1 00:00:01,170 --> 00:00:03,780 Janice Porter: Hi, everyone, and welcome to this episode of 2 00:00:03,810 --> 00:00:07,650 relationships rule. This is another one of those occasions 3 00:00:07,650 --> 00:00:11,760 that is really special because when I first started out with my 4 00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:16,560 podcast early on, I, I probably didn't know what I was doing. 5 00:00:16,560 --> 00:00:20,400 But anyway, I got started. And I just jumped in and I did my 6 00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:24,120 podcast. And I know that things have improved as I've gone 7 00:00:24,120 --> 00:00:27,270 along. And so one of the things that's really fun is to be able 8 00:00:27,270 --> 00:00:30,930 to bring someone back to my podcast for a second interview, 9 00:00:30,930 --> 00:00:35,850 who was in that first batch of, of interviews that I did. And so 10 00:00:35,850 --> 00:00:39,690 today, I have a special guest one of those people, Allah bar 11 00:00:39,690 --> 00:00:42,420 dog, first of all, welcome to the show, Allah. 12 00:00:43,350 --> 00:00:44,880 Alla Bardov: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much for 13 00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:47,910 having me. It's a pleasure and an honor to be on your podcast. 14 00:00:47,910 --> 00:00:48,450 Yes, 15 00:00:48,479 --> 00:00:51,749 Janice Porter: it's my pleasure. And what's so special is I went 16 00:00:51,749 --> 00:00:54,929 back and looked at the first time you were on the show, which 17 00:00:54,929 --> 00:00:58,649 was actually over three years ago, I can't believe it, it was 18 00:00:58,649 --> 00:01:02,789 over three years ago. And we had just met not long before that, 19 00:01:03,479 --> 00:01:09,629 at an event in Salt Lake City, actually. And you were in the 20 00:01:09,629 --> 00:01:17,219 midst of your sales career. And a really going strong with your 21 00:01:17,399 --> 00:01:20,879 sale, selling for success. I think it's called selling for 22 00:01:20,879 --> 00:01:24,299 success. Sell yourself for success. I knew I had it wrong, 23 00:01:24,329 --> 00:01:27,209 sell yourself for success, and all the programs that go with 24 00:01:27,209 --> 00:01:30,029 it. And I know that you're still doing that. But I thought that 25 00:01:30,029 --> 00:01:32,969 this was a special occasion because she's written a book. 26 00:01:33,179 --> 00:01:36,749 And the book is called Get out of the rabbit hole, building 27 00:01:36,749 --> 00:01:39,989 confidence to overcome self doubt, improve performance and 28 00:01:39,989 --> 00:01:46,739 reach your potential. And for me, that seemed like a perfect 29 00:01:46,769 --> 00:01:50,189 time for you to come on the show, because you stepped it up 30 00:01:50,189 --> 00:01:55,559 now to the next level as well, with your book and everything 31 00:01:55,559 --> 00:01:58,319 that goes along with it. So congratulations, first of all. 32 00:01:58,919 --> 00:02:01,619 Thank you, James. You're welcome. And second, now I want 33 00:02:01,619 --> 00:02:05,429 to talk about it. So I want to know, first of all, how you got 34 00:02:05,429 --> 00:02:08,129 the title for the book, because I love the title get out of the 35 00:02:08,129 --> 00:02:12,119 rabbit hole. And I'm always that hole. So I get it, but I want 36 00:02:12,119 --> 00:02:14,189 you to come tell me about it. Oh, 37 00:02:14,340 --> 00:02:16,710 Alla Bardov: well didn't expect you to that would be the first 38 00:02:16,710 --> 00:02:17,940 thing Oh, really? Okay, 39 00:02:17,940 --> 00:02:19,050 Janice Porter: well, you never know. Right? 40 00:02:19,650 --> 00:02:23,730 Alla Bardov: I am happy to talk about the title. Um, so there 41 00:02:23,730 --> 00:02:27,390 are 12 chapters in the book. And they're all a really independent 42 00:02:27,390 --> 00:02:30,480 chapter. But the main chapter, which is chapter six, six, 43 00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:33,480 that's in the middle of the book, it actually describes a 44 00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:37,890 relationship I had once with a close and trusted friend. And 45 00:02:37,890 --> 00:02:42,810 for the book purposes, we named her Carol. And so Carol's words 46 00:02:42,840 --> 00:02:46,920 that I replayed daily, in my mind caused me to doubt myself, 47 00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:50,790 and actually sent my thoughts down the rabbit hole. So the 48 00:02:50,790 --> 00:02:53,790 name of the book is get out of the rabbit hole, building 49 00:02:53,790 --> 00:02:56,820 confidence to overcome self doubt, improve performance and 50 00:02:56,820 --> 00:03:00,630 reach your potential. And often we don't even realize how the 51 00:03:00,630 --> 00:03:04,560 words of those that we trust affect our actions. And they 52 00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:07,980 really, ultimately affect the goals that we set out to 53 00:03:07,980 --> 00:03:11,520 achieve. And so we all have people like that in our lives. 54 00:03:11,820 --> 00:03:15,240 And you know, for every negative experience, we can turn it 55 00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:18,810 around and make it into a positive experience. It does 56 00:03:18,810 --> 00:03:23,370 take time and effort. But for me, the positive was that made 57 00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:27,420 me realize that I shouldn't let negative people take my thoughts 58 00:03:27,420 --> 00:03:31,680 down the rabbit hole. And I had to figure out how to get out, 59 00:03:32,100 --> 00:03:34,470 which took a long time. And that's another reason I wrote 60 00:03:34,470 --> 00:03:37,740 the book. I wanted to help other people not to go down the same 61 00:03:37,740 --> 00:03:42,870 path. And I provided the tools necessary to take their thoughts 62 00:03:42,870 --> 00:03:46,410 redirect them so that they don't go down the rabbit hole. 63 00:03:46,590 --> 00:03:50,700 Janice Porter: Oh, yeah. And it does take a lot of effort to. 64 00:03:51,900 --> 00:03:58,110 Again, I often come back to this phrase that one of my mentors 65 00:03:58,170 --> 00:04:02,790 whom you know, Cody Bateman, always the story in your mind 66 00:04:02,790 --> 00:04:05,610 becomes the story of your life. So you've got to change the 67 00:04:05,610 --> 00:04:08,880 story in your mind, right? And in this this exactly what you're 68 00:04:08,880 --> 00:04:12,450 talking about changing it from the negative influence to a 69 00:04:12,450 --> 00:04:15,930 positive influence. And it's just a switch, but it isn't just 70 00:04:15,930 --> 00:04:17,070 a switch, right? It takes 71 00:04:18,389 --> 00:04:21,179 Alla Bardov: it takes a really long time. It takes a really 72 00:04:21,179 --> 00:04:23,699 long time. And you know, the interesting thing that Carol's 73 00:04:23,699 --> 00:04:26,969 you know, there's Carol in the book, but Carol's and the lives 74 00:04:26,969 --> 00:04:31,529 don't always show up in our 40s or 50s. You know, we could we 75 00:04:31,529 --> 00:04:35,009 could be carrying something that maybe a parent said or a coach, 76 00:04:35,249 --> 00:04:40,679 or maybe you know, a teacher and they they might not have even 77 00:04:40,679 --> 00:04:43,529 meant it they could have said it out of anger. And maybe they 78 00:04:43,529 --> 00:04:45,779 said you know you're not good enough. You'll never make 79 00:04:45,779 --> 00:04:49,799 anything out of yourself. And you carry these words in your 80 00:04:49,799 --> 00:04:54,149 mind and they really anytime you encounter a challenge these 81 00:04:54,149 --> 00:04:57,329 words ring and they set you back and if we don't have the 82 00:04:57,329 --> 00:05:00,869 strategies, how to deal with them. It's Very difficult to 83 00:05:00,869 --> 00:05:02,909 succeed. And like I said, you don't have to be in your 84 00:05:02,909 --> 00:05:06,569 40s 50s. I mean, you could be, you know, when you were 18. 85 00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:08,790 Janice Porter: Yeah, exactly. And it's just something that 86 00:05:08,790 --> 00:05:14,670 stayed with you a long time. So I love the way you have laid the 87 00:05:14,670 --> 00:05:19,590 book out. And in each chapter, you tell a story, a personal 88 00:05:19,590 --> 00:05:23,970 story, that then you give the audience, the reader the 89 00:05:23,970 --> 00:05:32,520 strategies for, for making these things work, like how you got 90 00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:36,360 out of it. And then so it ranges from, which I thought was really 91 00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:42,660 funny. And entertaining in the chapter about dress matters, 92 00:05:42,750 --> 00:05:49,440 which was chapter three, no, yes. Yeah. Chapter Three. Yes, 93 00:05:49,470 --> 00:05:54,150 yeah. Because I, this goes back a long time, right. And it's all 94 00:05:54,150 --> 00:05:58,530 about first impressions, right? And you can maybe share a little 95 00:05:58,530 --> 00:06:01,050 bit of it with us, because I think the strategies are great. 96 00:06:01,860 --> 00:06:04,590 Alla Bardov: Thank you. And I'm just gonna take it for a second. 97 00:06:04,590 --> 00:06:09,420 And as you said, every chapter has a personal story. And in 98 00:06:09,450 --> 00:06:13,290 each through each, through each story, you know, people can 99 00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:17,070 relate. And people can say, hey, they can transpose themselves 100 00:06:17,430 --> 00:06:21,150 into themselves into my story. And they said, I've been there, 101 00:06:21,330 --> 00:06:27,330 I understand. And strategies fade, but stories stay. So they 102 00:06:27,330 --> 00:06:30,540 might forget the strategies. But if they remember the stories, 103 00:06:30,540 --> 00:06:33,840 don't remember the strategies. But the big thing, we always 104 00:06:33,840 --> 00:06:37,350 hear so much about dressing up, you know, dress for success, you 105 00:06:37,350 --> 00:06:42,090 hear so much about it? And yes, it is very important. You know, 106 00:06:42,090 --> 00:06:45,090 because whatever you wear, it's it's going to make a first 107 00:06:45,090 --> 00:06:48,120 impression or not, then you only have seconds to make the first 108 00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:51,030 impression. And that's what really people think about, you 109 00:06:51,030 --> 00:06:53,580 know, I need to look good, because I want to make a first 110 00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:56,610 impression, I'm going to this event, but it's not just what 111 00:06:56,610 --> 00:07:00,690 your clothes say about you to other people. It's also what 112 00:07:00,690 --> 00:07:05,010 your clothes say to you. So I always tell people, you know, 113 00:07:05,010 --> 00:07:11,160 you take it's like a, like a gas gauge, and put on and see how 114 00:07:11,160 --> 00:07:14,490 you feel. Don't even worry yet about what IT projects to other 115 00:07:14,490 --> 00:07:18,720 people. But how do you feel. So you might put something on and 116 00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:21,900 you know, it has a high tag price, and maybe it's a brand 117 00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:25,470 name, and you know, that looks good, but if you don't feel 118 00:07:25,470 --> 00:07:28,320 comfortable in it, or if you're going to be demonstrating 119 00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:30,720 something and you're going to raise your arms and your shorts 120 00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:35,580 gonna raise, raise up, you are not going to have that 121 00:07:35,580 --> 00:07:39,210 confidence. So the main point out of the chapter is it's not 122 00:07:39,210 --> 00:07:42,900 just what your clothes say about you, but it's what they say 123 00:07:43,050 --> 00:07:46,140 Janice Porter: to you. Right? Which is beautiful, because 124 00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:49,470 that's the first and foremost thing, right? Because if you 125 00:07:49,470 --> 00:07:53,730 don't have that, then you're not going to be confident. Another 126 00:07:53,730 --> 00:07:57,150 piece in the book that I loved. And actually what this reminded 127 00:07:57,150 --> 00:08:04,050 me of was my mother, and the chapter is complements chapter 128 00:08:04,050 --> 00:08:07,320 six, I think it is or no, not chapter chapter five, it's 129 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:14,400 chapter five. says it's a please accept my gift stories. And you 130 00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:16,890 have a quote, at the beginning, I get awkward when someone 131 00:08:16,890 --> 00:08:19,920 compliments me, they don't know what to say. They say you look 132 00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:26,220 pretty today. And when I say Happy Birthday birthday. Yeah, 133 00:08:26,250 --> 00:08:30,420 exactly. And they reminded me so much of my mother, because for 134 00:08:30,420 --> 00:08:37,500 so many years, my mother did not feel worthy. And you wish she'd 135 00:08:37,500 --> 00:08:41,700 always look 100% and loved clothes and love to you know, 136 00:08:42,030 --> 00:08:45,420 entertain people. And if you sent her a thank you note, she'd 137 00:08:45,420 --> 00:08:48,750 send one back thanking you for the thank you note like this is 138 00:08:48,780 --> 00:08:53,700 how she wanted to always it wasn't she was trying to do 139 00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:57,450 anything other than just be grateful of the other people. 140 00:08:57,630 --> 00:09:02,340 And you, you in the strategies. In this chapter, you talk about 141 00:09:02,430 --> 00:09:08,310 how being able to accept a compliment, helps build 142 00:09:08,310 --> 00:09:11,250 relationships, and I highlighted this because I want to just read 143 00:09:11,250 --> 00:09:14,190 it, when you accept compliments from those who don't know, or 144 00:09:14,190 --> 00:09:17,520 don't know, well, you have an opportunity to thank them and 145 00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:20,820 start a conversation. Accepting compliments creates the 146 00:09:20,820 --> 00:09:24,720 opportunity to develop relationships. And because I'm 147 00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:29,220 all about relationships, I that jumped out at me as well as it 148 00:09:29,220 --> 00:09:32,880 reminded me of my mother, that story that you told, I thought 149 00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:35,520 that this was a really good strategy for relationship 150 00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:38,070 building. So I just like to hear your your tests on what you want 151 00:09:38,070 --> 00:09:38,550 to share. 152 00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:43,170 Alla Bardov: So a lot of times when people get a compliment, 153 00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:45,780 and let's just transpose yourself, say we're in a 154 00:09:45,780 --> 00:09:49,200 business meeting, and you're hoping to get the business of 155 00:09:49,830 --> 00:09:53,130 this potential client and the client complements you on 156 00:09:53,130 --> 00:09:56,820 something and you say, Oh, this dress is so old. Oh, I bought 157 00:09:56,820 --> 00:09:59,100 this suit years ago because you're thinking you're 158 00:09:59,100 --> 00:10:03,780 downplaying You're being humble. But in turn, you are not. So the 159 00:10:03,780 --> 00:10:08,370 first there's, there's so many aspects to you not being able to 160 00:10:08,370 --> 00:10:12,060 accept the compliment. The first thing you're doing is, oh my 161 00:10:12,060 --> 00:10:16,110 gosh, I gave them a compliment. And they did not like the dress 162 00:10:16,110 --> 00:10:18,510 or whatever. Now you feel like I have to give them another 163 00:10:18,510 --> 00:10:22,710 compliment. So now you're scrambling What else can I tell? 164 00:10:22,710 --> 00:10:25,110 Say, if it's to Janice, what else can I tell to Janice? Oh, 165 00:10:25,110 --> 00:10:28,050 my gosh, you know, your hair looks great. And so you're 166 00:10:28,050 --> 00:10:30,630 scrambling to find another compliment. And then another 167 00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:35,370 thought is, if you're not worthy to accept the compliment, why 168 00:10:35,370 --> 00:10:38,610 should you be worthy to accept their business. And so if you 169 00:10:38,610 --> 00:10:42,420 just met someone, you're already starting a relationship on the 170 00:10:42,420 --> 00:10:47,250 wrong note. And on a negative note, because you just made the 171 00:10:47,250 --> 00:10:50,250 person who gave you a compliment, you really deflected 172 00:10:50,250 --> 00:10:53,340 that compliment, you kind of knocked it down and put the 173 00:10:53,340 --> 00:10:56,880 other person in a really awkward situation. Well, what do I say 174 00:10:56,880 --> 00:11:02,250 to make Janice feel better? And so but the interesting thing is, 175 00:11:02,250 --> 00:11:06,600 so how does that give you confidence, but knowing what to 176 00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:10,080 do, when somebody gives you a compliment, if you know that, 177 00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:13,950 you just need to accept it, not just that you need to accept it, 178 00:11:14,220 --> 00:11:18,570 you have confidence that already gave you a confidence booster if 179 00:11:18,570 --> 00:11:23,880 we just met. And I give Janice a compliment. And she said, Thank 180 00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:25,980 you, or thank you for your compliment. If you don't know 181 00:11:25,980 --> 00:11:29,790 what to say, or how to accept it, I give many ways. But if you 182 00:11:29,790 --> 00:11:32,880 just say thank you, it means a lot, or thank you for the 183 00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:36,930 compliment. That's literally all you need to say. And now you're 184 00:11:36,930 --> 00:11:40,710 just starting, you're starting this meeting on a positive note, 185 00:11:40,740 --> 00:11:44,250 it's open, it's welcoming, and the other person doesn't feel 186 00:11:44,250 --> 00:11:47,040 like they have to give you another compliment. And also, a 187 00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:50,550 lot of people feel like, once somebody gives you a compliment, 188 00:11:50,550 --> 00:11:53,880 you have to compliment them back. Don't do that, because 189 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:57,930 that does not come out authentic. Say Oh, I like your 190 00:11:57,930 --> 00:12:00,930 dress. And you said, Well, I like your dress as well. So you 191 00:12:00,930 --> 00:12:04,170 really don't want to do that. But I give these strategies, and 192 00:12:04,170 --> 00:12:10,500 they seem so simple. But But following them will help you 193 00:12:10,530 --> 00:12:15,030 build confidence and improve relationships, as you said. And 194 00:12:15,030 --> 00:12:18,540 the first relationship I think maybe we discussed it a few days 195 00:12:18,540 --> 00:12:22,170 ago, the first relationship that matters most is the relationship 196 00:12:22,170 --> 00:12:25,260 you have with yourself. And if you don't value that 197 00:12:25,260 --> 00:12:28,650 relationship with yourself, if you don't value yourself enough, 198 00:12:28,650 --> 00:12:30,270 then why should anyone else? 199 00:12:30,660 --> 00:12:35,430 Janice Porter: Exactly. So good. So I think it's an interesting 200 00:12:35,430 --> 00:12:42,900 question about confidence. Because I often ask people about 201 00:12:42,900 --> 00:12:47,100 curiosity, and is it learned? Or like, is it innate? Or is it 202 00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:50,280 learned? And you have a question that came up? That I think is 203 00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:54,150 worthy of talking about too, so Can Can somebody? Yes, I think I 204 00:12:54,150 --> 00:12:58,920 think they can become confident. I think that's, that's, that's 205 00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:03,180 evident in your book, if you follow the strategies to build 206 00:13:03,180 --> 00:13:06,750 confidence, I think it works. But are you born with it? Or is 207 00:13:06,750 --> 00:13:10,650 it learned? I think that's a different piece. And I'd like to 208 00:13:10,650 --> 00:13:13,470 hear your take on them. So we, 209 00:13:14,520 --> 00:13:17,250 Alla Bardov: you know, throughout our lives, we often 210 00:13:17,250 --> 00:13:21,750 hear people say, you need to be confident, or sometimes we think 211 00:13:21,750 --> 00:13:24,960 when I'm confident or a lot of times you hear parents say you 212 00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:28,800 need to be more confident. Yet no one ever says here's how you 213 00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:32,130 do it. That's another reason why I wrote this book. So the 214 00:13:32,130 --> 00:13:36,840 problem remains, how do you become confident? And the story 215 00:13:36,840 --> 00:13:41,940 if I took you back to Cuba back and you say, well, here I am, 216 00:13:41,970 --> 00:13:44,640 obviously, you can hear my accent. So if you're wondering, 217 00:13:45,060 --> 00:13:48,180 I immigrated to this country when I was 15 years old, I did 218 00:13:48,180 --> 00:13:52,020 not speak a word of English. So how does someone like myself 219 00:13:52,020 --> 00:13:56,250 talks about confidence. And so it was during my college days 220 00:13:56,250 --> 00:13:58,560 that I decided I was studying accounting, and I decided to go 221 00:13:58,560 --> 00:14:01,260 sell vacuum cleaners door to door. That sounds like a fun 222 00:14:01,260 --> 00:14:06,060 thing to do. And I was learning to speak English and and so I 223 00:14:06,060 --> 00:14:09,450 spent a lot of time shadowing other people learning all the 224 00:14:09,450 --> 00:14:12,720 sales skills, and I was so good at it. I can close any sales 225 00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:15,630 that can overcome any objections because I learned the skills 226 00:14:15,630 --> 00:14:18,900 that were tools for me to learn. But then I was missing one 227 00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:22,050 thing. I had a hard time getting through the front door. Once I 228 00:14:22,050 --> 00:14:26,370 was in the door, I had it. So I realized I was missing one 229 00:14:26,370 --> 00:14:29,100 component. And that's that confidence to get through that 230 00:14:29,100 --> 00:14:33,090 front door. And so what I realized is that while if you 231 00:14:33,090 --> 00:14:35,910 wanted to learn how to cook, oh there cookbooks if you wanted to 232 00:14:35,910 --> 00:14:39,120 learn how to drive, you can go take driving lessons, but there 233 00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:42,840 was no there were no instructions on manuals on how 234 00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:46,590 to become confident, and really trying to become confident 235 00:14:46,590 --> 00:14:49,530 without the tools needed was difficult. And that's when my 236 00:14:49,530 --> 00:14:54,180 quest began. On, hey, can you learn confidence? Is that a 237 00:14:54,180 --> 00:14:58,320 learned trait? And so it took me it's been a 30 year journey, 238 00:14:58,500 --> 00:15:02,490 trying to figure out So during that time, I have discovered 239 00:15:02,490 --> 00:15:07,350 that confidence can be learned, practiced and mastered, just 240 00:15:07,350 --> 00:15:11,610 like any other skill. Just like you exercise the muscle in your 241 00:15:11,610 --> 00:15:16,260 body, you can also exercise your mind to build confidence. You 242 00:15:16,260 --> 00:15:20,160 just need to know what to do. So you learn it, you practice it, 243 00:15:20,190 --> 00:15:24,240 and then you master it. Does it take time? Absolutely. And so in 244 00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:28,140 my book, I outlined 12, confidence building strategies. 245 00:15:28,410 --> 00:15:32,160 And it's not if you asked me one hour, if I do them, if I had 246 00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:35,670 read the book in one week, or in one day, and I go practice them, 247 00:15:35,670 --> 00:15:38,940 Am I going to become instantly confident? Of course not. So my 248 00:15:38,940 --> 00:15:43,170 best advice is, read a chapter and go practice it for a week, 249 00:15:43,260 --> 00:15:46,650 read another chapter, add to it, and go practice it. And over 250 00:15:46,650 --> 00:15:52,470 time, when you can, when you can perform these strategies without 251 00:15:52,470 --> 00:15:56,880 even thinking, you will absolutely gain confidence, you 252 00:15:56,880 --> 00:16:00,180 will absolutely people will notice, you will become more 253 00:16:00,180 --> 00:16:03,840 confident you will become a better a better person, overall, 254 00:16:03,870 --> 00:16:06,690 a better parent, a better spouse, a better significant 255 00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:09,690 other, so you will become a better person. So yes, you can 256 00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:13,290 absolutely learn and become confident. 257 00:16:14,280 --> 00:16:17,280 Janice Porter: I think that there are people however, that I 258 00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:21,180 think of when I was a kid, even that I can remember, you know, 259 00:16:21,180 --> 00:16:26,460 people who just oozed confidence as kids or teenagers, whatever. 260 00:16:26,550 --> 00:16:32,160 And they were the ones that were quite often the maybe they were 261 00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:35,580 the valedictorian in school, or maybe they were the leader of 262 00:16:35,580 --> 00:16:39,630 whatever was going on, because they they stood tall, they knew 263 00:16:39,630 --> 00:16:45,960 who they were, and they had that inner confidence. Do you think 264 00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:48,600 that there are those people? Have you come across those 265 00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:49,650 people in your world? 266 00:16:50,220 --> 00:16:52,890 Alla Bardov: And think there's also there's a fine line between 267 00:16:53,010 --> 00:16:55,710 confidence and arrogance, especially when it comes to 268 00:16:55,710 --> 00:17:00,300 salespeople? Yes. And then yes, I do think that maybe some 269 00:17:00,300 --> 00:17:03,300 people are born a little bit more inclined towards being 270 00:17:03,300 --> 00:17:08,850 confident or possibly their parents. So I think the parents 271 00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:13,290 or the people around them, they have observed things, and they 272 00:17:13,290 --> 00:17:17,430 have applied what they've learned versus some other kids 273 00:17:17,460 --> 00:17:21,750 that might not have. So modeling, yeah, as exactly as 274 00:17:21,750 --> 00:17:24,480 role models, you have to look at, you know, who are your role 275 00:17:24,480 --> 00:17:28,620 models? Who are the people around you? What are they? What 276 00:17:28,620 --> 00:17:32,250 are they exhibiting? Since you brought this up, I will mention 277 00:17:32,250 --> 00:17:35,790 I was doing training for this company. And we were doing 278 00:17:35,790 --> 00:17:38,550 strictly confidence, actually, we're doing sales training, but 279 00:17:38,550 --> 00:17:41,190 as part of it is always a confidence training. And so 280 00:17:41,190 --> 00:17:44,910 this, this gentleman would go home, and he would share what 281 00:17:44,910 --> 00:17:49,680 he's learned from me within I think, weekly or monthly. And he 282 00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:53,010 would share it with his family with his with his 15 year old 283 00:17:53,010 --> 00:17:57,240 daughter, actually, for quote is in my book, her endorsement from 284 00:17:57,240 --> 00:18:00,720 a 15 year old. And she was a professional, not professional, 285 00:18:00,720 --> 00:18:04,890 but she was playing sports. And so he would share it with her 286 00:18:04,890 --> 00:18:08,640 every time that we had training session. And he shared with me 287 00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:11,640 that one time the mom said something negative, and she 288 00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:14,970 said, Mom, we're not being negative, this is not gonna help 289 00:18:14,970 --> 00:18:18,630 us succeed in life. But this is what the kids are observing. So 290 00:18:18,630 --> 00:18:21,870 if you're observing, if your parents, which most of us most 291 00:18:21,870 --> 00:18:25,440 of people really, truly tend to lean on the negative side, we're 292 00:18:25,440 --> 00:18:29,670 kind of expect negative outcomes. And so that does 293 00:18:29,670 --> 00:18:33,900 affect those kids. So I do think that yes, absolutely. What 294 00:18:33,900 --> 00:18:37,590 you're saying that some of those kids, yes, it's part of staying 295 00:18:37,590 --> 00:18:43,650 tall your body language will affected? And if you want I can 296 00:18:43,860 --> 00:18:47,760 I have been asked, Are there habits that are destroying your 297 00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:51,060 confidence on daily basis? I have been asked that question, 298 00:18:51,300 --> 00:18:55,050 you know, a few times. And so possibly, it's something you do, 299 00:18:55,050 --> 00:18:59,160 or if you observe as a teen you observe or as a kid, your 300 00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:03,240 parents do it, then it's very difficult for you to be growing 301 00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:07,740 up as, as a confident, you know, teenager or adult. And those are 302 00:19:07,740 --> 00:19:10,950 negative self talk. Yeah. Because especially when we're 303 00:19:10,950 --> 00:19:14,550 faced in with challenging situation. So our tendency is to 304 00:19:14,550 --> 00:19:18,600 engage in negative self talk. And then also we expect negative 305 00:19:18,630 --> 00:19:23,490 outcomes as our mind. Our mind is just programmed, you know, 306 00:19:23,490 --> 00:19:27,030 that way we expect the negative and then of course, self doubt. 307 00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:31,380 And, you know, we discussed it and people experience self doubt 308 00:19:31,380 --> 00:19:35,280 for a variety of reasons, including, you know, their 309 00:19:35,310 --> 00:19:38,760 upbringing, somebody that somebody said, maybe they're 310 00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:43,050 extremely competitive, or maybe they're perfectionist, so So 311 00:19:43,050 --> 00:19:45,780 they're different things but yes, to answer your questions, I 312 00:19:45,780 --> 00:19:49,350 think some kids are okay based on their environment. 313 00:19:49,710 --> 00:19:51,990 Janice Porter: So it was something that came up yesterday 314 00:19:51,990 --> 00:19:54,840 you and I were working together yesterday on an on something 315 00:19:54,840 --> 00:20:03,900 completely different and and you You exhibited this amazing 316 00:20:04,410 --> 00:20:07,890 attribute of being able to visualize. And when you 317 00:20:07,890 --> 00:20:12,660 visualize something, I don't have that. I don't see pictures 318 00:20:12,660 --> 00:20:16,050 the same way. I don't think I've trained my brain that way 319 00:20:16,140 --> 00:20:20,370 enough. And I love it. I love that you are that this isn't one 320 00:20:20,370 --> 00:20:24,180 chapter in the book as well called visualize it. And you say 321 00:20:24,210 --> 00:20:27,390 the subtitle is my eyes made it happen story. And I love the 322 00:20:27,390 --> 00:20:30,840 story. And I love what happened. And I wondered if you'd share 323 00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:35,490 that story. Do you remember the story I'm referring to? I do? 324 00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:40,530 Alla Bardov: I do. It was, it was of course, of course. It was 325 00:20:40,830 --> 00:20:45,930 my corporate career. And at the time, we had three kids. We had 326 00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:50,700 the young, the young, the younger one was, had some health 327 00:20:50,700 --> 00:20:54,150 challenges, which caused me to retire from corporate life. And 328 00:20:54,150 --> 00:20:56,940 it was during that time that I decided to start this little 329 00:20:56,940 --> 00:21:01,710 side gig on the side. And it was a jewelry business and was a 330 00:21:01,710 --> 00:21:04,230 custom jewelry. And I thought, you know, it would be fun while 331 00:21:04,230 --> 00:21:07,740 I'm being a homeroom mom, and I'm doing this. And so I really 332 00:21:07,740 --> 00:21:14,220 wanted to get this jewelry into, into a, this fancy spot I'm in 333 00:21:14,220 --> 00:21:19,050 and one time I walked in, and I saw, I walked into the spa, and 334 00:21:19,050 --> 00:21:23,640 I saw all of this jewelry that they had a jewelry display. And 335 00:21:24,870 --> 00:21:28,080 I went and I asked, Are you looking for any vendors? And of 336 00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:31,080 course, the answer was no, that they you know, we have not 337 00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:35,340 added. And the first thing as I stood there, I mean, I was just 338 00:21:35,340 --> 00:21:38,310 in shock. And I'm sure the lady was thinking, oh my gosh, she's 339 00:21:38,310 --> 00:21:40,950 crazy. She just stood there, I'm not moving, I'm not saying 340 00:21:40,950 --> 00:21:44,700 anything. And all of a sudden, I did not see the candles, the 341 00:21:44,700 --> 00:21:49,290 body wraps or the the jewelry that was there. All I saw was my 342 00:21:49,290 --> 00:21:53,370 jewelry. I saw it on every shell, I saw it displayed. I saw 343 00:21:53,370 --> 00:21:58,050 it everywhere. And so that visualization drove me to create 344 00:21:58,050 --> 00:22:01,830 an action plan and to follow my steps. Instead of you know, the 345 00:22:01,830 --> 00:22:05,130 tendency when we expect negative outcome, you say, Oh, well, you 346 00:22:05,130 --> 00:22:07,680 know, it'll never happen. You know, I'm just beginning I only 347 00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:11,130 started a month ago, who would bring my jewelry in here, right? 348 00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:15,480 And yes, the visualization really, really helps you know, 349 00:22:15,480 --> 00:22:18,510 and it does not the visualization does not replace 350 00:22:18,540 --> 00:22:22,980 the work that needs to take place. But what happens 351 00:22:22,980 --> 00:22:27,060 visualization is that you go through the action twice for the 352 00:22:27,060 --> 00:22:30,990 action. So you go once in your mind, then you plan it really 353 00:22:30,990 --> 00:22:34,170 three times. And then when you meet, then you've already 354 00:22:34,170 --> 00:22:36,510 overcome you already overcame all their objections, you 355 00:22:36,510 --> 00:22:41,970 already came up with all the answers. So it's, it really it 356 00:22:41,970 --> 00:22:46,950 just helps to bring your aspirations to life. And if you 357 00:22:46,950 --> 00:22:51,180 look at the you know, the ancient monks, if you look at 358 00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:56,370 celebrities, if you really talk to athletes who've achieved, you 359 00:22:56,370 --> 00:23:00,030 know, the highest level, they will tell you it all starts with 360 00:23:00,060 --> 00:23:03,660 in your mind, it starts with visualizing yourself, achieving 361 00:23:03,660 --> 00:23:07,200 that goal. And so the strategies I give in the book for 362 00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:10,170 visualization, how do you achieve it? What do you have to 363 00:23:10,170 --> 00:23:12,900 go through? So thank you for picking on that chapter. I think 364 00:23:12,900 --> 00:23:15,540 it's very it is very important chapter is 365 00:23:15,540 --> 00:23:19,530 Janice Porter: that you have to finish the story. You have to 366 00:23:19,530 --> 00:23:20,370 finish the story. 367 00:23:21,450 --> 00:23:24,840 Alla Bardov: Oh, when it was realisation that with the jury, 368 00:23:24,990 --> 00:23:29,040 yes, what your delivery? They did, yes, they did, I did call 369 00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:35,190 and I did set up a meeting. And I was because of visualization 370 00:23:35,190 --> 00:23:38,310 that I was able to visualize where every piece would be on 371 00:23:38,310 --> 00:23:42,540 which shelf. So to down to the point where I told them while 372 00:23:42,540 --> 00:23:44,910 you have these body wraps that you really haven't sold a whole 373 00:23:44,910 --> 00:23:47,880 lot. But if I put my piece over here, it's going to bring the 374 00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:53,400 attention to it. But that all happened in my mind first, and 375 00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:57,720 then I brought it to the manager. And very after the 376 00:23:57,720 --> 00:24:01,560 meeting, it was we'll get back with you. And it was within it 377 00:24:01,560 --> 00:24:05,760 was so fast when they got back with me. And they said we would 378 00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:10,080 love to carry your jewelry. I know that. And so so yeah. So 379 00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:13,260 that was, you know, that was a very, very exciting moment for 380 00:24:13,260 --> 00:24:16,470 somebody who's just starting to do something and been at it for 381 00:24:16,470 --> 00:24:17,040 a month. 382 00:24:18,089 --> 00:24:21,359 Janice Porter: But that's not that also, though, comes back to 383 00:24:21,359 --> 00:24:25,859 the fact that number one, you're a great salesperson. And number 384 00:24:25,859 --> 00:24:30,329 two, you're an entrepreneur, and you know you had all of those 385 00:24:30,329 --> 00:24:33,719 things going for you but the visualization is what jumped out 386 00:24:33,719 --> 00:24:38,099 at me. That's why I let the story and you're right now there 387 00:24:38,099 --> 00:24:44,279 was just the NBA basketball draft was just last month and 388 00:24:44,519 --> 00:24:47,339 watching the new players coming out of school and I don't know 389 00:24:47,339 --> 00:24:49,829 if you're familiar because I know you're a basketball family 390 00:24:49,829 --> 00:24:53,669 like we are but maybe not in the same way. But we are watching 391 00:24:53,669 --> 00:24:58,169 the draft and there was a set of twins and they were drafted 392 00:24:58,169 --> 00:25:02,579 fourth and fifth out of everything. And that's number 393 00:25:02,579 --> 00:25:05,879 one, it was the first of its kind that they had twins 394 00:25:05,879 --> 00:25:10,379 drafted. But number two, they were, I read a story about them 395 00:25:10,379 --> 00:25:14,189 and magazine just last week. And both of them since they were 396 00:25:14,189 --> 00:25:18,179 like five years old, had been visualizing being in the NBA. 397 00:25:18,569 --> 00:25:21,449 And you're, like you said it previously, that it's with 398 00:25:22,139 --> 00:25:26,339 people that reach a high level like that, that is often the 399 00:25:26,339 --> 00:25:30,149 beginning, is having that vision and maintaining that vision 400 00:25:30,329 --> 00:25:33,329 throughout and believing it right. Because it's the belief 401 00:25:33,330 --> 00:25:35,370 Alla Bardov: eliminates because it's very, it's very difficult, 402 00:25:35,370 --> 00:25:38,220 because you know, you're gonna, you're gonna encounter daily ups 403 00:25:38,220 --> 00:25:41,580 and downs, you know, it's not always great, you know, you will 404 00:25:41,580 --> 00:25:45,120 be defeated by other teams, you have to break through the 405 00:25:45,120 --> 00:25:48,840 mental, you know, the mental barrier, because it's not 406 00:25:48,840 --> 00:25:53,940 always, you know, it's not always roses or whatever they 407 00:25:53,940 --> 00:25:58,560 say, you have to work hard. But the tendency is, oh, my gosh, 408 00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:02,220 there's these kids are better than than we are, will never 409 00:26:02,220 --> 00:26:05,520 make it to the NBA. But you cannot win with that kind of 410 00:26:05,550 --> 00:26:10,260 attitude. Because if you see yourself daily, if even if you 411 00:26:10,380 --> 00:26:13,380 have to cut out the pictures, I know, I forgot, I told you in 412 00:26:13,380 --> 00:26:16,200 one of the other picture, or in one of the other chapters that I 413 00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:19,320 was trying to help my roommate lose weight. And it's also the 414 00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:23,580 visualization. So was a college roommate. And so I took a 415 00:26:23,580 --> 00:26:26,430 picture of her favorite celebrity. And then I took a 416 00:26:26,430 --> 00:26:31,620 picture of her and I cut out her face and put it on everybody's 417 00:26:31,620 --> 00:26:35,010 face, that creates a visualization, hey, this is my, 418 00:26:35,130 --> 00:26:37,920 you know, my idol, I want to look like that. And when you and 419 00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:41,970 I hung it in our closet. And so every day when she would look at 420 00:26:41,970 --> 00:26:46,140 it, you know, it made her made healthier choices. So that's 421 00:26:46,140 --> 00:26:50,490 also visualization. And it can play a huge part in just about 422 00:26:50,490 --> 00:26:54,030 anything that we want to accomplish. Even writing, 423 00:26:54,060 --> 00:26:57,000 writing a book Never did my life did I think that I would write a 424 00:26:57,000 --> 00:26:59,190 book. But the first thing is, you know, your visual, you 425 00:26:59,190 --> 00:27:02,490 visualize, you visualize people reading it, you visualize the 426 00:27:02,490 --> 00:27:06,060 impact it's going to make on others. So very, it's very 427 00:27:06,060 --> 00:27:06,840 important. 428 00:27:07,409 --> 00:27:13,319 Janice Porter: That's, that's so great. And, and comes with this 429 00:27:13,319 --> 00:27:17,699 new venture that you're on. So you're from this book, you're 430 00:27:17,699 --> 00:27:21,629 still doing your sales, training, and all the different 431 00:27:21,629 --> 00:27:25,499 aspects of sales training. And now you're going on the road 432 00:27:25,499 --> 00:27:28,529 with your book right now you want to share this information 433 00:27:28,739 --> 00:27:33,149 by talking on stages and, and in groups of people that you can 434 00:27:33,149 --> 00:27:36,569 spread the word. Now I understand there's a workbook 435 00:27:36,599 --> 00:27:37,619 that goes with this 436 00:27:39,510 --> 00:27:43,140 Alla Bardov: workbook, and it's a GET OUT OF THE RABBIT HOLE 437 00:27:43,140 --> 00:27:46,800 workbook, developing your confidence building strategies. 438 00:27:47,250 --> 00:27:51,870 And that's really the only way the best way that you can put 439 00:27:51,870 --> 00:27:54,720 all the strategies to practice because then you can apply them 440 00:27:54,720 --> 00:27:58,380 to yourself. The nice thing about the book is, you know, you 441 00:27:58,380 --> 00:28:01,320 don't have to write on margins, I didn't have to leave you empty 442 00:28:01,320 --> 00:28:07,260 spaces. But the cool thing is, it has by chapter is structured 443 00:28:07,260 --> 00:28:11,730 by chapter and it gives you examples. And then you write 444 00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:16,440 out. You write out the situations based, you know, 445 00:28:16,440 --> 00:28:22,200 based on your situation, right. And a lot of chapters have a 446 00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:28,170 moment of truth. And this is where you actually write, you 447 00:28:28,170 --> 00:28:30,990 know, this is what I do right now. Because oftentimes your 448 00:28:30,990 --> 00:28:34,620 first thing instinct, oh, I don't do that. But if you are 449 00:28:34,860 --> 00:28:38,400 going to, if you are you going to really take this book and put 450 00:28:38,850 --> 00:28:43,980 and put it to use and really become confident. And so the 451 00:28:43,980 --> 00:28:48,270 moment of truth is something very important. And we were mean 452 00:28:48,270 --> 00:28:50,850 you were talking a lot earlier, we were talking on a podcast 453 00:28:50,850 --> 00:28:53,220 about the compliments. And so here's a moment of truth from 454 00:28:53,220 --> 00:28:56,730 the compliments chapter and it says, thinking about the past, 455 00:28:56,730 --> 00:28:59,910 prior to reading the book, write down your responses to when 456 00:28:59,910 --> 00:29:02,970 someone complimented you, if you can't recall, start by paying 457 00:29:02,970 --> 00:29:06,150 attention to how people around you respond to compliments, and 458 00:29:06,150 --> 00:29:10,170 write it down. So an example I got this shirt two years ago 459 00:29:10,170 --> 00:29:13,740 from a garage sale, it's most likely out of style now, but I 460 00:29:13,740 --> 00:29:17,550 want people to write down because unless they write down 461 00:29:17,550 --> 00:29:19,530 and they start catching themselves, you know, it's all 462 00:29:19,530 --> 00:29:24,000 about awareness, and replacing what they do to something to 463 00:29:24,120 --> 00:29:27,420 what they should be doing to become confident. So that's what 464 00:29:27,780 --> 00:29:30,870 the workbook is all about. And it's available on Amazon as 465 00:29:30,870 --> 00:29:31,260 well. 466 00:29:31,470 --> 00:29:33,630 Janice Porter: Okay, awesome. Yeah, I remember always saying 467 00:29:33,630 --> 00:29:36,840 to my mom when someone was if I was around her and somebody 468 00:29:36,840 --> 00:29:41,940 complimented her mom, just say thank you, just because it was 469 00:29:41,940 --> 00:29:47,340 hard for her to do that. Right. So I guess yeah, yes. So last 470 00:29:47,340 --> 00:29:52,260 thoughts, in terms of the strategies that people can do to 471 00:29:52,260 --> 00:29:56,400 become more to apply to become more confident? What would your 472 00:29:56,400 --> 00:30:00,840 top two or three be to share with my audience I'm pretty sure 473 00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:03,480 I know what they are, because we've talked about, go ahead. 474 00:30:04,049 --> 00:30:07,109 Alla Bardov: Yeah, so I really want to cover probably self 475 00:30:07,109 --> 00:30:11,159 doubt, because that's the, that's the main chapter and just 476 00:30:11,189 --> 00:30:14,669 some things to, to put into people's heads because we all 477 00:30:14,669 --> 00:30:17,969 have self doubts and self doubt does not discriminate against 478 00:30:17,969 --> 00:30:23,369 age, or your, or how successful a person is, when self doubt is 479 00:30:23,369 --> 00:30:28,499 a destructive state of mind. And so the first thing, so I'm gonna 480 00:30:28,499 --> 00:30:31,019 give people three things, actually five things that they 481 00:30:31,019 --> 00:30:33,959 need to do, and then they can go for more details into the book. 482 00:30:34,199 --> 00:30:38,339 So the first thing is questioned the validity of your doubt of 483 00:30:38,339 --> 00:30:43,769 your doubts is what should as I always say, doubt, your doubts, 484 00:30:44,039 --> 00:30:47,489 doubt your doubts. Is it really true what you're saying, you 485 00:30:47,489 --> 00:30:50,819 know, and maybe you need training or some skills, then 486 00:30:50,849 --> 00:30:55,349 great, then go and get them get that out of your mind. But what 487 00:30:55,349 --> 00:31:00,929 I also say is voice voice, which you're thinking to yourself to a 488 00:31:00,929 --> 00:31:04,409 group of people that you that love you and your trusted 489 00:31:04,409 --> 00:31:09,689 circle, voice it to your significant others voices to 490 00:31:09,719 --> 00:31:13,259 maybe your grown up, kids voice it to your best friend, who has 491 00:31:13,259 --> 00:31:16,619 your best interests in mind, and say, This is what I'm saying to 492 00:31:16,619 --> 00:31:20,699 myself? Is it true? Chances are, it's not they wouldn't agree 493 00:31:20,699 --> 00:31:23,189 with you. And probably you should not agree with yourself 494 00:31:23,219 --> 00:31:27,209 either. And, you know, and then you possibly could be also 495 00:31:27,209 --> 00:31:32,099 hearing the voices of someone else what someone said, to make 496 00:31:32,099 --> 00:31:34,379 you feel that way. So that's number one. question the 497 00:31:34,379 --> 00:31:39,089 validity of your doubts. Number two, become consciously aware of 498 00:31:39,089 --> 00:31:41,819 when you're talking to yourself, you know, what are you saying 499 00:31:41,819 --> 00:31:44,669 maybe I'm not good enough? Maybe I'm not the person they're 500 00:31:44,669 --> 00:31:48,569 looking for? Nobody's gonna read my book. I mean, is that true? 501 00:31:48,569 --> 00:31:51,389 No, it's absolutely not true. But these are the things that 502 00:31:51,389 --> 00:31:53,819 you go through as you're going through the process. So 503 00:31:54,029 --> 00:31:57,899 consciously become aware. And then this is my favorite part, 504 00:31:57,959 --> 00:32:02,159 and acknowledge and name your doubting thoughts. So anytime 505 00:32:02,369 --> 00:32:07,499 you hear a doubting thought that that comes, name it. So for me 506 00:32:07,499 --> 00:32:11,729 it was go away, rabbits go away anytime. And to this day, any 507 00:32:11,759 --> 00:32:14,939 you know, because we're not no one's immune, no one is immune 508 00:32:14,969 --> 00:32:18,689 against self doubt. But if you have the strategies, and you 509 00:32:18,689 --> 00:32:22,499 know what to do, so you name anytime I have a self doubting 510 00:32:22,499 --> 00:32:25,709 thoughts, and especially in the chapter when I explain it, name 511 00:32:25,709 --> 00:32:28,919 it. So go away, rabbit go away. And then what you want to do is 512 00:32:28,919 --> 00:32:32,399 shift your attention to now. And you know, now is the only really 513 00:32:32,399 --> 00:32:34,619 moment that we can control whether it's through your 514 00:32:34,619 --> 00:32:38,399 breathing through your music, you know, whatever, however, it 515 00:32:38,399 --> 00:32:48,149 is that you that you can come to now. And then, and then replace 516 00:32:48,149 --> 00:32:50,279 them with something positive. You know, I have a separate 517 00:32:50,279 --> 00:32:53,249 chapter on I am statements. So if you're saying I am not good 518 00:32:53,249 --> 00:33:00,089 enough, who will read my book, I am a great author. I am, I will 519 00:33:00,119 --> 00:33:04,589 be helping so many people build confidence. So those are just a 520 00:33:04,589 --> 00:33:09,629 few. A few strategies really on self doubt, because it affects 521 00:33:09,659 --> 00:33:10,529 so many of 522 00:33:10,530 --> 00:33:12,990 Janice Porter: us. Yeah. And all starts with ourselves, doesn't 523 00:33:12,990 --> 00:33:13,500 it? It 524 00:33:13,500 --> 00:33:14,970 Alla Bardov: does. It absolutely does. 525 00:33:15,329 --> 00:33:18,509 Janice Porter: So thank you so much for all of that. All the 526 00:33:18,509 --> 00:33:24,089 strategies, sharing your stories with us, and where can i Where 527 00:33:24,089 --> 00:33:26,429 Can my audience find you? And I will put 528 00:33:28,410 --> 00:33:31,350 Alla Bardov: they can find me on my website is sell yourself for 529 00:33:31,350 --> 00:33:36,990 success.com? Yes. And the book, the book is on get out of the 530 00:33:36,990 --> 00:33:41,610 rabbit hole.com And it can be the book can be purchased on 531 00:33:41,640 --> 00:33:43,980 Amazon as well as Barnes and Nobles. 532 00:33:44,130 --> 00:33:46,350 Janice Porter: Perfect. I will put all that in the show notes. 533 00:33:46,380 --> 00:33:50,160 And I do recommend that anybody who's an entrepreneur in 534 00:33:50,160 --> 00:33:54,510 business should read this book because it definitely brings all 535 00:33:54,510 --> 00:33:57,990 of these things to the forefront that we can help that will help 536 00:33:57,990 --> 00:34:01,920 make us a better person conference. Yes, thank you and 537 00:34:01,920 --> 00:34:04,710 thanks for being here. Thank you to my audience. If you liked 538 00:34:04,710 --> 00:34:09,330 what you heard, please subscribe and leave a an honest review. 539 00:34:09,450 --> 00:34:14,220 Thank you again, and stay connected. Remember Thank you