0:00 - Speaker 2

This topic should be if I only knew, if I only knew. And the bottom line of all of this is when you start to pay attention to your energetic ebb and flows, regardless of whether you're bleeding, regardless of whether you follow the moon, if you pay attention, it is the most insane, epic wisdom for yourself, for your family, for your business, for your relationships, all of the above. Like when I learned why I was annoyed when there was a dish in the sink versus when I could give a shit, because that's the example I use all the time is, do you ever walk in the kitchen and you're like, oh my God, why is that dish there or fork there?

0:42 - Speaker 1

And then other times- Deb, I have a toddler. I find things in places you know. But aren't there sometimes where you don't care?

0:52 - Speaker 2

There's sometimes you walk by, it doesn't bother you and other times you're like, I can't even have a crumb in that corner. Like you notice those things. That's the things that I bring to the surface. And that, when you align that with your work for content creation, you don't get burnt out. You're using your superpower of creativity when you need to. You're sitting back and coasting when you should be, right? Instead of constantly being on that creation hamster wheel or idea, whatever it is in your business, it doesn't matter. For your audience, it's showing up when you feel like it most and doing the stuff that's most important behind the scenes in your business on the other times of the month, right? Other days, other weeks, whatever. So I love this topic. So much to uncover. Yeah. So the more we talk about it, the more women know about it, the more women can use it to their benefits and also share it with their kids and their friends, you know?

1:44 - Speaker 1

So it's a mission. Let's start from the beginning. Wait, let's, let's do this to me beginning because I think like your origins are, you are a traditional marketer, digital marketer. I mean, like you were the first one saying to me, like, get an email list, Emily. I mean, like I, and you were on my podcast, probably the first 10 episodes or something. Yeah. I think it's 16.

2:06 - Speaker 2

I remember where I was sitting. I, yeah, I think so.

2:09 - Speaker 1

I love that. Like I, and I know we stay in touch over the years and you know, we, we run parallel to each other. Right. And like, I think there's so much to be said for like, also just to give you props, like sticking with like having your own business. I mean, like how long would you, how long are you like, I've been an official entrepreneur for at this point?

2:31 - Speaker 2

Um, so probably 15 years, 15. I mean, I, well, and I, I've been an online business owner for that amount of time. I mean, I've been doing this online long before COVID long before zoom, you know, we found a way, but, um, remember free conference calls That was like the first way I did.

2:52 - Speaker 1

I like, I would press a certain number just to like talk to the person. I'd be like, well, like I joke, but that was like maybe 10 years ago. It wasn't even that long ago that we were like still very archaic on all this.

3:03 - Speaker 2

And I think- How about the fact that Facebook didn't even have business pages when I started. There was no business, it was profiles only, right? And then they did the switch or they split, right? And people were like, well, why? And I was like, yep, like here's why. And it was such a huge gift. I mean, we can get into all that and all the gifts that Meta gives us and everybody wants to complain, but like, it's fricking free people.

3:27 - Unidentified Speaker

Free.

3:29 - Speaker 1

Why aren't you using it? Do you still run your free Facebook group? Because that's where I feel like a lot of my people have come into your free Facebook group. You do monthly challenges. You have great advice. And listen, I have to be honest too. You're a smart woman. You know what's going on. You are kind of like the customer, too, for a boutique owner. So I think you are really good at coming up with great ideas. And I don't know, I love that you are just really dedicated to small, like local businesses, too. Like, yes, you have a digital presence, and I don't want to discount that. But I really truly like for me, living in a town like where I grew up now where I live in Andover, right, like we have a lot of just like small downtown businesses, Littleton's growing, you know, like, I think for me, it's it's those are the people who I think are a little bit over their heads too. And something like this can really help because they do have to show up in person a lot. They do. And just boutique owners in general, we've got to be on camera, all this stuff. And you, I know you and I, we all are in agreement that there's those days where I'm like, I don't want to leave my house. I'm crusty. I haven't brushed my teeth. I slept until noon because I stayed up until four. Like, well, let's start from there. Like motherhood. Yeah. Well, and add all the hormones of IVF. I mean, like if I walked you through my traumas from the past five years, you'd be like, cool, Emily, I'm glad you have a therapist, you know?

4:55 - Speaker 2

You know the story that I was going to call my business, business therapy. And my husband was like, nobody is going to write a check to you, business therapy. And like, that is what I do. The bottom line is I coach people through the shit that they're in so that they can show up more authentically in a way without it's burning out. And I just think like, if you're a woman, you need to know why you feel like this and like this. And many women, I would say more than not, don't even realize that it's something that they can acknowledge, embrace and use to their advantage. That is, that is the bottom line of this going to be this conversation.

5:34 - Speaker 1

So not a weakness. Yeah, let's get into it. No, no, no, I love it. Okay. I'm calling it cycle thinking. That's what I've been calling it. Is that what you officially call it?

5:43 - Speaker 2

I mean, for me, specifically from a marketing standpoint, I basically say creating content with your cycle, not against it. I mean, it's basically cyclical content creation.

5:56 - Speaker 1

Yep. Yep. So, okay. I come to you. I'm like, Deb, I've got a pretty good business, but I feel like I'm missing that thing. I feel like could be a better marketer. I mean, I know we can all be better marketers every day of our lives. But you know, in terms of like, I'm, I'm on the verge of burnout, like I'm really struggling with like, managing it all. I do have a team, maybe I have an assistant or VA or, you know, like, where are you going to start off with me and in getting me aligned so that I feel better quickly, like in 30 days, like, what could I make some quick action around to like lean into the fact that I'm a woman, I have a cycle, my hormones are up and down, and that's cool, but like, let's like, as you say, go with it

6:45 - Speaker 2

rather than fight it. Right. That's a great question. I mean, I think there's two things that I would talk to you about. And first, I might do an audit of what you have been doing over the last 30 days, because I can see the patterns. But for you, I would ask you to track your highs and lows, your energetic ebbs and flows for just 30 days. And I would talk about the phases of your cycle because maybe you don't even know what they are. Maybe you only pay attention to when you bleed. That might be what most women, whether they're in their twenties, thirties, forties, until really you are trying to conceive. If you are trying to conceive, you really weren't taught, spoken to about the different phases. There are four phases of your menstrual cycle. It's not just when you It's the before the bleeding, after the bleeding, and then the ovulation. And so when you break up your 30 days into potentially four weeks, right? If you were to print off a 30 day calendar, and if you today, if today was the day we were meeting, I would say start tracking on a scale of one to five, your ebbs and flows, but also write down what you felt like doing. This is connecting with your gut, with your intuition, with your heart, and there's no good and bad. This is the key. When you start looking at the ebbs and flows of your energy, there's no good and bad. Nothing is good or bad. It is just putting a pin in it so that you can see what your weeks look like and when you can be more productive, more creative, and also when you could do more behind-the-scenes stuff versus we'll talk about going live, right, or going to a photo shoot, or doing a podcast. You haven't even asked me, Emily, where am I in my cycle? Well, I am not in luteal or menstrual. I am somewhere between follicular and ovulation. Do you hear the high vibe in my voice? Do you see that I'm comfortable being on camera? It's because of the phase I'm in. Now, if 10 days ago you wanted to have this call, which we were supposed to, but it was actually on the front end, not the middle or the end of my luteal phase, I would have not been this high vibe. I might be wearing black. I might not have had my hair down. I might've had a bun. Maybe I didn't put the gold earrings on. You know, there would be things that would be different about me and you'd probably, you'd notice it. You would notice it. And that's because I know about my cycle. Yeah. It is the biggest superpower that women need to start embracing.

9:21 - Speaker 1

Okay. I'm someone who's going to hear from the audience, But Emily, I wake up every day, I'm tired, and I don't really want to do anything. I'm overwhelmed. I don't know where to start. How are you coaching me through bridging the gap from feeling maybe disconnected from my body, overstimulated? Again, I have a toddler, so I'm just like, a great case study for this. And this is why I know it works. Because there is a lot on women's plates. I had a friend say to me recently, we're going to look back in time and say, wow, we were really bad to women for a while there, you know? And I think this is one of those tools that I think women are trying to harness to give control back to the overstimulation, the pressures we have. So like, where are you telling me to notice or like, what's your advice for me? I'm disconnected. I just feel tired. Yeah.

10:13 - Speaker 2

And maybe, so maybe we take a step back from the menstrual cycle and look at the seasons because this is not new knowledge. There are four seasons in a year and each one of them has a different purpose. So Emily, you and I are from farm country, right? Where we want the farms to stay and to continue to feed our communities. And if you were a farmer, there would be times of the year where you would be just planting and nobody would see the fruits of your labor. There would be time where you would be turning the soil and nothing would be produced, right? You would be enjoying those leaves dying and crumbling. And like, I think we need to embrace the different seasons that Mother Nature herself has around us. So you mentioned like, I wake up, you know, one of your listeners is going to say, but I wake up every day tired. Well, that's okay. So let's just look at today. Like what happened yesterday that might be bringing us to be very tired this morning? Did we eat what we needed to do? Did we drink the water? Are we hydrated? I mean, we're so quick to to look for external things. And I'd say like, what did you do to fuel your body yesterday? Or did you go to bed a little later? Were you scrolling on Instagram or Facebook for inspiration last night before you went to bed? Do you need to add some sort of vegetables or fruits or supplements that might help you sleep better? Because sleep is a whole other thing. But if we think of the seasons, right? If we think of winter and we think of winter as like, the quiet, the dark, less energy, maybe it's just ideas are coming, right? That's also aligned with menstrual cycle when the ideas come, but you don't need to do anything with them. And it's very possible that if one of your listeners or even you, Emily, are feeling like, I get an idea, I run to Canva, I create the graphic, I post it on social, I go, I get an idea. And so like that is not cyclical content creation. That is not cyclical a living either. Allow the ideas to come. Put them in a jar.

12:17 - Speaker 1

There's going to be downtimes and there's going to be uptimes. I think you're totally right in that like we are forcing a little bit. And I, we used to go away. I love that you brought up seasons because we used to go away to Guatemala for the winter where it's 75 and sunny every day. Like we would get there. It would be a little chillier in January, but we'd leave January. We come back in May, February, May, something like that. And it great and I think it contributed a little bit to my burnout because like you said I never had that sort of like nurturing that hygge that you know cozy time and this winter this past winter we watched we watch a show called Little Bear and they I always thought I hated when I hate winter blah blah whatever so we went away now we're back we're kind of forced to do winter because we're in school so we're watching a show they talk about winter solstice and we start singing a song about how grandmother loves winter and I do too. And so we would sing it around the house. Deb, I had the best winter. I was cozy. I had fun. We made cookies. It was a totally different energy because I embraced that this is a dark season and it's okay. So I'm noticing my energy more. I'm tracking for 30 days my cycle. How's that then? How do you get me to then spit out content, right? Cause the A to me is the cycle. C to me is this like beautiful, gorgeous content that just looks just like, bam, you know, it's just popping.

13:49 - Speaker 2

Well, let me, let me, before we jump into that, let me, before we jump into that, let's just, let's just, let me just give you some examples of the phases as it might align to content creation or how it aligns to productivity because- Yes, yes.

14:06 - Speaker 1

Yeah, ground us in the system first. Yeah, because we need those fundamentals. Yes.

14:10 - Speaker 2

So the way that I teach this is is very similar to there's four phases of content creation. There's four phases of your menstrual cycle. And so you bring them together. So if we start with menstrual, or the menstrual phase, right, that would be the moment where or the days where you don't necessarily feel like being outward, you want to be quieter, maybe, maybe you feel bloated, maybe you feel tired, you should eat certain things that help with you, with your energetic, because you're feeling low, it's because you're being depleted. So what I like to look at is that like visually, ideas will come most definitely when you are bleeding. And so it's literally coming and the things that aren't serving you are going, they're coming. And the things that matter most, you can put into places like a journal, a note app, Evernote, Google Doc. So don't do anything with them, just allow them to come. Use a Voxer app. This to me, my clients are always like, what? And I'm like, yeah, you don't need to do anything else. Allow them to come, sit quietly, take that bath, light the incense, burn the candles, have the tea, go for the nice paced walks, right? And then like I was saying, my daughter, would tell you to do yoga, to do stretching, right? Not do a HIIT workout, right? So allow the ideas to come. I think for content creation from a business standpoint, especially if you're doing all the things in your boutique or in your business, when you get an idea and you rush off to make it happen, it loses its spark. Allow it to come and allow it to, I say brew, right? Like my coffee, you know, I love my coffee. Allow it to come and sit and stay there for a little bit. And that's the couple of days that you have your period. So just allow yourself when it comes to content creation to have a couple of days where you're just letting the ideas come and that's it. That would be the menstrual phase. Any questions about that? You look like your head's going to pop off.

16:12 - Speaker 1

I am. It's like permission to not create. I'm currently in it. I'm currently in it. So you're just like full speaking to me, right? Intuitively you're like, Oh, this is where she's at. Cause she has the black t-shirt and the bun. And here's my thing. Like I have had so many And I like the idea also because I feel like the shedding of stuff. I do feel like I want to get rid of some old ideas or some old habits of my own, or just like some crappy old thoughts that I've started thinking again. It's like, I don't, why am I doing that again? I'm beating myself up. This is silly. Get rid of that. Like, we don't need to think those things about ourselves anymore. Just chill, you know? Just chill and trust that what's meant to happen will happen. I do want to get into action. I have no energy to do it.

16:57 - Speaker 2

And you can't beat yourself up. You have to, like I was saying, my clients are always like, wait, what? I don't have to do anything with the ideas. Like I'm giving you all permission to allow the ideas to come and just let them be in some place safe. Because I know we're all busy. We've got kids, we've got parents, we've got families that we're caring for, employees, customers, just have a safe place to put them. So get into a habit. It does take practice. It's kind of like during 2020, I broke up with a shopping list on paper and now I just use my notes app and I don't have envelopes and receipts and post-its. If I need something from the grocery store, I put it in the grocery note in my phone and it took a while to break the habit of finding an envelope that I could write on. So you might find yourself trying to break that habit and that's okay. It doesn't happen overnight and just go buy yourself a beautiful journal or composition notebook that is for your ideas. Just allow it to be for ideas. And the beauty is the next phase. So if you have ever finished your period and all of a sudden you feel like you like have clarity and you feel confident and you're not ready to like do the deed, but you're like ready to like bring things to life. That's the next phase. And it's called the follicular phase. And I always say it's like I am a lion that's been sleeping in her cage and the gatekeeper has the key and he's coming to unlock me. I'm not gonna run out yet because who knows what could happen, but like I can see that I'm about to be let out. I'm about to be free. That's the follicular energy for me. It is very much like, I'm gonna make something. It's gonna be great. And it's the process of creation. So if you think of, Menstrual as curation, allowing the ideas to come. Follicular is creation. This is when you would actually block time in your calendar and create content from some of those ideas. You'd go back to where the ideas are, your journal, your notes app, and you'd say, what jumps off my page? What is speaking to me? Because not all those ideas are great and not all those ideas need to happen right now. Trust your intuition. Trust that your dream client needs whatever you pick to create during this phase. And so Emily, when I look at like four weeks on a calendar and I know that my cycle is somewhere between, well, I'm in perimenopause, so like my cycles are a little bit longer, but sometimes they're 25 days, sometimes they're 45 days, right? But I know because I've been doing this work on myself for so long, I know when I'm going to be up and down. When I'm ready to create, I don't try to do 30 days of content. I just do the best content, like whatever is like so important for my dream client to create. And so it might be some carousel post, it might be a blog post, it could be a couple emails or drafts of emails. I am taking those ideas and making them into something that is going to be epic when it meets my dream client. That is all I do during the follicular phase of content creation. So it's like, I'm more confident, I'm clearer. I don't know if you ever tried to like write an email or have a conversation when you're in your luteal or menstrual, but like, it's sometimes hard to find the words. It's hard and be okay with it being hard because that's not what you're meant to do during that time.

20:20 - Speaker 1

It's, you know, and here's the thing I, and I, and I'm saying this so vulnerably because I know other people are going to like are nodding their heads along with us. Right. And just, there's nothing wrong with us. It's just the way we've been doing it is wrong because we didn't go with our bodies. Like, and then we're racing and we're, and we're just like, we got to keep going. We had to keep going. And I'm going to just, everything that, you're saying honestly is confirmation of how I've been acting probably since about March when I really discovered like my SSRIs were not working once I started to get my period and my mental health was like in crisis mode a few times there and we've figured some things out we're still working on some of it but I really had to get real with myself and say like when you're gonna bleed you need to chill because things that are coming up in your brain that are not great and like you need to take a step back because and this is it is is normally my I would say no push through it push through it because that's kind of like the capitalistic thing that we've been masculine for so long right but masculine and everything's a race everything's a race yeah it's wild to me so you're really just like confirming and speaking my language and really just like for me I'm so happy to have this conversation publicly because because I have been like working through this using, I actually use the Stardust app now because it's like created for women and it's, you know, women owned and they keep your, your data and all this stuff. And I think like the topic of women bleeding is just one of those like kind of taboo things for so long, but now everyone's talking about it. So like it doesn't have to be, and we can bring it into this space because here's the other thing, it affects your customers too. So you get a rough customer and you go, Oh, they're in their X phase. You know what I mean? Oh, like are they feeling great? Yeah. Right? You kind of can understand us being human a little bit more. This is just our humanness being more defined.

22:16 - Speaker 2

Imagine if I owned a boutique and some women came in and there's three women, they're girlfriends and they're shopping and one is like, ugh, I won't look good in that. And another one's like, oh, I'm totally trying this on. And then the other one's like, yeah, no, no go. I guarantee once you know the different phases, you can say, you know what? Take this home. We have a return policy. You can try it home in your own mirror when you're not feeling bloated. I totally get it, right? Or if you tend to get really bloated during certain phase of your cycle, come in when you're in your follicular. I mean, I'll tell you women, if you have boutiques and you want to speak to women about this, tell them that during their follicular and ovulation phases of their cycle is the best time to come in and try things on. Like it is going to be, you will make sales if they are in their luteal and they don't know it. Guaranteed they will try shit on and they will not buy a goddamn thing because they're not going to like the way they look or feel. They're going to go in and they're going to look different in your mirror anyway. And then add that on top of it, right?

23:16 - Speaker 1

Yeah. No, you're totally right. And you know what? Here's the thing. It also takes a little bit of pressure off us as boutique owners thinking that every person coming in is going to be a sale and love what we have. It's like, no, they're coming in at a particular point in their day, in their life, but also in their cycle on top of it. It's just, it's complicated. Like it's quite complicated. But I think that takes the pressure off. For me, it takes the pressure off because it says, Emily, you really, it's another confirmation that you have no control. You have control over what you can, right? Like, as I remember, you always told me, you said, you know, there's two ways you can make more money, right? Through like adding price or upselling or something. Like it was two things. I'm not, I'm in my, you know, I'm having trouble finding my path.

23:59 - Speaker 2

You're having trouble finding your words.

24:01 - Speaker 1

Right? But you always told me that. And like, I remember those are the things you could control, right? Everything else around it is still going to be kind of a guesstimate and kind of a try and based on this. So I love this conversation now. Okay. So we're in the follicular.

24:18 - Speaker 2

So I'm in, I'm a lion in a cage and I've got high energy. I'm feeling super creative. So that's like, like I said, it's the creation phase of creating content. It's great for taking those ideas and planning content and like just getting things put together. So think like if you're creating a reel for Instagram, you now can take that idea and find graphics for it, find audio for it, write that caption, like pull it all together before it goes out to your dream client, which is the next phase, which is ovulation, which is like when your peak energy, your high vibe, or if you guys aren't cycling, then it would be the full moon energy. Okay, so this is like peak energy, super focused, detail oriented, great for executing tasks and writing, editing, getting that final statement done. And I call this is the phase I call calendaring. And it's not even a word, but it's like curate, create calendar, because it's 2024. At the time of this recording, we should all be using schedulers, you should not be creating and posting right away. Use a scheduler for God's sakes. Your engagement's low without a scheduler, so it's not gonna get any lower with one. If anything, it's gonna allow you to detach from your content and your business marketing all day, every day, right? And so you've curated the ideas, you've created your best content, you've calendar, calendar. And I think of this like during ovulation, you have more energy, you look and you feel better, you're ready to connect. So you get that, well, it's not you're ready to connect. You're ready to meet up with your dream client. So you're making sure that your content goes out when it's supposed to. That doesn't mean it has to go out during your ovulation, but you're doing that detail of the process during your ovulation. P.S. When you're ovulating, your stories, your lives, everything that's not planned is the best time to do it. So if you can just show up during this phase of your cycle, Emily and I would give you you a round of applause. When you feel alive, I want you to go live. That actually could be my bumper sticker. Feel alive, go live. Feel alive, go live. The stories, the talking heads, the things that you can never do when you're luteal or in your menstrual phase, this is when you do it. Because if your dream client can't hear you, see you, connect with you like we're talking here, they're never going to buy from you. And so if you own a boutique and you're using all your products Your service, your products and your items that you're selling as the, as what to get people in. I get, and it's not really working the way you want. If you start showing up at least once a month or make recordings to use. In a week when you're not feeling like it, you will change the way your dream clients, your customers connect with you because they do want to see you. And that's the benefit of being a small business owner is it is you. You're what sets it apart. You picked the product. You chose your logo. That's what sets you apart. You are what sets you apart. And so this time of month, this cycle, this phase of content creation is oftentimes more important than anything else in your business. Showing your face, being there when your dream client needs you, allowing her to hear you, see you, feel you, so that she has a connection and she wants more from you. Not from the blouse, not from the bag, not from the, you know, pens or paper journals that you sell, it's from you. You have to show up and that's why. So this phase is the best phase to do it.

27:56 - Speaker 1

When people love this episode, they're going to go back and listen to episode number 16 and we'll put it in the show notes so they can. Because you, I'm going to give a little preview because you just spoke so directly on a topic you spoke about then where, you know, two stores, Staples and Walgreens, you have two right next to each other. They both sell Sharpies.

28:18 - Speaker 2

Yeah.

28:18 - Speaker 1

Where am I going to go? Oh, I'm a business owner, so I'm going to go in Staples or I'm a, yeah, you have your, you have your Sharpies. Or I'm not a business owner, but I need to get some medicine or diapers for, I'm going to go in Walgreens. Right. And that could actually depend on the day. Right. Oh, I need diapers. Like I'm not going to go to Staples, I can get them here. So taking that, like disconnecting from the idea that like, it's your product. Do you need great product? Yeah. I'm still Emily here saying that. But what Deb's also saying is, you know you have competition. You know other people are selling similar stuff. And you're not ever going to compete on price. That's not something we do around here. So compete on you. Show up like you. And I think for me, again, I've been practicing what we're preaching here. I've been showing up when I'm like, damn, I look good today. Or like, oh, I just got my hair done, so it's all worn out. Or in those moments. And I will hardcore film. Sometimes in the same shirt, you'll notice I don't, but I don't care. I don't, I look good in that shirt. It doesn't matter.

29:17 - Speaker 2

No one cares. No one cares because all they want to do is hear you and see that you care about your business so that they should care enough to come. That is it. That is the bottom line.

29:29 - Speaker 1

So yes, marketing is a hundred percent showing people that you care about your business. That is absolutely the easiest way to describe it. It's saying, Hey, I love my business so much. I really want to share it with you. You. Come, let me just show you how cool it is. Let me talk about how cool it is. I, when you say to, it's just like, to me, it's like your voice. This is your brand voice is your voice. Like I, I just don't think that there is much difference anymore in that. And for me, my brand voice sometimes is really strong and powerful and makes a really big impact. And sometimes I'm just like, I don't care. Like no one cares about it. Like it doesn't, you know, but my brand voice will stand out so much that I'm in, well, I'll be places and people will say, You sound so familiar, you know, but it is about talking. It is about connecting with other women. And I know that there's people that don't feel good in front of the camera, but I think what you and I are both saying is try it during this week, put on your best outfit, make mistakes, overdo it so that when you do need the content, you have it. Even if you, you know, I had someone say to me, I don't like my actual voice. I said, fine, who cares? Close your mouth, show the clothes, put a voiceover on it or put a text over it or put music over it, who cares? You know what I mean? It's the act of showing up for your people makes them know that, like you just said, that you care about your business enough to do that showing up. And that's kind of blowing my mind, honestly.

30:52 - Speaker 2

Two things just came up that I'm going to bring up too. One is, I get that all the time from people. Like, I don't like the way I sound or I don't like the way I look. Great. But here's the thing. Small business owner, people are buying from you. So that's a benefit. And if you can't stand in and be the face of your brand, if nothing else, like Emily said, like be next to it. Don't be behind it. Don't let the clothes and the things you sell be upfront. Find a way to be with it. You don't have to be an influencer. You know, if that's not your jam, that's fine, but be with your business, be with the thing. So wear the top and just take a photo and say, I love this and this is why. Let people know that you give a crap. The other thing I want to say is, and maybe I talked about this back in the early days of your podcast, but real estate agents are the original relationship marketers. Love them or hate them, it doesn't matter. But the point is they were the first ones. What did they do? They put their faces on shopping carts, buses, park benches, business cards. They're the original people who did that. Long before anybody else put faces on things, right? Before people had websites, they were putting their faces on trifolds.

32:06 - Speaker 1

No one cared about logos. It was their face and their name and their phone number.

32:10 - Speaker 2

Exactly. And think about a real estate agent the next time you don't want to show up, or you're afraid to show up, or you think you look bad. Because here's what real estate agents have to do. If Emily and I are both realtors, we're selling the same goddamn house. There is no difference between the product we're selling. So at the end of the day, when you're standing at 123 Main Street in Boston and you want that house, you have to decide which one of us you're going to go with. And if you don't show your face, you're not making it easy for your dream client or customer to buy from you. They want to know that you're the person they're going to buy with. And so when you don't show, I mean, the tough love that I give people, you know, I do, I'm here and I've been saying the same thing. How many years ago was that podcast? I will not stop saying it. People want to buy from people. And as a small business owner, it is a huge advantage. How many of you buy coffee from Starbucks? You don't know the owner, you know, you, right. You go to target. You don't know who owns target.

33:08 - Speaker 1

Like, but Deb, the minute you said real estate agent, guess what? The picture of Lillian Montaldo. I think that's how you say your last name popped in my head because she is the realtor in the town that we live in. Her face is everywhere. I went to an open house to see her in person because I've seen her face so much and I knew that she lived near this property. I mean, she's like a legend in this town, okay? You know, she built her own tiny little French building. Have you, anytime you're in Andover, look for it. It's like down in this little area, but it's right in the center of like downtown and it looks like a little French building. She has purple awnings on it.

33:48 - Speaker 2

Oh yeah, yeah. That's where her office is, right?

33:50 - Speaker 1

Yup, that's where her office is. She built it custom. I mean, like, this woman is an icon, okay? Like, she is the Coco Chanel of real estate in Andover, okay? She sells the biggest houses. She has the biggest house. She's iconic, but it's, like, she's looked the same way for probably 30 years. She's got the black hair, short cut, dress is really sharp, bright colors, sharp blonde. You know, she has a look. And I would argue to say, like, that's what a boutique owner should be doing in their town, you know what I mean? I own the boutique, or at least who's in it. The same model. We have clients who they have a woman who loves being on camera, works quite a bit at the store, and people think she's the owner and she's not. She's just the manager and she's the face of the brand. And I think it's brilliant because they don't have to be there, you know, really done a good job doing that. And they found someone they trust, you know, like knock on wood, that's not happening everywhere. But you know, it's possible that you don't like you said, you can be side by side and not have to. But also, we have clients really stepping outside their comfort zone, putting themselves on camera with, again, no talking, just text.

34:55 - Speaker 2

There are so many ways, so many ways you could do it. Get creative. And they're topping off. People love it.

35:00 - Speaker 1

Their customers love it. This is brick and mortars, too. Brick and mortars. Short videos, little text over it, come into the store, address, blah, blah, quick hit. They see you while they're scrolling. Guess what? They stop when they drive by.

35:12 - Speaker 2

You know what, too? You gave me an idea, too. There is an idea, too, because the boutique that you mentioned with they hired someone, every single one of you probably has someone who loves your business so much that I guarantee you could say, hey, would you help me with videos? And you could be behind the camera and have a customer be the, not the face of your brand, but be in video so that there is person and people and human. It's, it's that human component that is often missing when you sell products. I just, I have a client that is like, Deb, you've got to come in every week now because she just couldn't do it. She doesn't have the time. They want to do it, but like I go in and I'm just, I'm doing it. I'm becoming the, my hands are in their videos, you know, it doesn't matter, but it's helping. People want to see your products in action, not just on a hanger. Right. So there's so many creative ways that we could do it. And so definitely capitalize on the time of month that you're feeling most alive. And I did tell you that's when the lion is out of the cage. That is when I'm out. I am meeting. I am reading. I am the the ideas that were something that was quiet, you know, 10 days ago is now coming out and I just it's my favorite and like I always say to people, you haven't seen me. It's not because I'm away. It's because I'm doing other things in my business but man, when I am out, I am out. You will see me for 10 days straight on stories, you know, and that's all and it carries the whole month. It really does. And I just think it's important.

36:47 - Speaker 1

I love hearing that because people need to know, you're right. People do need to know that they don't have to show up every day and that 10 days of 30, that's like a third of the month can carry you for a month. That's, that's pretty like the law of averages too.

37:01 - Speaker 2

If we're like going to get statistical about it, you know, so the energy that you will have during the ovulation and even the follicular phases to record videos or to take selfies, because you will feel pretty here, you will feel more just like you like yourself. And like, it's just something about you just look in the mirror and you'd like yourself. Like you might look at yourself a little different when you're brushing your teeth. Right. You know that. Oh my God.

37:24 - Speaker 1

I think I'm the most stunning person in the world during the ovulation. Right. Like I am like, let me take all the selfies. I'm constantly like, I was doing it. I was doing it last week when we went to the play, I was like, I'm going to take content. I like had a cute dress on like, and I just took content around the place And I've been posting it. You should go on my account. I think I posted something from the, you know, upstairs. But like, that's the thing is when you feel good, go hard, because it's naturally the time to do it. And it's like, it might feel like, wow, it's really unbalanced. But the truth is, the idea that you can maintain the same energy every day is unbalanced. So just like, let's, you know, again, it's like work to our strength. Okay, but I feel like one more that I do. We're talking so much about the fun part. Which is my thing.

38:09 - Speaker 2

It is truthfully the phases. And I love what you said that if a third of the month could give you what you need. And let's be truthful, you guys. We're not talking about 24 hours a day times 10. We're talking about an hour a day times 10. So 10 hours a month to potentially create your best video, audio, selfies, all of that. I mean, it's working smarter, not harder. You will avoid burnout. You won't be annoyed with your business or creating content. It actually, you're creating for a longer period of time rather than burning out 24 hours, 24 hours, 24 hours. So that the fourth and the one cycle, phase of the cycle that I think people take for granted is the luteal phase. That's after ovulation. So it is actually what I like to call, it's like autumn. And as we head into fall here in New England, into the time of this recording, you might have lower energy. You will feel like retreating. You will feel like, you know, wrapping yourself in a cozy blankie. You feel more inward. But I like to say that this is the phase of connection. And so what that means is no one has to see you. No one has to hear you. We are in the age of digital content and digital connection. And so if your content was going out with the calendar, with the scheduler, from the space before, these are the 10 days or so that you might be replying to messages in the DMs, nurturing in places where you can copy and paste some answers to frequently asked questions in your business, right? Creating content that will sustain you for a longer period of time. Truthfully, it's the decreased energy, but increased sensitivity. So you are gonna be more sensitive, more emotional, It's a good time to focus on reviewing. And if you can delegate tasks to other people, cause you're going to slow down and you're going to reflect on the last 20 days as you head into that new cycle. And so what I like to think about this is that you're going to create content that during the phase, the other phases, you're going to create content that will want, will get people to take action. And during the luteal phase, you'll be kind of like, think of it as like office days. This is when like you're, you're making sure the spelling on your blog is right or the email, or maybe it's you're tagging people for special lists so that you can segment them. It is truly behind the scenes, quiet. That's what fall is. Like the trees are dying in fall, right? The trees are dying and the leaves are crinkly. And you know, it is time to retreat inward, getting ready for winter, which is the menstrual phase. So then you start the cycle all over again. So I think that for me, when I look at the calendar, there's always 10 days or so that I focus on making sure all my links on my website work, making sure my shop works, making sure my funnel is working, right? Send those tests, send them to your team. If you don't have a team, send them to your sister, have her check the links, you know, those behind the scene things that can make or break your business when you're running on all cylinders. At the opposite side of the month from luteal phase, right? Cause you still gotta get through the winter to get to the spring to get to the summer. So it is truly, let me just recap, curate, create, calendar, connect. And that's menstrual, follicular, ovulation, luteal. So it is a beautiful cycle for creating content for your customers, but it's also beautiful for your body, for your soul, for your business. And you definitely cut yourself a lot of slack when you say, you know what? I'm just not meant to create today. I'm going to save that for when I'm in my follicular phase. Or I'm not meant to review a blog or check links because I should be networking, going out for coffee with people, looking at new designs. Whatever it is that's more creative and more high vibe, you should be doing that during those phases.

42:20 - Speaker 1

And it's- Even the idea that there's times where I know I'm going to be more sensitive, so I'm not going to check my email directly in the morning. Totally. You know what I mean? Totally. I think that's the other thing is just remembering we can have tough skin all we want, but nature is going to force us into the ups and downs. And the idea of the ups and downs and the waves, I mean, again, an old friend, Diana Baranowski, always said, like Emily, business is always up and down. Like you've got to be like the duck on the water, just like going under, you know, doing your thing and like kind of surf on top, you know, she's like, you can't, you can't go with the waves, you know, you've got to just stay on top. And I think that's one of the biggest things that this hacks into is that it allows you to stay on top at the right times and in the right ways. And to me, the friction that you avoid in your life is worth the, little bit of understanding and sort of planning you have to do upfront. Because I mean, I really, no joke, like, I'm so psyched to talk about this, because I feel like the results of me and my business, you know, I feel like actually, we just are coming out of winter in my business in a weird way. Because, you know, even your business, I think, has cycles of spring, autumn, you know, absolutely have to pivot. Yeah, you have to pivot during those times. So it's fun, because I feel like it takes a little bit of the edge off the workaholic. And the nature of, you know, just the beast that you have to feed of all this social media and technology. And it's, you know, I mean, if we were really going to hack our lives, we would only like launch our products during certain phases. We would only take our pictures during, you know, a once a month launch is not a bad idea. If you line it up with your cycle, like that's actually kind of brilliant.

44:09 - Speaker 2

Well, the thing is, the thing about it is you can, you can hack it that way. And then, yeah, then you have the content ready to launch the product. So you could actually do the biohacking in follicular ovulation, use Luteal to write your sales page, head into menstrual for the next phase, think of all the things that are creative that you like in follicular, and then launch the whole month later, but have done it all prior. So that's the beauty of it. It always will be ebbing and flowing, and you don't have to get burnt out trying to do it. During luteal or menstrual when you just don't have the bandwidth. And that's when you should be caring for yourself and caring for your business on the behind the scenes. That's the pieces, like your business doesn't want you to be like that. I mean, I'm not gonna lie. 10 years ago when I started, 15 years ago when I started, my laptop was on my lap. That's why they're called that. And I would sit on my couch and my kids were 10 years, 15 years younger. They're now 16 and 21. And they were around me and I was working and I thought, Everything was an emergency and everybody who needed me had to have what they wanted then, right there, that moment. I was doing all the things for all the business owners that I supported. And then I realized that wasn't real. That wasn't sustainable. That's not what I wanted my kids to remember. And so I would imagine many of your listeners want the freedom of being a business owner. And when you work with the cycles of the phases of your cycle or the moon, or even the season, you can see the freedom right in front of you. You can see how much you love. My company has called for the love of your biz for a reason. Why was I working like that? I want you to love your business too. Why are you working like that? So when I found the fact that I needed to do this for myself and then started telling all of my female clients about it, men do this all in one day. Men do this cycle, these four phases all in one day. They go through all of it. 24 hours. Yes. 24 hours. We do it in 30 days or days.

46:15 - Speaker 1

That's the masculine.

46:19 - Speaker 2

So if we try to do that, that's when we get burned out because we don't have the capability to be in ovulation 24 seven. And that's a whole other episode.

46:29 - Speaker 1

Like, honestly, it's a lot. And I feel like I need to take a bath and process it all too, because It really is, like you're saying, it doesn't have to be overnight. You can integrate this slowly, start noticing yourself. And I think it does take the decision of saying like, I don't want to live in this burnout. I mean, for me, it was like, I don't want to be the mom that yells at her kid. Like what's you like, And I was giving myself the ick, you know what I mean? I'm like, I've got to take the edge off here. Like it's just, and, and because of that things in your business might slow down a little bit at first. So they might, you know, like these transitions, these do take a bit but there's a time and a place to start integrating this and just even if at the least you start tracking and you know when you might start bleeding soon and so you just know okay not gonna read reviews that week not I'm gonna know I'm gonna feel a little off that was the first step for me was those five days around that first day was like alarms on like just Emily's gonna act a little insane and she can't help it so everyone just be on alert, you know, and it's really for your business and for your, for your family and your partners and your kids.

47:41 - Speaker 2

Um, it's, it's like right up there with, with knowing your human design. It's just like, you're, this is your innate nature and what you're capable of doing on the days that you're meant to do a lot. You will. And when on the days that you're meant to not, you don't have to feel sorry or bad because guess what? There will be a day when you're going to be, uber productive and it's going to be easier because you won't be working as hard. You'll work 10 times harder trying to do it in luteal than you will in follicular. So pay attention for 30 days. My best recommendation is just print out a 30 day, or line a notebook with 30 lines and just track how you felt and what you were able to do for 30 days. Don't change anything yet. Just feel on a scale of one to five, low vibe, high vibe, Maybe you recorded 10 videos in two days. Well, I'm pretty sure that's going to be during ovulation. And then you'll see the pattern. You will really see the pattern. You also can put when the new moon is in that 30 days, when the waxing, waning, and full moon is, just so that you kind of see. Because think of the waves at the beach and the tides. It's all aligned to the moon. So if you really want to do some fun research, you can just Google how my cycle or how my energy is affected by the tides or the moon. It's really quite, quite fascinating scientifically.

49:03 - Speaker 1

Well, and even from having a labor and delivery nurse mother, like there just are more babies born on full moons. Like it just, it is, that's what happens, you know? So it's a funny thing is how that actually works.

49:16 - Speaker 2

Yeah, it's crazy. Good. Good. Well, I'm glad as long as we brought some light to this, that we don't have to beat ourselves up if we don't feel like showing up, as long as you are honoring when you should show up. That's the beauty, right? That's the beauty of, and if you have a business, if you have a boutique, there's a reason. Allow that to come through so that your dream clients can see it and hear it and feel it.

49:38 - Speaker 1

Oh, Deb, thank you. And we'll put all of the links to everything in your show notes, but like, if I loved this episode and I even just wanted to drop you a note to say, Deb, this is awesome. What books can I join? Or do you have a group, you know, like where are we, where are we finding you?

49:54 - Speaker 2

So really the best place to chat with me would be over on Instagram. My handle is ForTheLoveOfYourBiz, all one word. And I can give you all the links when you reach out. If you listen to this podcast, screenshot and tag me and Emily so that we can celebrate that more women are learning how to create content with their cycle instead of against it.

50:14 - Speaker 1

Yay. Thank you so much, Deb.