Kate Harlow:

Write out your limitations and get really clear

Kate Harlow:

on which ones you're not bringing into 2026 and then, of

Kate Harlow:

course, when you get to 2026 you have to be really intentional,

Kate Harlow:

right? You have to be really intentional. So what are you

Kate Harlow:

ready to let go of? What's the story you've been believing

Kate Harlow:

that's been keeping you small and suffering this year, that

Kate Harlow:

you're like, No, this is not coming with me, write it out and

Kate Harlow:

then do a ceremony and burn it. And with intention, I'm going to

Kate Harlow:

bring intention every single day to not carrying this story. And

Kate Harlow:

every time I notice that I'm in that story again, like, what am

Kate Harlow:

I doing? I shouldn't be writing a book. I'm not a writer. Every

Kate Harlow:

time I notice that story, I say, thank you so much for trying to

Kate Harlow:

protect me. I've got this and I do the thing anyways.

Kate Harlow:

Hello, my loves. Welcome back to the new truth. Happy holidays.

Kate Harlow:

Merry Christmas. It is December 23 almost the end of the year,

Kate Harlow:

and I'm so excited for you to hear next week's episode I

Kate Harlow:

recorded the most beautiful conversation with my one of my

Kate Harlow:

oldest and dearest friends from 19 years old, and he is a

Kate Harlow:

legend, and he has created the most magical, incredible life.

Kate Harlow:

And so next week's New Year's episode is reserved for that.

Kate Harlow:

And so I thought today we would focus on you have one week left

Kate Harlow:

of 2025

Kate Harlow:

if you're listening to this during the week, it comes out,

Kate Harlow:

and if not, you know it's still applicable no matter when you

Kate Harlow:

listen to it. But right now, there's one week left in 2025

Kate Harlow:

hopefully you have been intentional all month, doing

Kate Harlow:

things differently, bringing your heroine to the dinner

Kate Harlow:

table, bringing your heroine to the events, bringing your

Kate Harlow:

heroine to the parties and doing it differently than you would

Kate Harlow:

normally do. And today we're going to focus on how to wrap up

Kate Harlow:

the year with love, with intention and create. I just

Kate Harlow:

feel like in our lives, we're so often just doing our lives and

Kate Harlow:

going and going and going and going and going and doing the

Kate Harlow:

next thing and on to the next thing. And even when we're

Kate Harlow:

achieving really great things, or we're becoming new versions

Kate Harlow:

of ourselves, or we're growing in amazing ways, we often forget

Kate Harlow:

to stop and even notice. You know, have you ever noticed

Kate Harlow:

that, like you, sometimes you'll look back and be like, Whoa, I

Kate Harlow:

don't do that pattern anymore. Or, holy, I was able to actually

Kate Harlow:

attract that love and receive that love that I was never able

Kate Harlow:

to receive before. Sometimes you have we have moments where we

Kate Harlow:

see it, but if you don't bring a lot of intention and presence to

Kate Harlow:

your life, it's so easy for it to just pass by and for every

Kate Harlow:

day to be just be checking off the next things on the list,

Kate Harlow:

trying to get through the day, trying to get through the month,

Kate Harlow:

trying to get through the year. And I in my experience my life,

Kate Harlow:

the more I slow down, and the more I bring intention into

Kate Harlow:

everything I do, the more my life tastes good, the more my

Kate Harlow:

life feels good, the more my life is, you know, more

Kate Harlow:

meaningful and and rich and beautiful. So that's what

Kate Harlow:

today's episode is all about. For you to take some time, I

Kate Harlow:

suggest, over the next week, you find an evening to have to

Kate Harlow:

yourself. Maybe it's a morning. If evening doesn't isn't

Kate Harlow:

possible for you that you move mountains, even if you're a mom,

Kate Harlow:

even if you have a lot of things on the plan that you move

Kate Harlow:

mountains, to have some form of time scheduled, just for you,

Kate Harlow:

just for you to be with you, for you to do some reflections, for

Kate Harlow:

you to do some visioning, for you to do some connecting deeper

Kate Harlow:

with yourself, so that you can go out and say goodbye to 2025

Kate Harlow:

with so much love and reverence, no matter what you've been

Kate Harlow:

through this year. You know, it seems like often in in people's

Kate Harlow:

New Year's posts, I always see towards the end of the year,

Kate Harlow:

everyone's posting memes about how, like, you know, well, that

Kate Harlow:

was a wash. You know, on to the next year. Next year is going to

Kate Harlow:

be amazing, but this year sucked, or this year was the

Kate Harlow:

worst, or hope this year isn't next year. And even if you've

Kate Harlow:

been through the hardest year of your life, not every moment was

Kate Harlow:

hard. And with all hard times comes so much growth and so much

Kate Harlow:

catalytic energy for change, for new beginnings. I know that

Kate Harlow:

there's so many women who even have come to this podcast this

Kate Harlow:

year because Something brought you to your knees, losing

Kate Harlow:

someone you love, or having a partner leave you for another

Kate Harlow:

woman, or having a job unexpectedly end, or something,

Kate Harlow:

some big catalyst maybe led you here. Maybe it wasn't this year,

Kate Harlow:

maybe it was a few years ago, and or maybe it didn't lead you

Kate Harlow:

to the new truth, but it led you to waking up, into doing your

Kate Harlow:

life differently, into living more from your own heart and

Kate Harlow:

soul. That's the gift in the hard times, right? The gift in

Kate Harlow:

the hard times is we become more devoted to ourselves. The gift

Kate Harlow:

in experiencing loss is we love deeper and we feel more and we

Kate Harlow:

get connected to how much we care about the people we love

Kate Harlow:

and how important it is to actually learn to be present

Kate Harlow:

with them. Yeah, when they are here in human form, when they

Kate Harlow:

are here in our lives, right? So this is an opportunity for you

Kate Harlow:

to go out with a bang, not literally, don't leave the

Kate Harlow:

planet, but for you to close this year with so much love and

Kate Harlow:

reverence. Kind of reminds me of relationships. Like the old

Kate Harlow:

paradigm of breakup is just like, Okay, that was a wash. Cut

Kate Harlow:

that person out. They're my ex, that they're wrong and bad, that

Kate Harlow:

there's some better person way out there in the front, but

Kate Harlow:

what's behind me is now gone, and I'm going to lock it away in

Kate Harlow:

a closet forever. Versus that experience guided you somewhere,

Kate Harlow:

even if it was an incredibly painful, toxic relationship,

Kate Harlow:

maybe you found your voice. Maybe you dropped it, access

Kate Harlow:

power in a new way. Maybe you learned how to finally say no

Kate Harlow:

and put yourself first. Maybe you woke up and ended on us,

Kate Harlow:

ended up on a spiritual, healing, self love Journey,

Kate Harlow:

right? There's some gift that comes even from the toxic

Kate Harlow:

relationships. Every relationship serves a purpose.

Kate Harlow:

Every year serves a purpose. I read something yesterday that

Kate Harlow:

2025 was the in the Chinese zodiac was the year of the

Kate Harlow:

snake, which is all about endings, letting go, shedding

Kate Harlow:

old skin, shedding old versions of yourself. So if you did that

Kate Harlow:

this year, good job. Celebrate that. And we're moving into the

Kate Harlow:

dynamic fire horse, which begins apparently February 17, so that

Kate Harlow:

the Chinese zodiac is in conjunction with the Chinese New

Kate Harlow:

Year, which was shortly after our new year. So the year of the

Kate Harlow:

horse is all about energetic, bold, transformative period,

Kate Harlow:

action, independence and pursuing new opportunities. So

Kate Harlow:

talk about a different frequency. So have you

Kate Harlow:

experienced a lot of loss this year or endings? Like I ended a

Kate Harlow:

three year relationship, I ended living in Greece. I ended my

Kate Harlow:

contract with my apartment, I ended my podcast partnership

Kate Harlow:

with Catherine, whoa. I just didn't realize that so many

Kate Harlow:

things ended this year, not all my choice. Some were my my

Kate Harlow:

choice, and some were other people's choice, or the choice

Kate Harlow:

of the universe. And so it was all it was a year of endings.

Kate Harlow:

This year was a year of endings. It was also a nine year in

Kate Harlow:

numerology. So we're moving into new beginnings next year. So

Kate Harlow:

this is a great time to look at everything that's ended for you

Kate Harlow:

this year, everything you're ready to end and bring some

Kate Harlow:

intention in how you wrap up this year. So the first thing

Kate Harlow:

that I will say is, or beyond. I always say that. First thing

Kate Harlow:

I'll say, No, I've already said many things, but the first step

Kate Harlow:

I want you to take is to celebrate everything that you've

Kate Harlow:

created this year, everything you've shifted this year in

Kate Harlow:

yourself, every new part of yourself you've awakened, every

Kate Harlow:

new step you've taken, every courageous decision you've made.

Kate Harlow:

Celebrate your new ways of being, celebrate new

Kate Harlow:

perspectives, celebrate the crap out of yourself. This is

Kate Harlow:

something I learned from Mama Gina. She calls it bragging.

Kate Harlow:

Women are taught to be humble and to not brag, to not

Kate Harlow:

celebrate. Men celebrate themselves quite easily and

Kate Harlow:

beautifully, not obviously, all of them, but for the majority of

Kate Harlow:

men, it's easier for them to celebrate what they've done.

Kate Harlow:

Women typically shy away from it. We typically hide from it.

Kate Harlow:

We typically like, Oh no, it's no big deal that I won that

Kate Harlow:

award, or it's no big deal that I performed on stage in that

Kate Harlow:

dance show and fucking crushed it. It's no big deal that I

Kate Harlow:

finished my master's degree, or that I started a new business,

Kate Harlow:

or that I took a big leap and invested in myself in a really

Kate Harlow:

big way. Oh, it's no big no no. Like, don't, don't praise me.

Kate Harlow:

It's no big deal. And we dim, we dim it down, right? Because

Kate Harlow:

we've been taught not to celebrate. We've been taught not

Kate Harlow:

to put the attention and focus on ourselves. So here, go big,

Kate Harlow:

go big. Go big, go big. And I would start with writing. So set

Kate Harlow:

a symptom time that you can have a me night or a me morning.

Kate Harlow:

Light some candles, put on some music, make a cacao, make a

Kate Harlow:

matcha, make something that's yummy and delicious to you, and

Kate Harlow:

be intentional with celebrating, bragging. What are you proud of?

Kate Harlow:

What did you do this year that you never imagined in a million

Kate Harlow:

years that you would do or that your saboteur always told you

Kate Harlow:

you could never do? What did you stop doing? What parts of you

Kate Harlow:

did you stop participating in? What patterns that usually show

Kate Harlow:

up? Have you shifted? You know, how much more have you loved

Kate Harlow:

yourself and shown up for yourself, even if it's just

Kate Harlow:

listening to the new truth every week? What have you done for you

Kate Harlow:

celebrate the crap of you out of yourself? Women need to

Kate Harlow:

celebrate ourselves more. There is such a gift in celebration,

Kate Harlow:

because what it does and also when you celebrate yourself,

Kate Harlow:

we're way more comfortable also celebrating each other without

Kate Harlow:

feeling jealous or competitive or comparing ourselves, we can

Kate Harlow:

that. That's what one of my favorite things about the the

Kate Harlow:

reclamation community and the immersion community, all the

Kate Harlow:

heroin sisters I work with, is the beauty of how much they

Kate Harlow:

celebrate each other. There is so much. Celebration. Women are

Kate Harlow:

launching podcasts. They're starting businesses. They're

Kate Harlow:

sharing their their breakthrough breakdown, breakthrough stories.

Kate Harlow:

They're they're

Kate Harlow:

traveling together. And there, there's, there's this beautiful

Kate Harlow:

ripple effect of how these new paradigm relationships feel when

Kate Harlow:

you're finally around women who are rooted in themselves, who

Kate Harlow:

are sacredly, you know, self centered, centered within

Kate Harlow:

themselves, who are choosing to follow their truth in their

Kate Harlow:

hearts and just feel good to be around. And then you get to

Kate Harlow:

celebrate together. You know, when, when I do something that's

Kate Harlow:

a big deal. I celebrate with my friends, and I share I'm so

Kate Harlow:

proud of myself that I did this thing, or that I saw this

Kate Harlow:

differently, or I showed up for myself in this way, and I did

Kate Harlow:

this courageous thing, because otherwise it's like you're just

Kate Harlow:

climbing a mountain and you have no idea how far you've climbed,

Kate Harlow:

and most likely, your saboteur is going to tell you like you're

Kate Harlow:

still not high enough. You're not doing it right. You're not

Kate Harlow:

doing it good enough. Your saboteur is always like your

Kate Harlow:

saboteur voice in your mind was trained to take you down, to

Kate Harlow:

keep you small, right? It was trained to keep you small

Kate Harlow:

because at one point in your life that served you. And so

Kate Harlow:

your saboteur is going to take away the compliments. Your

Kate Harlow:

saboteur is going to berate you, punish you, tell you where

Kate Harlow:

you're still not meeting the mark. And that's why it's so

Kate Harlow:

important for that little girl inside who needed so much more

Kate Harlow:

love and so much more acceptance and so much more celebration,

Kate Harlow:

and she didn't get it to the degree that she needed it. You

Kate Harlow:

now become that for her, right? You become that for that part of

Kate Harlow:

you that deeply needs it, for you to feel seen, supported,

Kate Harlow:

celebrated. So as you wrap up 2025 go back to January, think

Kate Harlow:

about your look maybe, look at your calendar, and it can spark

Kate Harlow:

like, what were you doing in January? Where were you? Where

Kate Harlow:

were you in your job? Where were you in your relationship? Where

Kate Harlow:

were you in your single, sovereign journey? Where were

Kate Harlow:

you in your life? And what have you created done, stepped into

Kate Harlow:

reclaimed, let go of this year, because then you celebrating

Kate Harlow:

that. And if you're in the reclamation community, I highly

Kate Harlow:

encourage you join. We're doing a live round in January, which

Kate Harlow:

is pretty rare these days. It's an online self study program

Kate Harlow:

where you get to unlock and reclaim all your heroin aspects

Kate Harlow:

that have been shut down by your saboteur. And this community is

Kate Harlow:

infectious. It's so beautiful. Everyone celebrates, everyone.

Kate Harlow:

Everyone, like supports each other. There's so much

Kate Harlow:

community. Everyone's dreaming together, collaborative,

Kate Harlow:

dreaming, visioning together, building a new world, building a

Kate Harlow:

new future that's available to you. So if you're in our group,

Kate Harlow:

or you're in any other group like that, go in and share your

Kate Harlow:

celebrations, or share your celebrations with your best

Kate Harlow:

friends and encourage them to do the same, so that not only are

Kate Harlow:

you celebrating yourself, which is step one, that's the most

Kate Harlow:

important thing, is that you you really build the muscle of being

Kate Harlow:

proud of yourself, you know, maybe even sitting in front of

Kate Harlow:

the mirror, meeting yourself in the eyes and saying, I'm so

Kate Harlow:

proud of you and everything you've reclaimed this year. I'm

Kate Harlow:

so proud of all the courage it took to leave that job or leave

Kate Harlow:

that relationship or say yes to that opportunity that felt

Kate Harlow:

really scary, or invest in yourself in that way, or travel

Kate Harlow:

to that place. I'm so proud of you for making that move right

Kate Harlow:

if I was sitting in front of the mirror and say, I'm so proud of

Kate Harlow:

you, Kate, for rolling with the changes and actually listening

Kate Harlow:

to your inner guidance and actually having the courage to

Kate Harlow:

let things that are beautiful and were were so amazing for so

Kate Harlow:

long fall away and and to honor the new form of those

Kate Harlow:

relationships and those those circumstances. I'm so proud of

Kate Harlow:

you for stepping up and and taking over the new truth on

Kate Harlow:

your own, even though a part of you was resistant to it. I'm so

Kate Harlow:

proud of you for moving through that resistance and not letting

Kate Harlow:

the fear take you out. I'm so proud that you're still here.

Kate Harlow:

You get it right. So sit in front of the mirror, pour that

Kate Harlow:

into yourself, write it in your journal. Spend some time, but

Kate Harlow:

make sure you're intentional. You're not just like scribbling

Kate Harlow:

two seconds for two seconds, like really, set the tone, light

Kate Harlow:

the candles, Put on the music, put on the diffuser, make some

Kate Harlow:

make a yummy, warm drink, and and, and support yourself to set

Kate Harlow:

the stage so that you can really, really feel the love. So

Kate Harlow:

that's my first invitation to you. Second invitation to you

Kate Harlow:

is, what old story or stories are you ready to burn for this

Kate Harlow:

year, what story have you been believing and telling yourself

Kate Harlow:

over and over again? Maybe it's a story about blame, right?

Kate Harlow:

Maybe there's someone you're still holding hostage in your

Kate Harlow:

mind, which, of course, is only hurting you, not them. Maybe

Kate Harlow:

it's someone that you've been blaming and you've been mad at

Kate Harlow:

and you've been avoiding, or you've been cut you've cut off

Kate Harlow:

from them, and you're you're bitter and resentful. Maybe to

Kate Harlow:

wrap this year up completing that cycle within you, you don't

Kate Harlow:

have to do anything with the other person. But perhaps I

Kate Harlow:

don't even love the word forgiveness. I think the the

Kate Harlow:

most up leveled word is accept, accepting what happened,

Kate Harlow:

accepting what was because, arguing with reality we lose. Is

Kate Harlow:

100% of the time. So some acceptance, perhaps you a

Kate Harlow:

practice you can do with this is write down the saboteur story,

Kate Harlow:

first of all, the ways in which that person is wrong and that

Kate Harlow:

you blame them and everything that they've done to you. And

Kate Harlow:

then underneath that, you can write how that felt and what you

Kate Harlow:

what, how you internalized it, what you made that mean about

Kate Harlow:

you, and then have your heroin right a perspective of, okay,

Kate Harlow:

what was my part like, if I'm taking ownership for this

Kate Harlow:

dynamic, what role did I play? How am I responsible for 50% of

Kate Harlow:

that dynamic? Was I self sacrificing? Was I shape

Kate Harlow:

shifting? Was I not listening to my inner guidance? Was I

Kate Harlow:

ignoring my gut? Was I saying yes when it was actually a No?

Kate Harlow:

Was I staying in the relationship too long? What did

Kate Harlow:

I do? What was my part so not to blame you. You've heard this one

Kate Harlow:

before. Not to blame you, but to actually just help you clean up

Kate Harlow:

your side of the street. That's my favorite saying. I say that a

Kate Harlow:

lot, but it's true, like there's so much power to it. Help you

Kate Harlow:

reflect on, okay, how did I contribute to that situation? So

Kate Harlow:

I don't carry this blame into 2026 you own your part and Okay,

Kate Harlow:

have have some self compassion for the little girl and your

Kate Harlow:

saboteur who did, who participated? Okay, I and

Kate Harlow:

forgive yourself. I think this is where the most powerful

Kate Harlow:

forgiveness comes from. I forgive you my love for

Kate Harlow:

contorting yourself and saying yes in that situation when it

Kate Harlow:

was such a no. I forgive you for holding that the other person

Kate Harlow:

hostage and blaming them for a choice that I made every single

Kate Harlow:

day by choosing to stay at that job or choosing to stay in that

Kate Harlow:

relationship. So I forgive you for staying as long as you did.

Kate Harlow:

I trust that you stayed as long as you had to, and you did what

Kate Harlow:

you needed to do. But ultimately, I forgive you for,

Kate Harlow:

you know, saying yes when it was no, for lying, for not speaking

Kate Harlow:

up. I forgive you, I love you, I've got you and and then you

Kate Harlow:

can accept the situation. You know, sometimes it's not that

Kate Harlow:

easy, but if it's something that just happened very recently, you

Kate Harlow:

might have to move the energy of the feeling. You might have to

Kate Harlow:

do some rage exercises. If it's something that's really

Kate Harlow:

significant, but even just to, like, really own your part and

Kate Harlow:

then love and forgive yourself for the part that you played.

Kate Harlow:

Now that's you taking full responsibility, and now the

Kate Harlow:

heroine can look through the lens of what was the lesson and

Kate Harlow:

the gift of this experience that I want to like just hold as a

Kate Harlow:

memory, as if that person's wrong or that situation was

Kate Harlow:

horrible. You know, when I first left my nine year mentorship

Kate Harlow:

that literally taught me everything I need to know about

Kate Harlow:

what I do now and my work in the world, and like world class

Kate Harlow:

mentorship, I when I first ended that career, that that

Kate Harlow:

trajectory, that that agreement with the company and with my

Kate Harlow:

friends that I was working with, I had resentments, and my

Kate Harlow:

saboteur was holding on to stories, and it wasn't until I

Kate Harlow:

started to really see after I processed all the feelings I had

Kate Harlow:

to process the feelings underneath, right, the feelings

Kate Harlow:

of being taken advantage of and feeling like I, you know, I was

Kate Harlow:

so mad at myself for sacrificing for so long and not speaking up

Kate Harlow:

and not working too many hours and burning myself out. And I

Kate Harlow:

had all

Kate Harlow:

this energy and blame towards the company and blame towards

Kate Harlow:

myself, and I had to actually move through the layers of that

Kate Harlow:

and let myself feel the feeling and feel the weight of all the

Kate Harlow:

times I said yes, when it was a no, of all the times I pushed my

Kate Harlow:

body when I had nothing left, and I had to forgive myself and

Kate Harlow:

also thank myself right. So forgive yourself first, thank

Kate Harlow:

yourself second, because I forgave myself for every time I

Kate Harlow:

went against my own truth and for every time my pattern showed

Kate Harlow:

up in that dynamic. And then I also thanked myself, because

Kate Harlow:

that is the place where my heroine was born, right? It's

Kate Harlow:

like, you don't just wake up, you don't just like, stay I

Kate Harlow:

mean, we all go through the human experience where you shut

Kate Harlow:

down, and then you have to come back and wake wake yourself up

Kate Harlow:

and and wake up all the and reclaim all the parts of you.

Kate Harlow:

That's like the hero's journey. That's a heroine's journey,

Kate Harlow:

that's life. That's a human experience. Like, I think we

Kate Harlow:

have such a fantasy of life. You're not just empowered one

Kate Harlow:

day. You have to go through you have to have the antagonists in

Kate Harlow:

your story and the challengers and the people who inspire you,

Kate Harlow:

but also, you know, trigger you, and that like that is part of

Kate Harlow:

the hero's journey. So I had to go through that journey, and

Kate Harlow:

including the moments where I was quote unquote overworked,

Kate Harlow:

but I said yes, and I'm that was a choice, right? And I could

Kate Harlow:

blame the company for the amount of hours that they asked us to

Kate Harlow:

work and be a victim of that, or I could take responsibility and

Kate Harlow:

say, okay, yeah, moving forward, that's not going to work for me,

Kate Harlow:

because I'm a projector and my energy's so. Delicate, and now

Kate Harlow:

that I have my own business, I'm going to take care of my energy

Kate Harlow:

with pristine intention, and I do, but everything I learned

Kate Harlow:

going through that process like, that's how I stepped into my

Kate Harlow:

power. That's how I stepped into my greatness. Was, was going

Kate Harlow:

through that hero's journey of like, being seen and then

Kate Harlow:

feeling challenged and then feeling like, you know, blaming

Kate Harlow:

people, and then owning my side, and it's like, it's just like

Kate Harlow:

part of the journey that's part of the awakening. So I'm now, I

Kate Harlow:

sit in this place and looking back 10 years later, and I'm

Kate Harlow:

like, endlessly grateful for that experience, and I only see

Kate Harlow:

it through the lens of learning and lessons and growth and

Kate Harlow:

coming into my power, and literally, my training ground

Kate Harlow:

for me being able to birth my own work in the world. I had to

Kate Harlow:

go through all of that. You know, it's like the parent that

Kate Harlow:

wants to coddle their kids so much that their kids never

Kate Harlow:

experienced pain or anything bad happening. Well, that is not

Kate Harlow:

setting them up for success in the world, because in the world,

Kate Harlow:

bad things happen. Challenges happen. People's triggers and

Kate Harlow:

traumas and saboteurs, play against other people's, play

Kate Harlow:

against yours and activate you. And that's totally normal and

Kate Harlow:

totally part of the human experience. And that's how we

Kate Harlow:

come into our power, is those antagonists that come into our

Kate Harlow:

stories. So the I wasn't even planning on going here when I

Kate Harlow:

wrote down old story you're ready to burn, but I think this

Kate Harlow:

is a good one. If you are going into 2026 with any blame, you

Kate Harlow:

are carrying unnecessary baggage that doesn't need to be there.

Kate Harlow:

There is so much more possible and available for you when you

Kate Harlow:

are not blaming people for how you feel and for what's

Kate Harlow:

happening in your life, your only power exists in you taking

Kate Harlow:

full responsibility and ownership for everything you

Kate Harlow:

feel, not blaming yourself, but seeing your side, and then the

Kate Harlow:

willingness to forgive yourself for being in your patterns

Kate Harlow:

around those that person. Because what really hurt was not

Kate Harlow:

their behavior. What really hurt was who you became in their

Kate Harlow:

behavior and how you internalize their behavior and all the

Kate Harlow:

meaning making in stories you told yourself when they behaved

Kate Harlow:

in that way. That's what hurts. It's who you become. And so

Kate Harlow:

forgive yourself for becoming that shape shifting, self

Kate Harlow:

sacrifice, or that perfectionist controller, or that rigid you

Kate Harlow:

know, whatever it might be, whatever version of your

Kate Harlow:

saboteur being the fantasy addict who got married and then

Kate Harlow:

divorced in the same year, whatever. It doesn't matter.

Kate Harlow:

Forgive yourself, right? Let your saboteur event, let all the

Kate Harlow:

judgments and stories out, blaming them, blaming you. And

Kate Harlow:

then get to the little girl underneath, let her feel what

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she is feeling and how she's internalizing it. Then let

Kate Harlow:

yourself see your patterns and your side. And then let your

Kate Harlow:

heroine see it through a new lens. What are the gifts? What

Kate Harlow:

have I learned from this experience. How have I grown

Kate Harlow:

from this experience? Because there are gifts, no matter what,

Kate Harlow:

no matter how painful it was, there are gifts. There are

Kate Harlow:

lessons. There is something your soul was meant to learn, and

Kate Harlow:

that's why you attracted that experience. And you're going to

Kate Harlow:

keep attracting until you learn the lesson. You keep attracting

Kate Harlow:

more experiences of the same. So get the lesson. This is an

Kate Harlow:

opportunity to get the lesson. So the other way I was looking

Kate Harlow:

at old story when I first wrote it down, was like, what stories

Kate Harlow:

have you been believing about yourself? Like, let's say you

Kate Harlow:

have a deep dream of birthing a business. There's like,

Kate Harlow:

something inside of you, like, I want to, I want to own a Pilates

Kate Harlow:

studio one day. Or I want to start a dance movement that has

Kate Harlow:

never been done before, that like, helps women shake off

Kate Harlow:

their trauma and awaken their Shakti like never before. Or I

Kate Harlow:

want to write a book based on this wild experience I had in my

Kate Harlow:

mid 30s. Or I want to whatever the dream might be, right? The

Kate Harlow:

vision, the like, if you have a story that's telling you you

Kate Harlow:

can't, you shouldn't. That's ridiculous. Don't even bother

Kate Harlow:

you. Are a fraud. Nobody's gonna want that. Nobody's gonna sign

Kate Harlow:

up for that. Like every, every person who ever started a

Kate Harlow:

business or had a dream and took took steps towards making that

Kate Harlow:

dream in reality. Every person on planet Earth has that has the

Kate Harlow:

saboteur thoughts that are like, don't go that way. Don't go in

Kate Harlow:

the direction of your heart and soul. Stay here where it's safe

Kate Harlow:

and miserable. Stay here where it's safe and lonely. Stay here

Kate Harlow:

where it's safe and not safe at all, because you feel fearful

Kate Harlow:

every day. Everyone has that. So what are the stories? So if you

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have a big dream, you're ready to birth in 2026. Sounds like

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it's a good year for it the fire horse. I mean, come on, if you

Kate Harlow:

have a big dream, and if it was a nine year in numerology, that

Kate Harlow:

means next is a one year, which is all about beginnings and

Kate Harlow:

leadership and stepping into your power. So maybe your old

Kate Harlow:

story is you'll never have love again. Like, what is the tape

Kate Harlow:

that you keep playing? Or there's something wrong with you

Kate Harlow:

because you're single, or you have to stay where you live.

Kate Harlow:

There's no other options to go somewhere new because X, Y and

Kate Harlow:

Z, whatever the limiting It's basically your limitations.

Kate Harlow:

Write out your limitations and get really clear on which ones

Kate Harlow:

you're not bringing. Into 2026 and then, of course, when you

Kate Harlow:

get to 2026 you have to be really intentional, right? You

Kate Harlow:

have to be really intentional. So what are you ready to let go

Kate Harlow:

of? What's the story you've been believing that's been keeping

Kate Harlow:

you small and suffering this year, that you're like, No, this

Kate Harlow:

is not coming with me. Write it out and then do a ceremony and

Kate Harlow:

burn it. And with intention, I'm going to bring intention every

Kate Harlow:

single day to not carrying this story, and every time I notice

Kate Harlow:

that I'm in that story again, like, what am I doing? I

Kate Harlow:

shouldn't be writing a book. I'm not a writer. Every time I

Kate Harlow:

notice that story, I say, thank you so much for trying to

Kate Harlow:

protect me. I've got this and I do the thing anyways. Or if I if

Kate Harlow:

this story is louder than just being able to talk to it and

Kate Harlow:

turn it around. That's my saboteur, of course. Then I'm

Kate Harlow:

going to put on some music, and I'm going to do some nonlinear

Kate Harlow:

movement, and I'm going to kick and thrash and scream and and

Kate Harlow:

and shake and make sounds and do whatever I need to do, to just

Kate Harlow:

move the feeling and the energy. And then I'm going to sit in a

Kate Harlow:

meditation, connect with my heart, and then I'm going to

Kate Harlow:

write writing and do the thing anyways. So that's the second

Kate Harlow:

step. And the third step is, what energy are you going to

Kate Harlow:

bring into 2026, and I said it that way, very intentionally.

Kate Harlow:

What is the energy you're going to bring? Like, you know, going

Kate Harlow:

to a party. And it's like most people go to a party thinking

Kate Harlow:

they're going to get something. You go on a date and you think

Kate Harlow:

you're going to get something. You go, you go, you know, to

Kate Harlow:

Christmas. You go to Christmas, sit under the Christmas tree

Kate Harlow:

with your family. You think you're going to get things. Kids

Kate Harlow:

think they're going to get things, all but getting and yet,

Kate Harlow:

really, the heroin perspective is, how am I showing up and what

Kate Harlow:

am I bringing right? That's you being in the driver's seat of

Kate Harlow:

your life. So if I'm the driver now, and if I'm no longer the

Kate Harlow:

passenger of my life, I'm no longer a victim. I'm no longer a

Kate Harlow:

victim of circumstance, a victim of limitation, a victim of fear,

Kate Harlow:

a victim of smallness, of who I've who I thought I was, but

Kate Harlow:

I'm actually becoming the heroine of my own story, the

Kate Harlow:

main character, the leading lady of my story. I'm the writer. I'm

Kate Harlow:

the director, co writer, co director, because the universe

Kate Harlow:

is also leading you. What is the energy I'm going to bring into

Kate Harlow:

2026, so I'm going to say for myself, I'm going to bring saga

Kate Harlow:

saga. It's my favorite. You heard me say it last week,

Kate Harlow:

probably many weeks, my clients talk about getting it tattooed

Kate Harlow:

on their arms so they remember when they live in North America

Kate Harlow:

or somewhere, that's fast paced. Saga, saga, slowly, slowly.

Kate Harlow:

I'm going to bring into 2026 really slowing down even more.

Kate Harlow:

And I've slowed down more than ever in my life before, but now

Kate Harlow:

that I'm living in Kenya, and I even noticed when I was walking

Kate Harlow:

here to record this podcast, I just had lunch, and I was

Kate Harlow:

walking to Villa gorilla, which is the name of the villa that I

Kate Harlow:

record in when nobody's staying here, because it's got the most

Kate Harlow:

solid Wi Fi. So I'm in Villa gorilla right now. Those of you

Kate Harlow:

who've been to Ola pangi know, if you know, you know it's so

Kate Harlow:

cute with lots of funky wallpaper. It's such a beautiful

Kate Harlow:

little it's like a little two bedroom apartment cottage. And

Kate Harlow:

as I was walking here I was in my mind about the podcast, and

Kate Harlow:

then I was like, for a second, I noticed it, and I felt this

Kate Harlow:

like, like I couldn't even see out of my eyes, because I was in

Kate Harlow:

thought, how often does this happen? So I stopped, and I felt

Kate Harlow:

my feet, took a breath, stood a little bit taller, opened my

Kate Harlow:

heart, and I looked around me, and Ola panky farm, look it up

Kate Harlow:

online, is like, the most exquisite gardens in nature

Kate Harlow:

you've ever seen. It's like and magical, colorful birds and

Kate Harlow:

like, it is so beautiful here. And isn't it wild that we can be

Kate Harlow:

so in our minds, that we can actually miss the beauty? Like,

Kate Harlow:

how often are you missing the beauty? How often are you

Kate Harlow:

missing the magic? How often are you missing the moment? I mean,

Kate Harlow:

God, this is the best time of year for that, right? What are

Kate Harlow:

you not seeing with your eyes because you're in your mind in

Kate Harlow:

the story of the future or the past. So I was thinking about

Kate Harlow:

the podcast. I paused. I felt my feet. I stood taller. I took a

Kate Harlow:

breath. I looked around and was like, holy shit. It's so

Kate Harlow:

beautiful here, and I felt the frequency of the beauty of

Kate Harlow:

nature and how she's always calling us to her right, the

Kate Harlow:

sunsets, the full moon, the stars, the birds, the bees, the

Kate Harlow:

butterflies, the hummingbirds, the the magical beauty of

Kate Harlow:

nature. Yesterday, it was warthogs on the on the on the

Kate Harlow:

hill, on the ridge, she's always calling us, reminding us, Hey,

Kate Harlow:

be here now. There's so much beauty all around you and inside

Kate Harlow:

of you and in each other. In every interaction you have,

Kate Harlow:

there's a possibility for it to be a beautiful one, even with

Kate Harlow:

people who are closed. Right? I've shared all these stories

Kate Harlow:

before. If you're new to the new truth, go back. But like one of

Kate Harlow:

my favorite things to do is soften and open people who are

Kate Harlow:

closed because they have their guards up, and if my guards are

Kate Harlow:

down and my heart is open, they will open. You know, if I stay

Kate Harlow:

in curiosity and love, they will open, and they always do. And

Kate Harlow:

it's such a beautiful thing. So there's just beauty everywhere.

Kate Harlow:

There's beauty all around us. So that's my intention for 2026 is

Kate Harlow:

to really like, receive the beauty of life by slowing down,

Kate Harlow:

by being even more present, by creating even more space, by

Kate Harlow:

seeing and smelling and feeling and tasting and touching. So I

Kate Harlow:

guess, like, the next level of my sensual experience of this

Kate Harlow:

human existence is my intention for 2026 So spend some energy.

Kate Harlow:

And you know, it's so beautiful. You're hearing this, if you're

Kate Harlow:

hearing this week before Christmas, spend some energy and

Kate Harlow:

intention with like, Who do I want to bring? What is my main

Kate Harlow:

focal point? Now, if you want to join us in the reclamation, this

Kate Harlow:

program is 497, you have lifetime access to it. It is

Kate Harlow:

amazing. There is a archetype. There's a two modules per heroin

Kate Harlow:

archetype where you're going to learn how to unlock all of these

Kate Harlow:

aspects of you that have been shut down because your saboteur

Kate Harlow:

has been in charge so long, like your sensuality, your ability to

Kate Harlow:

express yourself, your ability to trust and feel and connect

Kate Harlow:

with your divinity and your inner guidance, your ability to

Kate Harlow:

live from your heart and to feel more of life and experience more

Kate Harlow:

of life, your ability to be unapologetic and stop caring

Kate Harlow:

what everyone else thinks. This is what the reclamation is. It's

Kate Harlow:

about becoming the heroine of your life, becoming the main

Kate Harlow:

character, becoming the leading lady of the story of your life,

Kate Harlow:

and becoming the CO writer and co director with the universe.

Kate Harlow:

So it is three months. So basically you'll have the online

Kate Harlow:

self study to do over and over and over again. I'm going to

Kate Harlow:

link it below this episode, the unscripted woman.com and then if

Kate Harlow:

you scroll down the main page, you'll see the reclamation

Kate Harlow:

there. You can also access it there if you if you don't see

Kate Harlow:

the show notes, but I'll link it below. But basically it's 497,

Kate Harlow:

I'm going live, doing a live round, which I normally don't do

Kate Harlow:

anymore, but January, I'm doing a live round, because there's a

Kate Harlow:

bunch of women that are coming to Greece with me. The immersion

Kate Harlow:

is sold out for this year, but you can get on a wait list for

Kate Harlow:

next year, but it's in the end of April, beginning of May 2026

Kate Harlow:

and those women have to go through the reclamation live. So

Kate Harlow:

I've decided to include everyone else inside of the reclamation

Kate Harlow:

community, because women love to do it over and over and over

Kate Harlow:

again. The inside of the modules, there's video modules,

Kate Harlow:

there's meditations, there's music playlists to connect to

Kate Harlow:

those aspects of yourself. There are workbooks. There's all sorts

Kate Harlow:

of tools and practices that you can go through it again and

Kate Harlow:

again. So again, you have access to that for life. But if you

Kate Harlow:

join now, you get to come and do it live with me in January,

Kate Harlow:

which means you get two zoom calls with me a month where

Kate Harlow:

we're going to do live coaching, hot seats, where we're going to

Kate Harlow:

you're going to meet other heroin sisters in the community

Kate Harlow:

and start expanding your heroin conscious, powerful, amazing

Kate Harlow:

women who are celebrating the crap out of themselves and each

Kate Harlow:

other community in your life. So you'll grow your community, and

Kate Harlow:

I'll do teaching on each archetype, every zoom call as

Kate Harlow:

well, because I help deepen what you've been doing. And there's

Kate Harlow:

practices and there's diamonds, and it's a really powerful way

Kate Harlow:

to start the year. So it'll be January until the end of March,

Kate Harlow:

and I highly recommend you join. It's so fun. I would love to see

Kate Harlow:

you in there. So click the link to sign up for the reclamation.

Kate Harlow:

You'll get to join us for free. The program used to be 997 when

Kate Harlow:

I did the live versions of it, and now it doesn't have live but

Kate Harlow:

I am doing a live one this January, so you will get a live

Kate Harlow:

one with me, which is so amazing, but only for 497 you

Kate Harlow:

have lifetime access to it. And yeah, would love to have you in

Kate Harlow:

the community. And would love to support you, to bring the energy

Kate Harlow:

you want to bring into 2026 to stop being a victim of the

Kate Harlow:

script and the story, or stop being a stop being trapped in

Kate Harlow:

the story of who you're taught to be, so you can really reclaim

Kate Harlow:

the woman that you were born to be. You are so much more than

Kate Harlow:

you could ever know, and I have a lot of evidence to prove this

Kate Harlow:

is true with women. I can't even tell you how many endless

Kate Harlow:

stories I have of women who who I meet them as one version of

Kate Harlow:

themselves, and they're absolutely a totally different

Kate Harlow:

human on the other side of this journey, because there's so much

Kate Harlow:

more inside of you than you could ever know. So wrapping

Kate Harlow:

your heart in so much love as you wrap yourself in so much

Kate Harlow:

love in the transition out of this year, celebrate the crap

Kate Harlow:

out of yourself. Celebrate everything you've done, show how

Kate Harlow:

you've shown up for yourself, how you've new perspective, new

Kate Harlow:

ways of being, new habits, new rituals, what you've let go of,

Kate Harlow:

celebrate yourself, everything you're proud of. This is so

Kate Harlow:

important to heal that little girl inside who didn't get the

Kate Harlow:

love that she needed in the way she needed it. The. To take

Kate Harlow:

ownership for those old stories, do the full rewrite, like we

Kate Harlow:

talked about, so you're not carrying any blame energy into

Kate Harlow:

2026 and also burn the stories of that you don't want to carry

Kate Harlow:

with you anymore, that are stopping you from following your

Kate Harlow:

dreams, that are stopping you from believing what you know in

Kate Harlow:

your heart and soul to be possible, that are keeping you

Kate Harlow:

believing something else. So burn those stories. And then,

Kate Harlow:

obviously, safely do so safely. Make sure there's water nearby.

Kate Harlow:

And then, what energy am I bringing? Who am I reclaiming?

Kate Harlow:

What? What aspect of my heroin Am I stepping into in 2026 and

Kate Harlow:

you can write out that as a story. You can join us in the

Kate Harlow:

reclamation and be supported in that journey. There's so many

Kate Harlow:

ways to do it, but, but you can do it in a meditation in the

Kate Harlow:

mirror. What are you? You can even do the one from last week's

Kate Harlow:

episode, if you heard it, old myths, new truths. What new

Kate Harlow:

truths are you stepping into and then put on some music and move

Kate Harlow:

through your living room like you were that woman already. So

Kate Harlow:

you get to rewrite your story. You are the CO writer, the co

Kate Harlow:

director and the leading lady. So it's time to take charge,

Kate Harlow:

time to take responsibility for your life. You've got this I

Kate Harlow:

love you and Happy Holidays. Merry Christmas to those of you

Kate Harlow:

who celebrate Christmas and yeah, be so loving to yourself

Kate Harlow:

and to everyone else you come in contact with this week and

Kate Harlow:

always you.