Foreign.

Welcome back to another episode with of Getting Real with Bossy.

We are your host, Kelly Bush and Kelly Metras.

And we are so happy to be with you today on this, what is now a blustery cold day.

It's a beautiful day.

You want to know why?

Tell me why.

Because we are heading into March.

I get so hopeful.

It is spring renewal for me.

St. Patrick's Day money.

Let's be honest.

Because.

Right.

Pay off those winter bills.

Uh huh.

Because you know, January is one of the toughest months for small business owners.

So we are all looking forward to the, the onset of spring.

I know I am.

And you know what I love?

I love when I wake up in the morning to get the kids ready for school.

It's not dark out anymore.

And it happens so fast.

Like you don't notice.

You notice when it's dark out, you're like, what the f?

Why is it pitch blackout.

And I'm getting up, but then all of a sudden one day you realize like you're brushing your teeth and you're like, huh.

So it's dark out anymore.

Cool.

You know, like it's coming.

Like that's always my first sign.

Yeah.

It's time.

I'm excited for it.

How's your ankle doing?

You know, it's doing.

It's in its second third cast now.

I have maybe one more to go.

If when they take this one out everything looks good, then they'll just put me in a boot.

Of course I won't be able to use the boot.

Cause I can't walk on it for another, I don't know, 40 weeks.

It feels like.

Why would they put you in a boot if you can't walk on it?

Because if it's all aligned, then there's no reason to put another cast in.

And then I don't have to keep going back to get a cast chest off.

So blah blah.

Yeah, blah blah.

And I'll be much more comfortable sleeping without this huge fiberglass attachment to my body, which is not pleasant.

But you know what I got out of it?

Leg warmers.

And you know what I'm gonna wear for the rest of my life?

Leg warmers.

Because leg warmers are freaking cool.

Because I needed one.

Because for sleeping, my pants always end up halfway up my leg.

Yeah.

And I have this fiberglass rubbing against me.

I was like, I need leg warmers.

And now I own leg warmers.

Bring back the leg warmers.

Yeah, they're brought back.

I've single handedly changed fashion in 2026 and I'm bringing back.

It has been brought in.

It's been brought.

But you know what?

This has given me a lot of time to just sit and think about work and how things have changed for me since, you know, the last six weeks or however many weeks I've been stuck.

And when one of my speakeasy nights, I was talking to a woman and I mentioned that I was having the surgery, that I wouldn't be there for a couple months, she said, oh, I just had ankle surgery too.

Or she had foot surgery.

She's like.

And I had to be off her foot for the same amount of time for three months.

She's like, just gotta lean into it.

You're gonna watch a lot of tv.

Just.

Just get ready for TV and book watching.

And I was thinking to myself this week when we were discussing what we were gonna talk about, I haven't watched barely anything because I'm working a lot.

I've just changed the way that I've.

Work made me start thinking that our brains just are not the same.

And we talk about that a lot.

That an entrepreneurial brain is a mix of anxiety, stress, and usually some type of generational trauma or childhood trauma.

But it really is true because I'm not sitting around watching anything I am working from.

I watch the news in the morning, I drink my coffee, I have my breakfast, and then I pull my laptop out or I go downstairs and I work and I do that until it's time for dinner and then I fall asleep really early and then maybe I'll read.

But.

So that's what I want to talk about today.

All right.

Mental health.

I

am burnt out.

I know my husband's burnt out.

He's way more burnt out than I am.

But we're burnt out for different reasons.

Like, we're going to say, is it the normal this time of year burnout or is it a different burnout?

Totally different burnout.

My general manager is coming back next week from paternity leave, which happened earlier than we expected and longer than he planned because of issues with the baby, which I'm so happy that New York State helps parents have this time because I couldn't afford to pay him to be out.

Plus the.

Plus I've got other people helping cover shifts that.

Because I already have a full time job there.

Right.

So it's like people are like, oh, just fill in, am filling in.

But I still have all of the things that I do every day for the business to take care of.

Right, Right.

So when I can't do It.

I now have to pay people overtime to do it.

So regardless, I'm so happy he had this opportunity.

I'm so happy he's had it multiple times.

I'm so happy that the baby's okay.

I got to see him and hold him and feed him, and he's so tiny.

And it's the first baby I've held since COVID I've helped.

Baby.

Baby legs still stuck in the air.

Baby was two weeks before COVID hit.

One of my employees had a baby and brought her in.

Well, he had the baby prior, but brought her in, like, two weeks before.

And I got to hold her.

And, like, I literally did nothing.

I was just in the office, like, in heaven for, like, an hour.

And then two weeks later, the pandemic hit.

So everybody that I knew that had babies, which are, like, most of my employees, obviously, they didn't bring them around because of germs.

And then that whole thing became not normal, Right?

It became more normal to say what you should, but as a baby lover, I haven't had a baby since 2020, so I was in heaven the other day.

He's the cutest little thing.

Regardless, with all that being said, it's also.

We had two weeks of being really busy, which is great because it's winter, and when we're not really busy, we're really slow, so it evens out.

But, yeah, it's been a long eight weeks.

And I have other jobs now that I do to try to bring in more income to offset the slow seasons, because we didn't plan for this timing to hit.

When it hit, it's just in complete chaos, and I can't think straight anymore.

So we planned a trip.

I was like, you know what?

Worst case scenario.

And this is something I think more people need to understand.

It's like, it's such a hard decision to make, but we decided a few weeks ago, fuck it.

Worst case scenario, we're just going to close for a few days.

I don't want to close because I want my employees to be able to work, right.

Because I can't always afford to pay them.

Usually if I close for something like this, I pay anybody.

That would have been scheduled.

Um, obviously the servers would miss out on their tips and things like that.

We were like, worst case scenario, if he's not back and the baby's not good by then, you know, we'll just

close for a few days.

Like, we need to stop, you know?

And when we.

Even when we aren't at work, like, we got kids we got family to take care of.

You know, it's.

It's a lot.

So we decided we were going to go to Mexico and planned a trip Dun Dun Cancun.

And I was going to experience Mexico like everyone else gets to and not work when I go down, which I love going down there for work, but, you know, experience it as a tourist and not think.

Right.

We were gonna go to an all inclusive and not think about.

I wasn't gonna make a decision for three whole days.

I was so excited.

And then all this stuff happened.

I was already nervous about the airlines.

Cause we have to be back by Thursday night, you know, so with the airlines being what they are lately, I was already nervous.

And then all this stuff in Mexico happened.

And then a blizzard hit the east coast and we were like, we just need to make the.

Because we don't want to get stuck paying for this trip if we can't go on top of the stress of everything else.

So we canceled the trip and we are instead going to Canada where it is not warm.

It's the opposite.

One of our favorite places there.

So we can just kind of relax and not think for a couple of days.

And I think that it's a really hard decision for entrepreneurs to make.

I think it's.

We were laughing because we're like, what are we going to do?

Like, I don't know that I can not do anything for three days.

Right.

Like, it's going to be difficult.

Maybe we should do an episode when I get back about if I actually followed through and didn't do anything for three days.

I think that we should, but I think Aaron needs to be on there so we actually hear all sides of the story, right?

Because I'll be like, I didn't do anything.

And he'll be like, well, she did

this and then she did this.

So, yeah.

So I think it's a really hard decision to make, but we have to take care of our mental health.

And then it's to the point where I can't lead well and I can't make good decisions right now because I'm in fight or flight mode.

I'm just so burnt out and exhausted that I'm like, whatever.

Right?

I don't care.

Whatever.

Well, I think we.

No.

And I think you've done such a good job.

And most small business owners who made it through Covid about taking care of our staff's mental health and you know, hey, if we don't have the staff or it's just not working, we're shutting down for the day.

And we're all pretty good about doing that for them.

We need to be just as good about doing that for us.

And it's, you know, it does cost money and it is hard.

Right.

And you just got to do it.

And the people that get mad, if you are one of the people that has to close to take some time, you know, the people that are going to get mad about it are going to get over it.

They're going to come back, you know, they're annoyed that day.

Right.

But you just make sure that you tell everybody ahead of time.

You know, email, social media, put a sign on the door, all the things, hey, listen, we're going to be closed for a few days, so.

Right.

And if you're doing that because it's the best for your business and your business model, the people that are going to be angry and make a stink about it are not your desired clientele.

They are not.

They are not the people you should be catering to anyway.

But they're the people that take up all my mental health.

Exactly.

Well, let's talk about why that is.

Kelly.

Oh, yay.

I can't wait.

Let's dive in.

Okay.

Let's be honest.

Cause that is who we are.

And I want to start out by saying we are just too women who have run several businesses in many different times of our life and seasons of business success and lack thereof.

We are not psychologists.

We are not neuro brain people.

Exactly.

Right.

Where's that?

Right.

But this is just our take on the top 10 traits of entrepreneurs.

So owning business is not normal behavior.

Stable people don't voluntarily sign up for unpredictable income, payroll pressure, emotional team dynamics, and the constant weight of if this fails, it's all on me.

So what kind of brain does.

Today we're going to talk about the brain of an entrepreneur from our experience.

Not the Instagram version, not the motivational poster version.

The real wiring, the anxiety, the obsession, the control issues, and the relentless ambition that won't let you just be satisfied.

We're also going to ask the real questions.

Are you actually built for small business ownership or are you trying to force yourself into something your nervous system was never meant to carry?

How do you know if you're actually built for small business ownership or if you're just pushing yourself into something that's slowly burning you out?

Because entrepreneurship doesn't just reward traits, it amplifies them.

And if you don't understand your wiring, you won't build a business, you'll build a breakdown.

I feel targeted I want you to

feel seen, not at all targeted.

Next week I'll feel seen.

This week I feel targeted.

Should we stop and rerecord next week?

Right.

Well, I think also the goal as we just talked about, is to break down what that founder, what that owner actually looks like.

Because people assume that we're fearless and the reality is we're anxious overthinkers and hyper aware.

Anxiety doesn't disqualify you.

It's one of the actual reasons that we survive in our industry, in any industry really.

But we have to talk about the traits that we see over and over again, especially the messy ones, and why those ugly parts actually work for us.

So I think you sent me the top 10 that you came up with.

Okay, let's do this.

Go through.

We can go through it fast.

So we're going to talk about the trait ugly part of it and then how that turns into our superpower, because we talk about that all the time in bossy.

What is your superpower?

What is the thing that you're amazing at?

So that's how I am fucking amazing.

What are you fucking amazing?

What's your fucking superpower?

So that's how I've, I've, I've put this out.

So number one, because we all deal with it, is anxiety.

And the ugly part is the overthinking the worst case scenarios that you come up with at 2 o' clock in the morning when you can't sleep, if you're anything like me.

But we're going to turn that superpower into risk management.

Because anxiety is the thing that makes you triple check your contracts, read the fine print, notice small changes in cash flow before they become disasters, and prepare for things that others don't see coming.

We don't panic.

We scenario plan.

And I think that, I know for me, one of the things that, and I think this is gonna cross over with other things.

One of the ways I handle my anxiety is I plan for the.

So I expect the worst and I hope for the best.

Like that's my mantra.

So every time I walk into work, I expect the worst.

And how am I gonna.

I've already got 15 different answers on how I'm gonna handle this situation.

And then if those things don't happen, I'm like, oh, cool.

But I truly feel if I'm not prepared, those 15 things are all going to happen.

Yep.

And they will often when your, your partner is out of town and unreachable.

At least that's how it always happens in our world.

Right the thing that we are in charge of is always going to go wrong.

So the prep for those moments is what is.

That's driven by our anxiety, and that's what makes us successful in those moments.

It's how we survive.

So anxiety, number one, if you've got it, you just might be an entrepreneur.

It's a superpower.

It is a superpower.

Probably isn't that you're anxious.

The problem is when we don't build systems to contain it.

And that's when things break apart because we have to.

We're going to talk about that burnout, because that is real.

All right, Number two, hyper responsibility.

Ugly.

Part of it is feeling like everything is your fault.

And the fucking superpower is radical ownership.

We rarely blame.

We just fix.

We don't wait for somebody else to solve it.

We think, okay, what do we do now?

And it's kind of what I think you were just talking about.

Like, we're prepared for anything that happens, and we're gonna take ownership over it.

And I think that goes a long way.

Those bad reviews.

Oh, those bad reviews.

That's all my fault.

I didn't make that person happy.

They don't like my product.

They don't like the experience I built.

They don't like everything I've put the past umpteen years into.

That is an extension of myself and my husband and our souls and our love and our family and our people.

And that's all my fault that you had a bad experience and gave me an awful review.

And I think it goes far that it affects.

Just have to manage that and turn it around into our superpower.

So I always say one of the things that I do that helps me deal with it is sit on it for a second.

Sometimes I want to automatically respond also.

And you can just delete it before you hit send.

Sometimes it's cathartic on, like, Microsoft Word, where it's not, like, on the Internet.

Right.

Text it to somebody and be.

Exactly.

Text it to your trusted friends.

But one of the things that is helpful, because it is my business and my love and my passion is to figure out what it is that I could have fixed.

Right.

So we didn't have your flavor of margarita that you wanted.

The server wasn't super confident to talk you into getting something else.

You were mad about it.

Right?

That's just a tiny part of one of the reviews I've gotten lately.

But that tiny part is something that I can be like, okay, I may not have been able to control that.

We were out of it.

Whether we got a huge surge in orders of that random thing that week or it's out of stock or whatever it might be.

But you forgot.

Which is also okay to overlook stuff.

It's okay to forget.

But I could work on that employee and how to handle something like that next time.

Right?

Right.

I'm not going to fire that employee.

I happen to love that employee.

I think they're an amazing human being, but they're not super confident.

And that's something we have been working on over and over again, is trying to give them that confidence because it is my responsibility.

Right.

It's ultimately me.

So that's a perfect example.

Which leads us to number three, control issues.

Ugly part of that micromanaging, struggling to delegate that is our superpower, is that we have standards.

We see details that others don't.

We know when something's off and we protect the brand like it's a living thing.

The key is to learn when control builds excellence and when it builds burnout, though.

And I think a perfect example is how we often talk about delegation.

That it may not get done the way you do it, but it's getting done.

And you have to trust that you've chosen the right person to put that power into their hands.

Because we are all a little bit of a control freak.

And if that resonates with you, you might be a business owner.

You might be wired to be a business owner.

And number four, insecurity and the ugly side of that which we all face.

Even though I've been to so many places and so many presentations that say, this doesn't exist, it's imposter syndrome, and it drives me nuts when I'm here.

I've never felt it.

I'm like, that's bullshit.

And.

Or you're not doing it right.

I'm sorry.

I don't.

Like, maybe you call it something else.

I don't think that that's legit.

There is nobody in this world that thinks they're perfect at everything and meant to be in the position they're in.

Correct.

Exactly.

Even the people who act that way secretly doubt themselves.

I agree.

So I actually.

Every time I've gone to any kind of like, seminar or workshop or something where they have a speaker that says, I'm like, this whole thing's worth shit.

I want my money back.

Like, dollar stickers could be amazing.

But as soon as somebody stands up and said they've never had imposters in them, I'm like, shit, I'm gone.

I'm out.

Why am I here?

This is bullshit.

I don't believe you.

And you could tell us that we're wrong.

Feel free to comment, to message, to reach out and tell us how you've never had and explain to me how you've never doubted yourself where you are.

Right.

You may not now, but you have had at some point.

Yeah.

And I think how we turn that into our superpower is it's continuous improvement that we're never really feel like we've arrived.

We're constantly reworking our products.

We're adjusting the model, improving systems, reinventing the experience.

That discomfort fuels evolution.

And I think has helped during COVID with that P word of pivot.

It comes from never feeling like you're good enough or you belong.

You're constantly looking for new things to do.

And I think that that fuels that pivot, which was so important.

And I think there's like, ebbs and flows, right?

Where there's days where I feel very confident in the millions of hours of experience I have doing my craft and the various things that I am actually an expert at.

Like, I've done it and I know it.

And then there's days where.

Where I just don't feel it, or something is said to me or something is in pat.

You know, like the tiniest thing can happen, and I just spiral into feeling unworthy and I don't know what I'm talking about, and people shouldn't listen to me and I shouldn't own a business, and then, you know, it takes a little time to come back out of it.

So I think, like, it's ebbs and flows.

I think we should, like, seasonal depression.

Right.

I think we might want to talk about that.

This.

That could be a whole.

A whole episode, really, because how the environment, how the world, how your body plays into all that stuff is often.

Not often a lot of the time probably doesn't even have anything to do with the work that you're doing.

And as women, like, one of the Olympians actually just posted a whole thing.

It was a figure skater about how she was on her period and how we don't talk about performing on your.

In your different parts of your cycle.

Whatever part of the cycle you're in or part of hormonal change you're in.

Right.

Like, we're paranoid slash menopause.

Like, there are so many things that go into women performing that men don't understand.

And it is a.

A superpower because we can perform and achieve in a position that, I'm sorry, men can't Do.

They wouldn't be able to do it when they're.

Maybe it's not all mental, but I personally think if men were just thrown into the hormonal changes that women having, they wouldn't be able to do it.

Obviously, if they were grown into it and men had the same hormonal changes from youth, they'd be different.

But, like, if you took any man right now and just threw him into any kind of hormonal cycle, they'd be

like, what the hell's going on?

Because there's times you feel insane, there's times you feel confident, there's times you feel rested, there's times you feel restless.

And it all depends on where you're at.

And we don't talk about that enough.

No, but it affects us.

All these things affect our confidence level and how we feel about things and how we feel about ourselves.

Absolutely.

Sorry, I went on a little tangent, but I really loved that the other day.

Yeah, I know.

That's fantastic.

I saw that as well.

Was it Amber?

I think it's blonde.

Is that her name?

I think so, yeah.

We love you.

You can sponsor us.

We love figures in the Olympics.

Usa.

Side note, there was also a few free freestyle skier.

This woman, she was asked by a reporter, I don't know if you saw this.

This was her fifth attempt, I believe, at a medal.

And she got two silvers.

And she was.

Fucking silver medals.

You are the second best free throw skater of billions of people.

The second best.

Right.

And he had the audacity to ask her.

Which he would not have asked a man.

She counted that as two losses.

Yeah.

Holy shit.

Her actual response was fantastic.

Laughed at him.

And you need to look it up.

It's amazing.

Her response was amazing.

But she straight up laughed at him and was like, you are outrageous.

This is the most ridiculous thing that's ever been asked.

I just won my fifth medal.

Right.

In the fucking Olympics.

Right.

Shit.

All right, let's move on.

Because that does have to it.

It's part of our imposter syndrome.

And that is what society says to us on a regular basis.

Do you count that as two losses?

Right.

Do you think you're not good enough?

You're the second fucking best freestyle skater in the world.

Do you think you're not good enough?

Shut up.

Does not help.

So anyways, I'm done.

That's okay.

Well.

And we do this because.

Number five, stubbornness.

Can't let it go.

The ugly part is we don't quit easily.

And the superpower is we don't quit easily.

It's just the same.

You know, there's a thin line between delusion and vision.

Every business that survived Covid, that wasn't logic.

It was stubbornness and belief.

And I'm gonna say it again.

There's a thin line between vision and delusion.

And most successful founders have stood on that line more than once.

So if you are finding yourself in that spot, you are in good company and you might be an entrepreneur.

And sometimes that stubbornness feels awful, like you're pushing a boulder uphill.

And sometimes that stubbornness feels empowering.

Right.

Like, look at what I've accomplished.

I know I can do this.

Like, I know that this is difficult, but I know I can do it right.

Because the difference isn't confidence, it's self awareness.

And I think that's key, what you just said.

Yeah.

And sometimes you're like, I have to do it because it's my business.

I don't want to do it.

I'm pushing this boulder up the hill.

But in the back of my head, I know I'm going to get to the top.

It's just going to suck.

Yep.

Number six, that creative restlessness, that thing that keeps you up all.

All night, the ugly part of it is you can get bored.

The superpower is it turns that.

You can turn that into innovation.

And this is why we do things the way we do, where we create events in our business that normally wouldn't have events.

We pivot concepts, we build side brands, we build take on side jobs, we write books, we see a building and imagine 12 different things that could happen in that building.

You go to a business and go, wow, this is interesting what they're doing.

This is how I would do it different.

It never, ever, ever stops.

That restlessness, that creative restlessness is constant.

And it doesn't make you scattered.

It just makes you wired for possibility.

Yeah.

I mean, how many times do you go into a restaurant or a business and go, oh my gosh, this could.

I could do this.

And not that they're doing it wrong, wrong, but you just have 10 other ideas of what it could be.

Yeah, every time.

I used to, when I did a lot more consulting, I did focused a lot on small business like creation and business plans.

And I was got to the point where I'm like, I don't know if I can do this, because I am like writing 10 different business plans now.

And that's not what you hired me for.

And now I have my hours.

I just.

Now, now I want the business that you're trying to do.

So it's just, I think that's how our brains work.

And I think sometimes that's, you know, some of the consultants that are not business owners.

And I know we don't always love that when they're in that position, but sometimes you need a different brain to be able to look at that stuff.

Because our brains aren't wired that way.

Right.

Just wired to keep going and keep

creating and that innovation.

Right.

So you, what, you might walk into a business and say, I would do this differently.

It's not like you said, but it's seeing it different and knowing what you are good at and what you value and how you would approach that situation.

And it's constant.

And that's.

The entrepreneurial brain is seeing a deficit or something that needs to be fixed and figuring out a way to do it.

Right.

This next one is the one that I get so uncomfortable with.

And it's one thing that I've found in different stages of my life that I don't love, but I know that it's so important and it's that high tolerance for uncertainty where that ugly part is that just the chaos feels normal.

I hate those moments in my life where I've said, I just don't do well.

When things are going well, I need them to be chaotic.

But the superpower of that is resilience.

So I'm going to try and remind myself, because when things are going easy, I just don't function.

I feel like I don't function and I just feel normal in that comfortableness or that uncomfortableness, that chaos.

But what that does for entrepreneurs, it makes you comfortable with not always knowing the numbers yet before you go into something, not that you're not prepared, but you don't have all the answers are

going to respond to your business plan.

It still comes down to people.

Someone's watching your product.

Right.

Launching your idea before it's perfect.

There's no perfect time to start a business.

Have your ducks in a row as much as you can.

But I think that's what some people get stuck on.

And I know people who have waited years because they're like, it's just not the right time.

It's not the perfect thing.

Like.

Like it's never going to be.

But that uncertainty is what makes us comfortable.

Launching before it is perfect.

You just need your ducks corralled.

You don't need them in a row.

Right.

You just need to be able to see where they are.

Yeah, I just need eyes on them.

Yeah, you need 80s 80s parent theory.

Like, I just need to know that they're in the neighborhood.

They will be back before the lights go on or before the call them.

They'll show up.

Right.

They need a little freedom sometimes.

Exactly.

It also makes us comfortable making decisions without all of the information, because we have to do that.

And that's what makes us successful, is in the moment, being able.

In that chaotic moment, being comfortable to make decisions.

Oh, my gosh.

Somebody posted in the group the other day about, has anybody ever said yes to an event feeling super confident and ready for it?

And then, like, day of, you're just like, oh, my God, what am I doing here?

Why am I here?

I should have said, like, this is outside of my comfort zone.

And I feel like I just jumped off the cliff.

And everybody answered, yeah, yeah.

Like, every.

Every time, even if you're doing an event, you've done the same kind of event before.

Now you're working with different people.

You're in a different space.

You're doing a different thing.

Right.

So everything's gonna work a little bit differently.

And again, back to that.

Being able to creatively constantly pivot and be like, okay, well, this isn't gonna work here, even though it did last time.

So I'm gonna do this instead.

I'm gonna put this over here.

I'm gonna sell it this way.

And having to be on your toes all the time.

Right?

Not everybody can do that.

A lot of people freeze in that uncertainty moment where we just thrive in it.

And we can make those decisions without thinking.

And we see, even on a small scale.

I mean, how many times have you gotten a call, hey, can you do this thing?

Can you make this thing?

Can you run it?

Yeah, absolutely.

So I hang up and go, I gotta figure it out now.

Because I said yes.

I hang up and I'm like, hey, Erin, guess what I said yes to.

I'm familiar with that.

Back to what you were just talking about.

It made me think the other day, Harper was like, because we've been working so much and it's been busy.

And she was like, it's been really busy at work.

And I was like, yeah.

She's like, so why don't we have all that money?

Yeah, yeah.

You know, she's like, you know, not.

We're not poor, but we're.

It's winter.

And business ownership.

It is.

You're not getting brand new shoes right now.

Sorry.

You're going to Goodwill if you want to buy crap.

And I was like, well, because you don't know what next month's gonna bring.

Like, you have to wait to see how much you're gonna pay yourself.

And yeah, profit first.

And I get all that.

And we do pay ourselves.

You know what we pay ourselves.

But it's not like you could just take the bonus because there is so much uncertainty and you don't know what next week's gonna bring.

And you don't know if there's gonna be a storm that shuts you down or a pandemic or a hole in

your roof that you now have to fix.

I mean, those things happen and we have to be prepared for.

I mean, just in our industry, a walk in, cooler going, a cooler going down means you could be shut.

I mean, there are things that the things that we need to survive for our business are not inexpensive.

Yeah.

So it was just funny because she was like, why don't we have all that money?

Oh, I love her.

Number nine.

Another thing we talk about all the time is mild to moderate to extreme trauma driven independence.

And we are going to talk about it.

We're saying it.

And the ugly part of it is the I'll just do it myself.

But the superpower is self sufficiency.

A lot of entrepreneurs learned early on, if you want to do get something done, just do it.

No one's coming to save you.

And you need to create your own stability.

And this is the wiring that really creates builders.

And we've all been there.

We all have our trauma.

I don't know any successful business owner in my circle that doesn't have some childhood trauma.

I just made a connection.

Generational trauma.

Yes.

So we've talked previously about the average age of a new business owner is in like their late 40s.

Mid to late 40s.

That puts us all at like generation X. Yeah.

So maybe it's just you need it to be generation.

And that's the.

That's the leveled trauma across the board.

Agreed.

So we all lived through that weird time of like the 80s versus the 90s and that transition into technology and the parents letting you go do whatever you want.

Yep.

The parties in the forest and not dying and, you know, that's really riding

on the roofs of cars.

My kids might.

Well, they don't listen to this.

I didn't say you did it.

Never very responsible and perfect.

Oh, yes.

I never did anything wrong.

Yes.

Especially because you can't get caught if your parents aren't around.

So it's not right.

Number 10, mom and Dad.

It was a different one.

I was like, your parents do listen to this.

So be careful.

And the kids will at some point, I'm sure.

But number 10, in our opinion, the 10th trait of a entrepreneurial brain is relentless ambition.

The ugly side is it's never enough.

The superpower is it's clear vision.

We don't just want income, we want impact, we want legacy.

We want a place that potentially outlives us and a story that matters.

And I think that's what sets us

apart and that's what makes us constantly want growth.

And I think that can also be another detriment.

Right.

Is not being comfortable where you're at and just being stable.

Sometimes stable is just where you need to be.

Yeah, we always want growth.

Growth, growth, growth, growth.

How do I get bigger and better and different and reach more people and you know, hire more people, have more locations and do more products and sometimes we just need to sit in that stability, but we're just not good at it.

Right.

And I said that in the very

beginning about lack of stability.

Uh huh.

Understanding your traits are important because we do feel that burnout is what happens when your best trait runs unsupervised.

So let's just touch on burnout a little since we kind of started that way.

And burnout I think is, it's, it's going to happen.

To say you're never going to burn out is ridiculous.

So planning for it by understanding these things about yourself, reining them in, corraling them, can help with burnout.

Burnout is uncontained strength.

It's how we normalize stress and how we mistake, often mistake depletion for dedication.

It's very rarely weakness.

It's usually strength without structure.

And I think what we're talking about today and really understanding those things can help with that.

It's not just are you built for this, but it's are you building something that you're aligned for that your body can handle.

If some of these strengths are just too much, then, then you, or some of these traits are too much, then you gotta find the way to, to handle that and combat that because it's going to, those things are gonna happen.

And I think this transfers a lot to just leadership in general to be willing to be in charge, whether it's your own business or somebody else's, you

have to have a little.

And I think that all of these traits kind of fall under grip, right?

The ability to just persevere, pivot, create, move on, move forward, keep going.

Right.

Like all of these things kind of fall into that grit bubble.

And I don't know that they can be taught, right?

Maybe I don't think they can.

I think just some of these things are just inherent.

And I think the people that call us out on that not even call us out, but thinking like, the must be nicest.

We talk about that.

Like there's this idea that we are all we need.

That hustle, that hustle culture.

We've talked about that so many times.

That rest.

When we're resting, it looks suspicious.

Oh, you're going on vacation.

Oh, my goodness.

That's.

That's.

So are you taking all the business money?

And you know, it's ridiculous, right?

And when we set up boundaries and things, it makes it sometimes seem like laziness.

And you don't want my business.

Right?

And if you're not there all the time, how many times have you gotten that?

I barely ever see you there.

I'm like, I am always there on some level, whether I'm in the building or not.

And we get to the point where.

And I think this is what leads into this burnout often that I need to be there all the time.

And we've talked about just being there is not.

That's not supervision.

That's not good leadership.

Just being on hand.

And that your business only works when you're exhausted.

It doesn't work.

So saying that you're never going to burn out is just.

It's just not.

It's going to happen, but you need to.

Maybe we're getting burned out because we're listening to the voices of people who are not living it instead of listening to what we know our business needs.

I think that's a huge part of it.

If I hear a couple times a week or you're just not there enough, I will be there for 90 hours the next week.

And that's not good.

That's not good for the business.

It doesn't mean I'm working harder.

It just means I'm getting tireder or more tired.

Excuse me, that was bad tired or

work for this tireder.

So I think burnout's huge.

And I would love to expand on that, but I know we are getting near our time.

So last year we focused on money.

I think this year maybe we focused on some mental health.

And let's just really quick think back to all of our listeners.

I want you to think back to our January episode.

Think about what you burnt and what you brought with you and make sure that's still aligned.

Because I think by February, most of us have forgotten what we did in January.

And maybe you need to burn it again just to remind yourself.

Maybe it's a monthly or bi monthly burn of hey, these are the things I'm still trying to get rid of.

Cause they don't just disappear.

They don't like those voices.

And let's stop with this idea that we're all just fearless because it's just not true.

We just are learning to get through it.

Acknowledging that fear is in the passenger seat of our fast moving vehicle through this life of entrepreneurship.

I love that make it into a shirt.

I think I might all the shirts.

So if this resonates with you, we are putting together a little bit of a workbook to work through some of these things and understand them a little bit more.

And we can certainly let you know that when that happens.

But I just want to say being built for entrepreneurship does not mean you're built to suffer through it.

It means you're responsible for building something that protects your wiring, not exploits it.

If you've ever felt like your brain is too much normal life, maybe you're not too much.

Maybe you're just wired to build.

I love you.

Follow Up Comment Reach out.

Let us know if you want to be on the show at Bossy Rock on Socials B O S S Y R O c bossy rock gmail.com bossy rock.com Be bold.

Be brave.

Be the boss.

Be the boss.

Sam.