The problem with the ADHD, your amygdala is alive,
Speaker:but the executive center is shut down. It's not myelinated,
Speaker:and so you got a running wild animal around the house,
Speaker:but once you get them engaged in something inspiring,
Speaker:the amygdala calms down and you start having less impulse and instinct.
Speaker:Today's topic is on attention deficit
Speaker:hyperactivity "disorder".
Speaker:Cause I'm going to put that in quotation marks because it may not be a disorder
Speaker:in my perspective, it may have a slightly different view of it.
Speaker:Now this is defined that way primarily because that the individual,
Speaker:usually children and very commonly boys,
Speaker:have a wandering, distracted,
Speaker:inattentiveness to things that teachers or parents are
Speaker:wanting them to do.
Speaker:They are running around highly hyperactive and distracted.
Speaker:They are also restless and hyperactive in the sense sometimes I've seen these
Speaker:children, particularly boys, running back and forth,
Speaker:just literally running across the room and running around in circles and doing
Speaker:repetitive actions.
Speaker:And we may have all had little bits and pieces of this type of behavior.
Speaker:And the last one is an immediate gratifying impulsivity.
Speaker:So you have a very quick, short span of attention and you want a quick answer,
Speaker:a quick response, a quick gratification, and you're impulsive.
Speaker:Now that's a triad. Again, wandering,
Speaker:distracted in intention,
Speaker:restless hyperactivity and immediate gratifying impulsivity.
Speaker:That's the description of this "condition".
Speaker:I put that in "parentheses" because I'm not convinced that it's a
Speaker:condition, even though that's what the medical model typically has.
Speaker:I'm more convinced that it's a feedback to the child,
Speaker:and to the family of what's really important to the child.
Speaker:Because the child that has this and sometimes young
Speaker:I know people in their fifties and sixties that have moderate degrees of this
Speaker:behavior.
Speaker:You can take that same child and they can find something that they're highly
Speaker:engaged in and attentive to, and they can stay focused for hours.
Speaker:Maybe it's their video games. Maybe it's online with social,
Speaker:or maybe it's a particular topic or a sport or something.
Speaker:When they're engaged in that a lot of these symptoms aren't there.
Speaker:I'm always amazed at how the teachers and the counselors and psychologist or
Speaker:psychiatrist or whatever want to quickly put a label on
Speaker:children,
Speaker:but they don't look at them 24 hours a day and find out where they're highly
Speaker:engaged. Whenever there's an attention deficit,
Speaker:there is an attention surplus. And I have yet to see one that didn't have it,
Speaker:but locating what they have attention surplus in,
Speaker:highly focused attentive non-distracted states,
Speaker:in my opinion is a crucial component to know how
Speaker:to manage this, this so-called condition.
Speaker:So in order to appreciate what I'm going to share on this,
Speaker:I have to develop something that I do in almost every presentation I do.
Speaker:It's a discussion on human values.
Speaker:So if you have something to write with and write on,
Speaker:you might want to just put these two together because this is crucial.
Speaker:And this I rarely see in any literature and I don't know why, it's so obvious,
Speaker:but I just want to share with you cause it's I know it's fact,
Speaker:I know it's something that's solid.
Speaker:So every human being lives by a set of priorities, a set of values,
Speaker:things that are most important to least important, every individual,
Speaker:regardless of culture, regardless of age, gender, et cetera.
Speaker:So if you look carefully,
Speaker:there are some things that you are highly inspired by, engaged in,
Speaker:focused on, and you can do spontaneously.
Speaker:And there's other things that you don't want to do. A young boy, for instance,
Speaker:may love his video games. He can sit there for hours focused on video games,
Speaker:not distracted, not hyperactive, but calm and centered and beating the game.
Speaker:And then they may have something that's uninspired to them like taking the trash
Speaker:out or doing chores or cleaning their room, or maybe some boring homework.
Speaker:And now they're fidgety and they have immediate gratification.
Speaker:They don't want to deal with it and they get distracted easily.
Speaker:Most people have seen that. It's not hard to see, look in your own life.
Speaker:When I'm getting to research on something to do with human behavior,
Speaker:I can engage all day long.
Speaker:But if all of a sudden you start talking about cars or cooking or something
Speaker:that's low on my values, I get easily distracted or bored or whatever.
Speaker:So whatever's highest on your value,
Speaker:you are spontaneously inspired and focused and
Speaker:disciplined and reliable to be putting energy into it and to be focused on it,
Speaker:and you're attentive there. And the way the brain is set up,
Speaker:you have attention surplus order there, retention surplus,
Speaker:that means you retain the information, and intention surplus,
Speaker:that means you intend to do it. You'd stay disciplined, focused on it.
Speaker:But whatever's low on your value, you are procrastinated,
Speaker:hesitated and frustrated by, and you are attention deficit,
Speaker:intention deficit and retention deficit.
Speaker:That means you don't really pay attention to it,
Speaker:you won't retain it and you don't want to apply and put energy into it.
Speaker:So whenever activities are disengaging,
Speaker:uninspiring, unfulfilling to a child,
Speaker:they're going to be bored doing it,
Speaker:or they're going to be burned out if you force them to do it. Now,
Speaker:what's interesting is one of the treatments that psychiatry,
Speaker:the medical model that plays with ADHD,
Speaker:is they gave them stimulants or non-stimulants. In other words,
Speaker:if one doesn't work they give them the other one. Because if they're bored,
Speaker:stimulants helps them. Cause it's going to artificial neuro-transmitter
Speaker:stimulation, usually norepinephrine and dopamine related that lift them up,
Speaker:makes them think that they're engaged.
Speaker:And if it's there in a sense they're hyperactive,
Speaker:they're on the other side of the equation and they're burned out forcing to do
Speaker:it, they may do the opposite,
Speaker:because they get irritated and get aggressive and sometimes frustrated by it.
Speaker:So they take them and sedate them.
Speaker:So the medication is sort of not a real absolute science and guarantee,
Speaker:it's kind of a hit and miss to some degree.
Speaker:And when you are in a situation where you don't have the time to do what I'm
Speaker:about to share with you and you feel overwhelmed and the teachers don't want to
Speaker:take the time, so what happens is they stick them on medication.
Speaker:And back around 2012 or 13,
Speaker:when they changed the ICD 9 codes for diagnosis,
Speaker:there's a movie you might want to go take a peek at called 'The Million Dollar
Speaker:Deal'. They found out that there was a, the head of the neuro,
Speaker:the psychiatry association and the pharmaceutical industry has got in cahoots
Speaker:and changed the description of the conditions in
Speaker:such a way that almost every child from about age eight would be able to be on a
Speaker:medication. So they automatically,
Speaker:now you almost can't go to school without if there's any slight hesitation or
Speaker:slight activation of this hyper activity that they just stick them on
Speaker:medication. And there is side effects.
Speaker:And it's wise as a parent to read about all the side effects of the drugs long-
Speaker:term, because there is side effects.
Speaker:You can't take a drug without a side effect.
Speaker:The PDR physician's desk reference shows this,
Speaker:and I'm not saying it doesn't have a place.
Speaker:And it doesn't mean that you don't have to deal with those side effects,
Speaker:but you know, parents that don't want to learn what I'm about to share with you,
Speaker:they're probably going to do that.
Speaker:But just know that you're labeling a child, you're getting them focused.
Speaker:You're not teaching about how their physiology works
Speaker:feedback. And there's possibly not even a condition here.
Speaker:It may just be a focus and I'm going to show you what to do with it,
Speaker:but just know that if you, if you do that,
Speaker:that's the reason why they're putting them on stimulants or non-stimulants based
Speaker:on boredom or burnout.
Speaker:Burnout is when you feel like you're having to go to school and somebody is
Speaker:forcing you to do something and your teachers and parents are forcing you to do
Speaker:something you don't really want to do.
Speaker:And you're burned out because you're constantly under a sympathetic response
Speaker:inside your brain going, this is a fight or flight response,
Speaker:and you want to run around and get away from it and escape.
Speaker:And you got all this energy that's burnt up. It's like an adrenaline stimulus.
Speaker:And so that's where the sedative or stimulative
Speaker:approaches are. Now. Let's take a look at this.
Speaker:You have inside your brain, a forebrain,
Speaker:which is called the medial prefrontal cortex, which is the executive center,
Speaker:which governs behavior,
Speaker:which calms down and inhibits hyperactivity and immediate gratification.
Speaker:It calms down impulsivity,
Speaker:it calms down instinctual fears.
Speaker:So that means instead of something that you don't want to do that's accentuated,
Speaker:you calm down and you're less resistant to it, and it's not so much impulsive.
Speaker:So you calm down impulse and you calm down resistance. That itself will help.
Speaker:So anything you can do to get the child into the executive center is going to
Speaker:help reduce the symptoms automatically. And then you also have the,
Speaker:you might say the amygdala or the kind of the animal desire center,
Speaker:which is there and down into the hindbrain.
Speaker:And this is where impulses and instincts occur.
Speaker:This is where you desire pleasure and avoid pain.
Speaker:So if a child is disengaged and uninspired and doesn't have something that is
Speaker:doing, that's really meaningful to it,
Speaker:the amygdala comes online and gets blood and glucose and get oxygen there and it
Speaker:goes into activity and it wants to avoid activities that it's not inspired by it
Speaker:and quickly go and do immediate gratification. Whenever
Speaker:the time and space horizons shrink.
Speaker:So that means your attention gets smaller and smaller and smaller and smaller.
Speaker:And whenever you're in the executive function,
Speaker:it gets bigger and bigger and bigger and more patient.
Speaker:And because at the executive center calms down impulses and instincts,
Speaker:you become more resilient and adaptable and almost anything you can see on the
Speaker:way, not in the way. But if you're down in your amygdala,
Speaker:anything that reminds you of something you don't want to do gets accentuated.
Speaker:Anything you do want to do gets heightened,
Speaker:but because of hedonic adaptation in the brain,
Speaker:which is basically a calming down,
Speaker:just like when you go out on a date and the first night you kiss for 45 minutes
Speaker:and the second night, 43 and the next night 41,
Speaker:and you kiss a little bit less each time,
Speaker:that's hedonic adaptation and it desensitizes it, you might say,
Speaker:or adapts to this pleasure seeking. And this is what the child does.
Speaker:So what happens is it goes into this impulsivity and it quickly then calms it
Speaker:down and it goes onto the next thing.
Speaker:So what I'm saying here is that if we can get the child to find
Speaker:out what it loves doing, what it's inspired by,
Speaker:what it spontaneously does, I guarantee you,
Speaker:so far in all the cases I've worked with when Ive worked with children,
Speaker:there's something that the child does that they're absolutely focused on or
Speaker:more heightenedly focused on,
Speaker:and they can spend hours on it without distraction,
Speaker:finding out what that is and finding out what the common denominator of those
Speaker:activities, if it's more than one is,
Speaker:and identifying what is highest on your child's values. You know,
Speaker:almost every seminar I talk about, I talk about values, as I said,
Speaker:and on my website,
Speaker:I have a complimentary Value Determination process. It's free,
Speaker:complimentary, it's about 30 minutes of your time. It's 13 basic questions,
Speaker:to narrow down what your life demonstrates is valuable and important
Speaker:to you. I cannot emphasize,
Speaker:find out close attention to what your child is
Speaker:spontaneously inspired by and stays focused on. It may be video games.
Speaker:And you may sit 'Well stop that video game, when you've done your homework,
Speaker:you can do the video game.' And what you're doing is,
Speaker:instead of identifying what is really meaningful and inspiring to the child,
Speaker:you keep pushing on to things that it has no engagement in.
Speaker:And that adds to the problem. First,
Speaker:find out what is highest on their value,
Speaker:where they are spontaneously centered and focused and patient and attentive to.
Speaker:Because every child has a place. I mean, I've had parents come to me and said,
Speaker:'Well, there's nothing. There's nothing.
Speaker:I can't think of anything that they're focused on.
Speaker:They're just running around and everything else.' I said, 'Stop,
Speaker:find out what it is,
Speaker:and look at when he's calm and centered.' And they finally go,
Speaker:'Oh yeah. Well, when he's doing video games, yeah. Or when he's playing soccer,
Speaker:or when he's working on his toy engine that he's building.'
Speaker:Okay. Finding out what that highest value is, what's totally engaging,
Speaker:and then we now want to make links to other topics,
Speaker:other actions and other items in their life to that.
Speaker:Because once the child sees what's important to the child and sees everything
Speaker:else related to that and connected to that by linking the child stays engaged.
Speaker:Anytime you can get the child to live in what its highest values are,
Speaker:you will find that the behavior automatically calms down.
Speaker:It automatically becomes more centered and attentive, less distracted,
Speaker:less hyperactive. So find out what that is. That's the first thing,
Speaker:go on my website, learn how to determine values,
Speaker:pay close attention to the 13 questions that it asks you.
Speaker:Now look at your child or your teenager.
Speaker:Maybe you husband or wife who has this,
Speaker:and go and look at where they are focused. And don't say they aren't.
Speaker:And if they say that they're not, look again, cause it's there.
Speaker:Once you find out what that is,
Speaker:and you realize that they have a selective attention,
Speaker:a selective concentrated attention,
Speaker:that doesn't happen to match what everybody else is expecting them to go and
Speaker:learn and do. Once you find that, you've got the core.
Speaker:Now,
Speaker:any time a child can live by priority and do what's really engaging to
Speaker:them, you can see the change in their behavior right off the bat.
Speaker:If they can sit there for hours on video games and they obviously see something
Speaker:in the video game that's meaningful to them.
Speaker:And instead of suppressing that and going wrong,
Speaker:if you can link other things to that,
Speaker:I'm going to show you and give an example in a minute,
Speaker:then you will broaden it and the broader you make it,
Speaker:the more they come back into a function where they can actually work without
Speaker:having some of these symptoms. But first identify what that is,
Speaker:because in their highest values, that's where they're focused.
Speaker:That's where they're disciplined. That's where they're reliable.
Speaker:That's where they're organized. That's where they're ordered.
Speaker:That's where they can stay engaged. That's where their creative genius is,
Speaker:that's where they expand their space and time horizons and have patience.
Speaker:That's where they're inspired. That's when they're present.
Speaker:That's when they're more objective, more reasonable,
Speaker:less narcissistically demanding, and interruptive.
Speaker:They're actually more in a state of equanimity and equity in that state,
Speaker:when you find out what that is. So that's the first step.
Speaker:The second step is to start to prioritize their life so they can have the
Speaker:time to focus on that which is priority to them. Now, you're first thinking,
Speaker:'But that's not right.
Speaker:I got to get them to school and I got to do this and he's got to do that.' Well,
Speaker:do you love doing got to's and have to's that the world imposes on you,
Speaker:or do you love doing something that inspires you? My son
Speaker:but today he's a video YouTuber.
Speaker:He's got 31,000 people that are paying attention to him and that's his business
Speaker:and career path. That's what he's doing.
Speaker:And some of his mentors are making 50 million,
Speaker:25 million dollars a year doing it.
Speaker:So don't negate that and rule that out because that's part of the future.
Speaker:And we have to face that, we can't live in the past.
Speaker:We've got to realize what's going on today in careers and possibilities for
Speaker:jobs. Now, once you identify what this is,
Speaker:now, you make links to that.
Speaker:And so I'm gonna give you a story here and give you an example.
Speaker:I was 25 years old,
Speaker:I was in clinical internship at my college and I was
Speaker:going to school and I had a boy who had this attention
Speaker:deficit hyperactivity, and the mother brought him in,
Speaker:on occasion I saw the father, but most of the time the mother,
Speaker:and this kid literally would run back and forth in a small room,
Speaker:an 8 by 10 room, run back and forth in it, and climbing the walls,
Speaker:running around the table, crawling under the table,
Speaker:coming up and making faces at me and running off and stuff like that.
Speaker:The typical kind of bizarre states. So I asked the mom, I said,
Speaker:'So go to a moment where and when your son has been calm, centered, focused,
Speaker:and not distracted.' And at first she said, 'I have no idea.
Speaker:He's just running around and everything else until he crashes at night,
Speaker:and then he's out.' 'Okay,
Speaker:let's look again.' And she finally looked and scanned and then she goes,
Speaker:'Okay, my boy loves trains.
Speaker:He loves trains. Yeah. And anything to do with trains,
Speaker:he'll read about or he'll focus on.' Well, that's interesting.
Speaker:So I brought the kid over,
Speaker:I started walking to him and he came up to me and I said,
Speaker:'So your mom says you love trains.' He said, 'Yeah.' And he started,
Speaker:he kept doing it. I said, 'What's the longest train you've ever seen?
Speaker:How many cars does it have?' And he all of a sudden he stopped and he thought,
Speaker:'I don't know,
Speaker:more than a hundred.' 'How many cars were tank
Speaker:cars vs you know, carrying cars, box cars?'
Speaker:He goes,
Speaker:'Hmm.' 'And how many of them actually were carrying cars on cars?'
Speaker:And I made him think, because he loved trains. I said,
Speaker:'Where's the last time you watched the long train?
Speaker:Was it a freight train or passenger train?' I started engaging him and he sat
Speaker:and he started talking to me.
Speaker:And as long as I asked him questions about what was important to him, trains,
Speaker:then I asked him,
Speaker:'Where do those trains get all the stuff that they carry?'
Speaker:He says, 'Hmmm, don't know.' I said, 'Well,
Speaker:they sometimes ship into a port, the port loads them onto a train,
Speaker:the box cars and then they take them to locations in different cities to
Speaker:different routes. How wide is the track? Have you measured it?
Speaker:How many wheels on the car?
Speaker:What most common color you see in those cars?
Speaker:How many engines per how many cars can it carry?
Speaker:Is the engine going backwards or forward?
Speaker:When is the train what's the average speed when it crosses?' I
Speaker:just started asking questions and made him think.
Speaker:And the child all of a sudden was thinking and engaging and quiet and focused
Speaker:and the mother's like going, 'Whoa, this is interesting'.
Speaker:And as long as I kept him focused on cars, on trains,
Speaker:on anything to do with the train, I had his attention.
Speaker:And she sat there and she goes, 'I can't believe I've never,
Speaker:I've never really paid attention to this. I just,
Speaker:occasionally he gets focused on cars and he can do it.' I said,
Speaker:'Does he have models of trains?' He goes, 'yes'.
Speaker:'And does he put them together?' 'Yes.' 'And does he stay focused when he does
Speaker:it?' 'More than usual, yes. He'll do it for an hour and two,
Speaker:and then he'll stop.' 'Okay. Well, that's two hours of focused attention.
Speaker:That's pretty good. That's pretty good for his age.
Speaker:Cause he's doing something that's meaningful to him.
Speaker:Does he have magazines that are trains?' She goes, 'Nope.
Speaker:Should I get him some?' I said, 'Yes. Have you taken him,
Speaker:you live here in Pasadena, there's the ship channel here,
Speaker:out of the ship channel is all the train routes going out.
Speaker:Why don't you take him down there and let them go and study trains?
Speaker:And then see if you can't get him a book and go to a bookstore and find a book.'
Speaker:These days there were bookstores. It wasn't Amazon. And I said,
Speaker:'Why don't you go and see about getting a book on trains and let him see if he
Speaker:can read and engage him.' See anything that you can associate with what the
Speaker:child is very inspired by,
Speaker:you will expand the child's awareness and associations in the brain.
Speaker:He has a concentrated, highly concentrated attention surplus order,
Speaker:as a result of it he has incredible order in that area,
Speaker:and attention deficit to everything else unrelated to the topic.
Speaker:But if you start to link things to that topic, it expands,
Speaker:and then if you make connections, 'By the way,
Speaker:how many people actually are in passenger trains?
Speaker:What's the length. How many people sit in the car? Are there sleeping cars?
Speaker:Let's go find out, let's go on the internet.
Speaker:Let's go on the dictionary. Let's go find out.
Speaker:Let's go explore and get him engaged.' And the more you keep adding to this
Speaker:thing called trains and correlate. Then go, 'Well,
Speaker:what's the average train cost?
Speaker:What's the average train ride if you ride on a passenger ticket and what's the
Speaker:type of cars that were there and what type of social structure does it take to
Speaker:have the income to do that and how much money?' As long as you keep weaving
Speaker:things back to trains, he'll keep getting engaged and stay focused.
Speaker:And the moment you do that, I learned from Marilyn Wilhelm,
Speaker:who was an amazing teacher, who had the Wilhelm School for children,
Speaker:how she would identify what was most important to the child and keep allowing
Speaker:the child to excel by teaching everybody else that topic.
Speaker:And then whenever somebody else wanted to do singing or whatever,
Speaker:then she would teach about singing.
Speaker:And when somebody wanted football and he would teach about football and
Speaker:everybody got to teach and engage in what they were inspired by.
Speaker:And then everybody in the room was then engaging and cross-reference.
Speaker:So she said, well, what was the type of train in 1954? Good.
Speaker:Who is the number one singer? Who was the baseball star at the time?
Speaker:And everybody in the school, the class got engaged according to their needs,
Speaker:but yet they were getting cross-reference between their needs and everybody
Speaker:else's needs and expanding their knowledge.
Speaker:This is possible to do with attention deficit. Now, the second,
Speaker:can you get this boy engaged in what was important, the trains,
Speaker:he became a friend, he wasn't interruptive, he wasn't running,
Speaker:he was curious, he asked his mom,
Speaker:'Can we get that magazine or get that book?
Speaker:Can we go down to the ship channel mom? Can we go watch trains?'
Speaker:And he would then report back to me on the next visit, three days later,
Speaker:two days later, what he learned.
Speaker:So now he's engaged and wants to talk to me because I'm associated with what's
Speaker:valuable to him, trains. Because I've now got him in his executive center,
Speaker:focused. And the second he's in his executive center,
Speaker:his space and time horizons get bigger. He doesn't get hyperactive.
Speaker:He's not impulsive. He's not dominating and domineering.
Speaker:Because that's trying to get attention saying I want what I want.
Speaker:I want to be able to do something that's meaningful to me.
Speaker:Every human being wants to learn. They want to learn. What's valuable to them.
Speaker:And sometimes people have concentrated,
Speaker:highly associative areas that are like trains.
Speaker:The more I connected things to train, the more this child became engaged.
Speaker:Now only worked in the clinic there for a couple of years,
Speaker:I only got to watch the boy for a couple of years,
Speaker:but we were able to link classes to his trains.
Speaker:He was able to go build trains. He was able to go and visit trains.
Speaker:He got to talk to engineers.
Speaker:He got to talk to people that were involved in trains.
Speaker:He got to go to the ticket counter at trains. He got to learn about money.
Speaker:He got to learn about, he was learning anything to do with trains.
Speaker:He became the most knowledgeable kid on trains.
Speaker:That gave him a center of attention. The teacher quit labeling him,
Speaker:stopped the label and started to learn what I was trying to share and that the
Speaker:child has an attention surplus order, a highly focused attention.
Speaker:And if you expand it they'll grow. Somewhere in his life,
Speaker:probably there was a choo choo train or something like that that was highly
Speaker:pleasureful and some other things around him were painful and he got associated
Speaker:with the pleasures of the train and he concentrated his focus there to deal with
Speaker:the other stuff. So here's what I want you to get.
Speaker:I want you to get that before you label the child,
Speaker:before you medicate the child,
Speaker:please try to find out what they are attentive to most find out what their
Speaker:highest value is.
Speaker:There was one lady that found out her boy wanted to draw
Speaker:stars on windows. He would draw stars on the walls.
Speaker:He would draw stars on furniture. He would draw, he was everything with stars.
Speaker:She finally figured out, obviously he's into stars.
Speaker:So she bought him a book on stars for astronomy for kids.
Speaker:And he started devouring it.
Speaker:Eventually he was doing and drawing anything to do with stars.
Speaker:He was drawing a stellar systems and he was learning about it.
Speaker:Well,
Speaker:this kid became at the Perimeter Institute by the time he was a teenager,
Speaker:he got a PhD in astrophysics.
Speaker:And the kid that they thought was going to be non-functional in school,
Speaker:turned out to be way ahead of everybody else.
Speaker:So my point is, find out what it is that they are inspired, engaged,
Speaker:focused, disciplined, reliable, not distracted from,
Speaker:because what they're doing when they're getting surrounded by stuff,
Speaker:that's not inspiring to them, they're looking for something that is,
Speaker:and the second they can find it, they can pinpoint. So the train was this boys,
Speaker:but I've seen different things, I saw horses with another girl one time,
Speaker:and I saw soccer with another boy one time, and finding out what it is,
Speaker:and I've seen social media with some people at times,
Speaker:or I see certain types of games that they get in social media that's engaging
Speaker:at times.
Speaker:Sometimes they want you to actually believe it and the parents are actually
Speaker:anti-guns and anti-violence and everything else and they concentrate on video
Speaker:games that are in violence to counterbalance the family
Speaker:you can't do that and they got hyperactive kid and they don't realize that
Speaker:that's exactly what he's interested in, guns, shooting. 'You can't do that,
Speaker:it's bad.' No, it's not necessarily.
Speaker:He might end up being a general someday and one of the leaders of our country,
Speaker:you don't know. So don't make it evil.
Speaker:Every single value system out there has a place on the planet,
Speaker:every value system. And when it doesn't match your value system,
Speaker:you label it wrong and cruel or negative or
Speaker:evil or whatever, out of ignorance.
Speaker:The whole world depends on the full spectrum of value systems.
Speaker:And we sometimes have conformity to the conformed average,
Speaker:instead of finding out the uniqueness.
Speaker:And sometimes the very unique people are the leaders in the future.
Speaker:And so that doesn't mean,
Speaker:I had a little bit of the attention deficit too when I was a child,
Speaker:I had learning problems as a child.
Speaker:I used to go and drum my fingers and move around and stuff like that.
Speaker:I'm a scholar today. So I found out what inspired me,
Speaker:the evolution of human consciousness, human behavior,
Speaker:maximizing human awareness and potential.
Speaker:And now I've excelled in that I can stay hours and hours and hours and hours in
Speaker:that. But you get me in front of a cooking class or a car show,
Speaker:and I'm going to have ADHD, attention deficit.
Speaker:Now here's some action steps to take, besides finding out what that is,
Speaker:identifying what the values are, paying close attention, not negating it,
Speaker:find out what the highest values are, number one,
Speaker:find out how that serves everybody in the family.
Speaker:Have the teacher find out how that value serves the teacher,
Speaker:because If the teacher negates that value,
Speaker:she'll talk down and suppress the child autocratically. Find out how that,
Speaker:whatever that is, how it helps the teacher,
Speaker:because the teacher deserves to respect the child's values instead of impose on
Speaker:it. And you do the same,
Speaker:and find out how it helps everybody in the family.
Speaker:Because when they're concentrated, it's dispersed,
Speaker:it's counterbalancing a dispersion of family dynamics I promise you.
Speaker:Something that's unimportant gets concentrated in importance in the child,
Speaker:within a family dynamic. Pay close attention to that.
Speaker:Then what you do is then give the child the opportunity to do what it's
Speaker:doing and let it excel in that and keep expanding it.
Speaker:Keep adding things that relate to it and keep linking it by asking questions.
Speaker:The greatest way to link things is asking questions. So if there's,
Speaker:what's the longest train, let's go find the longest train. How many cars is it?
Speaker:How many engines does it take? Now, how much energy does it take to do that?
Speaker:Let's go and find out how what's the fuel for the engine.
Speaker:How's the engine manufactured? As long as we're relating to trains,
Speaker:it's going to keep wanting to know more about things. What's it made out of?
Speaker:What, is it made out of metal? How's the metal made? What's the fuel?
Speaker:Is it coal? Is it wood? Is it a diesel? What's it made out of?
Speaker:And who owns the companies? And how many companies are there in the world?
Speaker:And who's the wealthiest people in the world? And they may go, 'Whoa,
Speaker:I want to be wealthy. And to be an engineer and own a train company'.
Speaker:As long as you keep linking new things in all areas of life to that,
Speaker:how many people can they carry? What does that do to society?
Speaker:How many jobs does that give? How many people are able to have that?
Speaker:How many people meet on a train?
Speaker:How many of them have babies and families as a result of it,
Speaker:just keep relating everything to a train and you will engage your child and
Speaker:expand their awareness and blow your mind.
Speaker:And I've seen this over and over again. So find out what their values are,
Speaker:let them concentrate on it. Keep adding things to it.
Speaker:Keep linking relationships of other things that you may want them to learn to
Speaker:it. Make the connections, honor their values,
Speaker:find out how their values serve you. Allow them to do,
Speaker:because the moment you get them in their highest values,
Speaker:their space and time horizons grow, and they'll be more patient.
Speaker:You'll see the patience grow as they do. If not,
Speaker:shorten the time down to get the expectations down
Speaker:when you expect things from them. But when you actually get them engaged,
Speaker:it will expand. And allow them to excel.
Speaker:Let them be the center of attention around that topic.
Speaker:Keep asking more questions about the topic that they're inspired by until they
Speaker:gain confidence in themselves, gain leadership skills on their selves,
Speaker:let let them emerge as a leader. When they do,
Speaker:they're more likely to want to tackle challenges that inspire them and prepare
Speaker:themselves to wake up their natural leader.
Speaker:You're training and myelinating the executive center, not the amygdala.
Speaker:That's the problem with the ADHD. The amygdala is alive,
Speaker:but the executive center is shut down. It's not myelinated.
Speaker:And so you got a running wild animal around the house,
Speaker:but once you get them engaged in something inspiring,
Speaker:the amygdala calms down and you start having less impulse and instinct.
Speaker:Because instinct is a subjective bias against pain and impulse is a subjective
Speaker:bias towards pleasure. And that's basically avoid this, seek this.
Speaker:And then when they get adapted to the thing that they seek,
Speaker:they go to the next thing because their time horizons are so small because
Speaker:they're disengaged in what's around them,
Speaker:but give them something they're engaged on and you can see the impact
Speaker:immediately.
Speaker:All the people in the family that's been disrupted from it because they didn't
Speaker:know how to manage it, have them come and do the Demartini Method,
Speaker:like I teach it in the Breakthrough Experience.
Speaker:In the Breakthrough Experience I give you the Demartini Method,
Speaker:which is a tool on how to dissolve emotional baggage you've associated with
Speaker:people and how to love and appreciate them for who they are and have reflective
Speaker:awareness.
Speaker:If everybody in the family appreciates and honors the child for it's unique
Speaker:value structure and sees how it serves them and doesn't judge them and put them
Speaker:down and become autocrats and try to control the child,
Speaker:the child will come out and bloom.
Speaker:The child will excel and you'll get to watch the genius unfold.
Speaker:And that's really what this ADHD.
Speaker:So be organized, give them a routine,
Speaker:give them the ability to focus on what's inspiring to them, don't dishonor it,
Speaker:don't punishment if they're doing it and reward them if they're doing only what
Speaker:you're wanting them to do,
Speaker:because you're training them how to be a drone instead of an independent
Speaker:thinker, that stands out.
Speaker:You might find that this person that's hyperactive might end up being the next
Speaker:Elon Musk in the thing,
Speaker:doing something that's something that's unprecedented in the world. So these,
Speaker:these conditions as they call them,
Speaker:these disorders that that people blow out of there butt as a diagnosis title,
Speaker:are sometimes nothing more than a feedback mechanism,
Speaker:the symptoms are a feedback mechanism to help children be authentic,
Speaker:to go and pursue what's meaningful to them and living in a society that doesn't
Speaker:want you to stand out and wants you to fit in.
Speaker:It's difficult for these children.
Speaker:So give them an opportunity to be themselves and let
Speaker:they do. I've seen this, like I say,
Speaker:in many different areas that the children is and finding that out as a day your
Speaker:life changes and their life changes.
Speaker:And teach your child and teach the parents about these two aspects,
Speaker:the amygdala and the executive center,
Speaker:put it into your own words the way they understand it,
Speaker:let them understand that they're unique and don't put a label on them.
Speaker:Because the second you put a label on them and diagnose it and put it in the
Speaker:Latin and put them on a medication and put them into side effects and ignore
Speaker:what's important to them,
Speaker:you may have just missed out on a genius in your hands that's really capable of
Speaker:doing something extraordinary.
Speaker:So I just wanted to take a few moments to share something on that in case that
Speaker:happens to be something you're relating to in your family or extended family or
Speaker:friends.
Speaker:But attention deficit disorder is also got it counterbalanced by an
Speaker:attention surplus order.
Speaker:Find out where the attention is surplussed and where there's a tremendous amount
Speaker:of order and organization in the child,
Speaker:and let them excel and keep expanding that.
Speaker:If you keep expanding that you will be able to take it and link anything.
Speaker:The way the brain is set up, anything can be linked to anything.
Speaker:If I asked you if you're interested in trains and I asked you how many people
Speaker:they carried and what percentage of the population,
Speaker:I can now relate that to sociology. If I said,
Speaker:what's the engine burning as fuel, I can now take it to chemistry.
Speaker:If I go in and said how fast is it going, I can take it to physics.
Speaker:If I can say, what's the sound, what's the actual frequency of the sound,
Speaker:I can take it to music.
Speaker:I can take the train and link it to anything else and start engaging him in
Speaker:other things, by asking you questions that make a link.
Speaker:So all of a sudden expand this view,
Speaker:because anything that's related to what's important to them they can expand
Speaker:into. And all of a sudden, once you've got them associated and expanded,
Speaker:instead of this concentrated focus, it's now broader.
Speaker:And now they're able to function pretty well in society, you know,
Speaker:fully aware of what they're doing,
Speaker:knowing what they're doing and knowing how to use that,
Speaker:training them how to use that talent.
Speaker:So if they were around a situation that they seems boring,
Speaker:they know how to ask questions, how can I link it? And then they can be engaged.
Speaker:And the same thing for people,
Speaker:every one of us have had moments in our life where we've met people that were
Speaker:going boring, disengaging. They said their name,
Speaker:and you forgot their name in a billionth of a second. And somebody asked you,
Speaker:'Who was that?' And you go, 'I don't know.' 'Well,
Speaker:they just said their name.' I said, 'Yeah,
Speaker:I didn't get it.' Because you were not even focused on it.
Speaker:But if somebody that's really valuable comes up to you and says their name,
Speaker:you remember it, you recite it, you repeat it. You write it down.
Speaker:You engage in it. So this is going on, all of us,
Speaker:we all have varying degrees of this at different moments on different topics
Speaker:based on our own values. So know what the values are of your child.
Speaker:Learn to communicate in those values,
Speaker:give them an opportunity to excel in those values,
Speaker:find out how those values serve you so you don't have to fix them.
Speaker:You can appreciate them because when you love and appreciate them for who they
Speaker:are, they turn into who you love.
Speaker:It opens the doorways for a new type of relationship with your child or your
Speaker:spouse or whoever this is at whatever age it is,
Speaker:because these are labels and they're diagnosis and dia agnosis
Speaker:means through knowledge supposedly, but it could also mean
Speaker:di agnosis, two who don't know, you and they,
Speaker:so be aware of the labels.
Speaker:We sometimes do that because we are caught in a model,
Speaker:a pharmaceutical model that we're just immediately think, well,
Speaker:a solution is a drug, and that's not always the case.
Speaker:The greatest pharmaceutical industry there is, is your brain.
Speaker:There's no pharmaceutical on this planet,
Speaker:no pharmaceutical company on this planet,
Speaker:no pharmaceutical specialists on the planet,
Speaker:that can know more than your own brain, at this stage that's not possible.
Speaker:So learn how to use the brain and give your child his brain back.
Speaker:That's my experience.
Speaker:So I'm not saying that there's not a time for the medications,
Speaker:for people that aren't willing to do what I just said,
Speaker:or people who don't know how to do it,
Speaker:or people that are too preoccupied with their curriculum and their things,
Speaker:and not really the kids, which is the purpose of the education, well,
Speaker:then they're going to stick them on that and thank God it's there,
Speaker:but that's not the first approach. First solution.
Speaker:The first solution is to try to engage the child in his genius awakening. Okay.
Speaker:I think I've said something on ADHD now,
Speaker:hopefully that was helpful in case you know somebody that has it,
Speaker:this so-called condition.
Speaker:It may be nothing but a feedback mechanism to guide the child to be authentic
Speaker:and the parents to learn how to communicate and society to learn how to
Speaker:communicate. Now, to help on this process,
Speaker:to help the child expand itself, here's something for you,
Speaker:the parent or the child. And then both of you can watch this.
Speaker:It's called awakening, your astronaut comical vision,
Speaker:because the greater the vision, the greater your life,
Speaker:that's why if you can expand your child's vision and get them from the highly
Speaker:concentrated value system and expand it,
Speaker:you're going to change their life and you're gonna change your life in the
Speaker:family. So I have Awakening Your Astronomical Vision.
Speaker:It's a live presentation I did at a planetarium to executives and
Speaker:people running big companies,
Speaker:but it's about people with a vision flourish and those
Speaker:and whether it's a child or whether it's a young adult,
Speaker:anybody can benefit from this package.
Speaker:This is a complimentary package I want to give you. It's a value to $50.
Speaker:All you got to do is go to demartini.fm/gift and grab it.
Speaker:You'll watch it, watch it multiple times,
Speaker:once you've seen it then let your child see bits and pieces of it,
Speaker:or the whole thing if they're engaged,
Speaker:but please take advantage of the information and go on my website,
Speaker:help determine the values,
Speaker:what you can learn on there you can observe in your child and determine what
Speaker:their values are and what's really important.
Speaker:A child has something very important to their life, help them excel at that,
Speaker:and they'll find meaning and purpose and they'll excel. Okay.
Speaker:So thank you for joining me today on ADHD.
Speaker:I look forward to our next presentation coming up in the following week.
Speaker:And please,
Speaker:if you got value out of this presentation and you know somebody that it can
Speaker:value, please help me get this out, let them know about my YouTube, my podcast,
Speaker:let them know about the website, because we are an educational institution,
Speaker:we're dedicated to educating people on things that can help them maximize their
Speaker:life. So please take advantage of let people know, just send the links out,
Speaker:tell people about it. I appreciate that because when I'm speaking here,
Speaker:this message, in my opinion, this message needs to be heard.
Speaker:There's a lot out there that people are getting that's misinformation,
Speaker:as you know, and this is something that will be helpful to them.
Speaker:There's nothing to lose by learning how to identify their values and help to
Speaker:appreciate your child and engage and communicate and help them in the linking
Speaker:process. I've seen it work wonders. I've watched it impact families.
Speaker:Please take advantage of the information and share that with people you care
Speaker:about.
Speaker:[Inaudible].
Speaker:Thank you for joining me for this presentation today.
Speaker:If you found value out of the presentation,
Speaker:please go below and please share your comments.
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Speaker:That way I can bring more content to you and share more to help you maximize
Speaker:your life. I look forward to our next presentation. Thank you so much.