Guys need their tribe. Anytime that you can get a group of men together in

their own environment, the conversations that are had, they're with their people that understand

Men want to fix shit. That's how we are. Men are problem solvers. What's

There's nothing wrong for asking for help, but especially when people are coming out

That's the biggest issue that a lot of blokes will face when a mate does come to them

and go, oh, that's an easy fix. Fuck, that's not a good thing to say to someone who's

The correct way to deal with a mate coming for help is to... Welcome to

And we're just a pair of average blokes on a mission to try and be

We're going to speak about all things highs and lows of what it feels like to be a bloke,

plus speak to some legends along the way about what it takes to be a better bloke. Let's

get stuck in. We

are back for another episode of the Better Bloke Podcast, where today

we're going to speak about life, speak about

our charity that we have, because it's good to remind people that we're not just

a podcast, we are a fully registered not-for-profit Australian

Yeah, so we're well and truly into 2025 now. Things

have kicked off. The end of 2024 was

really about solidifying what we

were doing with the project. We were able to run a shitload of events during

that time, get the podcast well and truly going. 2024 saw

heaps of cool guests on, but this year is

all about doing more of those events and

doing new events, doing stuff like that to get the community together, get

the boys together. Of course, continue the podcast, have more chats, learn

a bunch of new stuff from new people. And yeah,

I guess really take on what we're trying to

I see it more of, we're already adding value to one, our

listeners, I hope. If we're adding value, feel free to

reach out to us. But just the boys

that we're speaking to out in public in the spaces that

we're giving them, I feel like the value is already there, but

Large scale, like I know you're a massive fan of the in-person conversations. And

that's, you know, I did a barbecue and chill event a few weeks ago, had

a couple of boys come in and the, like

guys came to chat. Like we were making them

family friendly. So boys are coming in and just mingling. But

some guys come in with, there's a certain thing going

on in my life. And I know these guys might have something

to say about it or they'll just listen. So I

really like that. And I think the more times we can give people

opportunity to do that, it might only be a small percentage

of the amount of guys that come to our events, but

I think that's like super powerful. I'd love to do that on large

I think even if you're hosting these events and only

one person that comes there has a conversation, that's

Yeah, we had a couple at the end of last year and they

were in December, they were the day after Christmas parties. There was

one where it was like torrential rain. So the turnout wasn't very

good. And I wasn't at all

upset. I didn't class it as a fail because not a lot of people came because

there was two conversations in particular with two guys that

needed to happen. And I think there was a lot of benefit to them. And

I drove home, it was like an hour and a half drive to get there. I drove home

I love it. Yeah. That's a hundred percent. And I think it's, that's, that's

something that's taken me a little while as we're

kicking this off is to go like, what's considered a win, what's not

considered a win. I think anything that I feel

we're actually making a difference is a hundred percent of win. And

Ripple effects from one small ripple, big waves are

Is it more positive, more negative? Obviously, it's pretty much all

positive. Because we're trying to do good shit. So January

has been off to a good start. So we came back from SummerNats, did

that whole event down there. And we've just run

like the first barbecue event of the year. But

We are. It's going to be a year full of new

adventures. I think that's probably the best way to put it.

New collaborative efforts, adventures, experiences. We

did one last year in the jujitsu scene. We've spoken about that before. We

got one coming up this weekend, which is a completely different

scene, but it's much the same as going into an existing

community and I guess bringing in what we're talking about

and what we're doing and just mingling with that scene.

And it's kind of a, it's a hunting and cooking, Weekend

away, boys trip out. I don't even know how to explain it. It's primal.

Primal. Primal. Primal. So there's a guy called

Gordon, awesome dude, had plenty of chats with him and

he runs this event every year on his parents'

property. He's a big avid hunter himself and he gets a

lot of the community together from New South Wales and Victoria. And

he runs this three-day event. Come out, it's archery, it's

rifles. He gets some of the big sort of chefs in

the scene who process venison essentially.

Game cooking, all that stuff. And obviously all the guys that come,

this is like their primary hobby. So to be together

with that many boys is exactly like the jiu-jitsu thing. They start being

able to bond over shared experiences and have this one event

every year that they get to really dig their teeth into, pardon

Yeah. So I'm excited for that. I think this

is going to be one of my favorite events because it's something I've always actually wanted to

do. This living off the land thing, sustainable hunting

Just that was the most vegan way to explain hunting, living

Yeah, 100%. No, I think it's, I'm

a big advocate for, obviously we both are, but anytime

that you can get a group of men together in their own environment, like

we've said it time and time again, guys need their tribe. Once

they're in their tribe, the conversations that are had, they may not

necessarily be all the heavy, hard hitting conversations all the time, but when

they do lean into that side, they're with their people that

understand it. And that's the happy place. So you want to have those conversations

The artist, he was the one that put us in touch with this

guy. Gordon called me up and we were just having a chat about

what we actually do here at the project. And I kind

of said to him pretty bluntly, I'm like, we don't want to get

these boys together in a campsite, hold hands, sing Kumbaya and

then start crying together. We want to be doing all

the shit that they're there to do. And at the same time,

we're having these shoulder to shoulder conversations, just bloke

stuff, life stuff. Let's talk about what's going on. And with

the overarching, I guess, idea that

the Better Bloke Project is there and what we do, it

provides like a little bit of extra space for them to talk

to one another, talk to us. And I don't

know, it sets a slightly different tone without changing

Yeah. And I think that's, that's our whole approach to it with even with Summonats,

we've spoken about it many times. We're not there to have the conversations

unless obviously people want to come. It's us

putting it out there saying, Hey, if you want to have these conversations, the

opportunity is here to do so. And just by us doing so,

like, I guess, flying the flag, so to speak, that's

enough to make guys go, Oh, just a little bit in the back of their head. Much

like when we spoke to Jimmy, he just trickles it in. Guys don't want to

have that. feeling of needing to open up

all the time. Just trickle it in, let them know that,

yeah, it's available if it's there, but that's essentially

We're fast approaching a year since we actually launched this,

Yeah, it's still a few months off. What do you think is some of the

biggest things you've learned going into this project? About

About men, about the men that we're trying to deal with. Cause you know, we've

done the blokes advice thing. We've seen a lot of it, but

This is, I wouldn't say it's, it's so different to

how we've done the blokes advice thing, but I think the fact that we've lent into the

better bloke project, the way in which we have, it's,

it's very much told me that the way that we do it works just

with the conversations that we're having. It's not heavy all the time.

We still throw banter around. We'll have a laugh. But

then from us building that rapport with all these blokes,

the opportunity is there if they feel comfortable enough

What do you see as some of the primary things

At the moment it's hardship with like, it's financial hardship.

That's the heavy thing. Guys are feeling so many burdens and pressures on them to

provide for their family. And it's

fucking hard at the moment. Like so hard. Especially

like we're just coming through the end of Christmas last month. Guys

were literally stretching themselves to breaking point just

to be able to provide presents for their kids, gifts

for their missus, food for the family. A lot of them, a

lot of the boys I spoke to were, they were working casual jobs so they weren't

Yeah, that's probably one of the biggest things I've seen

leans directly into that. And it's mainly the guys dealing with

the amount of burdens and responsibilities that they have. That's

financial, but like you said, the casual thing, they feel

like they have to take time off for their family during this period. Okay,

now I'm lacking on time and I'm lacking on money and

the time could be money. How am I going to put the food on the table? to

all manner of other things that they feel like they're not doing

well enough. They're setting expectations on themselves of

what they should be, what a man should be, what they should do.

That's providing, protecting, all those masculine things down

to being, you know, caring, spending enough time with their kids.

Name the amount of things that a man needs to do. But the

impact that that has on blokes That's

what I've really seen as a primary factor

We've spoken about this so many times and I've spoken about it with a

few guys that men are so self-critical

on themselves. So I will never sit here and judge you.

as hard as you're going to judge yourself. Guys

just don't do that. But you are going to be your harshest critic. And

you're never going to fulfill your own expectations of

what you feel you should be. It's rough. But

it is. And I'm the same. I will judge myself so

hard, and I will critique myself, being like, I need to do this. I need to do this. I need to

do this. you'll never get to that point.

Our expectations of ourselves are perfection. Like we've said so many times, perfection

is unattainable. We should always aim for it, but there comes

a point where you need to stop being so

self-critical on yourself and just go, I'm doing OK.

That's the balance, right? It's setting expectations for

yourself while understanding you're doing a good

enough job. It's not self-love for

the sake of you should love yourself no matter who you are.

It's being able to recognize the achievements that you have made

or the success that you have done or the value that you do provide.

You're not gonna always be perfection. You're

not going to be the 100% guy every single day. Probably

never. No. And

if everyone can start loving

themselves as much as that sounds soppy, a teeny bit

more, it just gives you space to feel better

about yourself. Then you start achieving more. It's kind of It's

like when you get on a roll with something, you know

how people talk about the law of attraction? Once you start winning,

you start putting yourself into this different mindset where

things start coming to you a little bit better. And I don't

believe in a lot of that spiritual stuff, but

I definitely think that the positive mind

A hundred percent. I completely agree that positivity breeds positivity.

And if you're, if you're a person that's out there being super positive, you're

going to create that environment around you

where more people are going to be positive. It's very hard to get to that winning

mindset. If you're in that position where

you're like, shit, everything's going wrong. I can't do this. I can't do this. I

can't do this. You can stay hungry. But you need to, like

we've said so many times, stack those little wins. Celebrate the little wins.

Maybe loving yourself off the rip is not possible

just yet. Love yourself a little bit or love something you do. It's

like that baseline theory. You

know where you're at now, just a little bit better tomorrow, a little

That was a little bit of, that's like a Rob quote. Maybe

you can't love yourself, but love something you do. Yeah. Right?

Is there something you do that you can see as a

positive force in the world like we just spoke about? And if not,

Because I think that's the issue with, I can't speak

for like people, but I know for men, like

I can speak from the perspective of a bloke. So

many of us go, okay, I need to fix this

and fix it like ASAP. That shit doesn't

happen with a lot of this sort of stuff. This sort of stuff is like, you need

to train yourself to get to that, that level. You're

not going to go, okay, tomorrow I'm going to wake up and I'm going to love myself. No, you've

set yourself up for failure. Cause you might wake up and you'd be like, ah, fuck this.

I've got to go to the job that I hate doing. I've got bills coming in.

I've got this coming up. No, don't do that. Just little,

little bits. Just yeah. Set small,

I'm going to sound a bit like wishy-washy, very spiritual on

Yeah. Um, something you just said with the

That's supernatural. That's how we are men are problem solvers. It's

very much a masculine response. What's

It doesn't hurt to first approach a situation with a

bit more of a feminine response, a little bit of compassion, a

little bit of love, understanding. And that doesn't mean sitting around,

you know, being sad for yourself or anything like that. It means... Caring,

love, nurturing, more maternal thought

processes towards yourself to understand the

situation And if you do that just before you

go in with the problem-solving fix, it's gonna put you in like

the space where you feel more

understood even by yourself to go in and

do the solution. What's the thing? Let's do it done. Let's do the masculine

thing now. I think it's important that there's

a little bit of that in touch with the feminine

See, I get a bit triggered when people say that like the caring and nurturing and

If you think of it in terms of motherly and

fatherly, you would say they have different roles

My fathers are very loving too though, they just show it in a different way Are

they or are they guiding? I'm

See, I think like guiding and loving is two

So would you say the way a mother and a father shows their

love is in a maternal and paternal way,

a masculine and a female way. So it's the same emotion of

love, but the traits that put it out into the world is

I can't speak for the way that anyone else parents or shows love or anything, but

like the way that Jess and I show love to the kids is, yeah,

it is very different. Where Jess is probably more

that maternal, like, you know, I'm going to cuddle you

when you're hurt. Where I'm very much a, I'll

cuddle you when you're hurt, but get up and brush yourself off.

I would say that is a definition of masculine versus feminine in

I'm still giving them the cuddle. I'm just then extending that further with

Let us know what you think. The

reason I thought about this was because I was thinking about how

do you deal with a mate that comes to you and asks for help? Because

as men, we do go to the problem solving thing. It's easy to

look at his problems as not much of a problem, but

to him, they're very real, they're his reality. To you, it

might seem like easy fix, just do this, get rid of the girl, work

more out, whatever it is, there's the solution. Because

the problems are real to him, he's emotionally invested into them.

I think the correct way to deal with a mate coming for help is to go

into that caring stage. And that doesn't mean

give him a hug. That can just mean give him a moment,

give him space, let him speak, let him

feel heard and understood. And then be like, you know

what? I think this is a shit we need to get done for

you to move through this. Cause if you go

straight with a mate, it's not a big deal. Just go

That's the biggest issue that a lot of blokes will face is when, when

a mate does come to them, they, not

that they sort of discount what the issue is and go, Oh, that's an easy, as soon

as you say like, Oh, that's an easy fix. Just do this. That

makes a guy go, Oh fuck. Like I've spent

the last three weeks, four weeks longer worrying about this.

It's been weighing me down. And I've just poured out

my issue in a vulnerable state, which is a yuck thing to

say. But yeah, you've shown

strength by showing someone what your issue is to

then just go, oh, easy fix. Let's just do this. Like, fuck, that's

But the guy doing it is doing it in a masculine way

of caring. He is, but... Let's fix the

problem. I'm here to help you. Let's fix it. Don't worry. It's not

a big deal. Let's fix it. But by giving that little space of understanding

that this is a problem, I hear you. I

reckon we can do this. I think it's just like

a way different, a different way of dealing

Yeah, and I think that's something that I've started noticing a lot more since

we've been doing this project, because I was probably very much down that path of,

Because it's a natural thing to do. That's the same with me. Maybe

that's why I'm thinking about it. Because I'm, you know, having these chats at events.

And I'm like, I don't do anything. I'll just sit there and listen. And

then be like, oh, look, I've seen some other boys do this. Or, you

know, a bit softer in the, this is your solution. But

for the majority of it, it's just me kind of giving space. And

yeah, it's a natural default for a guy not to do that bit. But I think

It's all in the delivery of your solution. That's 100% what it is.

Where if you take the time to actually go, hey, I

feel what you're saying. I empathize

with you. That's probably the biggest thing is there's the empathy. And

then going into what could potentially be a solution. Yeah, it's going to

come across a lot better. I'm going to wind you back a bit there though as well. Where

you said, guys won't go and just give

their mate a hug like women will or not. Fuck that, give

your boys more hugs. That's something that, I don't

know, guys need to give and receive more hugs. And

that's coming from like someone that probably most people would look

at me and go like, oh, this guy's not a hugger, I'm a big hugger. Hugs

I'm still got a bit more to drop, but I'm still cuddly. I

No, I like cuddling blokes. Love

But what I mean, I'm like, you don't have to hold them like

you would a child. You don't have to be like, everything will

Give your mate a hug and don't make it sensual. Just

give your mate a hug and be like, fuck yeah, man. quick

two pats on the back and then separate. Like a hug goes a

long way for boys to, I don't know, just

Is there anything else that we've learned during this process that

you think would be good for guys to have front of

Accept help. That's my biggest thing where

for so long, I myself as a bloke would

go, I don't need your help. I've got this, I've got this,

I've got this. That's silly. If

you've got guys that are wanting to help and do their bit, you're

really bad for this too. So am I. It's

guys that have the same sort of mission and ethos as us of reaching out

and trying to help and wanting to help and just be involved. And

for so long, I was like, oh, I'll do

it, I'll do it, I'll do it. You are very much the same. You'll

do it, you'll do it, you'll do it. I'm now finding that these

guys that are wanting to help have the same reason behind it

as we do. And I'm like, yes, wait, let's all work together. Many

hands make light work. That's probably one of the biggest things

I've taken out of this little bit so far that

I'm trying to work towards is letting

I'm trying to get better. The acceptance of

Which is the line that I have to sort of break down. I'm like,

I can put responsibility on other people. I

think I got to trust that they can do it right, which we've got to now.

No. Especially there's

nothing wrong for asking for help. But especially when people are coming out offering

help, that's when It

should be easier to accept that, but it's still, it's

not, for some reason, because guys are idiots. We

are, we're dumb. And we want to beat our chest and be macho and

show that we are the protectors and the providers. It's

ancestral, it's in our DNA. But yeah, we

just need to take a step back and go, this guy wants

to help, or this lady wants to help, or this person wants to help, whoever

wants to help. I'm going to let them, because you never know, that

My thing for guys to think about this year would be around purpose. We

speak about purpose a lot. I think it's a driving factor in living a

happy, healthy, fulfilling life. If

you don't have a goal, what do you have? Not a lot. To frame

how to find your purpose, I think it

has a lot to do with picking something that has a

certain uncertainty because if

you know something's going to happen, it's not actually exciting. but

it matches a level of skill you have. So,

it's not completely up to chance. You know that

you have the skills to probably get it done. So,

it's where uncertainty meets skill going

Disagree with you there. Oh, why? Like not with the purpose. I

100% agree with you on the purpose. But if someone's purpose is

here and they may not have the skill for

that, Part of their purpose will be skilling themselves up to be able

Well, that's their purpose. They're learning. Learning is their purpose then.

Well, then their purpose is learning. Their purpose isn't the thing they're getting the skill to

Let's put an imaginary purpose-driven

goal. Pick one. What could someone do

What could be their purpose? What's a goal that they could set in

Okay, let's go one that's close to

my heart. Let's say a boxing match that's coming

Well, this completely backs up my point. You have some

skills. that may or

may not be good enough to let you win. So

there's an uncertainty in the fact that you're going to win this fight. You

have some skills and the ability to build on them, which

makes the whole process of working towards a goal exciting. If

you knew 100% you were gonna knock him out flat, it

would be less exciting, it would be less fulfilling, and you

wouldn't have the purpose to go to the gym. You wouldn't have the purpose to do

all the things you're doing that are benefiting you. Because what's

You're gonna win anyway It needs that uncertainty and you

need the skill to know that you could with the work

turn it into reality But I think that's the thing with boxing though

is unless you're putting in the work and you're getting yourself up

that mountain It's never gonna

be Definitive that that's what's gonna happen. It

could be you could be fighting me But even then you've said

it could be that's not a definitive thing. It depends who you're fighting

Again, it depends. That's not a definitive thing. Like

you're saying, like if you knew you were going to go out and win that fight, you wouldn't

You would if you were fighting me. You could clip me. Good. But

it'd be a lot different, right? Like you

I do. I just don't agree with that bit that

But the uncertainty does

I don't think you've, you haven't had this

much fire and purpose for like just one

little thing. Like this has lit you up. This has been a

lot of purpose given to you. Yeah. And I think it's because there's

a level of uncertainty and you know that it

could become a reality if you put in the work.

Okay. Yeah. It's not nice, is it? Hit

us with the bloke of the week. What do we got? Okay. So, the bloke of the week is

a man that This bloke

of the week sort of carried through to the new year. This

is a bloke that had his fair share of hardships last year,

and he was doing little things in the group

called stump dates. So our bloke of the week

goes to Shane. So Shane lost his leg

and every week, he what? Where'd he lose it? Well,

that's half the point. He lost it. If

he knew where it was, it wouldn't be lost, would it? I guess so. No. So

I just want to give a special shout out to Shane for utilizing

the group and his journey and

his pain of what he went through. to be able to sort of show others that,

hey, this is what's happening. I'm

staying positive. And he was very, very vocal with the fact

that, yeah, there was hard days. But he

sort of just bounced through it and stayed

positive. And I think it's pretty fair

to say that he's bloke of the week for just being able to show the

And he, yeah, so he kept guys updated through the whole process. Sort

of, this is where I'm at this week and update here, update

here. It's kind of good for guys to see too because, you

know, arguably he's got it worse than some of

what's going on in other guys. It puts perspective into their lives. So

yeah, Bloke of the Week, we got a merch pack coming your way. So Bloke

of the Week now, we're going to do Bloke's Advice packs, so we'll send

some shirts your way. And if anyone else wants to get

Yeah, I reckon we can round it out there. For any events that

are going on, you can go to betterblokeproject.org. You'll see

all the barbecue ones. The hunting one is

sold out. So that's done and dusted. You'll have to catch

You will. And there will be plenty of more coming up throughout the year. So

like Matty said, jump over to betterblokeproject.org. Hit the

events tab. You'll see everything that's got coming up. We are

going to be a lot more organized

with having events further out this year. So yeah, jump

in. We'll come to a park near you or hopefully

work with someone. If anyone's got any events coming up that they want to work with us with,

Be better. Thanks for

tuning into today's episode of Better Bloke. If you got anything out of it, show

If you want to learn more about everything we're doing, head to the description, hit

the links and follow us on the socials. If you want to learn more about the project,