I'm living inside of this perfectly wonderful world.

It was literally a case where I was feeling them cut me open, feeling them

reaching inside me, working inside me.

Feeling like being gutted in a dark alley, because that literally

was what I thought was, this is what it feels like to be stabbed.

Join Deborah E., multi-award-winning singer, podcaster, and

speaker, who proves that being diagnosed with a life-changing illness as a child,

along with countless hospitalizations, in a family who told everyone should be dead

before she reached puberty does not have to stand in the way of life well-lived.

The DiabeticReal podcast and the content of its websites are

presented solely for educational purposes and the views and opinions

expressed by guests are theirs alone.

They do not necessarily reflect that of the host of the podcast.

The content is not intended to substitute for professional medical diagnosis

advice or treatment ongoing or otherwise.

Be sure to always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified

healthcare provider with any questions regarding your healthcare.

Okay, this is Deborah and we are here in DiabeticReal

and this episode is a little bit of a continuation of the last one.

In the last episode, we were talking about a rural town and it wasn't, you

know, in all fairness, it wasn't really about the rural, it was, but it wasn't.

It was about the likelihood of finding doctors or medical staff

who tend to think that they may.

Know everything.

And you're going to find that in big cities too, but where you're

going to run into problems as far as probability and statistics to be

able to get the help that you need.

In those small towns, because of fewer people, and kind of the big head, the

egotism, and the egotistical behavior, saying, I know everything, and you

don't know anything, and where that runs into problem, to put simply, the

last episode we were talking about that poor four year old that did not need

to lose his precious little life from falling And, between the bleachers.

But I'm not going to repeat everything that was in that episode.

If you want to hear the story, you can listen to the

previous episode, episode six.

So continuing with that, we're still in the same small town, the same challenges

as far as the knowledge of the medical record of my radical, my, yes, I can

talk, my medical record in particular.

And It wasn't the same doctor.

It was actually a different doctor, and that's what I mean.

You have that probability of running into this situation in the smaller

town because there's fewer people, but that's a different discussion as

far as, I used to teach graduate level statistics, so that's a different

discussion as far as the probability and the statistics and so forth.

But I had this doctor that I was seeing and The, he happened to be a gynecologist

and he had prescribed birth control because the idea was it, there's a

little bit of concern as far as how many pregnancies and was that going to

cause problems as far as the diabetes.

So just to be safe, I was on birth control so that I wouldn't get pregnant

again and have too many pregnancies that caused issues and I lose my life.

It would, it was better to be a mother and be there for my children.

So I called up the doctor and I said, you know, something.

It's not right.

This birth control is not working.

I can just feel it.

And I know there's women out there, you know, if you're, if you're hearing this, I

don't know how to explain it, but we know our bodies, and We can just tell, if it's

not working, if a woman says the birth control is not working and they can, they

can feel it, then that doesn't mean that you can always tell if it's not working.

So any of you women out there, if you didn't sense that the birth control

pills were not working, that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you.

I'm just saying that if you did sense it, you probably really are.

So doctors, listen to women when they're saying that, and test, and you know,

listen to what they're saying, because we tend to be able to kind of tune into

our bodies, gynecologically speaking.

So anyway, I called the doctor, and he treated me like I was a complete idiot.

And he said, Oh, you don't know anything.

You don't know what you're talking about.

I was like, Well, I think I do.

But if you know, all I was asking for was a doctor's appointment.

We just let me just come in, because I was pretty sure I needed to have

birth control pills that were just a little bit stronger, because I

didn't think these are working.

And rather than waiting until that time a month to make

sure that that we could test.

that it was working.

I thought I should go see the doctor, but he didn't want to see me.

He would rather call me an idiot over the phone.

Okay, so three weeks later, I found out I was pregnant.

Pregnant with my youngest child.

So this isn't the first pregnancy.

We'll get to that story in the future, in the next podcast, actually.

This is my second pregnancy.

So yes, I did know what I was talking about.

And, uh, The doctor, like I said, preferred to just call me an idiot.

And I called up the doctor and he would not take my calls.

He Never took my calls thereafter.

So I don't know if he was just too embarrassed or what.

But at that point we packed up, moved out of Dodge, so to speak,

and moved to Minneapolis and St.

Paul where there were doctors that could handle my high risk pregnancy.

It was, of course, being diabetic and pregnant.

We'd already been through this once before with, with the previous pregnancy with me.

We knew that it was high risk.

By the mere fact that I was, was diabetic, type 1 diabetic.

And you'll hear about that pregnancy in the next, next two episodes.

So, yes, we knew that we needed to be where we could get the, uh,

medical treatment that was needed.

So.

And also, I, I called the doctor.

Now, you'll hear about, you'll hear about that doctor in the very

next episode, podcast episode.

And, uh, we had so much fun with that doctor.

And of course, I'm being facetious, but.

He, uh, he didn't want to deal with me, and, uh, so he actually,

the second time around, he was my doctor for the baby, which is good.

So he was handling all the decisions that related to the pregnancy, which is good.

But he actually assigned me to a doctor who is an endocrinologist, which of

course is the type of doctor that works with diabetics, but also a pediatrician.

So this was like the perfect combination.

And, of course, this type of doctor would also be great with, for instance, if a

child was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.

So if there's any risk as far as any of my children becoming type 1 diabetes,

diabetic, which, by the way, none of my children had type 1 diabetes,

but if that happened, this doctor would also be the perfect doctor.

And we, even though we packed up and we moved from the small town, into town so

that we were closer to Minneapolis/St.

Paul.

We actually, uh, rented a room from family.

And my husband changed jobs so that he was in town.

But we still had our house out in the rural area.

And so, you know, after, I'm jumping forward, but after our little girl was

born, And we moved back out to our house in the, in the country, you know, the

one out in the lake and all, all this wonderful spacious area and so forth.

We hadn't sold that house at that point.

We, we actually did not too long after, after the baby is born.

But it worked out that when we came in for doctor's appointments for the

baby, because babies need to be seen by the doctor, especially just being

the child of a type one diabetic and any concerns as far as, you

know, Does the baby have any issues?

And so forth.

It worked out because she could see a pediatrician and that pediatrician

was also an endocrinologist.

So, you know, if you're going to drive in 90 miles.

to see a doctor, why not have kind of a double appointment?

So we would set up back to back appointments, and so this was

the perfect doctor for that.

But this doctor also got me set up, while I was pregnant,

on the MiniMed insulin pump.

Which, I know a lot of diabetics have different opinions as far as what the

best insulin pump is, but It tends to be, at least, maybe it's because of the

advertising dollars put into it, but it tends to be the granddaddy of like,

hey, this is the best insulin pump out there, you know, whatever the opinion

is, and I'm not going to argue people's opinions, but it's a well known one.

It's the MiniMed insulin pump, but Shortly after I was put on the MiniMed

insulin pump, it was purchased, and it's still owned by Medtronic.

So you will hear it referenced as the Medtronic insulin pump, but

you'll also hear it referenced as the Medtronic MiniMed insulin pump.

So Medtronic is the company now, because they purchased MiniMed, but it is MiniMed.

insulin pump that's owned by Medtronic, the company.

So you'll kind of hear both, but I generally say Medtronic

since it is the company.

Now, as a result of being on the insulin pump, the second

pregnancy went much, much smoother.

kind of without incident.

I mean, it went, it went very well.

And even though I, I lived in town, so that I was close to the hospital

and so forth, I didn't have to stay in the hospital as much, which worked

out really well because I had, I had my children to watch over and that,

that made it a lot easier and smoother.

And I had the pump that was able to help me maintain my blood sugars and so forth.

So.

That definitely made it much easier, but when it came to the delivery, now,

I want to say normal women, when you've already had a C-Section, which I'm giving

you kind of a clue as far as the next couple of podcasts, but I'd already had

a C-Section with the first pregnancy.

And when you have a C-Section, normal women that are not type 1, normal

women, I'm sorry for all my fellow type 1 diabetics, I shouldn't say normal.

Are any of us on this earth normal?

Really?

Truly?

But anyway, the, it's, it's beautiful that those of us that are type 1

diabetics are given the opportunity to actually have a natural birth

and not forced to have a C-Section.

It used to be that that was the only option for us.

But, women who do not have type 1 diabetes can have what's called a

VBAC, and what that means is a vag delivery, which is also known as a

natural birth, after a C-Section.

So if they go in and have a C-Section for the first child, they can still

go in and attempt to have a VBAC.

a VADS delivery or a natural birth for the second child.

But that is not generally an option for a type 1 diabetic.

So if a type 1 diabetic has already had a C-Section, you're kind of

slotted for a C-Section for subsequent.

pregnancies.

Now, I'm not going to complain because I think it's great that we've made strides

that allow type 1 diabetics to even have vag deliveries or natural birth.

So, hey, we're making progress.

That's good.

That's really good.

And I'm the type that I want to be thankful for the cup half full.

So this is good.

But for me, since I'd had a C-Section, I was slotted.

It's like having an appointment.

I had an appointment for a C-Section.

So, I go in there and it's It's a surgical appointment.

You go in, you're ready to go have, to go get cut open and have the baby come out.

The only problem is It looked like I was being stabbed in a dark alley.

Now, my husband was invited there, into the surgery, into the operating room,

and of course, you know, sterile and the whole thing, and I wasn't, as those

of you know, like a C-Section, you're not knocked out, you're actually awake

so that you can see what's going on.

But there was some problem with, I won't, I don't want to go into too much detail.

I don't want people throwing up while they're listening to the podcast episode,

but there was some problem with where things were placed as far as, um, as

we were trying to get the baby out.

Let's put it this way.

My poor little baby right near her eyebrow scratched on the bottom of

my rib cage, trying to pull her out.

But.

Also, one of the, I don't know, I don't understand fully, I'm not a doctor, I'm

not a surgeon, and I think I would pass out from blood, but one of, one of the

vessels kind of sprayed all over in the operating room, so if you picture, you

know, like a, a hose, like if you're playing with the, um, um, A garden hose

in your backyard, and, and you're kind of flailing it around and getting water

all over and you, you know, you're as a kid and you're just playing with water

and stuff, well picture that except you're talking about a blood vessel.

That I did see, but I could not speak.

And the reason being I was feeling pain like I had never felt before.

I don't know how to explain it except that what was going through my mind at

the time was so this is what it feels like to be gutted in a dark alley.

Now, I know, that's not what you want to think when you're delivering

a precious little bundle of joy.

My daughter, but for whatever reason, the painkiller was not working at all.

It was literally a case where I was feeling them cut me open, feeling them,

I don't know how many hands, reaching inside me, working inside me, and I

was in so much pain, I couldn't talk.

I don't know if medicine was affecting it, what it was, all that

was happening is so much water was coming out of my eyes, the crying.

I couldn't murmur.

I couldn't whimper.

I couldn't anything.

It was just, the tears were just pouring like a river out of both of my eyes.

And that, that's why I called the podcast episode, Feeling Like

Being Gutted in a Dark Alley.

Because that literally was what I thought was, this is what

it feels like to be stabbed.

And to actually, not that I ever desired to have that feeling, but

it's, it's not like if you're going to be stabbed, someone's going

to give you a painkiller first.

But it's like, so this is what it feels like.

This is excruciating.

And that is not like, uh, since I, I'd had a C-Section before, and sure

that was, that was difficult, but that's not like the first C-Section.

Which is more like what it's supposed to be like.

Fortunately, my husband.

was sitting next to me.

And he's like, Honey, are you feeling that?

And I took everything I had within me to try to nod.

I couldn't really nod my head.

I was just trying to blink to say, Yes, I'm feeling that.

I willed myself to try to respond to my husband to say, Yes, I'm feeling this.

And he fortunately, you know, enough years of marriage, he could tell.

And he right away, I He got a hold of, of the nurses and they got someone

and they're like, she's feeling this.

She is actually feeling you guys inside her body.

And they took care of it right away.

They gave me morphine or something.

Now, I have to admit, after that, I was really scared.

I mean, you know, we went through, they gave me the morphine.

I was so terrified.

They gave me like this little, you know, the thing with the, where you can push the

button and give yourself more morphine.

I was so scared because I thought, what if I stop with the morphine

and I start feeling that again?

I'm gonna feel like someone's gutting me.

So.

I was really glad that, that this gal, she actually used to work in a rehab or

something, that they gave me a placebo so they could ease me off, because it

was, even the next day they still had this machine attached with a painkiller.

And when I was pushing the button, I was getting the placebo.

Because there was so much morphine in my body from the surgery that they would

hand me my little precious baby, I'd be holding her, and I'd, like, knock out.

I didn't even know that I was, like, falling asleep.

And, oh, thank God there was always a nurse, or my husband right

there, holding the baby with me.

Because, oh my goodness, I can't even imagine.

But, fortunately, we were able to ease off the morphine.

I never want to take morphine again.

Ever.

Ever.

But, when you feel like you're being gutted, I needed something

so that I could talk again.

Because that was, that was crazy painful.

But, short of that, no thank you.

Don't offer me morphine again.

No thank you.

So, uh, yeah, that was an interesting delivery.

And I'm so thankful for.

The medical staff at that hospital in St.

Paul, that they knew what they were doing.

That whatever happened that the medicine didn't take, as far as the

C-Section, I don't blame them for that.

But I'm glad that under the circumstances, they did what needed

to be done, and they took care of me.

And then they helped to ease the situation back into some normalcy, and first and

foremost, they protected my little baby girl and made sure that she was safe,

because that was the most important.

Also, so thankful that the doctor put me on that insulin pump, which, on the

insulin pump, because even though I've gone through several upgrades since then,

it's obviously not the same insulin pump.

But I am still using a version of Medtronic insulin pump, and it

has helped me to be very healthy and still alive, and I'm thankful.

So just another story on the life of a real diabetic here on DiabeticReal.

And this is Deborah signing off.

Thank you for listening to this episode of DiabeticReal.

For more information about this podcast, as well as links and fun

stuff related to DiabeticReal, visit us at our website at diabeticReal.com.

Now we'll listen as Deborah E.

herself sings one of her favorite songs.

The song is called, Perfectly Wonderful World.

Written by Denny Martin and Jaimee Paul, engineered by me, of course, your host,

Michael, in our Seaside Records studio here in lovely Los Angeles, California.

It was on the number one Reverbnation charts for over a year.

It's still charts very well.

So have a pleasant moment and listen to Perfectly Wonderful World.

Yes, I'm living inside of this Perfectly Wonderful World.

Oh,

mmm.