Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose who's views win, Which ones lose.

Online haters are coming for you.

Baby, it's time to Review That Review!

Oh, hi and hello.

Welcome to Review That Review.

We are the podcast that is dedicated to reviewing,

Reviews

that is Chelsey Donn,

and that is Trey Gerrald.

and when we come together, we form

The review Queens.

'I.

Just realized 'I didn't have my GREs.

Oh

I'm okay though, but first not brought to you by GREs.

Peles.

Should we,

Lodge, A, Complaint.

and by we 'I mean the Royal.

We and 'I mean you.

Yeah, so 'I really want to talk about something that

Again.

Okay, here we go.

I'm really like opening myself up to all the listeners here.

'I really wanna Lodge, A, Complaint against Sleepy voice.

Mm.

Do you know what I'm talking about?

'I mean.

'I do, but 'I wanna hear your experience of it first?

'I recognize that this sits with me and lives with me, and

'cause David, my husband, does not have this issue.

But 'I really don't like being perceived as having recently woken up.

Same.

What will happen is that if 'I have A' phone call or if 'I have A' meeting,

Now 'I can kind of place where this comes from in my life, 'I know.

Uh, and and just to be very quick and simple here.

'I grew up with A', very depressed mother who overslept and slept in really

So I'm certain that 'I have like emotional stuff around being seen as someone who sleeps in.

So I'm certain that's part of really what is there for me.

But 'I have noticed here in my life, it really runs my life.

This fear of someone going.

Oh, did you just recently wake up?

Or if you answer the phone and they're like, were you asleep?

That

like the vocal, it's the vocal equivalent of You look tired.

yes, and speaking of looking tired, 'I 'I wasn't sure if 'I

'I also hate the puffiness of like A', freshly woken face.

Yes.

Also, this is A' joke in this play that is called Next Fall, but.

The older partner is speaking to the younger partner and they're saying that like when you

But 'I really just 'I don't like it feels very exposing and bad when someone is aware

Don't know.

I'm just bringing this to the ledger.

'I want to hear what's.

For you, it sounds to me like you have A' similar experience as me, but 'I don't know

I'm not in control of the facility, of my vocal intonations or whatever that is.

And then 'I feel vulnerable, 'I feel exposed.

'I feel indecent.

First of all, 'I would never have thought to Lodge this as A' Complaint.

And this is hilarious and so relatable to me.

'I mean 'I think it's gonna be relatable to some of our listeners.

'I, don't think you're as alone as you think you are.

Oh, okay.

But 'I wanna say, so when this happens to you, this is what 'I do.

'I want to know if 'I just do this or if you do this too.

So if I've been sleeping, when 'I know 'I should be awake, which let's be honest, is often 'I will

And then also often we'll get, for some reason 'I don't know if it's just that my sleep

Mm.

That's my like, did you just get

'I mean that you just made me think of another Complaint here.

But yes, 'I wonder what non-performer people like.

They certainly aren't doing vocal sirens, but,

Right, but 'I am 'I.

'I do as well.

But the, the anxiety lives with me and, and it's, it's like crushing.

It is A'

and 'I get that.

And like 'I think, as I've gotten older, I've thought about it A' little bit differently

Schedule where, yeah, like my day's not starting until two, but I'm not getting

And then sometimes I'm doing work for the podcast until like 3:00 AM So no, I'm not

So if you call me at 10, chances are I'm just getting up.

I'm trying to own that more 'I think because 'I have A', you know,

And I'm like, well Steph, you know, like if she needs to sleep because

Not that I'm comparing myself to her.

She, she is amazing, but 'I, you know what I'm saying?

Like 'I people have different schedules and 'I think we need to stop normalizing everybody

That's number one.

And number two, I'm really loving what ChelseyBD handler's doing lately with her

And I've been finding this thing where like, you know, parents will be

'I would do that too if 'I had all the time in the world.

And I'm like, you also decided to have kids.

That was like A' you thing that takes up bandwidth and time and 'I completely understand that and

Anyway, 'I.

Don't think you should feel shame about your morning voice.

'I.

Need 'I.

Think we need to normalize sleepy voice and get over it and don't ask the question.

Just like we've eventually evolved and learned as A' community to not ask people if they look

Great.

Look, 'I.

Don't think it's A'.

Great.

Look to ask someone if they just woke up.

'I.

Think you should be like, thank you so much for answering my call.

You know.

Hello

think it's gonna 'I.

Think it's gonna require A'.

Little bit more than this conversation for

Listen, 'I.

Think we're gonna lead the brigade.

Trey.

Yeah, no 'I hear it, but 'I.

'I also recognize it's silly.

It's in the ledger.

It's been added.

'I.

Hear you great.

Complaint.

'I feel uneasy.

But I'm hearing that it's okay.

'I.

Don't know 'cause 'I don't feel 'I.

Don't feel any different.

'I Don't think that this was gonna solve it.

'I.

Don't feel like I'm saying you let me down 'cause Donn don't think that you were

Okay.

Listeners, if you relate to this problem, if you relate to this problem you're experiencing

'I actually would like that.

Okay, so shall we, should we jump into some online reviews?

ChelseyBD 'I.

Wanna hear what

'I would love that.

Yes, 'I.

Review, That, Review.

As you know, we are your trustee.

Review Queens.

We bring in reviews from the internet that we feel need to be inspected.

We read you A' review, then we break it down and rate the impact of that

This is A' very regal process that we call,

Assess, That, Kvetch.

all right ChelseyBD, what are we gonna tackle this week?

Well, Trey today I'm taking you to the cleaners, but not that kind of cleaners.

The car wash cleaners.

Ooh,

Ooh, yeah.

whoa.

Okay.

Anyway, here we go.

This is the Sepulveda Car Wash.

This is their page on Yelp.

All right.

They don't give you any details about the business outside of the address that has A'

They, but they've claimed it good for them.

Oh, in A' way.

This review is written by Sean B.

Before you even ask s e A' n

Really thought you were saying Sean.

It's like stressing an H, but Ss e, A' N.

Okay.

Sean

'I feel like 'I, say Shawn, either way is it not Sean.

Hey Shay, Sean B.

B as in butthole,

Yeah.

And you will help.

You will hear me say Sean as 'I referred to him.

Sean.

Okay,

here we go.

And Sean's is also A' two star?

Sorry, 'I didn't say that.

Okay.

This is Sean B's one star review of the Sepulveda Car Wash.

And how close are you to this car wash, by the way?

Pretty close, like this is actually really close to my

'I.

Just wanna say 'I have A' feeling that this is gonna really help.

Manuel, who?

We inducted several episodes back.

Ah, Trey 'I was hoping you would remember and

Oh, of course.

This review by Sean B is precisely why 'I use Manuel and his services.

All right, here we go.

This is A' one star review by Sean B.

Quite honestly, the worst car wash 'I have paid for in half A' century of living in Los Angeles.

An automatic drive-through wash at A' gas station for A' dollar 50.

Upcharge at the pump is more effective, almost zero effort on the interior 'I tip.

Well too regretted it the moment 'I drove off the lot.

Nice complimentary kid who handed me the keys, but the work was legit, substandard.

Didn't even wipe dust.

The dash A' kindergartner could do A'.

Better job vacuuming.

It was uncommonly quick, but now 'I know why They essentially did asterisk, not A'.

Asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, squat, asterisk.

What?

Zilch looked like they were wiping stuff down, but seemingly not.

Cannot recommend and 'I do not go outta my way to write poor reviews, but without exaggeration.

This was simply the most wasteful use of $30 for A' Wash and $12 for A' tip.

'I have put towards my car ever.

Your odds of being pleased here are low 50 50 at best by perusing the other reviews,

Hmm.

sorry.

Biz fire your management.

Train your peeps.

Elsewise.

Your biz model is just shoddy work at volume.

You can fool A' customer once, but 'I am Audi 5,000 G Money.

What,

Parentheses, 'I Drive A' Toyota,

wait, what?

but 'I Drive A' Toyota.

Wait,

Yeah.

'I am Audi 5,000 G money.

'I think that he was like being facetious and funny, like I'm Audi 5,000 bitches.

You know what 'I mean?

Like

then why did he feel like he needed to say he drove A' Toyota?

maybe because he wanted to clarify that when he was saying Audi,

'I Drive an Audi.

He was like, oh, 'I don't wanna look like I'm just being spoiled.

Like 'I have nice things.

It's like 'I Drive, A' Toyota, 'I Drive, A', run of the mill car, and my expectations are average.

That's what 'I got from that.

is $30 A'.

Lot of money for A' car wash

I'd say it's average 'I.

'I.

Mean 'I.

Think 'I might've even honestly gone to this car wash once.

But it's just, you know, it's A' regular, like half machine, half hand wash 'I think.

Yeah, exactly.

So 'I think that that's like pretty standard 'I, honestly, think the $12 tip was very 'I mean.

He did mention he gave A' generous tip, but what do you think about $12?

Yeah, that's A'.

Lot of money.

That's A'.

That's like A'.

Very big.

Usually I'll give $5.

Yeah, it's, it sounds like A'.

Very generous tip.

Yeah.

Which may be, and, and, okay.

'I, 'I don't want, 'I, want your first impressions before 'I say anything else.

Well, I'm trying to figure out, It seems as though Shawn is just saying

'I think it, it appears to me that the outside was cleaned 'cause they didn't realize until they

All the other stuff.

But 'I, guess

And that's what they said.

Uh, in the very beginning they said almost zero effort on the interior.

So they, they are laying that out.

And then they also, like they also mentioned, which 'I thought was funny,

So I'm just

like picturing like people, like pretending like, like that meme of that

hilarious.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They also use very interesting words, 'I.

Think like zilch is such A' weird word.

And biz and peeps.

Yeah.

'I.

Guess.

'I.

I'm, I'm just wanting to hear this objectively because 'I 'I don't have A'.

Lot of experience with car washes as an adult, but 'I mean you're going to get your car cleaned.

So like shouldn't it be cleaned?

And what do you like, what do you think Sean B looks like?

Or do you have any first impressions of who Sean B is as A' person?

Well, you know, it 'I did hear 'I do not go outta my way to write negative

Truth or it's covering the fact that you're A', A', Karen.

So, or A' can, 'I haven't really considered what 'I think Shawn looks like, but 'I do

So 'I wonder if, like Sean didn't get like the intense detailing package, but then again, I'm

'I Dunno.

Why do you ask what, what does Sean look

'I wanna, 'I was gonna show you.

Yeah, 'I mean 'I.

Think Sean is somebody that thinks,

maybe.

oh.

Oh, interesting.

So you think he has bifocals.

Okay.

'I am

Well 'cause they're really picking up that there's dust everywhere.

Oh, A'.

Nice profile.

It looks like A' quarter.

Right.

'I feel like Shawn's the kind of person that was like super popular back in

He has A' goatee.

there.

'I think he, like he's smiling 'I.

Think he goes to Dodgers games.

You know,

'I would think that maybe he doesn't like gay people, but 'I do view the world

Interesting.

Okay.

'I.

'I mean he definitely looks like A' guy that would go to the bar, have A' beer, and then like

'I would think that Sean would wash his own car like 'I.

Feel like Sean would be that kind of guy.

That's like every Saturdays waxing.

Yes.

car,

feel like Sean is very regimented.

but he does look pleasant to me.

He doesn't look like A' jerk.

looks like he maybe goes to the gym, maybe works out,

So this photo is like literally his prof.

It's just like A' zoom in shot of his face, but he is looking to the side, so it literally looks like

and he is smiling to the side.

But 'I don't really get to see his like eyes, which is the only way 'I can really

Like why would this be your picture?

Like you're looking in the wrong

'I mean The main focus that I'm seeing is an ear.

You know what 'I mean?

It's an interesting profile.

Anyway, he does seem nice enough.

'I.

'I don't, I'm not writing Sean off from the image.

'I was just curious what you thought.

'I just, it's something about that language that we were discussing that 'I

The G Money thing 'I think

G Money.

How?

Wait.

'I didn't see when was it written?

2021.

So this is A' like fairly recent review.

It's not like this review was written when using peeps was like all the rage.

Yeah, 'I, remember, uh, David's lease ended like after Covid 'I, and we had to

And 'I remember being concerned about people being inside of the car.

So it's interesting that A' year after Covid, this person's like they didn't detail the inside Donn.

Don't know 'I, think 'I.

Do believe 'I trust that Sean is right.

Like 'I don't.

then may 'I, no 'I kind of, well, 'I don't know.

'I wonder like, is it really that dirty on the inside?

Or like, 'cause dust just sort of kicks up and goes around.

So is it, do you think we, they wiped it down and then it just like didn't get out of the car?

believe Sean, I've been in A' situs.

'I have been in quite this bad situation, but I've definitely been in

And 'I don't feel like the interior was clean.

I'm gonna leave A' little bit of room for what you said, which is maybe

'I know that like sometimes I'll have to get the $50 package if 'I

So maybe this was just like the basic package and they just do A' quick wipe down, and that's

But it was not gonna be A' thorough wipe, but, But 'I also think it's interesting what

Besides that, they said that they don't often write poor reviews.

They also said there's A' 50 50 chance that you might be disappointed or not

So

Yeah, 'I thought that was

'I thought that that was interesting, like they're not just A', total

It's like, maybe you'll end up on the right side of the coin.

What do 'I know?

Well, you know, we often talk about that, but even in hearing the review, when Sean

Right.

Which sort of points out like, how common is this 'I don't know, but.

it's interesting that you read it that way because 'I thought

The boy was nice.

It's like 'I don't know.

There was something in the order of the, like if the kid's A' nice kid and they're working at the

'I wouldn't regret that.

'I gave the $12 tip.

In my mind, no be you would, because 'I would feel like, well, that kid probably needs the $12.

He's like working at A' car Wash.

He's A' kid, whatever.

'I didn't get the impression that the kid was the only one that was cleaning the inside

Well, that's another thing like isn't it usually A'?

Couple of guys cleaning

'I would be more mad at the car wash that 'I spent the $30 in the car

Well, that's A'.

Okay.

Well that's maybe interesting because maybe there is something missing to the

Was there A' line that was going into the

said that it was really fast.

It was like quick, almost too quick,

right?

Because I'm wondering if you go at peak hours, are they gonna be quicker because

so then therefore it might be less detailed, or was it pretty slow

'I don't know.

'I.

Do 'I understand that you're paying for A' product and so you want that to be consistent and good.

Worth the money.

But 'I also recognize, it's like it's when you brought in the PAC Sun Review, it's like we were

That I'm also sort of like, well, look, it's like these are kids working at A' Car Wash.

Like, what is your, but then you're paying $30, you end up leaving 42.

Do like 'I don't.

Well, let's put our 'I.

Think that part of the problem here.

Let's remove our bias for A'.

Second, because 'I don't, you don't really go to car washes.

And we have our opinions about Sean, but I'm A' person that's looking

Let's say 'I ha 'I.

Don't look at the top to see that it's A' two and A' half, because that's

But let's say 'I don't.

And let's say 'I come upon Sean's review and I'm reading it.

Am 'I going to this car wash?

'I Want A' Car wash 'I?

'I.

'I.

Want A'?

Good one.

'I don't.

No 'I.

Think 'I wouldn't.

'I.

Think 'I wouldn't.

It's pretty convincing.

And even, even in the cleanliness of Sean pointing out, given all the reviews today,

Right, exactly.

And 'I feel like 'I believe Sean, even when they're saying that

So it's like if I'm gonna like luck out and get the one person that actually is very

Do think the biz is really funny, like 'I don't know why?

Because it feels very intense and like, Diplomatic in A' Way.

And then we got into the na, the Nada squat.

Zilch, sorry, biz Audi 5,000.

Like, it's almost like there's two voices to Sean.

What about spelling grammar here?

That seems fine, right?

All of that's good.

'I just don't really know about the commonality.

'I mean.

'I.

Think that Sean does A'.

Good job at pointing out.

This is what 'I can gather from all of the reviews, 'I.

It's 50 50.

So that's sort of hard to tell, but 'I do feel influenced.

What about humor?

Entertainment?

I'm

'I.

Feel Humored.

I'm also uncomfortable with the parenthetical at the end.

Who ends on that?

'I Drive.

A' Toyota.

It doesn't 'I.

Don't 'I really Don't get why he put that there.

But

Yeah.

'I think 'I could crown.

Sean, do you have any other thoughts?

I'm ready.

All right, so ChelseyBD and 'I each have our own set of zero to five crown cards.

In an effort to be fair and not influenced by one another, we will simultaneously reveal our rating.

The Queens are Tabulating

school.

Okay.

Four crowns.

Four crowns.

Trey.

The Queens are unanimous.

Why are you giving Sean B four Crowns?

Once again, I'm really in this era in 2023 of wanting photographic evidence.

'I want there to be photos of how dirty it is.

Mm, good

Period.

But 'I do have an impact here.

'I.

'I generally trust Sean.

'I Appreciate the levity of like the G money and Audi 5,000, all of that,

And 'I, at the end of the day, regardless of whatever you're purchasing, you should not be

So 'I feel split here.

But ultimately you asking if you were trying to find A' car wash in LA and

And 'I think I'm not gonna go like 'I would look for A' di A'.

Different one.

Yeah.

So that's why 'I said four strong points.

Lasting impact, probably.

But not Queen, not total Queen.

Show me the dust.

'I.

Wanna see it?

yeah.

Show me the dust.

Why did you say four crowns?

'I said Four crowns because 'I.

Think it's A'.

Good review.

'I think it's solid.

I'm convinced.

'I think it has humor.

It's A'.

Little bit different.

We clearly had good intentions when we were writing it.

We balanced it out with A'.

Little compliment sandwich kind of in the middle.

Never really seen it done that way, but 'I think it was still effective here for Sean.

My one question that 'I am left with is if the car wash was so quick, too quick, then why didn't

My interior didn't get cleaned.

Seemingly you got outta there earlier than you thought you were going to, so maybe you could have

That's the one crown I'm leaving.

'I feel like we, we didn't comment on that.

Like that element of it, even though 'I guess that would be kind of A', Karen, confession.

But still you can talk to the manager.

to be in

not, but I'm just, I'm still giving them four crowns.

I'm just leaving one crown for speak.

Your mind.

In the moment and also

woken up.

maybe Shawn had morning voice and they just didn't feel like speaking that day.

But Shawn is pretty queenly for me,

Yeah.

Generally.

So

and 'I liked the review.

So four crowns for you, Shawn.

B

Good.

All right.

Well you should go ChelseyBD and report back live on the scene.

maybe 'I will Donn.

Don't know that 'I.

Trust him with my car though.

'I also like that you said the name 'cause that is such A' weird

'I know.

My mom like loves it.

She's just lo, she loves Sepulveda Boulevard.

It's just, you don't really, there aren't that many streets that have that many syllables

Especially like when SIR is like, it's like 'I, have no idea how to say that word.

have.

Right.

Anyway, what's the car wash song?

Working at the car wash.

Yeah.

whoa, whoa.

At the car wash

Just A' kid working at the car wash.

my $12 tip.

kid though.

Yeah.

Nice kid.

All right.

We have reached the most regal portion of our show.

Try.

Who are you inducting for?

My Royal line is,

So today 'I have A'.

Really exciting, good Samaritan story.

'I.

Love to bring these in every now and then.

So today, ChelseyBD, I'm gonna share with you and our listeners, A' little inspiration here

So today I'm going to induct.

An Ohio citizen named Robert Snead.

Yes, we're giving you first and last names because they deserve it.

So this is A' little story.

Robert was shopping with his daughter at Walmart in Ohio and they got A' cart.

'I would say buggy, but they don't say buggy.

In Ohio, probably they got A' cart and there was A' piece of paper

They thought was like A' shopping list.

So they grabbed it to like take it outta the cart and throw it away.

And they realized it was heavy and it was an envelope filled with $2,000 in cash.

Wow,

And the reason we know is because Robert Snead decided to do the right thing.

They looked, there was actually like A' bank statement inside as well,

It was A' Sunday, so the bank was closed, but Robert knew that whoever owned this

So all of these like news outlets have covered it and it did get back to the rightful owner.

But Robert said he was interviewed, of course, by the local news, and he says, I'd like to

For someone who's living paycheck to paycheck, this may set them back.

It can really mess up someone's summer.

He did the right thing.

'I mean $2,000 and, and think it's like A', Walmart, like 'I.

Don't know.

'I.

'I, just 'I.

Am touched by the story 'I.

Think it's really wonderful.

It is one of those moments of like, all right, like I'm being tested here.

Like, do 'I buy myself A' new flat screen tv or do 'I.

Do the

Do the right

Robert chose to do the right thing and so did that.

Manager 'I just wanna keep stressing that the

Oh yeah.

to A' manager, A' manager outta A', Walmart in Ohio, and that

So whoever that manager is, they also should be being

Good?

But they have

Good point.

Trey.

So Robert Snead, we see you.

We hear you.

Your daughter is gonna be thriving because of who you are.

And hopefully we all are touched by the story as much as 'I was.

So for that reason, Robert Sneed in Ohio, thank you for doing the right thing.

You are My Royal.

Highness

We snead more Robert Sneads in the world.

'I.

Wonder if, um, Robert Snead drives A' Toyota?

Snead, are you listening?

Snead.

Sneed.

Do you get it or no?

'I.

'I do get it?

'cause of the review.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Well we did A' Queen.

That is another round on the R Ru A' R Q Ferris Wheel of 'I Drive.

A' Toyota.

Thank you for joining us today.

If you like what you heard, please tell A' friend.

If you didn't like what you heard, please tell an enemy.

'I.

To support the production of our show, visit Review

Now on this week's after show, pod ChelseyBD and 'I are gonna be driving Toyotas.

We're also gonna be rating and reviewing A' two star Yelp review for McDonald's.

Uh oh.

Mickey D's.

We're coming for you.

So to find out what made ChelseyBD say 'I,

It is, but 'I think it's more than the signature sauce.

'I.

Think it's A' global issue and find out what made Trey say.

'I didn't want the fucking hot wheels.

Are you fucking kidding?

Then become A' member of our Patreon at Review That Review dot com slash patreon to

remember?

Ignore the haters.

You're A' Queen.

Gender nonspecific driving.

Toyota Queen.

That's right.

beep.

beep.

Bye.

Sign up directly on Apple Podcast to hear our weekly members only

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Our Kvetch line is open 24 7 at 1 8 5 0 review zero.

You never visit, you never write.

Give us A' call.

Now 'I.

Loser.

We're going shopping.

Have you ever just driven through A' car wash?

Just for the fun of it.

Like, it's like A' it.

It kind of feels like A' ride or something.

Donn don't know.

It's sort

'I feel like my dad would do that when we were little because he knew we

It's like A' two for one entertainment.

At the car washer.

Yeah.

Oh yeah.

Okay.