Today's topic does not really need an introduction.

I'm going to speak today about the untold journey of the masculine.

We see this playing out in today's world.

I'm going to name it.

The journey from bad boy to spiritual fuckboy, and then hopefully,

eventually to awakened man.

There is humor in this, yes, but I'm serious.

This is playing out more than ever before.

So many men get stuck in the bad boy archetype or in the spiritual

fuckboy, spiritual bypassing archetype.

What does it really mean to shift from these stages of evolution

into being an awakened man?

How can women discern?

So this episode is for both men and women.

Today will be intense, today will be raw, but never from a place

of shaming anyone, men or women.

From a place of truth and fierce compassion.

Welcome to the Masculine and Feminine Dynamics podcast.

My name is Lorin Krenn.

I'm a coach, author, and hypnotherapist.

I help you to understand masculine and feminine dynamics.

Let's dive in.

The bad boy phase is the archetypical start.

It's man driven by raw last, the chase, the need for conquest and

conquering, to be seen in that, to prove his worth through that.

There is a very strong ego and deep rooted wounds at the core here.

He seems powerful on the outside, but is always, not often, always

deeply insecure on the inside.

Everything is driven by the need for validation.

There is no healthy sense of wholeness, integration, self-worth.

There is no sense of service thinking of the greater good of all.

There is a complete lack of awareness of integrity, presence,

empathy, emotional attunement.

There's a huge disconnect from all these things.

The reason why women are drawn to the bad boy is not because he's safe or

because he's consistent or stable.

They're drawn to him because there is a charge to him.

It's almost intoxicating, his unapologetic desire, his rawness, his boldness.

He's got an edge to him.

He's wild, he's primal, but he's not channeling this primal energy

in a good way, in greater service.

He's channeling it to strengthen his own ego.

So the polarity that women experience with such a man is real.

But what's an illusion is that this man will be stable or safe or consistent.

Many women try to change this man.

They go, you feel intoxicated, and the charge that you feel is real, it's

not fake and it's not an illusion.

It's just, it's not safe.

And also it comes at the cost of broken trust, betrayal, emotional chaos, a

total lack of integrity, no consistency.

You cannot rely on the bad boy.

He doesn't respect himself, and therefore he doesn't respect others, he's got

no concept of the idea of respect ultimately, and honor and integrity.

And even though there might be an intoxicating charge, it's shallow.

There is no sacred intimacy.

There is no true presence at play here.

When I was in my self-centered archetype, in my journey of

evolution, I only cared about myself.

I only thought of myself.

I was completely emotionally unavailable, not attuned to

anything going on around me.

I noticed that I was so disconnected from that, that a huge part of my journey

was to shift out of that was actually to connect deeply with integrity, with doing

what is right, embodying and speaking my truth, and I had to move through deep

shame and pain of having lived out of integrity with myself and with the world.

The reason why this is so hard is because at first the journey creates more shame.

I say this to all the men in my men's groups, when we first claiming integrity,

none of us feel cool or great, or Wow, how empowering we actually feel shame.

Not because the shame wasn't there, and now it's here.

It was always there.

You cannot hurt others, show up like a complete arse in this world

and feel good about yourself.

You, it's impossible.

That shame is there.

The shame of being out of integrity, the shame of not speaking truth, the shame of

not thinking of the greater good for all.

It's always there.

It's just the bad boy is numbed out from it.

Now, this is where it leads us into the, the next phase.

We can call it the spiritual bypasser, or we can call it the spiritual fuckboy

phase, to be even more vulgar about it.

Now, the bad boy or the self-centered man eventually meets his limits.

He might experience heartbreak.

He might genuinely realize that he was in love, he couldn't be stable, he couldn't

be consistent, and now for the first time, he starts to experience a deep pain

because he lost a woman he deeply cared about, but he only realized too late.

He might suddenly have a deep epiphany and moment of realization of how empty

his life is, that there is no substance, there is no depth, there is no purpose.

Everything is so empty and superficial, and that can almost lead to a sense of

spiritual depression, which is painful, but also starts to the return of

sensitivity, emotional attunement, being able to feel, to care to be present.

So painful but important because on the flip side of that is the heart,

is the emotional attunement that this man actually needs in his evolution.

And while this sounds great and it is great, what can happen here is

that as a man goes down that path and has a genuine epiphany and genuine

insights, they're not an illusion or fake, but his ego and shadow take over

once again and start to spiritualize his desires instead of healing them.

This is where the spiritual bypassing or the spiritual fuckboy stage comes in.

This man might say, now it's all about energy, connection, sacred

sexuality, divine union, all the right language is being used, and he even

believes that language himself, but it's still there for him or using

women to feel good about himself.

That wound with the feminine hasn't gone anywhere.

It has just become spiritualized.

Now the conquest is wrapped in spiritual language.

He might be at a festival, dancing, an ecstatic dance,

burning the sage and seeing how divine and holy it this moment is.

But deep down, he's using women, he's taking, he's coming from a, taking energy.

Am I judging this man?

I can definitely say it's completely out of integrity, but judging, no.

Because the harsh truth is most men don't do this consciously.

No excuse, I know.

We all have to take responsibility and hold ourselves accountable, but most

men don't do any of this consciously.

That drive, that last, it just takes over.

This man might use the right words, goddess, divine feminine, talks about

sacred intimacy and going deeper, but that superficial last and conquest, and using

women to feel better about himself, that that core wound of needing validation,

which often comes from a little boy who, who's felt abandoned, neglected, rejected,

unseen, unmet, underneath is still a self-serving desire, still unconsciously

addicted to the novelty, the conquest the validation, but it's harder to spot.

It's all cloaked in, in spiritual language, in the breath

work, cacao, the ayahuasca.

These things are powerful, they're beautiful, they're potent, they're sacred.

But you can use a sacred tool for self-serving interests.

It's a fundamental truth of life.

We are more powerful than the tool.

And ultimately the tool only reveals or is an amplification of

our intention and our true desire.

And if someone does these things to still go and chase women and get validation,

and get validation for sexual conquest, the tool is not going to help a lot.

The holy cacao is not gonna unfold its power because the

intention is dirty behind it.

So again, these tools are powerful.

They are incredibly potent, but what's even more potent is who you

decide to be and what your genuine intention is for all these things.

You will know in any sacred ceremony, if it's a breathwork, a cow, ayahuasca,

whatever ceremony it is, you will know, for instance, with a very good

shaman that it's all about intention.

The danger here is that women will often think they've found an awakened

man, and the man will think that he's become awakened, even though he's still

operating from that need for validation, using and taking energy, taking from

the feminine because it's the wound of the feminine hasn't been truly faced.

The heartbreak for women here cuts even deeper because you can't really say, oh,

he was just an arse, You say, he said all the right things, it felt amazing.

I thought he was different.

But same pain, the same lack of integrity.

At the end of it, still talking to his ex, cheating, lying, omitting

information, which is a form of lying, spiritualizing things.

It's very easy to, to hate on this man, to say, oh, how dare he?

What a, and I understand.

I understand how painful this is.

But at the same time, I can assure you.

Most men don't do this consciously.

It's a deep wound, and again, we have to take responsibility.

There's no excuse for our behavior, but it's unconscious for many, many

men, and I've helped so many men guided them through this journey.

Obviously they came to me because they realized they wanted to change something.

I cannot help someone who is in a total spiritual fuckboy state because that

man is not realizing what is going on, he's still playing the game of hiding

from himself, hiding from his shadows.

But when a man sees through that, he will often come to me and he

will say, something needs to change.

the reason why I've got so much compassion and no judgment is because

if everyone here listening, both men and women, if you would see behind

the scenes when I guide these men, you would see a man with a big heart.

You would see a little boy who's been completely abandoned.

Not always, there's some real narcissists out there who are absolutely deliberately

manipulating, taking and doing things that are so out of integrity, but

here I'm really talking about a man who's so trapped, has been neglected,

abandoned, never had a proper masculine role model, and he's so lost in that.

A man who is in the spiritual bypassing state simply hasn't

truly gone deep enough.

They haven't yet seen the extent of their wounding and need for

validation with the feminine.

They haven't seen that this is at the core of what they need to work through

to actually evolve in consciousness.

They're focusing on all the things that are wrong that don't make any difference.

You can't become present without actually facing the emotions you are avoiding.

It's bullshit.

It's fake.

You can't access higher states of consciousness through a powerful ceremony

until you actually sit with the raw shame, regret, and pain you have caused.

There is no airy fairy escaping, and now I'm awakened without going into the dirt,

without actually facing the really painful things that we're still running from.

And here many men get stuck.

They don't fully evolve out of it, but there is a third stage in the evolution.

This is where a man moves beyond performance and projection.

A man who stops spiritualizing things and actually asks

himself what am I doing here?

Is this really the way I want to live?

Am I a man of my world?

Am I embodying and living truth?

Am I being in service or am I still taking and using others for my own ego?

This need to be seen as powerful, as spiritual, as special starts to slowly

dissipate and instead an enormous devotion to truth, integrity, and presence emerges.

The spirituality is no longer up in the air.

It becomes grounded.

It becomes about doing what is right, even when it's hard.

Speaking truth, even when it's not easy taking ownership and no

longer hiding from the deeper pain.

Intimacy is no longer a transaction.

It becomes an offering.

It has a much deeper sacred quality to it.

There is an actual giving in the bedroom, not a taking in

the bedroom from the feminine.

There is a deep actual embodied reverence.

He doesn't pursue polarity to get more sex.

Polarity becomes an expression of his truth.

The whole awakened man is not about getting more women into bed.

It's because that's who he truly chooses to be at the deepest level behind

the scenes when no one is watching.

Because the truth is this.

A man who's a bad boy, a man who's a spirit of fuckboy, none

of them truly respect themselves.

None of them can look into the mirror and say, I'm proud of the man I am.

So by nature, it's all hiding.

Hiding from that truth, life becomes one great avoidance.

Rather than one Great divine journey of truly.

Leaving a legacy of love, of presence, of truth, and of integrity.

The awakened man is not perfect.

He's not embodying some idea, but he's embodying the truth.

And someone who embodies truth can be relied on and trusted on.

He might lose presence.

He might not follow through with a small promise, but he will always return to his

center, and such a man can be trusted.

He's not doing anything for or in order to.

He's doing it for himself first and foremost.

Such a man can be relied upon.

And the craziest thing is he becomes the most attractive man, exactly.

Because he's not trying.

He's no longer looking to be the most attractive, to get

the most amount of validation.

Him letting go of that and choosing truth, integrity, devotion, and the sacred path

is exactly what makes him so magnetic.

He has that raw edge and mysticism to him like the bad boy, but in an integrated,

in a grounded way, in a conscious way that serves the greater good of all.

He's still primal, powerful, a protector, passionate but in service

to love, in service to something greater, not in service, to absolute

utter distraction and chaos.

Most women haven't met such a man, but some women in their healing journey,

they're not fully ready for such a man as well, 'cause there might be still

a strong father wound at play and the level of consistency and safety of such

a man might be confused with boredom.

So there's nuance to this, and I generally believe that many women don't experience

or don't know this level of attraction, because perhaps they haven't been in

deep presence with such a man, because he's got an edge to him and a rawness.

The bad boy embodies unconscious, primal masculine energy.

The spiritual fuckboy embodies a projected sense of compassion, empathy,

and love and higher consciousness while still operating from that

unconscious, primal masculine energy.

And the awakened man is the one who walks the journey of integration and wholeness.

He both does the work of accessing higher level of consciousness, opening

his heart, and at the same time reclaims his primal as well, because that

primal is part of our power as man.

The man who rejects the primal.

Is the man who loses his power.

That's another illusion on the path.

All of these things can be used in greater service.

All of who we are as men.

There's nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to be ashamed of our

drive, our ambition, our desire.

But it needs to be rooted in unwavering integrity, and when it is,

all of these things become a gift.

All of these things make a man attractive and magnetic.

Exactly because he doesn't try to be, he's walking the path from truth because

that's what he really chooses to do.

No matter who's watching.

For the women listening, this is why discernment matters.

Not all conscious men are truly conscious.

Watch for the subtle sign.

Watch whether integrity is truly at the forefront or integrity is bypassed in the

name of Holiness or divinity or whatever.

That's not spirituality.

That's the hidden wound of validation.

And for the men listening, if you felt a sting today, if you felt called out,

fantastic, that means you are aware.

That means you can see through it.

And now it is time to face that.

Forget about all the other stuff, focus on healing the wound of validation with

the needing validation from the feminine to feel secure as a man, sourcing

yourself worth from the feminine.

Focus on integrity and your evolution will skyrocket.

You will expand and grow and step into your power as a man as never before.

This will impact every area of your life.

Your ability to create abundance in your life, your ability to speak

your truth, to stand in your power.

Everything becomes amplified.

Until you face this.

It's surface.

It's not rooted in true depth.

So there's a lot more at play here.

But I wanted to give a kind of general overview of these stages without

having the time to go into the subtle nuances of absolutely everything here.

I'm so grateful that you are here, that I can be of service in your journey, or

you're a man, woman listening to this.

I'm so honored.

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