You're listening to the Driving Confidence podcast for drivers who want to be calm and confident on the road. We will be sharing tips, stories and advice to beat driving nerves and anxiety and build your driving confidence. Whether you are just starting out as a learner or have had your driving license for years, if you want to transform how you feel about driving, this podcast is for you. We've got some content here for you that's a little bit different. And the reason for that is because when we created it, we weren't thinking about the podcast. We were actually creating this as training materials for driving instructors. So yeah, so we want you to listen to this season from a different perspective. We want you to hear things Slightly differently, because we're talking to driving instructors, predominantly in this. you might hear the phrases slightly differently. So it will give you a different perspective of what we're trying to say as well. Now of course, because we were talking to driving instructors, we've used some of the lingo. So you might hear us say phrases like ADI or PDI, and that just means an approved driving instructor or a potential driving instructor. Yeah, other words that you will hear us say are part two, Part three and standards check. And here we're just talking about the tests or the assessments that people have to take to become a driving instructor or to stay a driving instructor. So really it's a bit like the equivalent of the driving test. We hope that you enjoy listening to things from a fresh perspective. And remember that while we are talking to driving instructors in these episodes, we are talking to them about how they could help you. We're going to talk about positive self-talk. So what is positive self-talk? Positive Self-talk is literally the words, the phrases, the things that you are saying to yourself. Now, this could be things that you are saying out loud or that your students are saying out loud about themselves when they're driving Equally, this could be that internal dialogue. Yeah, those thoughts that, uh, you are just saying to yourself or your students are saying to themselves in their head so that other people can't hear. But what we want to do is to try and encourage for that talk to be more positive, because that can help influence the feelings. Behaviors around driving and you might well find your students or for yourself trying to get your students to reframe what they've said. So they might say, oh, I never passed my test, so reframe that. I will pass my test when I'm ready. There we go. So, and that is the way you can do it. You can just say, I will pass my test and get them to finish off the sentence for you. It's almost like a game almost there. So yeah, get them to have a bit of fun with this and change what they're saying, which is negative into a more positive self-talk way for them. Yeah. So it seems like I'm still learning. Yeah, I'm getting better all the time. Every time I practice I'm in through then. Yeah. So it's just. Like Gabe says, reframing adding in something a bit more positive, particularly if they're using negative self-talk. A parallel park's really hard for me at the moment, but with practice I'm going get better. Yeah. So, you know, they can finish off and change the end of the sentence. So with that in mind, with the fact that so many of us have a tendency to have these negative thoughts, why is that? What is the role of negative thoughts? It's 100% safety. The, the role of negative thoughts is that it keeps us safe. Um, negative thoughts tend to stop us doing things outside of our comfort zone. They keep us limited into our comfort zone and things that we believe are safe. They also mean that we're always on the lookout for danger. It's part of our survival system. So back in, back in the old days when potentially somebody who had lots of positive thoughts and was always looking on the positive side of things may not have survived the longest. Whereas somebody who was always on the lookout for danger in thinking of the things that might go wrong, may well have survived longer, but nowadays. That isn't so much the case. And so this has become a bit of a, an inherited habit. Um, so it's important to acknowledge that negative thoughts do have a role. They keep us safe. Yeah. But they're not particularly helpful when it comes to confidence building. No, and that's, that's part of it. And it's, we all want to be safe, but sometimes it's, it's about us just stretching someone that little bit further. So they're just stepping out of that comfort zone and creating new experiences that then become their comfort. Yeah. So it's finding that balance. Yeah. You're trying to do that because if you go too far and say, look, you've been doing this long enough, now we're gonna go on that dual carriage right now. That's probably gonna shut down somewhere. So just having a little step further, like going into fourth gear or something like that, just a little bit faster can help. Just a even for two seconds and then bring it back down again. That was okay. So one of the really important things to acknowledge with negative thoughts is this, and I've found this incredibly useful in, in my work. So, uh, sorts are not tracked just because you think something. Doesn't mean that it is true and acknowledging that and just checking in when there is a negative thought, encouraging your students to check in with themselves. Is that a thought or is that a fact? Is that actually. And this little trick, just asking, this can be transformative. It can really help people to get unstuck. Is a thought, is it a fact? Is it actually true? And the way you, you know what you're trying to do here? When someone says that negative thought for you. Is try and make sure when you respond with that question, it's very neutral. Yes, yes. Because you don't want to be challenging them. Yeah, of course it is. And what you want to be doing is just saying, you know, on that level, your voice doesn't really change. Okay. That's interesting. Tell me more. Yeah, working with them and acknowledging that that's somebody's thought and that they believe that to be true. Making sure that they feel listened to, acknowledged, but then helping them gently look at, is it actually true? Just because I think it doesn't mean it's true. Yeah. I don't have to believe it. So let's look at what the stories your students are telling themselves. So we've picked out a phrase that I hear quite a lot, but it is on the lines of negative self talk really. So the phrase is, the student might say, everybody thinks I'm a bad driver. Now we know from our work with full license holders who come to us for help. Yeah. We know that this is a really common thought among full license holders who are feeling nervous or anxious about driving. So let's break that down. First of all, the first word they used was everyone, and I would just ask the question, everyone, and let it sit there with this, with, with them. Yeah, everyone. Okay? Does that include me? Well, no, not you. So immediately what you've done is you've negated it slowly. You've eased the pressure valve for them for that thought. So now it's not everyone because I'm not included. So it's not everyone is it? And then the second word that they use is. Everyone thinks, and then the question might be, do we know what everybody's thinking? Are you a mind reader? Yeah. I think, yeah, it's, it's quite interesting, the two, we've only touched on two words so far. We've challenged the everyone and then we've challenged the thinks. Do we know what people are thinking? Yeah, we don't. And how do we know what other people are thinking? Yeah. Again, it's just, but I'm assuming, yeah. Has somebody told you so we might know what they're thinking. Yeah. But does that mean that everybody has told you? Yeah, so, so really challenging that a little bit. And then we move on to the bad driver, and I wanna find out what a bad driver does. What does a bad driver do in the situation that we've just had? Or what's their thoughts on a bad driver? And then once they give you the answer, it might well be, well, they, they stick to speed limits. Okay. So a bad driver sticks to speed limits. I'm, you know, paraphrasing what they're saying. Well, again, you're not cha, you're not saying they're wrong, which is the most important thing. You are challenging them in a way. To get them to think about what they're actually saying. And if you can do that without saying they're wrong, you get them to change that thought. That thought then becomes not a fact. And that's where the learning takes place, isn't it? Yeah, absolutely. So somebody needs to experience the challenge themselves. They need to experience that change of thoughts rather than just being told. That their thought is incorrect because if you don't experience it, then you're not gonna take it on board and you're not gonna believe it. So, and also it's getting into those habits of learning how to challenge your thoughts and think is that a thought is that fact? And students will have stories that they tell themselves over and over again. And they're just habits Very often they haven't actually explored underneath the story, so it's just something that they say and they haven't really given it that much thought. So we wanna find out, you know, challenge that thought, you know, challenge that story that they're telling themselves. Because 999 times outta a thousand, it's untrue. So this is what we want to be doing. We want to be challenging those limiting beliefs. Yeah. What are those negative thoughts, those stories that are holding your students back? Yeah, limiting belief is something, is a thought. That isn't necessarily true, but it's a thought that's keeping them stuck, isn't holding them back from what they want to do or where they want to be. So in lessons, what we really want to do is set goals as we know, and we want to set bite-size goals. So those bite-sized goals are achievable. You know, if you look at the SMART acronym, when you set goals, are they specific? Are they measurable? Are they achievable? And are they realistic? And can we do them in a timeframe, put a time on it that gives the students something to think about rather than the negative four. That is, they're never gonna do it. They're never gonna pass their test. Let's work towards that. You know, the, the driving test is not the be all one end all. We are working with them to be able to drive safely and every time a student achieves. A bite size realistic goal. What they're doing is they're building up experience, but they're also building up positive evidence that works to challenge that negative thought or that limiting belief. So they're creating and building their own evidence against their own beliefs. The words people using, you know, we mentioned it earlier in that story, but if someone's saying nerves, they're feeling nervous, you know, create something new, nerve sighted, you know, that's gonna really help them, isn't it? Yeah. And the. Nerves and excited, like he said, very similar feelings in the body. So when you are talking about the driving test, students will often interpret those feelings as feeling nervous. Some of them might find it really hard to interpret those feelings as being excited to get their driving license. So it's using a word like nerve sighted can help them acknowledge that. It can be a mix of nervous and excited because actually that feels the same and that can come out and as more excited. The other one, which Kev mentioned right at the beginning is adding in another word such as yet, so I can't parallel park, encourage them to say yet because I'm still learning and I'm still practicing and I'm getting better all the time. So not letting those negative thoughts and phrases pass without doing some swabs. Adding in some additional phrases to balance them out. Challenge them, yeah. And make a more neutral, realistic thought instead. Thank you for listening. Find out about the different ways that you can work with us on our website www. confidentdrivers. co. uk and begin to transform the way you feel about driving.