Alex: Today we’re meeting a woman who decided she wasn’t going to accept the limitations that other people placed on her.

Clare: I would always try and prove people wrong. And as a child, I thought, I'm going to do something. I don't know what it is. But I'm going to do something.

Alex: Clare Gray has two brothers and a sister. When she was little, the little clan of four kids would play all sorts of games together.

Clare: They used to hide me in the house. Fold me up into cupboards, or drawers, or wardrobes. And when my mum wasn’t looking, hide me, so my mum will go around the house looking for me and not be able to find me, but it was all a game between us. So I was the one saying go on, do it again, do it again, go on, let’s wind mum up.

Alex: It was a happy childhood, full of mischief and fun.

Clare: They used to put me on a bobsleigh, and hold on to me so that I could, you know, just be out in the snow like everybody else, or put me on a bouncy castle, because I can't actually move myself, they would put me on a bouncy castle and bounce around me, so that I would bounce. You know, they would always find innovative ways of actually making me part of what was going on.

Alex: Clare was diagnosed with a neuromuscular condition when she was a baby. The condition weakens her muscles and means she needs a lot of support.

Clare: So my brothers and my sister had to be very resilient, and grow up quite fast, because my mum’s time was taken a lot with me. And so they were left to their own devices. But they also knew… my mum taught them very much that I was nothing special. I was no different. And I was just, you know, treated like they were.

Alex: Like when it came to helping out around the house – Clare would have a list of chores to do just like her siblings.

Clare: But it was always made in such a way that I could do it. Cos I can't lift things or move things very well. So if there was drying up to do, I was given the knives and forks to do with a small tea towel. Because that was small enough for me to do.

Alex: Clare’s mum worked as a nurse, so she had experience of the medical world.

Clare: She would challenge you know, the medical people who would say, I wasn't well enough to do different things, or I wasn't going to live through various different bouts of illness, and she would find different ways to make me better.

Alex: Clare’s mum had a grit that influenced the whole family.

Clare: She did always tell me when I was very young, even if you’re going to put the tops on toothpaste tubes, Clare, you're going to work. So she was always very determined. And I think that's where I get my determination from as well.

Alex: If encouragement and support were the norm in Clare’s homelife, the same couldn’t always be said for other places.

Clare: As I got older, it was more, you know, I was more sort of faced with other people's attitudes towards it, making me feel different, making me think about my future, making me think that I wouldn't be able to do different things

That then began to sort of, it made me feel very conscious of myself, as I sort of went from childhood into my teenage years and thinking about the future.

Alex: Clare’s original prognosis was that she might not live past 18 months, let alone into adulthood. Her condition is what’s termed as “life-limiting”. And some people at her school took that literally.

Clare: The deputy head, she said to my parents, you know, Clare's time would be better spent focusing on crafts, and skills that she can do to keep herself busy.

Alex: Unsurprisingly, Clare didn’t take to that idea.

Clare: Inside, I was laughing, I

didn't, I was laughing, because I was thinking, I'm not gonna do that. Don’t know what she’s on about, she doesn’t know me. There’s no way I’m going to sit there doing crafts. As a child, I thought, I'm going to do something. I don't know what it is. But I'm going to do something.

Alex: Even at that young age – (Clare was 11) – she was defiant. There was one moment that was particularly galling to her.

Clare’s parents had been called in for a meeting with the school principal – about what studies Clare should pursue.

Clare: I was there but I wasn't involved in the conversation. Because at that time…

Alex: It was the mid-1980s at that point.

Clare: … as a young disabled person, you were never actively involved in the conversations about the future, it was always between the professional and your parents. So I was sat there listening.

Alex: Imagine not having a say in your own life. Clare says it was awful.

Clare: I was a young person, you know, I was developing my own sense of self. And I wanted to have an input into what the future held for me.

Alex: And the headteacher painted a pretty grim picture of what she thought Clare should do with her life.

Clare: The way she portrayed it to my parents, is that there wasn't really any point in me doing qualifications at school, or further education, because actually, I wouldn't ever be able to work, there wasn't any jobs that I was gonna be able to do. So it's better for me to look into sorts of residential care for me to look at ways in which I could keep myself busy, rather than look to employment or vocational skills.

Alex: Ironically, this meeting was happening in a plain room that was used for the school’s typing classes. Her parents were sitting in front of the teacher’s desk, Clare sitting off to the side, surrounded by typewriters.

Clare: So I remember being sat in this room thinking, you know I'd love to have a go at typing.

Alex: But she was essentially being told: you’ll never have a career – in typing or anything else.

Clare: It was just the overall lack of prospects for me. I think that's what came across to me, the lack of opportunity that there was– or the lack of even choice or decisions, it was like, this is what's going to happen and this is what the future holds. There was no question about it. There was no discussion.

But I remember sat there thinking, why aren't they asking me? Why aren't they involving me in this discussion? Why am I being left out?

I felt bleak in that situation. But then coming home, and talking to my mum, and talking things through at home, I always felt more positive. Because I knew my mum would always support me and be behind me.

My mum would always talk to me and say, What did you think? And me and her would have a conversation afterwards and I would give her feedback and then she would say I exactly agree with you. And that's what we're gonna do [laughs].

Alex: There was another person who came into Clare’s life and gave her hope. A couple of people, actually.

I think I was about 13. I was in the classroom. I had all my class friends sat around me.

Alex: Clare’s special educational needs school in south Bristol would organise different people to come in and talk to the students.

Clare: And on this one particular day, a lady and gentleman came to school, and they were both in wheelchairs. And they sat in front of us. And they told us all about how they had moved from residential care themselves. So they didn't have choice either, originally, but they had gone into residential care, they'd met each other, they'd fallen in love. And they wanted to set up home on their own. So they actually met with other professionals to try and get this organised for them. And it was a real battle for them. But they battled and they challenged the system, and they got what they want.

And that just changed my life for me, because I actually thought there's another alternative.

Alex: Up until then, Clare had always thought she would have to live in residential care, rather than independently. But this couple helped her realise, she had choices.

Clare: What I liked about them was, they were very ordinary people. And it was nice to see someone like me, in front of me talking about themselves, because in a special educational school, or then when I was there, you very often had professionals or medical people coming in to talk to you. You didn't see others like you, so somebody you could relate to, and think, if they can do it, I can do it. You know, and that was a lightbulb moment. For me, it was like, I've got a future, I could do something else, I don't need to live in a residential home, I can have an independent life away from my family.

Alex: Refusing to accept a life of “keeping busy”, Clare went to college and did work experience at her local council. They offered her a part-time job in data processing, but she turned it down – confident there was something more exciting out there.

Soon enough, at 18 she got an interview with the local electricity board. She thought it would last 20 minutes. An hour and a half later, she left the office.

Clare: But I came out smiling. Because I knew that I'd created a new job for myself, because I think they had come into the meeting thinking, this wasn't going to be possible. Because I was in a powered wheelchair, which is, you know, you don't in those days, you didn't see many people in powered wheelchairs working.

Alex: After six months of working on a training scheme, Clare got a job offer. But there was a catch: part of her salary would be paid by the government.

Clare: And I said, if you're going to put me on a government scheme, where my wages will be paid– partly paid, that will be on my record forever. And actually, I've proved to you while I've been here, that I can work at the same level as everybody else. So I don't want you to have my wages paid by the government. I would like you to pay my wages, to show that you value me as an employee, because I've demonstrated that I can do the job. And ah… they said yes! They would, which was my delight. I was so pleased.

Alex: Clare made waves at that company. They built an accessible ramp and toilet facilities, plus they introduced more inclusive fire safety training.

Clare: And even today, I'm still in contact with a lot of those people that work there. And they're great friends of mine. And they said how I completely changed their thoughts and their attitudes towards disabled people working there. To me, that's a legacy. I've opened up doors for other people.

Alex: In fact, opening doors for others became a crucial part of Clare’s career. She went on to work for Shaw Trust, a UK charity that supports people with complex needs into the workplace. Her first role there was as a development officer.

Clare: And that was to help people into employment in my local county. And I thought, d’you know what, I'm gonna have a go at that. I don't think I'll get it. But I’ll have a go, and I applied for the job, again, managed to sell myself during an interview, and came out with the job to my utter shock, and surprise.

Alex: That role then grew into working on the Disability Power 100, a list that the Shaw Trust puts together to celebrate the strengths of people with diabilities.

Clare: The Disability Power 100 is about profiling, and telling the stories, shining a light on people, disabled people that are influential in all different sectors. Through their successes, they are opening doors for other young disabled people who are extremely talented, to be able to fulfil their ambitions and their aspirations for the future.

And this really resonates with me, because as a youngster, I didn't have role models. I didn't have anybody to look up to. So this is why I love being part of the Power 100 because I can see people like me, and I can see the difference it can make.

Alex: Like that couple who made such an impression on her when she was in school, these days Clare lives independently. She employs a team of nine assistants who she thinks of as family.

Ultimately, Clare wants to make people think differently about disability.

Clare: I've heard it said, I'm an inspiration. And as a disabled person, I don't like that word. Because inspiration can mean that there's low levels or, you know, people's assumptions are quite low of your abilities. But actually, if you're an inspiration to make people change, and to change their attitudes, to change their thoughts about disability…. I'm okay with that. I'm perfectly okay with that. Because it makes me feel that I've done good. I've done good for other people.

Alex: There is an expression that comes to mind as I reflect on Clare’s story: the soft bigotry of low expectations. This form of bigotry stereotypes a person because of their background. It states that a said person is less capable, therefore, less is to be expected from them. Clare has had to face this form of bigotry since her school days. And she has had to work extremely hard to overcome the low expectations many have had of her. Yet, her inner-belief and the support of her mum have helped her to make the most of her abilities. Clare’s ambitions for herself were elevated after seeing a disabled couple living the lives of their choosing. She is now doing the same and can help to change minds about the ways that people with disabilities are perceived. What is most significant about Clare is not her limitations, it’s her ability to overcome them.