Foreign.

Welcome to the Own youn Choices on youn Life podcast.

I know you are here wanting to change and rewrite your story.

You are desiring to step into the impact that you know you were here to create.

I am here to guide you with the proven tools and strategies used by myself and our speakers

to support you in taking radical responsibility in your life and learning how

to own your choices to change your story.

My name is Marcia Van Winesburg.

I am a storytelling business coach,

master NLP trainer, speaker, podcaster and seven times published author.

My clients have found freedom and purpose from overcoming their shame stories and learning

how to share them with the world.

I am so grateful you are here.

Let's get started.

Foreign.

Welcome back to the show.

Today I'm speaking with Tom Lenoble and Tom,

who has an incredible story that he dives into from everything from leading in boardrooms and

fighting for his life in hospital rooms, surviving two life threatening illnesses from

shaping growth at Facebook,

Meta, Walmart, Palm,

mci, Verizon, to guiding startups he's mastered through living through change.

He's the founder of the Tom Lenoble brand and the Opening Pathways podcast.

Today he is the CEO of the Academy for Coaching Excellence and a leadership coach

with the Miller center for Global Impact at Santa Clara University.

A very in demand speaker, an incredible speaker, a personal coach and a workshop

leader,

Tom uses his experience and insights to serve others.

A committed philanthropist, he champions youth, women, education and underserved

communities as he serves on numerous nonprofit boards.

He just released his new book,

My Life in Business Suits, Hospital Gowns and High Heels, releasing just this past November.

He shares unflinching lessons on risk,

resiliency and reinvention.

With his candor and wit, he guides others to lead boldly, live fully,

and love fiercely.

A reminder that no matter the storms you face,

resilience is possible and reinvention is always within reach.

We had such a beautiful conversation talking about terrible gifts and I'm going to leave it

at that because his story,

his message can reach so many people and I'm so grateful that our paths crossed to be able

to share his story.

Welcome to the show today, Tom.

I cannot wait to dive into this conversation

with you.

I am so excited to be with you, Marcia.

I've been really looking forward to our time together.

So I love when, I mean we get pitched probably honestly 20, 30 times a week.

And so I'm very selective about who I bring on because I want it to match what we talk about

in the show and what those stories are.

You were an absolute no brainer.

When I read it, I was like, oh yeah, for sure,

absolutely.

So can you start with sharing a little bit about who you are and then we're going to dive

into you and your story.

Sure, sure.

I'd love to give your viewers, I call it my

thumbnail.

So I like to say I retired, being retired to

be inspired.

I had this great corporate career.

I was a led customer service at mci, the

company that broke up all the Bell companies for long distance.

I was the head of customer service in Walmart.com's early days.

I ran global service operations for Palm, the Palm Pilot Trio, people that are part of hp.

I was sitting at my desk one day and the phone rang and it was a recruiter from a little

company called Facebook.

And Facebook was still in colleges.

I had no idea what it was, said, I have my

dream job, thank you, goodbye.

And a buddy called me and said I referred you to Facebook.

He didn't even talk to them.

And I said, well, what's Facebook?

Long story short, and it's a good story,

I interviewed with Mark Zuckerberg when he was 19 and ultimately ended up going to customer,

going to Facebook and setting up all their customer operations and a bunch of other stuff

there.

Then I was the chief support officer at a company that's now the backbone of the geek

squad,

Remote support worked at a dating site that Match.com bought and I managed the merger.

I was sent in by boards and as the COO and VP of HR was some perceived problem they had at

their startup that for me to fix, which was never the problem.

And then I fell in love, got married and traveled the world.

But I knew I had more wisdom to share and something to give to people.

And so today I'm a coach,

I'm a professional speaker,

I'm an author of a new book, My Life in Business suit, hospital gowns and high heels.

I have my own podcast, opening pathways.

And I'm the CEO of the Academy for Coaching Excellence, which is a 20 year old ICF

certified coaching academy where we train coaches around the world.

But finally, and most importantly, I do it all because I'm a philanthropist and I do all what

I do to feed my philanthropy,

which is for underserved communities,

youth in the arts, first gen students, today's women's issues and other things that I'm

passionate about.

But one final thing I should share before we jump in.

Through all that,

I've had two life threatening illnesses.

The first one I was told was terminal.

I've lived with Metastatic cancer for the last 13 years.

And I'm still here.

Okay. So I'm so glad you went there at the end because my message was gonna be,

okay.

So, Tom, you're killing it at life, everything

is smooth and easy,

and you don't have any challenges.

And we all know that's not true, right?

Like, the highlight reel.

Your highlight reel's pretty big.

It's pretty.

Which is awesome.

Congrats on that.

I can't even imagine sitting with Mark

Zuckerberg when he was 19.

What year was that?

2005, I think.

So 20 years.

Like, really thinking of 20 years ago.

With Facebook, you know, it's great.

I left there, and when I left, I told Mark, I want to see you in 10 years, when this is 10

years old.

And he said, why you're leaving?

So I just want to see what you're all about and what you're doing.

I forgot all about it.

And I want you to know I was sitting at my desk one day, ten years later, and a Facebook

message popped up, said,

do you still want to have lunch?

Oh, my gosh.

Are you serious?

I asked myself the question, do I want to have lunch with the fifth richest man

in the world at the time,

and I said, heck, yeah, I want to have lunch with the fifth richest man in the world.

So, boy, was that an experience.

We got back together, was supposed to be 30

minutes.

We were together about 40 or 45 and 20's

coming up.

We said we'd do it again.

Who knows? A lot has changed in his world.

So, yeah.

Oh, wow.

That's fascinating.

So thank you for going also into, like.

Like I said, that's a very big highlight reel.

And the challenges are also what shaped you into who you are today.

So can you share a little bit about, like, so 13 years, you just said, with metastatic

cancer?

Yes, I. Through everything I told you of that corporate career, for the majority

of it, I was sick.

And no one knows that.

They're getting ready to find out if they touch my book, but they didn't know that I, in

the background of all of that, I was sick.

And it's what's really driven me a huge part of what I do today, because I've learned a

tremendous amount about risk,

resilience, and reinvention.

I've had so much radiation, Marcia, that I glow in the dark.

I could be your nightlight.

You could just put me in a corner and I'd

light up the room for you.

But through some of these experiences,

it's challenged me to take risks.

It's challenged me to have resilience, which I define as not just getting back up,

but how do we grow from what's happened to us and then how do we reinvent ourselves when we

need to?

You know, some people tell me their life is moving along like this and I'm like, you know,

that sounds like a flat line.

I see life as a series of ups and downs.

However, I see the downs as these opportunities where we get to learn and grow

and find new things that we're going to focus on.

The ups are where we get to express them and put them out in the world, knowing there's

likely another little cycle coming soon.

See, that is, that's really powerful.

I want to know how if for somebody listening, saying okay on the low, downhill,

how do I find a way to keep going? Because I do find that you either draw into

the camp of okay, this is teaching me something.

I don't always like this is happening for me because I feel like that is a bit of a.

Can be a bit of a toxic.

I don't like it.

And I know that some people, that triggers people, but I do believe everything is

teaching us something and it can teach us something.

But how do you find the way to shift the mindset when you're in the low, that this is

teaching me something so that you can come back up?

How do you find that?

Well, I love what you just said because so many times we hear people in the

medical field say you failed a medication or the medication didn't work on you, the

medication failed, you didn't thank,

and it was the medication.

But to answer your specific question,

I think that I work with a lot of people.

A lot of my clients, I realize,

are living in the past of what happened.

There are no do overs.

If the past has something to teach you,

by all means, spend a little time there.

But come here to the present where the magic is.

So when you ask that question to me, when I reflect on it,

what I do,

I can't say.

This is for everyone.

And I'm not taking away at all from the challenges of illness.

Trust me, I know them.

But when it happens,

I look at my watch,

Tom, you've got 30 minutes.

Stomp your feet, cry, yell,

do whatever you want to do.

Because the only thing that can happen now is

to move forward.

This is my reality.

And then I start the process of moving forward.

Not everyone's going to be able to do it like that, but that mindset of I'm here,

this is my reality.

Let me feel it and experience.

And now what do I do with it?

I was on a podcast with a woman the other day,

so moved by it,

she went in for a surgery, ended up with mrsa, a simple surgery, ended up with the MRSA

infection,

lost her leg.

Oh,

she was like an Olympic type person.

What am I going to do with my life? She asked herself.

Well, it turns out she didn't like the canes and the walking stick she found.

She made her own acrylic cane in her own oven,

used a wine bottle to form the handle.

Today she has a worldwide business of these gorgeous walking sticks and canes for people.

So while not in the moment, it may happen later.

But how do we take these things and bring them into something that we can use for ourselves

to move forward?

It doesn't shift that they're happening.

It doesn't shift the experience.

I want to tell you, Marsha, what I call them.

I call them terrible gifts.

Oh, I love that.

Yes. We have these things in life that are terrible.

We lose somebody we love, we lose a pet,

a relationship ends, we lose our job, we get sick.

It's terrible.

Nobody would sign up for it.

No. But if you're open and we hear countless stories of it, whether it's a week, a month, a

year, or 10 years,

if you allow it to happen,

a gift will come from it.

Something will change in your life.

You and I know about this.

Something will change in your life.

This is why I call them terrible gifts.

So if we can remember that the past doesn't shift,

there are no do overs.

Have some experience,

learn what you can from it.

But get here right now,

not too far in the future.

Except having food in the refrigerator, making sure the kids are cared for.

There's gas in the car, the lights are on,

because you're going to miss what I love to say.

A butterfly flying by or a rainbow while you're hanging out.

And what happened to you,

wow, that.

Is so powerful and there's so much there.

And I love how you have reframed that.

Like, I mean, you know, coaching.

You understand how our subconscious mind works and,

you know, our thoughts are only ever replaying the past or creating the future.

Like we can't do both at the same time.

And it's amazing to me, I know I've been there and it happens, but we can get so stuck in a

past story that were ruminating and ruminating and ruminating on it.

And you know, I had a client recently where her reaction, her body's reaction was almost

like it's happening right now.

And I had to stop her.

And actually I was with her in person to stop her and actually grab her arms and say like,

it's, it happened.

It's not happening.

It's not here right now.

You actually survived it.

It was a decade ago, but your subconscious

mind does not know that it's in the past.

And so how can we come back to the present?

And it actually almost jarred her when she was like, what, what happened?

And I'm like, your body doesn't understand,

like, whatever thought you feed is what lives and thrives.

And so I love that coming back to the present because I can ping pong between what happened

and oh my God, what's going to happen and forget to come back to the present where all

of our power is know.

Here's what I love about the next step that happens because what you're saying

is true.

And not only that, when we spend time there,

that will make us sick.

But here's what I love is when I work with people and what they're challenged with today,

they forget about the evidence of what they survived.

Right? Yes, we all have this evidence of what we've

survived and what we've accomplished in our life.

And in the current crisis of the day, the crisis du jour, as I call it,

we forget what we've been through, what we've achieved, and we get so involved in it that we

don't bring that evidence with us to remind ourselves here in the present.

Able to do before.

Yes, it may feel new, yes, it may feel scary.

Yes, we may feel we're vulnerable,

but we have had things happen to us before that will inform us that we can do this again.

Oh, I love that you said that.

I talk a lot about this with my own clients

and myself.

Is stacking wins, right?

Take a minute to stack wins.

Like we all have so much evidence.

We literally have evidence that we walk through some of the hardest days we have ever,

ever thought we never thought we would and we did.

And so that's evidence.

And that's.

Those are wins.

And it's important to look at them.

And I'm listening to you.

I'm gonna ask you a hard question.

Well, I think it's hard.

Maybe it's not hard as you are sitting here

today and sharing such like openness and vulnerability about your experience and your

stories.

And you published your book and you put a lot of your story out there and you lived with

metastatic cancer for 13 years and nobody knew what changed for you to come from the kind of

corporate world of like we don't share, we don't talk about things,

to who you are today, to saying oh no, we're sharing it all and we're telling it like what

happened in that time period.

Well, for one thing, I think it's time for us to shift that whole idea that we

don't do that in the corporate world.

In fact, I think Gen Z, the zoomers, I love

working with different generations, I've had the opportunity and I work with a number of

zoomers today,

are going to demand that we change.

And we can fight all we want, but we're going

to be brought into it because we need to acknowledge that we have real lives in the

corporate world.

We're real human beings.

We need to be thoughtful of our mental health,

how we take care of ourselves,

where we work, how we work.

But for me personally, what happened is this book that I have is really about for the

reader.

It's a memoir that's really crosses into self

help.

Is that who we are today is the some parts of who we've been.

In fact, without one of those parts,

we would not be who we are today.

So no matter how outrageous, how private,

how much we might think someone might not understand even how we feel shame about it,

to own it and make you bring it into who you are today is very liberating and freeing

because it's who you are, it's what got you to where you are.

The icing on the cake, even the sprinkles,

is you're going to help someone else.

You're going to be of service to someone else

in the process because then they realize those parts are okay too.

I love that you went there.

I love that you said that.

I do believe as we talk about finding some level of gratitude, that everything is

teaching us something.

Our past is shaping us into who we are.

I often share that.

You know, I was a parent who dealt with teen

substance abuse.

We I've been my whole life has been surrounded

around mental health and addiction and it's like that is not a fun camp that I don't know

where I signed up for it, but I did.

This has been my journey.

And yet I also know I wouldn't be doing anything I do today if I hadn't experienced

what I have.

And I couldn't imagine that.

Like I couldn't imagine not doing the work that I get to do today.

So I guess it is a terrible gift when.

Terrible gift.

You just got it.

I love that you got it.

You got A terrible gift.

And you see how you framed it of something you would never want, something you would never

want to delve into.

We all get those things.

If we don't, we're not living or relying.

And look at the gift you got from it.

This is what life is about.

It really is.

And I do believe that we are.

In a time,

I feel like we are normalizing, having difficult conversations.

You know, this podcast started in 2017, and I said I wanted to normalize, talking about

difficult stories.

If you could have heard the backlash of how

crazy I was to think about who's going to get on and share and talk about difficult stories.

Nobody does that.

I'm like, well, maybe it's time we change the

narrative.

And maybe we do that.

And as I laugh, I think we released episode

930 something today.

Amazing. Congratulations.

You know, I think people really want to.

And I think what you're doing in the work that you're doing of holding this space is there

are other people that see it, experience it,

and maybe just their little toes willing to step in,

but something shifts,

and it's a gift to them.

It is a gift.

It is a gift.

Thank you.

I just.

I'm so grateful that you're here.

I heard you speak about.

As we spoke in the beginning, you and I were, like, kind of not stalking, but sneaking and

looking into each other even more so that we can understand.

You had some content on Instagram that I was that.

I just love the frame of how you shared it.

And it's the concept of agitation.

And I think this is really important because most people feel, again, like you talked about

flat lying, that it's supposed to be just smooth all the time.

And we know that's not true.

Like, it's.

It's wild that we actually expect it and want

it because it never happens.

It's just not possible.

But you speak about agitation.

I think it's so powerful, the message in

there.

Can you just share a little bit of that

concept?

I can.

It's not only agitation.

It's agitation.

It's fear.

It's all these things that have been labeled as being negative.

Well, anything in its excess can be negative.

Right?

Right.

I think there's signals.

There are things that are being delivered to us that are saying, pay attention,

notice they actually could be a catalyst for your next great thing.

Something that you're fearful of, agitated by, or fear of.

Now, granted, if a tiger's getting ready to jump on you,

you want to be a little smarter.

If you wake up and you were in a fog and

you're driving on the wrong side of the road, get back in your lane.

But these other things that happen and we start feeling these emotions that have been

labeled so negatively.

All I'm asking is to be open of what is this trying to show me,

teach me,

open me to where is it coming from?

Where in my body am I feeling it?

What is its message?

And explore it as opposed to avoiding it.

Embrace it instead of trying to push it away.

And take a look under the COVID and say,

have you got something you're trying to share with me and teach me about what I'm feeling

right now?

I love that.

I think that that is very introspective

curiosity, asking more questions.

Right? Our subconscious mind loves questions.

And if we can frame things as questions, we start searching for answers.

When we use those statements like the blanket statement,

it's like that's a very slippery slope and easy trap to fall into victim.

Right? Like why is this happening to me instead of

what is this teaching me? It's just a completely different frame.

I'm curious as somebody who does face a terminal type illness, as they would call it,

every single day,

and you might have already shared it, but I really want to go back to this piece.

How do you speak to yourself every day?

What do you do differently? Knowing like this is just forever happening in

the background.

How do you set yourself up for success?

Oh, that's a good question.

And I'm going to bring it to one thing because

there's probably more than one, but I'm going to bring it to the one that I think is the

most powerful for me and it's gratitude.

I have a gratitude practice that I practice every night before I go to sleep.

When I wake up in the morning, one of the first things I do is express gratitude that I

woke up because I woke up today.

Some people didn't.

I take it into.

I have bags that I parse of pills.

I do a 20 to 25 days at a time, morning and evening,

more pills than I can count.

I had this funny experience day before

yesterday.

One of those bags fell out of my pocket.

Cuz opening all those bottles every day is

unreasonable, right?

Right.

So I had one of them fall out of my pocket.

I couldn't find it.

Well, I found it in the garage and I had run

over it with the car and I picked up the bag and I looked at it and I had to laugh because

my supplements that are in it,

some of them were crushed.

The pharmaceutical meds that I had to take

were indestructible.

And it reminded me that while my first thing was, oh, my God, what are they made out of

that they didn't crush under a tire,

what reminded me is gratitude.

I took that metaphor of what I was looking at in that bag back to me and that I'm here.

I am still here partly because of these medications.

And I thought about gratitude, about it.

And you know, Marcia, I have to share this with you because it's so important right here.

I get asked when I say I'm still here by people.

People will say, why do you think you're still here?

Now, I want to be fair.

I have had access to the best medical care.

I've had access to treatment.

My skin color gives me privilege to get things for what.

What's gone on with me.

But at the end of the day, I know something that's true.

I believed I could.

And have you always had that thought, that belief like, that you would.

Was there ever a time when you didn't have it there?

I think has been a glimmer of it that got through my life experience,

through what I happen to believe was.

We'll just call it a calling of some sort,

that this is something you're supposed to express as who you are, as this being that

you've come to inhabitate in this lifetime.

And if you read my book, you'll see I grew up some very humble beginnings.

I grew up in a shack, we actually called it that.

We didn't have hot water.

We didn't have a refrigerator.

My dad brought home ice every day.

I didn't realize that we had anything wrong, that we were a little bit different than other

people till I went to school.

And I remember about five, not in these words,

thinking,

I don't think I belong here.

And.

But there's always been a sense of me through even being bullied and challenges that I've

had of there's something to keep going.

Maybe not as clearly as I think about it today.

And then I think illness has certainly been one of those things.

Some of the things that I've overcome in my life that allow me to come from that

perspective.

But the biggest part is sharing it with others.

There's hope, there's possibility.

It's tangible.

I really am still here.

I am clear I'm not going to be here forever.

I get that that's one thing this will do to you, is get you in touch with your mortality.

But what I know to be true is whatever time I have here,

I'm just Not ready to go sit in the lawn chair and watch the waves break.

I've got things to do.

And this is it.

This is what that was meant.

So it's been something that is evolved and

grown, like many things do that.

I think that when we really find out who we

are,

what we came here to do,

and then we work towards doing it.

Ah,

it is.

I wish that for everyone.

I really do like.

And I do think that we don't necessarily get

in touch with what that big calling, that purpose is until the floor comes out,

sometimes like the rug comes out.

Until we're in a space of like, God, I feel so lost.

I don't know what to do.

I feel like again, if it's always in this flatline, straight line position,

we don't question a lot of things.

We don't think, you know, we're not having

those moments.

But when things really fall apart,

I feel like we ask deeper questions.

The terrible gift.

The terrible gift.

I gonna have to keep using that because I

think that is fantastic.

Not that we want it, but we all have it.

We all have a terrible gift.

If you're living what's really different about the terrible gift, it doesn't

change it from being terrible.

No.

What am I going to do with it?

Right, right.

It's always, I would say, what am.

I going to do with it?

Yeah. It doesn't matter what happened to you.

It matters what you choose to do with what happens.

Yes,

the keynote.

I do.

In fact, I'm probably going to have to write a book about it,

about the philanthropic mindset.

You know, I say to people that I'm a philanthropist.

And this is what I hear from so many people.

Marcia.

When I have money, Tom, I want to be a philanthropist too.

What I want people to understand is a philanthropic mindset isn't about a gala,

about having your name on a building.

Your smile,

a simple hello is a philanthropic gesture.

Never forget, I tell nonprofits I work with that your thousand dollar donation or four

quarters come from the same spirit,

the same wealth,

the same gift from the person that's giving it.

You know, we all, we talk about time, talent and treasure.

These are all philanthropic gestures.

We may give our time,

we may give our talent, we may make the best deviled eggs or potato salad around.

Or we may be able to clean a house better than anybody else.

Or, yes, we may have our treasure and your treasure, no matter how small, trust me in

being willing to give.

You'll find something very special about it.

But how we shift thinking about this Idea of philanthropy into a philanthropic mindset of

what we can do for others.

Here's the key.

It only works when you do it without expectation.

I love that you went there.

I often talk in a sense that, you know, I have definitely given,

whether it is money,

financial,

doing things that not everybody ever sees.

Like there's no way I would have got to here without some of the gifts that people gave.

Not a chance, not absolutely a chance.

I had two of the most life changing events

that I went to 10 years ago.

A complete stranger gifted me tickets to both of them, like out of nowhere.

And so I was like, I'm gonna go and show up and be in the full expression of myself.

They changed my whole life.

And so there are times now that I will give in ways that most people don't see.

And I'm not saying that as a praise, I just there's ways to do it.

I will give somebody access to something.

I will give a program to somebody.

I will give a coaching call.

And what you said it so clearly.

If you can't give without releasing an expectation of expecting something in return,

don't do it.

Because it's not the energy that it comes

from.

And I often just think of it like I send it out there, it will go where it goes.

And I've often said to people, like, I would not be where I am today without people.

There's no way it wouldn't have happened.

And promise me that sometime in your life

you'll pay it forward too.

Because I just think that even silently we can be doing these things that can help other

people.

We don't need to be like having an expectation

or having this big banner of look at what I did.

Absolutely.

It's, you know, I love to say it's like

planting trees.

You'll never see the shade of, oh, beautiful.

Or just somebody's quote.

But I probably should figure out who it is so

I can give them credit.

But like one program I work with, and by the way, all of my philanthropy was anonymous

until about a year ago.

95% of it I did anonymously and my book.

And I'm out in the open if I'm spilling the beans about everything.

But I give to a nonprofit here in the city.

I also work help them and their executive

team.

But they are all about first gen students.

So these are students that are doing very,

very, very well in high school.

They're excelling.

They don't know if the lights are going to be on when they get home.

Well, I believe they have and Deserve a right to go to school just as much as the rest of

us.

But more importantly, I think we deserve the

right to have them go to school for what may come from them.

I will never meet these people.

I trust that I've made a ripple effect in that family.

First one to ever go to school.

And I know in my heart that one day they will remember how it all happened and they will

give back.

I have zero expectation.

Yeah, it's.

That's the changer.

That is.

That is definitely the changer.

Wow.

I love everything that you're sharing.

You can hear your heart.

Like, you can literally hear your heart and

how important it is for you.

I want you to share a little bit about your book,

the title,

and I want to kind of dive into what was it like when you made the decision to share more

parts of your story that people didn't know about.

You know, I had this funny experience the other day.

My best friend of 48 years called me and said the book had launched.

It was the day after.

And she said, how are you feeling about

telling all these secrets?

And I said, you know, this call's a little late.

You probably should have asked me that a couple months ago.

Right? We're a little late in the game.

Right now in the world.

Right, Right.

So kind of funny, right?

But the book is My Life in Business Suits.

You heard about that.

Hospital gowns.

You can imagine what that is.

And high heels.

Well,

you know, you have to read the book if you want to know about the high heels, but trust

me,

it's part of when I shared with you who I am today.

And all the parts that I became, no matter how outrageous or I might feel, no one would ever

understand,

are part of who I am today.

And I believe we all have those parts.

And.

But I'd love for your viewers to check out the

book because it really is something I did for the reader.

It's taking events that happened in my life and hoping, hopefully people see how these

things happen through things that we do that are in a public bring us money to these

terrible gifts that happen in life.

So some of the things that happen in our life that are a little outrageous, a little out of

control,

but how they actually all weave together to make you who you are today and who you have

become.

That's beautiful.

That is beautiful.

And so it just came out.

Only I know this episode will air later.

When did it release and where can you get it?

It came out on November 4th.

You can get it on Amazon.

All you have to do is Search my name, Tom Lenoble.

You don't even have to remember the title and it'll pop up for you.

And I don't know when this is gonna release, but the Audible book is on sale for 99 cents

right now.

So I don't know what it'll be when you see

this, viewers, but it's in my own voice, which was quite an experience.

And there's a hardback, a paperback, the Audible version, and an ebook, whichever one

suits you.

And I encourage you to read it and be inspired

by it.

I'd love to hear from you what you thought,

too.

Oh, amazing.

I can't wait to read it.

And if you do read it, listen to it, whatever that is, please leave a rating and review

because it really does help the book.

We ask all the time, but I just want to ask for you and share that.

Thank you so much.

Does help.

Yes.

That means so much that you.

You asked that.

I really appreciate it.

You know, it was a great experience.

I encourage people to think about writing a book about their life.

The only difference between people who are do or don't is that they did it.

And,

you know, it's quite a cathartic experience.

You have to see the things that happened in your life and the patterns that brought you to

where you are today.

And I encourage people to think about that experience, even if they don't do anything

with it, just to be able to capture it and remember some of the things and the events

that they have been through and some of the challenges, some of the terrible gifts they've

had and how they turned out for them.

Yeah, I couldn't agree more.

I do think that, you know, writing a book is

something that it'll stretch you in ways that you could have never imagined.

And I think the numbers.

I actually looked it up recently because we do

help people with writing and publishing, and I wanted to know the number.

And I think 82% of people want to write a book, and less than 1% actually do.

Yes. Yeah. And here's what's magnificent about it.

And people go, okay, that's not real.

But it is.

You can write three to five pages a day, and in three months you're going to have a book.

Yeah, it's really just carving out the time.

I suggest you put it on your calendar.

You make a space for it just like anything

else you do in your life, and that's what you focus on and allow it just to come.

And don't try and put it in order, just free form your thoughts and then put them in order

later.

It's one of the tips I would offer and it's

can be very motivating and you just might be of service to someone in the process.

And we all know that's where a lot of the purpose comes from.

A lot of the,

the reach and the gift you get to take those terrible gifts and use them.

It has brought some of the best people into my life, like literally the best people.

And it helped me heal on ways I didn't know I needed.

It really did help me to shift that.

So I know it's an incredible process.

Now you also coach others, right? Is this.

Yeah. So tell us about that.

I do.

I not only coach people.

I'm the CEO of a coaching academy that's been around for 22 years.

And we use something called an ontological model.

And I don't want everybody to think I'm getting woo woo on them.

We all know the study of psychology is about your mind, your dreams, your thoughts,

cosmology about the world above us.

Well, ontology is just as old and been around.

I encourage you to look it up.

But it's, it's the study of being.

So in my work, what I'm interested in and what we do at the academy is how you're being and

how that's helping you reach your goals and dreams, how you're discovering what you came

here to do.

That's beautiful.

And so 20 years it's been an academy that you

have been coaching others?

Well, I took the curriculum before there was ever coaching back in the late 90s

with the founder,

a psychologist, Maria Nemeth, who's written a number of books and created this whole model

that turned into the academy.

Coaching is now an $18 billion industry.

Atomy's have been around for 22 years and I've always been in connection with Maria.

And through my career we reconnected and it turned out this way that I'm now the CEO of it

which I want to share people something about dreams,

about manifestation.

People say, nah, you can't manifest things well,

manifestation.

The key is putting something out there,

doing the work,

putting something out there, doing the work,

letting go of what it looks like and the timing.

I had a dream when I took this first course with her back in the late 90s.

One of the three times I had been given six months to live, I took this course.

Here I am the CEO of this academy.

I had a dream to work with this woman one day.

Here I am 28 years or whatever it is.

Later and doing that,

you know, I had this great experience.

I was working on a podcast with some Gen Z

zoomers in la and what a beautiful day that was.

I spent with them.

And it's a great podcast to watch.

And I got in an Uber to come back and Uber

driver said, what have you been doing? And so I told him, and somehow we got on

manifestation.

And he said, you know, I've given up on manifestation.

And I said, what do you mean you've given up on manifestation?

What happened? He goes, I wanted to manifest this car.

Well, I realize I'm sitting in a brand new car.

So I said to him, you wanted to manifest a new car?

Well, what is this car? Oh, it's my new car.

And I said, well, where's your old car? I said, my.

He said, my old car I rent out to other Uber drivers.

I said, so you're making money off the old car and you're sitting in a new car,

but you're unhappy about manifesting a new car?

What am I missing?

Well, I didn't get the car I wanted.

Well, you can imagine what happened with me in that conversation.

Let me get this straight.

You are manifesting a new car.

You're sitting in a new car, you're old car is making you money and you don't believe in

manifestation?

What if this car you're sitting in is the stepping stone to that car you really wanted?

We had this discussion about the expectation of what it looks like and timing in the

manifestation process.

So hopefully that gives your viewers just a little view of when we look at these things

that we want in our life and we put all these boundaries around them and all these things of

when they have to happen and what they have to look like.

That's not how you manifest.

Mm, mm.

It is not.

I love that story.

I was even one of those people for the longest

time thinking like, okay, manifestations.

I was a very sciency person.

Was just like, really?

And the one thing I do understand now is like, we're actually all great at manifesting.

It's just that we're manifesting what we don't want.

Cause that's what we think about and talk about every day.

Exactly.

Yeah.

Back to my do overs and living in the past.

Yeah, that's what you're thinking about.

You're drawing it to you.

Oh yeah, you draw it to you.

It's what you see.

You're not even open for any other alternative because you've already decided that this is

what it looks like.

And so I'm so particular when it comes to language.

And I mean, listen, I still screw up too, but when it comes to language, and if I hear my

clients, I hear my friends, I hear my family say things, I'm like,

let's start over.

And is that what you actually want? Well, no, it's not what I want.

Well, it must be, because that's what you keep saying.

And all of a sudden, like, that's what we see and we really like understanding how the mind

works.

We're only seeing a fraction of what's available.

Like only like 0.0004% of what's available.

So when I feel sometimes like I don't know the answer, I will stop and say, okay, well, I'm

only seeing 0.0004% of what's around me.

So what if the answer is right there? I just have to start to ask different

questions and it just flips it.

Well, thoughts become your reality.

You know, I. I'm human too.

I had the other day the experience this book

launched.

And the next day, you know, I felt like I'd

been on this roller coaster and all of a sudden the book launched.

And the next day it felt like if somebody just stopped the roller coaster and said, we

changed our mind.

Yeah.

And I was feeling these odd feelings and I started,

you know, thinking about it and I could feel myself, my energy,

right.

And I caught myself of my thoughts are

generating how I'm feeling.

This is a normal feeling.

It happens if you're,

you know,

so many things in life where the school play for your kid and it's over and you've been

working, working, or the graduation or something you're doing on your house and a

renovating a room or something.

When it's over, it's sort of like you're sitting and you're happy about it, but it's

like, okay, well, you know, well,

we can fall into that trap of letting those thoughts create our reality.

The thing is to catch them and realize we're living in the past when we're thinking those

thoughts and bring ourselves back to the present.

You know, I want to share with your viewers my favorite quote by Maya Angelou.

It's what I live by.

It's the first page of my book.

Every storm runs out of rain.

Oh,

every storm that's happening to you or happened in your life, never forget.

Just like in reality, the sun is still shining behind the storm.

The clouds will go away, the rain will stop.

What it creates, that rain is fertile ground.

My question for you,

what Are you gonna plant.

Just. I'm not gonna drop my mic, but that's the moment.

That was really good.

Thank you for sharing that quote.

God, I know so many of your quotes and I do not think I've heard that one before.

So thank you for sharing that.

I. Honestly, Tom, you are a wealth of knowledge and heart.

You can just feel it as you speak.

So thank you for sharing everything that you

have today because I know it will speak to so many people.

I can't wait to listen to your book because I'm such an audible and especially knowing

that you did the audio for it.

And I want to know where can people reach you, find you, learn more about you?

The easiest place is my website,

tom.lenoble.com I'm so on all the socials, LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, you can find me

there.

But one of the easiest places is tom lenoble.com.

my email address is resilienceom.lenoble.com.

i'd love to hear from you.

Oh, of course.

That's your email address.

I love that.

I absolutely love that.

I have one more question for you and I love to ask this question to all of my guests and it

is, what lesson in life are you most grateful for?

The lesson in life that I am most grateful for is the power, the reward, the

gifts of being of service to others.

That's beautiful.

That is absolutely beautiful.

It was an honor to have this conversation with you.

I cannot wait to stay connected.

Thank you so much, Tom.

It was a delight.

Marcia, thanks to you and your viewers.

It was great to be with you.

Thank you so much for tuning in to another episode of Own youn Choices, Own youn

Life.

If you love this episode, I invite you to tag

me on social media with your takeaways or share it with a friend.

Please.

If you Feel called, take 30 seconds to leave a five star review and I will be

forever grateful.

Until next time, remember, when you own your

choices, you truly own your life.