junie Moon: And so

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Junie Moon: we throw the baby out with the bathwater, because inside the energy of laziness, because it's not all bad

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Junie Moon: laziness can also be.

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Junie Moon: I'm gonna have a lazy Sunday. I'm gonna relax.

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Junie Moon: I'm going to read a book.

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Junie Moon: I'm not going to work so hard I'm going to find balance.

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Junie Moon: I'm going to be able to nurture myself. But if you have not dealt with the shadow

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Junie Moon: you're going to get poked.

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Junie Moon: and if you take your shadows with you into your next relationship, the more you have the more volatile it'll be great opportunity for growth. It's just gonna be painful.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: For everybody, too, because it's not a relationship is not ever just one human being. And whether it's a dating relationship, or you were talking about

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: laziness. And I, this is like that was so interesting to me, and I'll just take it to a personal level. I have a brother-in-law who doesn't work. He's been homeless.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You hit a chord with my brother-in-law, because

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: he, though he's a a perfectly fine human being, and having the experience he's here to have he?

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: He lacks a motivation to work by the definitions that I have applied to people who are not lazy.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: So

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: he he's been homeless a lot of his life, and he doesn't seem to mind, and he lives in a trailer and somebody else's backyard and does odd jobs

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: very, very sparingly. But

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: he we. We send him a phone and we pay for his phone service so that we can get in touch with him. But we can't send him money because he's also an alcoholic, and he last couple of times we've sent him money, he ended up in the hospital, so we just don't want to do that.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: but I find that the reason that it triggers me so much is that I have a hard time just stopping.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: So I've made for myself time in my day where I have a couple hours that I am. I

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: actively am lazy.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I play games on my phone.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I watch mindless television, and I don't feel guilty about it.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I I do it by myself. My husband doesn't even come upstairs during that time. It's just my time to be lazy, and I do it every day

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: because of that reason. It's like, I know that I'm a very driven person, and I get up at like 4 or 5 in the morning, and I start working.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: and I will work until late in the afternoon, because that's

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: that's that's the thing that I've always

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: felt passionate about, but that it just goes back to your your point that if you don't recognize the shadow stuff

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: like I could be really nasty to my own husband because

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: he likes to have time to himself, and he likes to do nothing. He has the nothing box.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It's like you can come in, but don't rearrange the furniture.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I don't always have to be doing something unlike you.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: and and I've had to learn that. You know it's okay.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It it's not a judgment on who he is. It's just that

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: that that's a part of that is a part of who he is.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: and I don't have to feel bad about it, and I can enjoy.

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Junie Moon: Would, and yet you would if it was in shadow if you had some wounding or an experience like. I don't have that in shadow. But but if I did.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I would be like looking at my partner going, you know.

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Junie Moon: Get going. What's wrong with you? Oh, my God, you know. So that's why this work is so special. It's like when you.

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Junie Moon: when you uncover these ouchy places and these beliefs.

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Junie Moon: then you have more compassion for yourself. You have more balance inside yourself. You get to enjoy your life more fully, and

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Junie Moon: it works better with other people. If you haven't dealt with this stuff, and you don't know how to find that balance and self-care and the ability to express yourself without the fear of whatever criticism, whatever it is.

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Junie Moon: you're going to not be fully engaged. You're not going to be relaxed. You're not going to be enjoying the journey, because there's always a part of you that's going. Oh, be careful. Don't let the shit hit the fan, you know. So yeah, sorry about your brother-in-law. That sounds challenging. And yet, and yet.

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Junie Moon: as you said, this is kind of, he's kind of okay with it. And

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Junie Moon: just our beliefs right there. It's like our judgment potentially of oh.

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Junie Moon: he's living in a trailer. He's suffering like those are our beliefs, you know, and that's so. Coming

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Junie Moon: to this place of curiosity and being aware of where we're triggered, being aware of our beliefs around other people and ourselves. That's a great place to start. And if you've been in a relationship or are in a relationship where there's just a lot of volatility, or you're not relaxed. And you're

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Junie Moon: trying so hard to navigate the waters.

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Junie Moon: There's something there to be healed, and that's a wonderful thing.

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Junie Moon: and it takes some awareness. It takes some support, and reading books and doing workshops and having life coaches

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Junie Moon: great up to a point, gives you lots of information. Therapy up to a point, gives you lots of information, and if you just have information and understanding. You're not going to get the healing. You got to get into the unconscious realm and release and heal and let it go.

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Junie Moon: I I'm and understand till the end of my days.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I couldn't agree with you more. And it's it's really about understanding why you have these

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: these pieces in there, and they come in all kinds of flavors, and we're getting ready for the holidays, though this isn't going to actually come out until February. But we have expectations. We're raised with expectations about how things are supposed to look.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I grew up in a household where we always used the fine china on holidays, and

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: now I go over to my daughter-in-law's house, and we eat on paper plates and use plastic software.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It's just.

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Junie Moon: I know I do the same thing now.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Like, why, why are we doing all this stuff that's like so

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: labor intensive. And we split up the meal. You know, I used to cook everything, and we'd have these elaborate spreads. Holidays were not fun for me, because it was just so much damn work.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: But now I can have a good time. I we don't.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: because I sold it to them.

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Junie Moon: You know you cut out for a second. Now you can have a good time. What did you say.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Because we go to their house. We don't. We're not at my house anymore.

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Junie Moon: Yeah, nice. You get to relax.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I can go and have fun, and

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: you know it. It can be that way in all of your relationships. And when you do this kind of shadow work, and you're you expose yourself to the

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: to the lens of somebody else helping you. It allows you to make changes in your life that will just like.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Not only will you draw in your next level relationship with a partner, but it'll take your relationships with everybody else to the next level.

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Junie Moon: Yeah, 100% 100%.

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Junie Moon: Yeah. So I do what I do. And yes, I focus primarily on relationships. And I've had people that want to lose weight, or I have people that you know want to take their career to the next level. It's like, if you don't, it's all the same thing. It's like, what? What's holding you back? Why are you acting the way you're acting? Why do you have the behaviors? Why do you have those thoughts

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Junie Moon: again, you can understand them, but to truly unplug and shift and heal, you got to go into the, to the unconscious realm, and

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Junie Moon: and then embrace, being awake and aware in a whole new way.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah, for sure.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: So why do you think so many women actually sabotage themselves this way?

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Junie Moon: You know, it really does come back to just fear it really does. You know, we are wired for survival when we take our 1st breath.

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Junie Moon: Our our bodies, our DNA. You know the the many, many thousands and thousands of years of do not get kicked out of the tribe, or you're going to die in the wilderness

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Junie Moon: that still lives inside of us, you know. Yes, we we, I

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Junie Moon: truly believe we desire deserve pleasure and all the wonderful things that we want with that said at the end of the day. If you're in a house having the best sex of your life, if it's burning down. You're going to get out of the house. You're not going to go. Oh, my God! This is the best sex of my life.

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Junie Moon: I'll deal with with the burning, you know. So so we're wired for survival. And so what does that mean? Then it means that we're going to be careful. It means that we're not going to rock the boat. We're not going to take chances where we think we can get hurt or left, or feel like we're disappointing somebody. We avoid pain like the plague. So

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Junie Moon: yeah, we don't want to be alone on some level.

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Junie Moon: We don't want to have that pain. And so in this body of work we call this part inside of you, called the risk manager, and this part is assessing risks. Danger has the radar for danger, and so, if it sees that you might open up your heart again

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Junie Moon: after you just had it destroyed in your last relationship.

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Junie Moon: it's going to find ways to sabotage you if you decide that you want to go for a new career, and there's a part of you that, you know has experience of debt or things crashing and burning, or people not respecting you, or whatever the story is, that part inside of you is going to be like, okay, we need to find a way to have her stay in the job that she's at.

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Junie Moon: And so one of the biggest tools of the risk manager is your inner critic.

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Junie Moon: And so

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Junie Moon: here you are desiring. Let's just use relationship, because that is my jam. So let's just say you're looking to get out there and date, or you're in a relationship. And it's not working. And you're in pain. The risk manager might be like, Oh, shit, we need to stop this right now. Okay, let's let's just have her think she's too fat, too old, too ugly. Let's just tell her no one's gonna want her. Let's

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Junie Moon: have her watch TV and just avoid dating altogether. That'll do it. Let's just keep her distracted. So we have all these

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Junie Moon: patterns of behavior that sabotage, because on some level, it's a part of you that's going. If we do this, we can keep her safe. She doesn't have to take the chance anymore. Same thing for being in a relationship. Well, if you speak up, if you really ask for something different, if you ask for more time to be alone or ask for more time to be with them, or you want to go on a vacation, or whatever it is. The last time you did that it was a big fight he called you selfish.

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Junie Moon: Don't do that.

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Junie Moon: And so you find sabotaging behaviors to keep you from taking that chance.

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Junie Moon: So, on the one hand, the risk manager is in service to keep you safe.

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Junie Moon: On the other hand.

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Junie Moon: there's pain associated with keeping you safe, and that's when people come to me. They're like

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Junie Moon: I'm in pain. I'm not putting myself out there. I don't know how to date anymore. I'm scared. I dated I was in a relationship for over 30 years. Now it's all different. I only dated one person, my husband. I've only had sex with one person, my husband, and now I'm in my sixties, and my vagina is dry, and I'm scared, you know. So so

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Junie Moon: we sabotage to keep us safe.

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Junie Moon: and we need to get that part, the risk manager to see that there's a lot more going on. There's a high price we're paying with the sabotage, but it's on some level in service to us.

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Junie Moon: and it hurts us. So we need to change that.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: So how do you work with people? Is it in groups, or is it one on one? How? How does that look to actually work with you?

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Junie Moon: Thank you for asking that. Most people don't ask that, you know. It really depends on the person

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Junie Moon: and what their needs are. So I. You know I have people. In fact, if you know when people do the the quiz, and I encourage you to do the quiz

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Junie Moon: and look at the report, because there's a lot in there you'll get invited to talk to me for a love breakthrough session, and we talk about what your patterns are. What are your challenges? Where are you headed, or what do you want to have happen? And why don't you have it yet? So we'll we'll pull it apart, and then we look at what would be the best next step for you. So I do both. I have a year-long program called the

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Junie Moon: What is it called midlife love unleashed

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Junie Moon: where we do a lot of the deep dive work and looking at the shadows. And it's in a group format

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Junie Moon: with some private coaching, because the private coaching really is

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Junie Moon: very special one on one work where some of the things might be more sensitive and need that extra special care. So some people really love the group work and bring in the coaching. And so it's a hybrid, and groups are great because you learn so much from each other, and I've created so you can have the one on one as well. And some people really just want to go faster.

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Junie Moon: want to dive deeper and want that special attention, and so I do one on ones as well.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Awesome, awesome. And how can people get in touch with you?

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Junie Moon: Thing to do is to just go to my website, midlifeloveoutloud.com.

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Junie Moon: and and you'll actually see the quiz there as well. And there's a place for contact, and to apply for a love breakthrough session. I open up a handful of spots every month. It's a complimentary 30 min session where you and I.

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Junie Moon: We'll sit down, and I really will get to understand your landscape of your life and what you're desiring and support you, and you'll get a mini love plan in that session, so you'll have some next steps whether we work together or not. So it's a nice way to explore what my coaching might sound like.

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Junie Moon: and how it feels together, and if I have a strong, strong degree of knowing, I can help you, I will let you know that, and if not, we will part as friends. You'll have a little mini plan, and you can

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Junie Moon: go in a different direction. So that's that's the best way is midlifeloveoutloud.com.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Perfect.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: This has been an amazing conversation, Junie, I really appreciate you joining me today. What's the one thing you hope the audience takes away from our conversation.

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Junie Moon: Well, firstly, thank you. You're an amazing host and great questions. It's been wonderful.

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Junie Moon: I think the biggest thing

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Junie Moon: that there are 2 things. One is that healing is possible, that you know what what your reality is right now doesn't have to stay your reality.

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Junie Moon: And I think the biggest thing that I really love to drill home, you know. Drive home, drill home. Whatever is that? There are some other things at play in you. The unconscious realm is huge, the programming is huge. So if you're struggling, if there's something that's not working for you, and you don't understand why or you beat yourself up and are not kind to yourself or gentle, or there's just something going on that just doesn't feel aligned

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Junie Moon: for you, that there's the unconscious realm and all the conditioning that you've picked up along the way. And when you know that

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Junie Moon: just that piece

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Junie Moon: hopefully, that can take a little bit of the sting out and and allow yourself to have more compassion for the fact that you've been

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Junie Moon: programmed to be a certain way to survive, and that awareness can go really far and help you have that healthy discernment of how to heal. So

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Junie Moon: that's what I'm gonna say.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Perfect thanks again for joining me.

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Junie Moon: Thank you, my pleasure.