Welcome to the Cosmic Mystic Podcast, the space for healers, coaches and conscious leaders on a mission to elevate collective consciousness.

I'm your host, Danny Simoniz, a former Catholic disciple turned eclectic witch, guiding you through the realms of astrology, spirituality, and the quest to escape the matrix.

It's time to unleash the mystic within.

Let the transformation begin, my friend.

Have you delayed your dreams?

Have you canceled your rest?

Have you silenced your truth to keep the peace?

As women, spiritual women, we often are conditioned to always be available, to be on call for everyone.

If we're talking about our families, it's I've got to be there for my family because I'm a good family member.

I want to be a good daughter, I want to be a good aunt, I want to be a good whatever.

If we're talking about our clients in business, it might be, well, this is a high ticket offer and so I have to be high access.

They've got to have access to me 24 7.

If I'm going to do this, if I'm going to be a good whatever, I've got to be available.

I've got to be able to drop the ball and go, like, drop what I'm doing and go help them.

This happens with our partners, with our friends and, and even strangers online.

My friend, being on call for everyone.

I want to tell you right now, it's not being nice.

It's actually diminishing your power.

It's actually diminishing your energy.

It's actually diminishing your focus and pulling you away from, from your stuff, from what is important to you.

Now, don't get me wrong, I love relationships.

I love the relationships that I have.

The relations that I have are sovereign relationships that aren't going to harp on me if I don't spend time with them for a month, but are going to reach out to me and say, hey, when can, when can I get on your calendar?

When can we connect?

Or they'll share things with me in between times.

They're still showing up for me.

They are not frustrated with me.

They respect my time, they respect me, they respect my priorities.

Most of us never questioned this, though.

I know I didn't.

Right?

I saw my mom give, give, give, give.

I saw the church, right?

It give.

We've got to give to others.

We've got to give of ourselves.

We've got to give, right?

And this is a societal conditioning.

This is in generational condition conditioning where this might have been passed down within your family.

One of the things that my mom you know, always told my brother and I growing up was, you've only got each other.

And I. I didn't realize what that was actually teaching me until very later on in my life, but it was, like, ingrained in me.

It's like, you only have each other, right?

Because after we gone.

And it was very much what came after that.

After we're gone, it's just you, too.

And I was very much like, okay, okay, okay, right.

It's just us.

It's just us.

It's just us.

And tried so hard to, you know, make.

Make that relationship work, make different things, you know, like, try to set things up so that we could have this really good relationship.

And, you know, I might have a different perspective on that now, but it was so ingrained in me.

This was.

I didn't question it.

Right?

Family comes first, right?

Some of those phrases that you might have that make us feel like we have to do this thing.

I used to joke with my dad all the time, like, when you get older, or you better be nice to me is what I would say.

You better be nice to me, because when you get older, I'm gonna put you in a home, right?

And my dad would just get so pissed off at me because I would say that.

And it was.

Because it was so far against what they had taught me, right?

Like, you.

You don't do that to your parents.

Your parents go to a home and they're lonely and they're.

You forget about them.

And that's not how I feel about that in any way, shape or form.

I actually put me in a home, my friend.

I'd love to be in a home where there's other people like me, where I get to go play bingo and I get to go have fun and do things that I want to do.

Like, I love their soul.

Social calendars.

Like, those social calendars are so much fun.

Like, I want that social calendar now.

So I. I think it's just the way, though, that I was brought up was very much, you have to do these things for your family.

You have to.

There was no doubt in my mind, but being a good person, being a good woman, right?

It's not to sacrifice ourselves.

It's not to, you know, put others before ourselves.

It's to be so full and complete within ourselves so that we can model that for other people, so that we can show other people how to live.

Not to live from a place of expectation, but.

And then feeling.

Because here's what would happen for me is then there would be like, oh, I'd be frustrated because I gave up, right?

I gave up this activity, I gave up this time to work on my business.

I gave up this, you know, thing that I really, really wanted to do.

Time using time to go spend with my family.

And not that I don't love my family, not that I didn't love my family, not that I didn't want to spend time with them, but I would sacrifice that time.

And then when I would be mind and I'd be rushing and I'd be stressed out, I would have this resentment towards them.

Same thing when I first started my business and I had clients and they wanted access to me 247 and I would give them, right?

I would respond right away as soon as they text me and I would say, I'm so sorry for not getting back to you sooner.

And I had this constant like I was, I was stressed, right?

And I was like, oh my God, are they, are they going to get mad at me?

Are they going to stop coming to me?

Are they going to, they're going to give me a review like I, are they not going to refer me, right?

I have to, I have to do this.

I have like it was this such, this energy of I have to show up for them.

But then I was not completing my own goals.

I was stressed out then I was getting frustrated at the then, you know, 12 year old, 13 year old, right?

I was getting stressed out with her and frustrated with her.

I was getting frustrated with my love simply because I didn't allow myself to take care of myself.

I was trying so much to take care of so many other people that I was not taking care of myself.

And it showed it my most intimate relationships.

So I want to talk about this today, my friend, because this is not, this does, it doesn't have to be that your energy is so sacred.

This opportunity that you have right here, the ideas you have, the dreams you have, this life is yours.

You get to choose how you live it.

Just as your friends and your family and everybody else in the world gets their choice, you get to decide how you want to live your life.

So let's talk about this.

So I'm not saying that you should be cold and you should not help anybody and you should not be there for people.

What I'm saying is be crystal clear on what you are doing and how you are taking care of you.

We're not going to abandon others.

We're not going to say, you know, I hate the idea of no, just say no.

Which I, for a long time I was like, just say no.

No is a complete sentence, right?

I still say this to all the time.

No is a complete sentence.

You don't have to over explain everything to someone.

What I don't want you to do, my friend, is abandon yourself, abandon your dreams, abandon your ideas, because you're trying to keep the peace.

I would say that this idea and research has shown that being on call is a trauma, informed identity.

The rescuer, the peacemaker, the spiritual super woman.

Now I will tell you, I was the rescuer and I was the peacemaker.

And I wanted so hard to be that spiritual superwoman too.

And what did that, what did that get me?

That got me more stressed out and worried and frustrated and angry and holding things in because I didn't have the outlet, I didn't have the space to actually take care of me, to rescue me, to find peace within me.

It's one of the reasons why my business, when I first started it shifted into this idea of being the peace teacher.

It's still to this day my website is the Peace Teacher.

I've changed the business of my.

My name, my business name.

But that energy of the peace teacher was so strong because I had to learn how to cultivate peace within myself through all the chaos.

And I used to say this all the time, find peace in the chaos.

Find.

Because I was struggling through chaos, but I needed to find peace.

And then once I started to feel that, I was like, okay, now I gotta go tell other people how to do this.

Which is the basis of the work that I do today still is helping people cultivate that inner peace within themselves so that they can see it and express it and show it and fully be it.

Because yes, I can say, like, I'm being a good friend by, you know, being taking their call immediately right in the middle of me, you know, doing something.

This has happened right where I'm in the middle of writing a script.

I might be in a flow state and I forgot to put my phone on, do not disturb.

And what happens?

Somebody calls, right?

There's a phone rings or text messages start going off and I'm like, oh crap, now my friend's in trouble and I, I should, I should respond to her, I should call her back or, right, she needs me right now.

And, and I've completely, completely shifted my energy and I've lost that flow state of where I was and what I was doing.

Completely gone.

Now I'm not saying that I shouldn't be there for my friend.

What I'm saying is I'm going to do my, my stuff, get everything out that I need to get out, get that message, that channeled message out.

And then I can call my friend and say, hey, what's going on?

How can I support you right now that I've completed my thing and I've made sure that I am in a space to be able to show up for her.

Because if I took that call and I was like, oh, there would be this little resentment of like, damn, I was on such a good, such a good role.

And now it's.

I don't even remember where I was.

I don't remember what I was doing.

I had that flow and now it's gone because I took that call because I moved my energy over here.

And now, although as much as I want to help my friend, I'm a little frustrated, right?

And that stays because then something else might happen later and you're like, oh my goodness, why does she always call when I'm trying to do my thing?

And now you build up this resentment and you build it and you build it and you build it and then you explode on her and you're like, why the heck did I just explode on her?

Why did I get mad?

Because she canceled our plans?

Had nothing to do with any of it.

But because you've been building this resentment.

It happens with family and it happens with clients.

So we're talking about reclaiming our time, reclaiming our body, reclaiming our focus, reclaiming our inner peace.

My friend, one of my clients, we had been working on her family and things around her family and how she was feeling about certain things.

And one of the things that she would happen is that she would have this sister of hers who was just negative Nelly, negative Nelly all the time.

And it was constant.

It was constant disrespect to my client.

It was constant disrespect in the family.

And it just was not a good thing.

So she didn't have to go out and say like, I'm done with you all.

I'm tired of your ish.

She just stopped making herself available.

She chose herself.

She chose her time.

She chose her energy.

She didn't.

She stopped responding to those text messages.

She stopped responding to those calls on their terms.

She stopped letting those passive aggressive comments go because they weren't about her, they were about her sister.

Now she is.

Her energy is open.

She has much more peace within herself that when her sister does call her now, because now that dynamic has shifted because she's taken her power back when her sister calls and she's ready to talk to her, it's a completely different conversation.

And she's even noted that like, wow, the way she's even talking to me is different.

She's attracting people into her life.

She's growing her business tremendously.

This is the power, my friend, of removing yourself from everyone else's emotional payroll.

So how, how do we do this?

How do we do this, Danny?

How do I stand in my sovereignty?

How do I say not just no, but how do I create that energy around myself so that I feel solid about saying no, that I don't even have to say no because people respect me and I'm in relationships where people respect me.

I want you to ask yourself, first off is we've always got to understand, we always got to have this awareness first.

So I want you to think about who have I made myself emotionally responsible for?

Who have I made myself emotionally responsible for?

Get honest with yourself, my friend.

Where are you feeling guilt?

Right?

Where, where are you emotionally responsible for other people?

What relationships?

And then I want you to start to like, once you've identified that right, we're going to start reclaiming our space, reclaiming our energy.

And one of my top ways of doing this is turning off notifications.

I have a automatic DND do not disturb on my phone from 8am to 12pm that four hour block.

Every single morning it is on DND and in fact it is on DND from 9pm at night all the way till 7am in the morning.

So between 8 and 9, if somebody wants to get a hold of me, they can get a hold of me.

After that you can get a hold of me till afternoon.

If you tried to call me and expect me to answer, it's not going to be till afternoon.

I'm not going to check my messages until later on in the day.

So oftentimes people will text me at night, probably like midnight, 10 o', clock, I don't see it.

But when I get up in the morning and after I've gone through my morning routine, I usually will respond between 7 and 8am, especially if it deserves a response, right?

If my friends are talking about, hey, are we meeting up tomorrow?

Or hey, I'm going to stop by and do this.

If a client is like needing to reschedule something for that day, like if there's something a little bit more on the urgent side, like, I'll definitely respond.

If it's something that can be responded to later, I will respond to it later.

Now I have set time in my schedule where I Do that so that I remember.

Oh, yeah.

I need to go back and respond to these people.

I don't un.

I don't.

I. I make sure that it's not unread, right?

Like that text message is not unread.

The other thing is.

So here's the thing too.

You might be like, but I can't turn off my phone, Danny, because I have certain people, right, that you need to make sure that if something were to happen, that you can contact them.

There is a feature that you can have important people, right?

And whoever those important people are, like overnight important people, like there's certain people, like my mom, my love's mom, the now 21 or 20 year old.

Like, I have those people.

They're not on.

They're not on D and D, right?

They.

They can call my love during the morning, you know, he can call, right?

I've got them that they're.

If something were to happen, because they don't call me unless it's something urgent.

They'll send me a text message, right?

But their phone calls I'm able to get.

So if something's.

There's an emergency, I'm.

They're able to get me other than that, not until on my time, okay?

So I'm reclaiming my time.

I'm reclaiming my space.

The other thing is, for those of you that have clients, that work with clients, you have hours of operation, right?

You're available between this and this, this time, whatever this time and this time is.

The other thing is response time.

I respond within 24 hours.

I tell that to my clients all the time.

I will respond to you within 24 hours.

So if I'm in, you know, if I've got a full day of clients, at the end of the day, I'll check to make sure that I've responded to anybody, sent any messages, or sometimes I'll have things.

I'm like, okay, I need to be in a certain space.

And so I'll wait till the next morning to actually be in that space to send them something or to channel something for them.

Because sometimes it might be something like that.

And I want to make sure that I'm in the right space.

Not drained from the day, but fully available in my highest energy to do that for them.

The other thing is your nervous system.

Your nervous system needs to rest.

It needs to relax.

We need to allow ourselves to regulate our nervous system.

So are you doing that right?

I have that daily somatic awareness practice that I, I talk about all the time, and I absolutely Love, because it is a beautiful practice to just simply ground yourself, connect into what is going on with you, and really take that empowered step to move forward.

It's just simple, easy.

The other one is our daily somatic breath work.

I have a ton of those here on the channel.

I also have a ton of past hypnosis and meditation recordings that I have done for years.

And at the end of this video, there'll be a nice daily somatic practice that you can do the simple regulating of your nervous, nervous system of releasing anything that is not serving your greatest and highest good so that you can be present for your life.

All right, the last thing I'm going to say is to step into that rewiring, or as I like to say, shifting the energy around something.

So you are still a good person.

You are still a wonderful mother.

You are still a wonderful person, like a good person in society, even if you're not always available.

In fact, when you have strong, loving boundaries, they are modeling that for others.

They are modeling that for your children, they are modeling that for your family members.

They are modeling that for your clients, they're modeling that for your friends.

When I have good, strong boundaries and people respect that, other people, right, are going to be like.

They're going to have that permission for themselves to say, wow, you know what?

I can do that too.

And that's what happened for me.

I started to be around people that had really good, healthy boundaries and were standing in their sovereignty.

And I was like, oh, that's a thing.

And they're great people.

I love them, I adore them, I respect them.

And they've got really great boundaries.

I can do that, too.

And I started to learn how to have healthier boundaries, how to stand up for myself, how to take care of myself first.

And I am now able to be present when I am with somebody, when I'm with a client, when I'm with a friend, when I'm with my love, when I'm with family, I'm able to be present, not having that.

Oh, okay, I gotta hurry this up because I gotta go do this.

But be fully there because I've made that space for them.

Now, some of you might be having the thoughts that I once had as well, which is, what if people think I'm selfish?

What if people think I'm selfish?

Okay, I love this one.

My friend, sometimes.

Sometimes you are going to be the villain in other people's stories.

I'm sorry.

It is what it is.

Sometimes you have to make decisions for yourself that not everybody's going to agree with.

Not everybody's going to agree with.

You're going to make a decision that is for your greatest and highest good and people aren't going to like it.

It was one of my biggest fears, especially when I was in the corporate world and my boss was, wow, she was.

She was a piece.

I'll just say that she was a piece.

And I had two of them, in fact, but the last one was, you know, we had these, you know, team bonding events and, you know, great that we got to go do these great things.

However, because of the chemistry, let's just say, of our team, it was very, very challenging, especially as I got towards the end of that time and I really started to see what was actually happening as I got deeper, deeper into personal and development and energy, and I started to understand things.

And I was like, this is not healthy.

This is not good.

What is going on here?

And there was an event that I had to go to.

And in my head, I could not say no.

In my head, this is a team bonding.

This is.

This is.

We're required to do this.

If I don't go, she's going to.

She's going to fire me, right?

They're going to talk crap about me.

I'm not going to get the projects that I want anymore.

I'm not going to be seen as a team player.

Like, all of the thoughts that were coming through and my love asked me a question.

He's like, what's the worst that could happen?

I was like, she could fire me.

And he's like, is that true?

And I was like, no.

But she could make my life hell, right?

My life would.

It would feel to me like my life was hell because I had given everybody power over me.

I'd given all of their thoughts, all of their opinions that I was being selfish.

And so I did.

I did go.

And my body was so upset with me that it literally broke down and I got sick.

I got physically sick.

And it was like, that's what I had to do in order to say, I can't stay here any longer.

I couldn't use my voice at the time to say, I'm not going to go, because I was so afraid.

I was so afraid of being selfish.

But yet my body, right body, had another story, my friend.

Sometimes people are not going to agree with you, and that's okay.

They're going to have their own perspective and their own opinions.

This is why you do things from a very clear, solid, grounded place, because they're going to judge you, no matter what decision you make.

All right, what if my client gets mad because I didn't respond right away, Right?

This client are an interesting topic because we want to be there for our clients.

We want to support our clients, especially if we're talking about healing work, right?

They might be in something and we want to support them and we want to help them.

And I've learned over the years that sometimes they just need space, right?

They just need to say it, they need to get it out, and then they just need space and they can actually figure it out themselves and I can check in and see where they are, right.

I've learned this over the years.

But then there's some people, right, that maybe you're in a business where it's, it's a service that you have to go and do, right?

Or maybe you're, you know, like in copywriting or something and you're having to write, you know, their stuff and they're like, I need it asap.

Well, this is where first off, we're going to go back and we set expectations, always with our clients, always, right?

Setting expectations is, I'm available between this and this.

If something comes up, this is what you do.

All of my coaches, my friends and all of my high ticket coaches, they are only available at the times they're available.

And they've given us, they've given me a way, a process to contact them if it's outside of that time.

And every single time if I send them something, I'll get them reply back automatically that says, this is outside of our normal hours or make sure you do this and somebody will get back to you by this.

It's usually within 24 hours.

It's usually within 48 hours.

And I'm like, okay.

And I know and I respect that.

And if I'm not managing my own time wisely, it is not their responsibility, right, to have to juggle their things and move their things around simply because I didn't manage my time.

Right?

And secondly, I don't attract people like that.

I attract people who respect themselves, who respect me to respect my time just as much as they respect theirs.

All right?

What if I disappoint my family?

Well, my friend, this is something that I've definitely had to learn to navigate and to understand.

Disappointing my family is probably one of the biggest things that I have done.

And I remember telling my niece, I think she was like 16 years old.

I told her, we were talking in the car and she was talking about, you know, things as she was Getting older, in her future and whatnot.

And I told her.

I was like, look, I want you to know that some point in your life, you're going to disappoint me.

And at some point in your life, I'm going to disappoint you.

It happens.

It happens.

As much as I want to say I will never disappoint you.

I will.

I am.

I'm human.

I make mistakes.

I don't always make the right decisions.

And so I wanted her to know that.

That it was going to happen.

Wanted to prepare her for that.

And what I also told her right after that is, no matter what, though, I will love you.

I will always love you, and I hope that you'll love me, too.

And it was just this moment of us having.

Of, look, we're gonna call it out because it's gonna happen.

You're going to disappoint somebody.

Somebody's gonna have an opinion and a perspective on what you are doing.

They might not agree with it.

Right.

You are not showing up the way you used to show up.

And they're going to have some thoughts, and that's okay.

Let them have their thoughts.

The let them theory.

If you've read that book by Mel Robbins.

I have.

I haven't read the book.

I'm going to say I've heard a lot of people talk about it.

I know the concept.

I've been working in that concept for many, many years.

And it is.

It's theirs.

It's not ours, my friend.

It's theirs.

And that's okay.

Like, it's absolutely okay.

I think.

I think we need to stop worrying about disappointing people and just stop being.

Start being truthful and honest and in integrity and love.

And when we show up in that way, we are fully in our sovereignty.

And nobody can question that.

They're going to try.

But as long as you are solid, as long what matters to you, that's my friend, is beyond anything.

And then what if I stop being the helper?

And no one needs.

No one needs me anymore?

What if I stop being the helper?

What if I stop being the giver?

And then I'm not needed?

Well, these days, I would say hallelujah.

Great.

I love it.

I love that people have taken ownership of their lives.

But Dani back then, Danny, back who?

Before she reclaimed her power, before she started to have her own voice, before she stopped showing up for other people and not herself, she would have a different perspective on that because her identity was tied in her having to be the helper.

Like, it was like a badge of honor.

I am the help.

I'm the one that keeps this together.

I'm the one that does this.

Wow.

That is my friend.

Now I look at it and I feel so bad.

Like, I feel like, so bad for Danny in that she felt that that was all she was worth.

She felt that that was her identity, that that is who she had to be for people to love her, who she had to be for people to accept her.

That if she was anything else, people would not love her like her, want to be around her, work with her, be in a friendship with her.

My friend, you are more than just a helper.

A helper is part of who you are, but it's not all of who you are.

I can still be a helper and still have very healthy boundaries.

I can be a helper and still be a sovereign being because I'm also all of these other things.

All right, my friend.

I hope that this has helped you start to shift your perspective, start to empower you just a little bit more into your power.

If this hit something for you today, want you to know that you're not wrong for wanting to be free.

You're ready to stop carrying what was not yours.

And this is exactly what we explore inside my containers.

And the next step is an inner authority call with me.

A soft, powerful space where we get to entangle these patterns with love.

Your next level of peace, your next level of power, your next level of leadership is waiting.

You're ready to book that inner authority call and take that next step for yourself.

You'll find the link below down in the comments.

And my friend, stay tuned for our next episode in our series of Rise in Line here.

Be sure you are subscribed.

Last but not least, feel free to share this with somebody who just may need to hear this today.

Until next time, my friend.

And remember to keep shining your unique light.

Sam.