They're a narcissist, you're a
narcissist, and you keep making mistakes,
2
00:00:03,385 --> 00:00:07,405
and you're not respecting me and
you're betraying. And all this is,
3
00:00:07,425 --> 00:00:09,885
is basically not understanding
how human behavior works.
4
00:00:14,865 --> 00:00:19,565
So often I hear people judging
themselves and beating themselves up over
5
00:00:20,695 --> 00:00:25,165
ideas like, oh, I made a
mistake, I screwed up, or I
keep sabotaging, or I keep,
6
00:00:25,625 --> 00:00:27,525
you know, messing up or whatever.
7
00:00:28,225 --> 00:00:30,285
And I'd like to address
that topic today because,
8
00:00:32,625 --> 00:00:37,365
if we look very carefully at
the times we think other people
9
00:00:37,515 --> 00:00:38,348
make mistakes,
10
00:00:39,345 --> 00:00:44,245
we sometimes are projecting or often
projecting our values onto them and
11
00:00:44,246 --> 00:00:46,284
expecting them to live in our values.
12
00:00:47,784 --> 00:00:51,284
And therefore we're expecting them to
live outside their own values and they're
13
00:00:51,285 --> 00:00:52,925
making decisions based on their values.
14
00:00:53,505 --> 00:00:55,885
And then when we expect
them to live in our values,
15
00:00:56,766 --> 00:00:58,725
we're going to end up
being feeling betrayed.
16
00:00:58,726 --> 00:01:00,045
We're going to feel like
they're screwing up,
17
00:01:00,045 --> 00:01:02,045
feel like they're not
living up to expectation.
18
00:01:03,205 --> 00:01:05,285
Anytime somebody doesn't
live up to our expectation,
19
00:01:06,675 --> 00:01:11,175
our dopamine levels go down and we feel
sorrowed and kind of angry and unmet
20
00:01:11,176 --> 00:01:14,575
expectation. Anytime they
exceed our expectation,
21
00:01:14,595 --> 00:01:17,694
we feel the joy and all this other higher
22
00:01:19,055 --> 00:01:22,305
dopamine response. But we don't,
23
00:01:22,546 --> 00:01:24,825
it's unrealistic to expect
somebody to live in our values.
24
00:01:25,845 --> 00:01:29,465
So anytime we're proud and looking down
on somebody and projecting our values
25
00:01:29,466 --> 00:01:31,105
onto them and expect them
to live in our values,
26
00:01:31,155 --> 00:01:32,985
we're setting ourselves up for betrayal.
27
00:01:32,986 --> 00:01:36,465
We're setting ourselves for thinking
they keep making a mistake and they're
28
00:01:36,466 --> 00:01:36,765
wrong,
29
00:01:36,765 --> 00:01:39,905
and we need to fix them and change them
and get them to be more like the way we
30
00:01:39,906 --> 00:01:43,375
want. And this is an illusion.
31
00:01:43,725 --> 00:01:47,575
They're not actually making
mistakes in their value system.
32
00:01:48,485 --> 00:01:53,455
They're making an assessment and
making a decision based on their
33
00:01:53,456 --> 00:01:56,495
values in that moment with the
information that they've got.
34
00:01:57,115 --> 00:01:59,615
And in their value system,
it's not a mistake.
35
00:01:59,885 --> 00:02:02,295
They're making a decision based
on what they're perceiving.
36
00:02:02,915 --> 00:02:07,415
But in our perception and our
values, we may label them a mistake.
37
00:02:08,285 --> 00:02:10,615
Many times when people
hire people in a company,
38
00:02:12,085 --> 00:02:16,815
they don't realize that if the
individual does not feel that the job
39
00:02:17,375 --> 00:02:20,175
responsibilities is helping them
fulfill what they value most,
40
00:02:20,675 --> 00:02:22,815
and it's not helping
them fulfill their life,
41
00:02:23,764 --> 00:02:28,095
they'll keep doing things that are more
fulfilling. And then you'll think, well,
42
00:02:28,096 --> 00:02:30,294
I've hired the wrong person, or I've,
43
00:02:30,435 --> 00:02:34,975
and in some cases you have not screened
that individual out to see if they're
44
00:02:34,976 --> 00:02:36,655
really engaged and
inspired to do the work.
45
00:02:37,395 --> 00:02:40,535
And so that's a lesson in feedback to
let you know that who you're hiring.
46
00:02:41,275 --> 00:02:43,695
But to label them and say,
well they keep making mistakes,
47
00:02:43,696 --> 00:02:45,014
they keep not doing what I've asked,
48
00:02:45,635 --> 00:02:47,975
is an expectation of them
to just live in your values.
49
00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:53,735
So if you're employer and you're
employing people you want to know
50
00:02:54,255 --> 00:02:55,135
a very simple thing,
51
00:02:55,375 --> 00:02:59,014
is how specifically is the job duties
helping them fulfill what's most
52
00:02:59,044 --> 00:03:01,565
meaningful to them? Nobody goes
to work for the sake of a company.
53
00:03:01,764 --> 00:03:03,205
They go to work for
fulfilling their values.
54
00:03:04,105 --> 00:03:07,044
If they are engaged and are
inspired to do the work,
55
00:03:07,145 --> 00:03:09,605
and they can see how the job
responsibilities will do that,
56
00:03:10,185 --> 00:03:13,325
the probability of you labeling
them making mistakes goes down.
57
00:03:14,475 --> 00:03:16,445
Because they're fulfilling
what's valuable to them,
58
00:03:16,446 --> 00:03:18,525
and they're making
decisions according to that.
59
00:03:19,825 --> 00:03:24,725
If you also expect yourself to
live in somebody else's values,
60
00:03:25,335 --> 00:03:28,965
let's say you infatuate with somebody and
put them on a pedestal and inject some
61
00:03:28,966 --> 00:03:30,044
of their values into your life,
62
00:03:30,264 --> 00:03:33,085
and you're too humble to admit what
you see in them is inside you and you
63
00:03:33,086 --> 00:03:36,045
playing small to them
and inject their values,
64
00:03:36,505 --> 00:03:39,365
and you try to live in their values,
you'll think, what am I doing wrong?
65
00:03:39,485 --> 00:03:43,845
I keep sabotaging, I keep having limited
beliefs, I keep not being disciplined,
66
00:03:43,905 --> 00:03:46,285
I'm not focused, I keep making mistakes.
67
00:03:46,875 --> 00:03:50,005
Because you're trying to live in
somebody else's value when in fact,
68
00:03:50,006 --> 00:03:53,005
you're here to design to
live in your own. Now,
69
00:03:53,065 --> 00:03:57,325
if you can see how you can fulfill
your own values by fulfilling theirs,
70
00:03:57,465 --> 00:04:00,405
that's fine. You can do
that. But in reality,
71
00:04:00,555 --> 00:04:03,445
many people are going around
thinking, I keep making mistakes.
72
00:04:04,045 --> 00:04:08,245
I keep screwing up. I keep having
limited beliefs. I keep having sabotage.
73
00:04:08,405 --> 00:04:12,245
I keep, you know, not
being focused. I asked,
74
00:04:12,265 --> 00:04:14,845
in 1980s, I asked many,
75
00:04:14,846 --> 00:04:18,285
many groups that I was speaking to to
write down the number one question you'd
76
00:04:18,286 --> 00:04:21,085
like to have addressed
in this presentation.
77
00:04:21,625 --> 00:04:24,245
And to just to gather data to see
what people are interested in.
78
00:04:25,065 --> 00:04:25,898
And believe it or not,
79
00:04:25,904 --> 00:04:28,685
one of the most common things
in the 1980s that I found was,
80
00:04:29,025 --> 00:04:30,125
how do I stay focused?
81
00:04:30,995 --> 00:04:35,045
Many people are trying to live in other
people's values and then wondering why
82
00:04:35,046 --> 00:04:39,045
they can't stay focused and they're not
disciplined and they're not staying on
83
00:04:39,046 --> 00:04:39,865
track.
84
00:04:39,865 --> 00:04:42,605
And that's because they're trying to
live in somebody else's values and trying
85
00:04:42,606 --> 00:04:44,565
to be somebody they're not,
instead of being who they are.
86
00:04:45,225 --> 00:04:46,245
And this is very common.
87
00:04:47,105 --> 00:04:50,885
So as long as you go around and
project your values onto others,
88
00:04:50,904 --> 00:04:53,445
you're going to expect them to live in
your values and you're going to feel
89
00:04:53,446 --> 00:04:57,045
betrayed and you're going to feel that
they're not living up to what you expect
90
00:04:57,065 --> 00:05:00,245
and thinking they're making mistakes and
you want to fix them and change them.
91
00:05:00,904 --> 00:05:02,404
And people want to be
loved for who they are.
92
00:05:02,405 --> 00:05:04,605
And who they are is reflection
of what they value most.
93
00:05:04,925 --> 00:05:06,964
Their highest value is
their ontological identity,
94
00:05:06,965 --> 00:05:08,445
and that's what their
life revolves around.
95
00:05:09,385 --> 00:05:12,365
So if you don't know what that is and
you expect them to live outside that,
96
00:05:12,865 --> 00:05:17,325
you're going to feel that they're
making mistakes and label them you know,
97
00:05:17,835 --> 00:05:20,445
incompetent, you're going to put
all kind of labels on people.
98
00:05:20,665 --> 00:05:23,685
But in their values, they're
very competent, in their values,
99
00:05:23,964 --> 00:05:26,525
they don't make mistakes, in their
values they're doing quite well,
100
00:05:27,345 --> 00:05:29,325
except that they're not
doing it in your values.
101
00:05:30,255 --> 00:05:33,915
So it's very important to stop and reflect
and look at what your highest values
102
00:05:33,975 --> 00:05:35,795
are. Look at what other
people's highest values,
103
00:05:36,535 --> 00:05:39,714
and if you want them to do
something that's important to you,
104
00:05:40,255 --> 00:05:42,435
so they're less likely
to make "a mistake",
105
00:05:42,785 --> 00:05:47,115
then articulate what you want done in a
way where they're getting their highest
106
00:05:47,135 --> 00:05:51,355
values met, so then they have an engaged
position where they're going to do it,
107
00:05:51,695 --> 00:05:53,835
and then they, you don't
think they make mistakes.
108
00:05:54,495 --> 00:05:59,325
But if they are not seeing
the correlations between
what you want done and what
109
00:05:59,326 --> 00:06:02,525
their values are, they're going to
make decisions based on their values,
110
00:06:02,545 --> 00:06:04,285
and you're going to think there's
something wrong with them,
111
00:06:04,505 --> 00:06:07,445
you're going to want to fix them.
And this happens in relationship.
112
00:06:07,765 --> 00:06:10,605
Two people that are in a relationship
with two different sets of values,
113
00:06:11,105 --> 00:06:12,205
two hierarchy of values.
114
00:06:13,045 --> 00:06:16,485
If you can't see how their highest
values help you fulfill yours,
115
00:06:16,585 --> 00:06:17,725
you're going to want to fix them.
116
00:06:18,795 --> 00:06:21,855
If they can't see how your highest
values help them fulfill theirs,
117
00:06:22,245 --> 00:06:23,375
they're going to want to fix you.
118
00:06:23,875 --> 00:06:28,214
If two people are in their amygdala and
they're driven for pride and thinking
119
00:06:28,215 --> 00:06:32,495
their values are right and your values
are wrong, imagine those two clashing.
120
00:06:33,135 --> 00:06:34,214
You got a lot of conflict there.
121
00:06:34,435 --> 00:06:37,415
And you both keep thinking yourselves
are narcissists, they're a narcissist,
122
00:06:37,416 --> 00:06:38,249
you're a narcissist,
123
00:06:38,515 --> 00:06:42,615
and you keep making mistakes and you're
not respecting me and you're betraying.
124
00:06:43,235 --> 00:06:46,615
And all this is, is basically not
understanding how human behavior works,
125
00:06:46,755 --> 00:06:49,935
how that people make decisions
according to their values, not yours.
126
00:06:50,395 --> 00:06:52,335
And they don't make
mistakes in their values.
127
00:06:52,455 --> 00:06:56,015
They're making an assessment according
to the data that they're perceiving.
128
00:06:56,595 --> 00:06:59,775
And it's only labeled a mistake by
somebody who has a different set of values
129
00:06:59,885 --> 00:07:04,255
many times. So watch out
for the projection of the
idea that they're mistaken.
130
00:07:04,975 --> 00:07:07,295
You may be thinking, well,
you keep making mistakes,
131
00:07:07,315 --> 00:07:10,295
but that's because you're expecting
yourself to live outside your own highest
132
00:07:10,296 --> 00:07:14,375
values. And that's the frustration.
I have people, you know,
133
00:07:14,575 --> 00:07:16,855
they go out and they say, well, I
want to be financially independent.
134
00:07:17,115 --> 00:07:19,495
And they don't have a real
value on financial independence.
135
00:07:19,496 --> 00:07:23,135
They have a value on buying immediate
gratifying consumables that depreciate in
136
00:07:23,136 --> 00:07:25,415
value, and they can't seem to get
ahead, and they keep thinking,
137
00:07:25,416 --> 00:07:28,735
I keep making mistakes, I keep being
sidetracked, I keep not being disciplined.
138
00:07:29,235 --> 00:07:32,575
And they expect themselves to be doing
something that's not really important to
139
00:07:32,815 --> 00:07:35,775
them. But they think it's important to
them. They wish it was important to them,
140
00:07:35,776 --> 00:07:37,335
but it's not really important to them.
141
00:07:37,805 --> 00:07:41,055
Your hierarchy of values dictates your
destiny, and it makes all your decisions,
142
00:07:41,155 --> 00:07:43,615
all your perception, decisions
and actions are based on it.
143
00:07:44,115 --> 00:07:47,495
If you expect yourself to live outside
that you're going to feel betrayed,
144
00:07:47,496 --> 00:07:50,735
you're going to feel frustrated, you're
going to end up self depreciating.
145
00:07:51,535 --> 00:07:54,815
A lot of self depreciation comes from
expecting yourself to live in other
146
00:07:54,816 --> 00:07:57,455
people's values, to try to be
second at being somebody else.
147
00:07:58,155 --> 00:08:02,015
That's why the law of contrast leads
to this. Let me give you an example.
148
00:08:02,435 --> 00:08:06,575
If you have a beaker of water
that's really cold, say 40 degrees,
149
00:08:07,295 --> 00:08:11,055
a beaker of water, that's 72 degrees,
tepid, and another beaker water,
150
00:08:11,056 --> 00:08:15,135
that's 140 degrees, hot. If you
put a thermometer in each one,
151
00:08:15,136 --> 00:08:17,895
you'll get those readings, forty,
seventy two, a hundred forty.
152
00:08:19,355 --> 00:08:21,575
But if you take your hand
and put it in the 40 degrees,
153
00:08:21,965 --> 00:08:26,575
make it cold for a minute, then stick
it in the 72 degrees, the tepid,
154
00:08:27,225 --> 00:08:29,855
it'll feel like 90 degrees in comparison.
155
00:08:30,595 --> 00:08:34,175
And if you take the 140 degrees and
stick it in there and go, Ooh, burn,
156
00:08:34,434 --> 00:08:36,815
and then stick it in the tepid,
it'll feel like 50 degrees.
157
00:08:37,595 --> 00:08:39,775
So the second you compare
yourself to somebody else,
158
00:08:39,795 --> 00:08:43,655
you'll have a subjectively
misinterpretation of
the actual temperature.
159
00:08:44,875 --> 00:08:46,895
The second you compare
yourself to somebody else,
160
00:08:46,915 --> 00:08:50,575
you'll have a subjective bias
interpretation thinking there's mistakes,
161
00:08:50,576 --> 00:08:53,535
you'll over undershoot.
That's what mistakes are,
162
00:08:54,125 --> 00:08:55,845
it's based on the law of contrast.
163
00:08:56,645 --> 00:08:58,645
So anytime we compare
ourselves to other people,
164
00:08:58,825 --> 00:09:03,125
we automatically increase the probability
of labeling us or them mistaken.
165
00:09:03,985 --> 00:09:08,445
And this creates all kind of gyrations
and emotions and all kind of punishments
166
00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:12,285
and false attribution biases and
false causalities and projections
167
00:09:13,265 --> 00:09:14,165
and injections,
168
00:09:14,825 --> 00:09:19,205
and stop us from happening to be inspired
by our life and seeing the higher
169
00:09:19,215 --> 00:09:21,804
order and the so-called
perfection that's in our lives.
170
00:09:22,505 --> 00:09:26,325
We basically go around
and thinking there's a big
mistake. We keep screwing up.
171
00:09:26,625 --> 00:09:30,845
We keep sabotaging, as I've said,
but actually it's just a comparison.
172
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:34,725
And that's why it's not wise to
compare yourself to other people.
173
00:09:34,795 --> 00:09:37,645
It's wise to compare your daily
actions to what you value most.
174
00:09:38,225 --> 00:09:41,645
If you compare your daily actions and
prioritize your actions and stick to
175
00:09:41,646 --> 00:09:45,765
highest priorities, you will feel most
fulfilled, the least amount of mistakes.
176
00:09:46,225 --> 00:09:50,525
And if you understand what other people's
highest values are and make sure that
177
00:09:50,605 --> 00:09:53,804
they can see how what you're
asking them to do matches that,
178
00:09:54,315 --> 00:09:56,965
they won't make mistakes. You
won't label them making mistakes.
179
00:09:57,195 --> 00:10:00,565
They'll be doing what they're inspired
to do. They're making perceptions,
180
00:10:00,804 --> 00:10:05,325
decisions, and actions accordingly. So
the idea that, do I really make mistakes,
181
00:10:06,665 --> 00:10:07,765
is an interesting question.
182
00:10:08,335 --> 00:10:12,885
Maybe they're only mistakes based on the
comparison and based on the projection
183
00:10:12,886 --> 00:10:15,405
of somebody else's values or
our values onto somebody else,
184
00:10:16,184 --> 00:10:19,765
and therefore we actually have a higher
order of what's going on in life.
185
00:10:20,325 --> 00:10:22,885
A lot of times we think, I have
people in the Breakthrough Experience,
186
00:10:22,886 --> 00:10:26,525
my signature program, people coming
almost every week asking, you know,
187
00:10:26,925 --> 00:10:29,325
I really screwed up here. I
really feel guilty about this.
188
00:10:29,485 --> 00:10:32,565
I really feel that I messed
up here, made a big mistake.
189
00:10:33,125 --> 00:10:35,485
I should have done this. I'm
supposed to have done this.
190
00:10:36,145 --> 00:10:39,645
And I go in there and I do what I call
the Demartini Method and have them go in
191
00:10:39,646 --> 00:10:43,125
there and find out what they did and how
it served the people and how it served
192
00:10:43,126 --> 00:10:45,765
them, and balance out the equation.
193
00:10:46,345 --> 00:10:49,765
And then they discover that in their
values, they didn't make a mistake,
194
00:10:50,425 --> 00:10:54,365
but the other individual had
an expectation and projected
their values onto them
195
00:10:54,366 --> 00:10:57,485
and labeled them that way. And then
they were looking up to this individual,
196
00:10:57,554 --> 00:10:58,645
injecting those values,
197
00:10:58,705 --> 00:11:01,005
and then labeling themselves
mistaken and feeling ashamed.
198
00:11:01,945 --> 00:11:05,285
And this is because we just don't take
the time to balance out the equation,
199
00:11:05,785 --> 00:11:08,684
and we don't realize that we're living
in our values and they're living in
200
00:11:08,685 --> 00:11:09,465
theirs.
201
00:11:09,465 --> 00:11:13,565
So if we minimize ourself to somebody
and they project their values onto us,
202
00:11:13,585 --> 00:11:17,565
or we inject it onto us,
then we automatically think
we're making a mistake.
203
00:11:17,985 --> 00:11:20,845
And if we do the same and look down on
them and project our values on them,
204
00:11:20,846 --> 00:11:22,325
we're going to think
they're making a mistake.
205
00:11:23,065 --> 00:11:26,405
But maybe they're not in their values
and maybe we're not in our values.
206
00:11:27,054 --> 00:11:28,965
Maybe we just haven't looked deep enough.
207
00:11:29,295 --> 00:11:31,325
Maybe there's a hidden
order in the apparent chaos.
208
00:11:31,985 --> 00:11:33,684
That's why in the Breakthrough Experience,
209
00:11:33,685 --> 00:11:35,925
when I have people coming in
there with pride or shame,
210
00:11:36,445 --> 00:11:40,165
I go in and I neutralize them out until
they love themselves. When you're proud,
211
00:11:40,166 --> 00:11:42,965
you're inauthentic. When you're
ashamed, you're inauthentic,
212
00:11:43,065 --> 00:11:47,125
you're exaggerating and minimizing
a persona, covering up the real you.
213
00:11:47,785 --> 00:11:52,125
And when you put people on pedestals or
people in pits and inject the values or
214
00:11:52,126 --> 00:11:56,725
projective values, you automatically
have in errored, you might say,
215
00:11:57,965 --> 00:12:00,804
lopsided perceptions and you have
a distortion of who they are.
216
00:12:01,345 --> 00:12:04,365
And this guarantees that you're
going to project labels onto them,
217
00:12:04,825 --> 00:12:05,965
and you're going to, you know,
218
00:12:05,966 --> 00:12:09,045
look down on them as a villain or look
up to them as a hero or look down on
219
00:12:09,285 --> 00:12:13,725
yourself or up at yourself. And either
of these are not the authentic you,
220
00:12:13,865 --> 00:12:15,365
and you want to be loved for who you are,
221
00:12:15,366 --> 00:12:19,165
and you want them to be loved for who
they are. So balance out the equation,
222
00:12:19,304 --> 00:12:21,645
and you dissolve the
illusions of mistakes.
223
00:12:21,985 --> 00:12:24,485
You dissolve the illusions
of their imperfections,
224
00:12:25,065 --> 00:12:26,525
and you start to appreciate your life.
225
00:12:27,184 --> 00:12:29,245
In the Breakthrough Experience
I teach people how to do that,
226
00:12:29,265 --> 00:12:31,485
and it's really amazing. They go in,
227
00:12:31,486 --> 00:12:34,725
they come into the Breakthrough Experience
with these judgments on themselves or
228
00:12:34,726 --> 00:12:37,925
others, and then when they go through
the Demartini Method, it's dissolved,
229
00:12:37,926 --> 00:12:40,165
and then they realize that there
was a hidden order in the chaos,
230
00:12:40,665 --> 00:12:43,445
and they didn't know how to ask the
right questions to balance it out.
231
00:12:43,745 --> 00:12:45,804
And then they realize there's
nothing to fix <laugh>.
232
00:12:46,425 --> 00:12:49,765
And when there's nothing to fix
their will, the way they wanted it,
233
00:12:49,865 --> 00:12:52,565
now matches the way it is
and now they're grateful.
234
00:12:54,255 --> 00:12:57,054
Whenever you project your values on them
and expect them to live in your values
235
00:12:57,315 --> 00:12:59,975
or inject their values into you
and expect to live in their values,
236
00:13:00,155 --> 00:13:03,054
you're going to have this perception
that you thought you made mistakes.
237
00:13:03,315 --> 00:13:07,015
And you're going to see the
imperfections of nature of life.
238
00:13:07,675 --> 00:13:11,375
But the second you ask the right
questions and balance out the equation and
239
00:13:11,376 --> 00:13:14,415
understand people live in their
values and you live in yours,
240
00:13:15,615 --> 00:13:18,335
a whole lot of difference comes
along. You'll have more gratitude,
241
00:13:18,365 --> 00:13:21,975
more appreciation for life, more
love for yourself and other people.
242
00:13:22,355 --> 00:13:25,415
You'll be more inspired, you'll
be more enthused about life.
243
00:13:25,675 --> 00:13:27,975
You'll be more certain
and present about life.
244
00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:32,255
And those are very powerful transcendental
states that allow us to live a more
245
00:13:32,256 --> 00:13:33,089
fulfilled life.
246
00:13:33,595 --> 00:13:38,255
So are we really having mistakes or are
we basically projecting our values onto
247
00:13:38,256 --> 00:13:42,895
others or injecting their values into us
and trying to get others to live in our
248
00:13:42,896 --> 00:13:46,335
values or us into their values?
This is an interesting question.
249
00:13:46,715 --> 00:13:51,095
So stop and reflect and make sure whenever
you hear yourself saying, I should,
250
00:13:51,295 --> 00:13:55,775
I ought to, I'm supposed to, I got
to, I have to, I must, I need to,
251
00:13:56,715 --> 00:13:59,695
you're guaranteed that those are injected
values by some outer authority that
252
00:13:59,696 --> 00:14:03,255
you're trying to live in, and you're
guaranteed to be thinking, oh,
253
00:14:03,275 --> 00:14:06,975
I'm not living up to that expectation.
And anytime you say you should,
254
00:14:07,035 --> 00:14:09,815
you ought to, you got to, you
have to, you must, you need to,
255
00:14:09,816 --> 00:14:14,175
you got the same thing projected.
Listen to your imperative language,
256
00:14:14,895 --> 00:14:17,455
got to, have to, must, should,
ought to, supposed to, need to.
257
00:14:17,635 --> 00:14:22,495
All of those are signs of projections
and injections and guarantees to create
258
00:14:22,515 --> 00:14:26,775
the thoughts that there's mistakes going
on. And these lead to prides or shames,
259
00:14:27,155 --> 00:14:30,735
and you start to think, well, there's
something wrong with me, when in fact,
260
00:14:30,736 --> 00:14:31,569
there isn't.
261
00:14:31,835 --> 00:14:35,175
The magnificence of who you are is far
greater than all those things you impose
262
00:14:35,195 --> 00:14:38,495
on yourself. So give yourself
permission to shine, not shrink.
263
00:14:38,645 --> 00:14:41,055
Give yourself permission to
be authentic, not inauthentic,
264
00:14:41,395 --> 00:14:44,895
and give yourself permission
to live according to your
own values and articulate
265
00:14:44,896 --> 00:14:46,855
your values in terms
of other people values.
266
00:14:47,315 --> 00:14:51,645
And hire people that are inspired to
do what you want done so you have less
267
00:14:51,785 --> 00:14:55,005
labels on them and more
appreciation for their contribution.
268
00:14:55,005 --> 00:14:57,125
And it frees you up to
do the same in your life,
269
00:14:57,305 --> 00:14:59,165
to live by priority
and be more productive.
270
00:14:59,985 --> 00:15:04,405
So just wanted to take a few moments
to share how important it is to not buy
271
00:15:04,435 --> 00:15:07,045
into the idea that there's
mistakes. Look beyond that.
272
00:15:07,155 --> 00:15:11,125
Find the hidden order in the apparent
chaos and realize it's value driven.
273
00:15:11,875 --> 00:15:15,285
That if you try to live in other
people's values, you'll have futility.
274
00:15:15,286 --> 00:15:17,965
If you try to get others to live in
your values, you'll have futility.
275
00:15:18,265 --> 00:15:20,965
But if you communicate your values
in terms of other people's values,
276
00:15:20,985 --> 00:15:24,325
you have utility. And that's where
you have sustainable fair exchange,
277
00:15:24,705 --> 00:15:29,485
and you don't feel like you're making
mistakes and sabotaging and self
278
00:15:29,486 --> 00:15:33,285
depreciating or depreciating other
people and thinking they do the same.
279
00:15:34,065 --> 00:15:36,525
So just wanted to take that
few moments to talk about that.
280
00:15:36,905 --> 00:15:38,685
And just know that the
Breakthrough Experience,
281
00:15:38,725 --> 00:15:42,325
particularly in the section where I show
people how to determine their values
282
00:15:42,326 --> 00:15:46,165
and how to live congruently according to
it so they have less self depreciation,
283
00:15:47,065 --> 00:15:48,525
and doing the Demartini Method,
284
00:15:48,535 --> 00:15:51,645
dissolving all the emotional baggage
that you thought you've made mistakes in
285
00:15:51,646 --> 00:15:54,965
your life, which is keeping you from
being grateful and empowered in life.
286
00:15:55,685 --> 00:15:59,525
I can show you how to dissolve that and
you'll do it so you learn it and you'll
287
00:15:59,526 --> 00:16:00,359
have that for life.
288
00:16:00,625 --> 00:16:04,205
So come and join me at the Breakthrough
Experience so I can transform that
289
00:16:04,206 --> 00:16:07,805
perception that you thought was a
mistake in your life or others' lives,
290
00:16:08,305 --> 00:16:11,365
and allow you to see the magnificent
order that may be there after all.
291
00:16:11,985 --> 00:16:14,805
So until next week, I'll see you then,
292
00:16:14,905 --> 00:16:16,005
or I'll see you at the
Breakthrough Experience.