1 00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:03,044 Ultimately, when I moved down here, 2 00:00:03,044 --> 00:00:06,047 I struggled with 3 00:00:06,047 --> 00:00:09,884 who I was, especially whenever I was outside the community. 4 00:00:09,884 --> 00:00:13,346 When I was visiting old friends or was with my family, I was like, 5 00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:15,306 what am I like? 6 00:00:15,306 --> 00:00:16,099 How do I go? 7 00:00:16,099 --> 00:00:20,270 Do I go as I used to be, just like, conservative Christian? 8 00:00:20,270 --> 00:00:22,105 Or do I go being Mennonite? 9 00:00:22,105 --> 00:00:23,440 You know, I'm not part of the church. 10 00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:25,233 How do I dress? 11 00:00:25,233 --> 00:00:29,404 a big turning point for me was actually when I was traveling 12 00:00:29,446 --> 00:00:32,449 with my brother, and we were backpacking. 13 00:00:32,449 --> 00:00:34,242 I knew I didn't have a lot of space, and I was like, 14 00:00:34,242 --> 00:00:37,328 I can't take two different styles of clothing with me. 15 00:00:37,328 --> 00:00:40,123 You know, I can't, you know, I don't have space for that. 16 00:00:40,123 --> 00:00:42,834 I need to go in one way or the other. 17 00:00:42,834 --> 00:00:45,879 And I just, I kind of battled with it for a while, and I was like, 18 00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:49,007 God, you have to give me peace in whatever way I go. 19 00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:58,183 Tirzah, thanks for coming on the podcast today. 20 00:00:58,433 --> 00:00:59,517 For a little context, 21 00:00:59,517 --> 00:01:03,438 we're filming this in Ireland, which is where you're originally from. 22 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:04,647 You were born here. 23 00:01:04,647 --> 00:01:07,567 And today I want to get some of your story. 24 00:01:07,567 --> 00:01:12,447 How you ended up here and the journey God has had you on over the years. 25 00:01:13,239 --> 00:01:14,908 So let's just jump right into it. 26 00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:19,079 Tell me a little about where you're from and where your family is from originally. 27 00:01:19,454 --> 00:01:20,830 Sure. Yeah. 28 00:01:20,830 --> 00:01:26,503 So, my dad is originally from Germany and my mom from Switzerland, and they, 29 00:01:27,670 --> 00:01:29,672 were led to Ireland and got married here. 30 00:01:29,672 --> 00:01:31,633 And raised. 31 00:01:31,633 --> 00:01:34,636 I mean, we were all born and raised here in Ireland. 32 00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:37,889 yeah, it's kind of an interesting mix of cultures 33 00:01:37,889 --> 00:01:41,601 there with, just, you know, or 34 00:01:42,143 --> 00:01:45,605 the different people that we've interacted with and been around. 35 00:01:46,314 --> 00:01:48,566 Yeah. So, so you're in Ireland. 36 00:01:48,566 --> 00:01:50,652 What kind of church then? 37 00:01:50,652 --> 00:01:53,279 Like you're, you're raised Christian, I suppose. 38 00:01:53,279 --> 00:01:56,199 And what kind of church group were you part of at the time? 39 00:01:56,199 --> 00:01:56,533 Yeah. 40 00:01:56,533 --> 00:01:59,536 So, we were raised Christian. 41 00:01:59,702 --> 00:02:02,705 Our parents would have been first generation Christians, actually. 42 00:02:04,165 --> 00:02:08,002 They would have been involved in a mission, 43 00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:11,840 like an evangelical mission that started in India 44 00:02:12,048 --> 00:02:15,426 and branched out into America as well and different countries. 45 00:02:16,302 --> 00:02:21,099 So they would have been involved in that work. 46 00:02:21,474 --> 00:02:24,477 And through that, we never actually ended up 47 00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:27,480 joining a church in Ireland. 48 00:02:28,940 --> 00:02:31,943 Thinking back to it, there were pros and cons to that. 49 00:02:32,110 --> 00:02:34,070 I think one of the things that I appreciate about it 50 00:02:34,070 --> 00:02:39,117 is that we were able to, we felt free to go around to different churches, 51 00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:42,328 and not necessarily settle 52 00:02:42,328 --> 00:02:45,331 with one or like feel the need to be connected to one. 53 00:02:45,540 --> 00:02:49,460 But then on the flip side, it also kind of gave you that sense 54 00:02:49,460 --> 00:02:52,463 of not really belonging to one certain place. 55 00:02:53,298 --> 00:02:55,216 Also just with where we live, there 56 00:02:55,216 --> 00:02:58,428 wasn't or there wasn't a lot of different options. 57 00:02:58,428 --> 00:03:01,639 But yeah, we did go to different denominations 58 00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:05,435 and didn't necessarily put ourselves in the box of one denomination, I'd say. 59 00:03:07,270 --> 00:03:08,813 Describe some of those denominations. 60 00:03:08,813 --> 00:03:10,356 I'm just kind of curious 61 00:03:10,356 --> 00:03:14,152 what the church landscape would have been like where where you were growing up. 62 00:03:14,152 --> 00:03:14,694 Sure. 63 00:03:14,694 --> 00:03:19,449 So with where we lived, we tended to go to the north of Ireland. 64 00:03:19,490 --> 00:03:21,534 There was a lot more options up there. 65 00:03:21,534 --> 00:03:25,330 There was like independent Methodist, or Baptist, 66 00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:29,876 a lot of brethren churches as well. 67 00:03:30,293 --> 00:03:33,004 So there's quite a there's a bigger range up there 68 00:03:33,004 --> 00:03:34,464 than there would be in the South. 69 00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:37,800 And, you know, you just drive 45 minutes away 70 00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:41,054 and there was a lot more options and where we lived. 71 00:03:41,429 --> 00:03:42,972 So yeah, Yeah. 72 00:03:42,972 --> 00:03:45,850 So it sounds like you all weren't members in. Okay. 73 00:03:45,850 --> 00:03:47,227 We're part of this denomination. 74 00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:50,063 This is where we go to church. There's a lot more, 75 00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:51,189 yeah. Mobility, I guess. 76 00:03:51,189 --> 00:03:52,732 Or moving about in between. 77 00:03:52,732 --> 00:03:55,235 Between the options, I suppose. Yeah. 78 00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:59,697 There were churches that we tended to attend pretty regularly, 79 00:03:59,697 --> 00:04:03,409 but then there would go spells where we wouldn't attend that one as much. 80 00:04:04,035 --> 00:04:05,370 You know, different things. 81 00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:07,163 But then as we grew up, 82 00:04:07,163 --> 00:04:10,124 I saw that as challenging because then you would have, 83 00:04:10,124 --> 00:04:11,542 you know, some of the older siblings 84 00:04:11,542 --> 00:04:14,045 would feel one way about it and or parents would feel the other way. 85 00:04:14,045 --> 00:04:15,546 And then there was this 86 00:04:15,546 --> 00:04:19,133 there could be some tension about where we would go or even just the stress of, 87 00:04:19,509 --> 00:04:22,720 you know, our dad had to decide where would we go each Sunday. 88 00:04:23,638 --> 00:04:26,641 So there there's definitely a lot of benefit with having a, 89 00:04:27,392 --> 00:04:30,061 a steady place and a place that you're committed to. 90 00:04:31,688 --> 00:04:32,981 So I'd say 91 00:04:32,981 --> 00:04:36,526 pretty clearly you're not in that type of situation anymore. 92 00:04:36,734 --> 00:04:38,695 And somewhere in this journey 93 00:04:38,695 --> 00:04:42,782 you encountered Anabaptists or you know those teachings as values. 94 00:04:43,449 --> 00:04:47,036 But I don't typically think of Ireland or really Europe as a whole, 95 00:04:47,036 --> 00:04:50,290 as a, as a place that has a lot of Anabaptists 96 00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:52,166 or that type of teaching those types of churches 97 00:04:52,166 --> 00:04:55,670 and I guess you could say Europe as a whole feels very post-Christian. 98 00:04:55,712 --> 00:04:58,631 You know, there's not near the amount of Christian influence 99 00:04:58,631 --> 00:05:02,260 as it would have been in the past in this, in this part of the world. 100 00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:04,595 So tell me that story. 101 00:05:04,595 --> 00:05:07,765 Like how did you encounter Anabaptist teaching for the first time? 102 00:05:08,641 --> 00:05:12,520 so there was a bookshop in our town 103 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:15,606 that we lived in a Christian bookshop, and 104 00:05:17,275 --> 00:05:20,445 there was these little red Bibles that, like our dad would give each of us 105 00:05:20,445 --> 00:05:23,072 these little red Bibles, like a little, children's Bible. 106 00:05:23,072 --> 00:05:26,701 And I if I remember right, it was originally 107 00:05:26,784 --> 00:05:30,413 it was a, like, choice books is what brought them up there. 108 00:05:30,413 --> 00:05:32,707 So like, Dan and Barbara would have brought them up. 109 00:05:32,707 --> 00:05:35,585 They go around to lots of different bookstores across Ireland 110 00:05:35,585 --> 00:05:38,671 and bring Bibles and books to those bookshops. 111 00:05:38,671 --> 00:05:42,925 And so, the man who ran the bookshop knew who had brought the Bibles 112 00:05:42,925 --> 00:05:45,011 like he knew who it was. 113 00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:48,389 I can't remember quite how that connection was with the Anabaptist, but, 114 00:05:49,390 --> 00:05:53,436 my mom said that we had contacted them to, you know, to get in touch. 115 00:05:53,436 --> 00:05:56,022 There was some things that they were struggling with with, 116 00:05:57,315 --> 00:06:00,401 some of the older siblings, and they were just like, you know, they needed help. 117 00:06:00,401 --> 00:06:03,321 And so they turned to the Anabaptist or to, you know, 118 00:06:03,321 --> 00:06:06,991 they turned to the church down here to to look for some help. 119 00:06:07,658 --> 00:06:09,035 Somewhere in there as well. 120 00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:13,289 I have an aunt that lives in the States, and she has had a connection 121 00:06:13,289 --> 00:06:14,207 with Mennonites. 122 00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:17,168 And so she had she knew about choice books as well. 123 00:06:17,668 --> 00:06:21,172 And I believe that at some point she told my dad that there was a community 124 00:06:21,172 --> 00:06:21,839 in Ireland. 125 00:06:21,839 --> 00:06:25,093 So there was, you know, those two different connections. 126 00:06:26,594 --> 00:06:28,763 I can't remember quite how long ago it was, 127 00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:31,808 but it was probably in 2007 or so was 5 or 7. 128 00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:34,060 It's it was a quite a while back. 129 00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:35,520 And so at some point 130 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:39,065 my parents got in touch with Dan and Barbara and they came up and visited. 131 00:06:40,024 --> 00:06:43,027 So that was our first connection with them. 132 00:06:43,694 --> 00:06:46,781 And then over the years, we would come down and visit, 133 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:50,243 we would come for church some years we would, 134 00:06:50,451 --> 00:06:53,329 we would just come down on a Sunday morning and head back in the evening. 135 00:06:53,329 --> 00:06:54,664 Whoa. Okay. 136 00:06:54,664 --> 00:06:56,874 And so for context, you're living 137 00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:01,003 in the north of the country like it's it's a good 138 00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:04,882 a decent drive from here because we're all the way in the southern part of Ireland. 139 00:07:04,882 --> 00:07:06,634 Now, where the church is here? 140 00:07:06,634 --> 00:07:10,680 Wow. So, okay, that's that's the back and forth there. 141 00:07:11,305 --> 00:07:14,350 That must have taken a lot of effort, you know, and intentionality. 142 00:07:14,350 --> 00:07:15,852 How far away was it for you? 143 00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:18,855 It took anywhere from 4 to 6 hours, 144 00:07:19,021 --> 00:07:22,066 depending on, you know, there was different things that played into that. 145 00:07:22,066 --> 00:07:24,819 But we could do it in four hours. 146 00:07:24,819 --> 00:07:26,696 And yeah, it it did. 147 00:07:26,696 --> 00:07:30,450 It took a toll, especially on our parents, I'd say, because we would want to go. 148 00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:31,868 We would always want to go. 149 00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:35,163 But when we came home in the evening, it probably wasn't such a good idea. 150 00:07:36,789 --> 00:07:39,667 So I think it made it harder every time to to keep doing it. 151 00:07:39,667 --> 00:07:41,252 We didn't do it regularly. 152 00:07:41,252 --> 00:07:44,255 Some years we just came down once or twice. 153 00:07:44,255 --> 00:07:47,175 But no, there was always something special about coming down. 154 00:07:47,175 --> 00:07:49,177 We always wanted to, 155 00:07:49,177 --> 00:07:53,181 and so that's really your I guess the word that comes to 156 00:07:53,181 --> 00:07:56,225 mind is like gateway or entry point into this. 157 00:07:57,560 --> 00:08:00,396 Again on this podcast, we say, 158 00:08:00,396 --> 00:08:03,900 anabaptism as a worldview, not necessarily this, this fixed denomination. 159 00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:06,986 It's more here's how you view Scripture and the teachings of Jesus and so forth. 160 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:10,448 So these connection points with the church and, 161 00:08:10,865 --> 00:08:13,868 and anabaptist community here in the south of Ireland. 162 00:08:13,993 --> 00:08:15,828 That would have been an entry point 163 00:08:15,828 --> 00:08:19,040 in a lot of ways into this thread of teaching, I guess. 164 00:08:19,248 --> 00:08:20,833 Is that a fair way of saying it. Yeah. 165 00:08:21,959 --> 00:08:22,752 And then the church 166 00:08:22,752 --> 00:08:25,755 here started, a family conference. 167 00:08:26,631 --> 00:08:28,966 And they have been doing that every year for a couple of years. 168 00:08:28,966 --> 00:08:31,844 And so that was always a highlight for our family. 169 00:08:31,844 --> 00:08:34,847 We always made it a point to come down. 170 00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:38,267 And so far I've been able to attend every single one that they've had. 171 00:08:38,267 --> 00:08:42,021 And it's just been like over the years, just such a special 172 00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:43,814 time of coming together. 173 00:08:43,814 --> 00:08:48,027 And yeah, our family really enjoyed those times. 174 00:08:49,612 --> 00:08:51,864 So somewhere in this story 175 00:08:51,864 --> 00:08:54,367 there's a turning point or 176 00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:54,951 maybe turning 177 00:08:54,951 --> 00:08:58,996 point is not quite the right word, but ultimately you now live down here. 178 00:08:58,996 --> 00:09:00,540 So you moved to this area 179 00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:04,293 and I'm sure made some changes and, and became a part of this community. 180 00:09:04,835 --> 00:09:05,711 Tell me about that. 181 00:09:05,711 --> 00:09:08,130 Like what what was that turning point? When did that happen? 182 00:09:08,130 --> 00:09:11,926 What was happening in your life to say I think I'm going to consider 183 00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:13,261 coming down here. 184 00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:15,596 You're getting more involved in this community. 185 00:09:15,596 --> 00:09:18,224 What did that look like for you? Sure. So 186 00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:21,561 my I used to work with my 187 00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:26,566 dad, like me and my mom did, and over Covid, 188 00:09:26,607 --> 00:09:31,070 a lot of things changed, obviously with restrictions and things like that. 189 00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:34,532 And also that same year my my dad became unwell 190 00:09:35,116 --> 00:09:38,411 and, near the end of that year, he passed away. 191 00:09:38,911 --> 00:09:41,706 So there was just a lot of changes 192 00:09:41,706 --> 00:09:44,709 in our family's lives over that time. 193 00:09:44,875 --> 00:09:47,420 I basically didn't have a job anymore. 194 00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:52,425 And, over Covid, God led me to to start working as a home care assistant. 195 00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:54,552 So I had something to do. 196 00:09:54,552 --> 00:09:57,054 But at the same time, 197 00:09:57,054 --> 00:09:59,682 our church situation had changed a lot 198 00:09:59,682 --> 00:10:02,351 because of Covid and because we were, 199 00:10:02,351 --> 00:10:05,354 you know, churches were being shut down and everything was just online 200 00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:08,983 and it was around that time, 201 00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:12,862 the beginning of, 2021, 202 00:10:12,862 --> 00:10:17,325 I believe, that Anthony messaged my mom and was like, hey, you know, 203 00:10:17,783 --> 00:10:20,411 Would your daughter be able to come and help us out here? 204 00:10:20,411 --> 00:10:20,870 Because 205 00:10:21,829 --> 00:10:24,749 because they were trying to, 206 00:10:24,749 --> 00:10:28,419 or because of Covid, the, The visas that the volunteers were needing 207 00:10:28,419 --> 00:10:31,380 were taking a lot longer to be processed. And, 208 00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:35,468 the turnout with the volunteers, like one was going to be leaving soon 209 00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:38,012 and they needed someone to cover for that, that period of time, 210 00:10:38,012 --> 00:10:41,015 because they didn't know how long it would take for the replacement to come. 211 00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:45,311 So they needed someone to come for the summer, basically. 212 00:10:45,603 --> 00:10:50,107 And at that time, I kind of had a lot going 213 00:10:50,107 --> 00:10:53,944 on, and I, I didn't feel like I wanted to make that move. 214 00:10:54,028 --> 00:10:57,073 leaving our family at that time just felt like a lot. 215 00:10:57,073 --> 00:11:00,826 And, I decided that I would think and pray about it. 216 00:11:00,826 --> 00:11:03,037 And over the course of a couple weeks, 217 00:11:03,037 --> 00:11:06,290 I felt that the Lord was guiding me to make that move. 218 00:11:06,957 --> 00:11:10,461 I think one of the biggest reasons I made the move was for myself personally 219 00:11:10,461 --> 00:11:14,090 and just with where my spiritual life was going at that point, 220 00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:16,592 after experiencing 221 00:11:16,592 --> 00:11:20,429 my dad's passing and just how how much that changed my life. 222 00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:25,226 I realized that I needed something steadier. 223 00:11:25,226 --> 00:11:29,522 I needed people around me, I needed Christians in a church. 224 00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:34,652 And so for my spiritual wellbeing, I felt that I should move. 225 00:11:34,652 --> 00:11:37,905 And, I had a sister living down here as well 226 00:11:38,406 --> 00:11:41,409 at that time. And, 227 00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:43,786 so there was a lot of, 228 00:11:43,786 --> 00:11:46,831 you know, a lot of transitions that happened over that period. 229 00:11:46,831 --> 00:11:51,794 I was not expecting to stay longer than the summer. And, 230 00:11:52,878 --> 00:11:55,381 the Lord just worked on my heart, like, just slow. 231 00:11:55,381 --> 00:11:57,967 It was bit by bit. I didn't really think about it. 232 00:11:57,967 --> 00:12:00,511 I didn't really realize what was happening, and it just felt like 233 00:12:00,511 --> 00:12:04,432 God was using the little things to just guide me to, to stay longer. 234 00:12:04,473 --> 00:12:07,977 And, yeah, there was just different things 235 00:12:07,977 --> 00:12:11,230 that I was always like, you know, this is a great life. 236 00:12:11,230 --> 00:12:13,524 I love it here, but it's so different. 237 00:12:16,485 --> 00:12:19,155 And, you know, 238 00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:21,949 I felt like we could be Christians 239 00:12:21,949 --> 00:12:24,952 without having to be that different. 240 00:12:25,035 --> 00:12:27,955 And I'm not saying now that you can't, 241 00:12:27,955 --> 00:12:30,833 but there's there is a blessing in being different. 242 00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:34,211 And I felt that over the course of those months that I was here, 243 00:12:34,211 --> 00:12:38,799 I felt like God was just showing me that he delights in his people being different. 244 00:12:39,550 --> 00:12:42,011 And, and standing out in, in ways 245 00:12:42,011 --> 00:12:45,014 that the world doesn't always understand. 246 00:12:45,347 --> 00:12:47,099 And it's not that it's easy. 247 00:12:47,099 --> 00:12:49,310 It's not meant to be easy. 248 00:12:49,310 --> 00:12:52,480 But I think that there's a blessing in being willing to do that. 249 00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:56,859 It seems that a theme 250 00:12:56,859 --> 00:12:59,862 in this part of the story is 251 00:13:00,404 --> 00:13:03,115 the isolation or searching for a place 252 00:13:03,115 --> 00:13:06,118 or something to plug in, to be a part of. 253 00:13:06,827 --> 00:13:11,415 And we have incredible amounts of data on this now because of Covid. 254 00:13:11,665 --> 00:13:12,041 Right. 255 00:13:12,041 --> 00:13:15,127 And yesterday when we were chatting about this interview, 256 00:13:15,127 --> 00:13:18,464 you know, just before beforehand, before filming, 257 00:13:19,089 --> 00:13:21,967 you'd said something like, you know, when all the churches were 258 00:13:21,967 --> 00:13:24,553 shut down, everybody's isolating during Covid 259 00:13:24,553 --> 00:13:27,640 and, you know, so online services, everything goes to zoom. 260 00:13:28,015 --> 00:13:31,060 And it made a comment like, well, we could have just watched sermons online. 261 00:13:31,060 --> 00:13:33,395 I mean, like, why did why do we have to go to church on zoom? 262 00:13:33,395 --> 00:13:34,688 That's not the same thing. And 263 00:13:35,689 --> 00:13:37,691 I think that's a that's a really profound piece. 264 00:13:37,691 --> 00:13:41,445 And I think people now in a post-Covid world are realizing, 265 00:13:41,445 --> 00:13:45,491 wow, isolation is not good for us, you know, 266 00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:49,453 just on so many levels emotionally, spiritually, mentally and so forth. 267 00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:53,749 And it sounds like that's a pretty significant part of your story as well. 268 00:13:53,749 --> 00:13:56,752 Am I tracking in the right direction? Yeah. 269 00:13:56,794 --> 00:14:01,382 yeah, I think that our family was very isolated over the years. 270 00:14:01,382 --> 00:14:05,344 I mean, I know we were, but the thing is, sometimes you can be part of a church, 271 00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:08,347 sometimes you can attend churches and still feel isolated. 272 00:14:09,723 --> 00:14:12,852 Because there isn't that that connection 273 00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:16,564 beyond church, there's often just, oh, it's nice to see you. 274 00:14:16,564 --> 00:14:20,901 How are you and all of that, but not the real care that comes. 275 00:14:21,402 --> 00:14:24,613 Through living in more of a community 276 00:14:24,613 --> 00:14:27,908 setting and living amongst believers in this way. 277 00:14:30,327 --> 00:14:33,122 So that that would have been 278 00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:36,876 probably one of the bigger adjustments then for you coming down here. 279 00:14:36,917 --> 00:14:39,545 Community life would have been quite different 280 00:14:39,545 --> 00:14:41,463 than what you would have had previously. 281 00:14:41,463 --> 00:14:43,883 Is that is that a fair assessment? Definitely. Yeah. 282 00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,968 There is a lot of challenges that came with it. 283 00:14:45,968 --> 00:14:47,136 It wasn't all easy. 284 00:14:47,136 --> 00:14:49,889 And there are times that, 285 00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:53,225 I have to remind myself, like, I'm not used to this, and that's okay. 286 00:14:53,684 --> 00:14:56,687 And I have to give myself grace for that. 287 00:14:56,854 --> 00:14:58,606 There's so many blessings that have come with it. 288 00:14:58,606 --> 00:15:01,567 But at the same time, it's it can be challenging, 289 00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:03,903 you know, not growing up in that, 290 00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:07,281 that setting where so many people know each other and just are always there. 291 00:15:07,281 --> 00:15:10,534 It can be overwhelming and intimidating sometimes. 292 00:15:10,868 --> 00:15:13,203 that's a really good you know, that's a really good point. 293 00:15:13,203 --> 00:15:16,040 And I think that's a I'm really glad you said that. 294 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:19,043 I think that's an important piece for people listening who 295 00:15:19,627 --> 00:15:21,837 they've been going to this church, you know, their whole lives 296 00:15:21,837 --> 00:15:23,255 and this is their stable environment. 297 00:15:23,255 --> 00:15:26,258 And then someone new tries to enter that environment. 298 00:15:26,467 --> 00:15:28,928 We take so many things for granted of like, oh, this is 299 00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:31,138 this is how we do things and this is the way things are. 300 00:15:31,138 --> 00:15:36,268 And you can so quickly miss and maybe a new person entering that environment who is 301 00:15:37,269 --> 00:15:38,020 struggling with, 302 00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:41,440 whoa, this is a lot of changes, it's difficult, etc., whatever it might be. 303 00:15:41,857 --> 00:15:43,692 What you said there, I think is very important. 304 00:15:43,692 --> 00:15:46,946 Hopefully it raises an awareness for listeners to say, oh yeah, 305 00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:50,532 we should pay more attention when new people enter these environments. 306 00:15:50,532 --> 00:15:54,870 It's a it's challenging and we need to be gracious and etc.. 307 00:15:56,246 --> 00:15:58,832 And it's a, it's a one of the pieces I want to grab with this. 308 00:15:58,832 --> 00:16:01,502 So it's easy to be isolated in life. 309 00:16:01,502 --> 00:16:03,045 It's not 310 00:16:03,045 --> 00:16:06,840 too difficult to just kind of do your own thing and, and so forth. 311 00:16:07,591 --> 00:16:11,637 And you mentioned some of the adjustments and who's had some difficulties. 312 00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:13,681 And, you know, it's it's some change. 313 00:16:13,681 --> 00:16:17,518 But then what have you found that you value about community life. 314 00:16:17,518 --> 00:16:18,894 Like, name some of the 315 00:16:19,853 --> 00:16:22,856 benefits that you've gained from this change? 316 00:16:23,107 --> 00:16:25,317 Yeah, I think one of the biggest things that I have come to 317 00:16:25,317 --> 00:16:28,320 really appreciate is accountability. 318 00:16:29,071 --> 00:16:32,241 Just that connection that you have, 319 00:16:32,408 --> 00:16:36,787 like more than just loving and caring for each other beyond church life. 320 00:16:37,663 --> 00:16:39,707 But just the 321 00:16:39,707 --> 00:16:43,544 holding us accountable to things that God values 322 00:16:43,544 --> 00:16:46,922 and the things that he wants to see from us, 323 00:16:47,548 --> 00:16:51,468 like we're not made to be a church by ourselves. 324 00:16:51,468 --> 00:16:54,930 We're not made to be a Christian on our own. 325 00:16:54,930 --> 00:16:57,766 Like we need community. 326 00:16:57,766 --> 00:17:00,352 We need people around us to, yeah, keep 327 00:17:00,352 --> 00:17:00,602 We need people around us to, yeah, keep 328 00:17:00,602 --> 00:17:03,605 encouraging us in the way of the Lord. 329 00:17:04,106 --> 00:17:07,860 The church is supposed to be there as a body, and it's not 330 00:17:08,402 --> 00:17:12,197 the building that we go to on a Sunday and then leave for the rest of the week 331 00:17:12,197 --> 00:17:14,700 and hope, you know, we'll survive the rest of the week. 332 00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:17,619 It's more than that. It's in our everyday life. It's 333 00:17:18,579 --> 00:17:19,079 yeah, it's 334 00:17:19,079 --> 00:17:22,082 in the hard times and the good times. 335 00:17:22,958 --> 00:17:24,752 That's that's a challenge though 336 00:17:24,752 --> 00:17:29,006 because accountability can be kind of scary right. 337 00:17:29,381 --> 00:17:29,590 Yeah. 338 00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:32,259 Like was was that part of the part 339 00:17:32,259 --> 00:17:35,262 of the changes that you had to go through and process through that change? 340 00:17:36,013 --> 00:17:39,558 The accountability side of things because I'm, I'm from 341 00:17:39,933 --> 00:17:42,728 what's called the Bible Belt, I guess you could say or whatever in America. 342 00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:46,482 And it seems to me a lot of the people in my local area, 343 00:17:46,482 --> 00:17:48,192 they go to church on Sunday and then they kind of 344 00:17:48,192 --> 00:17:49,693 do whatever they do during the week. 345 00:17:49,693 --> 00:17:51,570 And that's kind of that, 346 00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:54,865 and accountability seems to me 347 00:17:54,865 --> 00:17:58,786 that that turns a lot of people off, like, oh, hey, I no, leave me alone. 348 00:17:58,786 --> 00:18:00,579 I want to do my own thing, thank you very much. 349 00:18:00,579 --> 00:18:03,123 Don't tell me what to do. That kind of attitude. 350 00:18:03,123 --> 00:18:06,627 Was that difficult for you to come around to that, or was or did you feel. 351 00:18:06,627 --> 00:18:09,797 Oh, no, I really need this for the good of my spiritual life. 352 00:18:09,797 --> 00:18:12,591 Or I'm not even sure quite how to ask the question, 353 00:18:12,591 --> 00:18:16,178 but I know accountability is a sticking point for a lot of people? 354 00:18:16,178 --> 00:18:18,055 Because it's not easy. A lot of times, 355 00:18:19,014 --> 00:18:19,473 Yeah. 356 00:18:19,473 --> 00:18:23,393 Oh, I think personally, for me, I really appreciated it. 357 00:18:24,561 --> 00:18:28,357 I have yeah. 358 00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:30,984 I've just always found it to be really good. 359 00:18:30,984 --> 00:18:34,530 Like, yes, it's challenging at times and sometimes you, 360 00:18:35,072 --> 00:18:38,075 you don't really want to hear what you're about to hear, 361 00:18:38,617 --> 00:18:41,703 but if you're willing to take it at face value, 362 00:18:41,745 --> 00:18:46,291 if you're willing to accept that it's for your benefit and that you know 363 00:18:46,291 --> 00:18:50,671 God uses other people to speak into our lives as well, it just 364 00:18:51,547 --> 00:18:54,133 he can use it for so much more. 365 00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:56,510 I like I started out with just, you know, 366 00:18:56,510 --> 00:18:59,471 one on one mentoring and that really helped me, 367 00:19:00,722 --> 00:19:03,767 going into an accountability setting where there were more 368 00:19:03,767 --> 00:19:06,770 than, you know, one person was challenging. 369 00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:11,358 But even in that, there's blessing in being able to share 370 00:19:11,358 --> 00:19:15,112 what's going on in our life in an open way, in a safe way, 371 00:19:15,737 --> 00:19:18,991 and not being judged for what's going on. 372 00:19:19,324 --> 00:19:23,871 You know, there's there's, there's grace and understanding 373 00:19:23,871 --> 00:19:27,166 and there's there's help that we receive through that as well. 374 00:19:28,792 --> 00:19:29,251 It might 375 00:19:29,251 --> 00:19:32,838 be one of those things that it's spiritually good for us, 376 00:19:33,046 --> 00:19:36,049 but that doesn't mean it's always easy. 377 00:19:37,217 --> 00:19:40,596 I think about that for my own self when it comes to accountability 378 00:19:40,637 --> 00:19:43,640 and many of the other things that go with with church life. 379 00:19:43,891 --> 00:19:44,892 Wow. You know, 380 00:19:44,892 --> 00:19:48,562 some days it just be really easy to just I just want to do my own thing. 381 00:19:48,562 --> 00:19:50,606 Okay? Just kind of leave me alone. 382 00:19:50,606 --> 00:19:53,442 But in the end, taken on the whole, 383 00:19:53,442 --> 00:19:56,653 would that be the proper spiritual formation that I actually need? 384 00:19:57,446 --> 00:19:59,031 You know, probably not. You know, like. 385 00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:01,408 And I have to bring myself back to that. 386 00:20:01,408 --> 00:20:04,286 I'm really glad you mentioned that, though, because that's 387 00:20:04,286 --> 00:20:05,454 that is a sticking point. 388 00:20:05,454 --> 00:20:09,791 You know, it's one of the big difficulties for, for many of us, myself included. 389 00:20:10,626 --> 00:20:10,834 Yeah. 390 00:20:10,834 --> 00:20:14,755 It's just pretty easy to say, I just want to do my own thing just leave me alone. 391 00:20:14,755 --> 00:20:15,130 Okay. 392 00:20:15,130 --> 00:20:19,593 You know, I mean, it's still a learning curve, like, I, I still have to, like, 393 00:20:20,093 --> 00:20:22,512 you know, there's times that I don't want it. 394 00:20:22,512 --> 00:20:25,807 And so I have to remind myself that this is what I actually need. 395 00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:28,227 So it's not all roses. Okay? Okay. 396 00:20:29,603 --> 00:20:30,520 Yep, yep. 397 00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:34,691 It's, church is difficult in that, you know, humans are involved and 398 00:20:35,734 --> 00:20:36,818 humans are complicated. 399 00:20:36,818 --> 00:20:37,819 And we can be selfish 400 00:20:37,819 --> 00:20:40,822 or sometimes not very nice to each other and all of those things. 401 00:20:41,740 --> 00:20:41,990 Yeah. 402 00:20:41,990 --> 00:20:45,661 So with with all this in mind, 403 00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:48,497 I'm sure there are people listening to this 404 00:20:48,497 --> 00:20:50,874 because we hear from them pretty, pretty often. 405 00:20:50,874 --> 00:20:51,875 And they're searching. 406 00:20:51,875 --> 00:20:54,962 They're searching for I want a place to belong. 407 00:20:55,003 --> 00:20:58,006 I'm trying to find a community to join, etc.. 408 00:20:58,548 --> 00:21:00,717 And we get this from from around the world. 409 00:21:00,717 --> 00:21:03,679 What would you say to those people that are on that journey? 410 00:21:03,679 --> 00:21:05,681 You know, they're they're looking for 411 00:21:05,681 --> 00:21:08,684 they're looking for a church or a community to be a part of. 412 00:21:09,059 --> 00:21:11,353 Is there words of encouragement that you would want to offer them? 413 00:21:12,688 --> 00:21:13,021 Yeah. 414 00:21:13,021 --> 00:21:16,108 It's challenging when you come to that place that you realize 415 00:21:16,108 --> 00:21:19,111 you need community, and you're maybe in a setting where you 416 00:21:19,444 --> 00:21:22,447 where it's not readily available. 417 00:21:23,573 --> 00:21:26,660 But I think what's most important is that 418 00:21:27,953 --> 00:21:31,873 we're willing to lay aside our own will and that we give it up to the Lord. 419 00:21:31,873 --> 00:21:34,459 I feel like he 420 00:21:34,459 --> 00:21:38,213 ultimately will guide in whatever way is right for that person. 421 00:21:39,381 --> 00:21:42,926 My journey led me here, but not everybody's journey does. 422 00:21:43,093 --> 00:21:47,097 And I think it's just important 423 00:21:47,097 --> 00:21:50,600 to seek the Lord and just leave it up to him, whatever happens. 424 00:21:51,226 --> 00:21:53,770 When I was making my ultimate decision 425 00:21:53,770 --> 00:21:57,274 to join the church or not, I had to admit that, you know, 426 00:21:57,691 --> 00:22:01,069 giving up to the Lord didn't mean that he was going to tell me. Yes. 427 00:22:01,528 --> 00:22:03,280 What if he told me no? 428 00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:06,575 What if he told me I was to move somewhere else, and I had to just 429 00:22:06,575 --> 00:22:10,412 lay that all down and just accept that in giving it to the Lord, 430 00:22:10,412 --> 00:22:14,041 I was allowing him to ultimately make the decision. 431 00:22:14,708 --> 00:22:18,211 And I had to be okay with whatever it was, even though it was scary. 432 00:22:18,211 --> 00:22:20,339 It was hard, but it did. 433 00:22:20,339 --> 00:22:24,259 It did end up with me joining the church and yeah, 434 00:22:24,968 --> 00:22:29,139 that in itself was it was a special, very special story for me. 435 00:22:30,724 --> 00:22:33,852 But I think that, you know, we just 436 00:22:34,686 --> 00:22:38,565 sometimes God allows us to build community in a different way. 437 00:22:39,483 --> 00:22:43,695 And, you know, it doesn't always mean joining the Anabaptist. 438 00:22:44,321 --> 00:22:47,699 I think that there's so much blessing in doing that. 439 00:22:47,699 --> 00:22:50,410 But it's not the only way to be a Christian as well. 440 00:22:50,410 --> 00:22:52,371 And so 441 00:22:52,371 --> 00:22:55,791 someone searching, they need to really seek out 442 00:22:55,791 --> 00:22:59,419 what God is wanting off of them, and just be willing to lay aside 443 00:22:59,419 --> 00:23:03,548 whatever their own desires are, and to let God lead. 444 00:23:04,424 --> 00:23:07,719 And I think an important piece that I keep hearing, 445 00:23:07,719 --> 00:23:11,348 kind of in the undercurrent of this story, is that it was a journey and a process. 446 00:23:12,015 --> 00:23:13,809 It wasn't like, 447 00:23:13,809 --> 00:23:15,185 boom, you woke up one day. 448 00:23:15,185 --> 00:23:16,520 This is where I'm supposed to be. 449 00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:19,564 And you make the decision and everything's all good. 450 00:23:20,273 --> 00:23:23,110 This is a long process, right? 451 00:23:23,110 --> 00:23:26,655 I mean, years in, you know, for at least some parts of this story. 452 00:23:26,988 --> 00:23:27,697 Yeah, definitely. 453 00:23:27,697 --> 00:23:30,700 It was it definitely took a while and it 454 00:23:31,118 --> 00:23:33,703 it wasn't something that I was actively seeking. 455 00:23:35,205 --> 00:23:36,873 I was not. 456 00:23:36,873 --> 00:23:39,334 I didn't come down here and be like, okay, God, what do you want of me? 457 00:23:39,334 --> 00:23:42,129 I was not expecting any of this. 458 00:23:42,129 --> 00:23:45,966 And it was just over time that God used so many little things 459 00:23:45,966 --> 00:23:48,969 to change my heart and just, 460 00:23:48,969 --> 00:23:51,972 you know, show me the importance of having a church, 461 00:23:53,849 --> 00:23:58,437 even even of baptism and, you know, things like that, things 462 00:23:58,437 --> 00:24:02,232 that my childhood had affected my view on. 463 00:24:02,983 --> 00:24:05,777 And like I, 464 00:24:05,777 --> 00:24:09,406 I had to admit that there was a point I was not interested in communion. 465 00:24:09,573 --> 00:24:12,492 Like I watched communion in other churches. 466 00:24:12,492 --> 00:24:15,996 And it just felt like there was so much lacking there. 467 00:24:16,872 --> 00:24:20,041 And I remember the first time that I sat in on a communion here, 468 00:24:21,334 --> 00:24:23,920 I was just like, God just did something in my heart. 469 00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:27,340 I was like, I actually want to be part of a church. 470 00:24:27,340 --> 00:24:28,800 I actually 471 00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:33,930 see the value in being a part of church and in being baptized and all of that. 472 00:24:33,972 --> 00:24:38,226 I was just, you know, before that there was no desire for it. 473 00:24:39,019 --> 00:24:42,022 But God just used so many little things to work in my heart. 474 00:24:43,815 --> 00:24:44,232 Even the 475 00:24:44,232 --> 00:24:47,611 thing of being different, like, I struggled with that for a while 476 00:24:48,153 --> 00:24:51,198 and just coming to realize, 477 00:24:51,198 --> 00:24:54,326 like, you know, there's there's more to this. 478 00:24:54,367 --> 00:24:57,370 Like, this is actually something that God delights in. 479 00:24:57,579 --> 00:24:59,539 He doesn't want us to blend in with the crowd. 480 00:24:59,539 --> 00:25:01,708 He wants us to be different. 481 00:25:01,708 --> 00:25:06,463 And I just found that very powerful as I was searching or sometimes 482 00:25:06,463 --> 00:25:09,799 not even searching, just kind of like, you know, noticing and just. 483 00:25:09,799 --> 00:25:10,634 Yeah. Yeah. 484 00:25:10,634 --> 00:25:13,637 I didn't realize what was happening necessarily, but. 485 00:25:13,887 --> 00:25:16,890 Yeah, But it seems in those 486 00:25:17,933 --> 00:25:20,936 things you were just describing there is an openness there. 487 00:25:21,937 --> 00:25:22,187 Right. 488 00:25:22,187 --> 00:25:23,188 I mean it feels like that 489 00:25:23,188 --> 00:25:26,191 could have been pretty easy to ignore and be like oh I don't just don't want to, 490 00:25:26,650 --> 00:25:27,859 I don't really want to think about that. 491 00:25:29,236 --> 00:25:30,487 So would you say a 492 00:25:30,487 --> 00:25:33,698 spirit of openness or, of of looking for answers? 493 00:25:33,698 --> 00:25:36,493 Was that a part of this picture for you? 494 00:25:36,493 --> 00:25:36,910 Yeah. 495 00:25:36,910 --> 00:25:40,747 I feel like I have always tried to be willing to let God 496 00:25:40,747 --> 00:25:43,750 guide me in whatever way he wanted. 497 00:25:45,001 --> 00:25:47,587 Ultimately, when I moved down here, 498 00:25:47,587 --> 00:25:50,590 I struggled with 499 00:25:50,590 --> 00:25:54,427 who I was, especially whenever I was outside the community. 500 00:25:54,427 --> 00:25:57,889 When I was visiting old friends or was with my family, I was like, 501 00:25:58,640 --> 00:26:00,100 what am I like? 502 00:26:00,100 --> 00:26:00,892 How do I go? 503 00:26:00,892 --> 00:26:06,189 Do I go as I used to be, just like, you know, conservative Christian? 504 00:26:06,189 --> 00:26:08,024 Or do I go being Mennonite? 505 00:26:08,024 --> 00:26:09,359 You know, I'm not part of the church. 506 00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:11,695 How do I dress? Yeah. 507 00:26:11,695 --> 00:26:17,284 And it was this battle, and a big turning point for me was actually 508 00:26:17,284 --> 00:26:20,287 when I was traveling with my brother, 509 00:26:20,287 --> 00:26:23,415 and I was we were backpacking. 510 00:26:23,415 --> 00:26:25,208 I knew I didn't have a lot of space, and I was like, 511 00:26:25,208 --> 00:26:28,295 I can't take two different styles of clothing with me. 512 00:26:28,295 --> 00:26:31,089 You know, I can't, you know, I don't have space for that. 513 00:26:31,089 --> 00:26:33,800 I need to go in one way or the other. 514 00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:36,845 And I just, I kind of battled with it for a while, and I was like, 515 00:26:36,845 --> 00:26:39,931 God, you have to give me peace in whatever way I go. 516 00:26:40,807 --> 00:26:42,517 Because I was going to see my grandma and there was like 517 00:26:42,517 --> 00:26:45,186 all these different things, and I was like, how do I want to be? 518 00:26:45,186 --> 00:26:47,397 How do I want to present myself? 519 00:26:47,397 --> 00:26:48,148 And I just felt that the that the Lord really guided me 520 00:26:48,148 --> 00:26:49,899 And I just felt that the that the Lord really guided me 521 00:26:50,942 --> 00:26:54,946 to, to go dressed as a Mennonite. 522 00:26:56,656 --> 00:26:59,868 And that was kind of a big turning point for me, just being willing 523 00:26:59,909 --> 00:27:03,705 to travel and be seen in the world as different. 524 00:27:03,705 --> 00:27:06,249 And our family was already different. 525 00:27:06,249 --> 00:27:09,252 We dressed conservatively already, you know, 526 00:27:10,670 --> 00:27:12,339 we would go out and town and be noticed. 527 00:27:12,339 --> 00:27:16,343 And so I had been used to that and didn't particularly enjoy that. 528 00:27:17,719 --> 00:27:22,891 Growing up and so to be that different just felt like why is this necessary? 529 00:27:22,932 --> 00:27:26,144 You know, but I feel like the Lord really blessed me in that. 530 00:27:26,144 --> 00:27:28,355 And just I had so much peace. 531 00:27:28,355 --> 00:27:31,524 I just felt so confident and never bothered me. 532 00:27:31,524 --> 00:27:34,736 You know, I was just like, wow, this is definitely of the Lord. 533 00:27:36,029 --> 00:27:38,698 So it felt like there was a big turning point there. 534 00:27:38,698 --> 00:27:42,952 And when I returned home, from that trip, all of a sudden 535 00:27:42,952 --> 00:27:47,040 the Lord put it on my heart that I, you know, why am I 536 00:27:48,041 --> 00:27:50,835 why am I still not committed? 537 00:27:50,835 --> 00:27:53,838 I was very involved in the church at that time. 538 00:27:53,922 --> 00:27:57,550 I think one of the biggest things for me was that I was covering my head, 539 00:27:57,550 --> 00:28:00,470 but I was not wearing the veil that the church wore here. 540 00:28:00,470 --> 00:28:02,013 I was not wearing a white veil. 541 00:28:02,013 --> 00:28:03,973 And that's a decision I had made from the beginning. 542 00:28:03,973 --> 00:28:05,892 I was like, I'm not going to wear a white veil 543 00:28:05,892 --> 00:28:09,104 when I moved down here, because I didn't want to pretend to be something 544 00:28:09,104 --> 00:28:12,399 that I wasn't And I felt that that was right for me at that time. 545 00:28:12,399 --> 00:28:15,568 But then I was like, I'm so involved in the church, 546 00:28:16,319 --> 00:28:19,739 and yet why am I not committing to more? 547 00:28:21,366 --> 00:28:24,327 What am I portraying by not, 548 00:28:24,536 --> 00:28:27,664 you know, by wearing something different than what the church standards were? 549 00:28:29,916 --> 00:28:31,960 And I was just like, 550 00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:34,713 God, you just, like, helped me travel or, 551 00:28:34,713 --> 00:28:37,549 you know, dressed differently. Why? 552 00:28:37,549 --> 00:28:38,425 Why all of a sudden 553 00:28:38,425 --> 00:28:41,553 do I have to deal with this thing of, like, what head covering I wear? 554 00:28:41,594 --> 00:28:43,388 Like, what's the big deal there? 555 00:28:43,388 --> 00:28:47,183 And I just, you know, kind of battled with it for a while. 556 00:28:48,184 --> 00:28:51,062 I think the thing that made me struggle with it was 557 00:28:51,062 --> 00:28:54,649 I wanted to know what God's will was, and I didn't want to be just changing. 558 00:28:54,649 --> 00:28:57,569 So that I would fit in. 559 00:28:57,569 --> 00:29:00,488 Yeah, because that would be the easy choice, right? 560 00:29:00,488 --> 00:29:01,740 I just kind of fit in there. 561 00:29:01,740 --> 00:29:03,450 Yeah, yeah, I see that. 562 00:29:03,450 --> 00:29:06,703 And I told my family, I'm like, if I change my head covering, 563 00:29:06,703 --> 00:29:08,288 you do realize that 564 00:29:08,288 --> 00:29:11,875 I'm, I'm committing to more like, ultimately I will join the church then. 565 00:29:12,834 --> 00:29:15,378 Because I knew at that point that's what was going to happen. 566 00:29:15,378 --> 00:29:19,090 I was not going to change my head covering and then, you know, not join the church. 567 00:29:20,425 --> 00:29:22,177 I didn't want to deal with the fact of 568 00:29:22,177 --> 00:29:25,180 when I'm outside the community, what am I going to be again? 569 00:29:26,139 --> 00:29:29,142 And so there was just this, 570 00:29:29,476 --> 00:29:33,480 you know, I would Sundays would come and I would just have this 571 00:29:33,855 --> 00:29:36,816 strong urge to, like, change my head covering. 572 00:29:37,275 --> 00:29:39,903 And it was intense. 573 00:29:39,903 --> 00:29:41,863 It was interesting. I didn't really know why. 574 00:29:41,863 --> 00:29:45,158 It was why all of a sudden I had this this urge. 575 00:29:45,158 --> 00:29:48,578 And, I held off for a while because I was like, 576 00:29:49,370 --> 00:29:51,915 I don't want to do this on a Sunday and then not the rest of the week. 577 00:29:51,915 --> 00:29:55,335 Like, I don't want to just wear whatever I want, you know, during the week, 578 00:29:55,710 --> 00:29:56,669 I wanted to 579 00:29:57,796 --> 00:30:00,799 make a change and actually stick with it. 580 00:30:01,174 --> 00:30:04,719 So I remember one Sunday in our ladies 581 00:30:04,719 --> 00:30:08,807 Sunday School class, the story of Joshua 582 00:30:08,807 --> 00:30:11,810 and the walls of Jericho was being talked about. 583 00:30:12,060 --> 00:30:15,730 And again, it just felt like the the Lord was impressing 584 00:30:15,730 --> 00:30:19,192 upon me that he wanted his people to be different. 585 00:30:19,567 --> 00:30:22,570 He had his people walk around the walls at Jericho and they were like, 586 00:30:23,071 --> 00:30:25,949 there they were outside, walking around silently 587 00:30:25,949 --> 00:30:30,119 and everyone within the city was surely not silently watching them. 588 00:30:30,787 --> 00:30:34,415 You know, I'm sure that they had things to say and things to throw at them 589 00:30:34,415 --> 00:30:37,418 and whatnot, you know, especially after a couple of days had passed. 590 00:30:37,836 --> 00:30:40,046 But God made his people go through that. 591 00:30:40,046 --> 00:30:43,508 They had to walk around for seven days in silence and 592 00:30:44,551 --> 00:30:45,051 so it just 593 00:30:45,051 --> 00:30:48,054 kind of really stood out to me again, you know, we’re to be different. 594 00:30:48,930 --> 00:30:51,140 And so 595 00:30:51,140 --> 00:30:54,310 I remember ringing my mom and I was just like, well, what do I do with this? 596 00:30:54,310 --> 00:30:57,272 Like, here's this thing again, you know, so in front of me. 597 00:30:57,730 --> 00:30:58,773 And it was so interesting. 598 00:30:58,773 --> 00:31:03,403 She was like, hey, wait a minute, they're walking here, Jericho, for seven days. 599 00:31:03,403 --> 00:31:05,613 Maybe you need to walk around Jericho for seven days. 600 00:31:05,613 --> 00:31:08,074 Like, here you are, you're battling with this. 601 00:31:08,074 --> 00:31:10,451 You need to make a decision. 602 00:31:10,451 --> 00:31:14,622 And so I was just like, oh, but, like, that would be terrible, scary, you know? 603 00:31:14,622 --> 00:31:16,499 Like, that would be the ultimatum. 604 00:31:16,499 --> 00:31:19,377 I'd be like, here, God, you got to give me an answer. 605 00:31:19,377 --> 00:31:23,673 And so I was like, okay, wait, what more can I do than admit it’s scary. 606 00:31:23,673 --> 00:31:25,592 And just go for it? 607 00:31:25,592 --> 00:31:28,386 So there were there ultimately three things that I wanted 608 00:31:28,386 --> 00:31:31,431 to know from God, like I needed him to show me. 609 00:31:32,599 --> 00:31:36,102 Before I just made my own decision. 610 00:31:36,102 --> 00:31:39,063 I needed to know clearly that it was off of him. 611 00:31:39,188 --> 00:31:42,275 And so I, I did I took the seven days 612 00:31:42,567 --> 00:31:45,570 of walking around Jericho, basically 613 00:31:45,737 --> 00:31:50,199 just really praying about it and seeking God's face about it. 614 00:31:50,867 --> 00:31:53,786 And one of the things was that I really wanted 615 00:31:53,786 --> 00:31:56,873 someone to talk to me about how I felt about the head covering, 616 00:31:57,749 --> 00:32:02,253 I had had some conversations, but, you know, just I there hadn't been a lot, 617 00:32:02,253 --> 00:32:07,383 but randomly someone asked me and it was just like, okay, there's an answer. 618 00:32:07,383 --> 00:32:10,762 Like, here someone comes to me and asks me where I am with it. 619 00:32:11,304 --> 00:32:13,264 And so I just shared them that I was like 620 00:32:13,264 --> 00:32:16,100 shared with them that I was going through this time. 621 00:32:16,100 --> 00:32:20,188 And, yeah, I was just kind of struggling with, how is God going to give his answer? 622 00:32:20,188 --> 00:32:22,607 How will I know his answer? 623 00:32:22,607 --> 00:32:25,735 And so a friend had shared with me this podcast, 624 00:32:27,070 --> 00:32:28,529 it was on Elizabeth Elliot. 625 00:32:28,529 --> 00:32:34,285 She was sharing something and it just really stood out to me. 626 00:32:34,285 --> 00:32:38,873 And I think what was really special was this poem that she read in there. 627 00:32:38,873 --> 00:32:41,709 And that kind of is what ultimately gave me my answer. 628 00:32:41,709 --> 00:32:44,712 I like this is what I'm supposed to do. 629 00:32:45,588 --> 00:32:48,257 So the poem goes like this. 630 00:32:48,257 --> 00:32:50,510 It's going called, “Do the Next Thing”. 631 00:32:50,510 --> 00:32:53,346 from an old English parsonage down by the sea. 632 00:32:53,346 --> 00:32:56,140 There came in the twilight a message to me. 633 00:32:56,140 --> 00:33:00,812 It’s quaint Saxon legend, deeply engraved, hath, as it seems to me. 634 00:33:00,812 --> 00:33:03,731 Teachings from heaven and on through the hours. 635 00:33:03,731 --> 00:33:06,734 The quiet words ring like a low inspiration. 636 00:33:06,776 --> 00:33:08,820 Do the next thing. 637 00:33:08,820 --> 00:33:12,532 Many a questioning, many a fear, many a doubt. 638 00:33:12,657 --> 00:33:15,034 Had its quietning here. 639 00:33:15,034 --> 00:33:17,829 Moment by moment let down from heaven. 640 00:33:17,829 --> 00:33:20,832 Time, opportunity, guidance are given. 641 00:33:21,374 --> 00:33:23,835 Fear not tomorrows, child of the King. 642 00:33:23,835 --> 00:33:28,464 Trust them with Jesus, do the next thing, do it immediately. 643 00:33:28,923 --> 00:33:30,675 Do it with prayer. 644 00:33:30,675 --> 00:33:33,636 Do it reliantly, Casting all care. 645 00:33:33,636 --> 00:33:35,346 Do it with reverence. 646 00:33:35,346 --> 00:33:39,308 Tracing his hand, who placed it before thee with earnest command. 647 00:33:40,059 --> 00:33:41,686 Stayed on omnipotence. 648 00:33:41,686 --> 00:33:47,567 Safe neath his wings, leave all resulting do the next thing looking to 649 00:33:47,567 --> 00:33:50,778 Jesus ever serener, working or suffering, 650 00:33:50,778 --> 00:33:53,865 be thy demeanor in his dear presence. 651 00:33:53,865 --> 00:33:57,910 The rest of his calm, the light of his countenance, be thy song. 652 00:33:58,578 --> 00:34:00,079 Strong in his faithfulness. 653 00:34:00,079 --> 00:34:01,831 Praise and sing. 654 00:34:01,831 --> 00:34:04,834 Then, as he beckons thee, do the next thing. 655 00:34:06,419 --> 00:34:08,629 And that just really stood out to me. 656 00:34:08,629 --> 00:34:13,092 And I just yeah, I just knew that it was the next thing for me 657 00:34:13,092 --> 00:34:16,095 and that it was the right thing for me to do. 658 00:34:16,596 --> 00:34:19,724 So that was just a really special moment for me. 659 00:34:19,724 --> 00:34:23,478 And I think what was special was at the end 660 00:34:23,478 --> 00:34:27,690 of the seven Days of Silence, the people were supposed to shout, 661 00:34:28,858 --> 00:34:31,110 and I was like, 662 00:34:31,110 --> 00:34:34,280 my way of proclaiming what God had done for me 663 00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:38,242 was in changing my head covering and wearing the white then. 664 00:34:38,242 --> 00:34:41,746 And yeah, ultimately taking instruction 665 00:34:41,788 --> 00:34:44,791 class and committing to to joining the church. 666 00:34:44,999 --> 00:34:48,127 And yeah, I've just found so much blessing in doing that. 667 00:34:49,754 --> 00:34:52,757 The, the power of the next step 668 00:34:53,007 --> 00:34:55,843 or choosing, okay, I'm going to take the next step. 669 00:34:55,843 --> 00:34:59,138 I'm going to keep moving forward with what God is asking me to do. 670 00:35:00,473 --> 00:35:01,933 Wow. That's 671 00:35:01,933 --> 00:35:06,270 you know, that that's hard oftentimes. Wow. 672 00:35:07,105 --> 00:35:10,608 And again, I think we we touched on this a little early in its process 673 00:35:10,608 --> 00:35:13,611 and the journey, clearly, as you're describing, 674 00:35:13,736 --> 00:35:17,281 you know, in this particular case or maybe there's other cases to you 675 00:35:17,281 --> 00:35:20,284 and I'm sure people listening will think, oh yeah, I mean, what is that? 676 00:35:20,576 --> 00:35:23,371 What is the next thing that God wants me to do. 677 00:35:23,371 --> 00:35:26,374 And yeah that's a lot to think about. 678 00:35:27,792 --> 00:35:30,795 I think it's really good to be sensitive to, 679 00:35:30,878 --> 00:35:33,005 you know, where God is leading us. 680 00:35:33,005 --> 00:35:38,177 And, where it will go, like, I, I know I could have made that decision 681 00:35:38,636 --> 00:35:41,639 because I felt it was right, but for me, it just 682 00:35:41,764 --> 00:35:44,308 I just needed to know that it was right for me now. 683 00:35:44,308 --> 00:35:47,019 But that's actually what God wanted me to do. 684 00:35:47,019 --> 00:35:50,314 Versus you could have easily said, oh, I'm just going to fit 685 00:35:50,314 --> 00:35:51,440 and, you know, with the rest of the church 686 00:35:51,440 --> 00:35:54,152 and just kind of just do it and that that's that. 687 00:35:54,152 --> 00:35:57,155 And you clearly went a lot deeper than that, you know. 688 00:35:57,155 --> 00:36:00,158 And that's I think that's pretty important. 689 00:36:00,408 --> 00:36:01,409 Yeah. 690 00:36:01,409 --> 00:36:04,620 So is there anything else you'd like to leave with our listeners 691 00:36:04,620 --> 00:36:06,747 by way of encouragement or. 692 00:36:06,747 --> 00:36:08,457 Yeah. As we, as we wrap this up, 693 00:36:10,293 --> 00:36:11,460 and or maybe another 694 00:36:11,460 --> 00:36:14,505 part of the story that, that we should, capture here. 695 00:36:15,256 --> 00:36:17,550 Yeah. I think that 696 00:36:17,550 --> 00:36:21,179 it's important to remember that ultimately, God's in our story. 697 00:36:22,388 --> 00:36:23,598 He's the one that guides us. 698 00:36:23,598 --> 00:36:26,601 He's the one that, you know, 699 00:36:27,768 --> 00:36:29,896 he's the one that leads us to where we are now. 700 00:36:29,896 --> 00:36:31,314 And each of us are on, 701 00:36:31,314 --> 00:36:34,358 on different journeys, like, none of us are going to have the same story. 702 00:36:34,984 --> 00:36:37,862 And I think that's the the beautiful thing about it, 703 00:36:37,862 --> 00:36:40,865 when we allow God to 704 00:36:41,282 --> 00:36:43,743 be the hero in our story, you know, he's 705 00:36:43,743 --> 00:36:47,288 the one that brings us to the place that we are today. 706 00:36:47,747 --> 00:36:51,584 And you know, our my story is not finished. 707 00:36:51,834 --> 00:36:53,085 I have a lot to learn. 708 00:36:53,085 --> 00:36:54,587 I have a lot of growing to do. 709 00:36:55,922 --> 00:36:57,924 There's challenges that I face, 710 00:36:57,924 --> 00:37:01,052 even in living in such a good setting, 711 00:37:01,052 --> 00:37:04,055 in such a healthy setting. 712 00:37:04,096 --> 00:37:07,016 But just remembering that 713 00:37:07,016 --> 00:37:09,602 we just need to keep doing the right thing. 714 00:37:09,602 --> 00:37:12,521 The thing that's ahead of us, the thing that God is 715 00:37:12,521 --> 00:37:15,524 guiding us in doing and 716 00:37:15,942 --> 00:37:18,861 yeah, it's it's not about my story, 717 00:37:18,861 --> 00:37:22,365 and it's not about who I am and where I've come from. 718 00:37:22,365 --> 00:37:26,953 It's ultimately what God has done in my life and how he's led me. 719 00:37:26,953 --> 00:37:28,079 And just being willing to let our story 720 00:37:28,079 --> 00:37:30,081 And just being willing to let our story 721 00:37:30,081 --> 00:37:33,084 be something that glorifies God. 722 00:37:33,918 --> 00:37:36,170 Yeah, I think that's that's the biggest thing for me. 723 00:37:36,170 --> 00:37:39,173 I don't want it to be about me and 724 00:37:39,882 --> 00:37:40,508 any of that. 725 00:37:40,508 --> 00:37:44,804 It's just all what the Lord has done and how he's carried me 726 00:37:44,804 --> 00:37:47,181 through these last, especially these last four years. 727 00:37:47,181 --> 00:37:51,978 Like there's been a lot of a lot of grace and, 728 00:37:53,020 --> 00:37:55,564 yeah, a lot of growth. 729 00:37:55,564 --> 00:37:55,815 Yeah. 730 00:37:55,815 --> 00:37:59,235 I have to think of the prophet Isaiah says something to that effect. 731 00:37:59,235 --> 00:38:02,530 You know, God says of his people, you are my witnesses 732 00:38:02,530 --> 00:38:05,491 and you'll bear witness of what I've done for you. 733 00:38:05,783 --> 00:38:08,619 And the whole point there is, is what God has done for us. 734 00:38:08,619 --> 00:38:11,080 And then we'll share that then with others. 735 00:38:11,080 --> 00:38:14,041 I feel like that's what you've done with us here today. 736 00:38:14,583 --> 00:38:18,838 Tirzah, thank you so much for coming on the podcast and sharing your story. 737 00:38:18,879 --> 00:38:22,550 I hope this is an encouragement to many people. And, 738 00:38:23,884 --> 00:38:27,430 I'm sure there's people listening that are in various stages of their own journey. 739 00:38:28,055 --> 00:38:31,142 And I think you gave them a lot to think about today. 740 00:38:31,142 --> 00:38:33,602 So thank you. Thank you. 741 00:38:34,437 --> 00:38:36,981 Thanks for listening to this episode with Tirzah. 742 00:38:36,981 --> 00:38:39,942 If you found this interesting, you should check out this episode 743 00:38:39,942 --> 00:38:41,444 we did with Samantha Bender 744 00:38:41,444 --> 00:38:45,531 on the topic of Is Mennonite a Faith Culture or an Ethnic Culture? 745 00:38:45,698 --> 00:38:48,701 You can find that linked in the description down below. 746 00:38:49,076 --> 00:38:49,744 You can, of course, 747 00:38:49,744 --> 00:38:54,206 find all our content on our website at anabaptistperspectives.org. 748 00:38:54,415 --> 00:38:58,002 Thanks again for listening, and we'll catch you in the next episode.