00:00:00:00 - 00:00:34:23

Unknown

I've had that happen a couple times in my life where anger, which is kind of like my primary emotion that can lead to distraction. A lot of you guys already know that, has like, you know, destroyed businesses in my life. And I didn't go to my board of advisors first to help prevent that.

00:00:34:25 - 00:00:57:24

Unknown

Welcome back to Crafted Entrepreneur. So a couple episodes back, I did a whole episode on why I label people in my life. And you guys loved it so much. I'm going to go into even more depth, and it's going to help you as an entrepreneur, because you need to realize that not everybody is your friend, and that's totally okay.

00:00:58:01 - 00:01:20:07

Unknown

You just need to be discerning about what people really want from you in your life, so you don't set yourself up for disappointment, heartache, or betrayal. All right, so let's get into it. This comes up because listen, in business we are in the people business. And some days I wish I wasn't in the people business because people are complex.

00:01:20:10 - 00:01:53:23

Unknown

Everybody has their own wants, needs and desires and sometimes they don't line up with your wants, needs and desires so things can get tricky or difficult. So there are four categories that you can put people in. And I learned this from Doctor Darius Daniels. Now he doesn't even know I exist. But I read his book called Relational Intelligence, and it was actually recommended to me by my spiritual mentor and so she just kind of saw that I was like continuing to struggle with these things in my life, people.

00:01:53:26 - 00:02:14:12

Unknown

And she was like, you need to like, start to assign people, okay? And so you put people into four different categories. And so I'm going to challenge you throughout this entire episode to really work through this and consistently audit people in your life. So you're set up for the most joy and the least amount of heartache as possible.

00:02:14:17 - 00:02:40:01

Unknown

Okay, so category number one is friends. Now. Friends are those people that you do life with. Yesterday I went to a friend's house. She's from Iran and she was teaching me how to cook like food. And it was so much fun because her culture is so different than the Mexican culture. And, so I just learned so much about the way that they cook and just how hospitable they are.

00:02:40:07 - 00:03:03:17

Unknown

And we had a blast. And I didn't go there like, knowing I had to. I didn't think about having to pour into her, having to, like, do anything to like, you know, be a friend. It just you get to kind of be okay. And I don't expect anything from her. Like, I'm not expecting for her to help me grow my business or to, you know, go to her for business advice.

00:03:03:19 - 00:03:20:22

Unknown

It's just we're friends, all right? That's like, the simplest way I can put it. And also, I feel like she is a safe place for me to talk about things that I'm maybe going through as a mom or a wife, or just like the move that I'm going through in general. We're just talking, and I'm not, like, expecting for her to fix my life.

00:03:20:22 - 00:03:45:01

Unknown

She's not my therapist. We're just enjoying life and chit chatting. Okay, so that is what a friend is to me. I have amazing, amazing friends in my life, but I still like to use my label system when it comes to friends like one through ten, because you know you don't want to give people too much access because not everybody needs to know everything about you, especially as you start to grow your business and put your life out there publicly.

00:03:45:03 - 00:04:14:29

Unknown

All right. So category number two is associates. So I'm a podcaster I'm now a YouTuber. Oh my gosh I can't even believe it. Karma. If you're watching this on YouTube okay. Because I really like YouTube and like the community over on YouTube. But I love my OG podcasters as well. Anyways, associates are going to be people that are also podcasters that I might have on this show because they might have something interesting to say to the world, but I'm not going to consider them a friend.

00:04:15:01 - 00:04:36:21

Unknown

Now. There was a time where I considered anybody a friend. You know, I labeled anybody a friend. And then I wondered, why does it bother me so much when they don't do this or they do that? And now I just look at them as associate. So it's okay. We can glean from each other in the podcasting world. So I'm going to learn from you things about podcasting, YouTube, coaching, all of the things we are peers.

00:04:36:28 - 00:04:56:27

Unknown

And if we can help each other in business, if we can collaborate in any way, great. If we don't, great. No big deal. We don't owe each other anything. And I'm also not going to call them when crap hits the fan in my marriage or, you know, as a mom, because they're not at that level with me. They're not at the front level with me.

00:04:56:28 - 00:05:23:22

Unknown

Okay? We just we just associate in business and that's totally fine. Now, category number three, this is the one that will probably spend the most time on because most of you listening in have a lot of assignments in your life. So category three is assignments. These are the people that are in your life for a season, and they are assigned to you by God to give them your gifts.

00:05:23:27 - 00:05:46:10

Unknown

So, you know, a person is an assignment in your life when they're kind of like they admire you in a way. But what I want you to understand is they don't admire you as a person. They admire the gift inside of you. And this is the difference between an assignment and a friend. Okay, is but they really just want to glean from the gift inside of you.

00:05:46:13 - 00:06:06:04

Unknown

So for me, I have, I have a strategy gift. I have a marketing gift. I can look at people's businesses and really change things in a couple hours for them, help them make millions of dollars so people will pay me a lot of money, money, money. People will pay me a lot of money to come in and give this gift.

00:06:06:04 - 00:06:26:12

Unknown

Okay? These are assignments in my life. And I used to really take it to heart because I would help people, you know, start their business or grow their business. And then when I no longer became valuable to them, right. They didn't need my gift anymore. They'd move on and they'd like, forget about me. Right? And I would cry to my assistant.

00:06:26:12 - 00:06:46:02

Unknown

I'm like, how does she forget me? Like I helped her make millions of dollars and she never talks to me anymore. I have no clue what's going on in her life. I'd get like, so upset. And this is actually why, like, my spiritual mentor, you know, had to talk to me. She's like Kayla, like, this is because you were abandoned as a child, that you have this, you know, the spirit of rejection over.

00:06:46:02 - 00:07:17:06

Unknown

You're like, you're you have that lens like you're always looking at, and you notice the people who leave you. But really, they were meant to leave you because they were just an assignment for a period of time in your life. You gave the gift. Now they're moving on because they no longer need it. And when I started to realize that about most of my coaching clients, and I love my coaching clients, but it's a it's a different energy because I know at some point in time they're going to graduate, they're going to move on.

00:07:17:08 - 00:07:46:20

Unknown

They're not going to need the gift that's inside of me. And that's actually a good thing, because, you know, God again gives them as an assignment and it feeds me. Right. And it also feeds them. It might feed me financially and it might feed them, you know, spiritually, emotionally or business wise. And when you label people this way, when they decide to move on or you decide to move on, there's no harm or foul because you just know, hey, there was an assignment and the assignment is complete.

00:07:46:25 - 00:08:08:14

Unknown

Now, category number four is advisors. And this gets me so fired up because there is so much power in having advisors in your life. And I've talked about my board of advisors before, but you want to pray for these people to come in your life. You want to be seeking these types of people to come into your life.

00:08:08:21 - 00:08:33:15

Unknown

And the advisors are people that help. I like to explain it like this. And Doctor Darius explains it differently, but this is the way that helps me the most. These are people that help you from destroying yourself. That's how I look at it, because at the end of the day, we are human beings that, you know, have emotions, and sometimes those emotions get the best of us and it can kind of lead to destruction.

00:08:33:16 - 00:08:57:03

Unknown

I've had that happen a couple times in my life where anger, which is kind of like my primary emotion that can lead to destruction. A lot of you guys already know that, has like, you know, destroyed businesses in my life. And I didn't go to my board of advisors first to help prevent that. And so what I look for in the board of advisors is in five different categories.

00:08:57:05 - 00:09:18:09

Unknown

Okay. So number one, you want to have an advisor over your wealth. And this doesn't have to be you know, you go to Merrill Lynch. You get a financial advisor. Like I'm talking like I have billionaires that are on my board of advisors that don't make any money from me being wealthy. They're people that I go to and glean from, when I decide, okay, am I going to make this investment?

00:09:18:09 - 00:10:01:07

Unknown

Am I going to make this move? And they will speak life into me or help me see a new perspective? It's very powerful. The second category, when it comes to advisors is health. So who knows more about health than, you know, extremely healthy people that are educated in nutrition, hormones, biohacking, all the things. So I actually work with three different doctors when it comes to my health, because going back to the assignment category, when you're job like, my legit job is working a lot with assignments and it can be very taxing actually on your health if you don't take care of it.

00:10:01:07 - 00:10:22:15

Unknown

Like when I was first starting to coach, I noticed, you know, changes in my sleep, changes in my anxiety. And I wish I would have gotten it in check like years ago. But now I know better. But it takes a lot out of you to give to people constantly. And so you have to have that board that is helping you take care of yourself.

00:10:22:15 - 00:10:51:12

Unknown

So that's why I work with a hormone doctor. I work with a chiropractor. And, who's the other guy I work with? on mental, you know, mental help. We need that as well over here. So then the third category is spiritual. And I happen to get, you know, spiritual advisement from my pastors. I thank God for them because they are just so readily available to help me and pray over me and help me seek God and all that I do.

00:10:51:18 - 00:11:11:23

Unknown

So shout out to Pastor Shalom, Pastor Mark from oceans. They have a podcast out to you that you should listen to. It's called Collective Talk. That's a shameless plug, but you should be able to find, you know, spiritual advisor in your church and look at the fruit in their life. That's and it, you know, people can have fake fruit in their life.

00:11:11:23 - 00:11:32:03

Unknown

So be discerning of that. But look for the real fruit. How are they when crap hits the fan in their life? are they still displaying the fruits of the spirit? That's what I'm looking for, for somebody to advise me spiritually. And then I have two other spiritual mentors that, you know, really, help me also seek the Lord in everything I do.

00:11:32:07 - 00:11:52:08

Unknown

The fourth category is relationships. So when it comes to my marriage, I want to have a board of advisors that I can go to, that have again, you want to look for the fruits of the spirit, right? you want to look and see? Do they have a marriage that I want to have 20, 30 years from now?

00:11:52:15 - 00:12:15:25

Unknown

So, thankfully, Chase and I have some really awesome marriages that we can look up to that advise us in our marriage. Especially like with when you're constantly up leveling and Chase and I are constantly up leveling like we're we're always like upping our growth game. I think you guys see that, right? There's just adversity and resistance that meets you at every level.

00:12:15:25 - 00:12:37:22

Unknown

And so having those board of advisors for our marriage that we can go to and just say, hey, like, help us like, you know, love each other right now in this moment when it's sometimes hard to love if we're on different pages and they come in and they speak life over us and help us really, you know, get on the same page and also row our boat in the same direction.

00:12:37:22 - 00:13:02:02

Unknown

So I'm so thankful for that. That last, category when it comes to advisors is your career. And this is where it's really helpful to invest in a coach. You know, that's what I do for a living. You know, you could be my assignment. But investing in a coach that, you know, really helps you see a bigger vision for your business, helps you help yourself.

00:13:02:05 - 00:13:30:29

Unknown

Okay. And so what happens is I help people go from making maybe $30,000 a month to, you know, $1 million a month. And I see all different types of, you know, struggles along the way. And for instance, I'm going to make up, the names here, and I'm going to shift a little of the things, about this story, because I don't want to like, you know, give away who I'm talking about.

00:13:31:01 - 00:13:55:09

Unknown

But I had a, one of my clients come to me recently, and she's doing really well. You know, she's been able to become a multi-millionaire in less than 18 months, all from, social media. And her mindset has really been struggling because she's so scared that one day it's going to go away. Because when you live most of your life.

00:13:55:12 - 00:14:14:08

Unknown

So if you live over 40 years of your life with a poverty mindset and then all of a sudden you start making like big time money, multiple six figures a month, you tend to kind of either do one of two things. One, you hoard all the money, you're scared to take any risks with it because you're like, what if it goes away?

00:14:14:08 - 00:14:35:09

Unknown

I need to save it all for a rainy day, for when it goes away. And so then you live out this self-fulfilling prophecy of sabotaging your business and making it all go away. Okay. And then the second thing that can happen is you make so much money more than you've ever made in your life, and you decide to spend it like, you know, it's burning a hole in your pocket because you're like, it's going to go away.

00:14:35:14 - 00:14:55:11

Unknown

I need to buy everything right now. I need to spend everything right now. And neither one of those are healthy. And so what we've been working on together is really helping her see, like, how do we create a system to stabilize your business so you continue to make this type of money forever, right? How do you stay innovative?

00:14:55:11 - 00:15:16:19

Unknown

How do you continue to start sharpen your sword as an entrepreneur so you can always be, you know, the trendsetter in your industry. So people are constantly attracted to you, number one. So we stabilize the money. And the second thing we do is empower her and educate her around what investing truly is and how it can actually set her free.

00:15:16:22 - 00:15:37:11

Unknown

And I'm so excited because she's actually invested like multiple, multiple six figures. I'm sure by the end of the year, it'll probably be over $1 million that she'll have invested. And all of this is an alternative assets that have been able to, like, educate her about, about, and put her in the right rooms with her and her husband, by the way.

00:15:37:14 - 00:15:57:12

Unknown

And then that's going to actually set her up for life like these investments, because we've diversified it and it's so much like in five years, like she's going to be sitting so pretty with her and her family, and I am so freaking pumped for her. And that's all because she decided to invest and having an advisor in her business.

00:15:57:12 - 00:16:23:00

Unknown

And it ended up also helping her in her wealth game. And so sometimes when you have these advisors, they might you might be an assignment to your advisor. And that's okay. You're going to glean from them and use them for such a time as this. And it's really a beautiful thing because just like I have assignments in my life, I'm an assignment to somebody else and you get to be that gift to people.

00:16:23:03 - 00:16:52:17

Unknown

So it's really helpful when you understand these four categories, because then you can be discerning in your relationships. I see so many people get their feelings hurt and offended. So easily when, you know, they they don't even need to spend any time in offense. The enemy uses offense over and over again to keep you distracted from living out your destiny.

00:16:52:24 - 00:17:17:12

Unknown

I just met up with somebody who is actually a friend, and we're just catching up over coffee, and you know, she happens to be going through a really hard time in her life right now, and she has some people who are actually associates, so they're not friends. Okay. And these associates were mad at her because she didn't let them in on what she's going on, what's going on in her life.

00:17:17:17 - 00:17:33:05

Unknown

And first of all, that just shows, number one, that they're not friends. If they act crazy like that, when a person's going through a hard time and you make it about you, oh, run for the door right? Run for the door. But listen, she was like really upset because she was like, how could they be mad at me?

00:17:33:08 - 00:17:55:17

Unknown

Because she let them. She was looking at them as a friend as well. Right? She was letting them in at that friend level when really they're just in the same industry. They happen to be in the same career and they're actually just associates. So if you know that and you can label it like these associates are getting crazy, but you didn't let them have access to your heart, access to that inner circle or what me and my friends like to call the nest.

00:17:55:17 - 00:18:40:21

Unknown

Okay. It's safe in the nest here. Then you would just kind of let it go, and we wouldn't have spent a whole morning talking about how hurt she is by these people that weren't actually ever her friends. And so what would your life look like if you were able to separate out people and pour into your assignment to ask for help from your advisors, enjoy time with your friends and learn from your associates and really be able to walk into a room, own it, network like crazy, and really get what you need from each people from get what you need from each person, and also give to each person that you come into contact with

00:18:40:28 - 00:18:59:05

Unknown

according to the categories here. You know, if you're talking to a friend, you're going to give them a little more access to your heart. If you're talking to an associate, you're not really going to give them access to to the inner workings of the heart. You're not going to let them be able to play the emotional strings of your heart.

00:18:59:05 - 00:19:30:04

Unknown

But are you going to give them access to wisdom you have inside of your business? Yeah, of course, because it's going to help them. Right? And you know that everything is always coming back to you in some way, shape or form. So you're giving what you want to receive eventually. So I hope that understanding these categories helps you live a lot more joy filled life, because, you know, when you're having a lot of joy in your life, when you're having the most fun ever, that's really when you get to make a lot of money.

00:19:30:07 - 00:19:49:16

Unknown

I just posted a video about this because it's like, the more joy you have in your life, the more you're able to laugh, the more you're able to receive money because your nervous system is calm and safe. But if you're constantly in a fence and you're mad about everything that people are doing around you, your nervous system is in fight or flight and it's not able to receive anymore.

00:19:49:16 - 00:20:12:13

Unknown

It's like in a standstill. It's stuck. So we want to always like try to be getting back to reset and helping our nervous system feel safe and calm to receive. So I hope you enjoyed this episode. Comment below. Any questions you have any stories that are fascinating that I'd love to hear? Or DM me with them? Because I always love hearing stories around this type of stuff.

00:20:12:16 - 00:20:15:16

Unknown

All right, love you.