00:00:08 Sana: Welcome back, listeners to Bill's Blend, where we sit down with people who have built something meaningful not just businesses, but versions of themselves they never knew were possible. I'm your host, and I'm bringing up a conversation today, listeners for all of you, which I have been looking forward to, honestly. And it's the one that makes me a little uncomfortable, but in a good way, because my guest has a story that most people would call, quote unquote inspirational. But I think that word gets thrown around so much that it loses its weight. What I am more interested in is the mess behind the medals, the doubt behind the determination, and whether all that pain actually had to happen for the growth to follow. Listeners, joining me is someone who was told that he would never run or jump again after a devastating knee injury. He went on to complete over one ninety obstacle races and win sixteen gold medals in track and field. He donated a kidney to his sister. He watched his father pass away, and through it all he has turned his struggles into a platform, hosting Shut Up and Grind, where he has interviewed over three hundred people who have defied their own odds. But here's what I want to dig into today's listeners storytelling. Because we live in a world where everyone's crafting their narrative on social media, in job interviews, even in therapy. And my guest has made a career out of helping people reframe their pain into power. So I want to know when does storytelling become genuine personal development, and when does it become just a really polished performance? So with that listeners, let's welcome our guest, Robert Foster. Robert, welcome to Biz Blend. And I'm really glad to to have you here. Really honored to have you here.

00:02:37 Robert Foster: Thank you. I appreciate the opportunity.

00:02:40 Sana: Um, so I want to start with the origin of the of the story here. Robert, before we, you know, go ahead and try to deep dive into this art of storytelling or, you know, uh, the world of storytelling. So you talk a lot about using your story to help others conquer self-doubt. But then I'm curious, like when you were in the thick of it, like after the after that knee injury, um, when doctors said that you would never run again. What are you thinking about that story at all, or were you just trying to survive? Like. Or maybe you were just trying to process everything that. Is this real or not? Is this happening with me or maybe kind of trying to question yourself or maybe, um, the higher power or, you know, anything like, why is it happening to me?

00:03:36 Robert Foster: Yeah. So to fully answer that question, I have to share a couple other small stories to really understand what my mindset was in that moment. So growing up, I'm the youngest of seven and we were all athletes and my my parents were active as well. For whatever reason, I got the genetic short straw. So like my brothers were tall, they were muscular. My sister was tall and muscular. And for whatever reason, as a freshman in high school, I was short and skinny. So I also had a bad stutter. Like, I couldn't say mom. I'd be like, mum, mum mum mum mum mum mum mum mhm mhm. Right. So I'm like all right. So I'm short I'm skinny I can't talk. It's like what is wrong with me. So like the first probably ten years of my life I just thought that there was something wrong with me and that and that drove me. It's like I just want to be like everyone else. I'm tired of being teased and one of the most, one of the most pivotal moments. And this moment really shaped all the way to who I am now at fifty one. So going back to being a freshman, I went to go talk to my track coach and I asked him for the record book, and he looked at me like that was the dumbest thing I could have asked him for. He's like, why do you want the record book? I said, Because I'm going to break the high jump record. And he says, he says, you don't have what it takes to be a high jumper. Why don't you go and do the hurdles? And I was like, I don't I don't want to do hurdles, you know. So let's fast forward. So, so he he gives me the record book. You know, I circle the records that I want, and I just became a student of the sport because I knew at some point said my dad and my brothers were both over six foot tall. So I was like, I have to grow eventually, right? So it just became a student of the sport, and I ended up breaking that record plus four other records, right. And again, I share that just because in any moment, in anything that anyone goes through, you have options. It's like just because the coach told me that he thought I didn't have what it took. That doesn't mean I don't. I don't have what it takes. Right. So and how that relates to that injury in two thousand and nine, it was the exact same thing, you know. So I had that that knee injury and it was a bad injury. Don't get me wrong. But the ER doctor comes in, he takes the brace off and he's like, oh you're never gonna run a jump again. And I was like, I took, like I took those words to heart at first because I mean this is a doctor, right? And but then after about maybe five minutes, I was like, how does he know? How does he know how I am personally going to heal? Now, at the time I was like, I'm in. I was thirty four years old. I'm like, I'm in great shape. I was like, how does how does he know he's he walked in this room and within fifteen seconds tried to put a diagnosis on my life. And going back to that track coach, I had two choices. I'm like, I can just listen to this guy, or I can just take matters into my own hands and just focus on making a full recovery. And that's what I chose to do.

00:06:53 Sana: Wow. One thing that you know, because now I'm having all these, you know, barrage of thoughts and questions within me. But one thing I must say, I don't know, I mean, um, even at, at a like the split second, this this thought came to my mind. You know, before I thought of articulating what I'm going to say here, that. Oh, Sarah, you don't believe. You know what you see? So, um, maybe do not say that, but I must say, um, fifty one. I don't believe that, uh, because, uh, I thought maybe thirty forty is fine, but you don't look like fifty one. You don't even.

00:07:32 Robert Foster: Know fifty one and a half.

00:07:35 Sana: Almost exactly. But but you don't sound like. But you don't look like also, because even at, you know, in my thirties, um, sometimes I don't even sound like I'm like, you know, thirty years young. I sometimes when I listen to my husband, I, I listen to my own words. I feel like, why am I sounding so tired and, and, you know, um, so, so old. Why? And. Yeah, I mean, That's really amazing. I really love the energy. And, um, I really appreciate because, um, for me, one, one, uh, you know, like, message that, um, this, this part of your journey, this particular story says is that, yes. It's not about disrespecting or dismissing any medical advice here, but then it also doesn't mean that there is no hope left. Like if just one person giving you this verdict, I mean, yes, there could be. They are saying it maybe through their own lens, or maybe from their knowledge or what they have experienced or whatever they know, but it doesn't mean the end of the world.

00:08:51 Robert Foster: Yes. Yeah. Agreed, agreed. It's like people have to understand that the mind controls the body, right? So I coach track and field and I did an exercise with them. And anyone listening to this, You can do this. Do this as well. And it takes a matter of seconds. But this proves that the mind controls the body. So I said to them, I said, close your eyes now. So I stayed quiet for a couple of seconds. Said, now I want you to picture an ice bath. Okay. So they picturing an ice bath and I'm like, close your eyes. Like in really, really picture this ice bath. I said, now picture getting in it. And I said, now, right now, this moment. How many of you feel cold? And all of their hands went up? Mhm. Right. And that was and that was just a matter of seconds. So right now as we speak, I am three weeks removed from knee replacement surgery. Three weeks. And before I even had the surgery I was already giving myself milestones because people are like, oh, you're going to be laid up for like a year. I said, oh no, I won't. I said, I will not be laid up a year. Absolutely not. I said, I'd say ninety days. I'll be I'll be back to doing eighty percent of the things I used to do. Ninety days. I said, six months. I'll be competing again. And I was like, oh, you're crazy. You don't know that. And I'm like, listen, all all of these stats are based on the average person. Okay? Not everybody goes to the gym. Not everybody is a fitness trainer. Not everybody is in shape. So you can't judge my healing based on what the average person would do. Because I go to the gym and I work hard, I train hard and I'm mental and I'm mentally strong. So I'm like, I'm going to defy the odds yet again. And this was my eighth surgery. And so I just had my appointment on Friday. And the goals that they had for me for the end of physical therapy, I've already hit them and I'm three weeks in. And why? Because before the surgery, I already told myself this is how this is going to go, you know. I mean, yeah. Was it painful in the beginning? Of course it was. Is it uncomfortable now? Of course it is. But I am far ahead of where anyone else in this particular physical therapy. They said I'll probably get out in record time. The way. The way I'm progressing. Just because I told myself upfront this is how this is going to go.

00:11:27 Sana: That is really, really amazing. That is really amazing. And yes, you are actually right. I mean, it does make sense because, um, some of my very close acquaintances, I mean, I was I was having a conversation with another one of my friend and, um, he was talking about how, um, you know, during the pandemic, uh, like, because everyone they were going back to their, their homes, they were going back to their families somehow and in some or the other way they were trying to make it possible. Uh, because, you know, almost everyone was laid off from their jobs or there was nothing left in there. So it was like the right, right. At the most intense moments of the pandemic back in twenty twenty. And like he was this one single person who was staying alone in the entire building. Nobody was there. I mean, I cannot imagine that situation. And then when when I look at some of the decisions he has made and the way, you know, he tackles all the problems, all the challenges somewhere down the line, I really got to know that, you know, mental strength is is different for different people. Like I was I was going through one of the articles, um, and this is my own personal observation that people who have had already maybe, you know, their own lived experiences of, of very challenging situations. Or maybe the kind of, you know, consumer bit of challenging or maybe a bit of, you know, realistic content. Um, whether it's it's movies or popular media or they're aware of, you know, what the most horrible things can be out there. They were better receptive of the, the, you know, the pandemic, the situation of lockdown. They were able to divest that. You know, there are no humans. I cannot see anyone out there. It's all it's all empty. It's all deserted. They were still able to digest it properly. So it's kind of, you know, that your mind actually is is controlling your body, how your body is reacting.

00:13:44 Robert Foster: Yep. Yeah, absolutely. During that time period. So obviously I'm a I'm at the time I had my own gym and of course the gyms were shut, the gyms were shut down, you know, and a lot of people went to doing to doing virtual classes and they were doing them for free. But I, I continued charging because I was like, you know what? You pay for? What you pay for is the accountability. You know, so like the accountability isn't changing anything. We're just changing the location. So instead of being at the gym lifting weights, you're in your living room with a jug of laundry detergent and that's it. That's your weight. But a lot of people were even saying that the workouts were actually harder during Covid, because people couldn't talk to each other, because I could just mute everybody's microphones and then just hammer them with exercise after exercise. But the people that didn't make it, it was because they let the problem consume them. And that's what happens in in everyday life. Like I was just on the show at one o'clock and I said that. I said, people, people get stuck into this hamster wheel because they have where they are now, and then they have where they want, and the path to get to what they want isn't clear. And then so they just wake up every day as Groundhog Day and they're trying to to survive the day. And they don't know what it is that they want. Like even going back to my, my rehab of any of them. Like I said, I've had eight surgeries, so you can take any of the eight. And I gave myself goals with each one. Like when I had my shoulder done, I had it done the day before Thanksgiving in twenty fifteen, and there was a fourteen mile obstacle race at the end of April, and I signed up for that race. And the surgeon, the physical therapist, they're all like, you know, most people aren't going to be ready. I said, well, let me stop you right there. I am not most people like I'm telling myself I am going to be ready by that date, you know? So whatever you tell yourself, your body responds. And my body responded. I was able to do that race and I completed every obstacle. Mhm.

00:15:55 Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah.

00:15:56 Sana: And you know Robert one thing and this is specifically relating to storytelling here because um, I mean I hope that you know, people don't get me wrong. But sometimes storytelling because now everyone you know, there is this trend now that you know, where people almost seem to be like collecting, hardships for their origin story that, you know, I had to overcome this. I had to overcome that. Then I got I'm doing so much of hard work, like, you know, they're building a resume of trauma. Uh, what you are describing, I mean, it sounds different because it sounds like the storytelling came after the survival, not during. So it kind of brings me into this question that, like, when did you first realize that what you went through wasn't just your private pain, but something that could actually be useful to other people. Like was there a specific moment or was it gradual because, um, sharing your story like it genuinely helps someone. Then there's a difference of sharing it because you need validation, like you are kind of, you know, um, extracting some kind of sympathetic validation from people that, you know, you went through. It meant something like, it's it's a tough line to walk. So what was that moment for you?

00:17:25 Robert Foster: Yeah. So it wasn't even really related to any of the struggles that I went through. Once I realized that life is just bigger, it's on a bigger scale was when I first started my fitness business. I was I started in my garage, and this was right around the time where Planet Fitness here in the States was popping up all over the place. And one of my clients? Yes. So one of my clients, she she goes to hand me her check for the month, and she pulls it back and she's like, I just want you to know, she's like, two minutes from my house. A brand new, state of the art Planet Fitness just opened. She's like, it's ten dollars a month. She's like, I'm about to pay you five times the amount because you believed in me before. I believed in myself. And that's what I knew. This is bigger than losing weight. This is bigger than building muscle. This is bigger than your body fat, your body fat percentage. It's like, this is like literal personal development. And then as I as I got more and more versed just in personal development, in understanding the four major personality types and how to interact with them and what their needs are and what their stresses are. I started to expand my work to just help people on the storytelling side. Like I don't deal with the mega with the medical side because not everybody needs medical attention or a therapist. A lot of people are just stuck. So that's my target market, is people who are stuck, and I can help them take the things that they went through in their life, help them reframe that, reframe it, and then point them in the direction of what it is they actually want to accomplish.

00:19:11 Speaker 3: Absolutely, absolutely.

00:19:13 Sana: I think that's what is a like in terms of business. Like that's what is a true value, um, or true disruption. Me that, you know, uh, the, the people who, who you're working with or, you know, your clients, you're saying that, um, I even if I paid five times more than the other next bigger option, like a more credible brand, more maybe popular brand. Because I found value in your product or service like you believed in me before I could believe in myself. And I think that is something that I. I think, you know, every founder entrepreneur kind of dreams about that this is exact kind of, you know, testimony I would expect or I would, I would work hard and strive to get.

00:20:11 Robert Foster: Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Like, people want to tell the good parts of their story, but it's not the good parts of your story that people identify with. Like if you're someone who's living paycheck to paycheck, you don't want to listen to a podcast about someone talking about their million dollar business or you don't you don't want to connect with that. But if that person has a better origin story where they came from, nothing. They sacrificed everything they put their life into, into this mission and into this purpose. And then they built something that turned into a million dollar business. Like, that's a that's a difference between getting up and stating your resume and actually telling a story. So once I realized that fitness was bigger than just me, me barking orders and making people do push ups and squats like this is bigger. Like giving people a belief system, giving people a path to confidence. You know, giving people a chance to build resilience by doing like longer rounds, more intense rounds, you know, lots of work with a little bit, a little bit of rest. And they're actually becoming better versions of themselves. So now it's about purpose. It's not just about me. It's not just about me making X amount of dollars. It's about leaving an impact. It's like I have people that I haven't trained with me for ten years who still inbox me and say, I have never found a class quite like yours. And they've been away from me for ten years. now, I'm not saying I'm God's gift gift of training because I'm definitely not. But I will push people out of that comfort zone where people will say, I need a rest. And I'm like, I need ten more seconds. You know, just getting that mindset, just like with me being in pain after surgery. And I still went to work the next day, you know, I still went to work the day after that and sitting in a wheelchair being being on on pain meds and but the job still has to get done. It's like I'm, I'm a better version of myself when I am in my element, you know? So to build the resilience, you gotta do the things that you don't want to do.

00:22:25 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah.

00:22:27 Sana: That is also also very much true, Robert. And let's, let's talk about Shut Up and Grind because you have interviewed over three hundred people in there like you have. You have heard you have like, you know, witnessed hundreds of stories about people overcoming incredible odds. And I absolutely believe that, you know, like from where you are coming because, uh, here I, I actually want to know that, you know, do you ever worry, Robert, that we have turned struggle into currency? You know, that the market for inspirational content, it has gotten so saturated that, you know, we are I mean, I don't know, like cheapening actual hardship.

00:23:16 Robert Foster: That's a valid question. So if, if you're if people are out there are consuming generic content, then yes, you can. You can say that the personal development space is getting saturated. But like for my particular show and my particular angle, like I just believe in brutal truths, it's like I don't get on the airwaves and tell people what they want to hear, because nine times out of ten, what they want to hear isn't what they need to hear. So a lot of people who were stuck is self-imposed. You know, because we live in a society now that just normalizes struggle. It's like, oh, oh, you know, you're going through this because you have this, you're going through this because you you have that. And it's like and again, this is in most cases, I'm not talking about the extreme cases. In most cases people are just they become comfortable with their struggle rather than wanting something different. Like three years ago, I hit a rock bottom that I never thought that I would hit, but but I was there and I did go into that dark place. But then I had to remember who I was at my core and what I want to accomplish and what I want to leave behind when my time is done on this earth. I was like in me, sitting here wallowing in self misery isn't going to get me there. And then I had to take action on the things that I had to do to become that person that I need to be to build this thing that I want. That's kind of make an impact on people and in my part of the world that I can, I can affect. But it starts with, with you identifying that your struggle isn't who you are. Your struggle is what you went through. Right? Who you are is who you become as a result of that struggle.

00:25:03 Sana: Absolutely. Absolutely. I think I, I really appreciate you saying that because, uh, this is intention. I mean, the the differences in intention, like, there's a difference between someone who's, um, monetizing their pain and someone who is genuinely creating sustainable impact, like creating a legacy, like a true legacy. Um, and if you are, you know, let's say, um, I want to actually push back a little in here, Robert, because, like if you are getting paid to speak about your story, if your podcast is growing, if brands want to work with you because of what you have overcome, at what point does it stop being personal development and start being a business model? And is that even a bad thing?

00:25:58 Robert Foster: So that depends on on the person. For me personally, I'm not driven by the business end of this. Like even when I got into fitness, it started as a hobby. Like that wasn't supposed to grow into a five thousand square foot, six figure business. Like that was a positive side effect of me just wanting to help people. And it's the same thing now. I actually start a class tomorrow in eight weeks that's going to piece together. I basically I basically took my book, condensed it, and turned it into a web app that's going to help people input what their struggles are. It's attached to an AI that's going to completely reframe their struggle. So now some people will read that and be like, this is total BS. Other people will read that and they'll see their struggles from a completely different angle. So for me, that's my focus. I'm going to focus on taking those people who have turned their struggles into their identity and help them see it from a different angle. And the more people that I can help do that, then yes, that's going to help me on the business end. But I'm not like, I need to make this much money and I need to do this because once you take your focus off of helping people, your product will slowly start to diminish in value. Right. I've watched that happen. Like a good a good example is there was a kickboxing gym that I was going to. And when they first started, they were nice. They were greeting people that like their customer service was phenomenal, top notch. But then as they grew and they grew and they grew, and then they lost that personal touch. And none of those businesses are still are still in business like they were. I think they had three or four locations and all of them are closed, you know, because they they started focusing on just building the business, building the business, instead of creating genuine relationships with people that need the service.

00:28:06 Sana: Exactly, exactly. I totally agree with you all because, We I think that's, you know, exactly. It's kind of, you know, the the victim. victim mindset or that victim mentality that, you know, it kind of lets you get completely stuck in in that loop in that cycle.

00:28:28 Robert Foster: Um, yes.

00:28:30 Sana: Before you decide to take everything in control. And I mean, at least, you know, there has to be an action, a starting point at least, because in reality, I think there are things which are in our control, and there are some things which are not under our control, but at least but if we are not taking any action here, then who exactly or what exactly should we blame? Because we are the problem. We are the solution here. So I totally, totally agree with you on this. And before we wrap up, I think, um, my final question is somewhere connected to this. Because somewhere, you know, sometimes I really feel, Robert, that because most of the conversations and interviews that have taken on podcast behind every behind, whether it's their own brand or the company or the work that they're doing or maybe coaching or mentoring, there is a journey of struggles. There is a journey of or there's this fleeting moment of some life changing event happening, or maybe years and years of struggle, maybe years and years of abuse. Um, so is it do people need to struggle to be successful, or have we just romanticized suffering because it makes for a better story?

00:30:09 Robert Foster: Though that depends on how you define struggle. Because think of, you know, like a lot of people struggle financially. Yeah, but think about the the amount of celebrities that have turned to drugs and turned to alcoholism and turned to sex trafficking. You know, uh,

00:30:27 Robert Foster: you know. So, like, what are the biggest struggles out there is financial. And even people who are wealthy still fall victim to struggle. Exactly. You know, so. So is struggle normal? Yes. It's normal. But your response to it doesn't have to be like, that's. I really think I'm no better than anybody else. Like, I don't walk around here proclaiming that I have it all figured out, I don't I, I have my share of struggles. But just when my struggles arise, I do my best to get to the solution as quickly as possible. It's like I make mistakes. I'm going to continue to make mistakes. Like, that's human nature. Everybody does it. But if you don't learn from the mistake. Like if you have your car and you hit the curb and then you hit the curb again, and then you hit the curb again. The problem is you. It's not the car. It's not where the curb is at that point. The problem is you. Like recently, I've been been been making the same mistake, you know, with a friend of mine. And now I'm just at the point, like, it's all right. This. This is me. Because I'm the one that keeps doing it. It's like, this is me. So I have to stop making this, this mistake. But in society, it's easier to blame. The thing like this is it's because this happened. It's because of this person. It's because of my boss. It's because I have kids. It's because I have this. And they want to point the finger at everyone and everything except themselves, because you can't affect what other people do, but you can affect how you respond to it.

00:32:05 Sana: Absolutely, absolutely. And that is something that speaks about inner leadership. I recently learned this word. I mean, we talk about being, um, and this is irrespective of our, uh, of business or personal lives. You know, when because accountability and and vulnerability. I think both of these there could be like the counterintuitive parts here, but they are so essential for someone to be a leader here because people learn from you or they try to get inspired from you. And when they see their leader, like blatantly, blatantly not accepting their mistakes, they were also kind of learn something from you, only similarly that they they would blame either the system or someone else, but they wouldn't want to accept that. Yes, it's my mistake and I apologize for that and let me learn from it. Let me rectify it.

00:33:12 Robert Foster: Yes. Yeah. Because people see that as weakness. But that's that's the ultimate strength to stand up and be like, you know what? I messed up like I messed up my, you know, my fault. I want to make it right. But but but again, it's easier to just say, no. You did this.

00:33:29 Sana: Exactly, exactly. Lovely, lovely. Um, Robert. So in the interest of time, you know, before we wrap up, um, if our listeners, uh, they would like to further explore more about your journey and also more about storytelling and also listen to your podcast, Shut Up and Crime. Uh, what would be the easiest way?

00:33:53 Robert Foster: Yeah. So for the podcast, I'm on all the podcast platforms you can just search for Shut Up and Grind. The book has the same name and that's on Amazon. And then of course socials is best to just go to my website. Robert B, make sure you had to be Robert Foster. And my social links are are on there. I'm most active on um LinkedIn, LinkedIn Facebook, Instagram and TikTok.

00:34:18 Sana: Amazing. There you go. You heard from Robert, and I'm gonna make sure that all the links, the details are mentioned in the show notes. So, listeners, I encourage, I invite all of you to tune in to Robert's podcast, Sharp and Grind. And, uh, yes, as we conclude, I think this has been really a very, very rich conversation. Um, Robert, I really appreciate you being willing to go to some of those harder places with me. And I think what I'm taking away from this is that, um, storytelling is powerful. It is, but only when it is honest, only when it leaves room for for contradiction, for nuance, for growth and for the fact that we are still all, you know, work in progress. We're learning every day.

00:35:14 Robert Foster: Yes, absolutely. Love it.

00:35:18 Sana: Super. And, um, for anyone listening who's trying to figure out how to make sense of their own story. I hope, listeners, this gave you permission to be messy with it. Maybe you'll you'll not have all the answers, but at least to question whether the the narrative you have been telling yourself is still serving you, or if it is time to write a new one. And if you want to connect with Robert once again, go to the show notes. Find them. Attach along with this episode on your favorite podcast platform. And thank you so much to all my listeners for tuning in to Bliss Blend. I am Sarah. Until next time, stay curious, stay critical, and I'll catch you in the next episode. Take care.