Hi everyone.

Welcome back to another wisdom episode.

And today I'm talking about something that brings me a lot of joy and that is joy, creativity and finding our fulfillment.

This is something I feel so passionately about, that, yes, we have to talk about the many, many challenges that we face, but we also have to focus on finding more joy and fulfillment and purpose in our lives.

And that is why I've dedicated two chapters, two or three chapters actually talking, talking about this type of thing in my brand new book, the ADHD Women's Wellbeing Toolkit.

Because it is so important that we are living purpose driven lives, joy filled lives, creative filled lives.

I really wanted to highlight this in today's episode because we are constantly given all the negatives about adhd and it's really important that we also focus on what we can harness and how we can channel this energy.

And I am delighted to bring back one of my guests from a couple of years ago.

Her name is Andrea McDowell.

She is a flower farmer and the founder of Dahlia Beach.

You might see her on Instagram.

She's amazing.

A colorful pop of energy and creativity, but also truth and vulnerability as well, which is really, really important.

You'll hear from this clip how she went from being a novice gardener to an RHS medal winner.

And we also talk about this inspiration of finding what brings you joy and how ADHD resilience and passion can lead to finding fulfillment later on in life, maybe after this diagnosis, so we get more clarity and how our ADHD brains can see the seed of an idea before anyone else.

And you'll also hear from Jude Schwepp, who is a contributor in my brand new book.

She's a creativity expert.

She was one of my very early guests on the podcast.

So you're going to hear some of her wisdom on leaning into your creativity.

But first, here is my conversation with Andrea McDowell.

I love flowers and I love being outdoors in nature and it's a healer.

So I just got, I, I was like, right, I'm going to start digging up the lawn and planting loads more flowers in it because I needed something to do for me, you know, that wasn't, yeah, that wasn't homeschooling or, you know, just cooking, cleaning and doing everything else that is right under your nose all the time when you were in lockdown.

So I started, I gave myself a target.

So I said in September of that 2020, I'm going to open my garden up to the National Garden Scheme, which is really brilliant charity.

No one's ever heard of it should definitely check it out.

And the money.

So people can pay to come and have a look around your garden.

My husband was like, what?

Like, why would people pay to color in a garden?

I was like, well, that's because I haven't started yet.

It's finished.

Gonna look like Chelsea freaking flower show, so just watch me.

So I spent that whole summer growing everything from seed and tuber, and I ordered, like, 200 dahlia tubers, which I loved, and I've just never had the time to do.

So it did look pretty amazing by the end of it, because I'm a bit all or nothing, but there's no, like, half just.

It's not, like, half in.

It's, like, all ours in.

Yeah.

So, yeah, so it looked bloody brilliant.

And.

And it grew very quickly because dahlias do.

And everybody that came were like, God, it must take years to get a garden like this.

I was like, no, Literally look, like, two, like, three months.

People couldn't even.

I was like, oh, it's really easy.

I literally just got into it, and now I'm, like, going with these massive flowers the size of your head, and you can pick them, and they.

More.

They grow more.

And people were just incredulous.

So I was like, oh.

And by that time, I'd started sharing what I was doing on Instagram and met in such a lovely community of people that were young.

You know, people my age.

I say young, 42 years young, and that sort of old age.

And we all just gelled and supported each other and just shared pictures of our gardens every day.

And it was.

It was so nice.

It was.

It felt like connecting to a shared love of nature and flowers and.

And just really supportive, lovely group of people.

So, yeah, and then I said, I think I'm gonna.

I'm gonna start a business where I send people kits that they just put in their garden, and I'll do all the videos and make it really exciting and really accessible and relatable and fun and not like, oh, here I am in my west wing of my garden.

Like, you know, like, who has a west wing of the garden?

Like, just get out on your patio and put it in a pot.

It's fine.

And that's what I did.

And then.

So I ordered 4,000 dahlia tubers, and I just borrowed five grand.

What's a tuber?

It's like the.

The root that grows these dahlias.

Okay.

Yes.

I said to my mom, so it's not from.

It's not from seed, then.

This is.

Okay.

Yeah, it's Like a sweet potato looking thing, big bulb.

And I said to my mom and dad, I've got this really great business idea.

You were like, oh God, here we go.

We're still recovering from your life.

I was like, no, this one, this one I think is better than the last one.

This is gonna be much better.

I know it.

So I did spend for, yeah, I spent like five grand on him and bringing it.

I didn't spend money on anything else.

I just brought all these tubers over and I started selling them as collections, like curated together to make a beautiful border in a box of people that hadn't done it before.

And I started pre, pre selling them because they don't arrive in the UK until March and I started selling them in November.

By the time it got to January, it sold out.

I was like, oh, that's annoying, but good.

And I was like, right, this bodes well, doesn't it?

I sold out before I've even sent the first one out.

And that was all through sort of curating this community and sharing, sharing my journey because loads of people watching me going, wow, this is either gonna crash and burn or she's gonna be okay.

So let's just watch and see what happens, I think.

And then I thought, well, this is seasonal.

And that was the problem with the wedding business.

That was the reason why we were never really successful in a financial way, hugely financial way, because it was so seasonal and I needed to get a way around that.

So you can only sell tubers, the bulbs until May.

So I was like, I know, I'll set up a flower farm.

It's really hard to set up a flower farm now that I know.

But anyway, I did that and yeah, and I approached a local farm here that do pick your own fruit and they've got a huge site with crazy golf and a soft play.

And I said to them, went with this presentation and said I have no experience in horticulture or like qualifications and I don't come from a farming background, but I am insanely passionate and highly motivated, hard working and if you give me an acre of land here on your site, they get a million visitors a year anyway.

I was like, if you give me an acre as you come in, I promise you they will come.

I will build this thing where people could come pick flowers and we'll make flower crowns and we will like.

I went, I went about and bought a pink double decker bus for no, you know, no reason, just other than it was really cool.

I was like, I'm going to put this Double decker bus in the middle of this field.

It's going to be surrounded by amazing flowers and people from all over the UK are going to come and they're going to find how much fun there is in picking flowers and playing with flowers.

And the guys that cut at Millets were like, okay.

We'Re just going to say yes to get you out the room.

So yeah.

And I said, I like, I think this will really work.

And it was obviously much harder than you think it is, but.

And also I knew that to get recognized in the industry I would need to.

They'd move Chelsea Flower show, which is Normally in its 110 year history, in May and they moved it to September.

And I knew that that was going to be my once in a lifetime opportunity to create a display at the world's best flower show in September.

It would never be.

And that's when my flowers are in flower.

My flowers don't flower in May, they only flower in September.

So I was like, this is it, John.

If I'm gonna do this, I've gotta get to Chelsea.

I was like a bit, you know, tunnel vision.

I don't know if other people will identify with that, but I was like, that's what I've gotta do.

And people were like, you've, you don't, you have never done this before.

Like it.

The RHS woman was like, it takes 10, you know, years and years.

I don't want to disappoint you.

I just trying to manage your expectations and because I felt a bit like eagle.

What's the guy?

Eddie the eagle.

Oh, I love, yeah, fabulous.

The flower version.

Years to build up to Chelsea.

I was like, I haven't got years and years.

You're never going to run it in September again.

Please, please let me exhibit.

And I wouldn't go again.

I wouldn't go away.

And they said in the end, right, we've come back with a compromise.

You've got no track record, you are a bit of a maverick by your own admission.

You can go out this summer, prove yourself by winning two gold medals at two shows.

We will consider letting you in.

Right.

How hard can that be?

Google Wedding award winning medal gardens And I went and won a gold at Blenheim Palace Flower show and I got highly commended at Hampton Court and then they eventually let me in and then I won general's award at Chelsea which is like literally the stuff that James are made of.

So I mean this is why I invited you onto the podcast because you know, you are a visionary but your Hyper focus.

And your, I mean, you said maverick and I said, that is the word I've been looking for is this ADHD brain that basically just goes, you know what?

I can do this.

And then we put aside all our fears and worries and we go into kind of hyper focus mode.

We go into that kind of, like, place where we just like our energy, our creativity, our vision, our imagination, everything just takes us.

Yeah.

And that is why we see so many incredible successful entrepreneurs with adhd.

And the reason why they're so successful is because they're leading with their heart, their creativity, their passion, their energy.

And so when people say, I don't know what to do, I don't know how to, you know, be successful with adhd, it's like put everything aside, put all the conditioning, all the fear, all the shoulds, and just go into that, like, what's your niche?

Like, what do you love?

Like, it doesn't matter how weird and wacky that is.

It doesn't matter about qualifications or certificates or experience.

It just shows that you went in with that.

You, you were led with your energy, you had a vision and you were, you were really strong with your convictions, that you knew that you had what it takes.

And I just want it to land for everybody that's listening right now, because we don't live in sort of like this crowd cuckoo land.

Like, you've put in a huge amount of time, hard work, energy, money.

You've put things on the line, perhaps, you know, like weekends, family time, relationships.

I understand that this has not just been plain sailing for you, but you have just kept going, one foot in front of the other.

And that is when we start seeing, like, the difference, that disparity between those entrepreneurs that make it and keep going and the resilience, clearly that you've got as well.

And I just love the fact that you were convincing people from all these, like, establishments, you know, and you're like, no, no, I can do it.

And it's almost like you knew that you needed to prove them wrong and that kind of spurred you on even more.

Yeah.

I think the best thing people can do is underestimate me.

I want to bring this clip to you from Jude Schwepp.

We are talking about creativity and harnessing that and she comes from a place of deep understanding.

She is a coach for creatives and performers and is really passionate about the role creativity plays in supporting our mental health.

We talk about overcoming our fears and resistance around creativity.

You'd be surprised that many of us have these blocks and why?

Essentially, calming the nervous system could be the key to your creative life.

Here it is.

How do we start moving forwards towards this kind of creativity?

Well, I am such a believer in the power of the humble step.

So I think, you know, you might have an idea for a big vision, but breaking it down into the humblest, humblest step.

And where do you start?

Because, I mean, for many of us, taking that leap is just not possible.

It's just not possible from going, you know, I have this fantastic job.

It pays well, you know, all my bills are covered.

I've got two holidays a year.

But actually, what I really want to do is, you know, go and make documentary films, you know, and the brain will actually prevent us from making that huge leap until we have broken it down into a really, really solid route map.

And it starts with something that's completely achievable.

So I would say if you have, you know, a sort of a big idea and a big vision, and, you know, as your client said, she knew straight away, she knew straight away what she wanted to do.

And I believe that when we give ourselves that permission, or somebody like you asks us and just says, what is it that you want?

What is it that you want to do?

What is it that your soul is calling for?

Your soul knows straight away, straight away, because it's been there.

It's been there for such a long time.

And finally it's like, oh, somebody's paid attention.

Somebody's paying attention to me.

And now I get to say what I really, really want to do.

So tune into it.

Sit with it for a while.

You know, sit with it for a couple of weeks and just get really curious about it.

Again, coming back to this sense of curiosity, ask yourself why it's important.

Why does this matter to me?

Why do I have something that I really want to say?

Why do I have something that I really want to create and get really, really crystal clear on what that thing is, and then just work backwards.

And I think, you know, that will calm the nervous system, that will sort of reassure the sabotaging voices that come in and give you 55 reasons why you can't do this thing.

So I always get clients to just work it right, right back to beginning.

And you just take the first step, and you take the first step.

That feels like, yeah, I can do this.

This will fit in with work.

This will fit in around the kids.

This feels like something that will get me started, and that starts to get the momentum going, and that starts to build the resonance and build the energy and then you just keep, you know, you just keep taking the next step.

So I always say to clients, just keep asking yourself, what's the next humble step that I can take?

And that comes from the whole idea of humble step comes from this wonderful quote by Julia Cameron, who wrote the Artist's Way.

And she says that, you know, everything that we want is on the other side of fear and take action to get to the beyond fear.

And the way to take action is to make the step humble enough and small and enough.

Small enough that we are willing to take it.

So it's, it's kind of breaking down that resistance, it's overcoming that fear.

And also again, to go back to Liz Gilbert, I quote her all the time.

It's kind of disconnecting yourself from the need for it to be something significant.

You know, disconnect yourself from the outcome and just really, really connect to the process and what it's giving you and what you're learning about yourself and what you're experiencing.

That's creativity and that is the gift of creativity is in the process.

So, you know, obviously it would be amazing if your book got published.

It would be amazing if you got into the studio and recorded an album or if your, you know, your succulent business took off and all of a sudden, you know, that's bringing in loads of money, but it's not the thing.

And when you, when you kind of put pressure on the creativity to be the thing, that's when doubts start to creep in.

You sort of block the creative flow and you, and you sort of, you scupper the creative process.

So it's, it's always just about first humble step, allowing things to unfold, following the breadcrumbs, trusting your intuition and, and staying tuned to those whispers because they'll never lead you astray.

They'll never lead you astray.

We spend our whole life in this autopilot, rushing especially you know, again I go back to like my ADHD listeners of, of just feeling like we're never quite doing enough.

They've always got more to achieve.

And this just being, I'd say our nervous systems always just feeling on like high drive and, and so we don't feel relaxed, we feel quite restless and we are, there's a quite a lot of negative self talk as to like, why haven't you been more productive?

Why haven't you been more productive?

So holds us back from leaning into that creativity.

Because creativity may not look productive.

It may feed something deep within us that is going to have long Term effects.

But if we've got just say school uniforms to buy and shopping to do and cooking and, you know, work, work, things that we need to, you know, do.

But actually what would really benefit us at that time is to go outside and do some gardening.

It's really hard to put that on the top of the priority list.

But I would say, I mean, I don't know, but I would say that just being mindful of it and being aware that we have got access to that as a way to calm our nervous system, which to me is like, probably should be at the top of my, you know, my priority list.

Because if I'm calm and balanced and feeling kind of, I would say, just relaxed, then everything else flows.

But so many of us don't prioritize this type of thing in life, do we?

Absolutely.

Because it feels like, it feels like an indulgence in a way, particularly, you know, if you are a busy parent and you've got kids and you're.

And your life is kind of revolving around them and just to sort of go back to that idea of, you know, that being part of your, of your self care regime, your self care routine.

I mean, being creative is so, so similar to being, you know, in a meditative state, you know, because you're activating that part of your brain, the sort of the alpha brain waves where it's restful, it's calm, you're alert, you're focused, but you're, you know, completely devoid of stress for that half an hour, that hour that you give yourself.

So I hope you enjoyed listening to this shorter episode of the ADHD Women's Wellbeing Podcast.

I've called it the ADHD Women's Wellbeing Wisdom.

Because I believe there's so much wisdom in the guests that I have on and their insights.

So sometimes we just need that little bit of a reminder.

And I hope that has helped you today and look forward to seeing you back on the brand new episode on Thursday.

Have a good rest of your week.